How to Get Comfortable Seeking the Right Advice

It can be lonely as a leader. When there is a challenge or the need to ask for advice, you may be unclear about who to talk with and who can provide you the right advice.

Here’s a simplified example. I’m sure many of you have read through social media postings where people are asking for advice or referrals. You may have posted your own “asks.” The problem is you receive an abundance of advice and go into overwhelm. Then, become stuck and don’t know how to proceed.

Sound familiar? Of course, most of us have experienced this in all areas of our lives. It can be very uncomfortable.

8 Tips for Getting the Right Advice Now

  • Be Open. Stay away from “yes” people telling you what you want to hear! Remember, too many ideas will have you undecided on what to do next. Instead, limit your “ask” to three key people: mentors, coach, and/or trusted advisors. If they provide recommendations for experts, limit these to three people.
  • Get Specific. Be clear about the advice you need by being specific about the issue and what you need to happen. For example: If you need to resolve a team dispute, include the key factors that must be considered, like team member satisfaction, team communication, and customer deadlines. 
  • Use the Rule of Three. Whenever you are making a big purchase or getting help with a problem, seek out only three proposals or bids. Provide the vendor/consultant with the specific goal and intended outcomes. Then, review these opportunities using your checklist to make your decision.
  • Seek out trusted advisors and mentors. Keep your network up-to-date. As a leader, you never know who you will need to talk with until after the issue has occurred or is about to happen. Remember, when they recommend an expert ask “why” this person would be a great source of information.
  • Deep dive and ask the right expert for factual information. Too often, we listen to what we want to believe, instead of what is factual. For example, there are over 3,000 publishers of assessments tools on the market today for pre-employment use. However, very few assessments meet the DOL Standards for Testing and Assessment: An Employer’s Guide to Good Practices. Check out PXT Select for your hiring, coaching, training, and managing needs.
  • Hire the right coach. Yes, this can be difficult if you’re not clear what you want or need. Remember, successful leaders have executive coaches. Your coach should be the first person to talk with before seeking out other advice. It’s also the most comfortable place to start.
  • Ask the right people. If you have a legal question, ask the right attorney. If you have a people management issue, ask a people management consultant. Don’t ask lots of people who have no actual hands-on experience or success on resolving the issue. Ask the people who know.
  • Listen! This will be especially difficult when someone’s point of view doesn’t match your own or triggers an emotional response (e.g., cost, process, looking good, etc.). Put aside your filter and listen…you will learn and receive new advice that can make a big difference!

You’re not the first leader, nor the last one, to have the same or similar challenges. It’s really about learning who the right advisors are, receiving the right advice, rather than receiving an abundance of opinions. Be vulnerable and professional when sharing information about you and your company will become comfortable over time. Remember to honor confidentiality, while being respectful of their time.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. Her expertise is guiding leaders to get unstuck and achieve unprecedented results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Don’t forget to listen to On the Air with Jeannette Seibly: It’s Your Time for Success on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

How You Can Help Your Team Be Their Best

As a leader, it’s your responsibility to guide your teams and team members to be their best. This includes taking responsibility for their failures as well as their successes.

6 Tips to Develop the Best

  1. Believe in Them. This is #1. If you don’t believe in people, you won’t be the best leader and will fail to develop the best team members. It’s important to believe in each and every person and help them develop their strengths. Use a qualified assessment to coach them and develop the right skills for their success. The right assessment will guide all of you on how to do it.
  2. Hire Right the First Time. The right people in the right jobs is the least costly and the most beneficial to the health of the team. Design and develop a strategic hiring/selection plan and follow it!. Pay attention to the results of the qualified assessments you use. Your team members will thank you!
  3. Create a 180-Day Success Plan. This should be part of thhttps://www.pxtselect.com/SeibCo on-boarding process. Also, conduct effective performance reviews quarterly withttps://www.pxtselect.com/SeibCoh no surprises. Focus on the skills and opportunities needed for each team member to be their best.
  4. Keep an Open-Door. It’s important to hear about issues as they are occurring instead of after the fact. This allow you to advise and guide your teams and team members to resolve conflicts, stay in action, and develop confidence.
  5. Provide an Executive Coach. This is for you and for your team members. Studies have shown that the right coach develops you and your team members to achieve unprecedented results.
  6. Encourage Training and Development. Budget for team training plus allow a specific dollar amount for each employee to use as appropriate. In addition to developing technical, financial, and project management skills, don’t forget to include integrity, accountability, responsibility, decision-making, and critical thinking ALL of these skills will develop a competent and confident team!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for more than 27 years. Her expertise is guiding leaders to get unstuck and achieve unprecedented results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Don’t forget to listen to On the Air with Jeannette Seibly: It’s Your Time for Success on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

How to Put Others at Ease During Conversations

As leaders, it’s important to learn how to put others at ease during conversations. Mastering this skill opens up a world of possibilities! With conversations, you will learn about potential project flaws, how to motivate team members, and how to improve your influence with bosses and clients. And, these are only a few of the benefits!

Are you someone who:

  • Can comfortably talk with all types of people: team members, boards, executives, and influencers?
  • Marvels at others’ ease when conversing with anyone, anywhere, and at any time?
  • Enjoys talking with others and have a desire to listen and learn?

Developing excellent conversation skills will make you a better communicator. If you’re willing to do the work, you can learn how to interact, motivate, and influence others with ease as a leader.

9 Tips to Fine-Tune Your Conversation Skills

  1. Be Present. Set aside all distractions before starting any conversation. When talking or listening, keep your focus on the other person. Think of them as a VIP, regardless of their title or position in the company. Whenever possible, move from behind your desk and sit in a chair close-by. When working remotely, keep your eyes on the screen. Start to notice how present you are or are not during conversations.
  2. Unleash Your Natural Curiosity. This is important when interacting with others. Instead of taking a righteous position, keep your mind open to hearing what others have to say, and create new solutions together.
  3. Allow Others to Communicate in Their Own Way. Expecting others to communicate with you in a particular way can be off-putting. You will miss out on hearing important information. Instead, allow them to communicate in a way that works for them. (To quickly understand their communication style, use the PXT Select.) Develop a thicker skin if you are easily offended. Learn how to ask questions to elicit the best from others instead of debating their POV.
  4. Have Compassion for Others’ Challenges. Be open to listening, and, when asked, provide appropriate advice. Do this without blaming them (or others) for the situation. Stay objective while being understanding of the situation. This is not a time for jokes or other humor. Be responsible for ensuring any excuses shared don’t derail a project, client relationship, or team effectiveness.
  5. Keep Your Calendar and Office Decluttered. You might ask why this matters during a conversation? It matters because a clean office is more inviting. Others feel more comfortable and are more open in what they have to say. If working remotely, remove wall art that could be offensive. Always minimize distractions. Otherwise, these can be become deterrents to having conversations and learning what you need to know in any situation.
  6. Pronounce Their Names Correctly and Use Their Preferred Names. Avoid using shortened versions (e.g., Jenny for Jennifer, etc.) or labeling others (e.g., superwoman, strong man, etc.). If you don’t remember the person’s name or don’t know how to pronounce it, ASK! “I’m not clear how to pronounce your name.” OR “I’ve met so many people recently. Can you remind me of your name?” Then, repeat the person’s name to their satisfaction.
  7. Ask Questions Without Sounding Like a Reporter. A good conversation puts others at ease. Learn how to have a conversation without first deep-diving into the who, what, when, where, and why. That’s what a reporter does. If you uncover a problem, be responsible for setting up the conversation before deep diving into it. “I’m hearing a potential issue in this conversation and need to clarify what I’m hearing. Is that OK?”
  8. Share Your Own Experiences. Team members want to know they are not alone in their challenges. When you share your experiences, start with the point of your story and end with the point to re-emphasize it. Remember, keep it short (about 1 minute) and stay focused on the topic. Most importantly, honor confidentiality.
  9. Keep an Open Mind. Stay focused on the topic at hand by taking a positive and healthy interest in their POV. Listen and respond to questions using straight talk. This encourages team members to stay at ease during any conversation. It’s how you discover what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker.  For more than 27 years, she has been an expert in guiding leaders to excel in business and beyond. Find out how effective you are as a communicator with all types of people. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. Don’t forget to listen to On the Air with Jeannette Seibly: It’s Your Time for Success on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

If you are underemployed or unemployed, it’s time to learn how to sell yourself and get that job, promotion, and/or pay raise!