EQ of leaders

Apologies can save your career.

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Most of us believe we are blameless for our expressions and actions. Many leaders reinforce poor interpersonal practices and fail to address the aftermath of any damage done. In our busy-ness we are often not present in conversations because we are thinking of other things we need to do or formulating rebuttals. By the time we open our mouths, out pops something critical or negative. Feelings our hurt, reputations disparaged and career options become limited, depending upon the recipient of our remarks.

The problem is twofold. First, we take it personally when others express themselves frankly with similar actions or words. Second, we expect others to get over the things we say or do at their expense, including when we violate an agreement. Sadly, we are so adamant about our right to be right that we tend to swat people with their extended olive branch when they let us know they are concerned or upset.

Being aware before you say something inappropriate and not saying it works best. When that fails, apologizing can quickly can save a brilliant career. When you have offended someone, stop and review your deed from their perspective. Saying “I apologize,” “I’m so sorry,” “Please forgive me,” or “It was not my intention to … ” can build a healthy bridge toward healing relationships, building trust and loyalty, creating effective work teams, and soliciting better ideas. As the boss or leader, your attitude and behaviors carry a lot of weight—use them appropriately.

(c)Jeannette L. Seibly, 2013

Apologizing can seem difficult … what do you do to make it easier for you?

Do you sound like a four-year-old?

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“I don’t want to and I shouldn’t have to.” Many professionals take new positions that include tasks they don’t enjoy and are unwilling to do because the new job offers a better paycheck, job title, or other perks. Yet every role has those hated obligations that you need to get done right in order to keep your job. A childish reaction of “I shouldn’t have to do it” is never a good attitude, and doesn’t bode well for future opportunities either.  

One client wanted a new job and got it. He took on a job his new co-workers refused to do. He met with each client and asked the tough question “What can we do to improve?” It transformed his ability to deal with controversy and build teams to resolve issues, and it positioned him for a big new job—running his own company.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t want to do, adjust your attitude and focus on the results. One solution is to focus on resolving customer dilemmas (both internal and external). Or, focus on system improvements you can create with your team by learning the procedures from start to finish. By developing the right inner talk and correct actions, though you may not love your assignments, you’ll get them done well—the sign of a leader with a high social intelligence. This can-do attitude will be recognized when it is time for performance reviews, pay increases, bonus payouts, and promotion opportunities. (Don’t forget to learn how to share these achievements in a business-savvy manner! http://TimeToBrag.com)

(c)Jeannette L. Seibly, 2013

Executive coaching removes elephants in your career.

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Many times executives see coaching as “remedial fixes,” and not enough to remove the elephants in their careers that prevent them from enjoying more money, time, and success. A business advisor can help you design and implement successful results that impact company mission and goals, thus saving your current job and future career—even if you’ve been unknowingly sidelined!

Being the lone ranger and thinking you need to have the answers to everything rarely makes a positive difference for the enterprise. Reading a book or attending a workshop can actually have detrimental results when you attempt to superimpose your limited insights on your organization.

One client had said, “If I had known you would have asked to me to have this conversation with my boss, I would never have hired you.” My response, “A good thing you didn’t know … otherwise you would still hope for a different result without having taken the correct actions. Now you enjoy a lot of notoriety, make more money, and have more fun in your job!” He agreed.

When you embrace coaching and take the appropriate actions, you develop your skills in critical areas such as conflict resolution, project management, and working with and through people to execute ideas effectively. These processes ensure you see alternative solutions while developing your business acumen, taking you from OK to good to great. Many executives rate their coaching experiences as one the best investments of their time and money. Remove your elephant today!  Contact Jeannette Seibly @ JLSeibly@SeibCo.com.

(c)Jeannette L. Seibly, 2013

How has executive coaching helped your career?

Being righteous is a career saboteur.

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Leaders may win the battle but lose the war with their need to be right. Relying on a management style of browbeating employees or being condescending to clients is a lonely fight. Disheartened employees will find a way to invalidate your directives, and your clients will find another resource.  As a leader, it’s your job to learn how to listen to others’ ideas, even if they don’t appear to have merit, and build upon them for solutions. Being righteous is a career saboteur! Creating win-win outcomes is one of your most important jobs.

Where have you won the battle but lost the war in your career?

(c)Jeannette L. Seibly, 2013

Working with Elitists

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The truth is there are business professionals who falsely believe they are smarter or better than others. They fail to listen to others’ ideas and are unable to work with and through people to get the job done. Their disrespectful attitudes are bad habits, and it’s highly unlikely you can change them. To engage them, stay away from declarative statements and ask “What if …” type questions.  Remember, these folks require ideas to be their own and will rarely share any credit with you—unless, of course, there is a failure!

(c)Jeannette L. Seibly, 2013

How can I help you?

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These five words can make a big difference when meeting with a client, employee, or prospective vendor. As business owners and executives, we usually think others should be focused on helping us! Take a step back, become humble, and use these five words to create better relationships with others. They will be more willing to help you if you’ve taken the time to help them!

(c)Jeannette L. Seibly, 2013

Are You a Moody Leader?

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  • Do you thrive on drama?
  • Do people calculate your approachability before talking to you?
  • Do you gossip about your employees or clients?
  • Do others consider you untrustworthy?
  • Do you make decisions based upon your feelings at the moment?

Leaders set examples for the rest of the organization to follow. If you lack consistency in how you communicate, disrespect others in word or deed, or don’t trust others to do their best, employees respond accordingly. If you react (or over-react) before getting the facts, they may be afraid to speak up for fear of retribution. You create more of an issue.

If others are concerned about your effectiveness as a good leader, they will withhold valuable information. In these situations, often your employees’ focus is not on the organization’s goals. They are focused instead on how to work around your moodiness and still keep their jobs.

As a leader, immediate help is required to reaffirm your leadership position and move the enterprise forward. What can you do to resolve this?

Hire a business advisor. Being coachable is critical to anyone’s success, particularly top management. It can be lonely at the top; too often leaders don’t have someone else to talk with and their job can feel like a burden. Talk weekly with a business advisor. Focus on less dramatic ways to handle issues and have the benefit of consistent clarity to guide your organization forward.

Communicate effectively.  #1 concern for any leader! Be prepared to listen more than talk. Learn to ask the right questions. Be open to news you may not like, or new ideas you had not considered. Stop the internal chatterbox ; it inhibits your ability to actually hear what others are saying. When you need to deliver unpopular news or decisions, first think through what you need to say. Write it out. Read it out loud in the mirror. Keep it short, not long-winded.

Stop “should-ing.” Too often we believe people should have known or shouldn’t have said something. We forget the mistakes we’ve made ourselves over the years! A good rule of thumb: When someone does something great, let them know. When they make a mistake, take time to discuss it as soon as possible, one-on-one. When performance concerns are addressed in a consistent and respectful manner, it provides clarity about your expectations. Your employees will usually make the corrections required. If you scream at them, even once, it can damage your long term effectiveness.

©Jeannette L. Seibly, 2012

Want to be leader of excellence?

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Many business professionals have the goal of becoming leaders of a team, company or industry. Yet, many fall short. They fail to develop the key characteristics so crucial to giving them and their company the competitive “edge factor” required for excellence.

Great leaders inspire.

They are visionaries. Often strong employees and managers focus too narrowly on their own little sphere. They fear political corporate pushback. They hope someone else risks making the changes required for the company to become successful. As a result of this paralysis, they fail to create the opportunities, systems and attitudes necessary to generate a positive ROI. Visionaries, however, are fearless and know that if someone isn’t listening, they can find someone else to support their efforts.

They believe there isn’t a problem that can’t be resolved. Leaders have a mindset that recognizes problems and obstacles, but do not allow themselves to be limited by them. They formulate ideas and know how to enroll others into devising solutions to “make the results happen.”

They are driven to excel. While many companies rely upon incremental steps to achieve goals, great leaders look beyond 100% success. They create goals to achieve what may initially seem impossible. They hire the right business advisors, coaches and trainers to support their people to succeed.

©Jeannette L. Seibly, 2012