(This is part one of a two-part article.)
Many leaders are confronted when needing to tell an uncomfortable truth. They fear people will become upset with them when it isn’t what they want to hear. And these leaders lack the self-confidence and self-esteem to work through upsets with bosses, customers, employees and teams.
This is especially true for leaders wanting and needing to be “liked,” versus doing the right things the right way (e.g., failing to: follow policy, hire strategically, address bad behavior and poor work quality).
Why is it so hard?
They …
- Rely on false information and believe what they are saying.
- Have an automatic reaction when caught falsifying data, stealing, or ignoring policy.
- Lack having done the research or talking with the right people.
- Have an emotional attachment to the person or situation.
The inevitable outcomes are two-fold:
- When others find out you lied, you cannot be fully trusted again.
- If others relied on your information or data, they will question your ability to be a leader and refuse to work with you.
While leaders gain very little by stretching or ignoring the truth, it doesn’t stop many from doing it anyway and calling them “harmless little white lies.”
Remember, the truth will normally surface and what you gained by lying (stretching the truth) is short lived and costly for your leadership, career, and relationships.
Short-term benefits that are erased later:
- Avoiding consequences — escaping blame, punishment, or discomfort for the moment.
- Controlling a narrative — shaping how others see you, creating a false image.
- Buying time — delaying a difficult conversation or decision.
- Protecting ego — shielding yourself from shame, embarrassment, or vulnerability.
- Manipulating outcomes — influencing others to get what you
- Habitual lying — lying is a default coping mechanism.
- Shame cycles — shame leads to lying, lying leads to more shame.
- Avoidance patterns — some people would rather face a future crisis than a present discomfort.
- Identity protection — they’re protecting the version of themselves they want others to see.
These gains feel real in the moment, but it’s like building a house on quick sand. It will eventually sink … then what?
Why do leaders and bosses continue lying when they know the truth will come out?
Chronic lying is less about deception and more about emotional survival strategies. Leaders lie when they don’t believe they can handle the consequences of the truth — or that others will fail to see they did the best they could.
In other words, people don’t lie because it’s smart. They lie because it’s easier than facing something painful right now or their ego isn’t ready to be vulnerable about mistakes.
Your short-term gain is not worth your long-term loss:
- Trust — once broken, it’s incredibly hard to rebuild and people don’t forget.
- Credibility — people doubt the truth you are telling and this will limit opportunities.
- Relationships — lying corrodes intimacy, respect, and psychological safety.
- Self-respect — living in contradiction wears a person down, lowers self-confidence and self-esteem.
- Peace of mind — keeping lies straight is exhausting and usually will be uncovered by powerful listeners and fact-finders.
When the truth finally comes out, and it will, the short-term benefits rarely justify the long-term damage.
©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved
Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.
Telling the truth can be hard … especially if you don’t know what it is! Learn the power of discernment by improving your leadership skills now. Give me a call.
Listen to: The Business Power Hour: Deb Krier’s 1176 episode with Jeannette Seibly, feel the fear and do it anyway: https://youtu.be/kQLaw_jN50Q