Professional

How to Stop Struggling to Be an Effective Communicator

by

effective communicatorHave you ever noticed words coming out of your mouth that you vowed you would never say? To make matters worse, your tone sounds harsh or critical. Believe it or not, we often sound like our parents did when we were growing up. Imagine sounding like a critical parent when you’re speaking to your boss or teammates. Yikes!

Why Is Communication So Important?

When you fail to produce intended results and develop good working relationships, it is due to a poor communication style. Lack of respect, tone of voice, words used, and promises not kept (to name a few) hurt your effectiveness.

Instead of blaming others, take time to learn how to become an effective communicator.

8 Traits to Become a Savvy Communicator

  1. Change Beliefs. You must set aside your judgments and beliefs about how people should think, act, talk, dress … ad nauseam. Remember, simply using the right words or jargon will not prevent others from “hearing” what you believe or think about them (over 80 percent of communication is non-verbal!).
  2. Learn to Influence.  Instead of telling others what to do and stating how things “should” be done, ask for their input. Engage all team members by sharing the bigger picture. Now, allow them to handle the details on a project without micromanaging.
  3. Listen to Learn! Develop a positive attitude and authentic belief that others have great solutions! (Really, they do!) Listen and learn from them and incorporate their ideas. Give each person bragging credits.
  4. Treat People Right. Treat people with respect by listening and valuing them. Hang around effective communicators to learn how they do it. Take away insights that will encourage you to become an effective communicator. (Hint: Understand you will never communicate just like them!)
  5. Understand Your Style. Use qualified assessment tools to understand “why” you talk and work well with some people and not others. Armed with accurate insights into your thinking and behavior styles, work with a coach to improve your communication effectiveness with anyone, anywhere at any time.
  6. Pay Attention to Tone and Word Choices. The words and tone of voice you use tell a much deeper story than you may realize. Work with an experienced executive coach or licensed therapist to role-play any past and upcoming complex situations. These sessions can guide you on how and what to improve. As you become a more confident communicator, your style will naturally improve.
  7. Journal for Clarity. This is a great way to see, in black and white, your thoughts about people and/or situations. It gives you a chance to work through complex issues faster. Then, shred. NEVER send a letter spewing your upsets, no matter how justified you believe you are.
  8. Develop Confidence. Often, your innermost and deepest fear is that you are a fraud and everyone is going to find out. To awaken your “inner communicator talent,” get the book It’s Time to Brag! Business Edition, and complete the five steps to effectively communicate with confidence. Remember, there are no shortcuts!

Become an effective communicator by developing these 8 traits and enjoy the results!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2017-2019

Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people and results for the past 26 years. She has guided bosses and teams to excel in using powerful communication tools.  Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

Run more effective meetings by managing this #1 challenge:  http://ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6

Ghosting Won’t Make You a Winner

by

Ghosting.Winners.Communication.3

Ghosting in business is not an option. You’ve ghosted someone when you miss scheduled meetings, avoid difficult conversations, or fail to follow-up and follow-through on promises. This behavior and attitude will come back to haunt you regardless of your reasons why.

A sales rep became upset when members of his network group complained he had ghosted them. He had missed several scheduled meetings and failed to follow-through with people. Instead of apologizing and resolving the upsets, he ignored the whole thing and claimed he was too busy.

As a result of his ghosting, several members did business with a competitor. When he found out, he exclaimed, “All you had to do was call and tell me you wanted to buy something.”

The question he failed to ask himself, “Why would anyone want to do business with someone who ghosts them?”

Why Do People Ghost?

The short answer is, it seems simpler and easier than “trying” to have a conversation when you’re uncomfortable talking with others.

But, winners don’t ghost.

Winners face their fears and talk it out. They overcome limiting beliefs, such as poor communication and vocabulary skills, or disliking authority figures (e.g., bosses, hiring managers, etc.).

While ghosting provides momentary feelings of relief, these feelings won’t last. Unfortunately, those fears won’t go away! And, even worse, the people you ghost won’t forget you ghosted them!

Ghosting is not the formula for a winner!

6 Tips to Become a Powerful Communicator and Winner  

  1. Be Open to Learning. Remember, no one was born a powerful or experienced conversationalist. Put away the electronic distractions. Learn how to have meaningful and productive conversations. Take classes (e.g., Toastmasters, Landmark), practice mindfulness, talk it out and role-play. Hire a coach to guide you on how to talk through challenging situations. These reduce the need to ghost others.
  2. Practice Leads to Mastery. Like everything in life, practice helps you improve and become a master communicator. Remember, conversations will not always be fun, positive, or easy. It’s how you handle them that matters. Be curious. Don’t shy away from participating in team debates, offering ideas and opinions, and listening to what others are saying. Good communication skills are the marks of a winner.
  3. Stand Up and Show Up. Honor your commitments and meetings. Stop relying on excuses when you don’t feel like showing up. Always show up on time. Remember, the attitude of “I matter and you matter” creates winning conversations for your career and life.
  4. Be Responsible. If you want to improve the job offer, sales, or contract, don’t ghost. Only voice-to-voice communication can give you the winning results you want.
  5. Start with Good Questions. Winners start meetings by asking questions about the other person, their goals and challenges. When learning about others, you elicit better information and insights into how to help them. You will also discover true solutions and new ideas. Then, let them know how they can help you. This is a winning formula.
  6. Build Your Confidence through Self-Promotion. Read the book, It’s Time to Brag! Business Edition and complete the 5 amazing steps to sell yourself. These exercises are natural confidence builders. When you feel confident, you will feel comfortable communicating voice-to-voice. You will stop ghosting.

Practicing these 6 tips gives you the ability to stop ghosting, improve your communication skills, and become a winner.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2018-2019

Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people and results for the past 26 years. She has guided bosses and teams to excel in using powerful communication tools.  Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

15 signs you’re a great boss, even if you don’t feel it.

What Happens When Bosses Fail to Apologize?

by

Bosses.Apology.2An employee asked questions of her boss to resolve a critical distribution issue. He didn’t have the answers. She kept pressing him to get her the answers she needed until he left the meeting upset by her persistence. He ignored her requests to meet with him and refused to apologize for coming unprepared for the meeting. Thirty days later he fired her.

Many people fail to apologize for mistakes, misunderstandings, or the words they choose to use (e.g., profanity, mispronouncing someone’s name, using jargon incorrectly, etc.). Their words and actions can hurt relationships and negatively impact results.

Failure to apologize can create:

  • -Resentment
  • -Gossip
  • -Avoidance  behavior
  • -Snarky remarks
  • -Turnover
  • -Profitability
  • -Loss of customers, jobs, promotions, or pay increases
  • -The list is endless!

As a boss, you don’t have the luxury of not apologizing and making things right with employees, co-workers, vendors, customers, or even your boss. It’s your responsibility to set a positive example and create win-win-win outcomes.

Remember, your communication style either energizes or deflates your team. Win-win-win outcomes require learning a very important communication skill…how to genuinely apology.

6 Steps for a Genuine Apology

Always start with honesty, courage, and respect so you can stand up and extend the “olive branch.”

  1. Become present to what you said or the mistake you made. This may require journaling or talking with your coach to uncover the true problem.
  2. Offer “I’m sorry.” or “I apologize.” Both offers create the start of a healthy conversation. This must occur to get the problem resolved in a win-win-win manner.
  3. Listen to their response. If they are angry because you waited too long or you’ve humiliated them, you may not be present to the impact you caused. Listen and learn from their response before again offering an apology.
  4. Don’t defend. The situation happened. Being right or making them wrong won’t get the issue resolved or move the conversation forward. Listen and talk without defending yourself. (Catch yourself before excusing what happened with a, “Yeah, but.”)
  5. Ask what you can do to resolve it. What needs to happen to move forward? Ask for their opinion and input. If you don’t, the resentment will continue.
  6. Forgiveness works magic. Genuine apologies allow for you and them to let go of resentments. Then, true forgiveness is naturally possible.

Remember, all relationships have their upsets. As a boss, learning how to genuinely apologize is an important part of communication.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019

Managing people is one of the biggest challenges bosses face daily.  As an executive coach, Jeannette Seibly has been championing people and results for the past 26 years. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

Run more effective meetings by managing this #1 challenge:  http://ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6

 

6 Ways to Effectively Manage Difficult Top Performers

by

Manage Difficult Top PerformersAs a boss, managing top performers can be the biggest challenge you will face. While some top performers can be easy to work with, many can be difficult and will push anyone in their way to the edge.

Most of these top performers know they know their stuff. Since they believe others are less knowledgeable and less capable than they are, it taxes them to listen. Even listening to their boss can be a challenge, particularly when they don’t respect him or her!

If you are the boss of difficult top performers, learning how to manage these VIPs is important. It requires you keeping them engaged and growing.

If these difficult top performers are causing you sleepless nights, it’s time for you to improve your management skills. Not, get rid of them. (Remember, we love their results!) If you’re not willing to go the extra mile, consider a different job.

6 Ways to Improve Your Management Skills

  1. Address “issues” positively with straight talk. Top performers want to feel heard and valued! Unfortunately, they also create conflicts. Don’t avoid conflicts, bulldoze over them, or tell others “it’s the way it is.” This only creates animosity and more conflict! Instead, set a positive example by talking straight and listening to learn from them. Be open to new ideas since top performers have plenty of them!
  2. Engage these results-producing performers with challenges and new opportunities. Stay away from giving them busywork, which they are quick to spot and resent. A real challenge can look like this: transition a top sales producer to selling in a different market or selling a new product line. First, before transitioning them into a new role, assess the person for job fit with the new challenges and responsibilities. This is critical! A top performer’s skills may not transfer well from the old job to the new one (e.g., success in inside sales does not equate to success in outside sales). Remember, if you move them and they fail, they will leave, taking ideas, results, and other top performers with them.
  3. Expect good people skills. Too often, we overlook top performers’ interpersonal skills since they are top producers. The problem is they often create chaos and are typically lone-rangers. When there are relationship spats (and there will be), don’t step over or attempt to personally resolve them. Instead, expect them to reach a collaborative resolution within a set period of time.
  4. Adhere to systems and policies. Too often, difficult top performers believe they are exempt from following systems and adhering to policies. If you managing this, there will be a negative impact on others. Hold them accountable and responsible.
  5. Focus on developing tangible skills. Don’t manage their personalities. This bears repeating…do not manage their personalities! A qualified 360-degree feedback assessment is an invaluable guide on where to focus. Review the objective data to uncover leadership, communication, and project management skills that need improvement. Only address one or two areas at a time.
  6. Remember, money is not a motivator. While your difficult top performers may demand more and more money, higher salaries will not keep them or make them easier to work with. Find other ways of compensating them based upon results (e.g., perks, vacations, gift certificates, industry recognition, etc.).

©Jeannette Seibly, 2010-2019

Managing difficult top performers can be one of the most difficult challenges bosses face.  As an executive coach, Jeannette Seibly has been championing people and results for the past 26 years. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

 Run more effective meetings by managing this #1 challenge:  http://ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6

 

 

How to Overcome Poor Project Management and Bad Results

by

Project management resultsMany of my readers are not PMs for large complex projects (e.g., designing an airplane, IT, or other big projects). Yet, regardless of the size of your project, project management can be difficult for many people. If you want to achieve better outcomes, embrace doing the right things to improve your project results!

Did you know projects fail at an astonishing rate of more than 50% of the time? Many team members lament they’ve been on many projects and never saw a project succeed! (Harvard Business Review)

When you think of the millions wasted, this is a huge problem.

So, what’s missing when projects fail?

Good project management. “90% of teams believe a great project manager is critical to the outcome of a project. “(Oracle)

But, first, to be a great PM, you need to improve your project management skills; otherwise, you will fail to achieve intended results.

9 Signs of a Bad Project Manager

Which of these traits sound familiar?

  1. Procrastination. Missed deadlines, not available to answer questions, allow conflicts to escalate and fail to fulfill promises.
  2. Micromanager. Doesn’t trust the team to do it right and nitpicks how tasks are completed instead of focusing on how well they are completed.
  3. Pollyanna. Overly-optimistic and believes in the power of positivity to the point of ineffectiveness.
  4. Overly Critical. Nothing is ever right or good enough….waiting for something to go wrong…it becomes a self-fulling prophecy.
  5. Know-It-All. When you think no one knows the answers better than you do, you will sabotage even the best teams.
  6. Egotistical. Concerned about looking bad, and focused solely on your own future promotions and bonuses with no consideration for your team.
  7. Fear of Conflict. Doesn’t have the skills and avoids involvement in tough conversations out of fear of being disliked.
  8. Allows the Creep Factor. Overlooks poor project design, unresolved kinks, and fails to manage difficult team members.
  9. Focuses Solely on Scoreboard. Only focuses on the end-results and fails to manage the process of how to achieve intended results.

 9 Ways to Become a Results-Producing Project Manager

  1. Owns the Project and Intended Results. Timelines and milestones will be missed if you do not own the project and results. Factually address any “elephants” in the way to avoid having them trample over the team’s results.
  2. Improves Communication Processes. Communication is essential to good project management. Ensure everyone that needs to know has access to all updates.
  3. Shares the Credit. Acknowledge individual and group contributions to build team comradery.
  4. Manages Swoopers. When your boss swoops in to fix and motivate team members, it usually demotivates the team. Keep the boss apprised with a cc: on important items. Consult with the boss 1:1 if there is a major issue or setback.
  5. Develops Team Decision-making Process. Side decisions, 100% consensus or democratic voting will disengage the team. Build alignment through persuasive listening, which requires training. This process may take longer, but, will save you a lot of time and money in the long-run.
  6. Provides Resources. While many projects have kinks, pitfalls, and saboteurs, develop resilience and resourcefulness to work through them. Engage the team in true brainstorming to answer: Who, What, Where, Why, and When… before asking How?
  7. Selects the Right Team. There should be a mix of talent and skills to design the project and executive the plan. Non-core team members should only be included on a short-term basis.
  8. Honors Risk Management. To manage risks, use experts in finance, IT, legal, people, operations, sales, and marketing to get correct and usable information.
  9. Holds the Team Accountable. Manage the plan, budget, timeline, process, and outcomes, not individual personalities! To ensure team accountability, be open and flexible to for positive results.

When you embrace these 9 critical elements to become a results-producing PM, your projects will achieve intended results. During the process, you will also champion new benchmarks for future teams.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019

Being a results-producer can be one of the most difficult challenges bosses face. Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people for the past 26 years. She has guided bosses and teams to produce unprecedented results. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

How do you make team meetings effective, fun and productive? Get your 10 tips: http://ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6

Want to Improve Your Results? Expand Your Vision

by

expand your vision.better results.2Bosses and leaders exist to maximize results. This often unwritten job responsibility includes “approaching problems through a lens of opportunity.” (Forbes, 2013)

The ability to expand perspectives and design the right game plan will improve your results. It requires expanding the lens of your vision to create what your results could be. Embracing and engaging in this approach is a career and results changer.

What Gets in the Way?

Many bosses rely on linear thinking. From their POV, they find it easier and less work when they do what they’ve always done. They believe that change can rock the boat and hurt their upward mobility and paycheck. Unfortunately, these narrow points-of-view cause bosses to miss out on new opportunities and promotions! Remember, doing the same old things the same old way will disengage teams, hinder customer satisfaction, and turn the bottom line red.

Don’t miss another opportunity to improve your game plan by sharpening your vision and expanding your results!

6 Ways to Develop an Expanded Vision

Be patient. Developing an expanded vision take years of disciplined practice to master the ability to fine-tune your results. To achieve mastery faster, use the PXTS Leadership Report. It covers the six essential, time-proven leadership traits (Wiley, 2019) needed to achieve intended results.                                        

Commitment. It starts with you. You must practice broadening your awareness and POV. When you have grandiose and unrealistic expectations, it will limit the quality of your results. Once you implement your game plan you will hit snags, and, at times, a concrete wall. Keep your vision focused on the game plan without changing the intended results! This honors your commitment to work past these snafus.

Get to the Root Cause. Linear thinking bosses fail to get to the heart of the issue and continue hoping for the best results. Non-linear thinking bosses also fail by relying (and hoping) on the helicopter approach. But, hope is not a strategy! Use persuasive listening skills and be open to discovering the root cause. Armed with this expanded vision, you can now produce amazing results.

Develop True Brainstorming Processes. Most companies do a horrible job of brainstorming. They rely on the first good idea or succumb to the boss’s vision of how it should be. Write down ALL ideas, no matter what they are, before discussing the pros and cons. Many times we laugh or criticize off-the-wall ideas. Yet, these can ignite team members to create a broader vision and build expanded results.

Get Real. Many goals sound great on paper or in your head. Yet, your observations of what will work may not work inside your company. This is true even if the idea worked for a competitor. To combat this, ask questions and listen to others (e.g., team members, functional areas in the company, and 1 or 2 business advisors). Be select when asking the right people for input and observations. Remember, too many opinions will muddy the perspectives of what to do next.

For example, have you ever seen postings on a social media site asking for help? Usually, they will receive 10+ ideas. Then, inevitably, the people posting the request express being confused, overwhelmed, and not knowing what to do next. Too many opinions will cloud your lens making your vision murky. Doing it alone will not work either.

Avoid Circular Logic. This is the biggest hurdle in achieving your intended results. Instead of straight talk, you hear what you want to hear and muddle your discernment of reality. Clarity is crucial. Use an experienced executive coach to guide you through the inevitable complex issues and confusing situations you will face.

For example, your intended results impact employees. Yet, you fail to include them during the design, planning, and implementation stages. Your excuse, “I don’t have time.” This will get you in trouble. You can either take some time now or take a lot of time later. (Think, hours vs. months or years.) Always remember, employees can embrace your game plan or silently thwart your envisioned results!

To expand the lens of possibilities, expand the direction of your envisioned results.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019

Being a great boss requires working through complex issues and confusing situations. Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people for the past 26 years. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

Has your game plan by thwarted by your team? Want to know why?  http://ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6

6 Simple Ways to Have Productive Conversations

by

productive conversations“Take responsibility for shifting unproductive conversations into positive ones.” Jeannette Seibly

Imagine having conversations that prevent others from sabotaging your results.

The one simple way to do this is to stop unproductive conversations.

This saves time, money, energy, and relationships.

Non-productive conversations focus on gossip, ongoing conflicts, and the news. These types of conversations leave you feeling un-energized or drained after a team meeting or 1:1 conversation.

Productive conversations are focused on resolving current issues, addressing how potential solutions impact the future, and creating new possibilities for results.

Take Responsibility for Transforming Your Conversations

  1. Use Basic Meeting Tactics. Have an agenda, create minutes, and set up a communication portal with easy access for all team members. As the facilitator or boss, stay on schedule without sacrificing the need to resolve issues (new and old). Remember, for productive outcomes, you need to manage logistical and people for virtual and group meetings. Attend a workshop or use an executive coach to develop facilitation skills, instead of using trial-and-error.
  2. Have 1:1 Meetings. The fastest way to cause unproductive conversations (e.g., side conversations) is to use the full team meeting to handle issues that only impact a few. Instead, handle these types of issues 1:1 or in small group meetings. Share with the team the results of these meetings, where appropriate. Relationship issues should be kept confidential.
  3. Stop Mind-Reading. No one is a mind-reader. Share your expectations out loud and clearly. Reinforce them by repeating the vision and the goal(s) of the project each meeting. Don’t assume anything.
  4. Train to Handle Conflicts. Disagreements, upsets, and conflicts must be addressed immediately. If they aren’t, they will grow from a molehill into a mountain! Unresolved team conflicts will disrupt the meeting due to sniping, barbs and other unproductive comments.
  5. Embrace Tough Conversations. Yes, I said embrace. These are way too easy to avoid, and will cost you the most time and money! Address the “elephant in the room.” Use the straight-talk approach by starting the conversation with the facts. Allow each person to share his/her thoughts and brainstorm as a team to resolve it. Share your concerns last and make sure everyone is really listening.
  6. Engage in Strategic Conversations. Productive conversations focus more on facts and the creation of strategies for win-win-win outcomes. Be candid about the strengths and weaknesses of ideas after brainstorming has been completed. Align on a plan instead of relying on a consensus. Alignment takes away a lot of the unproductive, manipulative comments and self-focused recommendations during conversations.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019

Being an effective communicator as a boss is the #1 key to your success. It can be difficult to know when to stand up and speak up. Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people for the past 26 years. She has guided bosses and teams to excel. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

Is your team over budget and missing their milestones? Learn why. http://ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6

 

How Can I Be a Boss When I Hate Managing People?

by

Boss.Hate Managing People.SeiblyI have many clients who don’t enjoy and actually hate working with people. After working with me, some have grown so much they now excel at working with people. Others have made job changes that don’t require managing others…and are now successful in their careers. Some became entrepreneurs, believing it would prevent them from having to deal with managing people. Yet, they found that in order to make money, they needed acceptable people skills.

Whether you like managing people or not, good people skills are critical for success.

Managing people can be confusing:

  • -They say one thing and do something different.
  • -They get upset with you for telling them the truth.
  • -They ignore your advice and do it their own way…to the detriment of others.
  • -They lie about how difficult it is to work with you in order to further their own career.

Gordon is a manager in a technology company and has 10 team members that report to him. When there is a problem, he uses the ostrich approach and only gets involved when it’s absolutely unavoidable. He pits team members against one another by not filtering his comments. He says he detests chaos, but, actually thrives in it because he can swoop in to save the project and client.

After hearing many complaints, Gordon’s boss mandated he works with a coach. At first, he tried to manipulate the coach into believing he had the wrong team members. After all, it wasn’t his fault people were difficult to work with. But, the coach had a lot of coaching experience and started the process with a qualified job fit assessment on Gordon.

The assessment results showed Gordon he didn’t like managing people. He remarked, “True, but, there is no other way of making more money and landing a better position in the company.”

Over the next several months, he listened, became coachable, and used the advice the coach gave him to handle specific situations. He enrolled (and actively participated) in “soft skill” workshops. These built his confidence and competence. He still did not enjoy managing people, but, he learned how to effectively work with them and through them to achieve the intended results. A year later, he was promoted to the director level.

What Can You Do When You Hate Managing People?

  1. Clarify. Do you actually dislike working with people OR do you lack the training and experience to do so? To gain a realistic POV, use a qualified job-fit assessment. Using objective data will help you understand why you feel the way you do. It can also help you understand your team members and gain insight into how to improve your working relationships.
  2. Resolve Past Circumstances. When past issues have not been resolved (work, personal, and family), they’ve not been forgotten, even if you don’t consciously remember them. Take the time to talk out concerns (e.g., trust) and gain a healthier perspective by working with a therapist.
  3. Take Part in Soft Skills Training. Participate in workshops that focus on experiential processes, not concepts or theories. These will provide breakthroughs in how to work effectively with and manage people like a boss. Areas to focus on include: conflict resolution, active listening, building alignment, creating win-win-win outcomes, etc. As the boss, you probably will not love managing people, but, you will develop an effective management style over time.
  4. Hire an Executive Coach. And, find an industry mentor. Each can help you work through confusing situations and political relationships. As the boss, the keys are to listen and be coachable.
  5. Focus on the Project and Results. Focus on empowering your team. As the boss, provide clear goals, budgets, milestones, and expectations for projects. Manage according to milestones and provide needed resources for the team. Don’t manage people’s personalities. When conflicts occur due to team members being difficult, personally resolve it or bring in a facilitator. Remember, it does not mean you’ve failed when you bring in an outside executive coach to resolve a major issue. It actually makes you look successful.

 ©Jeannette Seibly, 2019

Being a great boss requires working through complex issues and confusing situations. Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people for the past 26 years. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

Is your team over budget and missing their milestones? Do you know why? http://ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6

 

Why Do I Make the Same Costly Mistakes?

by

Avoid Costly Mistakes“Mistakes will continue to happen if you don’t learn from them.” Jeannette Seibly

As a coach, I’m asked great questions.

Recently, one of the best was, “Why do people continue to make the same mistakes?”

There is no one right answer to this question.

Here’s a story of someone that didn’t learn from her costly mistakes.

Shelby spent $12,000 to publish her first book. The process was not easy, despite her book coach, Bert, telling her it wouldn’t be hard. The first mistake was when Bert assigned Nolan to do the layout of Shelby’s book before the manuscript was professionally edited. Costs mounted due to lots of changes, frustrating everyone involved. Shelby’s second mistake was expecting the sales of her book to occur without any marketing. Bert had failed to outline a marketing plan with her. A year later, when she published the second book, Shelby repeated the same mistakes leaving her frustrated and broke.

Understand Why Mistakes Repeat

Ego trumps objectivity. We want easy and immediate answers, believing if we’ve been burnt once we way too smart to be burnt again!

Intuition isn’t always right. Mistakes repeat when you confuse intuition with emotional feelings about someone or something.

For example, you’re driving down I25 in Colorado from Denver to Castle Rock and are about to pass the Castle Pines exit. Suddenly, a little voice says, “Exit Here!” Your ego chimes in saying, “I’m in a hurry and can’t be late by taking the scenic route.”  Several miles later you find yourself stuck in traffic due to a major accident that closed the highway. That’s intuition. There often is no immediate logic when intuition speaks.

Rely on others’ experiences. Others’ experiences are not yours! Someone else’s career path or life choices worked for them, but, won’t necessarily work for you.

Duped by charlatans. Yes, they exist! If you believe you cannot be duped, check social media posts and feeds!  It’s very common.

8 Tips to Avoid Repeating the Same Mistakes

  1. Clarify, “What’s the end result I need or desire?” This is a critical and often overlooked step. Create three non-negotiables to avoid mistakes. For example, what are three must-haves to accept this job offer (e.g., health insurance, pay, job title, job responsibilities, etc.)?
  2. Self-Talk. Negative talk about yourself will diminish inner confidence and increase the likelihood of mistakes re-occurring. Learn self-promotion to gain true confidence from your past accomplishments. This creates a positive foundation to avoid repeating mistakes.
  3. Awareness. In other words, we make a difference. Become emotionally and socially present when interacting with others and watch the difference you will make.
  4. Trust Yourself. Seek objective information and stop relying on your biased mental chatter. Talk with no more than one or two confidants. Asking for more than three opinions will normally leave you confused and stuck.
  5. Work with Your Executive Coach. Confidentially talk out complex issues or confusing situations with your coach. This support will objectively uncover your blind spot(s). Then, take immediate actions without over-analyzing them! (If you are over-analyzing, it’s just your ego in overdrive.)
  6. Read Biographies. Many successful people (yes, Steve Jobs, Martin Luther King, Michael Jordan – to mention a few well-known and successful people) have failed and made mistakes. You’re not alone! Learn from them.
  7. Become Friends with Your Calculator. Many people profess to hate math…yet, numbers can help you make better decisions. Take a refresher financial and/or math class. To avoid mistakes, work with a financial business consultant to double check your numbers and logic.
  8. Create New Habits. Ask questions and deep dive to collect objective data about products or services. Don’t forget to have a real attorney read any contracts before you sign them!

A couple of questions to get you started:

-How are your services/products different?

-How much money is expected up front? When is the balance due? (Hint: pay by credit card for faster refunds.)

-What have been your successes?

-What is your biggest mistake? Why? What did you learn?

By using the 8 tips above, you will learn to avoid repeating the same costly mistakes over and over again.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019

Being a great boss requires working through complex issues or confusing situations to avoid costly mistakes. Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people for the past 26 years. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

Are you a difficult team member? Take our quiz and find out why! ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6

How to Rock the Boat for Better Results

by

Success.Failure

Making a commitment to stand up and speak up can rock the boat with any team. It requires courage and an ability to take have the right, sometimes, tough conversations to produce better results.

The challenge is not everyone will agree with you; and, not everyone will support you, even if you are correct.

So, it begs the question, “Why bother?”

Ask yourself, “if I’m not willing to rock the boat, who will?”

The underlying problem is fear and it creates the ostrich approach.

Some excuses are:

  • “I’m uncomfortable saying anything.”
  • “No one will like me or listen to me if I say anything.”
  • “If it doesn’t bother me, it shouldn’t bother you.”

Taking the ostrich approach ignores obvious matters and pretends they don’t exist. But, when problems do exist, avoidance doesn’t support the intended results.

Successful teams know that being clear of the costs of poor outcomes and making the commitment to rock the boat will produce better results.

It Takes Courage

Ignoring an issue until it can no longer be avoided is not a good practice. Provide training on how to conduct effective meetings (group and virtual). Use an executive coach to get the team unstuck and guide the creation of viable solutions. Encourage each and every team member to stand up and speak up. These will build communication, trust, accountability, and amazing results.

Rock the Boat Responsibly

  1. Voice your concerns in a positive tone. Remember, some team members will be unwilling to listen and consider there is a problem. Be prepared to review the objective facts before addressing less-factual concerns. Be respectful when addressing differing POVs.
  2. Brainstorm solutions with the team. Focus on creating win-win-win outcomes by brainstorming solutions with the team, not relying on one person for the answers. Don’t jump on selecting the first idea that resonates with the team. Explore ideas by taking the time to ask the right questions and deep dive into who, what, when, where, why, before addressing how. Use persuasive listening techniques to build alignment before revising the plan or project.
  3. Implement changes immediately. After alignment has occurred, it’s time to implement the change immediately. Remember, change can be difficult for some people and waiting will have people get cold feet. Make sure the person responsible for implementing the change has the interest and ability to do so. If there is a problem, immediately set up a meeting to talk with them. Before offering solutions, address: What has been done? What do they view as the next step? What, if anything, has stopped them from taking the new action?

©Jeannette Seibly, 2017-2019

Being proactive as a boss is one of the most difficult challenges you will face. It’s difficult to know when to stand up and speak up. Jeannette Seibly has been an award-winning champion for people for the past 26 years. She has guided bosses and teams to excel. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results.

Is your team over budget and missing their milestones? Why? Get your answers: http://ow.ly/Maox30oTBr6