Leadership

Work Well with Anyone, Anywhere at Any Time

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Successful business relationships do not happen overnight. They are created from mutual respect, trust, and experience. The focus is developing win/win/win outcomes that make a positive difference.

Developing the Leadership Skills Required to Work Well with Anyone

  1. Do what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it.
  2. Apologize when you “drop the ball” and keep your word in the future.
  3. Take an interest in the company, people, products, financials, safety, community of others where you work.
  4. Be informed about the interests and concerns of your coworkers, boss, and team. Be able to interact appropriately.
  5. Show respect everyone on the team regardless of their opinions and personalities.
  6. Stop judging people by their manner of dress, background (e.g., education, work experience), or title in a company.
  7. Make it a habit to say “Please” & “Thank You.”
  8. Keep confidences. Don’t talk negatively about other people (aka gossiping).
  9. Level up your listening by setting aside your need to form comments or opinions while others are talking.
  10. Be comfortable with silence.
  11. Ask open-ended questions.
  12. Pay attention, nonverbal gestures and actions speak much louder than your words (80+ percent).
  13. Always, consider other people’s ideas and concerns when developing solutions.
  14. When talking or writing, use KISS: Keep Ideas Simple & Smart

©Jeannette Seibly 2010-2026

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

It’s always challenging to work with so many different personalities and expectations. Developing yourself as an effective leader requires the know-how to work with anyone, anywhere at any time. Contact me for a guide on how to work well with everyone.

 

Let’s Honor Our Commitments and Create Our Legacies

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Too many times, we allow our commitments to get pushed aside. However, at age 55+, time is running out! It’s now or never to create and fulfill our legacies.

Let’s make the commitment to get off the proverbial fence and take those small steps required to move forward and achieve amazing results. The natural inner power and satisfaction that occurs is priceless.

Steps to Forward and Honor Your Legacy

  1. Create a goal and intention. Get real about your true goal and keep it to 10 words or less. The intention is critical because it is your “why.” WRITE them down! Studies have shown that writing engages the brain differently and opens up your creativity and awareness.
  2. Put together a game plan. If the goal is to move to a new apartment or buy a home, write it down on paper! Include the three must‑haves (e.g., A/C, hardwood floors, and new roof), along with the step‑by‑step process.

Example … Many years ago, I sold a home where I had focused my attention and money on the structural concerns (e.g., plumbing, new roof and gutters, tree removal, etc.). I did not have money for “interior design.” When a young couple saw my home and compared it with a home that had all the visual bells and whistles, they bought the other home. Then, they had a flooded basement and wanted to know if they could switch it for my home. Be clear what you want and need upfront and don’t get caught up in the “shiny red object.”

  1. Include budgets or projected “real” costs. These are critical and often overlooked due to the enthusiasm of something new (e.g., What is the projected cost for utilities? If buying, have an independent inspection done … what are the costs to resolve issues found?) Write them down!
  2. Create momentum and results. Take small steps forward so you don’t become overwhelmed emotionally, physically, or mentally. It may require getting the paper and boxes for packing (staying with the “buy or rent” example in #2). A day or two later, sorting what to take with you, what to give away, what to sell, and what to throw away/shred. Be rigorous so unwanted items don’t move with you.
  3. Plan to hit the wall … yes, this IS inevitable. This usually happens when you rely on only one source during the process. Set aside your emotional attachment and select three alternatives. Again, using the original example in #2 … one mortgage company may say you don’t make enough money, while another may say you need extra $$ for mortgage insurance, while the third will charge you a higher interest rate. Do the math, then, pick one after reading the fine-print. Remember, not now is also a valid choice, and making “no decision” is also a choice or decision. (True life example: One family overpaid for a condo, because they had the money to do so. They were excited about their new home. As required, they signed an agreement to not smoke or vape on the property, but ignored it. The fines were steep!)
  4. Celebrate your victories … small and large. Get your brag on!

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

There are times when your commitments aren’t strong enough to move you forward and you stay stuck. What is one thing you can do to get back in action? How can I support you and clarify your goal and needed actions? Contact me.

Are You a Critical Leader?

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Effective leadership style produces intended team results on a regular basis.

Do you:

  • Find fault with other’s ideas and actions?
  • Believe your way is the only right way?
  • Blame mistakes on others?

Being a critical leader or boss can be tiring for both you and your team members. Your attitude and behavior make it difficult to work with you and nearly impossible to learn from you. Until you transform your critical mindset, you will never have a team that produces intended results on a regular basis.

How do you transform your critical mindset to lead an effective team?

Look for opportunities to praise.  Acknowledge others for a job well done, even if it’s a small step or contribution. Consider ideas that may initially seem off-the-wall or inappropriate, and acknowledge contributions in a positive manner.  Your openness will encourage everyone to stretch their thinking and behavior to improve their skills.

Learn from mistakes.  Every mistake can be turned into a learning moment. It’s important to understand the difference between a Zero Tolerance Policy for unacceptable behaviors versus reviewing and learning from mistakes. You and your team inevitably will make mistakes during a new task and new project, or working with new clients. Ensure your systems are up-to-date, and all your employees have the training needed to minimize errors at repetitive tasks. Develop a repeatable process when creating and executing new opportunities to ensure employees are aligned.

Make 2-2-2 your paradigm. Acknowledge two positive things they have done well. Then, share very specific areas for improvement, no more than two. Wrap-up with two positives they have done well. This makes feedback easier to give, and receive! (See Direct Approach vs. Sandwich Approach)

Hire a coach. It’s important for your own career and leadership development that you learn to effectively work with and through people to get the job done. An effective leadership style produces win/wins on a regular basis.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2010 -2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

All leaders need a periodic “checkup” on their effectiveness as a leader. Learn how to improve and produce intended results. Give me a call.

Time to Honor Our Commitments and Stop Fence-Sitting

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Fence‑sitting drains your energy … and those splinters can be painful. And the real exhaustion comes from postponing your goal or dream … and your legacy feels that.

It’s a #1 problem! We all love and hate fence‑sitting … the waiting for the stars to align, our boss or family to give permission, or to have enough time or money. The truth is … perfectionism, ego, and judging others are the real culprits that get in the way of achieving our goals. These fears keep us trapped on the fence feeling comfortable.

Making a commitment to honor our goals and taking actions can be invigorating.

You may be thinking, “Well … I did take action … but …”

  1. The Remy Effect. I have a 13‑pound ginger cat who loves to meet others in the hallway – including dogs. But when a person comes into our home, he runs and hides. Many of you behave in a similar fashion. You’re fearless until you allow fear to dominate you.
  2. Facts versus false information. Yes, there is a lot of false information out there. The challenge is it’s often more comfortable to believe the falsehood and deny the truth. (Example: hiring assessments … many will claim the assessment they are using is validated for pre‑employment and selection use, when in fact, it is not.)
  3. Failure to do ‘complete’ work. Doing just enough will keep you from enjoying the intended results of your legacy. Or you do too much without asking for help! There is a sweet spot for doing what needs to be done without driving yourself crazy and annoying others.

Example: I talked with a successful consultant who had bought books from friends who wanted to become published authors. “The problem,” he lamented, “is that most of these books are poorly written, lack proper editing, and use pictures, layouts, and covers that leave a lot to be desired.” Hiring a book coach would have created a much better legacy!

What’s missing that keeps us on the fence and hold us back?

  1. Awareness of Job Fit. Some people become wealthy by doing the work required in their nicely paid, but not overpaid, job. While others keep attempting to take on careers they believe will make them wealthy faster. Their job or career pursuits are misaligned with their natural interests, thinking styles, and core behaviors. Hire the right coach, take a qualified job‑fit assessment, and write your own resume (AI doesn’t know the difference between truth and fiction)!
  2. Using Your Ingenuity. I continue to be impressed by the ingenuity of people. Some people are rockstars … while others could be rockstars if they stopped trying to mimic others. This is key … we have emotional attachments to mimicking others, often to our own detriment. Get clear. Get real. Get in focused action.
  3. Doing the Work Required. Many people love the idea of sharing their opinions, but not doing the real work required for results. For example: They start a podcast believing they will make a lot of money, only to realize it was another shiny object that distracted them. Learn the art of skill-stacking.

Your legacy demands commitment. Commitment requires action. Your resilience is what keeps you moving forward! Take the actions that will move you off that seemingly comfortable proverbial fence and enjoy your results.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

It’s time to honor your commitment and stop fence-sitting. Learn how to seize the time now to take actions that support your legacy and goals.  Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Negotiation Skills Are Required for Win-Win-Win Outcomes

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Many leaders have not learned a very important skill … the art of negotiation. It’s a skill that must be developed to use with confidence and effectiveness.

Too often, people settle, assume, or avoid conversations altogether if they need to compromise or come up with win-win-win outcomes. This costs the leader, and their business, opportunities, money, and relationships.

True negotiation is not about winning at someone else’s expense. It’s about creating win-win-win outcomes where everyone benefits and the agreement builds trust, clarity, and long-term success. (Resource: Chapter 14, Get Your Brag On!)

“If you want to win, you need to support others winning too.” Jeannette Seibly

Basic Preparation for Effective Negotiation Is Required

Rule #1 – Prep Work

  • Define clear goals and write them down.
  • Identify three “Must-Have” outcomes—rank, circle, and keep them visible.
  • Review your “brag” work and be aware of your metrics (e.g., results, wins, successes, accomplishments, and achievements).

Rule #2 – Research

  • Learn the other party’s goals, challenges, and objections by asking them open-ended questions.

Rule #3 – Be Ready to Walk Away

  • Know your bottom line and ensure ROI beyond the bottom line.
    • Avoid clouding your judgment with emotional attachment to what they are offering. (Hint: It may sound good or amazing, but is it what you really really really want?)

Now, You’re Ready!

 The Meeting

  • Be present and mindful.
  • Use agendas, take notes, and write down agreements immediately.
  • Let them talk first; listen actively.
  • Ask open-ended questions to uncover solutions and to clarify uncertainties.
  • Allow silence (this is a skill you need to develop)

Don’t hedge and address issues directly.

  • Seek common ground, restate agreements clearly. Write them down. (Remember, memories are faulty.)
  • Stay flexible, avoid adversarial tactics.
  • Review agreements at the end and don’t gloss over details.

 Finalize Agreement

  • Document terms, responsibilities, and timelines.
  • Send the information asking them to include anything missing or needing clarification.
  • Include an escape clause in the event things don’t work out as agreed on.
  • Keep all notes organized for clarity and legal accuracy.

You can successfully negotiate your real priorities if you are willing to develop the skill to do so effectively … it requires a win-win-win mindset!

©Jeannette Seibly 2025-2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.

Do you have an issue you are struggling to resolve? Time to develop your negotiation skills. Let’s talk.

Turning Resistance into Resilience Achieves Results

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Most 55+ leaders have been fighting resistance for many years due (e.g., teams, peers, bosses, customers … the list goes on and on).

Some leaders take it personally, while others resort to intimidation or outtalking others. But intimidation and outtalking others do not turn resistance into getting the job done well.

People resist when they feel uncertain, uncomfortable, or imposed on.

When these types of situations occur, use them as signs you may need to strengthen your persuasive communication, trust building, and adaptability to new ideas. It’s time to become resilient and turn others’ resistance into “I can do it.”

Moving Past Others’ Resistance

Build Trust. It starts with hiring right! If you don’t hire for job fit – team members who aren’t interested in the task will delay getting the work done. Be resilient as a leader by assigning the work to the people who enjoy it, or at least will get it done right. While employees (and others) need to feel seen, heard, and valued (these build trust), they also need to be equipped with the resources to get the job done … and that’s your job (another trust builder).

Share Intended Results. Dictating, micromanaging, or using microaggressions only intimidate people. It does not reduce their resistance … they just learn to hide from you. Instead, ask open-ended questions and listen. “I have an assignment that needs to be done by tomorrow. Do you have time to get it done?” Then, use a Rule of 3 to ensure they truly have the interest and willingness to do so. Sharing results and the positive difference they can make is important for employees to feel valued.

Adapt Your Persuasive Style.  Adapting your ability to persuade others is important since many people are a “no” or “I guess I can.” This leaves you wondering if the job will be done well, if at all. Your job as a resilient leader is to provide reinforcement or support in getting an assignment done. If support is needed, offer by providing focused training and development. Trusted employees can surprise you by doing a better job than you!

Accept a “No” and Identify the Source of the Pushback. If a team member says they don’t have time to do it, learn why. Or, move on to the next person. Many times, the project may initially seem overwhelming and no one wants to look incompetent. This will occur if you have not taken the time to outline specifically what you need to have done and the desired results. If you are seen as someone who jumps from fire to fire, or idea to idea, slow down. The tortoise won the race, not the hare.

Give Them a Voice. Provide the goal and how you see it happening. Be open to their input and ideas and incorporate these whenever possible for a win-win-win outcome. Agree on a deadline. (Example, allow time to review a power point and make adjustments). Remember, when you’re giving ownership to a task or project, it reduces resistance along with providing positive reinforcement. Again, don’t micromanage.

The next time you are faced with team member resistance, channel it or embrace it with your leadership resilience.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Being resilient in the face of team member’s resistance is part of being a leader. Learn how to transform your team members from a “no” to a “yes.” Contact me for a confidential conversation.

How to Use Technology and AI to Attract and Hire Top Talent

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Many social posts and media highlight AI’s value in automating hiring. But they overlook that human interaction is still required.

AI and Technology Excels At:

  • Finding candidates
  • Screening for basic qualifications
  • Scheduling interviews
  • Managing communication
  • Tracking candidate progress

AI is Only as Good as a company’s hiring clarity and systems programming:

  • Cannot infer job success factors a company or hiring manager has not defined (e.g., requiring a four‑year degree vs. hiring for job interest (financial interest for accountants).
  • Overvalues credentials (e.g., degrees and job titles) and dismisses non‑traditional work (e.g., gig driver).
  • Cannot improve a job description or ad that is vague, outdated, copied, or contains bias from past hiring decisions. Instead, AI will amplify and automate those flaws and use these biases. The results are not legally defensible.
  • Can send “thank you” letters, but relies on consistent communication programming – or it can damage a company’s reputation.
  • Cannot build trust if auto‑responses feel cold or systems fail to notify managers of scheduled interviews.
  • Doesn’t recognize and value every job candidate as a potential customer, future contract decision maker, or vendor/supplier.

What AI and Technology Cannot Do Right Now:

  • Tell the difference between subjective and objective data
  • Listen and determine a candidate’s coachability, resilience, or job curiosity
  • Evaluate job candidate conduct during an interview (tone, listening skills, trust‑building, authenticity)
  • Make a hiring decision
  • Provide legally compliant interview questions or deep‑dive questions into responses
  • Replace qualified assessments (validated, reliable, legally defensible tools)
  • Note: AI‑powered personality quizzes are not validated for pre‑employment or promotion use.

AI Legal Risks Often Overlooked:

  • Several states require transparency when AI is used in hiring
  • Some states require bias audits of automated hiring tools
  • The EEOC has issued guidance on AI discrimination

Companies relying on AI without understanding these requirements expose themselves to compliance risk and potential legal challenges.

AI is a tool … not a decision maker. Human discernment is still the differentiator and a critical piece in the hiring and selection process.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Written with help from AI

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.

Want or need to improve your hiring results? We all do. Let’s schedule a conversation to determine where you need to focus first. Contact me to understand and use the power of objective data when hiring.

What Are 5 Confidence Builders Needed to Produce Amazing Results?

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Confidence is required to build your career, professional reputation, and results. The challenge? Allowing saboteurs (e.g., factions and people with ulterior motives) to deplete your confidence. Then, you do your best to shrink who you are and deny your own inner power when attempting to handle sticky situations and complex working relationships. With poor results.

Here are 5 practices to develop and build your inner power and confidence!

Believe in Yourself. It’s challenging when you face a setback, error, or rejection. Remember, everyone makes mistakes and experiences failures. Take a moment to breathe. Embrace what you learned from the recent experience. Now, engage with your executive coach and regain your focus and confidence! Self-belief is your key to confidence and empowerment, and is an ongoing skill that you will need to develop as you move forward.

Be Present. Don’t let your mental thoughts, feelings of fear, or multitasking distract you from the present moment. These can hinder your results and relationships! When engaging in conversations, attending meetings, or participating in events, give your undivided attention to the speaker. You’ll be pleasantly surprised by the new insights you glean from listening, even when you think you already know the information – there is always more to learn!

Be a Results Producer. Going through the motions without a conscious intention or outcome to improve the quality of the situation or relationship isn’t taking focused action.

To achieve intended win-win-win results, you need to:

  • Get honest about the actions you are taking and why
  • Prepare for and have the tough and needed conversations required to move forward
  • Focus on quality and workability of performance challenges, not personality differences

Be Coachable. Ask for help! Recognize that you don’t have all the answers, and often, when you approach people, projects, and situations with “fear” written on your face, they hide from you. By choosing the right coach, you can witness your confidence bloom with newfound clarity and composure. This openness to coaching is a powerful tool for your personal and professional growth.

Get Your Brag On! Pay attention to your daily activities and wins by keeping a written log of your achievements … no matter how small. When it’s time for a job promotion, job interview, board meeting, sales presentation, or pitch for your book or product, you’re ready! Your brags make a big difference in building your confidence. They also build your reputation, credibility, and ability to influence others!

©Jeannette Seibly 2023-2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Building self-confidence is a daily practice that requires you to recognize when saboteurs appear. Contact me for a confidential conversation to ensure you’re moving forward rather than staying stuck.  

Using Hiring Assessments to Revive Your Bottom Line

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“I started using the right hiring tools and have improved my bottom line.” President, Engineering Company

Companies everywhere must focus on strategies to improve team performance and revive their bottom line. Today, more than ever, there are many qualified job candidates seeking employment. But one bad hire can hurt a company’s retention, revenues, and results.

It starts with hiring and selecting the right employees for the right job … aka job fit, the first time. The challenge is too many companies spend more time evaluating equipment and systems than focusing on using the right tools and hiring practices to find and attract the right people who will use these systems.

“It is not experience that counts, or college degrees or other accepted factors – success hinges on fit with the job.” (Source: Harvard Business Review, Vol. 58, No. 5)

Today, more than ever, collecting objective data by using the right assessments for hiring and selecting the right employees will determine your company’s success and revenues.

Cost of Poor Hiring Practices

As a leader, you know your turnover rate. In fact, you may be proud that it is below industry standards. Yet, the truth is, you do not know how the actual costs of your current hiring practices impact your bottom line. (Think of the client you just lost and the intangible costs!)

Now is a great opportunity to calculate the cost of a bad hire, and how much it costs you to promote the wrong person, or lose a talented team member. When you do this, you will realize you’re losing money each and every quarter, even though your bottom line may be acceptable … not great … just OK!

Not All Assessments Are Created Equal

Not all assessments are designed for hiring and selection purposes. For example, AI‑powered personality quizzes are not validated for pre‑employment or promotion use. Using assessments that have not been statistically validated for pre-employment and selection purposes can get you in legal trouble, and have you rely on subjective, not objective data. Also, the wrong assessment will cause you to hire the wrong person for the right job OR hire the right person for the wrong job.

Why? People are like icebergs: they only let you see what they want you to see and what you don’t see under the surface is often far more significant and costly.

Using the wrong assessment or no assessment at all, allows candidates to tell you what you want to hear not what you need to hear. (Note: most hiring managers miss lies, misinterpret facts, and fail to listen to what a job candidate is actually saying. Deep diving using the Rule of 3 can discern the truth and overcome these issues, if you are listening.)

For example, candidates will…

  • Talk about the skills and talents they don’t use appropriately. (Or, haven’t used ever.)
  • Share achievements they didn’t accomplish. (Team work v. individual contributions.)
  • Win the job offer and not be the same person that shows up to work. (Or, ghosts you!)

These avoidable hiring mistakes will hinder your ability to revive your bottom line, and improve your retention and results.

Use the Right Assessment to Ensure Job Fit

You would not use a screwdriver to put a nail in the wall. The right tool is a hammer. Using the right assessment tools are no different.

There are over 3,000 assessments in the market today. Most do not meet the Department of Labor’s 13 Guidelines for Using Pre-Employment and Selection Assessments (See: Testing and Assessment: An Employer’s Guide to Good Practices, Department of Labor).

How do you choose the right assessment to determine job fit and core values?

There are two options:

  1. Read the DOL’s 13 Guidelines (citation noted two paragraphs above) and review the technical manual for each assessment. A qualified assessment will have a technical manual showing statistically that it meets the validity and reliability guidelines and all other requirements for pre-employment and selection purposes. The key is to ask for the technical manual and refuse to use an assessment for pre-employment and selection purposes without one.
  2. Talk with an assessment expert to guide you through the process.

When you take the time to select the right assessments and use them as directed, they work and will positively revive your bottom line.

*Source: “Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues, and Results!”

©Jeannette Seibly, 2015-2026

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.

Do you have questions about how to use qualified assessments to get the best results? Contact me to understand the power of objective data.

The Power of Discernment Improves Retention, Revenues, and Results

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When researching this important skill, I discovered that discernment can have a religious context. This article only focuses on leaders and bosses developing and utilizing this important skill. 

Every leader must deal with data, people and situations where lies are told, false truths are believed, and subterfuge gets in the way of achieving intended results and win-win-win outcomes. It’s where your ability as a leader must develop the skill of discernment to support your retention, revenues, and results. That is how you build trust and loyalty.

Definition: Discernment is the skill in making careful distinctions, especially in matters of truth, value, or character, and often involves making wise judgments. (Merriam Webster)

Utilizing this skill requires looking beyond the obvious, integrating your experience and emotional intelligence, and noticing discrepancies in data, conversations, and situations. Your integrity and ethics can support you (or not) in working through these insights instead of relying solely on superficial appearances or false facts. It’s always better to admit you don’t know the truth, rather than, lie about it.

How Do Lies and Half-Truths Occur?

When you rely on:

  • People’s words. Many people are poor communicators and listeners.
  • Social posts and media: There are many false facts.
  • Feelings and Skepticism: These often get in the way of hearing your intuition or gut.
  • Authority, Title or Degrees: Too many people fail to dive deeply into the basics and misstate facts and potential outcomes.

How to Improve Your Ability to Discern Fact from Fiction

First, and foremost … remember … discernment is a process. There will be times you will be wrong! When this happens, use diplomacy and apologize. Then, move on.

Breathe and Allow Silence. Put aside your know-it-all mindset in conversations. Too often you attempt to cover up uncomfortable pauses by filling in the silence. Your impatience gets in the way (often) and you miss important data and other information.

Listen and Learn. Ask open-ended questions to get started. Then, ask direct questions when focusing on the facts and truth. When responses go off track, bring their focus back to the topic at hand. Example: It’s very important during hiring, job promotions, and job transfers to be open to hearing what you don’t want to hear.

Deep Dive. Use the Rule of Three to determine the truth and relevant facts. Remember, spotting lies or exaggerations are far harder than people think.

Develop Your Intuition. Feelings are not the same as intuition or gut reactions. Feelings are past-based and signal an issue or issues you’ve not handled yet. Intuition comes out of the blue. It won’t tell you what to do but signals there’s something more to learn. Rely on conversations and not mental gyrations to uncover the truth (e.g., be careful of your biases or snap judgments).

Misinterpretation. This happens often. Too many people, including leaders and bosses, have poor listening and communication skills. When speaking they are unable to adequately put into words the facts — they are not lying, they are limited in their ability to express themselves. When this happens, ask the person to show you or draw a diagram of the issue.

Leadership Blind Spots. We all have them. These can get in the way of being open to hearing what others have to say, and clarifying what is true and what is not. Use a qualified job fit assessment to discover what your blind spots are.

Temper Your Need to Be Right. Egos discount what others have to say, or diminish or dismiss their ideas, concerns, or thoughts. I know of a manager that normally makes people feel wrong when they state a fact that he doesn’t agree with. But instead of acknowledging his weakness … he questions people to the point of being ineffective and discourages them from wanting to work with him. This is not discernment! It’s just poor management skills.

What if you are the liar, fearmonger or manipulator spinning things to be different? This can happen when you are unprepared, wanting to look good, or you just don’t care about the results. Remember, the truth normally (almost always) comes out.

Note for skeptics. While you have a difficult time believing anything anyone has to say … there are truthful facts based on the data, person, and situation. Learn how to discern what is true by using your skepticism wisely.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.

Discernment is a skill learned over time. Understanding your blind spots as a leader can help you discern what is true and what is not. Contact me to go deeper and uncover the power of developing of your discernment skills.