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Be Present When Listening

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“When you’re present during conversations, you become an influential leader because you heard what was being said.” Jeannette Seibly

If we want people to talk to us more, we should start by listening to them more. Simon Sinek

  • Would you like to achieve epic results?
  • Have working relationships with team members that develop them to be leaders?
  • Keep reading!

When we’re in meetings or conversations, and someone else is talking, we often allow ourselves to think of other things. The problem? We stop listening. We miss what the other person said. We also miss nuances that make a big difference in the person’s meaning, even if they didn’t say it.

In my recent article, Are Your Relationships Working?, I mentioned “Be Present” as a key to building relationships. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel a positive affinity when someone is unable or unwilling to listen to what I have to say. Also, as an excellent listener, I am always amazed by others who fail to hear due to bad habits or an unwillingness to be present.

So, what are the critical tips for “being present” during conversations? How does being present impact retention (aka relationships), revenues, and results? Keep reading!

5 Key Tips to Be Present When Listening

Be Focused. When entirely focused on the person speaking, what you learn and hear, and the solutions that can evolve are incredible. It’s true. Just listening and setting aside internal mental chatter makes the person feel valued and respected (aka retention).

Stop Multi-tasking. When listening, set aside your work, negative feelings, and other distractions (e.g., social media posts, gadgets, email notifications). That will allow you to hear the genuine concerns you will otherwise miss (think, customer and employee satisfaction).

Stay Mentally Focused. Instead of allowing yourself to think of rebuttals or allowing yourself to be triggered by what they’ve said, be present and listen. Yes, I understand; this is easier said than done. However, successful leaders learn not to be offended and address issues at the appropriate time.

Set Aside Answers. Too often, when we listen, we listen to develop a solution or answer the person … even when they don’t ask a question! Instead, be present and listen. Don’t offer ideas. Listen to just listen. Be a facilitator and guide the person to brainstorm, allowing them to develop their own answers.

Ask Questions. When you are present, you can ask questions that ensure you understand what is being said. Being present and listening will allow you to inquire into gaps in their thinking or contradictions. Use facts, not feelings, when asking questions (feelings are fleeting and usually don’t reflect the speaker’s words spoken at that moment).

©Jeannette Seibly 2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and business author. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. As a result, they can work through sticky situations and challenging relationships to become positive influencers. Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about being present when listening: It can be challenging to listen when someone is long-winded, or you have no interest in what s/he is saying. The problem? As a leader, not listening hurts your retention (aka relationships), revenues, and results. And being present and listening can make a big difference in what you hear. It allows you to reduce misinterpretations and hurt feelings. Contact me if you’re unclear about how to be present, especially when you don’t want to listen.

This week’s PODCAST: Listen to the Moments of Brilliance: You Don’t Have to Have the Answers! with my guest, Denise Roberts, on The Entrepreneurial Leader.

Stop Quiet Quitting and Create Solutions

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“Boredom results from not stretching beyond your current skills.” Jeannette Seibly

According to Fortune, 82% of GenZs and Millennials are quietly quitting. When I shared this shocking stat with a friend, she talked about a young family member ignored by her bosses! The GenZer would like to take on more challenging work and has often asked for more opportunities. But each time, she continues to be dismissed. So, she quietly quit her job.

As a member of any generation, you can be part of the problem or part of the solution, whether you’re the boss or employee. When employees of all ages feel bored, not challenged, or experience long-term job dissatisfaction, it creates quiet quitting! Remember, problems always have solutions. Left unaddressed, quiet quitting can sabotage your profitability and results too.

Bosses, remember, GenZs and Millennials are our future. Now is the time to train, develop, and coach them to create good work and results-producing skills … not discourage them further.

Two Points of View to Prevent Quiet Quitting

1. First, learn about career blind spots.

Boss: Create a strategic selection system to collect objective, valid, and reliable data for your hiring, job transfers, and promotions, and rehire decisions.

Employee: While you chose your profession for various reasons, you’re suffering because the job doesn’t fit you! Before you keep job hopping, discover your blind spots and focus on job fit. Talk with an executive coach. It’ll save you from career disillusionment and giving up on yourself or pursuing jobs that don’t fit you.

2. Do your homework.

Boss: Stop relying on the interview as your primary source during the hiring process. Using a strategic selection system will improve collecting objective, valid, and reliable data.

Employee: Before taking a job, conduct your due diligence by asking questions of the interviewers and your professional network. Talk about training, education reimbursement, and other opportunities available to grow that are important to you. Remember, you will have many career options during your lifetime … it’s your responsibility to build on these and not blame your employer for your lack of success.

3. Create Depth of Knowledge.

Boss: Many employees hate repetitive work or being micromanaged. Look for opportunities to allow them to make mistakes and learn.

Employee: Ask for opportunities to dig deeper into accounting, human resources, marketing, etc. Start with learning the basics (e.g., math, accounting, sales, hiring and assessment legalities). The knowledge and ability to use this information correctly can promote you further faster.

4. Create a Breadth of Awareness.

Boss: Provide new opportunities for upskilling, reskilling, and training and development as part of your team members’ career path.

Employee: Take an active role in interdepartmental teams addressing company-wide issues. Listen, ask questions, and learn. This helps you develop and use your knowledge and skills to positively impact the company and its clients.

5. Stay Current.

Boss: Provide weekly department meetings and monthly 1:1 sessions. Discuss what’s working, what’s missing, and the resources needed. Don’t forget to include coaching on taking initiative and being resourceful.

Employee: It’s easy to get bored. But actually, it’s easier to make an effort to learn more and expand your knowledge about your current job. It’s up to you to take the initiative!

6. Attend Professional Association and/or Trade Meetings.

Boss: Provide budget dollars and opportunities for employees to attend these events.

Employee: Don’t be shy. Get out there to meet and greet others. Ask and listen to current and future issues in the industry you work in … or wish to work in.

7. Stop Hoping for Job Satisfaction and Create It.

Boss: It’s up to you to provide appropriate initiatives or challenges for each employee to enhance their job satisfaction.

Employee: Hope is not a strategy. Grab your “Brag” book and complete the 5 easy steps. Now, share your brags with your boss and create action steps for what’s next in developing your career path. Yes, you need to take an active part! PS: Use your brags during Performance Appraisals and work reviews too.

8. Keep Learning!

Boss: Provide budget dollars for ongoing training and development. Include online and onsite workshops. Remember, you’re creating the next generation of leaders!

Employee: Your brain loves to learn. Even if you have a degree or trade certification, take advantage of company training and workshops. Primarily focus on skills required for career growth:  emotional intelligence, communication, project management, and leadership. (Yes, even before you need them.) Don’t forget critical, often overlooked education: financial planning, money management, technical certificates (for non-technical people), etc.

9. Hire a Coach!

Boss and Employee: Find the money. Hire the coach. Remember, successful people of all ages have coaches.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about how to create solutions for quiet quitters: The challenge is that all employees need to take the initiative to develop their technical and other skills to have job satisfaction. As the boss, it’s your responsibility to get into action to guide the development of these needed skills. Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Quiet quitters often have unrecognized blind spots that get in the way of job satisfaction. It’s essential for you to uncover them now, before you quit or are transferred or promoted to new positions (remember the Confucius quote: “Where ever you go, go with all your heart.”):  https://bit.ly/BeEffectiveLeader

Learn How to Spot Toxic Future Employees During Job Interviews

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“Toxic employees diminish trust while sabotaging the company, customers, and team.” Jeannette Seibly

A leader recently asked me, “How do you spot a narcissist during a job interview?” He’d just fired one. I shared that they and other types of toxic employees can be challenging to spot. “It’s why using a structured interview approach, and a qualified assessment tool are important to help you spot them.” My recommendations are shared in this article.

Learning how to spot toxic future employees before hiring them can be tricky. However, it becomes easier when you use a well-defined strategic selection system and interview process. The challenge is, listening and not explaining away apparent signs.

“Toxic employees create discord, crush morale and reduce coworkers’ productivity.” (Insperity)

Many toxic workers have the skills to do the job. But due to “you owe me” attitudes, poor emotional intelligence, and not being coachable, they create unhealthy work environments. As a result, they diminish trust while sabotaging others’ work and the company’s growth.

Tips to Conduct Interviews to Uncover the Truth  

Listen and Be Present! You are more likely to spot toxic behaviors and attitudes if you do.

  • They change their story or lie about the facts
  • They answer your questions with questions
  • They are evasive in their answers
  • They tell you what you want to hear and blame others
  • They are always right
  • They make snarky or inappropriate comments

These job seekers may have the job skills but rarely fit into a healthy workplace.

Use a Structured Interview Focused on Job Skills. Their responses reveal their actual ability and interest in doing the work. Use the Rule of 3 to deep dive to understand their responses. Avoid asking about favorite colors, books read, or music they enjoy! Their responses can be misleading and cover up their genuine willingness to do the job.

Ask Interview Questions That Invite Negativity. Allow candidates to share experiences they’ve been coached not to talk about. But don’t ask more than two of these types of questions to prevent true top talent from ghosting you!

Two great questions:

  • “Tell me about a conflict you had with your boss or coworker.”
  • “What did you do when you received feedback you didn’t like from your boss or team?”

Listen for: blaming others, being unable to admit mistakes, or how people “should be.” Or conversely, “I always get along with everyone.” These are red flags!

Use a Qualified Job Fit Assessment. These tools have behaviorally based interview questions to help you uncover a person’s fit with the job. While they are not designed to state if a person is “toxic or not,” the questions help you learn more about the essential qualities the person will bring to the job.

I recently talked with a job candidate for a manager position. The person had an answer for everything and frequently spoke about enjoying conflict and debates with others. While these traits can be great in negotiations, most employees will revolt working for this type of boss.

Don’t Rely on Only One Interview. Many toxic people love to gossip or have other problematic attitudes they can turn on and off. Conduct several well-structured interviews instead of relying on your intuition or gut. During the process, you’ll learn more about the person’s true beliefs, work ethic, and ability to work with and through others to achieve intended results. Use a well-designed strategic selection system and follow it; most toxic future employees are less likely to stick around.

Don’t Dismiss Warning Signs. People’s choice of words conveys their thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Many poor job performers use negative words when talking about coworkers and bosses. They speak as the victim, are judgmental, and cannot empathize. They talk in absolutes: always and never. Don’t overlook their choice of words or explain them away.

Remember, toxic employees cost you time, money, and sleepless nights. A well-designed strategic selection system is a powerful tool to help you avoid hiring them.

Source for this article: Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about how to spot toxic future employees during job interviews: The challenge is that they often have the skills to do the job. But due to poor attitudes, being self-centered, and not being coachable, they can create unhealthy work environments. Need help upgrading your hiring practices? Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Leaders need to influence others to be successful. But many times, their blind spots speak too loudly and get in the way. For actual professional growth, use objective data to discover your blind spots now, before it’s too late:  https://bit.ly/BeEffectiveLeader

How to Use Failure to Grow Your Success and Opportunities

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“Failure can lead to new successes and opportunities … are you ready?” Jeannette Seibly

Many leaders and bosses fear failure. Why? They want to look good in the eyes of their team, boss, and customers and be well-liked. The problem is that when leaders fear failure, they can become locked in a myopic point-of-view of what can be accomplished and how it should be done. This limits their successes and opportunities. Another result of being fearful is that team members and customers leave.

How to Attract New Career Success and Opportunities

Rock the Boat. Rocking the boat doesn’t mean someone or something has to go overboard! Instead, it means stretching outside your everyday thinking and including your team during this process. It strengthens everyone’s ability to brainstorm, use critical thinking, and disrupt the common limitations that hurt results. The key is to rock the boat without negatively impacting others.

When You Make a Mistake, Own it. What did you learn? Use “What Worked? / What Didn’t Work?”  individually and with the team to develop clarity. Then, share with your boss and customer.

Apologize. This reduces defensiveness when a mistake has been made. Remember, you must address the “elephant in the room” before you can have a straight conversation and make a positive difference. For example, “I’m sorry this project went over budget. Here are the facts about why it happened and what I/we learned.”

Be Proactive, Not Reactive. Mistakes and failures are often avoidable when you are “present” in conversations. Learn to listen with an open mind. Then, ask questions for clarification about the impact new ideas could have on systems, people, and the bottom line. Be a guide for your team to be resourceful, resilient, and flexible when addressing change.

Hire the Right Team. You cannot achieve success alone. Let me repeat that you cannot achieve success alone. And hiring the wrong person for your team is the fastest way to fail! So instead, hire the right team the first time by using a qualified job fit assessment as 1/3 of your selection process. Included will be a coaching guide to develop your team and you and show you how to improve results now and in the future.

Uncover Your Blind Spots. Every leader and team has them. Your ability to recognize and work through them makes the difference between success, so-so results, or failure. Use a qualified job fit assessment and executive coach to move forward faster and with clarity.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about using failure to grow your career success and opportunities: Many leaders and bosses fear failure. They want to look good and be well-liked. The problem is that they become locked in a myopic point-of-view of what can be accomplished and how it should be done. This fear hurts career growth and opportunities for new projects. Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Leaders need to stretch themselves beyond their perceived limitations for professional growth. It starts with distinguishing your blind spots: https://bit.ly/BeEffectiveLeader

When Coaching Is Required to Keep Your Job

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“Smart leaders and bosses hire the right coach before losing top talent and customers.” Jeannette Seibly

As a leader (boss, manager, individual contributor), have you:

  • Had a meltdown when situations didn’t go your way?
  • Used microaggressions to get others’ attention when not feeling heard?
  • Refused to listen to ideas and solutions you didn’t want to hear?
  • Had a tantrum when you lost a client, or the results were less than stellar?
  • Arrived at meetings late and disrupted the discussion with your own agenda?
  • Yelled at your boss when frustrated?

If you answered “yes” to even one of these questions, it’s time to get real and hire a coach to keep your job! Whether you know it or not, your career is now on a limited timetable, and you cannot succeed alone without the right help.

Improve Your Leadership Through a Variety of Coaching Opportunities

Hire the Right Coach. Start by hiring the right executive coach. Not all coaches are created equal or can turn leaders or bosses around. The right coach will guide you through difficult situations and sticky (often political) relationships to achieve your plan and goals while being a resource.

Discover Your Blind Spots and Ensure Job Fit. An essential part of your development and plan is to use qualified assessments that provide true clarity. Use a qualified job fit assessment for an objective leadership report. Also, include a 360-degree feedback assessment. Beware! Don’t get duped by the cheap assessments. These are notorious for not providing objective and valid data. Now, work with your executive coach to create your plan and goals. Remember, implement only one change at a time.

Emotional Intelligence Development. Another vital part of your plan is participating in workshops and programs designed to help you learn how to work with and through others to achieve intended results … including improving your communication skills. Also, consider talking with a therapist to uncover unresolved concerns or issues from your past.

Select an Industry Mentor. Whether or not it’s part of your plan, find an industry mentor. The right one expands your awareness of what is required in business today. Value these meetings by showing up on time, being ready to listen, and learning. But remember … industry mentors are not coaches! So, don’t ditch the coach! Instead, talk with your coach about insights and build them into your long-term plan. (Yes, plan to work with your coach for at least six months to ensure your changes are working!)

Let Go of Emotional Attachments. Last but not least, set aside your ego during the process and be open to making meaningful changes. This can be difficult. But consider the alternative (e.g., being fired, having a lousy reputation, unemployable). For example, if you’re a bad boss, ask your company to make you an individual contributor while maintaining the same pay and perks you had as a boss. If your company is unwilling to do so, find a forward-thinking company that does.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about getting real and hiring a coach to keep your job when you’ve gone off-track: when your employees or customers are leaving or complaining, it’s time for you as the boss or leader to listen and hire an executive coach, pronto! Many times, your behaviors and attitudes will improve with the right guidance. But don’t wait until it is too late! Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Hiring the wrong person for an executive or critical position jeopardizes your company. However, this can be preventable when using a strategic selection system. Get essential hiring and selection tips by grabbing the Amazon International Best-Selling Book,  “Hire Amazing Employees!”

How Do You Use Interview Time Effectively?

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“If you continue asking irrelevant job interview questions, you’ll continue to lose talent, customers, and money.” Jeannette Seibly

Many hiring managers believe relying on their instincts, and intuition/gut saves time and gives them all they need to make good hiring decisions. They think they’ll know the right candidate when they meet them.

Unfortunately, there are many problems with this belief. It creates:

  • Unconscious bias
  • Ghosting by job candidates and new hires
  • Turnover of talent, loss of customers, and litigation (think money and reputation)
  • Removal of a bad hire which can take up to 18 months (think again money and reputation)
  • Bad company reputation when making decisions without factual data … (Remember, this job candidate could become a future customer or decision-maker for a sales contract or award.)

Be Clear! Your Goals During the Interview Are to Determine:

  • Can the job candidate do the job?
  • Will the job candidate do the job?
  • Can the job candidate do the job in this company?

When you answer the above three questions in writing, you get real about the actual competencies required. Remember, business is changing, and so have business requirements.

  • What actual competencies are required?
  • What does the right candidate need to accomplish in 30-60-90-180 days?
  • What job fit assessment is best to see the “whole person?”

Example, if you’re seeking a salesperson, does s/he need to generate leads, close, and provide good ongoing customer care?

Preparation is Critical for Effective Interviews  

  • Ask job-related questions (not about the latest book read, hobbies outside work, etc.)
  • Create a structured interview with job-related questions

Review interview questions to ensure they do not create unconscious bias. Too often, we ask about recent books read, movies seen, and hobbies. These can get you in legal trouble. Why? You are inferring characteristics from their responses without factual data.

As you already know, stay away from questions about a candidate’s lifestyle, childcare, age, race, religion, etc.

Example, a hiring manager asked a candidate about the most recent book he’d read. He said, “Jaws.” She refused to talk with him further inferring he was an angry person. (Yes, this actually happened.)

Four Tips to Improve Your Interview and Selection Results

Note: Interviews should be only one-third of a well-designed strategic selection process. The other key parts include assessments (1/3) and due diligence (1/3). (Hire Amazing Employees)

1. Listen to their responses. Hear what they are saying. Don’t fill in the blanks with what you want to hear. Instead, ask questions for clarification before moving on to the next question.

2.Use Rule of 3 to determine the depth and breadth of job experience and skills.

An example of using the Rule of 3 to hire a project manager:

1) How do you handle team conflict? Can you give me an example?

2) What were the results?

3) If I talked with the team, how would they describe your leadership skills?

3. Ask about their coachability, how they handle mistakes, and flexibility with new assignments. Many will respond, “no problem.” Again, use the Rule of 3 to deep dive. You’ll hear their genuine willingness or unwillingness to answer these questions. Their core behaviors seldom change regardless of what they say.

4. Ask for examples. When asking job-related questions, always ask for examples. Example: Tell me about your working relationships with previous work teams, bosses, and customers.

Many years ago, I conducted a final interview with an experienced general manager for a business owner. I learned by asking for examples that each time she talked about her past three jobs, she expressed her upset with the business owners’ demanding ways. When I asked if she was aware of her upsets, she answered me honestly, “no.” I then shared that working with this business owner would be no different … he was very demanding too.   

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about using your interview time effectively: Many hiring managers rely too much on their intuition or gut, which leads to disastrous results: top talent and great customers leave, and the company’s bottom line looks grim. This week’s article covers the basics of conducting effective interviews. When done right, it saves time, money, and sleepless nights. Have questions? Most do! Let’s chat now!

Are you asking good, job-related interview questions? When hiring new employees or rehiring former ones, ask about their ability to handle mistakes. Why? 90% of new hires fail because they dismiss coaching or advice about how to improve. Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results! and suggested interview questions to get you started.

How to Remove Elephants by Resolving Difficult Issues or Situations

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“When you ignore the elephant in the room, you sabotage your team and their ability to produce great results.” Jeannette Seibly

When elephants are in the room, it means an obvious issue or situation is being avoided or ignored. While you may rely on the excuse, “if you ignore them, they’ll go away,” these elephants have a sneaky way of sticking around and sabotaging results — regardless of your feelings about their importance.

Team members quietly quit when unspoken issues or difficult situations are not vocalized and resolved. Usually, their reluctance to speak up is due to fears of personal or professional reprisals if they rock the boat. Or, the fear is due to not having the confidence, communication skills, or self-esteem to stay in the conversation when others don’t agree with them.

As the leader, it’s up to you to make the conversations safe and respectful and be committed to opening up the conversation to expose difficult issues or situations.  

Ironically, talking about these elephants clears the air, energizes the team, and produces unprecedented results. However, achieving these results requires straight talk and a willingness to stay focused on removing the elephant when it doesn’t want to readily lumber away!

How to Resolve Five Common Types of Elephants

When resistance is due to:

Overwhelm. Keep the conversation simple when the issue seems impossible or too big to handle. Use open-ended questions: “What is your experience with the new A/P system?” Allow others the opportunity to voice concerns without fear. Once everyone has had a chance to talk, brainstorm possible solutions. Now, create a focused action plan and speak directly with the person(s) that have the power to resolve it. Remember to stay focused on the solution, not personalities.

Egos. These can be the most difficult elephants to mitigate since egos involve executives’ sense of self-esteem and self-importance. Offer ideas in small pieces and let them choose which one to use since s/he ignores brainstorming. Then, give them credit when the idea succeeds, and offer one or two suggestions if it fails. Remember, the goal is to remove the negative impact on you and your team. As you gain the executives’ trust, you can have more effect.

Entrenchment. We’ve all heard the expression, “It’s the way we’ve always done it.” When team members offer ideas to resolve concerns, it’s essential to listen and learn and not take them personally. Set aside your ego as the leader, use critical thinking so that change isn’t for the sake of change, and manage the process to include everyone.

Bad Acts. If there is a claim of harassment or microaggression, or allegation of theft, it’s imperative to act responsibly now. Have a private conversation with your boss and human resources to determine how to proceed. This may mean letting a well-liked team member or coworker go. Remember, this elephant is negatively impacting others. And these observers are watching how you’ll handle the situation and are adjusting their work performance accordingly. Note: If you ignore this one, you’ll lose credibility, your team, clients, and your business.

Failure to Commit and Act. There are times when elephants have been addressed, but there is no change. Or the leader has agreed but fails to remove the elephant due to political reasons or is second-guessing their agreement. (Examples include continuing old hiring practices and resisting a needed strategic hiring system or asking a major financial contributor to stop smoking in a no-smoking office.) Get this resolved asap. Ask for help by talking with your executive coach for objective counsel. Stop hoping the elephant will eventually go away. Hope is not a strategy; elephants tend to stay too long when you avoid following through for win-win-win outcomes.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2011-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about removing elephants and creating win-win-win outcomes: Is an elephant residing on your team? With your client? Or, in your company? The longer you wait to resolve difficult issues or situations, the more entrenched these elephants become. In the meantime, you lose essential ideas and solutions along with team members and clients. Have questions about how to identify “elephants” and resolve them? Most do! Let’s chat now!

When employees “quietly quit,” it is often due to you quickly hiring on instinct and then slowly firing for poor job skills. It’s time to develop a strategic selection system to improve how and whom you hire! Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

Are Your Team Members Quietly Quitting?

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“When team members don’t feel heard or valued, they quietly quit. It’s up to you as the leader to notice and reengage them!” Jeannette Seibly

Contrary to popular awareness, quiet quitting is not new. It used to be called employee disengagement. Before that, many called quiet quitters difficult people to work with! And still do.  Jeannette Seibly

Quietly quitting can be viewed from several different points of view: bosses and leaders vs. entrepreneurs and gig workers vs. employees and team members.

As a boss/leader, when you are unaware, in denial, or unwilling to transform a ‘quiet quitter’ into a productive team member, they multiply. As a result, your company suffers, and your customers leave. This article focuses on reengaging quiet quitters and transforming how you manage for intended results.

Team members that are ‘quietly quitting’ are not outright quitting their jobs. They’ll still perform basic job duties but are unwilling to go above and beyond. They refuse to glorify workaholic behavior like Boomers and Gen Xers used to succeed in their careers. These team members get enough done to avoid being fired, refuse overtime, and stop responding to emails and texts outside work hours.

This attitude of quietly quitting comes across in team members’ words and actions, causing customers to leave and leaders perplexed about what to do to change it.

Why Does This Covert Method of Quietly Quitting Fail to Work?

Failing to have straight and respectful conversations always fails to produce the intended results and create the innovative changes needed to grow your team, company, and customers!

The bottom line is that change requires two-way communication:

  • Allowing team members to speak up respectfully so they feel heard and,
  • You listening and transforming traditional work style behaviors and expectations.

Other perspectives to consider:

Employees/team members: Quietly quitting is not the answer when you are dissatisfied, stressed, or unclear about managing new work and family life challenges. It’s time to step up and speak up in a respectful manner that gets results. A covert power struggle will have customers leave, and your employer closes its doors.

Entrepreneurs/gig workers: Being a business owner requires a business mindset. What are you unwilling to ask for if you don’t feel fairly compensated? Talk with a coach for clarity. Expecting companies to pay more than your contract specifies isn’t realistic. And, quietly quitting is a very poor business tactic.

As the Boss and Leader, It’s Up to You!

Learn to Truly Listen. Team members check out when you fail to be present in meetings or conversations! Apologize and stop letting your mind wander! You’ll be amazed by how the simple act of genuinely listening can make a huge difference in someone feeling valued. When team members feel valued and respected, they’ll reengage.

Talk with Team Members 1:1 and as a Group. Learn about the person and what they need.

Questions to ask:

  • “Tell me about your work.”
  • “What do you like?”
  • “What don’t you like about it?” Or, “What is your #1 challenge?”
  • “What can we do to solve it?”

Have straight conversations and “come down to reality” conversations about changes you can make and those you cannot. (Remember, changing job duties to accommodate someone’s unhappiness won’t make them happier if they are in the wrong job!)

Transform Your Mindset. It’s a New Normal. COVID, economic, and societal disruptions have changed everyone’s mindset about work. Be open to making needed changes to ensure team members work in jobs they enjoy, are fairly compensated, and have time to pursue family/personal life goals. Remember, it’s important to meet customer needs and team members’ needs too.

Set Realistic and Attainable Goals. With only 10% of teams achieving their intended results, as a leader, you need to step up your game and learn how to set goals and manage the process. The place to start is to hold team members accountable and provide them with the tools and resources required to achieve the intended results. Team members are reengaged when winning individually and as a team.

Job fit is the #1 reason people succeed at work! Harvard Business Review

Use a Qualified Job Fit Assessment for Hiring and Job Restructuring. Many team members and their bosses/leaders are in jobs that don’t fit them. As a result, they are bored or overwhelmed and lack the skills and willingness to develop skills they’re not interested in learning. Use a qualified job fit assessment that provides valid and reliable data to guide restructuring job duties and creating clear career paths for transfers, promotions, and pay increases. Be sure to get their feedback before making any changes! Or, they will either quietly quit (again) or leave the company. (Hint: Adding more tasks to the current job responsibilities is not restructuring a job!) (Hint #2: Don’t make (or imply) promises for pay increases and promotions you cannot fulfill.)

Don’t forget to grab, Hire Amazing Employees and create a strategic selection system for job fit when hiring, rehiring, transferring, or promoting employees. It will reduce the number of quiet quitters and reengage team members in their jobs.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about “quiet quitters”: When you are unaware, in denial, or unwilling to transform a ‘quiet quitter’ into a productive team member, they multiply. Your company suffers, and your customers leave. Have questions about how to identify this issue and turn it around? Most do! Let’s chat now!

Why are employees “quietly quitting?” One of the critical issues is poor job fit for employees! And poor job fit for their bosses who got promoted without the skills to be leaders. It’s time to develop a strategic selection system to improve your hiring results! Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

 

Many Hiring Failures Are Due to Being Uncoachable

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Why are so many new hires failing in their jobs? The #1 reason? They are not coachable!” Jeannette Seibly

Poor interpersonal skills are why there are so many hiring failures today!

The #1 reason? They are uncoachable.

Here are shocking stats:

  • Almost 90% of the time, it’s due to the new hires’ attitudes and poor interpersonal skills.
  • Only 11% of failures are due to technical skills.
  • Almost half of new employees today will fail within 18 months of hire. (Leadership IQ)

Why is being coachable important? It reflects the ability to accept and put in place feedback from bosses, team members, customers, and others! (Leadership IQ) Being coachable is why leaders and teams succeed in business!

Many hiring managers admit overlooking or explaining away flaws they saw during interviews. But they were unsure what to do with these insights or biases. Moreover, they lacked objective data from qualified job fit assessments that would provide the boss critical on how to coach these new hires for success.  (See Chapter 9, Using Qualified Assessments and Skill Testing in the newly released: Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!)

So, they default to selecting job candidates based on technical and other hard skills. But, then, these new hires are fired due to poor interpersonal skills! So, it’s time to improve your selection system and use your interview time effectively.

How to Hire Coachable Employees

  1. Job Fit Is #1. According to a Harvard Business Review study, job fit is why people succeed! Use a qualified job fit assessment to ensure you’re seeing the whole person objectively. When using real and consistent data, you can delve deeper and learn more about the person before hiring them! This avoids surprises!
  2. Ask These Two Very Important Interview Questions. A coachable person is looking to improve and is willing to ask for help.

Ask: “When was the last time you made a mistake?” and “How did you handle it?”

Then, listen for:

  • “What did s/he learn?”
  • “Who did s/he talk with?”
  • “Why did the mistake happen?”
  • “What were the results?”

This is perhaps the most critical and revealing part of the interview.

  1. Gain Additional Insight During Reference Checks with Previous Co-Workers. Ask this question: “Would you work for this person? Why?” Listen. I’ve found this question to be a good indicator of a person’s on-the-job interpersonal skills.
  2. Focus on Results Required for the Position. Put together a 180-Day Success Plan. Share it during the final interviews with the job candidate and listen. The person’s reactions may change over time, so it’s essential to address any change of attitude asap. Remember, you’re not hiring lone rangers that want to do it their way! You need team players with the attitude of, “I’m open to learning from my mistakes and contributing to the success of everyone.”

©Jeannette Seibly 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about how to hire coachable employees: One of the top reasons new hires fail is being uncoachable! During the hiring process, ask the job candidates about mistakes they’ve made and how they were handled. Want to improve your hiring success rate? Grab your copy of the newly published book, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results! Have questions? Most do! Let’s chat now!

Did you know your interview questions are costing you top candidates? How do you ask job-related questions? What are useless interview questions? Why should you only use the interview as 1/3 of the hiring decision? Get your answers, suggested interview questions, and so much more! Grab your copy of the newly released Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

Hiring Practices Are Why Employees Are Leaving!

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“Instinctual or intuitive hiring is a major factor in the mass exodus of employees leaving to find better bosses and work they enjoy!” Jeannette Seibly

People keep quitting at record levels, yet companies are still trying to attract and retain them the same old ways. (McKinsey Quarterly)

It isn’t easy today to compete and keep talent. As a result, many potential job seekers are moving between jobs and industries, retiring early, or becoming entrepreneurs. Some leave without a plan because their co-workers left. And, competitors and other employers are openly poaching your best people.

Why is this happening?

One of the biggest challenges for most hiring bosses is their use of instinctual or intuitive hiring practices. This old practice puts new hires or promoted employees into positions that don’t fit their interests or core behaviors. So, while they may readily accept the job offer, they may not have the true interests or willingness to do the job. Or take the position for more money and the job title to help them get the next one. And, today, more than ever, some employees work a few weeks or months to get the money needed to pay for necessities, then leave. Many times, without even saying “Goodbye.”

What Can You Do?

First, accept that the job climate has changed and is continuing to change. Employees want to enjoy their work, and money won’t buy loyalty.

Second, do a much better job hiring, training, and coaching your employees.

Third, realize that your unconscious biases often get in the way of hiring the right people (e.g., ageism, fear of diversity, and other leadership blind spots).

8 Keys to Hire and Retain Top Talent

  1. Use the strategic selection system outlined in Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results! The system will reduce the “intuitive” selections that often fail. Also, as a boss, ensure the success of new hires, rehires, transitioning contract or gig workers to full- or part-time hires, and job transfers and promotions.
  2. Use a qualified job fit assessment. Job fit is #1. It helps employees, bosses, and employers keep and attract top talent and customers! Stop using assessments that “feel good” but don’t meet the Department of Labor guidelines for pre-employment hiring and selection. (See Chapter 9, “Use the Right Assessments and Skill Tests” in Hire Amazing Employees.)
  3. Develop a strong employee orientation and onboarding program. Employees want to know they matter. In addition, use a 180-Day Success Plan to guide new hires or employees in new positions through the first six months. (See Chapter 6, in Hire Amazing Employees.)
  4. Promote people that can and will manage with care. Many studies have shown that bad bosses are one of the top reasons employees leave. Too often, we promote the top salesperson or best-liked person and forget to conduct “reference checks” of internal employees and their experiences with the people we promote. Not everyone can be a good manager, nor has the skills and interest to develop them. Create separate job paths so all employees can excel.
  5. Provide training opportunities for all employees to support their individual career paths. Include soft skills, financial and technical skills, diversity management, etc. Examples include: Money management for those wanting to buy a home or start a business. Supervisory skills for those with an interest in managing others. Project management for those wishing to become team leaders.
  6. Offer remote and hybrid work opportunities. To help employees balance work and life, provide options that fit their needs. Remember, not everyone will do well working remotely. So, be sure that you (and they) are clear of the requirements to be successful by using the strategic selection system to ensure it. (See examples shared in Chapter 18, Hire Amazing Employees.)
  7. Consider a broader array of benefit options. Providing a smorgasbord of benefit options keeps top talent. Examples: GenZ employees might select education benefits v. increased life insurance options. Parents might opt for housecleaning services v. degreed education benefits. Older employees might enjoy job sharing or part-time work v. full-time employment.
  8. Encourage self-care. More and more employees today no longer value work over health. Provide classes, executive coaching, telemedicine for kids or pets, and perks (gift cards for massages) that are meaningful to the employee.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about why your hiring practices encourage employees to leave: Even though The Great Attrition and Great Resignation occurred in 2021 for millions of employees … many employees are still leaving in 2022! Often, it’s due to employers’ intuitive or instinctual hiring practices! Using a well-designed strategic selection system will improve your retention, revenues, and results! Do you need guidance updating your strategic selection system? Let’s chat now!

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Are you making the most out of your hiring budget? Creating a sustainable system will improve your results and your bottom line. Grab your copy of Hire Amazing Employees (Revised Edition): How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!