
Between 40% and 60% of conversational utterances are ego-related, focusing on our own feelings, opinions, and personal experiences. This self-centered conversational tendency is even more pronounced on social media, where some 80% of communication focuses on the self. (Wall Street Journal, January 2025)
The Problem: Poor communication is a widespread issue in workplaces today, worsening among leaders and bosses causes preventable conflicts.
Why This Matters: Leaders must listen, engage, and encourage employees. Otherwise, it will impede projects, budgets, timelines, quality, delivery, and other results.
Communication Styles That Cause Conflicts
• Self-Interest Approach: Asking questions just to turn the conversation to oneself (aka BoomerAsking). (Wall Street Journal, January 2025).
• Top-Down Approach: Dictating tasks without explaining “why” undervalues team members, stifles brainstorming, and leads to passive resistance.
• Passive Approach: Avoiding conflict and not asserting opinions leads to unresolved issues and perceived weak leadership.
• Aggressive Approach: Harsh, confrontational communication erodes trust and makes team members fear sharing ideas.
• Manipulative Approach: Deceit and fact-spinning create a toxic culture of mistrust.
• Inconsistent Approach: Frequently changing messages (aka relying on your feelings and indecisiveness) cause confusion and make leadership seem unreliable.
• Lack of Openness Approach: Unwillingness to listen to feedback and new ideas alienates team members and stifles innovation.
• Overly Technical Approach: Using complex language alienates non-experts and hinders understanding.
No one wants to believe that they are using these approaches. But take a moment and really look to see when, where, and why you engage in these bad habits.
How to Transform These Bad Habits
1. Hire an Executive Coach. Even if you need to pay for it yourself, it’s worth every dollar. Poor communication is why many bosses and leaders find themselves unemployed or sidelined. It’s avoidable with an executive coach.
2. Use a Qualified Job Fit Assessment. Understand “why” your thinking style, core behavioral traits, and occupational interests can get in the way of communicating effectively with others. This objective tool is priceless and helps you keep your job! And, when used as designed, can help you get promoted!
3. Develop Strong Meeting Leadership: Leading meetings effectively is crucial — on-site, remote, and hybrid. Work with your coach, take workshops, and watch videos to learn the nuances between mediocre and great meetings. Your communication style will determine the success of your teams’ results.
4. Become an Active Listener and Listen to and Give Constructive Feedback: Attend and participate in workshops, leadership coaching sessions, and other feedback programs. Don’t be afraid to provide quality feedback that makes a positive difference. It all requires good communication skills and an awareness of how you are perceived.
5. Develop Emotional Intelligence. Being mindful is key. Learn when and how to use humor, approach sensitive topics with empathy, and be willing to learn along with your team.
6. Pay Attention to Generational Differences. Older generations may use meetings to tout “this is the way it’s always been done,” making it difficult for newer employees to provide new ideas and solutions. Younger employees may rely too much on social media as “the way to get things done” and fail to understand “fake news” and “sensational podcasts designed to attract ‘Likes.’” It’s up to you to manage these interactions with communication finesse!
7. Train on Etiquette and Expectations: It starts with you! Become familiar with virtual conferencing systems and how to effectively communicate using them! Then, train your team members and others on how to get the most out of these meetings.
8. Be Coachable and Have a Willingness to Admit Mistakes: When you feel insecure about a situation or working relationship, you will tend to dominate the conversation instead of asking for help. Share your experience with brevity and admit when you don’t know something. (It’s a foundational skill required of great leaders.) Hold yourself accountable for implementing the feedback asap.
Good communication skills used during 1:1’s, team meetings, and other conversational moments can be beneficial to everyone … especially you! Remember, a good communication style will avoid conflict and will enhance your team’s cohesion and productivity while achieving great results!
©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved
Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Her expertise helps leaders and bosses refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.