How Can I Be a Boss When I Hate Managing People?

Boss.Hate Managing People.SeiblyI have many clients who don’t enjoy and actually hate working with people. After working with me, some have grown so much they now excel at working with people. Others have made job changes that don’t require managing others…and are now successful in their careers. Some became entrepreneurs, believing it would prevent them from having to deal with managing people. Yet, they found that in order to make money, they needed acceptable people skills.

Whether you like managing people or not, good people skills are critical for success.

Managing people can be confusing:

  • -They say one thing and do something different.
  • -They get upset with you for telling them the truth.
  • -They ignore your advice and do it their own way…to the detriment of others.
  • -They lie about how difficult it is to work with you in order to further their own career.

Gordon is a manager in a technology company and has 10 team members that report to him. When there is a problem, he uses the ostrich approach and only gets involved when it’s absolutely unavoidable. He pits team members against one another by not filtering his comments. He says he detests chaos, but, actually thrives in it because he can swoop in to save the project and client.

After hearing many complaints, Gordon’s boss mandated he works with a coach. At first, he tried to manipulate the coach into believing he had the wrong team members. After all, it wasn’t his fault people were difficult to work with. But, the coach had a lot of coaching experience and started the process with a qualified job fit assessment on Gordon.

The assessment results showed Gordon he didn’t like managing people. He remarked, “True, but, there is no other way of making more money and landing a better position in the company.”

Over the next several months, he listened, became coachable, and used the advice the coach gave him to handle specific situations. He enrolled (and actively participated) in “soft skill” workshops. These built his confidence and competence. He still did not enjoy managing people, but, he learned how to effectively work with them and through them to achieve the intended results. A year later, he was promoted to the director level.

What Can You Do When You Hate Managing People?

  1. Clarify. Do you actually dislike working with people OR do you lack the training and experience to do so? To gain a realistic POV, use a qualified job-fit assessment. Using objective data will help you understand why you feel the way you do. It can also help you understand your team members and gain insight into how to improve your working relationships.
  2. Resolve Past Circumstances. When past issues have not been resolved (work, personal, and family), they’ve not been forgotten, even if you don’t consciously remember them. Take the time to talk out concerns (e.g., trust) and gain a healthier perspective by working with a therapist.
  3. Take Part in Soft Skills Training. Participate in workshops that focus on experiential processes, not concepts or theories. These will provide breakthroughs in how to work effectively with and manage people like a boss. Areas to focus on include: conflict resolution, active listening, building alignment, creating win-win-win outcomes, etc. As the boss, you probably will not love managing people, but, you will develop an effective management style over time.
  4. Hire an Executive Coach. And, find an industry mentor. Each can help you work through confusing situations and political relationships. As the boss, the keys are to listen and be coachable.
  5. Focus on the Project and Results. Focus on empowering your team. As the boss, provide clear goals, budgets, milestones, and expectations for projects. Manage according to milestones and provide needed resources for the team. Don’t manage people’s personalities. When conflicts occur due to team members being difficult, personally resolve it or bring in a facilitator. Remember, it does not mean you’ve failed when you bring in an outside executive coach to resolve a major issue. It actually makes you look successful.

 ©Jeannette Seibly, 2019

Being a great boss requires working through complex issues and confusing situations. Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people for the past 26 years. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

Is your team over budget and missing their milestones? Do you know why? http://ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6

 

Why Do I Make the Same Costly Mistakes?

Avoid Costly Mistakes“Mistakes will continue to happen if you don’t learn from them.” Jeannette Seibly

As a coach, I’m asked great questions.

Recently, one of the best was, “Why do people continue to make the same mistakes?”

There is no one right answer to this question.

Here’s a story of someone that didn’t learn from her costly mistakes.

Shelby spent $12,000 to publish her first book. The process was not easy, despite her book coach, Bert, telling her it wouldn’t be hard. The first mistake was when Bert assigned Nolan to do the layout of Shelby’s book before the manuscript was professionally edited. Costs mounted due to lots of changes, frustrating everyone involved. Shelby’s second mistake was expecting the sales of her book to occur without any marketing. Bert had failed to outline a marketing plan with her. A year later, when she published the second book, Shelby repeated the same mistakes leaving her frustrated and broke.

Understand Why Mistakes Repeat

Ego trumps objectivity. We want easy and immediate answers, believing if we’ve been burnt once we way too smart to be burnt again!

Intuition isn’t always right. Mistakes repeat when you confuse intuition with emotional feelings about someone or something.

For example, you’re driving down I25 in Colorado from Denver to Castle Rock and are about to pass the Castle Pines exit. Suddenly, a little voice says, “Exit Here!” Your ego chimes in saying, “I’m in a hurry and can’t be late by taking the scenic route.”  Several miles later you find yourself stuck in traffic due to a major accident that closed the highway. That’s intuition. There often is no immediate logic when intuition speaks.

Rely on others’ experiences. Others’ experiences are not yours! Someone else’s career path or life choices worked for them, but, won’t necessarily work for you.

Duped by charlatans. Yes, they exist! If you believe you cannot be duped, check social media posts and feeds!  It’s very common.

8 Tips to Avoid Repeating the Same Mistakes

  1. Clarify, “What’s the end result I need or desire?” This is a critical and often overlooked step. Create three non-negotiables to avoid mistakes. For example, what are three must-haves to accept this job offer (e.g., health insurance, pay, job title, job responsibilities, etc.)?
  2. Self-Talk. Negative talk about yourself will diminish inner confidence and increase the likelihood of mistakes re-occurring. Learn self-promotion to gain true confidence from your past accomplishments. This creates a positive foundation to avoid repeating mistakes.
  3. Awareness. In other words, we make a difference. Become emotionally and socially present when interacting with others and watch the difference you will make.
  4. Trust Yourself. Seek objective information and stop relying on your biased mental chatter. Talk with no more than one or two confidants. Asking for more than three opinions will normally leave you confused and stuck.
  5. Work with Your Executive Coach. Confidentially talk out complex issues or confusing situations with your coach. This support will objectively uncover your blind spot(s). Then, take immediate actions without over-analyzing them! (If you are over-analyzing, it’s just your ego in overdrive.)
  6. Read Biographies. Many successful people (yes, Steve Jobs, Martin Luther King, Michael Jordan – to mention a few well-known and successful people) have failed and made mistakes. You’re not alone! Learn from them.
  7. Become Friends with Your Calculator. Many people profess to hate math…yet, numbers can help you make better decisions. Take a refresher financial and/or math class. To avoid mistakes, work with a financial business consultant to double check your numbers and logic.
  8. Create New Habits. Ask questions and deep dive to collect objective data about products or services. Don’t forget to have a real attorney read any contracts before you sign them!

A couple of questions to get you started:

-How are your services/products different?

-How much money is expected up front? When is the balance due? (Hint: pay by credit card for faster refunds.)

-What have been your successes?

-What is your biggest mistake? Why? What did you learn?

By using the 8 tips above, you will learn to avoid repeating the same costly mistakes over and over again.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019

Being a great boss requires working through complex issues or confusing situations to avoid costly mistakes. Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people for the past 26 years. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

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How to Rock the Boat for Better Results

Success.Failure

Making a commitment to stand up and speak up can rock the boat with any team. It requires courage and an ability to take have the right, sometimes, tough conversations to produce better results.

The challenge is not everyone will agree with you; and, not everyone will support you, even if you are correct.

So, it begs the question, “Why bother?”

Ask yourself, “if I’m not willing to rock the boat, who will?”

The underlying problem is fear and it creates the ostrich approach.

Some excuses are:

  • “I’m uncomfortable saying anything.”
  • “No one will like me or listen to me if I say anything.”
  • “If it doesn’t bother me, it shouldn’t bother you.”

Taking the ostrich approach ignores obvious matters and pretends they don’t exist. But, when problems do exist, avoidance doesn’t support the intended results.

Successful teams know that being clear of the costs of poor outcomes and making the commitment to rock the boat will produce better results.

It Takes Courage

Ignoring an issue until it can no longer be avoided is not a good practice. Provide training on how to conduct effective meetings (group and virtual). Use an executive coach to get the team unstuck and guide the creation of viable solutions. Encourage each and every team member to stand up and speak up. These will build communication, trust, accountability, and amazing results.

Rock the Boat Responsibly

  1. Voice your concerns in a positive tone. Remember, some team members will be unwilling to listen and consider there is a problem. Be prepared to review the objective facts before addressing less-factual concerns. Be respectful when addressing differing POVs.
  2. Brainstorm solutions with the team. Focus on creating win-win-win outcomes by brainstorming solutions with the team, not relying on one person for the answers. Don’t jump on selecting the first idea that resonates with the team. Explore ideas by taking the time to ask the right questions and deep dive into who, what, when, where, why, before addressing how. Use persuasive listening techniques to build alignment before revising the plan or project.
  3. Implement changes immediately. After alignment has occurred, it’s time to implement the change immediately. Remember, change can be difficult for some people and waiting will have people get cold feet. Make sure the person responsible for implementing the change has the interest and ability to do so. If there is a problem, immediately set up a meeting to talk with them. Before offering solutions, address: What has been done? What do they view as the next step? What, if anything, has stopped them from taking the new action?

©Jeannette Seibly, 2017-2019

Being proactive as a boss is one of the most difficult challenges you will face. It’s difficult to know when to stand up and speak up. Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people for the past 26 years. She has guided bosses and teams to excel. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

Is your team over budget and missing their milestones? Why? Get your answers: http://ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6

How to Be a Proactive Boss and Stop Fire-Fighting

boss.fire fighting.proactiveEverywhere, exhausted bosses hate having to put out “fires.” The sad truth is, many of these “hot issues” are preventable by being proactive.

I remember reminiscing with a former coaching client last year. We laughed at the many stories we had addressed when he was the director of a technology company.

One of the most powerful stories was, he never seemed to worry about anything. His normal response, “I understand that maybe I should be worried … and I am concerned … but, I don’t see how running around will change anything.”

His new version: “If there is a fire in the building, I need to get involved instead of sitting and roasting marshmallows.”

He was right. Over-reacting is just as bad as not-reacting. It’s why our coaching calls focused on becoming a proactive boss that prevented “fires” from occurring.

Get Into Action Now

Stop Waiting for “The Perfect Time.” It’s a myth! Waiting until the situation or issue is “really hot” makes it more difficult to “put out the fire.” Attempting to drench it with a fire hose only has team members drown in chaos. In the chaos, the real core issue is camouflaged by smoke and mirrors. Listen up! Be open to hearing what you don’t want to hear. It’s the only way to be proactive and put the fire out now.

Two co-team facilitators sniped at each other during team meetings. Many team members stopped attending and blamed each other for the conflicts. When the boss heard about it, she simply stated, “People will be people.” It wasn’t until her top employee left that she decided she better listen! He blamed her for his need to leave. Perplexed, the boss asked why he felt that way. He replied, “All you had to do was care enough to be proactive, instead of waiting for the inevitable fires.”

Uncover “Why” There Are Upsets and Frustrations. Have you been hearing gossip and sparks of dissension?  If there are complaints, it’s past time to get involved! First, address what you have been afraid of hearing. Then, listen and ask questions to get to the heart of the matter. Don’t fall victim to the popular blame-game often used by others to deflect their responsibility. Straight talk and openness are required to create solutions. Note: If the fire is serious enough, before plunging in and making matters worse, dowse it by hiring an executive coach.

Badgering or Micromanaging Will Not Fix the Issue. Many times bosses feel helpless to resolve a current fire or a spark about ready to ignite. They default to nitpicking, playing the blame game, or steamrolling to get the results. These traits do not build high-performing teams, nor resolve the heart of the issue! When asking good business questions listen to your team members. Remember, you can fix the process, but, you cannot fix personalities.

Everyone Needs Training. Most fires are preventable with proactive actions. It starts with training everyone in how to conduct effective meetings, in-person and virtually. Remember, proactive training is ongoing. Focus on listening, conflict resolution, building trust, and holding each person accountable for the results.

Acknowledgement Work Wonders. It’s the boss’s job to let each and every team member know they are valued for their efforts. This can prevent fire-fighting. Why? When team members feel they matter, they are more likely to proactively prevent sparks from turning into out-of-control fires.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019

Being proactive as a boss is one of the most difficult challenges you will face. It’s difficult to know when to step in and when to simply advise. Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people for the past 26 years. She has guided bosses and teams to excel. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

Hope is not a strategy to get your team unstuck! Learn 10 ways to do it now.

How to Be a Great Boss and NOT Steamroll Your Team

Steamroller.Boss

  • -Do you fail to listen and interrupt your team members constantly?
  • -Do you ignore others’ opinions when trying to brainstorm solutions?
  • -Do you fail to coordinate with others and consider your impact on them?
  • -Do you fail to build alignment to get everyone on the same page?

If you answered yes, you probably consider yourself a results producer and expect others to overlook your steamroller approach. Consider this story.

Joelle was looking forward to working with her new boss, Jake. During the interview, Jake asked all the right questions and said all the right things. When Joelle asked good basic questions, he appeared to listen to her by nodding his head.  She was excited to accept the job offer. However, Joelle had failed to deep dive into Jake’s expectations and management style.  

At the very first team meeting, Joelle experienced Jake’s true style as a boss…a steamroller.  During the two hour meeting, he ignored others’ ideas. When he allowed others to speak, he vetoed them or talked over them or talked as if they hadn’t spoken. He acted like he knew the right way to do everything.

 After the meeting finally ended, Joelle was exhausted. She asked one of her new team members, Jon if Jake was having a bad day. Jon shrugged his shoulders and said, “Its Jake’s normal style. At least he wasn’t yelling and blaming us for the current challenges we’re facing.”

Joelle immediately texted the recruiter and told him to find her another job pronto! She wasn’t going to work for a steamroller.

Steamrollers are considered results producers who know how to get the job done. However, they also are considered pushy people who go to great lengths to get what they want when they want it. They have the need to prove they are right about everything.

The real challenge for a steamroller boss is to learn how to reduce team frustration caused by their steamroller approach.

Managing Your Steamrolling Style

Know Thyself. If you’re a steamroller, it’s important to know why. Use objective data from scientifically validated job fit assessments. This tool allows you to discover your natural style and why teams react towards you the way they do. As a company president once stated, “There will always be breakdowns with team members. Knowing ahead of time what can happen and how to address it allows me to sleep better at night.”

Art of Talking It Out. Not listening and being a “know-it-all” hinder your teams from being top results-producers. When talking with others, it’s important for you to ask questions and listen to their responses. Build on these ideas and deep dive to ensure you understand the meaning of their comments. Be fearless when addressing conflicts and get them resolved for win-win-win outcomes.

Fix Your Own Problems. Too often steamrollers create havoc. They expect others to clean up the messes they make, particularly in relationships. It’s important YOU make the effort to learn from your mistakes. It starts by apologizing (without any excuses) and making amends.

Be Proactive, Not Highly Reactive. Steamrollers are always pushing the panic buttons because they don’t believe their teams are operating the right way. STOP! Your constant badgering and micromanaging are getting in the way. It hurts innovation and team camaraderie. Plan your work and trust others to contribute to the plan. Don’t forget to acknowledge each and every team member for their efforts.

Develop Awareness. The good news is a steamroller can produce intended results. The bad news their process can be fraught with upsets and frustrations. Steamrolling discourages team members from wanting to work with you and for you. Hire an executive coach and use a qualified 360-degree feedback tool. These will provide insights and clarity. Ask your coach: “How do I stop being a steamrolling boss and still produce intended results?” Then, listen, consider what has been said, and take corrective actions.

Be a Straight Talker. Remember, just because you have a frank and direct way of speaking does not make you a steamroller. People today feel comfortable with fluff and indirect conversations. However, these types of conversations can be time-consuming and produce limited results. Become the type of boss that talks straight without steamrolling. Remember to let your team know before you make comments they don’t or won’t want to hear.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019

Developing your team is one of the most frustrating and difficult roles as a boss. Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for bosses for the past 26 years and has guided teams to succeed. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

Is your team stuck? Is the situation only getting worse? How do you fix the #1 issue all teams experience? Get your answer http://ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6