Leaders who learn to effectively facilitate meetings and groups avoid dominating conversations and improve results. (Note: Oxford Languages define facilitate as: Lead or run (a meeting, discussion, etc.), ensuring that objectives are met and all participants’ opinions are heard.)
When facilitating, many bosses believe they must have all the answers. But they’re neither skilled nor comfortable listening to or generating others’ opinions. Their lack of facilitation skills, speaking skills, and ability to manage a room, virtually or onsite, gets in the way of results.
Become Aware of What No One Will Tell You
Why people won’t tell you the truth:
- You lack awareness, emotional intelligence, and emotional integrity (See Quick Comparison* below)
- You don’t feel comfortable telling you what you need to hear
- Your blind spot is something they can’t quite identify—but they find it annoying
- You become a “I’m right, you’re wrong” type of person when someone disagrees with you
*Quick Comparison: Emotional Intelligence vs. Emotional Integrity
- Emotional Intelligence is your ability to recognize and manage emotions—yours and others’.
- Emotional Integrity is your ability to express emotions honestly and act in alignment with your values.
Signs You Need to Pay Attention To:
- You over-explain to the point no one is listening
- You talk when you should be listening
- You’re always focused on your opinion or point of view (What? You asked for my idea)
- You’re late, lack preparation, and are disorganized
- You’re ready to respond as soon as the other person stops talking (or even before), which means you were not listening!
How to Overcome These Limitations:
- Get Real. Work with an experienced executive coach and use a job fit assessment that provides a leadership overview and recommendations. Objective data plus expert advice can fast-track your results.
- Be Coachable. Listening and learning are essential when working with others. Many of you reading this may believe you’re a great speaker and facilitator, but consider your audience may disagree.
- Watch Your Tone. Poorly managed emotions can diminish your results and possibly cost you your job. Develop emotional mastery to avoid triggers.
- Learn to Listen. Listening to learn (not to comment) helps you master long-winded unfocused conversations and reframe input into something positive. You asked for their input, now honor it and thank them.
- Include Everyone. Go round-robin (ask for each person’s thoughts, ideas, or opinion). Listen. Use time limits if needed.
- Come Prepared. Arrive early. Send out agendas 24–48 hours ahead and follow them. Mute phones. Send minutes within 24–48 hours, including tasks to be completed.
- State Your Point in 10 Words or Less. If you’re long-winded, you’re likely editing mid-sentence or unclear about your point. Get clear. Get focused. Be prepared by writing it down first.
© Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved
Jeannette Seibly is a legacy-driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Amazon Best-Selling Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values-based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.
Would you like a complimentary, Facilitation Self-Check & Meeting Prep Guide? Contact me.