professional development

We All Think We Have the Time to Do It Later

September 10, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

After reading several tributes to Dolly Parton, it reminded me that I too don’t have time to continue thinking about it, hoping for it, or wishing life wasn’t the way it is. And many of you readers have the same challenge. You believe since you’ve hit or surpassed age 55 it’s downhill. Time to coast. Too tired to do anything or create anything new.

Nonsense! Let’s look at what can be done.

We all participate in the illusion of time, a myth of unlimited tomorrows. But the truth is we all have the same 24/7. Some people make the most of this time, while many others bide their time waiting for a different day, month, or year (maybe a decade). Time is not elastic; it’s the one resource that only shrinks as we get older. And opportunities have a tendency to evaporate if we’re taking too much time to “think about it.”

Today is the only day you can act. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is a guess.

There is a quiet wake‑up call that arrives after age 55: awareness that time we have left is not infinite. We start to think that time is our enemy, but, in reality, our assumptions about growing older is the true enemy.

Why “I’ll do it time later” Is the Most Dangerous Phrase for You

Later feels responsible, but it’s actually avoiding the steps needed to move forward.
Later is how days, months, and years disappear without meaningful change.
Later creates regrets.
Later allows us to remain stuck in habits, mindsets, and relying on emotional barometers.
Later fails to prioritize self.
Later lacks urgency.
Later often means hanging on to past mistakes and failures.

Time to Pivot: Choose Legacy, Not Survival

“What do you really, really, really want?” is rarely asked for many reasons. Because we’ve never asked this question, we don’t have the answer. And, often use that as an excuse for staying stuck.

The #1 excuse is the fear of failure.

You’re allowed to want more at ages 55, 65, 75, and beyond. Wanting isn’t selfish. It’s being honest. But waiting until the perfect moment has you sabotage yourself.

How to Move Forward

What Matters? Get focused on what truly matters and set aside “busy-ness.” Do not analyze or wait in an attempt to feel the feelings. What is your commitment? Getting an oil change won’t be a feel-good action for most people, but it shows a commitment to a car that works.

Finish What’s Unfinished. Write down anything that is unfinished, instead of allowing unfinished projects or people to drain your energy and confidence. Now, give yourself permission to cross off those things you know you will not do (get real – will never do)! Be honest. Remember, time isn’t going to wait for it to “feel right.”

Review current list and take one step daily (e.g., change a light bulb, clean cat box, talk with a neighbor about parking, make the phone call, schedule a doctor or dentist appointment).

Find Support. Be sure the person is committed to your success. Get in action and don’t wait for them to say yes or find the time! Move on to another person.

The Turning Point Question: “If Not Now, When?”

To get you moving in the right direction, journal the above question with direct responses. Don’t hide. Directness disrupts complacency. This allows you to reframe your legacy/dream/goal as a current responsibility, not a future project.

Legacy begins the moment you see yourself as someone who creates, not someone who expects time to wait until you’re ready.

One Action Today: The Legacy Accelerator

Choose One Commitment. Make a list to get started and write all your thoughts and ideas. Cross off all but the top 4. Now rank them in order. Do not spend time analyzing them. The truth is, numbers 2, 3, and 4 may happen when you achieve commitment #1.

Why write it down? Writing engages the brain in a manner that allows new and different ideas or ways to pop open and achieve intended results.

Make It Meaningful Enough. What do you really, really, really want? Yes, write it down. Stop analyzing or trying to feel the “real” feeling! And, don’t talk yourself out of it!

Make it Visible. Write down your #1 goal and post it on your mirror or laptop.

Make it Do-able Today. Remember, one step at a time, every day. Do not get stopped by imperfection, mistakes, or failures. Ask, “What did I learn?”

When New Ideas Pop Up. During this time, new ideas and other items will appear (e.g., an idea to sell items online that you were holding to sell someday). Write them down. Set them aside for now.

Celebrate Your Wins! Each step forward is a win! Celebrate by bragging and acknowledging yourself.

Time Isn’t the Issue. Your alignment and relationship with time is.

Repeat daily: “I choose to thrive today and I am in action fulfilling my goals.”

Now, take at least one action that feels urgent, grounded, and empowering. Remember small aligned actions repeated daily build a legacy faster than waiting to find the “time” and “energy.” Waiting for the opportunity to take the “one big effort” gets you nowhere.

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

When Your Ego Causes You to Lose Credibility

September 7, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Leaders who make reactive decisions when blocking someone, withholding support, and escalating conflict will lose credibility. These costly types of actions and decisions occur because their ego felt threatened. These ego‑driven reactions can stall initiatives, derail team performance, and limit future opportunities for leaders.

When your ego hijacks judgment and common sense, costing you credibility and future opportunities, it’s important to pivot immediately and regain trust without over explaining or defending.

What happens when your ego gets in the way with people or situations?

When you attempt to influence decisions that aren’t yours (e.g., promotions, assignments, board choices, political dynamics, strategy), it damages your reputation. Especially if others feel you are wrong, lack enough of the right information, or you rely on your feelings and disregard facts. It’s important to develop the discipline of respecting boundaries and being aware of company politics.

If someone has asked for help, ask questions instead of stating opinions that often overlook important details.

Start by having the person briefly explain the concern.
Ask open-ended questions.
Be a committed listener (listening without comment and staying focused on the speaker) and allow the person to find their own answers.
Acknowledge the work they’ve done in the conversation.

What do you do when you’ve been wrong about someone?

There will be times when your ego blocked a person and you declared them to be incompetent, ineffective, or in the wrong job (poor job fit). But the truth is, they are exceptional.

It’s important to:

Acknowledge misjudgment without losing face
Rebuild a working relationship
Avoid doubling down on your reasons why to justify your mistake
Turn up your humbleness and apologize

How do you stay professional when you believe someone made the wrong decision?

Leaders often behave poorly when they feel overlooked, undervalued, or not heard. Especially if someone else made what you believe is a bad decision (e.g., hiring, work project, handling a client issue). This poor EI (emotional intelligence) will come back to bite you if you insist you are right and they are wrong.

Instead:

Use emotional detachment and talk with your executive coach to develop this all-important skill
Avoid self-sabotage by doing what is needed and remaining an important part of the team
Maintain composure under pressure when there are problems (and there will be) – avoid “I told you so” actions or comments
Offer appropriate ideas or suggestions when asked
Do not manipulate the decision to reflect what you believe is the only “right” way
By following the above points, your leadership and professionalism will be recognized … if you stay humble

How do you handle leadership blind spots when your ego is triggered due to stress?

When you feel threatened, career-limiting derailers will surface and you will default to manipulation, defensiveness, avoidance, and overconfidence (traits of an unhealthy ego). It’s time to hire an executive coach and use the PXT Select® assessment to learn why and how to develop your leadership humbleness.

Stay silent until you’ve worked with your executive coach, industry mentor, and therapist (when needed) or you risk damaging long-term credibility
Allow real data from the PXT Select® to reveal blind spots and learn from them
Be coachable and trainable – you can always learn new skills and how to use them effectively
Apologize as needed, journal your upsets or frustrations (do NOT share), and don’t allow your annoyance (aka your ego) with others to run the show

As a leader, current and future, developing a healthy ego is required when making decisions or being at the effect of decisions others make. Entrepreneurial leaders who practice humility make better strategic choices, foster innovation, and strengthen team alignment … key drivers for long-term success.

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Do You Work for a Boss Who Gets Nervous When You Succeed?

September 3, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Everyone has a moment of insecurity when someone else shines. But confident, competent legacy leaders congratulate their people, elevate them, and leverage success to grow the business. They don’t allow their insecurities or fears to get in the way of supporting their team members.

If your boss gets nervous when you and others succeed, you have a leadership liability inside your company. And it will cost you and your team in innovation, retention, and revenue. It’s time to learn how to work with them before moving on in your career.

When Leaders Fear Employee Success

A woman completed a tough project and was congratulated by co-workers, customers, and her boss’s boss! But her direct boss refused to say, “congrats.” Instead, the boss pointed out the weaknesses, mistakes, and other areas that were not perfect. This type of boss fears you surpassing them.

Why Bosses Fear Others’ Success

Paranoia or lack of trust due to previous bad decisions
Inability to create a solution to a problem
Incompetence due to poor job fit
Poor working relationships
Needing the “win” to keep their job and feed their ego
Lack of discernment
Relying on “how it’s always been done”
Fear of looking bad if the idea or employee fails

These fears create psychological safety issues. When bosses take credit, withhold information, or avoid honest conversations, trust evaporates and the team, customers, and company pay the price.

Your Legacy Requires Savvy, Moxie, and Guts

Your legacy isn’t built by waiting for a better boss. It’s built by learning how to work with imperfect bosses, especially when they are uncomfortable with your success. Legacy leaders use these opportunities to strengthen their influence, build resilience, and demonstrate strategic maturity.

Josh learned how to work with his fearful boss, Sam. After an intentional conversation, Josh became a confident go-to person to work with Sam, and Sam appreciated Josh’s efforts. Several months later, the owner of the company called Josh: “I hear you’re doing amazing work. When you’re ready, I’d like to make you president of one of my companies.” All because Josh learned how to work with a boss who lacked good people skills.

Your ability to navigate fear — yours or someone else’s — determines your legacy.

Own Your Leadership First

Know why you’re in the role. Identify the skills, experience, or business goals that make staying worthwhile for now. Use your “brags” to build confidence and credibility for yourself and your team.

Have intentional conversations. Share accomplishments, learn your team’s individual goals, and listen more than talk. This is how you build trust and reduce your boss’s fear-based reactions.

Do the work. Conversations mean nothing without action. Make the company, team, and customers look good consistently. This means learning to work without expecting praise or applause from your boss.

Set aside your ego. Yes, you have an ego too. Find other ways to acknowledge your own successes, and offer sincere congrats to your team members. Your legacy expands when you consistently elevate your team, even when your boss cannot do the same.

Protect Your Legacy

Keep people apprised. Document progress, interactions, and decisions. This protects you and strengthens your brand. If appropriate, cc the boss’s boss or board members. Keep copies on a personal device and use for performance reviews, individually and as a team.

Don’t gossip. Gossip destroys your credibility when discussing a bad boss, and erodes your leadership brand. It also signals your own insecurity, which is the opposite of the legacy you wish to build.

Stay detached. Proving you’re right about a bad boss is a losing game. They are in the position for a reason, usually political. Detachment keeps you strategic and protects long-term opportunities.

Use Tools That Strengthen Your Leadership

Hire an executive coach. A coach provides objectivity, clarity, and a neutral sounding board so you don’t get pulled into (or stay in) fear-based dynamics.

Take a PXT Select®. A PXT Select Leadership assessment reveals your strengths, blind spots, and communication style and how you interact with others, especially your boss. Objective insights help you adjust, reduce friction, and stay effective regardless of others’ fears.

Note: Josh’s success came from having both: an executive coach and a PXT Select assessment.

Keep Your Options Open

Opportunities will arise to restructure, reassign, or upgrade your role in the company. Don’t jump too quickly. Use discernment to avoid repeating the same pattern of working for another insecure boss.

Self-Care Matters

Your body will tell you when you need time away due to the stress (yes, it’s there – even for Type As). Listen and honor it. Remember, ignoring stress will eventually lead to poor decisions, not trusting yourself, overlooking important details, and poor health.

Your Legacy Is Bigger Than Your Fear

When you work for a boss who fears congratulating you and your team, don’t let it define your future or your legacy. Your ability to stay strategic, courageous, and focused does, and so does your ability to work with this boss.

Moving forward in your career, you will run into others who exhibit the same limiting behaviors and attitudes. Steer clear, and when you cannot, learn how to work well with them. It is a huge leadership advantage for your career and future.

When you combine savvy decision making, moxie in how you show up, and the guts to keep going, you become the legacy leader your company is appreciates having (e.g., bonuses, perks, promotions).

Be a Leader Who Congratulates Others

August 31, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Leaders and bosses will rarely admit it — but many get nervous or feel fearful or feel threatened when a team member succeeds. If that’s you, it’s time to reassess why you’re in a leadership role.

Sadly, everyone has had to work with a boss or leader who fears others’ success. When that carries over into their inability to congratulate their team and team members, a change must happen or you will lose top talent, customers, results, and revenues.

Entrepreneurial leaders understand that acknowledging others is not simply “being nice”—it’s a strategic business advantage that accelerates innovation, strengthens loyalty, and expands the company’s capacity to win.

When leaders fear their employees succeeding, they attempt to hide their insecurities by criticizing and nitpicking results, claiming it’s to help them improve. Others try to be extra nice to cover up their true feelings but lack a genuine tone. None of these approaches are effective. You will still be a leader who doesn’t want others to succeed and they respond accordingly (e.g., lack of initiative, poor solutions, mediocrity).

A woman had a great idea for a client. As requested by her boss, she submitted the idea in writing but didn’t hear anything back. A week later she learned her idea had been implemented and the client was pleased. But the client gave all the credit to her “wonderful boss.” When she asked her boss about it, the boss shrugged. “Well … it’s done. Maybe next time. Ok?” (This diminishing of another’s idea will eventually backfire. In this case, the client learned the truth and requested a different project team lead, saying. “We need to be able to trust the whole team working on our important project.”)

Successful leaders have learned to set aside any fears of others’ success. They know there is plenty of applause to go around.

Why Leaders Fear Others’ Success

Paranoia or lack of trust due to previous bad decisions
Inability to create solutions for a problem
Lack of confidence and self-esteem
No acknowledgement of their successes from bosses or boards
Incompetence due to poor job fit
Needing the “win” to feel good about themselves, especially after a recent failure

As a leader, if your goal is to keep your employees from leaving or surpassing you in the company, you need to work with a coach or mental health professional to create a workplace culture of psychological safety and trust.

Remember, psychological safety erodes quickly when leaders refuse to give credit and congratulate their teams. In turn, the teams withhold information, allow for mediocrity, and withdraw from contributing. You, the team, and customers all pay the price.

Have the Confidence to Encourage Others to Succeed

Leadership is built on you becoming a great boss. Your job is to provide the resources and opportunities for your employees and teams to grow and excel. Holding someone back or diminishing their ideas and work quality due to your fears of their successes and wins does not work. Remember, their work effort reflects back on you!

Own Your Leadership First

Be clear about your responsibilities. As the boss, your primary job is to produce intended results for the company and your customers. This requires a great team, and a team that is engaged in their work. Your lack of acknowledgement will cause the team to falter, make mistakes, and leave (along with your customers).

Have intentional conversations. Hold weekly meetings that make a positive difference. Work with your executive coach to learn meeting protocol and team dynamics. Share the goals, progress made, and learning moments when mistakes have occurred. Don’t forget to acknowledge and congratulate successes.

Protect Your Leadership Legacy

Keep your boss apprised. Document progress of a project or situation. This allows your boss and board to be informed and aware of what is happening on the team. Be sure to provide credit individually and for the team due to their accomplishments, wins, and solving tough challenges.

Acknowledgement. Use please and thank you. Include individual praise and team congrats too. Host a monthly (or more frequently) “brag fest.” This allows team members to share accomplishments that you and others are unaware of or have overlooked. SEE “Get Your Brag On!” for how to do it.

Use Tools That Strengthen Your Leadership

Hire an executive coach. A coach helps you navigate the politics, stay focused on results, and avoid reacting negatively to others successes. The right coach ensures you are offering well-deserved acknowledgement to yourself and others.

Take a PXT Select®. A PXT Select assessment provides real leadership data you need to understand your strengths, blind spots, and communication style and how to effectively interact with your team. When you (and your team) have objective insights, you can adjust your approach, reduce friction, and position yourself as the person who gets things done regardless of your own fears of others’ success. Building confidence is key to building a strong team.

Your Team Relies on Your Leadership

Great leaders are fearless in acknowledging and congratulating their team and team members, and produce amazing results, improve retention, and increase revenues.

What do you need to do to become a great leader?

Why We Get Stopped (And How to Finally Move Forward)

August 27, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

The core truth is simple and uncomfortable: we don’t get stopped because of our skills, talents, or interests. We get stopped because we fail to do the work. The difference between people who achieve meaningful results and those who wish they had is not brilliance, luck, or inspiration. It’s action … taking consistent, imperfect, forward‑moving action.

What Actually Stops Us

The Remy Effect. Outwardly we talk the talk; inwardly we fear taking the required actions. When fears of not being enough, not having enough, or being judged appear, remember: the fear shows up because you’re moving forward.
Waiting for permission. You don’t need permission to begin, proceed, or excel.
“I don’t have everything I need.” You won’t. Start anyway. In writing a book, characters and plots emerge after you begin. In business, clarity comes after the first step.
Shiny objects. New ideas, distractions, and “opportunities” will appear. If they don’t fit your intention, move on. They are major deterrents to completion.
Misleading expectations. The process rarely looks like you think it should, especially when you’re “almost there.” Even if you’ve done something similar before, internal and external changes happen. Be flexible without ditching or rewriting the goal and intention. Keep going.
Self-Worth. If you fear failure or making a mistake, you’re making it mean too much about you. Remember, there is value in learning what doesn’t work and how to keep moving forward.

Common Deterrents We Misinterpret as “Good Reasons”

Everyone has the same 24/7. It’s not time; it’s the choices we make.
Money reflects your history, environment, and beliefs. You’ve survived challenges before and you’re still here. Find a committed listener. Share your story twice, then stop. Don’t get stuck inside of it. Now, create the plan out loud, write it down, and immediately take one action step.
Life challenges occur. And, they will. When wanting to write a book, deal with a child on drugs, navigate career uncertainty, handle a difficult customer or team … none of these will resolve themselves without taking the right actions. Hire, and listen to, the right therapist, advisor, or expert. Create a plan. Follow it. Expect challenges and work through them one at a time.
The “Purpose Trap.” Many people believe they must find their “purpose” before acting. This is a trap. “Purpose” emerges from doing, not from comparing your journey to others’ successes.

Doing the Work: The Real Differentiator

People who succeed aren’t necessarily more talented. They simply do the work:

They stay in action. When stopped, they learn why and move forward.
They take small steps. One step at a time keeps momentum alive.
They practice self‑care. Your health and wellbeing are your wealth.
They keep moving even when the path feels messy or unclear. You’ve never been this way before—be adventurous and bold.
They value essential support: coach + team. Together, they create momentum you cannot generate alone.
Keeps you out of your own way, stops self‑sabotage, and helps you stay accountable.
Moves the project forward. If team members lack skills or willingness, let them go. Wrong team members stall progress more than any external obstacle.
Every pursuit requires:
A clear goal. A specific outcome you commit to achieving with purpose.
A daily intention. A focused priority guiding your choices and energy today.
Consistent movement. Small, steady actions that maintain momentum toward your goal.

Not perfection. Not certainty. Consistent movement.

The Hardest Truth

Life isn’t stopping you. You are stopping yourself.

When you rely on your inner emotional and mental voices, they whisper doubt, fear, comparison, or hesitation. These must be tamed:

Acknowledge the voice.
Reframe the message.
Move forward anyway.

This is how intuition becomes your guide, and feelings stop running the show.

An Example

A woman insisted on being in charge of everything, and her results were always so‑so because she never learned to work with and through others. This is exactly how many people get stopped: fear, uncertainty, shiny distractions, and rigid expectations prevent forward movement. Once she shifted her mindset, trusted collaboration, and stayed in action, her outcomes improved significantly … showing that life isn’t stopping you; you stop yourself when you don’t consistently move forward.

Takeaway

You don’t need more talent, more skill, or more inspiration.

You need to begin.
You need to continue.
You need to stay in action.
Create your goal and your intention.
Hire an executive coach and use tools like PXT Select® to stay objective and on track.
Select your team.
Now, take action.

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

What to Do as a Leader When You Inherit an Underperforming Employee

August 24, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Many leaders have faced this situation: you step in as the new hire or new boss and you inherit an underperforming employee on your team. Management is already telling you to fix them or fire them.

While you must treat every team member fairly and uphold the same standards for all, fairness does not mean ignoring performance issues.

Often, the previous boss was unwilling or unable to effectively coach the “underperforming employee,” let them go, or find a better job fit.

Now management expects you to resolve the situation.

Why This Expectation Is a Problem

You cannot “fix” an employee.
The “underperforming employee” may excel under your leadership.
If management insists on firing them, have them do so before you start as the new boss.

The Reality of Inheriting a “Underperforming Employee”

A label from a previous boss does not define how anyone will perform with you. Conduct your due diligence with all
You are accountable for everyone’s performance. Ensure the team has the resources to meet customer demands.
Investigate first: use job fit assessments, review and update job descriptions, talk with current and former team members, and get management’s perspective.
Ask the customers what’s working and what’s not.
If you’re interviewing for the role, say: “I’ll need to assess them first. If you need them gone, you’ll need to handle that before I start.”
Maintain confidentiality and reinforce your standards.
Partner early with HR to ensure compliance.
Communicate appropriately with the team to prevent rumors and reinforce expectations.

As a New Leader, Share Expectations Immediately

Introduce yourself briefly in a group meeting.
In 1:1s, explain you’re assessing each role.
Ask how the team members see their role.
Clarify standards, timelines, and responsibilities.
Put expectations in writing.
Reinforce what “good performance” looks like.
Let the team know you’re available. And be available! It builds trust, which is needed in difficult conversations.
Hold each team member accountable and follow through consistently.
Never accuse anyone of being an underperforming employee since they may simply be in the wrong job.

Objectively Assess the Situation

Use a job fit assessment to confirm they’re in the right job. They may “fit” the thinking style, behaviors, and interests but have deviated from the job description due to lack of support and awareness.
Review performance history, documentation, and feedback from previous bosses and team members. Have intentional conversations. Remember, memories are never 100% accurate.
Identify whether the issue is skill, attitude, or both. Sometimes employees weren’t trained or were expected to grasp abstract concepts without guidance. Provide what’s missing and show them how to use it.
Create a written plan before speaking with the employee.

Have Direct and Intentional Conversations with the “Underperforming Employee”

Address issues factually using the Sandwich or Direct Approach, depending on the employee.
State what must change and why it matters. Use a performance improvement plan when needed.
Offer training and tools. If they’re unwilling to do the work, document it.
Treat each employee fairly.
Document everything: performance, behaviors, missed deadlines, and conversations (who, what, when, where, why).
If they want to leave, let them. Help them find a better internal fit or follow HR’s severance process.

Decide: Can They Stay or Must They Go?

Evaluate whether improvement is real and sustainable. (They cannot fake it forever.)
If not, initiate the appropriate exit process with HR.
Remember, the “underperforming employee” may be well liked but ineffective.
“Ride it out” when there is pushback from the team.
Reinforce expectations without criticizing the departing employee.

Strengthen Your Leadership Reputation

Your job is to ensure every employee receives the tools, coaching, and training needed to succeed.

Demonstrate fairness, consistency, and courage.
Show, by example, that you protect the team and uphold company standards.
You are judged not by the problems you inherit, but by how you handle the person and situation.

PS: What if You’re the “Underperforming Employee?” Don’t wait. Get help from an executive or career coach. This may include looking for another job after learning what you overlooked or ignored during your interview. The key is to get real about your strengths and weaknesses using a qualified job fit assessment to learn who you really are … not who you want to be seen as.

Are You Avoiding Kindness?

August 20, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Real kindness requires backbone, not telling people what they want to hear (aka platitudes). In today’s workplace, kindness is required to be effective and to be a results‑producer.

A lack of kindness often comes at the expense of teamwork, accountability, quality, client care, and the bottom line.

Kindness used to mean helping people grow, telling the truth, and doing what’s right even when it’s hard.

But today, “kindness” has been reduced to being agreeable, avoiding discomfort, and keeping everyone happy. It’s a way of avoiding potential legal issues, addressing unreasonable demands, and preventing team or customer upsets. That’s not kindness. When leaders focus on being liked, keeping the customer or boss happy, and protecting the bottom line, this surface‑level civility (aka fake kindness) creates a legacy of being nice but makes the leader ineffective.

Where Has Kindness Gone Missing?

Truth telling. Leaders avoid honest feedback to “be kind,” leaving teams stuck, costs rising, and customers unhappy.
Accountability. Standards are softened to avoid hurt feelings, creating mediocrity.
Follow-through. Leaders promise support but fail to provide the resources and feedback required, negatively impacting the company and clients.
Kindness creates confusion when leaders tolerate conflicts, factions, and groupthink out of fear of being labeled a bad or mean boss.
Hard conversations are avoided due to lack of skill, fear of failure, or making the situation worse.
Kindness is applied selectively, creating confusion and resentment.
Offense‑seeking. Teams (and leaders) look for opportunities to feel offended, diminished, or discredited.
Decision‑making. Leaders delay or avoid making timely decisions to prevent upsetting someone, harming progress and trust.
Performance management. Avoiding tough conversations about poor performance hurts the individual, the team, and the customer.

The Blunt Truth About Kindness

Kindness isn’t soft or fuzzy. As a leader, it’s crucial to develop kindness with a backbone while guiding teams and customers through the inevitable difficulties, conflicts, and upsets.

Be Clear. Clarity is kindness. Provide the resources and truth required to get the job done. These conversations will take longer. The benefit? They allow the team to be innovative and surpass the intended results.
Be Direct. Directness with diplomacy prevents misunderstandings and raises standards. Keep the goal and intention in the forefront to move everyone forward.
Be Consistent. Consistency builds trust when you tell the truth early, directly, and respectfully. Remember you will need to repeat it many times during meetings and conversations.
Be Accountable. Accountability protects people and results through intended actions, not avoidance.
Be Courageous. Courage is the highest form of kindness for yourself and others. It guides teams and customers to do what they’ve been avoiding.
Be Compassionate. Chances are you’ve had a similar experience. Share a short story about how you handled a situation or relationship to support your own growth.
Be Generous. Appreciate each team member’s contribution. Encourage them to brag about their successes too.
Be Self‑Aware. Listen to the “tiny voice in your head” before saying something you’ll regret. Stop, breathe, and use silence when your critical voice is too loud.

A Leader’s Self‑Check

“Am I being kind or just agreeable?”
“Am I helping this person grow or keeping them comfortable?”
“Am I avoiding the truth and calling it kindness?”
“Am I protecting people through silence at the expense of the team or client?”
“Am I being authentic or just saying what is expected of me?”
“Are my expectations ego‑based?”
“Am I failing to hire the right people required to achieve needed results for customers?”
“Am I gaslighting someone because I failed to take responsibility?” (e.g., overscheduling, failing to keep promises, failing to listen, ignoring policies or systems)

Kindness isn’t about keeping people comfortable. It’s about guiding them to succeed. In today’s work world, kindness is required.

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

When “Civility” Masks Achieving Intended Results

August 17, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Trust and respect are core to effective leadership, and required to achieve intended results. But both erode when leaders hide behind “civility” and insist on polite instead of intentional conversations that move a team, company, and project forward.

While civility can create space for dialogue and reduce friction, surface‑level communication (e.g., civility) is often used as a mask or shield to block accountability for results, relationships, and client care. Used this way, civility enables leaders to talk about issues without addressing them and gives cover for avoiding needed action. This often occurs when the issue has been allowed to grow too long, and solutions seem impossible. Or, the leader just doesn’t have the confidence or skills required.

In companies that reward civility over accountability, leaders avoid tough decisions, delay taking required actions, and limit innovation. Civility shifts from a tool for connection to a strategy for avoidance. It is the way to sidestep unpopular decisions and uncomfortable truths. And when that happens, quality drops, retention suffers, revenues decline, and outcomes take the hit.

Signs of Leadership Avoidance

Punishing honesty. People are subtly punished for saying what leaders don’t want to hear.
Dodging discomfort. Issues are ignored because leaders don’t want to feel uncomfortable.
Civility as a shield. Tough conversations are avoided because they’re seen as “not nice.”
No accountability. Responsibility is dumped on others who don’t have the authority to make a difference.
Problems spiral. Leaders chase trivial wins while major issues spiral out of control.
Conflict avoidance. Teams tiptoe around the elephant in the room and clients fire you.
Facts are twisted to make people doubt what they see and hear.
Consensus hiding. Decisions are stalled by demanding “everyone agree” to avoid action and failure.
Politics over people. Internal politics matter more than taking care of employees or clients.
Fear of change stalls execution.

The Bottom Line. This type of leader is often in the wrong job due to poor job fit and/or because their bosses liked them, and not because they can deliver results. This continues as long as the company tolerates rising costs, declining revenues, costly turnover, miscommunication, and mediocre results, and fails to correctly identify the real problem.

Companies need leaders who address issues directly, early, and consistently. Civility helps, but only when paired with clear enforcement and follow‑through. When civility becomes a distraction, it stops being a virtue and becomes a leadership liability.

Effective Leaders: Civility with Backbone

Effective leaders don’t abandon civility. Instead, they:

Strengthen civility. Pair it with responsibility and accountability.
Improve clarity. Build trust by acting to move an issue, team, or project forward, not just talk about it.
Replace avoidance. Raise standards, grow trust, and improve results through direct communication.
Demonstrate backbone. Use civility to drive performance, and stop using excuses.
Practice self‑awareness. Notice when comfort is replacing clarity and have the tough conversations.
Set expectations and follow-through. Be consistent, honor policies, and address issues early.
Model accountability with empathy. Use civility for clarity, protect people through action, and manage the process, not personalities.

These behaviors turn civility into a leadership strength rather than a shield for avoidance by taking the required steps and having intentional conversations for required results.

A Leader’s Self‑Check

“Am I using civility to connect or to avoid?”
“Am I enforcing standards or explaining them away?”
“Am I building a culture that works or one that merely talks about working?”
“Am I fearing the disruption needed to achieve the results, or trusting the process?”
“Am I focused on the wrong areas of this issue or job?”

Civility matters when paired with accountability. Without courage, it’s just decoration.

Be a Bold-Committed Listener and Achieve Stellar Results

August 13, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Mastering the art of being a bold, committed listener is not just impressive, it’s a game-changer in your role as a boss and leader. This skill doesn’t go unnoticed. It empowers you to create an environment where team members, customers, and even your bosses can express themselves freely, without fear of you becoming defensive or offended. They feel truly heard and valued, which is a powerful tool in your leadership arsenal.

As a bold listener, you hold the key to unlocking your team’s potential. You can turn a problematic situation, conflict, or poor performance into a positive outcome. Often, the solution is right there, waiting to be heard. By simply listening, you empower your team to find their own solutions, boosting their confidence and satisfaction in their contributions.

Being a bold, committed listener isn’t hard, but it takes your willingness to listen, especially when you don’t want to hear what is said.

How to Be a Bold, Committed Listener Who Values Others

Identify Your Biases. Identifying and acknowledging your biases, snap judgments, and instant assessments about others is essential to becoming a committed listener. Yes, we ALL have them. It’s important to be aware and set them aside when listening to others. This self-awareness is a crucial aspect of effective communication and understanding.

Encourage Face-to-Face Conversations. Either on-site or via online conferencing. Relying on emails or texts will cause miscommunication, and people (including you) will not feel heard. Poor communication is often due to reliance on emojis, misused jargon, inability to articulate true thoughts and feelings, and abbreviations.

Be Present. Do not drive while having a conversation! I cannot say this enough: multi-tasking is a myth. (If you don’t believe me, use a search engine to read about how the brain is wired.) Set aside electronic distractions and anything else that distracts your attention, including internal mental chatter!

Choose Your Words. Be responsible for the words you use when responding to others. Labeling people never goes well and can be offensive. One of the most common labels right now is “narcissist.” Encourage others using these labels to “use their words” to describe their issues and concerns instead of using labels or catch-all phrases.

Silence is Golden. Allow others to use you as a sounding board, which is part of your job as a boss and leader. Ask open-ended questions to direct the conversation and guide them to find the answers for themselves.

Tell Stories. People love stories when they are brief and on-point in the conversation. A well-told story will be what the person will remember for a very long time. Note: Keep people’s names and other identifiers confidential.

Celebrate Unrecognized Achievements. Too often, people downplay what they’ve accomplished and fail to brag!. Be the type of leader who not only hears the successes but also says, “Congrats!”

Today’s Professionals Can’t Afford to Stay Lukewarm – It’s Time to Leverage Up

August 6, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Many business professionals today are flying solo in consulting, coaching, or taking on fractional roles, while still relying on the same mindset, habits, and approaches they used years ago. The result? Lukewarm performance, frustrated clients, and stalled careers. It’s not a legacy that successful professionals want to leave.

It’s time to leverage up and elevate your integrity, mindset, and practices so you can deliver real value and empower yourself rather than being unconsciously complacent or fearful.

What Happens When You Fail to Leverage Up

When you stay in your comfort zone, you unintentionally cap your effectiveness. You repeat outdated methods, rely on assumptions, and overlook the habits that limit your impact … no matter what you tell yourself.

The cost is real:

Clients lose confidence
Employees disengage
Revenues decline
Your reputation stagnates
Your self-talk isn’t positive

Professionals who fail to leverage up often don’t see the problem because they’re too busy doing the work to notice they’ve stopped growing.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

Today’s business environment demands adaptability, emotional intelligence, and integrity. When you don’t elevate your mindset, you unintentionally create risk for the people who depend on you. And, as Warren Buffet would say, without “integrity” the other two won’t matter!

Leaders, consultants, and coaches who stay lukewarm:

Miss critical details
Rely on outdated thinking
Overlook blind spots
Fail to build trust
Struggle to deliver consistent results

And remember, this isn’t about perfection. It’s about responsibility.

How to Leverage Up Your Effectiveness

Be Open. Everyone has a block: an internal barrier that keeps them stuck. Before you dismiss an idea, consider how often you resist feedback, avoid discomfort, or rely on what you already know. Openness is the gateway to growth. Ask open-ended questions to move the conversation forward.
Know Thy Self. Most professionals believe they are self-aware. Yet they fail to see how others experience working or interacting with them. Blind spots, defensiveness, and fear of the unknown limit effectiveness. Use job fit assessment tools that provide the scientific validation for objectivity and insights.
Hire an Executive Coach. Yes, I know … you don’t believe you can afford to do so. The problem is you cannot afford not to do so! An experienced coach can guide you through challenges, relationships, and opportunities and increase your awareness as you build your legacy.
Invest in Yourself. Take at least one course a year. Listen to podcasts that elevate your thinking. Read materials that challenges your assumptions. Growth requires intentional input.
Avoid Shiny Objects. Hype is everywhere. Tools, trends, and shortcuts promise miracles. Be responsible for what you adopt and how you guide others. Your credibility depends on discernment.
Use a Healthy Ego. Your ego isn’t the enemy … a misused ego is. A healthy ego keeps you focused on results, helps you resist bad habits (e.g., talking over others), and supports confident collaboration.
Use Assessments Appropriately. Not all assessments are scientifically or legally sound. Most fail the Department of Labor standards for pre-employment and selection use. Relying on weak tools damages trust and exposes employees and clients to risk.
Lead with Integrity When you cut corners, use inappropriate tools, or fail to honor your commitments, you lose your ability to influence a team, system, or client. Integrity is the foundation for leveraging up.

Get Started and Leverage Up

To start the process, use the PXT Select® Leadership Report to provide objective insights into how you think, behave, and make decisions … especially under pressure.

This state-of-the-art tool helps professionals:

Understand natural strengths
Identify blind spots
Improve communication
Reduce conflict
Strengthen team alignment

These tools (along with an experienced coach) bolster both leaders and team members, especially when miscommunication, conflict, or repeated mistakes have eroded trust.

The Bottom Line

Leveraging up is not optional. It’s the difference between being a professional who merely “does the work” and one who elevates people, systems, and results leaving a positive legacy.