Fear of Failure Vs. Fear of Success — What’s the “dif” for my career?

The difference simply depends upon your mindset.  Are you more likely to think in negative terms (e.g., failure) or positive terms (e.g., success)?  Failure is on the same continuum as success.  Fear is used to mask the reality of what you’d truly love to do, be or have, and prevents us from taking responsibility for our career choices.

When people are in low paying jobs where they are miserable, and use their kids’ expenses (kids is the “politically correct” excuse right now) or other excuses for not hiring a career coach to get a much better paying job that they will love, it is a reflection of them not taking responsibility for their career.

We all have a committee of one in our head (aka ego) that loves to chatter.  This chatter reflects conscious and unconscious thought patterns, and reinforces the limiting fears and concerns.  Or, it supports the illusion that you will have a great career someday when other things change.  This keeps us from becoming responsible for our chatter and pursuing a great career: work smarter, have financial freedom, and realize our dreams now. 

If we were to delve slightly deeper into our chatter, we would find that the fear is:

  • normally a fear of the unknown,
  • not being in control of a situation,
  • being right that others are wrong, or
  • avoiding someone else’s poor opinion of us.

 If we were to delve slightly further, you would find that the true fear is:

  • not saying the right thing in an interview,
  • not having your ideas heard,
  • others not making the right decisions on your behalf,
  • not being clear about your career direction,
  • effectively dealing with difficult bosses, employees or co-workers, and/or
  • making difficult ethical decisions.

The point is that you need to get real about your true fear(s).  When you can specifically state what you fear in your job or having a career that you enjoy, then you can make a positive and profound difference.

Why?  What you focus on will expand.  If you focus on fear, it will consume you, hinder any forward movement and impede your decision-making.  If you focus on your goals and move forward with a specific plan in place, confidence will replace fear.

Steps for Positive Results:

1)     Declare a positive mantra.  This will start you thinking in a different manner.  Without doing so, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to move on to Step Two since your excuses are designed to prevent you from changing anything.

2)     Hire a coach.  WHY?  Usually you will make it harder than it needs to be to achieve results on your own.  We inevitably get in our own way.  Having a coach will support your forward progress to keep you on a positive track.

3)    Design a results oriented goal and focused action plan to move forward, and fine-tune it with your coach.  This will support your results by acknowledging your achievements and reinforcing the positive expansion of them.

 (c)Jeannette L. Seibly, 2009

 Jeannette Seibly is a nationally recognized coach, who has helped thousands of people work smarter, have financial freedom, and realize their dreams now.  Along the way, she created three millionaires.  You can contact her:  JLSeibly@gmail.com OR http://SeibCo.com

Making Decisions Simple

Yes, I will.  No, I won’t.  It seems easy to make those statements.  Yet, many people have a hard time making decisions that work for them, or on behalf of their internal and external customers.  How do you make it easy by taking into account the facts, as well as the “feelings” of others when making decisions?

1)  Be clear as to the specific request or issue.  Make it as objective as possible.

 2)  Write out a “Cheat Sheet” or list of any specific criteria you want to have, or needs to be included in the result.  (For example, when buying a benefit policy, have a list of specific items that the policy must have before you buy it.)

 3)  Review any written company policy or procedure regarding the specific issue, or items. 

 4)  Ask boss and co-worker if there is a different practice in place.  And, ask their opinion about your pending decision.

5)  Make your final decision based upon the facts and doing what is the right thing to do.

6)  Communicate this decision in a manner that is respectful and considerate of the person or persons involved.

Making decisions is never easy.  And, making decisions based upon your feelings will only provide inconsistent decision making, and possible legal liability.  Making objective decisions requires that you objectively look at the facts, while reviewing your policies and procedures.  Additional research (people, internet, library, etc.) may be required.

If you don’t believe the objective outcome you reach is the right thing to do for the other person, make appropriate requests to your boss for an exception.  Always remember, there will always be additional facts available or pending; and therefore, it will never be perfect.  Your job is provide your company and your client (internally and externally) a win-win outcome.  How well you communicate your decision is everything.  If it is not communicated appropriately, it may not occur as a win-win for the client or other person.

 ©Jeannette L. Seibly, 2007