professional development

Using Hiring Assessments to Revive Your Bottom Line

May 11, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

“I started using the right hiring tools and have improved my bottom line.” President, Engineering Company

Companies everywhere must focus on strategies to improve team performance and revive their bottom line. Today, more than ever, there are many qualified job candidates seeking employment. But one bad hire can hurt a company’s retention, revenues, and results.

It starts with hiring and selecting the right employees for the right job … aka job fit, the first time. The challenge is too many companies spend more time evaluating equipment and systems than focusing on using the right tools and hiring practices to find and attract the right people who will use these systems.

“It is not experience that counts, or college degrees or other accepted factors – success hinges on fit with the job.” (Source: Harvard Business Review, Vol. 58, No. 5)

Today, more than ever, collecting objective data by using the right assessments for hiring and selecting the right employees will determine your company’s success and revenues.

Cost of Poor Hiring Practices

As a leader, you know your turnover rate. In fact, you may be proud that it is below industry standards. Yet, the truth is, you do not know how the actual costs of your current hiring practices impact your bottom line. (Think of the client you just lost and the intangible costs!)

Now is a great opportunity to calculate the cost of a bad hire, and how much it costs you to promote the wrong person, or lose a talented team member. When you do this, you will realize you’re losing money each and every quarter, even though your bottom line may be acceptable … not great … just OK!

Not All Assessments Are Created Equal

Not all assessments are designed for hiring and selection purposes. For example, AI‑powered personality quizzes are not validated for pre‑employment or promotion use. Using assessments that have not been statistically validated for pre-employment and selection purposes can get you in legal trouble, and have you rely on subjective, not objective data. Also, the wrong assessment will cause you to hire the wrong person for the right job OR hire the right person for the wrong job.

Why? People are like icebergs: they only let you see what they want you to see and what you don’t see under the surface is often far more significant and costly.

Using the wrong assessment or no assessment at all, allows candidates to tell you what you want to hear not what you need to hear. (Note: most hiring managers miss lies, misinterpret facts, and fail to listen to what a job candidate is actually saying. Deep diving using the Rule of 3 can discern the truth and overcome these issues, if you are listening.)

For example, candidates will…

Talk about the skills and talents they don’t use appropriately. (Or, haven’t used ever.)
Share achievements they didn’t accomplish. (Team work v. individual contributions.)
Win the job offer and not be the same person that shows up to work. (Or, ghosts you!)

These avoidable hiring mistakes will hinder your ability to revive your bottom line, and improve your retention and results.

Use the Right Assessment to Ensure Job Fit

You would not use a screwdriver to put a nail in the wall. The right tool is a hammer. Using the right assessment tools are no different.

There are over 3,000 assessments in the market today. Most do not meet the Department of Labor’s 13 Guidelines for Using Pre-Employment and Selection Assessments (See: Testing and Assessment: An Employer’s Guide to Good Practices, Department of Labor).

How do you choose the right assessment to determine job fit and core values?

There are two options:

Read the DOL’s 13 Guidelines (citation noted two paragraphs above) and review the technical manual for each assessment. A qualified assessment will have a technical manual showing statistically that it meets the validity and reliability guidelines and all other requirements for pre-employment and selection purposes. The key is to ask for the technical manual and refuse to use an assessment for pre-employment and selection purposes without one.
Talk with an assessment expert to guide you through the process.

When you take the time to select the right assessments and use them as directed, they work and will positively revive your bottom line.

*Source: “Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues, and Results!”

©Jeannette Seibly, 2015-2026

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.

Do you have questions about how to use qualified assessments to get the best results? Contact me to understand the power of objective data.

Feel the Fear. What Are You Waiting For?

May 7, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Yes, I’ve written about this topic … a lot … and I still get questions about waiting and stalling to take the actions required to pursue your dreams or next chapter. This article focuses on how fear is the underlying culprit and waiting becomes the excuse or trap for staying where you are.

Your fears quietly shape and limit your choices. They keep you waiting for situations and people to change so you feel comfortable moving forward. You may read self-help books and listen to podcasts to motivate yourself. These actions can help. But they often keep you waiting, thinking and dreaming instead of taking the actions required to move forward.

When you fail to acknowledge your fear — that apprehension lurks beneath the waiting. Let’s delve into the fear patterns and learn how to recognize them. This can provide the awareness needed to keep you moving forward and taking the actions required.

Fear Doesn’t Sound Like Fear

It often sounds very reasonable:

“I’ll start when…”
“I don’t have enough information…”
“I’ll be ready when …”

Fear shows up as:

overthinking
perfectionism
procrastination
staying busy instead of focused

But the underlying true fears are:

Not feeling safe
Alone and not belonging
Ability to make the right choices

Let’s shift these fears:

from waiting to choosing
from fear to awareness
from dreaming to doing

The Parts Most People Miss

What many people miss when addressing these fears – we all have them — learning how to acknowledge them and let them support us in moving forward. Remember, fear doesn’t occur when you’re comfortable. Fear pops up when you need to make changes … whether you want to change or not.

Notice I didn’t say “wait for the fear to dissolve.” Fear isn’t going to do that on its own. You need to acknowledge your fears, take baby steps, and stay in action when the going gets tough.

Fear of not feeling safe.

Inner strength — physical, mental, and emotional — develops when you do the work instead of going through the mental gymnastics and excuses as to why you can’t. Consider hiring a trainer, therapist and coach to guide you through these processes.

Here’s the key: do the work to the best of your ability. (Yes, reread that and write it down.) Over time, you will see an amazing shift in results. Fear won’t be so loud. Let your new attitude shine.

Fear of not making the right choices.

Every choice has a benefit and a consequence. Feel the fear and stop waiting … do the best you can with the information you currently have.

I remember buying a nice new condo that I enjoyed the first few months before it turned into the condo from h$*&. I took a loss when I finally sold it. But since then, looking back, I can see the benefit of having had to move … I now live in a much nicer home.

Fear of being alone and not belonging.

This can be the hardest one for most people who aren’t deep introverts or hermits. The fear of being alone or not belonging has you and others hanging onto friends, family members, neighbors, or community members. This may not be in your best interest.

This fear of letting go keeps you from growing and evolving in your personality, knowledge, and capabilities.

As you move forward, determine who you stay in connection with, and in what circumstances you stay part of a group, because not everyone is rooting for your success.

A client shared about a family member asking, “Don’t you get lonely not attending family get-togethers?”

His reply: “Not really.”

What he didn’t say — because it would have created more brouhaha — was that he often left family gatherings feeling diminished and emotionally beaten up.

As You Move Forward

Stop waiting. It won’t get any easier as time goes on and fear hangs around.

Feel the fear and move forward with awareness and intention. Talk with your coach, therapist, or mentor (or all three) to determine if the fear is valid or just holding you back.

Embrace the freedom available when taking action and enjoying things you’ve put off, ignored, or haven’t yet discovered. Healthful pursuits help you grow and develop inner strength and safety.

Examples:

Take a chance:

You won’t know if you enjoy golf until you take lessons and play.
Artistic pursuits? Same thing — take the lessons and see what happens.

Don’t be afraid of one-and-done.

I really wanted to learn how to ski. It took a while, but I finally learned — and stopped once I hit the intermediate level. I haven’t skied since. My goal was accomplished.

Welcome a new-found goal.

Publishing books (best sellers). I learned, made mistakes, stopped waiting, and put the fear aside to publish my next books.

The Truth About Fear

Fear doesn’t magically go away.
Learn how to acknowledge your fear and stop waiting for that “perfect moment.”
Listen to your intuition … because there are times fears can be a good friend or ally.

Now … stop waiting and move forward.

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Fear doesn’t disappear — but your willingness to act in the face of fear changes everything. If you’re ready to shift from waiting to doing, take the next step today and contact me. Your future self will thank you.

The Power of Discernment Improves Retention, Revenues, and Results

May 5, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

When researching this important skill, I discovered that discernment can have a religious context. This article only focuses on leaders and bosses developing and utilizing this important skill.

Every leader must deal with data, people and situations where lies are told, false truths are believed, and subterfuge gets in the way of achieving intended results and win-win-win outcomes. It’s where your ability as a leader must develop the skill of discernment to support your retention, revenues, and results. That is how you build trust and loyalty.

Definition: Discernment is the skill in making careful distinctions, especially in matters of truth, value, or character, and often involves making wise judgments. (Merriam Webster)

Utilizing this skill requires looking beyond the obvious, integrating your experience and emotional intelligence, and noticing discrepancies in data, conversations, and situations. Your integrity and ethics can support you (or not) in working through these insights instead of relying solely on superficial appearances or false facts. It’s always better to admit you don’t know the truth, rather than, lie about it.

How Do Lies and Half-Truths Occur?

When you rely on:

People’s words. Many people are poor communicators and listeners.
Social posts and media: There are many false facts.
Feelings and Skepticism: These often get in the way of hearing your intuition or gut.
Authority, Title or Degrees: Too many people fail to dive deeply into the basics and misstate facts and potential outcomes.

How to Improve Your Ability to Discern Fact from Fiction

First, and foremost … remember … discernment is a process. There will be times you will be wrong! When this happens, use diplomacy and apologize. Then, move on.

Breathe and Allow Silence. Put aside your know-it-all mindset in conversations. Too often you attempt to cover up uncomfortable pauses by filling in the silence. Your impatience gets in the way (often) and you miss important data and other information.

Listen and Learn. Ask open-ended questions to get started. Then, ask direct questions when focusing on the facts and truth. When responses go off track, bring their focus back to the topic at hand. Example: It’s very important during hiring, job promotions, and job transfers to be open to hearing what you don’t want to hear.

Deep Dive. Use the Rule of Three to determine the truth and relevant facts. Remember, spotting lies or exaggerations are far harder than people think.

Develop Your Intuition. Feelings are not the same as intuition or gut reactions. Feelings are past-based and signal an issue or issues you’ve not handled yet. Intuition comes out of the blue. It won’t tell you what to do but signals there’s something more to learn. Rely on conversations and not mental gyrations to uncover the truth (e.g., be careful of your biases or snap judgments).

Misinterpretation. This happens often. Too many people, including leaders and bosses, have poor listening and communication skills. When speaking they are unable to adequately put into words the facts — they are not lying, they are limited in their ability to express themselves. When this happens, ask the person to show you or draw a diagram of the issue.

Leadership Blind Spots. We all have them. These can get in the way of being open to hearing what others have to say, and clarifying what is true and what is not. Use a qualified job fit assessment to discover what your blind spots are.

Temper Your Need to Be Right. Egos discount what others have to say, or diminish or dismiss their ideas, concerns, or thoughts. I know of a manager that normally makes people feel wrong when they state a fact that he doesn’t agree with. But instead of acknowledging his weakness … he questions people to the point of being ineffective and discourages them from wanting to work with him. This is not discernment! It’s just poor management skills.

What if you are the liar, fearmonger or manipulator spinning things to be different? This can happen when you are unprepared, wanting to look good, or you just don’t care about the results. Remember, the truth normally (almost always) comes out.

Note for skeptics. While you have a difficult time believing anything anyone has to say … there are truthful facts based on the data, person, and situation. Learn how to discern what is true by using your skepticism wisely.

Discernment is a skill learned over time. Understanding your blind spots as a leader can help you discern what is true and what is not. Contact me to go deeper and uncover the power of developing of your discernment skills.

A Rewarding Life Requires Showing Up for Yourself

April 30, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

We all believe a rewarding life requires success … something external to ourselves … the accolades, material possessions (e.g., designer clothes, fancy vehicle), promotions, eating at the best restaurants … to name a few.

These are the moments when we override our own well‑being to meet external expectations.

But what if showing up for yourself truly means honoring your needs, aligning with your values, supporting your health, not skipping healthful eating habits, and being present and responsible when making your daily choices?

For many leaders, showing up for yourself is the hardest part, and often creates feelings of guilt, resistance, or fear when they start choosing themselves. Because in our society, when people do things for themselves, they are often considered selfish.

Consider, it’s the small, daily, consistent choices that build self-trust and self-resilience for building a rewarding life … because how you show up for yourself becomes part of the legacy you leave.

10 Habits That Matter

What are my needs? Identify and prioritize them by reflecting on what your body says is important. Pause long enough to ask and listen to, “What do I need right now?” Listen to your intuition. Then, gently investigate what feels “off” or unmet in your life — physically, emotionally, or mentally. Then, make it a habit to schedule time to meet those needs, whether it’s rest, exercise, or a hobby.
Set Boundaries and Say No, or Say Yes. If you are constantly saying “no,” … then, take a breath before saying “yes.” And vice-versa. Remember, doing things you don’t want to do or that don’t match your values will drain your energy. Failing to say yes to doing what you really want to do and allowing your fears and self-doubts to get in the way will drain your energy.
Keep It Simple and Smart. Participate in life willingly. Journal daily, walk several times weekly, and drink plenty of water. Get together frequently with friends, neighbors, and family members who you enjoy. These simple activities create good health and well-being.
Be Flexible. As you move through life changes, your point of view, things you enjoy, even foods you used to like or hate will change. Embrace these changes. Explore what else you may have ignored because of old outdated beliefs.
Invest in Personal Growth. This is often overlooked by the excuse, “I cannot afford it. My employer won’t pay for it.” However, reading, learning new skills, being curious, and becoming resourceful will build confidence and open new opportunities. (And, most of these are free.) Use AI as a tool to inquire into what else may be intriguing. Now schedule the class, read the book, and enjoy doing the work. Action builds momentum by taking small steps forward.
Practice Self-Compassion. We are almost always harder on ourselves than on others. Learn the art of grace and forgiveness. Carrying around guilt or regrets do not support you or your future. Talk with a therapist to address internal roadblocks. Also, hire the right coach to move you forward to achieve a long-awaited goal.
Surround Yourself with Support. Choose people and environments that uplift you and support your goals in life. Select people to support your health and welling being, work with a mentor (in addition to your coach) to stay up-to-date with work changes. Join a work, community, or volunteer team that elevates your creativity. These choices and actions will naturally remove the naysayers, skeptics, and others that impede you moving forward.
Protect Your Self-Care. Rest instead of pushing. Eat nourishing foods that you enjoy. Remember, your energy is important. And so is your environment since it feeds your energy. Schedule small increments of time daily to declutter your space. Don’t forget to shred, clean, and give away old files, clothes, paper, furniture, and other material items you don’t use. Your energy will thank you for the space, which is now unencumbered and allows you to create what’s next.
Indulge in Joy. Allow yourself a favorite snack, a movie, book, or a hobby and participate without guilt.
Brag. Use a tracker on your smart phone or watch when exercising or walking. Write down daily accomplishments in your “brag” journal. Share with friends, and even your boss. This builds self‑trust, self-confidence, and the momentum required to move forward!

These 10 habits will have you celebrating yourself. And celebrating yourself is the key to showing up more and more in your own life. Once you engage in these habits, what great rewards are now showing up for you?

Showing up for yourself requires YOU. Schedule your Legacy Coaching Session today and take the first step toward moving forward in a career, pursuing a goal, or simply enjoying your life more. Contact me for a confidential conversation.

How to Use Adversity to Make You Stronger

April 27, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Adversity has always been part of leadership. What matters most is how you choose to respond to it. Every challenge offers lessons that can strengthen your leadership and open the door to new opportunities.

In leadership, adversity is any disruption that forces change before you feel ready. (Let’s be honest … we’re never ready.) It can be external, internal, or a mix of both — and every leader encounters it. The difference between thriving and struggling often comes down to how you respond. And, believe it or not, you have a choice.

Adversity also brings uncertainty, frustration, fear, and even grief. These reactions are normal. Acknowledging your feelings and facts are the first step toward moving forward with clarity and strength.

Attempting to avoid adversity has negative consequences. When leaders ignore breakdowns or lie about mistakes or failures, they repeat mistakes, lose credibility, and weaken team trust. Innovation slows, and opportunities slip away. In addition, top team members leave (some while still collecting their paychecks).

Addressing adversity head-on prevents these costly setbacks. Working through adversity is never an easy process, especially when you’re not ready for it. But the good news is, you can do it. Remember, your team takes its cues from you. When you do the work, they follow your lead. When you avoid it, they mirror that too. Your willingness to grow, directly influences your team’s ability to navigate adversity and come out stronger.

7 Tips to Make You and Your Team Stronger

Get Real About What Happened. Everyone has experienced mistakes, failures, and unexpected adversity. There’s no shame in it. Breakdowns in projects and relationships can be due to things you did or didn’t do, and include relying on the way things have been done in the past. Some life and business disasters are beyond your control. Regardless, it’s important that you stop and assess what truly happened and tell the truth. Putting frosting on mud pie and calling it a cake doesn’t change it from a mud pie!

TIP: Take time to objectively review what happened using both good and not-so-good numbers and metrics. This process will tell you a story if you listen. Then, you are ready to move forward powerfully.

For example, Brad faced a major team conflict and hoped it would get resolved without him having to do anything. But after talking with his executive coach, he learned that was a fool’s game. So he prepared, talked with the team about his understanding of the conflict and asked the team for their input. Then, they brainstormed solutions. The following week, the team was working together and producing intended results the customer required. What had happened? Brad didn’t allow adversity to win — and neither did the team. Once he finally listened, allowed initiatives and let the team step up, the adversity that they had allow to stall them, lost its power.

Let Go of the Old. Emotional attachments to practices and systems can keep adversity around for a long time. Instead, look to see what is no longer working: system, hiring practices, team interactions, conflicts, or task assignments (to name a few).

TIP: If there is a team conflict, get it resolved. If you have a poor working relationship with a co-worker or boss, get it resolved. I think you get the idea …

Develop Empathy and Compassion. This can be difficult when you have little empathy for yourself and others. Seeing situations from others’ points of view makes it easier for people to feel heard by you. It also becomes easier for them to listen to you!

TIP: To develop your empathy skills and inner compassion, talk with a qualified coach or therapist, and do the inner work required. While there are also books and videos to guide the process and awareness … these do not replace working with a good therapist. Remember, there are no shortcuts!

Develop Inner Confidence. Fake it until you make it is an old cliché where people imitated confidence, competence, and an optimistic mindset. But fake confidence can be easily spotted and creates distrust. Instead, develop true inner confidence which in turn creates success.

TIP: To develop your inner confidence, work on a project with your team. Hire the right coach to guide you and the team along the way to ensure success and keep everyone focused.

Be Responsible for What You Are Saying and Sharing. Today’s focus on authenticity and transparency can backfire when sharing TMI (too much information). It can damage relationships and the ability of people to trust you! This includes what you share with customers and top talent.

TIPS:

Keep a private journal and write down your thoughts and feelings. Not everything needs to be shared.
Develop mindful resilience by forgiving yourself and others. (This is an inner exercise for you only. Do not tell others, “I forgive you.” Why? Because doing so only creates more adversity.)
Work with your coach and craft conversation points to share with your team and customers when sharing stories, bad news, or taking a new direction.

Focus Forward. Stop rehashing what happened in the past (and any personal wounds) and focus conversations on where you are going. Include sharing the actions you and your team are taking, and the results you are experiencing. This is how you look for new opportunities inside adversity.

TIP: Work with a trained facilitator to guide you and your team to uncover new systems, products, and services.

Practice Thanks! Everyone loves appreciation. Saying “please”, “thank you”, and “great work” is important. When done authentically, your teams grow and your customers feel valued.

TIP: Get your copy of Get Your Brag On! Learn how to brag yourself and your team. Then, share with confidence the successes you, and your team and customers have had without sounding like a braggart!

It takes brave and committed leaders to use adversity as a launching pad to transform a situation, project, and/or relationship into a positive outcome. Doing it in an effective way creates the opportunities for you to grow stronger.

Adversity will always be part of leadership. When you choose to learn from it, you strengthen your leadership, your team, and your ability to seize new opportunities. Contact me for additional insights

Coaching Removes the Ways We Self Sabotage

April 21, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Successful leaders and bosses know that having a coach isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. While business professionals believe the do-it-yourself approach works just fine, many learn the hard way it doesn’t work. Doing it yourself is how we self-sabotage our progress, awareness, and ability to move upward.

Many up-and-coming leaders quit, change their goal to reflect what progress they have made, or fall victim to the allure of some shiny object. At that point, the goal of being a leader has been sidelined, dreams diminished, and the vision for success forgotten. This happens more often than leaders realize.

In today’s 2026 workplace—where hybrid teams, AI-driven decisions, rapid change, and increased burnout are the norm—these patterns of self-sabotage are even more costly. Uncovering the ways we self-sabotage is why we need the right coach. Having the right coach allows you to get real about your goals, keeps you focused, and reawakens your commitment to succeed. It’s a critical component to your success as a leader.

11 Self‑Sabotaging Beliefs That Hold Leaders Back

I can do it myself. Unfortunately, many DIYers think they can be their own coach. Listening to yourself is a fool’s game and rarely gets you to where you want to go. In 2026, self-coaching is even harder with constant workplace noise, shifting priorities, and increased pressure to perform.
A good coach needs a certification. Certificate programs can be helpful and provide technical skills. However, the right coach with experience, powerful listening skills, and the ability to customize ideas to your unique situation is far more powerful. That kind of skill can only be learned by a coach with extensive experience.
It’s too expensive. Not necessarily. How much are your career, time, family and financial future worth? Today’s leaders also recognize the cost of burnout, stalled promotions, and poor team relationships—areas where coaching pays for itself.
My company won’t pay for it, so it must not be important. There comes a time when you have to value yourself, your career, and be willing to invest in both to ensure your success. Many companies today expect leaders to take ownership of their own development.
Coaching is only for people who don’t have what it takes. Wrong! Coaching is for anyone and everyone wanting to take the next step up in their career. Every great leader has a coach! Having a confidential sounding board helps you become aware of your blind spots and transform them. Yes, everyone has blind spots … including you!
If you work harder, you will be successful. Working harder is not the answer. Working smarter, not harder, means doing things in a way that is effective and efficient, and gives you the ability to achieve intended results. The right coach will guide you to work smarter—especially important now with AI tools, hybrid teams, and constant change.
I’m doing fine and don’t need a coach to prepare me for the next step. This a very common blind spots for many leaders. Remember, moving up often requires knowing the “unwritten rules and practices.” Today, these rules are even more complex due to remote visibility challenges, shifting alliances, and evolving expectations.
I have friends and family who provide me with lots of advice. Yes, many people do. While they mean well, most friends and family members don’t have the courage to tell you what you really need to hear. And, they lack the experience at your new level. As a result, you miss out on the critical factors required to make better decisions, build stronger teams, and achieve intended results. This is exactly why you need the right coach.
I have too much work to do and cannot take on anything else. If this describes you, coaching should be at the top of your list. Most coaching comes just in time, when you need it and when it can provide the greatest impact. In 2026, leaders who delay getting support often experience burnout or stalled careers and missed opportunities.
I’ve already hit the glass ceiling and no coach can change that. Nonsense! Anyone can be a successful leader with the right coach navigating them forward. Additionally, success today is about more than just technical and financial skills. It requires being forward-thinking, team-oriented, and goal-driven … all areas where the right coach makes a huge difference. Today, relationship intelligence (RQ) and credibility are now essential, in addition to emotional intelligence (EI) and emotional integrity.
My assessment says I’m doing just fine. Most assessments are not focused on job-fit and becoming an effective leader. This is a major form of self‑sabotage. Many leaders rely on personality tests, team‑building tools, or “fun” assessments that have nothing to do with developing leadership. When you use the wrong type of assessment, you get misleading data, overlook real issues, and make decisions based on how people want to be seen rather than how they actually think, behave, and perform on the job. In 2026, with increased complexity, hybrid work, and rapid decision cycles, leaders cannot afford guesswork. Only qualified, validated job‑fit assessments provide the objective data needed to hire, promote, and coach effectively. Only work with coaches that use them.

When you uncover the ways you self‑sabotage, you will see that hiring the right coach is the most critical component for your success. In today’s fast-changing workplace, you cannot afford to rely on outdated beliefs or go it alone. What are you waiting for?

Your leadership and legacy depend on the decisions you make now. If you’re ready to elevate your influence, strengthen key relationships, and accelerate your career in today’s fast‑moving environment, it’s time to get the support that gets results. Let’s start the conversation today.

When You Need to Make Life Changes, How Do You Handle Old Relationships?

April 16, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

At 55+, stepping into a new chapter of being a leader and an advocate, and navigating life changes isn’t about learning how to lead — you’ve already done that throughout your career. It’s about the shift in your priorities and how those shifts impact long‑standing relationships. Over the years, people have relied on your friendship, your influence, and your support … and now you’re sharpening your focus on what matters most to you. And, that may no longer include them.

Long‑standing friendships can shift in unexpected ways as you enter this new chapter, and the power dynamics shift too. Some friends may no longer feel as connected, as equal, or as comfortable as they once did. That’s when you discover who truly supports your continued success, who stands with you through life’s ups and downs, and who you can keep close.

Over the past couple of years, as I’ve stepped into a new chapter of leadership, I’ve noticed subtle shifts in a few long‑standing friendships. People who once reached out regularly or valued my perspective became quieter and less engaged. One friend, who had often asked for my insight, pulled back and later commented to others, “She’s in a different place now.”

That moment reminded me of something important: when your life evolves — especially later in your life and career — not everyone knows how to adjust. Your priorities shift, your boundaries strengthen, and your influence changes. Some friends adapt with you. Some leave quietly. Others struggle with the transition, even if they never say it directly.

Remember, good and supportive friends don’t compete with you, punish you for changing, or demand you stay the same. They respect your new boundaries and responsibilities. They help you celebrate and get your brag on while giving you space to do what you need to do.

While everyone needs good relationships — and they are a major part of life — you may need to create new guidelines for supportive friends who stay:

Shift what you share and talk about.
Maintain connection differently (e.g., emails, texts).
Protect attention to different confidentiality and ethics issues that arise.

How to Handle Friends Who Unfriend You (or Quietly Pull Away)

Some friends will resent your changes. Some will quietly withdraw.

When friends unfriend you:

Accept the shift instead of chasing them
Don’t defend yourself or justify your changes or new successes
Don’t internalize their jealousy or insecurity
Stay factual and professional if their criticism spills into the workplace or with other friends
Don’t diminish or let go of the progress you’ve made

Remember, life changes … and so do you, especially at this time in your life. It’s time to develop friendships that support your life and career changes.

Friends You May Need to Unfriend

In this legacy phase of your career, you naturally become more selective about who has access to you. Not everyone can go with you into your next chapter — and that’s not failure. That’s wisdom.

Some friendships become liabilities when you hang on too long. They:

Expect more than you can give
Gossip or undermine your credibility
Make inappropriate comments at your expense (e.g., diminish your successes, or dismiss your changes as important)
Violate ethics or ask you to overlook their behavior

Clinging to old friendships causes a loss of self. Don’t hang on — move on. It’s a signal to develop new relationships in this new phase of your life.

How to Handle Your New Role and Your Friends

Don’t share confidential information about the past
Don’t overshare about your changes
Let your actions speak for themselves
Avoid being pulled backwards (it’s sneaky)
Don’t let old loyalties compromise you, your life, or what’s next

How to have the “tough” conversations with current friends:

Initiate conversations and stop waiting for your “friend” to do so
Don’t ghost them or ignore them if they reach out
Meet and share, in general terms, your new focus
Honor your inner power and don’t let anyone violate it
Don’t become their coach, instead remain their friend

Don’t be afraid to:

Talk with a therapist about changes occurring in your life
Work with an executive “legacy” coach to guide you forward
Invite new people for lunch, dinner, or get‑togethers — many have amazing stories that will inspire you
Value those long‑term friendships that make you feel good
Stop waiting for permission and make long overdue changes

Your legacy is shaped not only by what you achieve, but by the relationships you can and nurture and the ones you release. Protecting your emotional well‑being, your ethics, and your leadership presence is part of leaving a strong legacy.

Your legacy won’t wait — and neither should you. If you’re experiencing shifting friendships, new responsibilities, or changing priorities, now is the time to get the clarity and support you need. Contact me today and take the next step toward the legacy and future you’re building.

When You Step into Leadership, How Do You Handle Your Relationships with Friends?

April 14, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

When you become a leader, it exposes who is genuinely for you and who only supported you when you stayed at their level. Some friends will celebrate you. Others will criticize, distance themselves, or resent your success.

Years ago, my employer offered an education reimbursement program that I took advantage of and got my Master’s Degree. Then, I stepped into a new leadership role. When I hosted a celebration several friends who attended told me about another friend who wasn’t there. The absentee friend had told everyone, “She doesn’t deserve success since the company paid for the degree.”

That moment made something very clear to me: not everyone adjusts well when you are successful.

Supportive friends don’t compete with you, punish you for succeeding, or demand insider information. They respect boundaries and your new responsibilities. They help you celebrate and get your brag on!

As the new leader, keeping and building relationships is important. It’s a major part of your new job.

With friends, you’ll need to:

Shift what you share and talk about
Maintain connection outside work
Protect confidentiality and ethics
Avoid talking about work the way you used to
You’ll need to keep supportive friends who stay in your life with the new rules

How to Handle Friends Who Unfriend You (or Quietly Pull Away)

Some so-called friends will resent your promotion, question your worthiness, or feel threatened. There will always be naysayers. Others may feel you’ve changed. While you may deny you’ve changed and believe it’s just a new job title, keep in mind: You will need to grow and transform with your new leadership opportunity … so change is inevitable.

When friends unfriend you:

Accept the shift instead of chasing them
Don’t defend your promotion or justify your success
Don’t internalize their jealousy or insecurity
Stay factual and professional if their criticism spills into the workplace

Remember, you did the work. It may be time to get new friends

Friends You May Need to Unfriend

Friends who rely on external accolades and put you at the mercy of others’ opinions are the ones to release. These types of friendships become liabilities when you become a leader, especially when they:

Expect favoritism
Demand insider information
Pressure you to take their side
Gossip or undermine your credibility
Disagree with company politics and expect you to change it
Make inappropriate comments at your expense
Violate ethics or ask you to overlook their behavior

Remember, if you support a friend who has violated ethical issues, management will no longer trust you to do the right things. This can be career-killing now and in the future.

Also, when a friend becomes toxic or misaligned with your new responsibilities, you may need to step back or walk away entirely. Clinging to old friendships will cause you to lose authority.

How to Handle Your New Role and Your Friends

Lead with boundaries since you are now “company management.”

Don’t share confidential information
Don’t play favorites
Don’t let old loyalties compromise fairness or achieving the intended results

Have the tough conversations by initiating conversations and stop waiting for your “friend” to do so.

Don’t ghost them or ignore them
Meet outside work
Outline what topics are allowed, then, honor that boundary
Keep it personal, not professional
Don’t become their coach, instead remain their friend

Don’t be afraid to let go and move on when a “friend:”

Resents you
Gossips about you
Pressures you
Undermines you
Cannot handle your new authority
Abuses your friendship (“She’ll tell me… we’re good friends.”)

Moving on will require new friends. Join professional and trade groups. Meet 1:1 with others since it is a great way to develop and build new relationships. This process will lessen the emotional need to hang on to old friendships that have moved on without you.

Leadership changes relationships. Some friends rise with you. Some fall away. Some you must release to protect your credibility, ethics, and authority.

As you move forward, get the advice and support you need. Hire an executive coach. This is critical because leaders are responsible for building and maintaining relationships. The right coach provides clarity, confidence, and guidance as you navigate new expectations, shift relationships (including friendships), and accept the realities of leadership.

Note: When your friend receives a new job, be sure to:

Congratulate your friend when something good happens
Not hold a grudge
Remember, life is not a competition

If you’re ready to strengthen your leadership and develop and build new and strong relationships with confidence, contact me. Let’s talk about your next steps.

Are You Ignoring Your Dreams? Activate Your Inner Power

April 9, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Let’s start with the truth—your truth.

You have goals, dreams, and a purpose that won’t leave you alone. They show up in the shower, on your commute, while paying bills, and especially when life feels too small. And yet…

You have ideas but no money or time.
You hope “someday” life will change.
You have ambition, but lack clarity.
You’re waiting for a pathway to appear.
Your ego whispers, “If I fail, I’ll look foolish.”

Here’s the reality: every idea, goal, dream, and purpose has the potential to fulfill your human spirit.

You are powerful. You can create your life when you choose to do so.

But life happens. Crisis hits. Responsibilities pile up. And while life shifts, your dreams often don’t. They become a quiet longing you postpone until:

the kids are grown
you retire
you have more money
you feel ready
someone gives you permission

Or your dream grows louder—but you still don’t pursue it.

Why? Because you’re waiting for the perfect moment, partner, bank account, or sign. But perfection never shows up. Opportunities rarely arrive at the “right” time. And distractions make it easy to miss what’s right in front of you.

Life opens doors when you are in focused action—not when you’re waiting.

The #1 Reason You’re Stuck

If you’re listening to the chatter in your head … those buzzing mental mosquitos:

“I don’t have time or money.”
“I’m not ready.”
“What if I fail?”
“What will people think?”
“What if I choose wrong?”

These thoughts don’t disappear on their own. Transform them through taking small steps, the antidote to fear, procrastination, and self-sabotage.

When Is the Right Time?

Now.
Not later.
Not when you feel motivated.
Not when the stars align.

Motivation is created by action not the other way around.

Why You Keep Sabotaging Yourself

Because you’re following feelings, emotions, and intuition without clarity or structure.

Your gut is a tool—not a strategy.
Your emotions are signals—not instructions.
Your intuition is a nudge—not a plan.

When your inner voice says, “Get into action,” you keep waiting, suffering, and hoping. But hope without action becomes disappointment.

The truth is simple: You keep dreaming your dream instead of taking small steps necessary to achieve it.

I Know This Pattern Because I’ve Lived It

I’ve achieved many results and I’ve also resisted, delayed, doubted, and sabotaged myself. Yet every time I took action, even imperfect action, I survived. I learned. I grew.

Dream fulfilled:

I moved from Michigan to Colorado with very little money.
I started a 501(c)(3) with no funding and was profitable the first year.
I published 11 books—four became Amazon Best Sellers.
I became a professional speaker and won “People’s Choice Award for Best Speaker.”
I started my own company when being a woman consultant triggered outright resistance, and guided the creation of three millionaires and hundreds of six‑figure professionals.

You may be thinking, “Good for you, but I’m not capable of that.”

Yes, you are!

You are powerful.
But inner power unused becomes pain.
Power ignored becomes regret.
Power suppressed becomes self-doubt.

How to Activate Your Inner Power

Take One Small Step Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Write it down. Do it now.
Build a Team One at a Time. No one succeeds alone. Who do you know that can support you moving forward? Have a conversation with them.
Immerse Yourself. Be curious. Learn. Explore. Read. Listen to Videos. Journal.
Feel the Fear and Move Forward Anyway. Fear means you’re expanding. Acknowledge it.
Use the Power of Balance. Ask: Does this energize me or drain me? Listen. Adapt.
Handle Your Life. Clear the clutter—mental and physical. Start with a clean desk, kitchen, inbox.
Hire the Right Coach. A real coach brings clarity, accountability, and momentum. Hire one today.

Your Inner Power Is Calling Now

Take one step.
Build your team one person at a time.
Say “Yes!” to the dream that refuses to leave you alone.

Your life is waiting. Activate your inner power and step into it now.

Activate your inner power by taking the next step. If 55+ and ready, I’m here to guide you in moving forward. Contact me and get started today.

Want to Be a Great Leader? Create Your Successor Now

April 7, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Being a great leader requires preparing your success for a smooth transition, now! Not later.

However, many leaders fear stepping aside.

They wait too long.
They allow egos to get in the way.
They wait until it’s too late due to mental health issues, physical disability, or death.

In fact, many times they leave the job or company, or bide their time hoping no one will notice there is no successor in place.

The other excuse many current leaders face when selecting a successor, is that many potential future leaders are uncertain if they wish to become future leaders. Often, this is due to lack of preparation: training, development, coaching, and being given opportunities now to learn from mistakes and failures, and successes too.

To effectively prepare your successor requires objective insights, accountability for real behavior changes, and a confidential space to work through real issues.

What Can You Do to Prepare Your Potential Successors?

Create Your Own Future. Too often, if you are hanging on too long, you don’t have a “What’s Next?” planned for yourself. But the truth is, you won’t be in your current position forever. So instead of continuing to talk about your future, make excuses, create issues, and ignore the focused action required to move on, hire an executive coach and make a legacy plan. Now, implement the plan.

Assess Who’s Next. When you have a key employee designated to step up, they may not have the skills and talents to do so at this time. Or, they are a great #2 person but do not have the ability or desire to become the #1 leader to move a business or team forward. While they may say they are interested, now’s the time to discover the truth.

Create an individualized succession plan and use an objective job fit and leadership assessment. This is critical in determining job fit in the new role. Use the assessment to guide your conversations and listen for consistency in their responses. Review their results to see where the gaps are, then provide the tools, resources, and coaching required to win. Objective, external insight is essential for successful successor plans, since internal relationships and politics often prevent honest conversations about readiness.

Hire an Executive Coach Now. Hire an executive coach to guide the future successor(s). Using an executive coach from outside the company ensures any growth and development issues that might occur and limit the future leader remain confidential. An external coach also provides the accountability required to ensure new behaviors stick, something internal leaders often struggle to enforce without damaging relationships that are often overlooked by the boss, HR, and other insiders.

We all have our challenges. These should not restrict any future leader’s ability to move forward if the person has done the work, is ready, and there are no ethical or other integrity issues in the way. If there are issues, address them now, or move on to another person.

Remember, future leaders need a confidential space to work through fears, mistakes, and real challenges — something they cannot safely do with their mentor, boss, peers, or HR.

Select an Internal Mentor Now. The mentor’s role is to guide the future leader through industry, company, and professional changes, and provide executive sponsorship. Many mentors don’t make great coaches due to time limitations, and lack of effective coaching experience. The other consideration is confidentiality. Having a mentor as a coach can limit job transition or promotion opportunities if the future leader is going through a challenging work situation or difficult period in life. Again, if the person does the work, is ready, and has no ethical or other integrity issues, continue to move forward!

Invest in Training and Development. Have your potential successor attend leadership workshops to develop their interpersonal, emotional intelligence, managerial, and leadership effectiveness. Ensure, along with their coach and mentor, these new skills and awareness are being used appropriately and effectively. As mentioned at the beginning of this article, learning to be a leader is a process, not an event. It takes time, and requires holding them accountable and practicing the right skills.

Provide the Opportunities. Now is an excellent time to get them involved in company teams, critical client challenges, trade and professional associations, and other leadership opportunities. Hold them accountable for results, communication efforts, decisions, and the ability to work well with anyone, anywhere and at any time. While you know you can do it faster (and possibly better), you may have forgotten it’s because of your long-time experience. Allow your successor to develop their own experiences (and stories) while you can provide the benefits of your knowledge and guidance.

What Do You Do When the Person Changes Their Mind? This important question is often ignored. Have a conversation to learn why – it may take more than one. The purpose is to determine where you have made the process too difficult, or the person just isn’t the right one. But do not spend time attempting to talk the person into changing their mind — this rarely works out well for anyone. Move on to another person since you should always have more than one key employee who could become a successor.

Your legacy depends on more than training your successor. It requires preparing them with the insight, accountability, and support they need for success. If you’re ready to build the kind of future required for both yourself and your successor(s), contact me and we’ll talk through your next steps.