Why We Block Ourselves and How to Finally Step Through

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Many people block themselves, especially if they are high achievers and struggle with self‑imposed barriers. What’s missing for them and the rest of us? Accountability, resilience, responsibility, clarity, and moving forward.

These blocks can last hours, days, and weeks.

Common blocks are:

  • Many of us have confidence, yet choose not to use it.
  • We can be great listeners, yet talk over people.
  • We are reliable, yet arrive late or deliver incomplete work.
  • We are results‑producers, yet fail to make the sale or get buy‑in for a new idea.
  • We are leaders, yet have become followers of something we don’t even believe in.

The problem isn’t the block. The problem is what we make the block mean.

No one is perfect. Forgive yourself, apologize when needed, and step through and move forward now. Stop waiting and take one step today that honors your word and moves you forward. If you’re still stuck or blocked, consider talking with an executive coach or therapist to help you regain clarity and momentum.

The Real Reasons We Give in to the Blocks

When asked why we don’t get work done, pursue a dream, or complete a project, most people offer familiar excuses:

  • “I have a bad boss.”
  • “I don’t enjoy my job.”
  • “Someone else can handle it.”
  • “I don’t have the money.”
  • “I don’t have the time.”

But the truth is simpler and harder to admit: You actually don’t want to do it, and no one is going to make you. It’s your block!

Today, many people feel entitled to their emotional reactions, using them as justification to block their own success. We all have emotional blocks. They can tend to show up at the worst possible times. Yet, the problem is we treat them as if they are the truth about ourselves, the situation, or the relationship!

Remember, there are many other people with the same familiar excuses, yet they persevere and step forward, creating momentum by taking one small step at a time.

A Moment of Choice

Recently, at a first‑time event, I found myself hesitating since I didn’t know anyone but the host of the meeting. I was being careful, quiet, and holding back. Then I caught myself: “Whoa. Stop.”

When the leader called on me, I stepped through the block and spoke with confidence. That’s the moment everything shifted: the moment I chose to be the person I am.

Now, think of a moment when you have allowed your self‑consciousness or fear to block you and get in the way. Then you used it as your excuse to play small, withhold ideas, or leave the conversation early (while still in the meeting).

This is your reminder to stop letting those moments define you. It requires taking the first step through them now, or reach out to an executive coach who can help you practice doing so.

How to Get There

  • Get thoughts out of your head and onto paper.
  • Acknowledge the block. Name it. Don’t dramatize it.
  • Listen to podcasts. Fill your mind with voices that elevate your thinking.
  • Write a full page of successes. Wins, abundance, positive moments. Writing activates the brain differently and builds confidence. (For additional insight, “Get Your Brag On!”)
  • Stay out of rabbit holes. Overthinking is a trap disguised as productivity.
  • Set a daily goal and intention. Small commitments build momentum.
  • Dial up humbleness; dial down ego. Replace “I shouldn’t have to do this” with “This moves me forward.” A healthy (not overactive) ego can make a world of difference!
  • Allow others to help. Drop the “I can do it myself” mindset.
  • Review what’s true. Separate your reality from others’ expectations.
  • Apologize to yourself and others. Then follow through. Integrity grows from action.

If you continue to struggle on how to step through you block(s), work with a coach or a therapist to help you stay accountable and move forward faster.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Leaders With Healthy Egos Produce Intended Results

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Your ego, as a leader, can be both a benefit and a cost to relationships, retention, results, and revenues. Egos can be both useful and dangerous: it can fuel confidence and drive OR blind leaders to reality and damage trust and results.

Example: When hiring employees, your ego gets in the way by not listening and instead, relying on intuition, gut reactions, or biases. The hiring boss fails to collect objective data, and then, acts surprised when the new employee miscommunicates, ignores team members, and performance is subpar.

Egos fuel entitlement and self-sabotage. Egotistical leaders believe the rules don’t apply to them or that their position earns them special treatment. They rely on being right, being in control, or being seen as the smartest person in the room. This erodes their credibility and trust because the ego is wired to protect identity and status, especially when a leader feels insecure, which undermines intended results.

Conversely, a healthy ego becomes a stabilizer. Leaders who don’t need special treatment or constant validation make clearer decisions, build stronger relationships, and earn genuine respect. This grounded approach strengthens trust, psychological safety, and a culture where team members follow because they want to.

Costs of Allowing Egos to Manage the Leader

  • Self‑Belief vs. Arrogance. When confidence becomes arrogance, leaders become defensive, overconfident, and dismissive, driving poor decisions and pushing top talent and customers out the door.
  • Lack of Self‑Awareness. Without self‑awareness, leaders miss the moment when the ego takes over, derails conversations, damages relationships, and creates avoidable conflict.
  • Breakdown in Listening. Ego-driven leaders talk over others, assume they already know the answer, and shut down collaboration, which stifles innovation and team engagement.
  • Distorted Decision‑Making. Egos narrow perspective, causing leaders to ignore data and dismiss alternatives to “prove they’re right.”
  • Avoid Accountability. Leaders who let their egos run the show blame others, justify poor choices, and resist feedback, weakening credibility and slowing team performance.
  • Erosion of Trust. When ego overshadows humility, psychological safety disappears, people stop speaking up, and overall innovation and performance decline.

How to Develop a Healthy Ego

A healthy ego provides confidence, resilience, and steadiness when under pressure. Strong leaders know when to dial the ego down and dial humility up to move teams forward, handle tough conversations, and build reliable working relationships.

  • Self‑Belief vs. Arrogance. Leaders with true confidence asks open-ended questions, listen, and build win-win-win results. When they make mistakes or misspeak, they apologize immediately.
  • Self‑Awareness as the Regulator. Self‑awareness helps leaders recognize when ego is helping and when it’s hijacking judgment. Pausing, noticing triggers, and using feedback as a mirror prevents unnecessary conflict and poor decisions.
  • Intentional Listening. Practicing curiosity and humility are skills that can be developed. This way of listening restores collaboration without letting conversations go sideways.
  • Objective Decision‑Making. Using objective data while engaging in diverse viewpoints and structured decision processes prevents costly missteps, especially in hiring, strategy creation, and fulfillment of intended results.
  • Accountability and Ownership. A healthy ego takes responsibility, slows down to include the team, and ensures everyone contributes for stronger results.
  • Build Trust. When balancing ego with humbleness, a healthy ego helps leaders believe in their teams, overcome setbacks, and create win‑win‑win outcomes.
  • Strengthen Effectiveness. Leaders with a healthy ego build self‑awareness habits, seek reality checks, use structured decision frameworks, separate identity from ideas, and treat humility as a leadership tool.
  • Ask For and Accept Help. Healthy‑ego leaders know they can’t do it all. Asking for help, accepting support, and working with mentors or a coach keeps blind spots in check and strengthens decision‑making.

A healthy ego models strength by showing the team that collaboration, guidance, and continuous improvement are essential to effective leadership. Tools like PXT Select® and the PXT Select® Leadership Report provide objective insights into how leaders think, behave, and make decisions, especially when under pressure. (The PXT Select® also bolsters team members, especially when there has been conflict, miscommunication, and too many mistakes and failures along the way.)

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved (Written with research assistance from AI)

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

The Secrets of an Effective Apology

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Many leaders have trouble admitting they were wrong, or their actions had a negative impact on a person or group. Or, they failed to fulfill a promise using the age-old excuses of failing to remember or being too busy. To make matters worse, they attempt to blame others.

Mistakes happen! How you handle them either builds your credibility or diminishes your career growth.

One overlooked truth is that explanations rarely rebuild trust, apologies do. Explanations satisfy the mind, but apologies repair the relationship.

When leaders (and others) offer explanations, it’s a fear of …

  • Admitting they were wrong
  • Failing to take responsibility
  • Listening and speaking honestly
  • The list is endless

What’s often overlooked is the deeper fear underneath all of this: losing psychological safety.

When leaders avoid apologizing, they unintentionally signal that mistakes are dangerous to admit, creating a culture where people stay silent rather than speak up.

The costs:

  • Top talent – no one wants to be lied to
  • Clients – no one wants to be manipulated
  • Management team – unwilling to take responsibility for leaders’ words or actions
  • Team culture – blame becomes normalized, and people mirror the leader’s defensiveness
  • Productivity – issues linger longer even though a simple apology could have resolved them sooner

Polly, Director of Customer Support, told employees they needed to be in the office three days a week but failed to update policies or address obvious logistical issues. She let everyone continue as before. Some never showed up. Instead of apologizing, she shrugged, “Well … people will be people.” The impact on revenues, retention, and results was significant. With her executive coach’s support, Polly finally apologized and cleaned up the mess by implementing a clear hybrid policy and enforcing it.

Have you ever noticed that when leaders, who you respect, are also the ones that don’t hesitate to apologize? “I’m sorry …” “Oops, my misunderstanding …” They take full responsibility for what they heard and what they have said. Their willingness to apologize creates psychological safety and people feel safe speaking up, asking questions, and being honest.

Understanding the secrets of a powerful apology and developing this all-important skill is required of everyone in any leadership role.

The Three Secrets

Accountability. Being honest about why you did something may not be helpful. Instead, simply say, “I apologize.” Set aside your ego, excuses, and other bad habits when you’ve made a mistake. Otherwise, you diminish your reputation.

  • Apologize for not understanding and share the work that gave you a new perspective.
  • Take a step back and stay emotionally unattached to the outcome.
  • Truly listen to build win‑win‑win results using active listening skills.

Respect. Respect is two‑sided. When leaders don’t apologize for lack of preparation or late arrivals, team members feel dismissed. Explanations meant to elicit sympathy eventually backfire.

  • Respect for others requires stopping the excuses and simply apologizing.
  • Explanations fall flat and are heard as inauthentic.
  • Respect for yourself and your team includes apologizing when your lack of direction has created confusion.

Example: If you’ve allowed your team to be late to meetings, it’s time to change that bad habit: “I apologize upfront that I’ve not been consistent. It’s important that each of you arrive prepared and ready to go at the scheduled time. Any questions?”

Courage. Admitting a mistake and taking responsibility for your team’s poorly completed work takes courage. First, apologize. Then ask questions … not to defend what happened, but to clarify what was overlooked. Remember, 80% of communication is non‑verbal; mental chatter or a defensive ego will distract everyone from resolving the issue.

© Jeannette Seibly, 2017–2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Be a Respected Leader and Achieve Intended Results

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Being a respected leader and boss requires taking responsibility for each situation, discovering the true issue, and making the best decisions to improve results. And? Asking for help! (So often overlooked until it’s too late.)

Respect grows when you prevent small issues from becoming major crises and shows your team you value team results over your ego.

The biggest challenge I’m seeing today with leaders is they focus on being well‑liked by employees and customers, and disregard the importance of being respected. This stifles innovation, and team members withdraw from actively focusing on intended results.

A general manager (GM) for a company was well liked by employees and clients. It was a surprise and shock when he was reamed by a new board member about his poor management of the company’s satellite office. After the board session, the GM resigned. After the employees and other board members convinced him to stay, he rescinded his resignation. But nothing was done to resolve the real issue of poor financial management of the satellite office. Several months later the GM was fired.

In this situation, the GM was liked but not respected. He did not ask for help, and no one addressed the real issue of poor financial management results. This also revealed a deeper problem: there were no accountability systems in place to catch issues early, and no one was telling the truth soon enough to prevent a crisis.

5 Keys to Build Respect as a Leader

  1. Select the Best People. Stop intuitive hiring practices! Respect begins by hiring, promoting, and job transitioning your management and employee teams into positions that fit them! (It’s called job‑fit.) Before selecting people, craft a well‑designed selection process to collect objective, valid, and reliable data about the person’s ability to be effective in the job. This requires using qualified job‑fit assessments, conducting job‑focused interviews, and implementing a six‑month onboarding program.
  2. Make Faster Decisions. Taking days, weeks, or months to make decisions is often due to poor decision‑making skills. Do your homework by having intentional conversations … the decisions will become much clearer. Remember, integrity, critical thinking, and paying attention to the impact on others are key to making decisions that impact everyone long‑term. Let go of those elephants!
  3. Talk It Out. Communication is everything. Too often, leaders don’t pay attention to their own words, avoid having tough conversations, and ignore others’ concerns. With your team, go around the table to get everyone’s input until there is nothing new being added. The process includes eliciting responses from those you normally don’t listen to, and may include things you don’t want to hear! The answers reside inside the quality of these conversations! Yes, it can take more time in the short-run. But in the long run, it builds respect for you as a leader, and provides support when implementing less‑than‑popular decisions. Telling the truth early, even when it’s uncomfortable, is a cornerstone of respect and prevents small issues from becoming major problems.
  4. Build Good Working Relationships. This facilitates getting things resolved with less push-back and faster buy‑in. Respect is a two‑way street. Before offering opinions about how things should be done or how a person should view a situation, listen! Remember, hearing and asking open‑ended questions will always build stronger relationships and uncover most concerns.
  5. Plan for Your Replacement. Succession planning and development are crucial for future leaders. When you plan for your replacement, you build respect because you are showing your commitment to the longevity of the company, more than your own personal interests. You never know when your successor will need to step up, either short or long‑term, due to illness, death of a family member, and other issues. The key? Make sure the person is the right one. (SEE #1 above) Too often, a good #2 person does not make a good #1 leader. Don’t skip #1.

To be a respected leader and achieve intended results, implement the five keys. Contact me to accelerate your success.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2023-2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Better Outcomes Occur When You Stop Waiting Too Long

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Life happens … and many times, we wait too long to ask for help and take action.

Years ago, a former neighbor had an unfortunate incident that changed his life. It began after a workplace accident. When he was released to go back to work, he was unable to do so due to acquiring vertigo. Instead of asking for help, he became an Amazon frequent customer (thousands of dollars’ worth) and stopped cleaning his home due to his illness. His hoarding became the reason for refusing help, and this turned into debris, spoiled food, and unsafe living conditions. After falling and needing help to get back up, he decided to pack what he could and leave the rest before being officially evicted. While he had financial options, he refused to take advantage of them. He waited too long to ask for help.

What’s important to understand is this: His decline didn’t happen overnight. It happened because he waited too long at every step: to ask for help, to accept help, to take action, and to face the truth.

Many of us wait too long to clean up a mess, take charge of a situation or relationship, or ask for help.
This is true when dealing with health, career, job, family, finances, legal issues, home maintenance, and community challenges (the list is endless). It’s also true in leadership when waiting too long creates avoidable crises, unnecessary losses, and long-term consequences.

YOU Limit Your Options

  • Waiting rarely feels like a decision.
  • But it is.
  • And the longer you wait, the fewer options you have.

While addressing these challenges is never easy, it doesn’t need to be overwhelming. Most situations become overwhelming because we wait too long.

Consistent Small Actions Create Change, Not Intensity

Ask for Help. Ask early. Ask before the situation becomes unmanageable. Shame, pride, and fear keep people stuck longer than the problem itself.

Accept the Help. Receiving help is not weakness, it’s wisdom. Declining help because “you don’t want to be a burden” only makes you a bigger burden later.

Follow doctor, boss, or coach advice. Stop mentally negotiating with the advice you don’t want to hear and stop denying you have a problem. The right guidance only works if you follow it and not when you argue with it, delay it, or selectively apply it.

Empower Yourself. Empower yourself by taking small simple actions that strengthen your clarity, confidence, and resilience.

  • Listen to podcasts that support your growth.
    • Journal to get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper.
    • Write (but do not send anything to anyone) to process emotions without creating new problems.
    • Exercise, as medically viable, to move your body and reset your mind.

These simple small practices build internal stability so you can take the next right steps forward, small and steady wins.

Remember, Life Situations Happen

It’s part of life. Some are avoidable, some are not. But when “life happens,” it requires a step‑by‑step process to move forward. Small steps prevent bigger disasters. Remember, you don’t need to fix everything at once, you just need to start.

You may not see results immediately…

…but they will happen if you keep doing what you need to do for the benefit and welfare of yourself, your family, and/or your employees. Consistency creates change, not intensity.

If you’ve been waiting too long to address a mess, a relationship, a health issue, or a leadership responsibility, take one step today. Empower yourself and get support so you don’t wait until the consequences make the choice for you. Stop waiting and call me.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Being Indecisive Leads to Poor Results for Leaders

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Indecisiveness is one of the costliest behaviors for leaders. Making the right decision is hard, especially when you believe your options are limited. But every decision, and every action you take, carries both benefits and consequences. When leaders default to fear, ego, avoidance, or other subjective factors, they almost always move in the wrong direction. And their hesitation doesn’t stay contained. The negative consequences ripple far beyond the moment.

Why It Happens

  • Indecisive personality — chronic hesitation becomes a leadership style.
  • Wrong job fit — lacking the objectivity or competencies required.
  • Emotional attachment to the past — protecting outdated practices or people.
  • Lack of assertiveness — relying on “likeability” instead of leadership.
  • Fear of consequences — lawsuits, reputation, internal politics.
  • Avoiding conflict — hoping issues “resolve themselves.”
  • Ignoring data — choosing gut feelings over facts.
  • Overreliance on consensus — waiting for everyone to agree before acting.

As a leader, you are responsible for the entire organization: financially, legally, ethically, operationally, and culturally. Your decisions, or your refusal to make them, impact employees, customers, vendors, communities, and your management team.

The Cost of Poor Decisions

  • Every poor decision has a cost.
  • Every delayed decision has a cost.
  • A “no decision” is still a decision and has a cost … usually the most expensive one.

Hidden costs include rework, turnover, burnout, and reputational erosion. Opportunity costs include the growth, innovation, and stability the company could have achieved if the leader had made the decision to act sooner.

An Example: The Operations Director Who Chose “Comfort” Over Clarity

A regional operations director at a fast‑growing manufacturing company oversaw three plants, 600+ employees, and millions in monthly output. The company had a well‑defined Quality Hold Policy:
Any product with a suspected defect must be pulled immediately, inspected, and cleared before shipping.

Every supervisor received the policy.

Every supervisor had signed the quality‑hold acknowledgment confirming they understood it.

And everyone also knew the director refused to enforce it.

Instead, he chose the path of least resistance. He:

  • Dismissed concerns from line supervisors who flagged defects
  • Pressured teams to “keep the line moving” to avoid missing quotas
  • Downplayed early warning data from the quality team
  • Avoided tough conversations with a chronically underperforming plant manager

The consequences were immediate and costly:

  • A spike in customer complaints about product failures
  • Two major returns from national retailers
  • A drop in quarterly revenue due to chargebacks
  • Overtime costs skyrocketing as teams reworked defective batches
  • A damaged reputation in an industry where reliability is everything

This wasn’t a quality problem.
This wasn’t a production problem.
This was a leadership decision‑making problem — the refusal to enforce a policy because it felt uncomfortable.

And every company, in every industry, faces this same issue: Leaders who won’t make the hard call, even when the policy is clear, the risks are known, and the consequences are predictable fail.

Questions Every Leader Must Ask

  • “Where in my business/company are poor policy enforcement practices sacrosanct?”
  • “What does this cost my company, employees, and customers?”
  • “Where are there other issues being ignored (e.g., financial reporting, recordkeeping, psychological safety)?”
  • “What patterns of avoidance have become “normal” in this company culture?”

This lack of accountability and ethics will not be forgotten. It costs the company top talent, customers, revenues, and reputation.

What To Do

Admitting the truth and making the right changes takes courage. If you’re an indecisive leader, you need help … not more time.

Get Real about Enforcing Policies. If you don’t enforce your own policies, you’ve created a new policy: “We don’t enforce policies.” This invites lawsuits, erodes trust, and destroys retention of employees and customers.

Hire Legal Counsel. Make sure the attorney (a human, not AI) has the experience to move the company forward. While some lawyers take the “safe approach” and recommend posting reminders, those reminders do nothing to change the outcome if not enforced. A proactive approach can turn issues around if you’re willing to listen and take focused action to resolve them.

Hire an Executive Advisor. You need someone who will tell you the truth … not what you want to hear and not what your team has been enabling.

Communicate with Intention. When talking with employees, vendors, and others, be intentional about your message. Communication must be: Timely. Written. Clear. Documented.

Enforce Policies Consistently. Policies should be communicated, read, understood, and signed. Selective enforcement is discrimination. Inconsistent enforcement is incompetence.

If you’re a leader struggling with indecision, avoidance, or policy enforcement, stop trying to fix it alone.
Get the right advisor, the right legal guidance, and the right tools to move forward now.  Your team, your customers, and your reputation depend on it.

Action creates momentum. Your decisions either improve the situation or guarantee it gets worse. Get in action now and contact me.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

5 Attitudes Required to Fast Track Career Success

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There are many conversations business professionals, executives, and business leaders keep continue to have about why they are unhappy in their jobs or careers. These otherwise qualified individuals live under the false illusion that finding the perfect career or job will automatically have them earning mega-bucks, working for a great boss, and enjoying a great life!

But not so fast! The truth is … if you want to fast track your career success … first, you need to address the elephants in the room as to why you’ve derailed your career.

The Elephant Tracks That Keep You Stuck

Elephant tracks are made by people not bring forth their A Game! They are more focused on gossip, factions, and not doing complete work.

I can do anything, but don’t want to do this. According to Gallup, over 80 percent of people are in jobs that don’t fit them.

Gimme, gimme. Many people jump for extra pennies or dollars in their paycheck, but then end up leaving those jobs because they are unhappy!

Grass is greener. All companies have their issues.  

I’m too busy. There’s a saying, “If you want something done, give it to a busy person.”

Bigger is better. A bigger company does not mean it is better run, regardless of their bigger budgets!

Rather than believe you’re stuck in a job or career, recognize you are there because of your unwillingness to make the needed changes. Only you are responsible for your work-life happiness!

Your Career Success IS an Inside Job

Remember, it’s an attitude. Take charge of your career.

  • Understand and clarify your strengths as they are, not as you believe they should be. Learn skill stacking. Take a qualified job fit assessment to clarify job fit.
  • Professionals who hire the right career or executive coach have a competitive edge, with their current employer or their next one. They enjoy their jobs again.
  • Empower yourself to ask for help. Stop waiting for someone to show you the right direction.
  • Stop mimicking others in hopes of becoming happier. Happiness is an inside job!
  • New opportunities will appear quicker when you have a great mindset and are focused on fulfilling your career goals.
  • Learn what your boss and the company needs done. Have strategic conversations (yes, many) to ensure you’re on the right track. Then, get busy.
  • You learn to how sell yourself in a business savvy manner. (https://SeibCo.com/books/).
  • You write down the top three must-haves for the next job, and take action to fulfill them in your current one!

Fast tracking your career success is an inside job. Focus on building your strengths, working with a coach to develop your EI, and be ready to move forward when opportunities appear.

©Jeannette Seibly 2012-2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Being successful in your career isn’t hard. Stop expecting your boss, company, and others to create your success! Look inside yourself. If you are stuck, reach out now before you talk yourself out of it. Contact me.

Listen to: The Business Power Hour: Deb Krier’s 1176 episode with Jeannette Seibly, feel the fear and do it anyway:  https://youtu.be/kQLaw_jN50Q

What to Do When Team Members Fail to Tell the Truth

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(This is part two of a two-part article. Here’s the link for Part 1: https://seibco.com/telling-the-truth/

Team members lie for a variety of reasons. As a leader and boss, it’s crucial you learn how to address and handle situations and relationships where team members (and others) have lied, stretched the truth, or relied on innuendos.

It starts with hiring people who can tell the truth, admit their mistakes, and take responsibility for what they say and do. If you lack a strategic job fit selection process, you will be constantly on guard in conversations, and it will leak into your ability to work well with others too.

Why employees may feel the need to lie:

  • Lying is easier to handle than any fear
  • Fear losing their job, paycheck, or other work assignment
  • Are coping with anxiety and other stress-related issues
  • Avoiding responsibility for the harm and impact on others in the moment
  • Identity and habit (e.g., they were the go-to person – now they are not due to job changes)
  • The damage is already done and nothing bad has happened (yet)

What Can You Do to Protect Yourself, Your Team, and Your Company?

Listen to learn. Proactive protection requires being diligent in conversations and actually listening. This requires no multi-tasking, putting aside any electronic devices or other detractors, and focusing your attention on the speaker.

Ask open-ended questions. Use the Rule of 3 to deep dive into the facts to ensure you know and they know what is being said is the truth. Always use this approach when fact-finding or relying on data presented (e.g., negotiations).

Prep and document. Conduct research before conversations, not during (no multitasking). Write down what is said. Why write? Many studies have shown that writing uses the brain differently. You are more likely to question certain comments or statements. Example: “This is very interesting … can you tell me specifically where you got this data? How did you go about it? What did you learn?”

Encourage them to tell you the truth. “This may be difficult, but I need to know the actual facts of what happened.”

Power of Discernment. This is a skill you develop daily. Don’t be afraid to have the tough conversations by talking straight. (Example, if a company policy has been violated, be clear about what must happen next. And, follow through.)

Emotional Intelligence (EI). Being aware of your own EI helps develop an awareness and mindfulness to decipher when others are telling the truth or camouflaging facts. But, remember, lies, half-truths, and innuendos are an easy trap to fall into when people are in a hurry. Slow down since operating on false information will cost you top talent, key customers, and a positive bottom line.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Being able to discern truth from lies can be hard for everyone. When in doubt, ask for help from a qualified coach or therapist. Give me a call.

Listen to: The Business Power Hour: Deb Krier’s 1176 episode with Jeannette Seibly, feel the fear and do it anyway:  https://youtu.be/kQLaw_jN50Q

Sometimes to Win You Need to Quit

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There are times you can win simply by quitting. It’s not losing. It’s not something most bosses or coaches will tell you. It’s what must happen to move forward.

While I don’t advocate giving up too soon, there are times when the game plan, mindset, or actions just are not going to get you where you need to go. And, change is not going to happen in a timely manner.

How to recognize when to quit:

  • You’ve talked to your coach and mentor, and they each said, “We cannot help you.”
  • You took a job knowing it was not the right one for you.
  • You joined a team that is poorly run, and sabotages your input (and energy).
  • The list is endless.

It is time to reassess when:

  • There’s been a financial drain.
  • Your health is at risk.
  • Resources are unavailable.
  • You are unwilling to have the needed conversations.
  • No one is willing to work with you on the project.
  • You’re unwilling to hire a coach and incorporate their ideas. (Then, it’s doubly time to quit!)

What Happens When You Hang on Too Long:

Feel bad. Feelings can and do change very quickly. Regretting hanging on too long rarely makes a difference to your team, investors, boss or customers.

Give up at with first problem. You give up too quickly because it’s not working out as you had envisioned.

Lack commitment to the goal. Momentum and inspiration will come and go depending on the work you’re willing to do.

Trying to leap when you should be taking smaller steps. Remember, the fable, The Tortoise and The Hare. Hares, slow down. Or, if you’ve been operating as a tortoise out of fear of failure, speed it up!

Relying on your inner dialogue. This will stop you when you only focus on what’s wrong!

Before You Quit!

Get clear. Work with an experienced coach. Every failure (and success) can provide “lessons learned.” If you don’t take the time now, it will show up again!

Complete What Worked / What Didn’t Work? Be objective to determine what you missed, ignored, or failed to do correctly. Use your numbers objectively. (Instead of, people were happy at the event; use objectivity – 20 people showed and 1 person requested a future conversation.) Talk with your coach to determine if these insights can rectify the plan, or if it’s time to scrap it as it is currently designed. (See Chapter 20, Get Your Brag On! for exercise)

Review your inner dialogue. It’s time to get real … not reinforcing “why it should’ve, could’ve and would’ve worked if only things, situations, and people had been different.”

Wobbly inner power. Too often, you’ve made yourself wrong, disempowered yourself (and others), or allowed someone to diminish or dismiss your project as important. Stop! Talk with your coach or therapist to get back on track before making a final decision to quit or proceed forward.

Be coachable.  Too often, people will give up too quickly due a myopic view of how it “should” look. After talking with your executive coach to determine if the project, plan or venture can be turned around profitably and fulfill the intended outcomes, it’s time to make the final decision. Realize a “decision not to make a decision” is a decision … and often a “No!”

If you’ve done the reflection, and are unwilling to modify your thoughts, feelings, and actions, it may be time to quit and move on. Do so gracefully. Remember, you didn’t lose. It just didn’t work. Now look for what’s next!

©Jeannette L. Seibly, 2012 -2026

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

There are times when life will throw you curve balls. If your commitment isn’t strong enough, it’s up to you to get into action with an experience coach. Then, make a decision to move forward or quit. Contact me.

Listen to: The Business Power Hour: Deb Krier’s 1176 episode with Jeannette Seibly, feel the fear and do it anyway:  https://youtu.be/kQLaw_jN50Q

As a Leader, Do You Have Difficulty Telling the Truth?

by

(This is part one of a two-part article.)

Many leaders are confronted when needing to tell an uncomfortable truth. They fear people will become upset with them when it isn’t what they want to hear. And these leaders lack the self-confidence and self-esteem to work through upsets with bosses, customers, employees and teams.

This is especially true for leaders wanting and needing to be “liked,” versus doing the right things the right way (e.g., failing to: follow policy, hire strategically, address bad behavior and poor work quality).

Why is it so hard?

They …

  • Rely on false information and believe what they are saying.
  • Have an automatic reaction when caught falsifying data, stealing, or ignoring policy.
  • Lack having done the research or talking with the right people.
  • Have an emotional attachment to the person or situation.

The inevitable outcomes are two-fold:

  1. When others find out you lied, you cannot be fully trusted again.
  2. If others relied on your information or data, they will question your ability to be a leader and refuse to work with you.

While leaders gain very little by stretching or ignoring the truth, it doesn’t stop many from doing it anyway and calling them “harmless little white lies.”

Remember, the truth will normally surface and what you gained by lying (stretching the truth) is short lived and costly for your leadership, career, and relationships.

Short-term benefits that are erased later:

  • Avoiding consequences — escaping blame, punishment, or discomfort for the moment.
  • Controlling a narrative — shaping how others see you, creating a false image.
  • Buying time — delaying a difficult conversation or decision.
  • Protecting ego — shielding yourself from shame, embarrassment, or vulnerability.
  • Manipulating outcomes — influencing others to get what you
  • Habitual lying — lying is a default coping mechanism.
  • Shame cycles — shame leads to lying, lying leads to more shame.
  • Avoidance patterns — some people would rather face a future crisis than a present discomfort.
  • Identity protection — they’re protecting the version of themselves they want others to see.

These gains feel real in the moment, but it’s like building a house on quick sand. It will eventually sink … then what?

Why do leaders and bosses continue lying when they know the truth will come out?

Chronic lying is less about deception and more about emotional survival strategies. Leaders lie when they don’t believe they can handle the consequences of the truth — or that others will fail to see they did the best they could.

In other words, people don’t lie because it’s smart. They lie because it’s easier than facing something painful right now or their ego isn’t ready to be vulnerable about mistakes.

Your short-term gain is not worth your long-term loss:

  • Trust — once broken, it’s incredibly hard to rebuild and people don’t forget.
  • Credibility — people doubt the truth you are telling and this will limit opportunities.
  • Relationships — lying corrodes intimacy, respect, and psychological safety.
  • Self-respect — living in contradiction wears a person down, lowers self-confidence and self-esteem.
  • Peace of mind — keeping lies straight is exhausting and usually will be uncovered by powerful listeners and fact-finders.

When the truth finally comes out, and it will, the short-term benefits rarely justify the long-term damage.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Telling the truth can be hard … especially if you don’t know what it is! Learn the power of discernment by improving your leadership skills now. Give me a call.

Listen to: The Business Power Hour: Deb Krier’s 1176 episode with Jeannette Seibly, feel the fear and do it anyway:  https://youtu.be/kQLaw_jN50Q