Reinvention

We All Think We Have the Time to Do It Later

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After reading several tributes to Dolly Parton, it reminded me that I too don’t have time to continue thinking about it, hoping for it, or wishing life wasn’t the way it is. And many of you readers have the same challenge. You believe since you’ve hit or surpassed age 55 it’s downhill. Time to coast. Too tired to do anything or create anything new.

Nonsense! Let’s look at what can be done.

We all participate in the illusion of time, a myth of unlimited tomorrows. But the truth is we all have the same 24/7. Some people make the most of this time, while many others bide their time waiting for a different day, month, or year (maybe a decade). Time is not elastic; it’s the one resource that only shrinks as we get older. And opportunities have a tendency to evaporate if we’re taking too much time to “think about it.”

Today is the only day you can act. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is a guess.

There is a quiet wake‑up call that arrives after age 55: awareness that time we have left is not infinite. We start to think that time is our enemy, but, in reality, our assumptions about growing older is the true enemy.

Why “I’ll do it time later” Is the Most Dangerous Phrase for You

  • Later feels responsible, but it’s actually avoiding the steps needed to move forward.
  • Later is how days, months, and years disappear without meaningful change.
  • Later creates regrets.
  • Later allows us to remain stuck in habits, mindsets, and relying on emotional barometers.
  • Later fails to prioritize self.
  • Later lacks urgency.
  • Later often means hanging on to past mistakes and failures.

Time to Pivot: Choose Legacy, Not Survival

“What do you really, really, really want?” is rarely asked for many reasons. Because we’ve never asked this question, we don’t have the answer. And, often use that as an excuse for staying stuck.

The #1 excuse is the fear of failure.

You’re allowed to want more at ages 55, 65, 75, and beyond. Wanting isn’t selfish. It’s being honest. But waiting until the perfect moment has you sabotage yourself.

How to Move Forward

What Matters? Get focused on what truly matters and set aside “busy-ness.”  Do not analyze or wait in an attempt to feel the feelings. What is your commitment? Getting an oil change won’t be a feel-good action for most people, but it shows a commitment to a car that works.

Finish What’s Unfinished. Write down anything that is unfinished, instead of allowing unfinished projects or people to drain your energy and confidence. Now, give yourself permission to cross off those things you know you will not do (get real – will never do)! Be honest. Remember, time isn’t going to wait for it to “feel right.”  

Review current list and take one step daily (e.g., change a light bulb, clean cat box, talk with a neighbor about parking, make the phone call, schedule a doctor or dentist appointment).

Find Support. Be sure the person is committed to your success. Get in action and don’t wait for them to say yes or find the time! Move on to another person.

The Turning Point Question: “If Not Now, When?”

To get you moving in the right direction, journal the above question with direct responses. Don’t hide. Directness disrupts complacency. This allows you to reframe your legacy/dream/goal as a current responsibility, not a future project.

Legacy begins the moment you see yourself as someone who creates, not someone who expects time to wait until you’re ready.

One Action Today: The Legacy Accelerator

Choose One Commitment. Make a list to get started and write all your thoughts and ideas. Cross off all but the top 4. Now rank them in order. Do not spend time analyzing them. The truth is, numbers 2, 3, and 4 may happen when you achieve commitment #1.

Why write it down? Writing engages the brain in a manner that allows new and different ideas or ways to pop open and achieve intended results.

Make It Meaningful Enough. What do you really, really, really want? Yes, write it down. Stop analyzing or trying to feel the “real” feeling! And, don’t talk yourself out of it!

Make it Visible. Write down your #1 goal and post it on your mirror or laptop.

Make it Do-able Today. Remember, one step at a time, every day. Do not get stopped by imperfection, mistakes, or failures. Ask, “What did I learn?”

When New Ideas Pop Up. During this time, new ideas and other items will appear (e.g., an idea to sell items online that you were holding to sell someday). Write them down. Set them aside for now.

Celebrate Your Wins! Each step forward is a win! Celebrate by bragging and acknowledging yourself.

Time Isn’t the Issue. Your alignment and relationship with time is.

Repeat daily: “I choose to thrive today and I am in action fulfilling my goals.”

Now, take at least one action that feels urgent, grounded, and empowering. Remember small aligned actions repeated daily build a legacy faster than waiting to find the “time” and “energy.” Waiting for the opportunity to take the “one big effort” gets you nowhere.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Do You Work for a Boss Who Gets Nervous When You Succeed?

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Everyone has a moment of insecurity when someone else shines. But confident, competent legacy leaders congratulate their people, elevate them, and leverage success to grow the business. They don’t allow their insecurities or fears to get in the way of supporting their team members.

If your boss gets nervous when you and others succeed, you have a leadership liability inside your company. And it will cost you and your team in innovation, retention, and revenue. It’s time to learn how to work with them before moving on in your career.

When Leaders Fear Employee Success

A woman completed a tough project and was congratulated by co-workers, customers, and her boss’s boss! But her direct boss refused to say, “congrats.” Instead, the boss pointed out the weaknesses, mistakes, and other areas that were not perfect. This type of boss fears you surpassing them.

Why Bosses Fear Others’ Success

  • Paranoia or lack of trust due to previous bad decisions
  • Inability to create a solution to a problem
  • Incompetence due to poor job fit
  • Poor working relationships
  • Needing the “win” to keep their job and feed their ego
  • Lack of discernment
  • Relying on “how it’s always been done”
  • Fear of looking bad if the idea or employee fails

These fears create psychological safety issues. When bosses take credit, withhold information, or avoid honest conversations, trust evaporates and the team, customers, and company pay the price.

Your Legacy Requires Savvy, Moxie, and Guts

Your legacy isn’t built by waiting for a better boss. It’s built by learning how to work with imperfect bosses, especially when they are uncomfortable with your success. Legacy leaders use these opportunities to strengthen their influence, build resilience, and demonstrate strategic maturity.

Josh learned how to work with his fearful boss, Sam. After an intentional conversation, Josh became a confident go-to person to work with Sam, and Sam appreciated Josh’s efforts. Several months later, the owner of the company called Josh: “I hear you’re doing amazing work. When you’re ready, I’d like to make you president of one of my companies.” All because Josh learned how to work with a boss who lacked good people skills.

Your ability to navigate fear — yours or someone else’s — determines your legacy.

Own Your Leadership First

Know why you’re in the role. Identify the skills, experience, or business goals that make staying worthwhile for now. Use your “brags” to build confidence and credibility for yourself and your team.

Have intentional conversations. Share accomplishments, learn your team’s individual goals, and listen more than talk. This is how you build trust and reduce your boss’s fear-based reactions.

Do the work. Conversations mean nothing without action. Make the company, team, and customers look good consistently. This means learning to work without expecting praise or applause from your boss.

Set aside your ego. Yes, you have an ego too. Find other ways to acknowledge your own successes, and offer sincere congrats to your team members. Your legacy expands when you consistently elevate your team, even when your boss cannot do the same.

Protect Your Legacy

Keep people apprised. Document progress, interactions, and decisions. This protects you and strengthens your brand. If appropriate, cc the boss’s boss or board members. Keep copies on a personal device and use for performance reviews, individually and as a team.

Don’t gossip. Gossip destroys your credibility when discussing a bad boss, and erodes your leadership brand. It also signals your own insecurity, which is the opposite of the legacy you wish to build.

Stay detached. Proving you’re right about a bad boss is a losing game. They are in the position for a reason, usually political. Detachment keeps you strategic and protects long-term opportunities.

Use Tools That Strengthen Your Leadership

Hire an executive coach. A coach provides objectivity, clarity, and a neutral sounding board so you don’t get pulled into (or stay in) fear-based dynamics.

Take a PXT Select®. A PXT Select Leadership assessment reveals your strengths, blind spots, and communication style and how you interact with others, especially your boss. Objective insights help you adjust, reduce friction, and stay effective regardless of others’ fears.

Note: Josh’s success came from having both: an executive coach and a PXT Select assessment.

Keep Your Options Open

Opportunities will arise to restructure, reassign, or upgrade your role in the company. Don’t jump too quickly. Use discernment to avoid repeating the same pattern of working for another insecure boss.

Self-Care Matters

Your body will tell you when you need time away due to the stress (yes, it’s there – even for Type As). Listen and honor it. Remember, ignoring stress will eventually lead to poor decisions, not trusting yourself, overlooking important details, and poor health.

Your Legacy Is Bigger Than Your Fear

When you work for a boss who fears congratulating you and your team, don’t let it define your future or your legacy. Your ability to stay strategic, courageous, and focused does, and so does your ability to work with this boss.

Moving forward in your career, you will run into others who exhibit the same limiting behaviors and attitudes. Steer clear, and when you cannot, learn how to work well with them. It is a huge leadership advantage for your career and future.

When you combine savvy decision making, moxie in how you show up, and the guts to keep going, you become the legacy leader your company is appreciates having (e.g., bonuses, perks, promotions).

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Why We Get Stopped (And How to Finally Move Forward)

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The core truth is simple and uncomfortable: we don’t get stopped because of our skills, talents, or interests. We get stopped because we fail to do the work. The difference between people who achieve meaningful results and those who wish they had is not brilliance, luck, or inspiration. It’s action … taking consistent, imperfect, forward‑moving action.

What Actually Stops Us 

  • The Remy Effect. Outwardly we talk the talk; inwardly we fear taking the required actions. When fears of not being enough, not having enough, or being judged appear, remember: the fear shows up because you’re moving forward.
  • Waiting for permission. You don’t need permission to begin, proceed, or excel.
  • “I don’t have everything I need.” You won’t. Start anyway. In writing a book, characters and plots emerge after you begin. In business, clarity comes after the first step.
  • Shiny objects. New ideas, distractions, and “opportunities” will appear. If they don’t fit your intention, move on. They are major deterrents to completion.
  • Misleading expectations. The process rarely looks like you think it should, especially when you’re “almost there.” Even if you’ve done something similar before, internal and external changes happen. Be flexible without ditching or rewriting the goal and intention. Keep going.
  • Self-Worth. If you fear failure or making a mistake, you’re making it mean too much about you. Remember, there is value in learning what doesn’t work and how to keep moving forward. 

Common Deterrents We Misinterpret as “Good Reasons”

  • Everyone has the same 24/7. It’s not time; it’s the choices we make.
  • Money reflects your history, environment, and beliefs. You’ve survived challenges before and you’re still here. Find a committed listener. Share your story twice, then stop. Don’t get stuck inside of it. Now, create the plan out loud, write it down, and immediately take one action step.
  • Life challenges occur. And, they will. When wanting to write a book, deal with a child on drugs, navigate career uncertainty, handle a difficult customer or team … none of these will resolve themselves without taking the right actions. Hire, and listen to, the right therapist, advisor, or expert. Create a plan. Follow it. Expect challenges and work through them one at a time.
  • The “Purpose Trap.” Many people believe they must find their “purpose” before acting. This is a trap. “Purpose” emerges from doing, not from comparing your journey to others’ successes.

 Doing the Work: The Real Differentiator

People who succeed aren’t necessarily more talented. They simply do the work:

  • They stay in action. When stopped, they learn why and move forward.
  • They take small steps. One step at a time keeps momentum alive.
  • They practice self‑care. Your health and wellbeing are your wealth.
  • They keep moving even when the path feels messy or unclear. You’ve never been this way before—be adventurous and bold.
  • They value essential support: coach + team. Together, they create momentum you cannot generate alone.
  • Keeps you out of your own way, stops self‑sabotage, and helps you stay accountable.
  • Moves the project forward. If team members lack skills or willingness, let them go. Wrong team members stall progress more than any external obstacle.
  • Every pursuit requires:
  • A clear goal. A specific outcome you commit to achieving with purpose.
  • A daily intention. A focused priority guiding your choices and energy today.
  • Consistent movement. Small, steady actions that maintain momentum toward your goal.

Not perfection. Not certainty. Consistent movement.

The Hardest Truth

Life isn’t stopping you. You are stopping yourself.

When you rely on your inner emotional and mental voices, they whisper doubt, fear, comparison, or hesitation. These must be tamed:

  • Acknowledge the voice.
  • Reframe the message.
  • Move forward anyway.

This is how intuition becomes your guide, and feelings stop running the show. 

An Example 

A woman insisted on being in charge of everything, and her results were always so‑so because she never learned to work with and through others. This is exactly how many people get stopped: fear, uncertainty, shiny distractions, and rigid expectations prevent forward movement. Once she shifted her mindset, trusted collaboration, and stayed in action, her outcomes improved significantly … showing that life isn’t stopping you; you stop yourself when you don’t consistently move forward.

Takeaway

You don’t need more talent, more skill, or more inspiration.

  • You need to begin.
  • You need to continue.
  • You need to stay in action.
  • Create your goal and your intention.
  • Hire an executive coach and use tools like PXT Select® to stay objective and on track.
  • Select your team.
  • Now, take action.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Are You Avoiding Kindness?

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Real kindness requires backbone, not telling people what they want to hear (aka platitudes). In today’s workplace, kindness is required to be effective and to be a results‑producer.

A lack of kindness often comes at the expense of teamwork, accountability, quality, client care, and the bottom line.

Kindness used to mean helping people grow, telling the truth, and doing what’s right even when it’s hard.

But today, “kindness” has been reduced to being agreeable, avoiding discomfort, and keeping everyone happy. It’s a way of avoiding potential legal issues, addressing unreasonable demands, and preventing team or customer upsets. That’s not kindness. When leaders focus on being liked, keeping the customer or boss happy, and protecting the bottom line, this surface‑level civility (aka fake kindness) creates a legacy of being nice but makes the leader ineffective.

Where Has Kindness Gone Missing?

  • Truth telling. Leaders avoid honest feedback to “be kind,” leaving teams stuck, costs rising, and customers unhappy.
  • Accountability. Standards are softened to avoid hurt feelings, creating mediocrity.
  • Follow-through. Leaders promise support but fail to provide the resources and feedback required, negatively impacting the company and clients.
  • Kindness creates confusion when leaders tolerate conflicts, factions, and groupthink out of fear of being labeled a bad or mean boss.
  • Hard conversations are avoided due to lack of skill, fear of failure, or making the situation worse.
  • Kindness is applied selectively, creating confusion and resentment.
  • Offense‑seeking. Teams (and leaders) look for opportunities to feel offended, diminished, or discredited.
  • Decision‑making. Leaders delay or avoid making timely decisions to prevent upsetting someone, harming progress and trust.
  • Performance management. Avoiding tough conversations about poor performance hurts the individual, the team, and the customer.

The Blunt Truth About Kindness

Kindness isn’t soft or fuzzy. As a leader, it’s crucial to develop kindness with a backbone while guiding teams and customers through the inevitable difficulties, conflicts, and upsets.

  • Be Clear. Clarity is kindness. Provide the resources and truth required to get the job done. These conversations will take longer. The benefit? They allow the team to be innovative and surpass the intended results.
  • Be Direct. Directness with diplomacy prevents misunderstandings and raises standards. Keep the goal and intention in the forefront to move everyone forward.
  • Be Consistent. Consistency builds trust when you tell the truth early, directly, and respectfully. Remember you will need to repeat it many times during meetings and conversations.
  • Be Accountable. Accountability protects people and results through intended actions, not avoidance.
  • Be Courageous. Courage is the highest form of kindness for yourself and others. It guides teams and customers to do what they’ve been avoiding.
  • Be Compassionate. Chances are you’ve had a similar experience. Share a short story about how you handled a situation or relationship to support your own growth.
  • Be Generous. Appreciate each team member’s contribution. Encourage them to brag about their successes too.
  • Be Self‑Aware. Listen to the “tiny voice in your head” before saying something you’ll regret. Stop, breathe, and use silence when your critical voice is too loud.

A Leader’s Self‑Check

  • “Am I being kind or just agreeable?”
  • “Am I helping this person grow or keeping them comfortable?”
  • “Am I avoiding the truth and calling it kindness?”
  • “Am I protecting people through silence at the expense of the team or client?”
  • “Am I being authentic or just saying what is expected of me?”
  • “Are my expectations ego‑based?”
  • “Am I failing to hire the right people required to achieve needed results for customers?”
  • “Am I gaslighting someone because I failed to take responsibility?” (e.g., overscheduling, failing to keep promises, failing to listen, ignoring policies or systems)

Kindness isn’t about keeping people comfortable. It’s about guiding them to succeed. In today’s work world, kindness is required.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Be a Bold-Committed Listener and Achieve Stellar Results

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Mastering the art of being a bold, committed listener is not just impressive, it’s a game-changer in your role as a boss and leader. This skill doesn’t go unnoticed. It empowers you to create an environment where team members, customers, and even your bosses can express themselves freely, without fear of you becoming defensive or offended. They feel truly heard and valued, which is a powerful tool in your leadership arsenal.

As a bold listener, you hold the key to unlocking your team’s potential. You can turn a problematic situation, conflict, or poor performance into a positive outcome. Often, the solution is right there, waiting to be heard. By simply listening, you empower your team to find their own solutions, boosting their confidence and satisfaction in their contributions.

Being a bold, committed listener isn’t hard, but it takes your willingness to listen, especially when you don’t want to hear what is said.

How to Be a Bold, Committed Listener Who Values Others

Identify Your Biases. Identifying and acknowledging your biases, snap judgments, and instant assessments about others is essential to becoming a committed listener. Yes, we ALL have them. It’s important to be aware and set them aside when listening to others. This self-awareness is a crucial aspect of effective communication and understanding.

Encourage Face-to-Face Conversations. Either on-site or via online conferencing. Relying on emails or texts will cause miscommunication, and people (including you) will not feel heard. Poor communication is often due to reliance on emojis, misused jargon, inability to articulate true thoughts and feelings, and abbreviations.

Be Present. Do not drive while having a conversation! I cannot say this enough: multi-tasking is a myth. (If you don’t believe me, use a search engine to read about how the brain is wired.) Set aside electronic distractions and anything else that distracts your attention, including internal mental chatter!

Choose Your Words. Be responsible for the words you use when responding to others. Labeling people never goes well and can be offensive. One of the most common labels right now is “narcissist.” Encourage others using these labels to “use their words” to describe their issues and concerns instead of using labels or catch-all phrases.

Silence is Golden. Allow others to use you as a sounding board, which is part of your job as a boss and leader. Ask open-ended questions to direct the conversation and guide them to find the answers for themselves.

Tell Stories. People love stories when they are brief and on-point in the conversation. A well-told story will be what the person will remember for a very long time. Note: Keep people’s names and other identifiers confidential.

Celebrate Unrecognized Achievements. Too often, people downplay what they’ve accomplished and fail to brag!. Be the type of leader who not only hears the successes but also says, “Congrats!”

©Jeannette Seibly 2024 – 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Today’s Professionals Can’t Afford to Stay Lukewarm – It’s Time to Leverage Up

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Many business professionals today are flying solo in consulting, coaching, or taking on fractional roles, while still relying on the same mindset, habits, and approaches they used years ago. The result? Lukewarm performance, frustrated clients, and stalled careers. It’s not a legacy that successful professionals want to leave.

It’s time to leverage up and elevate your integrity, mindset, and practices so you can deliver real value and empower yourself rather than being unconsciously complacent or fearful.

What Happens When You Fail to Leverage Up

When you stay in your comfort zone, you unintentionally cap your effectiveness. You repeat outdated methods, rely on assumptions, and overlook the habits that limit your impact … no matter what you tell yourself.

The cost is real:

  • Clients lose confidence
  • Employees disengage
  • Revenues decline
  • Your reputation stagnates
  • Your self-talk isn’t positive

Professionals who fail to leverage up often don’t see the problem because they’re too busy doing the work to notice they’ve stopped growing.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

Today’s business environment demands adaptability, emotional intelligence, and integrity. When you don’t elevate your mindset, you unintentionally create risk for the people who depend on you. And, as Warren Buffet would say, without “integrity” the other two won’t matter!

Leaders, consultants, and coaches who stay lukewarm:

  • Miss critical details
  • Rely on outdated thinking
  • Overlook blind spots
  • Fail to build trust
  • Struggle to deliver consistent results

And remember, this isn’t about perfection. It’s about responsibility.

How to Leverage Up Your Effectiveness

  • Be Open. Everyone has a block: an internal barrier that keeps them stuck. Before you dismiss an idea, consider how often you resist feedback, avoid discomfort, or rely on what you already know. Openness is the gateway to growth. Ask open-ended questions to move the conversation forward.
  • Know Thy Self. Most professionals believe they are self-aware. Yet they fail to see how others experience working or interacting with them. Blind spots, defensiveness, and fear of the unknown limit effectiveness. Use job fit assessment tools that provide the scientific validation for objectivity and insights.
  • Hire an Executive Coach. Yes, I know … you don’t believe you can afford to do so. The problem is you cannot afford not to do so! An experienced coach can guide you through challenges, relationships, and opportunities and increase your awareness as you build your legacy.
  • Invest in Yourself. Take at least one course a year. Listen to podcasts that elevate your thinking. Read materials that challenges your assumptions. Growth requires intentional input.
  • Avoid Shiny Objects. Hype is everywhere. Tools, trends, and shortcuts promise miracles. Be responsible for what you adopt and how you guide others. Your credibility depends on discernment.
  • Use a Healthy Ego. Your ego isn’t the enemy … a misused ego is. A healthy ego keeps you focused on results, helps you resist bad habits (e.g., talking over others), and supports confident collaboration.
  • Use Assessments Appropriately. Not all assessments are scientifically or legally sound. Most fail the Department of Labor standards for pre-employment and selection use. Relying on weak tools damages trust and exposes employees and clients to risk.
  • Lead with Integrity When you cut corners, use inappropriate tools, or fail to honor your commitments, you lose your ability to influence a team, system, or client. Integrity is the foundation for leveraging up.

Get Started and Leverage Up

To start the process, use the PXT Select® Leadership Report to provide objective insights into how you think, behave, and make decisions … especially under pressure.

This state-of-the-art tool helps professionals:

  • Understand natural strengths
  • Identify blind spots
  • Improve communication
  • Reduce conflict
  • Strengthen team alignment

These tools (along with an experienced coach) bolster both leaders and team members, especially when miscommunication, conflict, or repeated mistakes have eroded trust.

The Bottom Line

Leveraging up is not optional. It’s the difference between being a professional who merely “does the work” and one who elevates people, systems, and results leaving a positive legacy.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

How Do You Handle Feedback without Being Defensive?

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Receiving feedback and hearing it is a skill that many leaders and bosses need to develop. Being defensive is a difficult behavior to overcome since, too often, people want to defend their actions, attitudes, and results.

Why?

They:

  • Find it hard to laugh at themselves
  • Worked hard but failed to ask for help and instead accepted mediocrity
  • Have a perfectionist attitude
  • Feel misjudged (and it may be true)
  • Are overly sensitive to hearing anything that is negative
  • Blame the person delivering the feedback for the way they speak or deliver the information – their excuse for not listening

As a leader, you may cause team members to be defensive when you:

  • Are critical
  • Overreact to situations
  • Expect perfection
  • Take things personally
  • Have poor feedback and coaching skills

The additional problem is, coaching and feedback are difficult to hear when delivered poorly!

Yet, you will find that people excel when they are open and receptive to feedback without being defensive. (Think of well-paid sports people, leaders excelling in their work, entrepreneurs selling their startups, etc.)

How to Hear Feedback without Being Defensive

  • Be open and value the insight, whether you want to hear it or not.
  • Set aside ego. While you may not like being judged, develop a healthy ego that is committed to your success.
  • Ask for clarification or example. Ask open-ended questions, and hear the value offered. (Even when the feedback or coaching is poorly delivered.)
  • Thank the person for their insights. Include their recommendations where appropriate (e.g., if you winging presentations, a plan and practice will make a big difference in your career).
  • Remember, saying you’ll think about it is a different way of being defensive.

How to Deliver Feedback without Being Defensive

  • Talk with a select few people that were impacted or aware of the situation. Be careful about nitpicking someone’s personality. If someone talks too much, instead of saying that, say, “It’s important in these situations that you listen more than talk. And, here’s why.”
  • Use sandwich or direct approach. This depends on the person and the type of feedback you need to deliver.
  • Practice with your coach. Especially if you’re a new leader, or believe the person will be defensive.
  • Keep it simple. No more than two key issues or challenges. Yes, there may be more feedback you feel is necessary. But that can be overwhelming and not helpful. (I’ve seen leaders and bosses give an employee a list of 20 items … the person was overwhelmed and became defensive. Consider, in this case and similar ones, that it is due to poor job fit.) Again, to ensure great results, only provide two at a time and check in with the person to determine progress before adding additional areas for improvement … you find additional feedback is not necessary.
  • Make a plan for improvement. For team members, it’s important that there is a process they can follow and learn from.
    • Either: The most effective choice is to have the person create it (be clear about required outcomes and have a “By When Date” this will occur).
    • Or, provide a process for them to follow, which will not be as effective because there may not be buy in, and will be effective as long as you are managing the process.
  • Now, follow-up and follow-through. Most people skip this … big mistake! You need to have regular check ins to ensure progress is being made. It also shows your commitment to the person’s success.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Want to Accelerate Career Options? Make a Lateral Move

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I remember talking with a woman who had been unemployed for a while. When I suggested she ‘stretch’ from finance into operations by making a lateral move, she looked at me like I’d grown another head.

“Oh no! I’m very committed to staying in my profession,” she exclaimed.

I replied, “It doesn’t mean you will not return to finance. However, gaining operational experience in running a department or team can greatly boost your business acumen. Lateral moves can provide you a diverse skill set, increased visibility, and credibility as a future leader.”

What are lateral career moves?

A lateral career move is a strategic transition to a role at the same level of responsibility and pay, designed to broaden skills, gain new experiences, and position yourself for future advancement. (Indeed)

What are the benefits?

  • Can be beneficial for learning new skills or securing your future.
  • Learning different duties or responsibilities.
  • Increased visibility
  • Credibility as a future leader
  • Note: Not recommended if you make too many of them or face a career setback.

Making a lateral move doesn’t mean you were not qualified in your current profession or previous position. A “stretch position” can accelerate your career growth and options because it provides broader exposure to business challenges, making you a better boss/leader, decision-maker, and business professional. It’s also a great way to skill stack your experiences, education, and expertise.

How to Prepare for a Lateral Move

Job Fit Assessment. Be clear about your strengths and weaknesses before making a job transition. Use an objective job fit assessment that provides a “job fit pattern” for the lateral position. This helps you (and your new boss) understand where to focus when coaching and managing you for success.

Get Your Brag On! Complete the five easy steps for sharing your wins and successes. Sharing these during networking meetings and interviews for the lateral position will make a difference. Remember, there will be “cross-over” skills, and you must emphasize them (e.g., communication, finance, people, technology) since you cannot rely on the job titles, professional experiences, and job responsibilities they normally seek.

Networking Works. Do your homework by going out for coffee or lunch, or Zoom with several people already working in the profession. What do they enjoy about it? What are the challenges? How can you, with your current experiences, make a difference? Use open-ended questions to learn more. Remember, this is crucial … listen to learn!

Prepare for the Interview. You will be ready for the interview after following the first three recommendations above. Be sure to conduct your due diligence during all interviews for the lateral position about expectations, goals, and any challenges in the position. It is important to address any reluctance of the company, team, or hiring boss upfront without being defensive. After you’ve been offered the position, it’s time to discuss salary and benefits … they may not change … this is about gaining experience, not a pay increase at the present moment.

Keys for Success: Learn the basics, listen more than talk, and have a positive can-do attitude. Hire an executive coach and select a mentor to talk through the inevitable sticky situations and political work relationships that will occur. Also, take the time now to develop essential leadership skills in emotional intelligence, communication, critical thinking, and project management. These are valued “cross-over skills” in any position aka skill stacking.

©Jeannette Seibly 2024-2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Why We Block Ourselves and How to Finally Step Through

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Many people block themselves, especially if they are high achievers and struggle with self‑imposed barriers. What’s missing for them and the rest of us? Accountability, resilience, responsibility, clarity, and moving forward.

These blocks can last hours, days, and weeks.

Common blocks are:

  • Many of us have confidence, yet choose not to use it.
  • We can be great listeners, yet talk over people.
  • We are reliable, yet arrive late or deliver incomplete work.
  • We are results‑producers, yet fail to make the sale or get buy‑in for a new idea.
  • We are leaders, yet have become followers of something we don’t even believe in.

The problem isn’t the block. The problem is what we make the block mean.

No one is perfect. Forgive yourself, apologize when needed, and step through and move forward now. Stop waiting and take one step today that honors your word and moves you forward. If you’re still stuck or blocked, consider talking with an executive coach or therapist to help you regain clarity and momentum.

The Real Reasons We Give in to the Blocks

When asked why we don’t get work done, pursue a dream, or complete a project, most people offer familiar excuses:

  • “I have a bad boss.”
  • “I don’t enjoy my job.”
  • “Someone else can handle it.”
  • “I don’t have the money.”
  • “I don’t have the time.”

But the truth is simpler and harder to admit: You actually don’t want to do it, and no one is going to make you. It’s your block!

Today, many people feel entitled to their emotional reactions, using them as justification to block their own success. We all have emotional blocks. They can tend to show up at the worst possible times. Yet, the problem is we treat them as if they are the truth about ourselves, the situation, or the relationship!

Remember, there are many other people with the same familiar excuses, yet they persevere and step forward, creating momentum by taking one small step at a time.

A Moment of Choice

Recently, at a first‑time event, I found myself hesitating since I didn’t know anyone but the host of the meeting. I was being careful, quiet, and holding back. Then I caught myself: “Whoa. Stop.”

When the leader called on me, I stepped through the block and spoke with confidence. That’s the moment everything shifted: the moment I chose to be the person I am.

Now, think of a moment when you have allowed your self‑consciousness or fear to block you and get in the way. Then you used it as your excuse to play small, withhold ideas, or leave the conversation early (while still in the meeting).

This is your reminder to stop letting those moments define you. It requires taking the first step through them now, or reach out to an executive coach who can help you practice doing so.

How to Get There

  • Get thoughts out of your head and onto paper.
  • Acknowledge the block. Name it. Don’t dramatize it.
  • Listen to podcasts. Fill your mind with voices that elevate your thinking.
  • Write a full page of successes. Wins, abundance, positive moments. Writing activates the brain differently and builds confidence. (For additional insight, “Get Your Brag On!”)
  • Stay out of rabbit holes. Overthinking is a trap disguised as productivity.
  • Set a daily goal and intention. Small commitments build momentum.
  • Dial up humbleness; dial down ego. Replace “I shouldn’t have to do this” with “This moves me forward.” A healthy (not overactive) ego can make a world of difference!
  • Allow others to help. Drop the “I can do it myself” mindset.
  • Review what’s true. Separate your reality from others’ expectations.
  • Apologize to yourself and others. Then follow through. Integrity grows from action.

If you continue to struggle on how to step through you block(s), work with a coach or a therapist to help you stay accountable and move forward faster.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

The Secrets of an Effective Apology

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Many leaders have trouble admitting they were wrong, or their actions had a negative impact on a person or group. Or, they failed to fulfill a promise using the age-old excuses of failing to remember or being too busy. To make matters worse, they attempt to blame others.

Mistakes happen! How you handle them either builds your credibility or diminishes your career growth.

One overlooked truth is that explanations rarely rebuild trust, apologies do. Explanations satisfy the mind, but apologies repair the relationship.

When leaders (and others) offer explanations, it’s a fear of …

  • Admitting they were wrong
  • Failing to take responsibility
  • Listening and speaking honestly
  • The list is endless

What’s often overlooked is the deeper fear underneath all of this: losing psychological safety.

When leaders avoid apologizing, they unintentionally signal that mistakes are dangerous to admit, creating a culture where people stay silent rather than speak up.

The costs:

  • Top talent – no one wants to be lied to
  • Clients – no one wants to be manipulated
  • Management team – unwilling to take responsibility for leaders’ words or actions
  • Team culture – blame becomes normalized, and people mirror the leader’s defensiveness
  • Productivity – issues linger longer even though a simple apology could have resolved them sooner

Polly, Director of Customer Support, told employees they needed to be in the office three days a week but failed to update policies or address obvious logistical issues. She let everyone continue as before. Some never showed up. Instead of apologizing, she shrugged, “Well … people will be people.” The impact on revenues, retention, and results was significant. With her executive coach’s support, Polly finally apologized and cleaned up the mess by implementing a clear hybrid policy and enforcing it.

Have you ever noticed that when leaders, who you respect, are also the ones that don’t hesitate to apologize? “I’m sorry …” “Oops, my misunderstanding …” They take full responsibility for what they heard and what they have said. Their willingness to apologize creates psychological safety and people feel safe speaking up, asking questions, and being honest.

Understanding the secrets of a powerful apology and developing this all-important skill is required of everyone in any leadership role.

The Three Secrets

Accountability. Being honest about why you did something may not be helpful. Instead, simply say, “I apologize.” Set aside your ego, excuses, and other bad habits when you’ve made a mistake. Otherwise, you diminish your reputation.

  • Apologize for not understanding and share the work that gave you a new perspective.
  • Take a step back and stay emotionally unattached to the outcome.
  • Truly listen to build win‑win‑win results using active listening skills.

Respect. Respect is two‑sided. When leaders don’t apologize for lack of preparation or late arrivals, team members feel dismissed. Explanations meant to elicit sympathy eventually backfire.

  • Respect for others requires stopping the excuses and simply apologizing.
  • Explanations fall flat and are heard as inauthentic.
  • Respect for yourself and your team includes apologizing when your lack of direction has created confusion.

Example: If you’ve allowed your team to be late to meetings, it’s time to change that bad habit: “I apologize upfront that I’ve not been consistent. It’s important that each of you arrive prepared and ready to go at the scheduled time. Any questions?”

Courage. Admitting a mistake and taking responsibility for your team’s poorly completed work takes courage. First, apologize. Then ask questions … not to defend what happened, but to clarify what was overlooked. Remember, 80% of communication is non‑verbal; mental chatter or a defensive ego will distract everyone from resolving the issue.

© Jeannette Seibly, 2017–2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.