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Fear of Failure Vs. Fear of Success — What’s the “dif” for my career?

The difference simply depends upon your mindset.  Are you more likely to think in negative terms (e.g., failure) or positive terms (e.g., success)?  Failure is on the same continuum as success.  Fear is used to mask the reality of what you’d truly love to do, be or have, and prevents us from taking responsibility for our career choices.

When people are in low paying jobs where they are miserable, and use their kids’ expenses (kids is the “politically correct” excuse right now) or other excuses for not hiring a career coach to get a much better paying job that they will love, it is a reflection of them not taking responsibility for their career.

We all have a committee of one in our head (aka ego) that loves to chatter.  This chatter reflects conscious and unconscious thought patterns, and reinforces the limiting fears and concerns.  Or, it supports the illusion that you will have a great career someday when other things change.  This keeps us from becoming responsible for our chatter and pursuing a great career: work smarter, have financial freedom, and realize our dreams now. 

If we were to delve slightly deeper into our chatter, we would find that the fear is:

  • normally a fear of the unknown,
  • not being in control of a situation,
  • being right that others are wrong, or
  • avoiding someone else’s poor opinion of us.

 If we were to delve slightly further, you would find that the true fear is:

  • not saying the right thing in an interview,
  • not having your ideas heard,
  • others not making the right decisions on your behalf,
  • not being clear about your career direction,
  • effectively dealing with difficult bosses, employees or co-workers, and/or
  • making difficult ethical decisions.

The point is that you need to get real about your true fear(s).  When you can specifically state what you fear in your job or having a career that you enjoy, then you can make a positive and profound difference.

Why?  What you focus on will expand.  If you focus on fear, it will consume you, hinder any forward movement and impede your decision-making.  If you focus on your goals and move forward with a specific plan in place, confidence will replace fear.

Steps for Positive Results:

1)     Declare a positive mantra.  This will start you thinking in a different manner.  Without doing so, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to move on to Step Two since your excuses are designed to prevent you from changing anything.

2)     Hire a coach.  WHY?  Usually you will make it harder than it needs to be to achieve results on your own.  We inevitably get in our own way.  Having a coach will support your forward progress to keep you on a positive track.

3)    Design a results oriented goal and focused action plan to move forward, and fine-tune it with your coach.  This will support your results by acknowledging your achievements and reinforcing the positive expansion of them.

 (c)Jeannette L. Seibly, 2009

 Jeannette Seibly is a nationally recognized coach, who has helped thousands of people work smarter, have financial freedom, and realize their dreams now.  Along the way, she created three millionaires.  You can contact her:  JLSeibly@gmail.com OR http://SeibCo.com

HIRING MYTHS — What you don’t know can cost you!

The challenge and cost of a hiring mistake is one of the most-discussed, most frustrating, and most misunderstood problems that our businesses can face.

If you do not know what a single hiring mistake is costing you, take the annual salary for the position and multiply by 2.5.  This number represents productivity loss, recruiting and hiring cost, training cost, liability, unemployment, and the other 101 hidden costs that we usually try not to think of, or may be aware of, when we lose an employee.   

Hiring mistakes often begin with our believing in “hiring truths” only to find that in reality they are “hiring myths!”   When we hire someone who does not fit the job, we have already begun an almost inevitable course that will end with failure—and another hiring casualty.

Myth #1:        We can hire anyone to do anything.

We believe in the illusion that we can coach, train and motivate anyone to do anything.  Unfortunately we don’t live in an ideal world.  People come into our companies with their own “version” of how to do something and whether or not they will.  Sometimes we can train them in “our” way; many times we can provide surface training.  It’s what’s underneath (a.k.a. core behaviors, thinking styles and occupational interests) that can keep them from doing the job as it needs to be done.

Myth #2:        I’ve always relied on my gut.

While using your “gut” or “intuition” can provide insight, it’s far from a perfect science.  Usually, our gut feelings are based upon past experiences; we’re trying not to hire the same (unsuitable) person we did before, or find someone as great as the person that just left for a better job.  People are like ice bergs: You only see the tip, the part they wish to show us.  However, we miss the 75% that is covered up that will make or break their success in our business.

Myth #3:        We simply hire and fire until we find the “right one.”

In the meantime, the other “right” ones have left!   The cost of personnel has gone up, quality and customer relations have declined, and your bottom line has been severely impacted! 

Myth #4:        Any assessment tool will do.

Why don’t more of us use assessments to improve our hiring (and lower turnover)? Part of the answer lies in lack of education on the topic—not many of us have even attended a single seminar on use of scientific assessment tools. Part lies in reluctance to spend any money on new processes. Part of it, frankly, is the already overwhelming load we place on the people who are doing the hiring—they are untrained.

Fortunately, the science of assessments has produced increasingly useful and valid tools. While no assessment, or even a combination of assessments, guarantees success, the same study showed that use of personality, abilities, interests, and job matching measures can raise your success rate to 75% or better.

© Jeannette L. Seibly and John W. Howard, 2006

 Jeannette Seibly, Principal of SeibCo — your partner in developing work and career strategies for selection, results and growth, We improve your bottom line!   JLSeibly@comcast.net 

John W Howard, Ph.D., owner of Performance Resources, Inc. helps businesses of all sizes increase their profits by reducing their people costs. His clients hire better, fire less, manage better, and keep their top performers.  jwh@prol.ws

Company Ethics – Walking the Talk

“Integrity is how you act when no one is watching, when no one knows what you’re doing. It’s always telling the truth, clearing up misconceptions or partial truths. It’s never knowingly hurting anybody or anything. Integrity is keeping our commitments.”– Steven W. Vannoy

Integrity and ethics provide the legal, financial, environmental, safety, community and customer relations, and human resources fabric of a business. These decisions naturally and profoundly impact the future of the enterprise, and the future of its employees, not just the present situation.

Most companies claim that their “Number One” asset is their people, yet spend more time and effort in buying copiers, printers, or laptops than on selecting, managing and developing people! It is a common and unfortunate ethical disconnect with their stated mission and values.

Your employees, and the manner in which they are treated, are clear reflections of your company’s ethics and integrity. “Walking the talk” includes your hiring, selection, and leadership development practices, and how you value your employees.

Personal integrity focuses on individual values, and is reflected in the way each person handles his/her own life. In a healthy business environment, professional integrity must also be considered. This requires deeper and broader examination, since decisions and actions impact a range of others (employees, stockholders, investors, customers, suppliers, vendors). In the past decade, the public has seen the disastrous effects of questionable professional ethics. Consider the costs of integrity deficits: “It won’t matter as long as no one finds out.” “The numbers can be made to reflect what I’m saying.” “We can cover the losses before they become public.” Ongoing court cases remind us how deeply such ethical lapses can get leaders, and employees, into life-destroying trouble.

Ethics and integrity are a two edged sword; positive values pay off. Recently, an association awarded a business owner “Leader of the Year.” Subsequently, they discovered he didn’t qualify. (The business owner let them know, after finding out his employees had submitted the data.) The dilemma, since it had already been made public: “What do we do?” They acknowledged the business owner for his honesty (his business increased), and then awarded the correct person her award. Their members use this as an example of how to handle mistakes with integrity and honesty.

When employers hire people, they also hire the person’s personal values. Merging corporate culture into personal ethics can be complicated if the two don’t match. Assessing prospective employees for integrity and ethics should be an important step in selection. Appropriate assessments can help clarify for business and candidate, how well they will fit within your company–and how happy each of you will be with the match.

If you are a business leader, one easy and elementary example of integrity is being on time for meetings. If you’re continually late, others will believe these meetings are of little importance, no matter what you say to the contrary. (Think, you’re not “walking the talk.”) Another example is failing to return phone calls after you’ve left a message on your voice mail indicating that you return all calls within 48 hours. Do these seem unimportant? Remember, exceptions and inconsistencies loom large to those around you.

When employees, and customers, are at odds with a company’s ethical standards and policies, they see it as a direct reflection on management.

Ethical leaders take the pulse of how others see them: Are they competent in communications, problem solving, planning, implementation, human relations? Are they perceived as fair, ethical, honest? Multirater assessments, executive coaching, and valid assessments of strengths and weaknesses help insure that these pulse-takings are grounded in reality.

Ethical organizations take time to communicate and reinforce their corporate values consistently, and clearly. Ethics and integrity are incorporated into daily meetings and dealings with others. They steer a course that is above reproach, even if unpopular. They do what they say they will do, at the promised time. They work hard to select and hire people with personal integrity, which fits well with their business integrity.

The cost of the alternative: A candidate went through the interview process with a business, who promised to contact her regarding their decision within two weeks. Two weeks came and went; no phone calls, nor were calls returned to the applicant when she initiated contact. The candidate, being of an enterprising nature, went to work for one of their clients. A few months later, her new employer was selecting vendors for a highly desirable contract. Not surprisingly, the first business was not the selected supplier. When asked why, the former applicant gave a simple reason: If you cannot make a simple phone call to a potential employee, how will you handle more difficult issues ethically, and with integrity?

Remember, highly ethical companies “walk the talk!”

© Jeannette L. Seibly & John W. Howard, 2006

Jeannette Seibly, Principal of SeibCo — your partner in developing work and career strategies for selection, results and growth, we improve your bottom line! JLSeibly@gmail.com 

John Howard, Ph.D., owner of Performance Resources, Inc. helps businesses of all sizes increase their profits by reducing their people costs. His clients hire better, fire less, manage better, and keep their top performers. jwh@prol.ws

 

Every Association’s Major Concern: Working with Difficult People

It seems every association has at least one: a difficult person. For the executive director and Board, it takes a special set of skills to deal with that person effectively. Failure to do so can create more than one, and even lead to an epidemic of difficult people.

Why do associations encounter this particular challenge? Most association boards and committees are selected from membership. They are generally unpaid, volunteer positions. Many companies take advantage of association membership, sending their rising stars and good managers to work on boards and committees with the intent of making a community or industry difference. Often, it improves the participant’s leadership skills, savvy and experience. It’s one of the fastest ways for a person to develop their people skills – or demonstrate their deficiencies.

As executive director or board president, you may look at the prospective incumbent as an external challenge and ask, “How can I work effectively with difficult people?” A better first question might be to ask yourself “What are some of the key issues that we need to address internally that can prevent people from becoming difficult to work with?”

Suggestion 1: Orientation

Remember that perception is reality and “being difficult”  exists in the eye of the beholder. Usually, people are perceived as difficult when they are unaware of or unsure how to properly utilize systems and structures. Unfortunately, many associations do not adequately train new board and committee members, citing the common “shortage of time factor.” They also do not refresh and remind returning members about how to work with one another. Even the most minor of conflicts can create a potential problem through misunderstanding, and can become very time consuming.

Set up an orientation process for all Board members. Develop a program that will address how the Board works together, including information on procedures, agreements, issues pending, as well as governance protocol. Be sure the information is sent in written form before the session, with sufficient time for busy people to read and process before their orientation session. Then, review key points, and include exercises for each person to get to know others and have some fun – people learn better in an interactive process. As a bonus, include an assessment to help people clarify their own inherent strengths and weaknesses when working with others, and clarify for themselves, and others, situations that might cause them to be perceived as a difficult team member.

Suggestion 2: Integration

Appoint an experienced board member to mentor each new board member, and ask the pair to meet regularly for at least a few months. Encourage (or require) all Board members to attend all regularly scheduled association events. This helps keep them current on issues important to members, upcoming industry or professional changes, why prospective members may be hesitating to join, and potential opportunities for improvement.

Suggestion 3: Communication

Usually, when you have a new Board member, some of the communication styles the group took for granted will no longer work. Changes in people mean changes in communication style, and any change may get in the way of messages being heard and understood. A reality check will answer the question, “Is this working for everyone?”

If members talk over others or a leader cuts people short, the group may be headed for trouble. A new member (who may be trying to share an idea or ask a question) may be offended. Often, they will take that information back to their company. Presto! Someone is now perceived as “difficult to work with.”  Perception rules the day.

While it’s critical to pay attention to your agenda and timetable during a meeting, remember that a primary consideration for people working on the Board is that they wish to contribute by being heard and respected. Usually, people depend upon the communication style of the other Board members as an indicator of those values. When respect is lacking, people may challenge others to see just where they stand – the genesis of a “difficult person.” To assess your own Board’s strength, ask: Do Board members come to meetings willingly, or do you have to persuade them?

In one instance, a newly elected board president was offended when a new board member indicated that it wasn’t appropriate to be cut off. The new president stated, “It’s not personal. I simply needed to stay on track with our agenda.” The new president was insecure about her ability to run a Board meeting and hid behind “Robert’s Rules of Order” as her excuse for not taking the time to truly listen to the new member and move concerns forward. Unfortunately, the conflict led to the new board member being perceived as a “difficult” person. This leads to resentment, and individuals and their respective companies questioning the value of their membership, and their investment of time and dollars.

 Suggestion 4: Build your reputation by handling the “elephants”

Not handling issues as they arise, or choosing to handle them by not talking about them, will eventually catch up with any organization. Those who either avoid the issue or insist on resolving it can be perceived as being difficult. The “elephant in the room” may not be an easy issue to address. Some may be in denial that the issue exists, and others may have very different opinions about what the real issue is. However, if everyone’s opinion is heard and everyone is truly listening, it’s amazing how utilizing “persuasive listening skills” can make a significant impact on moving an organization forward, and effectively resolving virtually any issue. Simple listening can counter the perception of someone being “difficult”.

One large association, many years ago, discovered at the last minute they were about to make the huge mistake of presenting an award to a person not eligible to receive it. They were in a quandary as to what to do, yet each person’s opinions were sought before a decision was made. They ultimately gave the award to the correct person. It was a hard decision with potentially significant ramifications; but it has not been mentioned since – because the potential “elephant” was handled effectively.

Suggestion 5: Handle change gracefully

Any effort to change can be a challenge when people wish to hang onto the past. Often, they understood how to use the old system, make it work, and ensure their company received the greatest benefit. To help association members understand how to incorporate changes, take time to get everyone on the same page. Provide background information supporting the need for change. “Sound like a parrot” by delivering a consistent message. Resolve any misunderstandings or lack of clarity as people voice their concerns or complaints. Don’t wait for them to be viewed as “difficult.”

What if all of these suggestions have been implemented, and someone is still considered difficult to work with?

 It’s time for with the executive director or Board president, and possibly another trusted Board member, to talk directly with the “difficult” person. Openly and positively hear what he or she has to say. At this point, you may find that this person may not be a good fit with the Board if his/her commitments are very different than the Board’s. If that is the case, make it a win-win by providing the opportunity for the Board member to resign. Make a public thank you for the person’s contributions, and move on. If all parties involved decide to keep the member on the Board, put together a plan to ensure success for everyone.

Summary

Associations face special challenges when it comes to filling important roles in their organizations. By creating a plan and taking a few simple steps to make sure the dynamics of the organization are being handled correctly, you can avoid falling into the trap of contributing to the creation of difficult people.

© Jeannette L. Seibly & John W. Howard, 2006

Jeannette L. Seibly, Principal of SeibCo — your partner in developing  work and career strategies for selection, results and growth, We improve your bottom line!   JLSeibly@gmail.com 

John W. Howard, Ph.D., owner of Performance Resources, Inc. helps businesses of all sizes increase their profits by reducing their people costs. His clients hire better, fire less, manage better, and keep their top performers.  jwh@prol.ws