How to Put Others at Ease During Conversations

microaggression.bizsavvycoach.3As leaders, it’s important to learn how to put others at ease during conversations. Mastering this skill opens up a world of possibilities! With conversations, you will learn about potential project flaws, how to motivate team members, and how to improve your influence with bosses and clients. And, these are only a few of the benefits!

Are you someone who:

  • -Can comfortably talk with all types of people: team members, boards, executives, and influencers?
  • -Marvels at others’ ease when conversing with anyone, anywhere, and at any time?
  • -Enjoys talking with others and have a desire to listen and learn?

Developing excellent conversation skills will make you a better communicator. If you’re willing to do the work, you can learn how to interact, motivate, and influence others with ease as a leader.

9 Tips to Fine-Tune Your Conversation Skills

  1. Be Present. Set aside all distractions before starting any conversation. When talking or listening, keep your focus on the other person. Think of them as a VIP, regardless of their title or position in the company. Whenever possible, move from behind your desk and sit in a chair close-by. When working remotely, keep your eyes on the screen. Start to notice how present you are or are not during conversations.
  2. Unleash Your Natural Curiosity. This is important when interacting with others. Instead of taking a righteous position, keep your mind open to hearing what others have to say, and create new solutions together.
  3. Allow Others to Communicate in Their Own Way. Expecting others to communicate with you in a particular way can be off-putting. You will miss out on hearing important information. Instead, allow them to communicate in a way that works for them. (To quickly understand their communication style, use the PXT Select.) Develop a thicker skin if you are easily offended. Learn how to ask questions to elicit the best from others instead of debating their POV.
  4. Have Compassion for Others’ Challenges. Be open to listening, and, when asked, provide appropriate advice. Do this without blaming them (or others) for the situation. Stay objective while being understanding of the situation. This is not a time for jokes or other humor. Be responsible for ensuring any excuses shared don’t derail a project, client relationship, or team effectiveness.
  5. Keep Your Calendar and Office Decluttered. You might ask why this matters during a conversation? It matters because a clean office is more inviting. Others feel more comfortable and are more open in what they have to say. If working remotely, remove wall art that could be offensive. Always minimize distractions. Otherwise, these can be become deterrents to having conversations and learning what you need to know in any situation.
  6. Pronounce Their Names Correctly and Use Their Preferred Names. Avoid using shortened versions (e.g., Jenny for Jennifer, etc.) or labeling others (e.g., superwoman, strong man, etc.). If you don’t remember the person’s name or don’t know how to pronounce it, ASK! “I’m not clear how to pronounce your name.” OR “I’ve met so many people recently. Can you remind me of your name?” Then, repeat the person’s name to their satisfaction.
  7. Ask Questions Without Sounding Like a Reporter. A good conversation puts others at ease. Learn how to have a conversation without first deep-diving into the who, what, when, where, and why. That’s what a reporter does. If you uncover a problem, be responsible for setting up the conversation before deep diving into it. “I’m hearing a potential issue in this conversation and need to clarify what I’m hearing. Is that OK?”
  8. Share Your Own Experiences. Team members want to know they are not alone in their challenges. When you share your experiences, start with the point of your story and end with the point to re-emphasize it. Remember, keep it short (about 1 minute) and stay focused on the topic. Most importantly, honor confidentiality.
  9. Keep an Open Mind. Stay focused on the topic at hand by taking a positive and healthy interest in their POV. Listen and respond to questions using straight talk. This encourages team members to stay at ease during any conversation. It’s how you discover what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker.  For more than 27 years, she has been an expert in guiding leaders to excel in business and beyond. Find out how effective you are as a communicator with all types of people. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. Don’t forget to listen to On the Air with Jeannette Seibly: It’s Your Time for Success on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

If you are underemployed or unemployed, it’s time to learn how to sell yourself and get that job, promotion, and/or pay raise! http://CareerBragging.com

Do you want to increase your business? Learn how with Be a Fabulous Podcast Guest (and get invited back!)http://SeibCo.com/workbooks/

 

There IS a Better Way to Improve Meetings

Delivering Bad NewsLeaders and team members want to be productive. Engaging team members during meetings create shorter discussions and better decisions. Productivity will naturally increase!

Ironically, the #1 challenge leaders face is engaging team members and keeping meetings productive. And as we all know, today there is the additional challenge of conducting remote meetings.

Consider, There Is a Better Way

Stop Focusing on PowerPoint presentations. Recently, Jeff Bezos banned PowerPoint at Amazon. They found meetings are now shorter and smarter…while costing nothing to implement! (Inc. 2020)

The presenter provides a written, readable, and stand-alone hard-copy document (1 to 3 pages). This requires the presenter to think through and communicate with greater precision.

Team members read, together and in silence, at the beginning of each meeting. This encourages leaders and team members to get on the same page faster and engage in more meaningful conversations.

By replacing PowerPoint with briefing documents, Bezos effectively increased company-wide management productivity by at least 25 percent.

But Wait! Before You Implement!

Understand Reading Levels

Before you jump in and hope to achieve the same dramatic results, remember people read and comprehend at different rates of speed.

According to a study of literacy rates by Wylie Communications, 34% of Americans read between a 4th– and 5th-grade level. 37% read between a 6th– and 8th-grade level. Savvy presenters focus on communicating at the lower grade levels. Yet, writing at a 4th-grade level can be difficult. That requires eliminating “big words” and “jargon” while simplifying numeric data and charts.

Also, leaders must manage the discussion process since team members can become difficult when others read too slow, ask too many questions, or misinterpret the data.

Develop Clear Communication Strategies

Communicating information on point and in simple terms requires practice. When writing, focus on your audience, include simple graphs and other documented data.

Use a readability indicator (Google for sites) to keep your ideas simple and on point. Some sites provide the grade level for the document. (The readability indicator for this article is 8th grade.) Keep in mind, your audience’s reading level will be lower than you think. (Center for Plain Language)

You may believe distributing information before the meeting can be helpful. It’s not. Team members can’t or won’t take the time to read it…and will fail to remember content and/or pretend to understand the data. This can further disengage the team.

Manage the #1 Saboteur

The problem of multi-tasking is still a major deterrent for productive meetings. It’s why some companies ban electronics during meetings!

Yet, the distractions of working remotely and poorly managed meetings continue to make it difficult to keep leaders and team members focused.

To keep people’s attention during my workshops, I use worksheets with key points listed and provide blank spaces to fill in data. This approach provides a structure for note-taking. It allows team members to absorb more information while keeping them engaged and focused on the topic. While some may resent this approach, it’s usually because they don’t want to stay present during the conversation.

Provide Training to Improve Communication Skills

Due to greater reliance on video conferencing, online chats, and phone calls, leaders and team members must step up and improve their communication skills.

Tips:

  • Listen with the intention of learning and ask questions to clarify. Non-verbal communication includes physical and auditory cues. Since 80% of communication is non-verbal, if you don’t develop the skills you will find it difficult to truly discern what they mean.
  • When speaking, start with the point you want to make.
  • Keep your ideas on-point and brief since attention spans are short. Avoid talking just to talk.
  • Use simple and easy to understand explanations and graphs.
  • Ensure everyone is being responsible for staying present during all conversations.
  • It’s important you and your team participate in various training opportunities to improve speaking, listening, and debate skills!

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker.  For more than 27 years, she has been an expert in guiding leaders to excel in business and beyond. This includes conducting engaging and productive meetings! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. Don’t forget to listen to On the Air with Jeannette Seibly: It’s Your Time for Success on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

Is your career at a stand-still? It’s time to learn how to sell yourself and get that job, promotion and/or pay raise! http://CareerBragging.com

Do you want to Be a Fabulous Podcast Guest (and get invited back!)? Learn how: http://SeibCo.com/workbooks/