Beyond the Illusion: Leading with Self-Awareness When Mistakes Happen

“Our self-awareness reminds us that we can and do make an impact. Just make sure it’s a positive one.” —Jeannette Seibly

Struggling with shame after a misstep or failed decision? You’re not alone. Every leader—regardless of title—has stumbled, missed key insights, or fallen short of expectations.

The real illusion is control—control over people, plans, and outcomes. Yet no matter how tightly we try to steer, situations and people can still go sideways.

Leadership isn’t tested when things unfold perfectly. It’s revealed in the moments that go off-script. That’s where self-awareness steps in. How we recognize, respond to, and grow from challenge—not the mistake itself—is what defines our leadership.

“Our self-awareness reminds us that we can and do make an impact. Just make sure it’s a positive one.” —Jeannette Seibly

Goals shift. Priorities evolve. Circumstances change. These are beyond our control—and that’s okay. The key is resilience. The secret is flexibility. And the real work? Getting honest. Staying grounded. Leading with self-awareness.

Staying Stuck in the Illusion

  • “I’m Not Enough.” This belief is seductive—but it’s still a lie. It whispers that you don’t have what it takes. Its twin is just as common: “I don’t have enough time or money.” Truth is, you get 24 hours—and plenty of successful ideas have started without funding.
  • Avoid Honest Conversations. Leadership begins with honesty—and that’s an inside job. If you can’t tell the truth to yourself, you’ll struggle to be real with others. That internal dishonesty quietly erodes trust, misaligns teams, and derails results.
  • Refuse Vulnerability. You don’t need to overshare in a dramatic monologue. But when you responsibly reveal the not-so-shiny parts of leadership, you invite support. You also encourage others to be honest with themselves. That’s how trust is built—and teams grow stronger.

How to Get Real: It Starts with Self-Awareness

Reset Your Inner Dialogue. That internal conversation you’re having with yourself—before, during, and after a misstep—shapes everything. If it’s clouded with judgment or self-doubt, don’t be surprised when others reflect that back. Mistakes don’t define your value. Neither do outcomes.

Talk Straight. Lead with facts—external and internal—and don’t skip the human impact. Clarity is empowering, not harsh. Share stories if they illuminate and uplift. Let them serve the listener, not your ego. The goal is progress, not pity.

Accept What Is. Ruminating on how it should be won’t change what is. If you talk about it – but ignore solutions, change won’t happen. That’s not leadership. That’s avoidance. And it denies your inner power to create win-win-win outcomes.

See the Opportunity in Every Challenge. Transformation hinges on your choices. Let go of “trying” to control the process with excuses. Excuses aren’t obstacles—they’re blinders.

Know Thyself. Most think they’re self-aware. Few truly are. Emotional intelligence isn’t just identifying patterns—it’s using them to shift. That’s emotional integrity. Want a shortcut? Use validated assessments. Work with an experienced executive coach. Lean on mentors. Self-awareness is a team sport.

Brag with Data. Know your wins—and measure them. Business speaks numbers. When you track your impact, you don’t have to prove your worth. You show it when you speak.

Build Mental Resilience. We’re often told to “suck it up” after failure. But real toughness blends resilience with emotional awareness. Don’t take the fall for others. Own your part. Resolve it. Then release it.

Own the Narrative. When things go sideways, run a quick “What Worked / What Didn’t” review. Bring in a trusted advisor—they’ll see what you missed. Don’t spiral. Get strategic. Take focused action—now.

Here’s your new mantra: “I am enough.” Not because everything went right. But because when it didn’t, you chose to lead with self-awareness instead of illusion. That’s leadership worth following.

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, specializes in delivering innovative solutions for hiring, coaching, and leadership challenges. Over the past 32 years, she has empowered business owners, bosses, and leaders to achieve remarkable success. With a steadfast commitment to excellence, Jeannette champions those eager to elevate, expand, and excel in their results.

Do Your Team Members Feel Safe Sharing Ideas?

“Do your team members feel comfortable sharing ideas? If not, it’s on you!” Jeannette Seibly

Psychological safety is an often-overlooked leadership issue. As a leader, you must create and ensure an environment where team members feel safe speaking up, taking risks, and expressing their thoughts without fear of punishment or ridicule.

How do ineffective leaders respond when team members voice concerns or make mistakes?

• Harsh criticism
• Micromanage
• Dismiss ideas
• Create fear, doubt, and anxiety
• Squash creativity
• Leave team members feeling unvalued, unheard, or disrespected

Leaders who foster psychological safety encourage innovation, honest feedback, and healthier workplace dynamics. Without it, team members may hold back ideas, hesitate to challenge poor decisions, or avoid admitting mistakes, leading to stagnation and inefficiency.

Strategies to Create Psychological Safety

1. Lead with Vulnerability – When leaders admit their own mistakes or uncertainties, it sets a tone that learning and growth are valued over unachievable perfection. Team members will feel more comfortable their challenges when you acknowledge yours. They bounce back from failure and mistakes faster with lessons learned.

o Hint: Practice storytelling with an executive coach—otherwise, meandering when sharing will lose your audience.

2. Encourage Open Dialogue – Actively invite team members to share their thoughts, ideas, and concerns. Use open-ended questions and listen with authentic curiosity.

o Hint: Phrases like “What do you think?” and “I’d love to hear your perspective” create engagement. Be sure to truly listen!

3. Respond Constructively to Mistakes – Frame mistakes as learning opportunities rather than failures. Instead of blame, ask, “What can we learn from this?” or “How can we improve next time?”

o Hint: Use the sandwich or direct approach for feedback, depending on the situation and the person. Remember to provide feedback in private.

4. Model Active Listening – Show engagement through eye contact, nodding, and summarizing what someone has said. Avoid nonverbal behaviors that signal distraction (e.g., multitasking, doodling, checking your phone, or tapping on the table).

o Hint: Stop multitasking, be present and mindful — focusing fully on the conversation in front of you.

5. Set Clear Expectations – Clarify that feedback, honesty, and risk-taking are valued. Team members won’t speak up if they fear negative repercussions.

o Hint: Regardless of the idea, say, “That’s great!” or “Wow, I never thought of it that way!” Then, follow up with “Tell me more.”

6. Recognize and Reward Effort – Celebrate contributions beyond successful outcomes, individually and as a team. Recognize everyone for trying new approaches, solving problems creatively, or helping others.

o Hint: Brag about their accomplishments and ideas to others—public recognition fosters confidence.

7. Promote Inclusivity – Ensure all voices are heard, including those who might be quiet or hesitant to speak. Encourage diverse perspectives and be mindful of power dynamics that could silence individuals.

o Hint: Go around the table at least twice to ensure everyone has a chance to voice their ideas. Ensure respect for all ideas.

Key takeaway: Psychological safety isn’t a one-time effort—it requires consistent reinforcement. When done right, it transforms teams and their results, encourages innovation, and strengthens trust.

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, specializes in delivering innovative solutions for hiring, coaching, and leadership challenges. Over the past 32 years, she has empowered business owners, executives, and managers to achieve remarkable success. With a steadfast commitment to excellence, Jeannette champions those eager to elevate, expand, and excel in their results.

 

Using Coaching to Improve Results

“Have you ever failed in a project or job? Consider it’s because you’re not coachable.” Jeannette Seibly

Do you want to elevate, expand, and excel? Keep reading …

Executive coaching can lead to extraordinary outcomes for leaders and management teams. The right coach helps professionals collaborate effectively, driving higher ROI, profitability, and retention while creating a workplace culture where people truly enjoy going to work.

Why Do Leaders Resist Hiring a Coach?

Many leaders hesitate because they fear losing control or being told what to do. But leadership development is critical, and overlooking it can limit success and stall progress. The most common concerns include:

• Fear of losing authority – Coaching is about gaining clarity and strategic guidance, not giving up control.
• Belief they should already have the answers – Many leaders feel they must have everything figured out, which leads to resistance.
• Perceived expense – Some view coaching as a cost rather than an investment in long-term growth and success.

A True Story

A business owner excelling in sales was advised to focus instead on being the boss. For a year, she struggled—her sales declined. With the help of an executive coach and a qualified job fit assessment, she discovered that her real super-strength was selling. She pivoted, and with coaching for her and her team, her company’s bottom line improved.

Why You’re Not Achieving Results You Want

You refuse to be coachable. Many people expect coaching to work like magic. Insights might feel good in the moment, but they fade. Success requires action—stepping beyond comfort zones. When you aim for BIG projects, you must be ready to leave familiarity behind and work with a coach. Remember, a coach is there to support you through this growth and help you work through obstacles.

“You will only grow as far as you are willing to be uncomfortable.” Jeannette Seibly

Common Roadblocks

Momentum Loss – Initial excitement dwindles and progress stalls when ideas sit too long, get overanalyzed, or fear creeps in (“I have too much on my plate” / “I don’t have time” / “What’s in it for me?”).

Fear, Doubt, and Worry. This deadly trio clouds judgment. And, when you let them take over, logic takes a backseat.

Ego Sabotage – Pride gets in the way (“They should come to me” / “I shouldn’t have to work this hard”).

Choosing the Wrong Coach – Many over-promise results due to a lack experience. Also, many treat coaching as a temporary gig until a “real job” comes along.

Multitasking on Calls – You or the coach is trying to do other tasks, which leads to missed insights and weak execution (e.g., relying on only note-taking instead of listening).

Over-Reliance on a Coach – A coach provides guidance, but the decisions and actions must be your own.

Ignoring Inner Power – Discomfort doesn’t mean stop—it means there’s unfinished business to address.

How to Overcome Roadblocks

Maintain Momentum – Capture ideas immediately, outline the action plan, and execute before enthusiasm fades. That means you’ve taken focused action within 24 to 48 hours!

Shift Mindset – Instead of focusing on roadblocks, find five ways an idea could work. Over-reliance on emotions gets in the way of logically working through how it can work, or tweaking the plan, or finding another way to work through the obstacle.

Embrace Humility – Work with a coach to call out ego-driven thinking and challenge limiting beliefs. This is critical since any successful leader has had to have conversations they would rather not have. Instead of ignoring them, they work with the coach and develop a plan to follow, and then actually follow it!

Master Communication – Understanding different thinking styles enhances team collaboration and decision-making. Use a qualified job fit assessment to help each person better understand the diversity on their team and how to work together more effectively.

Hire for Experience – A certification doesn’t guarantee skill—look for proven results and real-world expertise. Ask for references and call them – have clarity from your boss or board about what you need to work on.

Successful people work with their coach to leverage obstacles into opportunities. True growth comes from being coachable, staying accountable, and taking decisive action.

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, specializes in delivering innovative solutions for hiring, coaching, and leadership challenges. Over the past 32 years, she has empowered business owners, executives, and managers to achieve remarkable success. With a steadfast commitment to excellence, Jeannette champions those eager to elevate, expand, and excel in their results.

Are You a Rebel Leader Creating Positive Change, Or Just Being Annoying? Part 2

“Being a rebel leader requires taking focused actions that actually make a positive difference.” Jeannette Seibly

Last week, we discussed the fine line between effective rebel leadership as a boss and leader, and being annoying when advocating for change. Through examples, we explored how rebel leadership can drive impactful transformation when approached thoughtfully, and contrasted it with behaviors that might unintentionally alienate or frustrate others in companies. We also examined the core principles that define true rebel leadership. Here’s the URL for last week’s article.

Unleash Your Inner Rebel for Positive Results

As a boss and leader, here’s the blueprint for navigating and implementing change effectively, designed to align with your structured, data-driven mindset and passion for impactful leadership communication:

1. Clarity: Articulate the change with a compelling “why” that evokes both emotional and rational connections.

2. Conversation: Transform dialogue into collaborative exploration, not persuasion. Start by openly acknowledging differing viewpoints to build trust.

3. Listen: Encourage creative conversations that generate input and buy-in. Use active listening techniques—paraphrase and validate to deepen collaboration. Remember: Emotional attachment to your idea can hinder its success.

4. Brainstorm: Explore possibilities through lateral thinking—ask bold open-ended questions like “What if?” and “How else?” Fold in your team’s ideas without losing sight of the intended outcome’s value.

5. Alignment: Strive for outcomes that benefit all stakeholders. Showcase clear examples of shared goals and steer away from consensus-seeking; not everyone readily embraces change, even when it’s in their best interest.

6. Plan: Create digestible visual aids such as flowcharts or timelines to outline the essentials: “what,” “who,” “when,” “where,” and “why.” Save the “how” for later stages.

7. Due Diligence: Assess feasibility through a checklist that includes ethical, logistical, operational, human, and financial dimensions. For instance: Ensure the scientific and legal viability of job-fit assessments that you wish to use.

8. Goals and Actions: Craft concise, inspiring goals (10 words or fewer) paired with actionable plans. Now, you’re ready to include the “how.” Example: “Transition the 10-member team to agile practices by June 30, 2025.”

9. Presentation: Make it compelling by narrating relatable stories to highlight the change’s significance, supported with objective evidence.

10. Address Concerns: Remember, when pitching your idea, have factual data on hand to dispel fears, and acknowledge emotional resistance empathetically. Remember, there will always be skepticism about any change. Again (this cannot be emphasized enough), don’t discount their concerns — address them with respect and to maintain credibility and influence.

11. Parallel Systems: Establish protocols for testing new processes alongside existing ones. This ensures business continuity even if issues arise.

12. Address Snafus: Highlight challenges by drawing on past examples of overcoming difficulties. Don’t ignore or talk over them – issues will happen! Engage directly with problem solvers to manage hiccups effectively.

13. Acknowledgment and Appreciation: Celebrate contributions publicly or through personalized “brags” design to acknowledge each and every team member. Use moments of gratitude to amplify morale and showcase leadership savvy

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Working with small and family businesses, her expertise helps leaders and bosses refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.

Leadership Development: Turning Challenges into Opportunities

“Developing future leaders requires full-time opportunities … not one-and-done events.” Jeannette Seibly

All too often, companies believe their leaders are ready to take the reins. Sadly, many leadership development efforts fail to prepare current leaders and develop new ones. It’s why many employees today say “no” to leadership roles.

Why? Too often, they not only know they are not ready …, but they also believe their company has no commitment in getting them leader-ready.

Let’s explore the common pitfalls and how to overcome mediocre-to-great leadership results.

What Does the Company Normally Do?

  • Use generic programs and fail to monitor results.
  • Rely on biased and subjective impressions by one or two decision-makers.
  • Focus on classroom case studies and hypothetical theories.
  • Overlook behavioral and attitude changes required to lead others.
  • Fail to acknowledge and refine progress.

What Challenges Does the Leader Normally Fail to Do?

Fail to …

  • Ask for help when experiencing problems in situations or working relationships
  • Engage distracted team members
  • Develop team members
  • Balance facts and emotions
  • Produce sustainable results
  • Focus on tangible metrics (e.g., instead focus on superficial happiness to improve retention).

Ways to Prepare for Outstanding Leadership Results

Personalize Development Plans: Create individualized development plans that align with both organizational goals and personal strengths. The goal is to elevate — first you must establish a baseline. It’s important to remember: Have monthly 1:1 reviews and executive coaching sessions and monitor results.

  • Conduct a Thorough Assessment: Evaluate the leader’s current skills and strengths through objective assessments, and identify areas for improvement through self-assessments, peer reviews, and performance evaluations.
  • Align Goals: Ensure that the leader’s goals are in sync with the organization’s strategic objectives, driving both individual and company growth.
  • Focus on Workshops and Courses: Identify workshops and courses that address the leader’s specific development needs, covering both technical and soft skills, such as communication, emotional intelligence, and leadership. Ensure these skills are being used effectively and developed on-the-job.
  • Provide Challenging Projects and Roles: Have them take on projects or roles that push them out of their comfort zones and facilitate practical learning.
  • Engage in Cross-Functional Team Participation: Involve them in cross-functional teams to broaden perspectives and understand various aspects of the business.

Establish Continuous Feedback Loops: Implement mechanisms for real-time improvement and growth.

  • Monthly Check-Ins: Yes, this is a repeat and often overlooked! Schedule monthly one-on-one meetings between the leader and their mentor and boss to review progress, discuss challenges, and adjust the development plan as needed.
  • Feedback Mechanisms: Utilize these reviews to provide constructive feedback and recognize achievements, creating a continuous loop for ongoing improvement.
  • Action Plans: Develop action plans during these sessions to address identified issues and set short-term goals for the upcoming month. Be sure to check in during the month. (Don’t make the mistake of creating a laundry list! Only focus on two areas at a time.)

Offer Executive Coaching Sessions:

  • Engage with an Executive Coach: Hire a professional executive coach who can offer personalized guidance and support, bringing external perspectives and expertise to accelerate leadership development.
  • Advanced Leadership Techniques: Focus on advanced leadership strategies tailored to the leader’s unique style and the organization’s culture (e.g., communication is crucial).

Provide Mentorship Programs: Establish mentorship opportunities where experienced leaders guide and support emerging leaders. Manage and ensure these are supportive, and monitor their impact on situations and working relationships.

Invest in Emotional Intelligence: Encourage leaders to develop emotional intelligence to better connect with their teams and foster a positive work environment.

Please note: By addressing these areas, companies can transform their leadership development programs into powerful engines for growth and success. And leaders can evolve from average to outstanding, making a significant and positive impact on their teams and organizations.

Note 2: While a new trend is focused on AI being able to develop, train, mentor, and coach emerging leaders — they are wrong! Don’t forget that feedback requires the human element!

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Her expertise helps leaders and bosses refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.

How to Improve Your Legacy as a Boss and Leader

“Do you want to leave a legacy of being a great boss and leader? It means getting real about what is required.” Jeannette Seibly

As a boss or leader, have you ever wondered if you’re the right one for your company? It’s a common concern that often goes unanswered due to fear and a reluctance to admit you need help. But remember, every great boss and leader started somewhere, and with the right guidance and self-reflection, you can grow into the role that your company needs.

The added challenge often overlooked is that when bosses and leaders are hired or promoted, the company focuses on today’s skills and overlooks the talents, skills, and natural abilities required to excel at the next level.

Decades ago, Timothy, a former company president, and his partner, Susan, started a company to fulfill their mutual dream. But when Susan suddenly passed away 10 years later, Timothy took over running the company. But he did not have the talent or interest to do the job—he did so out of ego, pride, and fear of being humiliated if he didn’t.

The consequences of not aligning talents with leadership roles were evident in Timothy’s case. He and several of his key people lacked the required level of integrity and competence, failing to develop the trust of others. This led to a toxic and discriminatory environment, costing the company money, people, and credibility. Ultimately, the company was forced to shut its doors.

Today, Timothy still believes he successfully built his dream due to his wealth. However, he has failed to recognize that most people do not positively remember him or the company—all because he was not the right leader for his company. This serves as a stark reminder of the consequences of not being the right leader, a lesson that every boss and leader should take to heart.

Most bosses and leaders want to be effective and be remembered for their contributions. Achieving this requires becoming and then continuing to be the right leader. This journey starts with self-awareness and self-reflection, empowering you to identify your strengths and areas for improvement.

Are You the Right Leader for Your Company?

Get Real About Your True Talents. In an ideal world, everyone could do any job they wanted. In the real world, it doesn’t work that way. If you don’t have the interests, thinking style, and core behaviors to fit the job, forcing yourself (and others) into jobs or positions where they struggle, is a disaster on many levels: loss of results, revenues, reputation, and retention. It’s not just about your personal success, but also about the success and sustainability of your company.

Too often, we attempt to mimic others who have talents that we don’t possess. We take jobs that pay more or provide a better job title even when the job doesn’t fit our natural talents and strengths. The result? It will derail our career ambitions.

I’ve talked with many talented business people who rely on circular logic to rationalize why they dream of and pursue the wrong jobs! In the meantime, they’re sacrificing their health, well-being, family time, reputation, integrity, and quality of results. As most former bosses and leaders will tell you, “It’s not worth the price they had to pay!”

To avoid this problem, work with an executive coach who uses a qualified job fit selection assessment and has the experience and insights to help you get real. Focusing on what you really, really, really want to achieve and pursuing it is well worth the investment of time and money.

Accept Jobs Based on Job Fit. We often accept job offers, job promotions, or job transitions that are not in our best interests, although we tell ourselves the ‘big lie’ that we can fake it. Do you know of or remember “The Peter Principle? It is the observation that people tend to be promoted to their level of incompetence.” Don’t let this happen to you! Reread Get Real About Your True Talents in the paragraph above.

Trust has two dimensions: competence and integrity.

We can forgive mistakes of competence.

Mistakes of integrity are harder to overcome. Simon Sinek

Develop Trust in Yourself. Do you honor your word to yourself? Your family and friends? Or can they count on you offering the same old, same old excuse of being too busy, not having enough money, or some other common rationale?

If you wish to develop into a trustworthy boss or leader, the ‘proof’ is first honoring your word to yourself. Start small. Do one thing without fail and continue to build from there. Remember, one day at a time – and consistency is required.

Develop Trust with Your Team. As a boss or leader, it’s no longer about you! It’s about your ability to hire the right people for job fit and then get out of their way so they can excel. You’re there as a resource, guide, and advocate!

Building trust requires honoring your commitments to the company and its people. Your decisions and actions must align with the company’s mission and values, and you must consistently, without fail, hold everyone accountable (including yourself).

Questions to ask yourself:

  • Am I someone others want to work with?
  • Do I have the competence required?
  • Am I able to develop others to excel?
  • Am I able to ask for help, even when I don’t think I need it?
  • Do I fail to take trusted advice and do it my way by cutting corners?
  • Do I blame others for my poor decisions?

Be Happy. Too often, we become fixated on the type of job, job title, and pay/perks we believe will make us happy. But the truth is that happiness comes from using your inner power, developing self-confidence, and respecting your natural talents, gifts, and strengths.

Years ago, an executive told me, “Everyone is unhappy in their jobs. So, it shouldn’t matter if I fit the job or not.”

Sadly, many of you would agree! But the truth is, many opportunities are available today to create career paths that honor your talents, gifts, and strengths. It just takes you doing the right work!

Summary. In the long run, satisfaction and happiness are more important than a larger paycheck. You’ll learn that your health and well-being matter most — instead of waiting until you experience irreparable burnout to learn this invaluable lesson. Otherwise, it may be too late to make the needed changes as a boss and/or leader and leave a positive legacy.

©Jeannette Seibly 2024 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor/Leadership Results Coach with over 31 years of practical experience guiding leaders and bosses to improve their hiring, coaching, and managing practices and produce amazing results! And yes, achieving business success always starts with having the right people in the right jobs! She has been an Authorized PXT Select® Partner for over 32 years. Contact Jeannette to learn more about these state-of-the-art job-fit assessment tools or how to coach and manage your people to achieve incredible results.

A note from Jeannette: Do you want to improve your legacy as a boss and leader? It’s not too late to become the right boss or leader. If you’re frustrated or confused about how to make needed changes, you’re not alone! Let’s talk and use my 31+ years of resolving leadership and management issues before it’s too late. Contact me now!

It’s time to talk it out! Are there days you dread managing people, projects, and your team’s financial performance? You’re not alone! Everyone has their blind spots! NOW is the time to get the guidance you need to make the right changes during 2024. I have extensive experience and wisdom guiding bosses and leaders to hire, coach, and manage their teams successfully. The bonus is that they achieve unprecedented results. Contact me to learn more about my in-depth, one-on-one, customized coaching programs.

This book (“Hire Amazing Employees”) can help you improve your hiring process by Nancy Schick, NY Employment Attorney and Mediator. I met Jeannette Seibly a few months ago In this Together Round Table, where I also learned about her book, Hire Amazing Employees. Since my clients frequently struggle with this task, I bought myself a copy and gave several as gifts. The book contains many helpful tips for avoiding the impact of hiring errors. Read the full testimonial here.

Are You Feeling Burnt Out?

“Want to diminish feeling burnt out? Have the conversations you’ve been ignoring and avoiding.” Jeannette Seibly

Today, many bosses and leaders are feeling burnt out. Exhaustion whittles away at their self-esteem, confidence, and productivity. With all the many videos and blogs about “being mentally tough,” it becomes even more challenging to acknowledge that you need help. Unfortunately, “keep going” and “work harder” rarely provide the insights you need. And telling yourself, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” doesn’t reduce burnt-out feelings either.

What’s missing? Having those conversations you’ve been ignoring and avoiding.

“Really?” You may ask.

“Yes!” I will respond.

Failure to ask for help, clean up misunderstandings, and use avoidance strategies sabotage one’s inner power and leave one feeling burnt out.

Here’s How to Create Conversations that Reduce “Burn Out”

Talk with Your Coach. The first step is to confidentially discuss the issues and fears with your executive coach. If you’re honest, you will discover that you were not listening when an assignment was given to you (so you failed to capture required metrics), that you overreacted to gossip, or that you didn’t explain the purpose of an assignment you gave to your team members, etc. Etc. Etc. Etc.

This conversation with your executive coach will guide you to take responsibility and clarify how to “clean up” the miscommunication to get back on track. You will feel energized afterward!

Talk Straight. When you’re willing to talk straight, you can resolve anything with anyone. Use “I,” and don’t blame others for the issues or feelings you are experiencing. Listening is a critical part of this process.

Schedule the Tough Conversations. Come to these conversations prepared. If the results from multiple conversations don’t cause a positive change, give one last notification, then let them go. Otherwise, you will continue to be moody, frustrated, and difficult to work with (aka burnt out).

Make the Difficult Decision and Honor Yourself. What if the issue is with your boss or client? If you have a boss or client who is a dictator or tyrant, you must find a different job or client. But before you do so, have a conversation to make a positive difference. The conversation will require a lot of diplomacy and preparation (aka talking with your executive coach first). Remember, just because your co-workers deny having trouble working with toxic personalities doesn’t mean you have to put up with it (aka feeling burnt out).

Manage Employee Personalities. Conflict, factionalism, and blame will burn out most bosses and leaders quickly. If employee personalities drive you up the wall, it’s time to get real and get to the core issue. The quickest, most effective way to get to the core is to use a qualified job fit assessment. For example, when an employee is “fact-driven,” and the other one is focused on “feelings,” OR when someone loves to gossip. In contrast, others want to focus on the details of the project; it’s time to encourage conversations that appreciate differences. Use a qualified facilitator that provides objective insights to ensure everyone is heard, valued, and respected.

©Jeannette Seibly 2024 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor/Leadership Results Coach with over 31 years of practical experience guiding leaders and bosses to improve their hiring, coaching, and managing practices and produce amazing results! And yes, achieving business success always starts with having the right people in the right jobs! She has been an Authorized PXT Select® Partner for over 32 years. Contact Jeannette to learn more about these state-of-the-art job-fit assessment tools or how to coach and manage your people to achieve incredible results.

A note from Jeannette: Talking it out is essential to reducing burnout. Yet, it can be hard to have tough conversations when you’ve been ignoring and avoiding them. Hoping the issue will disappear will leave you frustrated and overwhelmed because issues rarely resolve themselves. Instead of attempting to handle this on your own, consider talking to someone who has over 31+ years of resolving people’s issues and fears. Contact me now!

It’s time to talk it out! Are there days you dread managing people, projects, and your team’s financial performance? You’re not alone! Everyone has their blind spots! NOW is the time to get the guidance you need to make the right changes during 2024. I have extensive experience and wisdom guiding bosses and leaders to hire, coach, and manage their teams successfully. The bonus is that they achieve unprecedented results. Contact me to learn more about my in-depth, one-on-one, customized coaching programs.

Want to Blast Through Tough Times?

“Tough times don’t stay tough when real actions are taken to resolve the issue.” Jeannette Seibly

Everyone experiences tough times. It’s a reality that you cannot avoid.

But tough times don’t have to last for a long time if you take real actions to resolve the situation, relationships, or failure.

The key is to learn from these tough times. Then, move on. Remember, making hasty, poorly thought-out decisions during these times will cause the problem(s) to hang around longer!

Jere was devastated that another team member quit – but at least this one had let him know before he left instead of ghosting him as the others had done. When his boss demanded Jere take action instead of wallowing in his “tough time,” he talked with his executive coach.

The coach walked him through the steps required. This time, Jere took notes instead of citing money and time as excuses for his poor hiring practices. Changing old habits and looking at leadership blind spots helped Jere see why his tough times kept hanging around! Jere took real action by being coachable and listening to his executive coach! He spent several hours setting up his job fit selection system and had others (e.g., HR and legal) sign off on it. The good news? With this new system, he improved his selection process and worked with his executive coach to improve his management and coaching style. His team retention increased, and so did his customers’ satisfaction.

The three lessons he learned?

  • Stop attempting to do everything “your own way” … it only creates tough times.
  • Time and money are the most common (aka lazy) excuses that overlook the valid reason for bad habits hanging around!
  • Working with an executive coach will teach you how to develop resilience, resourcefulness, and flexibility in your management style.

How to Develop Resilience, Resourcefulness, and Flexibility

Resilience. The experience of working through the tough times in a way that creates intended results and resilience. The best way is to work with an executive coach who has been through tough times and helped others successfully navigate them. Remember, attempting to take shortcuts or believing you have it all handled when you experience a minor victory only keeps the tough times hanging around and makes the lesson(s) more expensive.

Resourcefulness. Take initiative because sitting and waiting for the answers never works. Resourcefulness requires focused action to resolve the issue, challenge, or problem.

Example: Trina kept waiting for Ted, her team member, to improve. Even though she continued to receive customer complaints, she did nothing. Her biggest fear was having a straight conversation with Ted and causing him to quit. Trina didn’t feel other team members were capable of doing his job. (A false assumption.) When her boss demanded she work with her executive coach, she finally asked for real help. They created a plan. First, Trina looked at the objective data for all her team members and found that several had the skills required. Then, Trina talked with Ted. Surprisingly, he told her he planned to leave but didn’t know what to say to her. They worked out a focused action plan and delegated different parts of Ted’s job to other team members who looked forward to their new job responsibilities.

Flexibility. We all believe we know how people and situations should work. But know-it-alls usually hurt themselves and keep the tough times around longer than others. Flexibility requires listening and expanding your perspective for you and your team to cross the finish line and win.

Example: Joseph believed he was right that no one else could do his job as well as he did. The problem was that Joseph was in an auto accident, and the team had to pitch in to honor customer commitments or lose a lot of money during this tough time. During the process, Joseph learned flexibility and how to allow others to do the work without micromanaging them. The good news? Joseph and his team realized that working together made the results even better, with happier customers!

©Jeannette Seibly 2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a champion for success. As a leader, do you have bosses that are difficult for teams to work with? Jeannette’s depth of experience and wisdom can transform those bosses from hated to respected! Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion.

A note from Jeannette about being Resilient, Resourceful, and Flexible during tough times: All bosses and leaders experience tough times, often more than once, twice, or thrice! During these times, lessons are available for management and leadership growth … if you are open to them! If you’re not, your tough times will hang around longer than you want. Have questions about what you need to do? Contact me!

Are you ready to build your confidence and success as a boss? The coach is in! Every boss and leader has their blind spots! They get in the way of being a results-producer! When tough times occur, and they will, asking for the right help is important! I have extensive experience and wisdom guiding bosses to hire, coach, and manage their teams. Along the way, they achieve unprecedented results. Contact me to learn more about my in-depth, one-on-one, customized coaching programs.

Feeling the Holiday Stress Already?

For busy business professionals, stress is unavoidable, especially during the holidays. Stressors impact your results, interactions with people, and your ability to get everything done!

To disrupt holiday stress and manage it, clarify, prioritize, and take focused action steps to move forward. It sounds simple, but it’s not always easy to do.

Get Into Action to Reduce Stress!

Pick one now and do it! It doesn’t matter which one. Just do it!

Prioritize. Not everything is a priority. Make a list of everything that you believe needs to be done. Circle the top ten. Now, cut the list down to the top three. Rank your priorities 1, 2, and 3. Do number 1 now. When it’s done, move on to number 2. Then, number 3. Don’t forget to celebrate the completion of each task. Note: Be honest with yourself! If you won’t do something on the list, just cross it off!

Let Go. Not everything needs to be done immediately. If you need to file or shred papers, get an oil change for your vehicle, or replace a light bulb, schedule it on your calendar for later in the week. Then, honor that scheduled time.

Delegate. Stop being a lone ranger. Yes, your team members will not do things exactly the same way you would. Consider that they might do a better job … if you let them.

Do It for 20 minutes. Too often, we have dreaded reports or other activities we must do. Yawn. Instead, set a timer and do it for 20 minutes. Then, decide whether to spend another 20 minutes or schedule it for later.

Excuses Be Gone. Too often, we create excuses about why we haven’t completed something. Stop! The mental energy would be better spent developing and taking action on the mantra, “I can do this and do it now.”

Stop Multitasking. Commit to getting one thing done at a time. There is satisfaction in fully completing something. While it may seem like multitasking allows you to get more things done, it rarely works that way. For example, attempting to write a report and listen to an employee simultaneously only creates more stress for both of you. You will miss addressing essential points in the report, and your employee will feel unheard and unimportant.

Write It Out. Studies have shown that it can be cathartic when people write down their fears, upsets, and frustrations. Writing helps get negative thoughts out of your head and provides insights. The key is to keep things private and not share your written journal with others. Do not send your upsets in an email or text to your boss, client, employee, or co-worker (or post them on social media). They are private.

Walk It Out. Take 10 minutes, three times daily, to walk around, go up and down the stairs, or simply move! Remember to breathe!

Talk It Out. Turn your internal monologues into dialogues. Get them out of your head. Share your concerns with someone who can help you. It may be an excellent time to find an executive coach who can help you stay focused and improve your effectiveness while decreasing stress.

Meditate. Take time to empty your mind and be silent for several minutes. It can be refreshing. Sit comfortably. Focus on breathing in and out. When thoughts appear—and they will—say, “Noise.” Don’t make these thoughts good or bad. Meditating may be the most effective way to reduce tension and anxiety, yet the most difficult for highly stressed people.

Brag. When you learn how to brag, it is a huge confidence booster. Complete your Brag! statements. Keep these up to date and review them anytime stress doesn’t go away or you need a confidence boost. Remember, 2024 is right around the corner. Be ready to win a new job, promotion, opportunity, pay raise, and/or sale … or any goal that fulfills you.

©Jeannette Seibly 2018–2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a champion for success. As a leader, do you have bosses that are difficult for teams to work with? Jeannette’s depth of experience and wisdom can transform those bosses from hated to respected! Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion.

A note from Jeannette about de-stressing during this time of the year: Stress is unavoidable, especially during the holidays … many of you have expectations for yourself and others, year-end challenges, and unfilled goals. Before you do anything else … breathe. Take time this year to de-stress and enjoy the holiday season. It will support you as we round the corner into 2024! Contact me if you need a sounding board. Happy Holidays!

Are you ready to build your confidence and success as a boss? The coach is in! Every boss and leader has their blind spots! They get in the way of being a results-producer! When tough times occur, and they will, asking for the right help is important! I have extensive experience and wisdom guiding bosses to hire, coach, and manage their teams. Along the way, they achieve unprecedented results. Contact me to learn more about my in-depth, one-on-one, customized coaching programs.

Why Do You Need a Leadership Coach?

“Every successful leader has a coach … or two.” Jeannette Seibly

The short answer: In today’s world, many unknown factors occur when you create new systems, design new products and services, and handle people challenges to meet customer demands.

Change (real and perceived) causes anxiety for you, team members, boards, and customers. When you (or they) are uncomfortable or confronted, it feels like a mosquito constantly buzzing. Then, you (or they) may do mischievous things to make the annoyance stop (make bad decisions, focus on personal impacts, hideout).

On October 7th, I celebrated having been a leadership, executive, and people coach for over 31 years!

I’ve worked with:

  • Tough leaders that continually get themselves in trouble.
  • Other leaders that have the capabilities but not the drive and willingness to address the “tough issues” or have the “tough conversations.”
  • Successful leaders that are the guiding light for others and understand they still need an objective sounding board when making those “tough decisions.”

My philosophy: Good leaders with leadership coaches produce their intended results while guiding their team members to grow.

Having a leadership coach will:

  • Sharpen your skills
  • Help you be coachable
  • Teach you to accept feedback from customers, bosses, teams, and others
  • Provide a committed listener to reduce anxiety, stress, and frustrations
  • Improve decisions, relationships, results, and bottom lines
  • Show you how to develop team members to excel and achieve unprecedented results

6 Traits Required to Grow Your Leadership

Influence Others. Being an influencer depends on your ability to work with and through others! Making good decisions and providing clarity during the murky times is the leader’s opportunity to influence while growing the team. Your leadership coach guides you in your critical thinking, working relationships, and basic knowledge.

For example, if you have a team conflict, it’s essential to address it immediately because it never gets better. (Or, I would have already!) As an influencer and leader, develop a strategy with your coach. Start the process using a qualified job-fit assessment to help the team see why they are pointing fingers at each other and how to achieve the intended results. (Objective data)

Listen While Building a Workable Plan. Listening is critical for everyone, especially a successful leader. It’s amazing what you’ll hear and the ideas that pop up as a result of true listening. Remember, not every idea has a positive return on investment. Work with your coach to ensure everyone is encouraged to contribute solutions and that the plan meets budgets, timelines, and customer needs.

Make Good Decisions. Too often, leaders want to be liked. As a result, they fail to make good decisions or any decisions. They lose the respect of others, including their board, top talent, and customers. A leadership coach helps you formulate good business questions to ask before having the required conversations to make better decisions.

Work with Difficult People. There will always be nay-sayers, those jealous and upset that you have what they want (e.g., job, title, results, money). It’s impossible to avoid these types of co-workers and employees. But don’t ignore the gossip they create, and include them in discussions by asking for their advice. (Use mindful resilience techniques when triggered by their comments or actions.) While this minimizes the negativity, it won’t stop them from their critical critique of you. (It’s not personal – if it wasn’t about you, they would criticize someone or something else … and often do.)

Clarify Leadership Blind Spots. Work with your leadership coach to discover your leadership blind spots. Remember, you can build on strengths. Focusing on weaknesses only keeps them around.

Avoid Excuses! Time and money are the #1 excuses and rarely the real issues. Look beneath these excuses to identify the fears you and others attempt to cover up. Are the fears something that can be addressed? In most cases, yes. Working with your coach keeps the conversation moving forward, ensures it stays on point and provides realistic goals/results.

©Jeannette Seibly 2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a champion for success. As a leader, do you have bosses that are difficult for teams to work with? Jeannette’s depth of experience and wisdom comes from 31 years of transforming bosses from hated to respected! Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion.

A note from Jeannette about working with a leadership coach: Successful leaders have coaches! Let me repeat this! Successful leaders have coaches! (think Michael Jordan, Tom Brady) A coach helps improve your results, people management, and ability to navigate complicated relationships and situations. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation about how to hire the right leadership coach for you!

The coach is in! Are you ready to build your confidence and success as a boss? As a leader, do you have bosses that are difficult for teams to work with? Or are you one of those bosses? With my depth of experience and wisdom, I transform bosses from hated to respected! Contact me to learn more about my in-depth, one-on-one, customized coaching programs.