Optimize Human Performance

Stop Waiting to Figure It All Out Before You Begin

October 1, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Many legacy leaders stay stuck because they are trying to figure it all out before they take any action or move forward on a project or goal. They are waiting for clarity to avoid surprises or upsets in the event things don’t work out. And they are trying to avoid a similar mistake or failure that they’ve experienced in the past.

However, you can never figure everything out in advance because life, people, projects, and circumstances will always change.

Overthinking and analyzing becomes a stall tactic and are not effective strategies.

What Gets in the Way:

Fear of _____ (you fill in the blank)
Uncertainty of what will happen
Lack of confidence in your ability to handle changes
Obstacles that seem insurmountable
Overthinking or overanalyzing
Not forgiving yourself
Failing to learn from past mistakes or failures
Unable to adjust plan without changing the goal

5 Key Tips to Stop Waiting and Begin

Embrace Uncertainty. Many legacy leaders do not have a good relationship with uncertainty. They feel that at age 55+ they should already have life handled and figured out. They believe that any uncertainty is their gut or intuition telling them not to do something. The truth is fear comes in many disguises that keeps you stuck and prevent you from moving forward. Journal your fears and concerns. Listen to podcasts. Now, “try out” something new and different.
Shrink Your Focus to Today and Tomorrow. Big thinkers get themselves in trouble when getting started and even more trouble while staying in action. They overthink, make things too complicated, and fail to understand or address the details effectively. Progress happens when you focus on the small steps required today and tomorrow.

Example, you want to move to live closer to your adult children. However, you may have income, health, or employability challenges (e.g., type of work you will accept) that prevent you from making the move. Begin by working with a career coach, conducting effective networking, and having a resume that showcases your results (See Get Your Brag On! OR The Secret to Winning the Job: Start Bragging).

Create Deliberate Intention. Deliberate intention is choosing what matters right now and acting on it. Too often, we get in our own way by overthinking and analyzing challenges that may never occur.

First, declare you will honor your commitment and intention to do so.
Second, create the goal and intention. (Remember, 10 words or less.)
Third, ask for help by building a team to support you.
Fourth, stay focused on the goal and actions required.
Fifth, celebrate each win. (Get Your Brag On!)
Finally, don’t forget to acknowledge the lessons learned.

Example, when a man was forced to quit his job due to health issues, it created a financial hardship. By asking for help, he was able to increase his income (pension, SS, and other benefits). But the problem was, his pie-in-the-sky mindset kept getting in his way of moving forward. He believed he had more money to spend than he did, and allowed his vision of what must happen to keep him stuck. By working with a financial coach, he was able to get his thinking in line with his income.

Focus on One Area of Your Life at a Time. People often freeze because one part of their life lacks clarity or there are issues to resolve. They believe that if they can “fix” that one area, all the other areas will magically fall into place. It’s a comforting false belief. For example, refusing to take a great job opportunity because it pays less than you are currently making.

Only focus on one area at a time to resolve an issue (e.g., relationships, finances, or health). Solving the problem will create a new level of confidence to address other issues (e.g., career, projects, or personal goals). Attempting to take on more than one at a time will inevitability cause burn-out and stress and hurt the progress you made (e.g., relationship with your boss – resolving an issue about handing in assignments late requires you to now hand in your assignments on time).

Make the right decision for you. You can only make decisions with accurate information available right now, not what you wish you had or what someone else experienced. This is where flexibility is important.

Make the best decision you can with what you currently know.
Adjust as needed new information emerges. Having a coach or committed listener can keep you from jumping on information that may have no bearing on your goal or simply be fake.
Don’t wait for perfect conditions; they don’t exist.
Progress relies on beginning and stay focused, not continuing to think about it.

Remember, change is inevitable and stagnation is optional.

Effective legacy leaders keep moving and don’t wait for perfect clarity before taking the first action. They know that forward motion creates momentum and clarity.

Remember,

You don’t need to figure it all out.
You need to begin, adjust, and continue as you take the small steps required.
Your confidence, competence, and ability will naturally strengthen as you move forward.

Consider hiring an executive coach to get you started and ensure you’re moving forward in a direction that supports your success.

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Oops! I Made a Mistake. Now, How Do I Resolve It?

September 28, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Normally when bosses and leaders make mistakes, they blame others, have thoughts of retribution, or hide out. The problem? They fail to take responsibility and hold themselves accountable for fixing it.

When leaders fail to admit or own their mistakes, they often attempt to hide the mistake or talk over it. This ripple effect impacts the team, customers, and bottom line. Trust has been eroded and is usually difficult to regain.

Tips to Resolving Mistakes

Complete What Worked? / What Didn’t Work? This simple exercise will objectively clarify what happened when you use specific numbers and/or other metrics. When you complete the exercise, you will see what needs to be done to move forward. (See the full exercise, Get Your Brag On!)

Talk with Your Boss. Be in communication! The worst thing is having the boss learn about your mistake from others. Use the exercise above to clarify. Ask him/her for input and any other insights without being defensive.

Hire an Executive Coach. Many times, guilt or other emotions can get in the way of doing what’s best for the team, company, and client. Hiring an executive coach allows for confidential conversations. These sessions can guide you through the best way to resolve it. It also supports your self-esteem and self-worth after having made a mistake or experienced a failure, especially if others have warned you ahead of time.

Apologize. Apologizing is the hardest skill for most bosses and leaders to learn! We either ignore the need to do it, or overdo it! A simple “I’m sorry” works, whether it is to an individual or the team. Use the word “I” and don’t repeat yourself more than once!

Listen to the Feedback. Hearing what happened from others’ perspectives is important. It rebuilds trust if you’ve done the work required to correct the mistake. Remember, owning the mistake is important, and not allowing others to place the blame on the company, client, or economy … or each other! (It’s a short-lived feel good. But long-term, doesn’t resolve the mistake or failure.)

Listen for the Unsaid. Practice listening for the unsaid from your team members, customers, or boss … they may not realize they have the solution! Be careful because your ego may get in the way of your ability to truly listen.

Create a Recovery Plan. After acknowledging the mistake, outline the steps to resolve it. Identify the root cause, clarify responsibilities, set timelines, and follow up. This reinforces accountability and demonstrates leadership maturity. Always listen for feedback to avoid repeating the mistake or causing a different one!

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

My Life Goal Is Not Happening! What Do I Do Now?

September 24, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

I write a lot about fulfilling your goals and dreams in business and life. Yet, there are times, your life goal or desire just isn’t going to happen. Regardless of what you do, say, or think!

Sometimes goals don’t materialize because:

Timing has passed
Resources required are no longer available
Your skills or mindset don’t support the requirements for the new job position or opportunities
You’ve not taken the focused actions required
Financial or economic realities have changed
Your life circumstances have changed (e.g., health, energy, or priority-shift)

It may be time to pivot.

Two different examples … which one do you identify with?

#1. A 66-year-old man retired twice from the same job since he wasn’t happy sitting at home every day. The second time, he joined a men’s group, but the members didn’t offer him the energy and identity he loved (job title, interaction, and problem-solving). Based on what he said he enjoyed, I suggested he start a handyman service. But he had many reasons why not (some valid – liability for workmanship; others not valid – wanted flexibility). What he failed to understand was there are many ways to create a part-time small business and make it work. He’s still complaining about being bored.

#2. A 70-year-old woman had already accomplished a lot in her life. Yet, she had a big goal that seemed elusive, and she felt stuck. She was in action, but nothing was happening. After our conversation, she pivoted and released the old goal. Then, she found something better! Now, she’s enjoying working for a startup.

When you stop holding on to a dream or goal too tightly, other opportunities can be seen and heard.

And here’s the important part to consider: success changes as you change. What mattered at 30, 40 or 50 may not matter at 60 or 70. Today, success may look like quality of life, meaningful contribution, financial stability, and enjoying your time. It’s no longer about chasing outdated benchmarks or outdated success factors, or hanging on to an identity (e.g., job title) you’ve outgrown.

Remember, there are many new jobs and services becoming available for seniors, and others. Take advantage of them.

To Move Forward:

Forgive yourself. Write yourself a letter. Forgive that you didn’t achieve that elusive goal. Also, release the “identity” you created around it (e.g., job title, paycheck, ego, etc.). Now release it. Yes, it will pop back in your mind as you move forward. Just release it again. Remember, your ego loves to hold on to the past in the form of regrets. Acknowledge. Release asap!

Shed a few tears. Yes, you will experience regret and grief over a hope or desire you’ve hung on to for so many years. Releasing a long-time hoped-for identity is hard. Now’s the time to create what’s next.

Determine what’s possible.

What do you realistically need: financially, health-wise, personal fulfillment, family, etc.?
What is a realistic goal to achieve at least one of them?
What would be fun to do or have?
Where would you really like to live?

For example, if you wish to travel, buying a house or condo may not be the best investment for you given the upkeep, property taxes, and other required (escalating HOA) monthly payments.

Questions to ask yourself and journal (remember, writing engages your brain differently than using electronics to answer these questions):

What would be the best goal or desire for me to pursue? (Set aside your ego!)
Where can I live and easily pay my expenses each month?
What can I do part-time to ensure I’m having fun and doing things I enjoy?
What groups or other activities could I participate in?

Get the support required. In story #2 above, her husband paid for my executive coaching services to help his wife clarify what was realistic. Afterwards, she became easier to live with, and happier too.

Now, do the work. Remember, small steps forward with focused actions! Time to get in action!

**Below is a gift: “Move Forward” Game Plan (Fun Edition) to get you focused. Have fun!

**Your “Move Forward” Game Plan (Fun Edition)

Name the dream you’re releasing

Pick one goal you’ve quietly carried for years. The one that’s no longer aligned with your life, energy, or priorities. Give it a name. Something humorous or symbolic. Then retire it quietly and confidently.

“My Great Leadership Fantasy is now officially retired.”

This clears emotional space for what’s next.

Define your new success markers

Three simple categories (or pick ones that resonant with you and don’t overthink them):

Ease — What makes my life smoother?
Joy — What reliably lifts my spirit?
Impact — What feels meaningful to me right now?

These become your new scorecard.

Choose one lifestyle pivot based on what you “really really really want to do” and stop putting it off.

Based on your new focus pick just one. Something that aligns with your current reality and desires.

Examples:

Write a memoir for your family or a children’s book
Move to a different living environment
Shift the type of clients you pursue and your work hours
Designate more travel days
Choose fun projects, not “stress-filled” ones

Create your “small steps” ladder

Five tiny actions that move you forward. Not big leaps, just daily micro‑moves.

For example:

One conversation
One email
One exploration (e.g., craft store, talk with a tennis pro – the list is endless)
One financial check-in (e.g., work with a financial planner, list out your expenses and income)
One joyful activity (e.g., walking, day-trip)

Set up a structure to keep you moving forward. Remember, small steps are your superpower and create your momentum.

Add one delight to your week

A walk, a new coffee shop, a conversation, a class, a trip, a hobby.

This keeps your energy buoyant and your creativity alive.

Celebrate your pivot

You’ve done a lot of hard work over the years. Celebrate with writing out and celebrating your brags! You’ll be amazed by what you’ve accomplished … and it feels good too. You can also use this to share your legacy with your family.

You’ve now designed your next chapter to be lighter, clearer, and more aligned. Mark the shift with a dinner, a toast, a note to yourself, or a new journal/notebook. Remember, make this time real and fun. But don’t be afraid to pivot as you move forward and discover new opportunities and interests.

How to Hear What is Not Being Spoken

September 21, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Every leader has had to learn how to listen beyond the words being said. And with so many team members working from home today, it’s more important than ever to listen more closely.

Being able to develop the skill of hearing or sensing what is not being said or spoken is important for current and future leaders. As leaders, it’s important to have intentional conversations, listen with attention, and ask open‑ended questions to dive deeper. Developing these skills will fine-tune your ability to hear the unsaid.

Virtual meetings provide an opportunity to hide out. It’s harder to recognize and pick up on the 80 percent of non-verbal communication cues. And when you miss what’s unsaid, you risk missing deadlines, making wrong assumptions, and encountering costly rework.

Question: Have you ever talked with someone and you (and they) believed you were both on the same page? However, two weeks later you find out you were both not on the same page. That’s the gap between what was said and what was actually heard. And why it’s critical to for you to tune-up your listening!

Some people tell you what they think you want to hear.
Different people learn differently: without appropriate auditory or visual cues, they lose part of the conversation.
You’re using jargon or words that are not readily understood.
You’re rephrasing words they used instead of using the same words they used (e.g., calling someone upset when they believe they are only frustrated – different words have different meanings to people).

7 Tips to Hear What Is Not Being Said

Yes. Especially if what they say has triggered you.
Set aside any distractions. Listening is an art … and doing it well is a requirement for all leaders. Multi-tasking as a productive way to manage your time is a myth.
Quiet the mind. Set aside any internal mental chatter and emotional reactions — that literally creates a blank slate. Otherwise, all your biases, judgments, and other POVs will get in the way.
Ask open-ended questions without sounding like an interrogator when something doesn’t add up or sound right. (Remember, you could be wrong.)
Pay attention to your internal antenna. For me, when my imaginary antenna starts waving, I trust it. I wait, and if the antenna is still waving, I asked open-ended questions. This allows me to “hear” or get to the true core issue or solution.

For example:

“Interesting. You said XYZ, now you’re saying ABC. What is the difference?”
At first, they will deny the discrepancy.
Keep your tone even‑keeled. “Interesting, I’m not clear how that works—what can you show me to help explain this?” (Diagrams and pictures can make a positive difference.)

Ask them to repeat back what they heard you say and how they will proceed. Some people are great at repeating what was said without comprehending what it means. This requires patience since they are not used to sharing what they heard.
Practice daily. Spend one minute after each conversation asking yourself: What did I hear? What didn’t I hear? What felt off? This simple reflection builds your “hearing the unsaid” muscle quicker.

Remember, you are not a mind‑reader … although you may like to think you are. When you are able to hear what is not being expressed, and needs to be said, it can make a huge difference in achieving the required results.

How to Improve an Underperforming Remote Team Member

September 14, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Remote work has expanded flexibility and reduced costs. But it has also exposed personal and professional challenges leaders must address when a remote team member is underperforming. When the employee’s performance declines, the issue must be addressed quickly, clearly, and professionally—while recognizing that there may be outside influences and other obstacles contributing to the problem.

It can be difficult if you’re a leader who relies on “seeing” issues, instead of “hearing what is not said.” Or, you fail to manage by a work plan with defined goals. Many underperforming employees may not see the impact that their home work environment has on their productivity.

Remember, performance issues don’t resolve themselves. They compound. And they impact customers, team members, and business outcomes. Entrepreneurial leaders bring courage, clarity, and accountability to the conversation.

Why Remote Employees Can Underperform

Unclear Expectations. The employee may not fully understand deliverables, timelines, or quality standards. Leaders often assume clarity when none exists.
Home Environment Disruptions. Noise, unsafe surroundings, intrusive neighbors, unstable internet, or lack of a dedicated workspace can derail productivity.
Caregiver Responsibilities. Elder care, child care, medical appointments, or emergencies can interfere with schedules and concentration.
Poor Job Fit. The employee may not have the skills, temperament, or interest required for remote work, even if they were previously successful onsite.
Lack of Accountability. Without structure, deadlines, or regular check‑ins, some employees drift or prioritize personal issues over work.
Emotional Stress or Overwhelm. Personal crises, burnout, or chronic stress reduce motivation and follow‑through.
Avoidance or Fear. Employees may avoid tasks they find difficult or fear making mistakes, leading to delays and incomplete work. They fail to ask for help.
Poor Integrity. The employee may engage in activities that are not conducive to being a good neighbor (e.g., excessive vaping or smoking while working, participation in illegal activities). These reduce the employee’s attention to detail and availability to talk with customers.

These factors cannot be ignored or left unmanaged.

The Leadership Balancing Act

Entrepreneurial leaders must balance accountability with empathy. The goal is a win‑win‑win: for the employee, the team, and the business.

Have intentional conversations
Be a committed listener (hearing the unsaid)
Provide feedback and coaching
Clarify expectations without assumptions
Avoid rescuing or enabling
Focus on performance outcomes, not personality
Reinforce that remote work is still work and deliverables matter
Expect integrity and adherence to policies while on the company clock

Conducting an Intentional and Productive Conversation

A strong conversation is direct, supportive, and grounded in facts and is not based on assumptions.

Clarify Expectations — timelines, deliverables, communication standards
Identify Barriers — ask direct, professional questions about what’s getting in the way of their performance. Listen. Ask open-ended questions.
Document Agreements — written follow‑ups, timelines, and commitments must be followed-through for effectiveness

Be supportive but firm in expectations. While some flexibility may be required (e.g., work hours), there are times being flexible will not provide the change required (e.g., poor job fit).

These conversations set the foundation for accountability. But their effectiveness depends on you, the leader, to follow-up and follow-through on a consistent basis and hold the employee accountable for their results.

Create a Realistic Action Plan

Entrepreneurial leaders help employees succeed, but do not lower standards.

Adjust workload temporarily if appropriate
Set short‑term checkpoints
Encourage boundaries at home or hiring help (e.g., a caregiver)
Understand the company policies and benefit packages to assist employee in finding resources
Have employee talk with HR about external community support groups that are available

The plan must be measurable, time‑bound, and documented.

When Performance Still Doesn’t Improve

If the employee continues to struggle:

Revisit expectations and commitments
Determine whether the role is a good job fit for the employee to succeed
Consider schedule, responsibilities, or environment changes
Protect team performance, customer commitments, and business outcomes
Talk with HR and legal counsel to determine what you next steps are

Entrepreneurial leaders act decisively. Delaying action only increases risk.

Leadership Requires Courage and Clarity

Remote work doesn’t eliminate leadership responsibilities. It intensifies them. Leaders who address issues early prevent bigger problems later. Supporting employees while holding them accountable builds trust, results, and long‑term success.

Entrepreneurial leadership is about workability and creating conditions where people can succeed and where the business can thrive while their team members work remotely.

We All Think We Have the Time to Do It Later

September 10, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

After reading several tributes to Dolly Parton, it reminded me that I too don’t have time to continue thinking about it, hoping for it, or wishing life wasn’t the way it is. And many of you readers have the same challenge. You believe since you’ve hit or surpassed age 55 it’s downhill. Time to coast. Too tired to do anything or create anything new.

Nonsense! Let’s look at what can be done.

We all participate in the illusion of time, a myth of unlimited tomorrows. But the truth is we all have the same 24/7. Some people make the most of this time, while many others bide their time waiting for a different day, month, or year (maybe a decade). Time is not elastic; it’s the one resource that only shrinks as we get older. And opportunities have a tendency to evaporate if we’re taking too much time to “think about it.”

Today is the only day you can act. Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow is a guess.

There is a quiet wake‑up call that arrives after age 55: awareness that time we have left is not infinite. We start to think that time is our enemy, but, in reality, our assumptions about growing older is the true enemy.

Why “I’ll do it time later” Is the Most Dangerous Phrase for You

Later feels responsible, but it’s actually avoiding the steps needed to move forward.
Later is how days, months, and years disappear without meaningful change.
Later creates regrets.
Later allows us to remain stuck in habits, mindsets, and relying on emotional barometers.
Later fails to prioritize self.
Later lacks urgency.
Later often means hanging on to past mistakes and failures.

Time to Pivot: Choose Legacy, Not Survival

“What do you really, really, really want?” is rarely asked for many reasons. Because we’ve never asked this question, we don’t have the answer. And, often use that as an excuse for staying stuck.

The #1 excuse is the fear of failure.

You’re allowed to want more at ages 55, 65, 75, and beyond. Wanting isn’t selfish. It’s being honest. But waiting until the perfect moment has you sabotage yourself.

How to Move Forward

What Matters? Get focused on what truly matters and set aside “busy-ness.” Do not analyze or wait in an attempt to feel the feelings. What is your commitment? Getting an oil change won’t be a feel-good action for most people, but it shows a commitment to a car that works.

Finish What’s Unfinished. Write down anything that is unfinished, instead of allowing unfinished projects or people to drain your energy and confidence. Now, give yourself permission to cross off those things you know you will not do (get real – will never do)! Be honest. Remember, time isn’t going to wait for it to “feel right.”

Review current list and take one step daily (e.g., change a light bulb, clean cat box, talk with a neighbor about parking, make the phone call, schedule a doctor or dentist appointment).

Find Support. Be sure the person is committed to your success. Get in action and don’t wait for them to say yes or find the time! Move on to another person.

The Turning Point Question: “If Not Now, When?”

To get you moving in the right direction, journal the above question with direct responses. Don’t hide. Directness disrupts complacency. This allows you to reframe your legacy/dream/goal as a current responsibility, not a future project.

Legacy begins the moment you see yourself as someone who creates, not someone who expects time to wait until you’re ready.

One Action Today: The Legacy Accelerator

Choose One Commitment. Make a list to get started and write all your thoughts and ideas. Cross off all but the top 4. Now rank them in order. Do not spend time analyzing them. The truth is, numbers 2, 3, and 4 may happen when you achieve commitment #1.

Why write it down? Writing engages the brain in a manner that allows new and different ideas or ways to pop open and achieve intended results.

Make It Meaningful Enough. What do you really, really, really want? Yes, write it down. Stop analyzing or trying to feel the “real” feeling! And, don’t talk yourself out of it!

Make it Visible. Write down your #1 goal and post it on your mirror or laptop.

Make it Do-able Today. Remember, one step at a time, every day. Do not get stopped by imperfection, mistakes, or failures. Ask, “What did I learn?”

When New Ideas Pop Up. During this time, new ideas and other items will appear (e.g., an idea to sell items online that you were holding to sell someday). Write them down. Set them aside for now.

Celebrate Your Wins! Each step forward is a win! Celebrate by bragging and acknowledging yourself.

Time Isn’t the Issue. Your alignment and relationship with time is.

Repeat daily: “I choose to thrive today and I am in action fulfilling my goals.”

Now, take at least one action that feels urgent, grounded, and empowering. Remember small aligned actions repeated daily build a legacy faster than waiting to find the “time” and “energy.” Waiting for the opportunity to take the “one big effort” gets you nowhere.

Do You Work for a Boss Who Gets Nervous When You Succeed?

September 3, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Everyone has a moment of insecurity when someone else shines. But confident, competent legacy leaders congratulate their people, elevate them, and leverage success to grow the business. They don’t allow their insecurities or fears to get in the way of supporting their team members.

If your boss gets nervous when you and others succeed, you have a leadership liability inside your company. And it will cost you and your team in innovation, retention, and revenue. It’s time to learn how to work with them before moving on in your career.

When Leaders Fear Employee Success

A woman completed a tough project and was congratulated by co-workers, customers, and her boss’s boss! But her direct boss refused to say, “congrats.” Instead, the boss pointed out the weaknesses, mistakes, and other areas that were not perfect. This type of boss fears you surpassing them.

Why Bosses Fear Others’ Success

Paranoia or lack of trust due to previous bad decisions
Inability to create a solution to a problem
Incompetence due to poor job fit
Poor working relationships
Needing the “win” to keep their job and feed their ego
Lack of discernment
Relying on “how it’s always been done”
Fear of looking bad if the idea or employee fails

These fears create psychological safety issues. When bosses take credit, withhold information, or avoid honest conversations, trust evaporates and the team, customers, and company pay the price.

Your Legacy Requires Savvy, Moxie, and Guts

Your legacy isn’t built by waiting for a better boss. It’s built by learning how to work with imperfect bosses, especially when they are uncomfortable with your success. Legacy leaders use these opportunities to strengthen their influence, build resilience, and demonstrate strategic maturity.

Josh learned how to work with his fearful boss, Sam. After an intentional conversation, Josh became a confident go-to person to work with Sam, and Sam appreciated Josh’s efforts. Several months later, the owner of the company called Josh: “I hear you’re doing amazing work. When you’re ready, I’d like to make you president of one of my companies.” All because Josh learned how to work with a boss who lacked good people skills.

Your ability to navigate fear — yours or someone else’s — determines your legacy.

Own Your Leadership First

Know why you’re in the role. Identify the skills, experience, or business goals that make staying worthwhile for now. Use your “brags” to build confidence and credibility for yourself and your team.

Have intentional conversations. Share accomplishments, learn your team’s individual goals, and listen more than talk. This is how you build trust and reduce your boss’s fear-based reactions.

Do the work. Conversations mean nothing without action. Make the company, team, and customers look good consistently. This means learning to work without expecting praise or applause from your boss.

Set aside your ego. Yes, you have an ego too. Find other ways to acknowledge your own successes, and offer sincere congrats to your team members. Your legacy expands when you consistently elevate your team, even when your boss cannot do the same.

Protect Your Legacy

Keep people apprised. Document progress, interactions, and decisions. This protects you and strengthens your brand. If appropriate, cc the boss’s boss or board members. Keep copies on a personal device and use for performance reviews, individually and as a team.

Don’t gossip. Gossip destroys your credibility when discussing a bad boss, and erodes your leadership brand. It also signals your own insecurity, which is the opposite of the legacy you wish to build.

Stay detached. Proving you’re right about a bad boss is a losing game. They are in the position for a reason, usually political. Detachment keeps you strategic and protects long-term opportunities.

Use Tools That Strengthen Your Leadership

Hire an executive coach. A coach provides objectivity, clarity, and a neutral sounding board so you don’t get pulled into (or stay in) fear-based dynamics.

Take a PXT Select®. A PXT Select Leadership assessment reveals your strengths, blind spots, and communication style and how you interact with others, especially your boss. Objective insights help you adjust, reduce friction, and stay effective regardless of others’ fears.

Note: Josh’s success came from having both: an executive coach and a PXT Select assessment.

Keep Your Options Open

Opportunities will arise to restructure, reassign, or upgrade your role in the company. Don’t jump too quickly. Use discernment to avoid repeating the same pattern of working for another insecure boss.

Self-Care Matters

Your body will tell you when you need time away due to the stress (yes, it’s there – even for Type As). Listen and honor it. Remember, ignoring stress will eventually lead to poor decisions, not trusting yourself, overlooking important details, and poor health.

Your Legacy Is Bigger Than Your Fear

When you work for a boss who fears congratulating you and your team, don’t let it define your future or your legacy. Your ability to stay strategic, courageous, and focused does, and so does your ability to work with this boss.

Moving forward in your career, you will run into others who exhibit the same limiting behaviors and attitudes. Steer clear, and when you cannot, learn how to work well with them. It is a huge leadership advantage for your career and future.

When you combine savvy decision making, moxie in how you show up, and the guts to keep going, you become the legacy leader your company is appreciates having (e.g., bonuses, perks, promotions).

Why We Get Stopped (And How to Finally Move Forward)

August 27, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

The core truth is simple and uncomfortable: we don’t get stopped because of our skills, talents, or interests. We get stopped because we fail to do the work. The difference between people who achieve meaningful results and those who wish they had is not brilliance, luck, or inspiration. It’s action … taking consistent, imperfect, forward‑moving action.

What Actually Stops Us

The Remy Effect. Outwardly we talk the talk; inwardly we fear taking the required actions. When fears of not being enough, not having enough, or being judged appear, remember: the fear shows up because you’re moving forward.
Waiting for permission. You don’t need permission to begin, proceed, or excel.
“I don’t have everything I need.” You won’t. Start anyway. In writing a book, characters and plots emerge after you begin. In business, clarity comes after the first step.
Shiny objects. New ideas, distractions, and “opportunities” will appear. If they don’t fit your intention, move on. They are major deterrents to completion.
Misleading expectations. The process rarely looks like you think it should, especially when you’re “almost there.” Even if you’ve done something similar before, internal and external changes happen. Be flexible without ditching or rewriting the goal and intention. Keep going.
Self-Worth. If you fear failure or making a mistake, you’re making it mean too much about you. Remember, there is value in learning what doesn’t work and how to keep moving forward.

Common Deterrents We Misinterpret as “Good Reasons”

Everyone has the same 24/7. It’s not time; it’s the choices we make.
Money reflects your history, environment, and beliefs. You’ve survived challenges before and you’re still here. Find a committed listener. Share your story twice, then stop. Don’t get stuck inside of it. Now, create the plan out loud, write it down, and immediately take one action step.
Life challenges occur. And, they will. When wanting to write a book, deal with a child on drugs, navigate career uncertainty, handle a difficult customer or team … none of these will resolve themselves without taking the right actions. Hire, and listen to, the right therapist, advisor, or expert. Create a plan. Follow it. Expect challenges and work through them one at a time.
The “Purpose Trap.” Many people believe they must find their “purpose” before acting. This is a trap. “Purpose” emerges from doing, not from comparing your journey to others’ successes.

Doing the Work: The Real Differentiator

People who succeed aren’t necessarily more talented. They simply do the work:

They stay in action. When stopped, they learn why and move forward.
They take small steps. One step at a time keeps momentum alive.
They practice self‑care. Your health and wellbeing are your wealth.
They keep moving even when the path feels messy or unclear. You’ve never been this way before—be adventurous and bold.
They value essential support: coach + team. Together, they create momentum you cannot generate alone.
Keeps you out of your own way, stops self‑sabotage, and helps you stay accountable.
Moves the project forward. If team members lack skills or willingness, let them go. Wrong team members stall progress more than any external obstacle.
Every pursuit requires:
A clear goal. A specific outcome you commit to achieving with purpose.
A daily intention. A focused priority guiding your choices and energy today.
Consistent movement. Small, steady actions that maintain momentum toward your goal.

Not perfection. Not certainty. Consistent movement.

The Hardest Truth

Life isn’t stopping you. You are stopping yourself.

When you rely on your inner emotional and mental voices, they whisper doubt, fear, comparison, or hesitation. These must be tamed:

Acknowledge the voice.
Reframe the message.
Move forward anyway.

This is how intuition becomes your guide, and feelings stop running the show.

An Example

A woman insisted on being in charge of everything, and her results were always so‑so because she never learned to work with and through others. This is exactly how many people get stopped: fear, uncertainty, shiny distractions, and rigid expectations prevent forward movement. Once she shifted her mindset, trusted collaboration, and stayed in action, her outcomes improved significantly … showing that life isn’t stopping you; you stop yourself when you don’t consistently move forward.

Takeaway

You don’t need more talent, more skill, or more inspiration.

You need to begin.
You need to continue.
You need to stay in action.
Create your goal and your intention.
Hire an executive coach and use tools like PXT Select® to stay objective and on track.
Select your team.
Now, take action.

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Are You Avoiding Kindness?

August 20, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

Real kindness requires backbone, not telling people what they want to hear (aka platitudes). In today’s workplace, kindness is required to be effective and to be a results‑producer.

A lack of kindness often comes at the expense of teamwork, accountability, quality, client care, and the bottom line.

Kindness used to mean helping people grow, telling the truth, and doing what’s right even when it’s hard.

But today, “kindness” has been reduced to being agreeable, avoiding discomfort, and keeping everyone happy. It’s a way of avoiding potential legal issues, addressing unreasonable demands, and preventing team or customer upsets. That’s not kindness. When leaders focus on being liked, keeping the customer or boss happy, and protecting the bottom line, this surface‑level civility (aka fake kindness) creates a legacy of being nice but makes the leader ineffective.

Where Has Kindness Gone Missing?

Truth telling. Leaders avoid honest feedback to “be kind,” leaving teams stuck, costs rising, and customers unhappy.
Accountability. Standards are softened to avoid hurt feelings, creating mediocrity.
Follow-through. Leaders promise support but fail to provide the resources and feedback required, negatively impacting the company and clients.
Kindness creates confusion when leaders tolerate conflicts, factions, and groupthink out of fear of being labeled a bad or mean boss.
Hard conversations are avoided due to lack of skill, fear of failure, or making the situation worse.
Kindness is applied selectively, creating confusion and resentment.
Offense‑seeking. Teams (and leaders) look for opportunities to feel offended, diminished, or discredited.
Decision‑making. Leaders delay or avoid making timely decisions to prevent upsetting someone, harming progress and trust.
Performance management. Avoiding tough conversations about poor performance hurts the individual, the team, and the customer.

The Blunt Truth About Kindness

Kindness isn’t soft or fuzzy. As a leader, it’s crucial to develop kindness with a backbone while guiding teams and customers through the inevitable difficulties, conflicts, and upsets.

Be Clear. Clarity is kindness. Provide the resources and truth required to get the job done. These conversations will take longer. The benefit? They allow the team to be innovative and surpass the intended results.
Be Direct. Directness with diplomacy prevents misunderstandings and raises standards. Keep the goal and intention in the forefront to move everyone forward.
Be Consistent. Consistency builds trust when you tell the truth early, directly, and respectfully. Remember you will need to repeat it many times during meetings and conversations.
Be Accountable. Accountability protects people and results through intended actions, not avoidance.
Be Courageous. Courage is the highest form of kindness for yourself and others. It guides teams and customers to do what they’ve been avoiding.
Be Compassionate. Chances are you’ve had a similar experience. Share a short story about how you handled a situation or relationship to support your own growth.
Be Generous. Appreciate each team member’s contribution. Encourage them to brag about their successes too.
Be Self‑Aware. Listen to the “tiny voice in your head” before saying something you’ll regret. Stop, breathe, and use silence when your critical voice is too loud.

A Leader’s Self‑Check

“Am I being kind or just agreeable?”
“Am I helping this person grow or keeping them comfortable?”
“Am I avoiding the truth and calling it kindness?”
“Am I protecting people through silence at the expense of the team or client?”
“Am I being authentic or just saying what is expected of me?”
“Are my expectations ego‑based?”
“Am I failing to hire the right people required to achieve needed results for customers?”
“Am I gaslighting someone because I failed to take responsibility?” (e.g., overscheduling, failing to keep promises, failing to listen, ignoring policies or systems)

Kindness isn’t about keeping people comfortable. It’s about guiding them to succeed. In today’s work world, kindness is required.

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy‑driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values‑based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

When Leaders Alienate Team Members, Poor Results, Poor Retention, and Declining Revenues Follow

August 10, 2026 by Jeannette Seibly

This is Part 2 of a 2-part article. This one focuses on the leader’s role in avoiding and overcoming team alienation, which negatively impacts results. Link to Part 1.

When teams are failing, many leaders will claim they “don’t have the right people” as a way to distract others from their own inability or unwillingness to lead effectively.

The problem? It becomes the root cause of alienation, groupthink, and team breakdown, and is often not the real issue. Failure to acknowledge responsibility avoids addressing the leader’s lack of coachability, awareness, and skills required to resolve conflicts and manage projects for clients and company growth.

What’s missing? Leadership accountability for results, believing in each person, and supporting the company, client, and team when issues arise. These issues are more likely to arise when the leader’s negative mindset is focused on lack, failure, and upset over team members’ upsets, attitudes, and lack of commitment to the goal.

The Leader’s Blind Spots:

Over‑reliance on a few insiders or select team members
Inability and failure to address conflict early
Assumption of “I don’t have the right people” and fail to hire for job fit
Failure to create structure for success, or created ineffective ones
Allow groupthink to fill the vacuum
Do not value team members’ contributions
Fear of making mistakes or experiencing failure
Inappropriate use of tools for decisions (e.g., critical thinking, job fit assessments, over-reliance on AI)
Play favorites, create silos and factions
Lack the skills to coach people effectively while managing the process
Poor facilitation skills
Are not accountable and responsible for the results

Your reputation is lost and the team’s performance and innovation decline too.

This is when groupthink, cliques, and those with shared frustrations take over. It’s time for leaders to leverage up and prevent the inevitable chaos.

What can you do before alienation occurs?

If you are experiencing team alienation, talk with an experienced executive coach immediately. Alienation will not resolve itself, and in the meantime, your career options become very limited.

Reset your expectations and mindset.

If you expect to fail, you usually will.
If you expect problems, they will occur.
If you wish for different people on the team, they will wish for a different leader!

Instead, work with your executive coach weekly (or more frequently) to ensure your mindset and focus is on the goal and the process of achieving the intended results.

Get the support required to rebuild trust. This will not happen overnight or after one group meeting. It requires taking responsibility ongoingly and valuing your people in every interaction. Integrity is key … if you are cutting corners, ignoring issues, or allowing conflict to erupt, you have alienated the team.

It starts with you creating conditions for success:

Create win-win-win narratives
Share stories of other successes
Address the facts rather than relying on AI, social media headlines, and other false narratives
Ensure each and every team member are acknowledged for their contributions

Reintroduce structure and accountability, or create it. Structure is key, even for those team members that love to create and recreate and recreate some more. Put together the “game plan” and follow it, while holding yourself and team members accountable. Allow for initiatives and innovative ideas, but stay focused on the intention and end goal. Use a dashboard or other means to keep everyone apprised of the progress.

Use objective tools and processes to focus on the project, goals, and intended results. When mistakes and failures happen, and they will, have an objective way in which to address them. Blaming a person or smaller group will only add to dissension, finger pointing, and alienation.

Address groupthink cycles as they occur to stop them from taking over. This can happen very subtly when a group of people have worked together in the past, have hit a “wall,” and are skeptical or fearful of doing anything different. Address and talk through the fears upfront and consistently.

Learn how to achieve alignment. It’s important to learn this skill to avoid the consensus trap of stalling and negating others’ opinions and expertise. This requires courage since many teams use consensus as a way to stop progress, keep traditions, and avoid moving out of their comfort zones. It’s not easy when you have a small group that believes they are right or are unable or unwilling to see the bigger picture.

Remember:

The leader’s belief and mindset become the team’s culture
Groupthink forms around a leader’s indecisiveness and exclusion of people and ideas
All people on the team are the “right people”
Leaders need to build alignment
Effective leaders have effective coaches