Articles

Why We Get Stopped (And How to Finally Move Forward)

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The core truth is simple and uncomfortable: we don’t get stopped because of our skills, talents, or interests. We get stopped because we fail to do the work. The difference between people who achieve meaningful results and those who wish they had is not brilliance, luck, or inspiration. It’s action … taking consistent, imperfect, forward‑moving action.

What Actually Stops Us 

  • The Remy Effect. Outwardly we talk the talk; inwardly we fear taking the required actions. When fears of not being enough, not having enough, or being judged appear, remember: the fear shows up because you’re moving forward.
  • Waiting for permission. You don’t need permission to begin, proceed, or excel.
  • “I don’t have everything I need.” You won’t. Start anyway. In writing a book, characters and plots emerge after you begin. In business, clarity comes after the first step.
  • Shiny objects. New ideas, distractions, and “opportunities” will appear. If they don’t fit your intention, move on. They are major deterrents to completion.
  • Misleading expectations. The process rarely looks like you think it should, especially when you’re “almost there.” Even if you’ve done something similar before, internal and external changes happen. Be flexible without ditching or rewriting the goal and intention. Keep going.
  • Self-Worth. If you fear failure or making a mistake, you’re making it mean too much about you. Remember, there is value in learning what doesn’t work and how to keep moving forward. 

Common Deterrents We Misinterpret as “Good Reasons”

  • Everyone has the same 24/7. It’s not time; it’s the choices we make.
  • Money reflects your history, environment, and beliefs. You’ve survived challenges before and you’re still here. Find a committed listener. Share your story twice, then stop. Don’t get stuck inside of it. Now, create the plan out loud, write it down, and immediately take one action step.
  • Life challenges occur. And, they will. When wanting to write a book, deal with a child on drugs, navigate career uncertainty, handle a difficult customer or team … none of these will resolve themselves without taking the right actions. Hire, and listen to, the right therapist, advisor, or expert. Create a plan. Follow it. Expect challenges and work through them one at a time.
  • The “Purpose Trap.” Many people believe they must find their “purpose” before acting. This is a trap. “Purpose” emerges from doing, not from comparing your journey to others’ successes.

 Doing the Work: The Real Differentiator

People who succeed aren’t necessarily more talented. They simply do the work:

  • They stay in action. When stopped, they learn why and move forward.
  • They take small steps. One step at a time keeps momentum alive.
  • They practice self‑care. Your health and wellbeing are your wealth.
  • They keep moving even when the path feels messy or unclear. You’ve never been this way before—be adventurous and bold.
  • They value essential support: coach + team. Together, they create momentum you cannot generate alone.
  • Keeps you out of your own way, stops self‑sabotage, and helps you stay accountable.
  • Moves the project forward. If team members lack skills or willingness, let them go. Wrong team members stall progress more than any external obstacle.
  • Every pursuit requires:
  • A clear goal. A specific outcome you commit to achieving with purpose.
  • A daily intention. A focused priority guiding your choices and energy today.
  • Consistent movement. Small, steady actions that maintain momentum toward your goal.

Not perfection. Not certainty. Consistent movement.

The Hardest Truth

Life isn’t stopping you. You are stopping yourself.

When you rely on your inner emotional and mental voices, they whisper doubt, fear, comparison, or hesitation. These must be tamed:

  • Acknowledge the voice.
  • Reframe the message.
  • Move forward anyway.

This is how intuition becomes your guide, and feelings stop running the show. 

An Example 

A woman insisted on being in charge of everything, and her results were always so‑so because she never learned to work with and through others. This is exactly how many people get stopped: fear, uncertainty, shiny distractions, and rigid expectations prevent forward movement. Once she shifted her mindset, trusted collaboration, and stayed in action, her outcomes improved significantly … showing that life isn’t stopping you; you stop yourself when you don’t consistently move forward.

Takeaway

You don’t need more talent, more skill, or more inspiration.

  • You need to begin.
  • You need to continue.
  • You need to stay in action.
  • Create your goal and your intention.
  • Hire an executive coach and use tools like PXT Select® to stay objective and on track.
  • Select your team.
  • Now, take action.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

What to Do as a Leader When You Inherit an Underperforming Employee

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Many leaders have faced this situation: you step in as the new hire or new boss and you inherit an underperforming employee on your team. Management is already telling you to fix them or fire them.

While you must treat every team member fairly and uphold the same standards for all, fairness does not mean ignoring performance issues.

Often, the previous boss was unwilling or unable to effectively coach the “underperforming employee,” let them go, or find a better job fit.

Now management expects you to resolve the situation.

Why This Expectation Is a Problem

  1. You cannot “fix” an employee.
  2. The “underperforming employee” may excel under your leadership.
  3. If management insists on firing them, have them do so before you start as the new boss.

The Reality of Inheriting a “Underperforming Employee”

  • A label from a previous boss does not define how anyone will perform with you. Conduct your due diligence with all
  • You are accountable for everyone’s performance. Ensure the team has the resources to meet customer demands.
  • Investigate first: use job fit assessments, review and update job descriptions, talk with current and former team members, and get management’s perspective.
  • Ask the customers what’s working and what’s not.
  • If you’re interviewing for the role, say: “I’ll need to assess them first. If you need them gone, you’ll need to handle that before I start.”
  • Maintain confidentiality and reinforce your standards.
  • Partner early with HR to ensure compliance.
  • Communicate appropriately with the team to prevent rumors and reinforce expectations.

As a New Leader, Share Expectations Immediately

  • Introduce yourself briefly in a group meeting.
  • In 1:1s, explain you’re assessing each role.
  • Ask how the team members see their role.
  • Clarify standards, timelines, and responsibilities.
  • Put expectations in writing.
  • Reinforce what “good performance” looks like.
  • Let the team know you’re available. And be available! It builds trust, which is needed in difficult conversations.
  • Hold each team member accountable and follow through consistently.
  • Never accuse anyone of being an underperforming employee since they may simply be in the wrong job.

Objectively Assess the Situation

  • Use a job fit assessment to confirm they’re in the right job. They may “fit” the thinking style, behaviors, and interests but have deviated from the job description due to lack of support and awareness.
  • Review performance history, documentation, and feedback from previous bosses and team members. Have intentional conversations. Remember, memories are never 100% accurate.
  • Identify whether the issue is skill, attitude, or both. Sometimes employees weren’t trained or were expected to grasp abstract concepts without guidance. Provide what’s missing and show them how to use it.
  • Create a written plan before speaking with the employee.

Have Direct and Intentional Conversations with the “Underperforming Employee”

  • Address issues factually using the Sandwich or Direct Approach, depending on the employee.
  • State what must change and why it matters. Use a performance improvement plan when needed.
  • Offer training and tools. If they’re unwilling to do the work, document it.
  • Treat each employee fairly.
  • Document everything: performance, behaviors, missed deadlines, and conversations (who, what, when, where, why).
  • If they want to leave, let them. Help them find a better internal fit or follow HR’s severance process.

Decide: Can They Stay or Must They Go?

  • Evaluate whether improvement is real and sustainable. (They cannot fake it forever.)
  • If not, initiate the appropriate exit process with HR.
  • Remember, the “underperforming employee” may be well liked but ineffective.
  • “Ride it out” when there is pushback from the team.
  • Reinforce expectations without criticizing the departing employee.

Strengthen Your Leadership Reputation

Your job is to ensure every employee receives the tools, coaching, and training needed to succeed.

  • Demonstrate fairness, consistency, and courage.
  • Show, by example, that you protect the team and uphold company standards.
  • You are judged not by the problems you inherit, but by how you handle the person and situation.

PS: What if You’re the “Underperforming Employee?” Don’t wait. Get help from an executive or career coach. This may include looking for another job after learning what you overlooked or ignored during your interview. The key is to get real about your strengths and weaknesses using a qualified job fit assessment to learn who you really are … not who you want to be seen as.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Are You Avoiding Kindness?

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Real kindness requires backbone, not telling people what they want to hear (aka platitudes). In today’s workplace, kindness is required to be effective and to be a results‑producer.

A lack of kindness often comes at the expense of teamwork, accountability, quality, client care, and the bottom line.

Kindness used to mean helping people grow, telling the truth, and doing what’s right even when it’s hard.

But today, “kindness” has been reduced to being agreeable, avoiding discomfort, and keeping everyone happy. It’s a way of avoiding potential legal issues, addressing unreasonable demands, and preventing team or customer upsets. That’s not kindness. When leaders focus on being liked, keeping the customer or boss happy, and protecting the bottom line, this surface‑level civility (aka fake kindness) creates a legacy of being nice but makes the leader ineffective.

Where Has Kindness Gone Missing?

  • Truth telling. Leaders avoid honest feedback to “be kind,” leaving teams stuck, costs rising, and customers unhappy.
  • Accountability. Standards are softened to avoid hurt feelings, creating mediocrity.
  • Follow-through. Leaders promise support but fail to provide the resources and feedback required, negatively impacting the company and clients.
  • Kindness creates confusion when leaders tolerate conflicts, factions, and groupthink out of fear of being labeled a bad or mean boss.
  • Hard conversations are avoided due to lack of skill, fear of failure, or making the situation worse.
  • Kindness is applied selectively, creating confusion and resentment.
  • Offense‑seeking. Teams (and leaders) look for opportunities to feel offended, diminished, or discredited.
  • Decision‑making. Leaders delay or avoid making timely decisions to prevent upsetting someone, harming progress and trust.
  • Performance management. Avoiding tough conversations about poor performance hurts the individual, the team, and the customer.

The Blunt Truth About Kindness

Kindness isn’t soft or fuzzy. As a leader, it’s crucial to develop kindness with a backbone while guiding teams and customers through the inevitable difficulties, conflicts, and upsets.

  • Be Clear. Clarity is kindness. Provide the resources and truth required to get the job done. These conversations will take longer. The benefit? They allow the team to be innovative and surpass the intended results.
  • Be Direct. Directness with diplomacy prevents misunderstandings and raises standards. Keep the goal and intention in the forefront to move everyone forward.
  • Be Consistent. Consistency builds trust when you tell the truth early, directly, and respectfully. Remember you will need to repeat it many times during meetings and conversations.
  • Be Accountable. Accountability protects people and results through intended actions, not avoidance.
  • Be Courageous. Courage is the highest form of kindness for yourself and others. It guides teams and customers to do what they’ve been avoiding.
  • Be Compassionate. Chances are you’ve had a similar experience. Share a short story about how you handled a situation or relationship to support your own growth.
  • Be Generous. Appreciate each team member’s contribution. Encourage them to brag about their successes too.
  • Be Self‑Aware. Listen to the “tiny voice in your head” before saying something you’ll regret. Stop, breathe, and use silence when your critical voice is too loud.

A Leader’s Self‑Check

  • “Am I being kind or just agreeable?”
  • “Am I helping this person grow or keeping them comfortable?”
  • “Am I avoiding the truth and calling it kindness?”
  • “Am I protecting people through silence at the expense of the team or client?”
  • “Am I being authentic or just saying what is expected of me?”
  • “Are my expectations ego‑based?”
  • “Am I failing to hire the right people required to achieve needed results for customers?”
  • “Am I gaslighting someone because I failed to take responsibility?” (e.g., overscheduling, failing to keep promises, failing to listen, ignoring policies or systems)

Kindness isn’t about keeping people comfortable. It’s about guiding them to succeed. In today’s work world, kindness is required.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

When “Civility” Masks Achieving Intended Results

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Trust and respect are core to effective leadership, and required to achieve intended results. But both erode when leaders hide behind “civility” and insist on polite instead of intentional conversations that move a team, company, and project forward.

While civility can create space for dialogue and reduce friction, surface‑level communication (e.g., civility) is often used as a mask or shield to block accountability for results, relationships, and client care. Used this way, civility enables leaders to talk about issues without addressing them and gives cover for avoiding needed action. This often occurs when the issue has been allowed to grow too long, and solutions seem impossible. Or, the leader just doesn’t have the confidence or skills required.

In companies that reward civility over accountability, leaders avoid tough decisions, delay taking required actions, and limit innovation. Civility shifts from a tool for connection to a strategy for avoidance. It is the way to sidestep unpopular decisions and uncomfortable truths. And when that happens, quality drops, retention suffers, revenues decline, and outcomes take the hit.

Signs of Leadership Avoidance

  • Punishing honesty. People are subtly punished for saying what leaders don’t want to hear.
  • Dodging discomfort. Issues are ignored because leaders don’t want to feel uncomfortable.
  • Civility as a shield. Tough conversations are avoided because they’re seen as “not nice.”
  • No accountability. Responsibility is dumped on others who don’t have the authority to make a difference.
  • Problems spiral. Leaders chase trivial wins while major issues spiral out of control.
  • Conflict avoidance. Teams tiptoe around the elephant in the room and clients fire you.
  • Facts are twisted to make people doubt what they see and hear.
  • Consensus hiding. Decisions are stalled by demanding “everyone agree” to avoid action and failure.
  • Politics over people. Internal politics matter more than taking care of employees or clients.
  • Fear of change stalls execution.

The Bottom Line. This type of leader is often in the wrong job due to poor job fit and/or because their bosses liked them, and not because they can deliver results. This continues as long as the company tolerates rising costs, declining revenues, costly turnover, miscommunication, and mediocre results, and fails to correctly identify the real problem.

Companies need leaders who address issues directly, early, and consistently. Civility helps, but only when paired with clear enforcement and follow‑through. When civility becomes a distraction, it stops being a virtue and becomes a leadership liability.

Effective Leaders: Civility with Backbone

Effective leaders don’t abandon civility. Instead, they:

  • Strengthen civility. Pair it with responsibility and accountability.
  • Improve clarity. Build trust by acting to move an issue, team, or project forward, not just talk about it.
  • Replace avoidance. Raise standards, grow trust, and improve results through direct communication.
  • Demonstrate backbone. Use civility to drive performance, and stop using excuses.
  • Practice self‑awareness. Notice when comfort is replacing clarity and have the tough conversations.
  • Set expectations and follow-through. Be consistent, honor policies, and address issues early.
  • Model accountability with empathy. Use civility for clarity, protect people through action, and manage the process, not personalities.

These behaviors turn civility into a leadership strength rather than a shield for avoidance by taking the required steps and having intentional conversations for required results.

A Leader’s Self‑Check

  • “Am I using civility to connect or to avoid?”
  • “Am I enforcing standards or explaining them away?”
  • “Am I building a culture that works or one that merely talks about working?”
  • “Am I fearing the disruption needed to achieve the results, or trusting the process?”
  • “Am I focused on the wrong areas of this issue or job?”

Civility matters when paired with accountability. Without courage, it’s just decoration.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Be a Bold-Committed Listener and Achieve Stellar Results

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Mastering the art of being a bold, committed listener is not just impressive, it’s a game-changer in your role as a boss and leader. This skill doesn’t go unnoticed. It empowers you to create an environment where team members, customers, and even your bosses can express themselves freely, without fear of you becoming defensive or offended. They feel truly heard and valued, which is a powerful tool in your leadership arsenal.

As a bold listener, you hold the key to unlocking your team’s potential. You can turn a problematic situation, conflict, or poor performance into a positive outcome. Often, the solution is right there, waiting to be heard. By simply listening, you empower your team to find their own solutions, boosting their confidence and satisfaction in their contributions.

Being a bold, committed listener isn’t hard, but it takes your willingness to listen, especially when you don’t want to hear what is said.

How to Be a Bold, Committed Listener Who Values Others

Identify Your Biases. Identifying and acknowledging your biases, snap judgments, and instant assessments about others is essential to becoming a committed listener. Yes, we ALL have them. It’s important to be aware and set them aside when listening to others. This self-awareness is a crucial aspect of effective communication and understanding.

Encourage Face-to-Face Conversations. Either on-site or via online conferencing. Relying on emails or texts will cause miscommunication, and people (including you) will not feel heard. Poor communication is often due to reliance on emojis, misused jargon, inability to articulate true thoughts and feelings, and abbreviations.

Be Present. Do not drive while having a conversation! I cannot say this enough: multi-tasking is a myth. (If you don’t believe me, use a search engine to read about how the brain is wired.) Set aside electronic distractions and anything else that distracts your attention, including internal mental chatter!

Choose Your Words. Be responsible for the words you use when responding to others. Labeling people never goes well and can be offensive. One of the most common labels right now is “narcissist.” Encourage others using these labels to “use their words” to describe their issues and concerns instead of using labels or catch-all phrases.

Silence is Golden. Allow others to use you as a sounding board, which is part of your job as a boss and leader. Ask open-ended questions to direct the conversation and guide them to find the answers for themselves.

Tell Stories. People love stories when they are brief and on-point in the conversation. A well-told story will be what the person will remember for a very long time. Note: Keep people’s names and other identifiers confidential.

Celebrate Unrecognized Achievements. Too often, people downplay what they’ve accomplished and fail to brag!. Be the type of leader who not only hears the successes but also says, “Congrats!”

©Jeannette Seibly 2024 – 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

When Leaders Alienate Team Members, Poor Results, Poor Retention, and Declining Revenues Follow

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This is Part 2 of a 2-part article. This one focuses on the leader’s role in avoiding and overcoming team alienation, which negatively impacts results. Link to Part 1.

When teams are failing, many leaders will claim they “don’t have the right people” as a way to distract others from their own inability or unwillingness to lead effectively.

The problem? It becomes the root cause of alienation, groupthink, and team breakdown, and is often not the real issue. Failure to acknowledge responsibility avoids addressing the leader’s lack of coachability, awareness, and skills required to resolve conflicts and manage projects for clients and company growth.

What’s missing? Leadership accountability for results, believing in each person, and supporting the company, client, and team when issues arise. These issues are more likely to arise when the leader’s negative mindset is focused on lack, failure, and upset over team members’ upsets, attitudes, and lack of commitment to the goal.

The Leader’s Blind Spots:

  • Over‑reliance on a few insiders or select team members
  • Inability and failure to address conflict early
  • Assumption of “I don’t have the right people” and fail to hire for job fit
  • Failure to create structure for success, or created ineffective ones
  • Allow groupthink to fill the vacuum
  • Do not value team members’ contributions
  • Fear of making mistakes or experiencing failure
  • Inappropriate use of tools for decisions (e.g., critical thinking, job fit assessments, over-reliance on AI)
  • Play favorites, create silos and factions
  • Lack the skills to coach people effectively while managing the process
  • Poor facilitation skills
  • Are not accountable and responsible for the results

Your reputation is lost and the team’s performance and innovation decline too.

This is when groupthink, cliques, and those with shared frustrations take over. It’s time for leaders to leverage up and prevent the inevitable chaos.

What can you do before alienation occurs?

If you are experiencing team alienation, talk with an experienced executive coach immediately. Alienation will not resolve itself, and in the meantime, your career options become very limited.

Reset your expectations and mindset.

  • If you expect to fail, you usually will.
  • If you expect problems, they will occur.
  • If you wish for different people on the team, they will wish for a different leader!

Instead, work with your executive coach weekly (or more frequently) to ensure your mindset and focus is on the goal and the process of achieving the intended results.

Get the support required to rebuild trust. This will not happen overnight or after one group meeting. It requires taking responsibility ongoingly and valuing your people in every interaction. Integrity is key … if you are cutting corners, ignoring issues, or allowing conflict to erupt, you have alienated the team.

It starts with you creating conditions for success:

  • Create win-win-win narratives
  • Share stories of other successes
  • Address the facts rather than relying on AI, social media headlines, and other false narratives
  • Ensure each and every team member are acknowledged for their contributions

Reintroduce structure and accountability, or create it. Structure is key, even for those team members that love to create and recreate and recreate some more. Put together the “game plan” and follow it, while holding yourself and team members accountable. Allow for initiatives and innovative ideas, but stay focused on the intention and end goal. Use a dashboard or other means to keep everyone apprised of the progress.

Use objective tools and processes to focus on the project, goals, and intended results. When mistakes and failures happen, and they will, have an objective way in which to address them. Blaming a person or smaller group will only add to dissension, finger pointing, and alienation.

Address groupthink cycles as they occur to stop them from taking over. This can happen very subtly when a group of people have worked together in the past, have hit a “wall,” and are skeptical or fearful of doing anything different. Address and talk through the fears upfront and consistently.

Learn how to achieve alignment. It’s important to learn this skill to avoid the consensus trap of stalling and negating others’ opinions and expertise. This requires courage since many teams use consensus as a way to stop progress, keep traditions, and avoid moving out of their comfort zones. It’s not easy when you have a small group that believes they are right or are unable or unwilling to see the bigger picture.

Remember:

  • The leader’s belief and mindset become the team’s culture
  • Groupthink forms around a leader’s indecisiveness and exclusion of people and ideas
  • All people on the team are the “right people”
  • Leaders need to build alignment
  • Effective leaders have effective coaches

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Today’s Professionals Can’t Afford to Stay Lukewarm – It’s Time to Leverage Up

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Many business professionals today are flying solo in consulting, coaching, or taking on fractional roles, while still relying on the same mindset, habits, and approaches they used years ago. The result? Lukewarm performance, frustrated clients, and stalled careers. It’s not a legacy that successful professionals want to leave.

It’s time to leverage up and elevate your integrity, mindset, and practices so you can deliver real value and empower yourself rather than being unconsciously complacent or fearful.

What Happens When You Fail to Leverage Up

When you stay in your comfort zone, you unintentionally cap your effectiveness. You repeat outdated methods, rely on assumptions, and overlook the habits that limit your impact … no matter what you tell yourself.

The cost is real:

  • Clients lose confidence
  • Employees disengage
  • Revenues decline
  • Your reputation stagnates
  • Your self-talk isn’t positive

Professionals who fail to leverage up often don’t see the problem because they’re too busy doing the work to notice they’ve stopped growing.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

Today’s business environment demands adaptability, emotional intelligence, and integrity. When you don’t elevate your mindset, you unintentionally create risk for the people who depend on you. And, as Warren Buffet would say, without “integrity” the other two won’t matter!

Leaders, consultants, and coaches who stay lukewarm:

  • Miss critical details
  • Rely on outdated thinking
  • Overlook blind spots
  • Fail to build trust
  • Struggle to deliver consistent results

And remember, this isn’t about perfection. It’s about responsibility.

How to Leverage Up Your Effectiveness

  • Be Open. Everyone has a block: an internal barrier that keeps them stuck. Before you dismiss an idea, consider how often you resist feedback, avoid discomfort, or rely on what you already know. Openness is the gateway to growth. Ask open-ended questions to move the conversation forward.
  • Know Thy Self. Most professionals believe they are self-aware. Yet they fail to see how others experience working or interacting with them. Blind spots, defensiveness, and fear of the unknown limit effectiveness. Use job fit assessment tools that provide the scientific validation for objectivity and insights.
  • Hire an Executive Coach. Yes, I know … you don’t believe you can afford to do so. The problem is you cannot afford not to do so! An experienced coach can guide you through challenges, relationships, and opportunities and increase your awareness as you build your legacy.
  • Invest in Yourself. Take at least one course a year. Listen to podcasts that elevate your thinking. Read materials that challenges your assumptions. Growth requires intentional input.
  • Avoid Shiny Objects. Hype is everywhere. Tools, trends, and shortcuts promise miracles. Be responsible for what you adopt and how you guide others. Your credibility depends on discernment.
  • Use a Healthy Ego. Your ego isn’t the enemy … a misused ego is. A healthy ego keeps you focused on results, helps you resist bad habits (e.g., talking over others), and supports confident collaboration.
  • Use Assessments Appropriately. Not all assessments are scientifically or legally sound. Most fail the Department of Labor standards for pre-employment and selection use. Relying on weak tools damages trust and exposes employees and clients to risk.
  • Lead with Integrity When you cut corners, use inappropriate tools, or fail to honor your commitments, you lose your ability to influence a team, system, or client. Integrity is the foundation for leveraging up.

Get Started and Leverage Up

To start the process, use the PXT Select® Leadership Report to provide objective insights into how you think, behave, and make decisions … especially under pressure.

This state-of-the-art tool helps professionals:

  • Understand natural strengths
  • Identify blind spots
  • Improve communication
  • Reduce conflict
  • Strengthen team alignment

These tools (along with an experienced coach) bolster both leaders and team members, especially when miscommunication, conflict, or repeated mistakes have eroded trust.

The Bottom Line

Leveraging up is not optional. It’s the difference between being a professional who merely “does the work” and one who elevates people, systems, and results leaving a positive legacy.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Groupthink Hurts Results, Retention, and Revenues

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This is Part 1 of a 2-part article. Part 1 focuses on teams alienating leaders and team members due to groupthink. Part 2 focuses on how leaders can avoid or overcome team alienation.

Every team comes to the table with long‑held traditions, sacred elephants, and the mindset of “how we’ve always done it.” Even when the leader or team member is steady and capable, the team’s anxiety can turn into quiet resistance, defensiveness, and groupthink where they believe the past matters more than moving forward or telling the truth.

Groupthink erodes trust, stalls decisions, and magnifies every unresolved issue. Slowly, the team disintegrates turning the original problem into an impossible mountain or disbanding entirely. The false sense of unity will eventually fracture the team into silos and factions.

In the process, the team ignores the leader or team member(s).

When Groupthink Takes Hold

In a study by ScienceDirect, “groupthink is more common than one would like to think.” Groupthink emerges when team members prioritize harmony, belonging, or shared frustration over critical thinking, and leads to dysfunctional decision-making.

  • The group reinforces its own beliefs, filters out contradictory information, and rewards conformity.
  • Dissent becomes risky, so no one challenges the emerging “leader we don’t like” narrative.
  • Develop an illusion of invulnerability — the belief that the group’s decision is correct and infallible.
  • Ignore ethical or moral concerns, overlook risks, or fail to consider outside perspectives.

The Escalation Pattern

Once groupthink solidifies:

  • The leader’s decisions are interpreted negatively, regardless of merit.
  • Neutral actions are reframed as evidence of the leader’s incompetence or bias.
  • The group amplifies small mistakes into “proof.”
  • Silence becomes agreement, accelerating the alienation.

The Cost of Groupthink

Alienating a leader or team member, especially a competent one, creates ripple effects:

  • Loss of direction and accountability.
  • Fragmented communication and diminished trust.
  • Increased turnover and political maneuvering.
  • Decline in psychological safety and innovation.
  • Closed doors and opportunities for the team, company, or association.
  • Loss of top talent, avoidable expenses, and poor results are unavoidable.

How to Break the Cycle

To prevent or reverse leader and team alienation:

  • Reintroduce structured decision‑making. Brainstorming, critical thinking, and alignment on decisions (not consensus) are important to ensure active participation of all team members. This also brings up issues that need to be addressed. Do not avoid elephants!
  • Ask each and every person for their input. This includes accepting diverse viewpoints. As the leader, you will need to go around the team several times to ensure all voices are heard.
  • Address cliques and insider groups directly. When you bring a team together for the first time or for each new project, outline expectations, goals, and processes. Also, mention you expect people to work together for the benefit of the client or project goal. This normally needs to be repeated during each meeting.
  • Rebuild trust through transparency and shared goals. How does this client or project benefit others? What can we do to improve the process or delivery?
  • Use objective tools (e.g., assessments, facilitation) to set or reset team dynamics. When hiring, use job-fit assessments to ensure you are hiring the right people for what needs to be done. When selecting people to work on a team, conduct a short interview to ensure they will be committed to the goal of the team. Ensure you are continually improving your facilitation skills.

Leaders and all team members must stay aware of group dynamics, challenge groupthink early, and avoid the trap of blaming others instead of strengthening their own leadership effectiveness. As the leader, it is your responsibility to stop groupthink in its tracks.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

How Do You Handle Feedback without Being Defensive?

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Receiving feedback and hearing it is a skill that many leaders and bosses need to develop. Being defensive is a difficult behavior to overcome since, too often, people want to defend their actions, attitudes, and results.

Why?

They:

  • Find it hard to laugh at themselves
  • Worked hard but failed to ask for help and instead accepted mediocrity
  • Have a perfectionist attitude
  • Feel misjudged (and it may be true)
  • Are overly sensitive to hearing anything that is negative
  • Blame the person delivering the feedback for the way they speak or deliver the information – their excuse for not listening

As a leader, you may cause team members to be defensive when you:

  • Are critical
  • Overreact to situations
  • Expect perfection
  • Take things personally
  • Have poor feedback and coaching skills

The additional problem is, coaching and feedback are difficult to hear when delivered poorly!

Yet, you will find that people excel when they are open and receptive to feedback without being defensive. (Think of well-paid sports people, leaders excelling in their work, entrepreneurs selling their startups, etc.)

How to Hear Feedback without Being Defensive

  • Be open and value the insight, whether you want to hear it or not.
  • Set aside ego. While you may not like being judged, develop a healthy ego that is committed to your success.
  • Ask for clarification or example. Ask open-ended questions, and hear the value offered. (Even when the feedback or coaching is poorly delivered.)
  • Thank the person for their insights. Include their recommendations where appropriate (e.g., if you winging presentations, a plan and practice will make a big difference in your career).
  • Remember, saying you’ll think about it is a different way of being defensive.

How to Deliver Feedback without Being Defensive

  • Talk with a select few people that were impacted or aware of the situation. Be careful about nitpicking someone’s personality. If someone talks too much, instead of saying that, say, “It’s important in these situations that you listen more than talk. And, here’s why.”
  • Use sandwich or direct approach. This depends on the person and the type of feedback you need to deliver.
  • Practice with your coach. Especially if you’re a new leader, or believe the person will be defensive.
  • Keep it simple. No more than two key issues or challenges. Yes, there may be more feedback you feel is necessary. But that can be overwhelming and not helpful. (I’ve seen leaders and bosses give an employee a list of 20 items … the person was overwhelmed and became defensive. Consider, in this case and similar ones, that it is due to poor job fit.) Again, to ensure great results, only provide two at a time and check in with the person to determine progress before adding additional areas for improvement … you find additional feedback is not necessary.
  • Make a plan for improvement. For team members, it’s important that there is a process they can follow and learn from.
    • Either: The most effective choice is to have the person create it (be clear about required outcomes and have a “By When Date” this will occur).
    • Or, provide a process for them to follow, which will not be as effective because there may not be buy in, and will be effective as long as you are managing the process.
  • Now, follow-up and follow-through. Most people skip this … big mistake! You need to have regular check ins to ensure progress is being made. It also shows your commitment to the person’s success.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Do You Need to Hire Salespeople? What Are 5 Key Tips to Ensure They Fit the Job?

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Hiring salespeople can be a challenge. Many look and/or talk the part, but once hired, fail to produce the required results. It’s up to you to improve your selection process to uncover salespeople who can actually sell your product or service, and fit the job requirements.

Remember, it’s always faster, easier, and far less expensive to determine their ability to sell before you hire them. If you don’t, you’ll spend too much money and energy — and face sleepless nights attempting to fix them (and this never works out well for anyone).

5 Tips to Improve Your Selection Process

  1. Listening Skills Are they listening? Can they hear you? Do they respond appropriately? Ask the candidate to summarize the interview or parts of the conversation by asking, “Tell me what you heard?”
  2. Do They Ask Questions? Do they have questions about your company, product, management style, etc.? If not, move on. Candidates who don’t ask questions lack the curiosity, interests, and skills to inquire further.
  3. Are They Calm and Patient? Does the person squirm in their seat? Do they rush the conversation or attempt to finish your sentences? Do they look at you when speaking or listening? While closing is a required skill, it also requires the ability to ask several times in several different ways without being offensive.
  4. Do They Fit the Job? To determine key traits, most salespeople need prospecting, presenting, and closing skills must have the interest to use these skills. Use a qualified job‑fit assessment. Can they do these things? Will they do these things? And can they do these things for your company and product?
  5. Do They Tell the Truth? To objectively answer this question, first use an honesty/integrity assessment to uncover omissions not found in public records. It saves time and money by eliminating candidates who stretch the truth (think customer expectations and fulfillment). Second, always conduct thorough due diligence with final candidates by checking background, education, and other accomplishments.

Bonus Tip: Do They Follow a Sales Process?

Sales Process Discipline. Many salespeople rely on charm, personality, or improvisation. But consistent results require following a repeatable sales process. Notice whether the candidate follows your interview structure, asks clarifying questions, and moves through conversations logically. Salespeople who resist structure rarely produce consistent results.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.