Many bosses and leaders don’t prioritize building proactive, healthy work relationships. They’re often in denial, fail to see the value, or unknowingly sabotage their ability to collaborate effectively.
As a result, when support is needed to resolve workplace issues or navigate complex customer challenges, they’re left disappointed, frustrated, or hurt. Why? Because the co-workers and bosses they ignored or dismissed are now unavailable—or worse, judgmental. These colleagues may respond with, “Here’s what I would’ve done,” or “You should’ve asked me sooner,” rather than offering real help.
Sabine, a mid-level boss constantly complained about her director. Her best friend finally urged her to hire an executive coach. Sabine didn’t believe a coach could fix the problem—especially not the slashed quarterly bonuses or lack of resources—but she reluctantly agreed.
Her coach offered a simple recommendation: “Go have a conversation with your director. Not just any conversation—one that makes a real, positive difference. Start building a better work relationship. You don’t have to like him, but you do need to respect that he’s your boss.”
Sabine snapped, “If I’d known you were going to tell me that, I never would’ve hired you.” The coach replied calmly, “But you did hire me. Now do it. You’ll be amazed at the difference.”
Sabine followed through—and the coach was right. The results were phenomenal. Sabine became one of the few people who could work well with that director.
The bonus? Six months later, the company president called Sabine: “I heard you’re doing great things. When you’re ready, I want you to run one of my new companies.”
Building strong work relationships—especially with difficult team members or bosses—directly impacts your promotability, results, and career opportunities.
How to Develop Better Relationships
- Listen—Really Listen. Yes, I say that often. But unless you truly listen, the rest of these tips won’t matter.
- Take Responsibility for Biases and Judgments. You may think no one notices how you really feel about someone—but it shows. In your choice of words, your gestures, your attitudes. In fact, over 80 percent of what you communicate is nonverbal. That’s why it’s essential to challenge your outdated beliefs and improve your communication style. Attend workshops or courses that help you do the work. And don’t just show up—participate. Sitting on the sidelines or pretending to listen won’t move the needle.
- Respect Others. Stop making excuses for not supporting the team.
Example: If you struggle to hear during Zoom meetings, turn up the volume on your laptop—it might not be a Zoom issue. If you suspect hearing loss, get tested. Excuses erode trust and disrespect your team.
Another Example: Talking over others when they disagree with your comment or opinion.
- Get Involved. As a leader, stay engaged—especially when your team asks for help or resources. That doesn’t mean micromanaging (unless necessary). Guide your team to take initiative, talk things out, and stay accountable. That’s how trust and results grow.
- Ask for Help. Seeking input strengthens relationships—ignoring others when you need help will weaken the relationships. Many leaders avoid asking for help until they’re forced to. Then, their egos get in the way: “I already tried that,” or “That won’t work.” Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re not capable—it means you’re open to better ideas, new perspectives, and collaborative solutions.
- Honor Your Word. Don’t just talk about what you’ll do—do it. Start small. Example: Concerned about 1:1s with employees? Solution: Schedule monthly 1:1s to start—then increase as needed. Many of you believe you have integrity and do what you say you’ll do. When you do what you say you’ll do, you build trust and credibility.
- Make Win-Win-Win Decisions. Your decisions affect others—even in subtle ways. Poor decisions can quietly derail team progress. To make better choices, hire a coach, ask for input, and listen. Again, listen. That’s how you honor your word and strengthen relationships. Then follow up: Did it work? If not, conduct a “What Worked? / What Didn’t Work?” review to identify what was missing.
© Jeannette Seibly 2024-2025 All Rights Reserved
Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, has guided thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve remarkable success over the past 33 years. Her specialty is delivering innovative solutions for hiring, coaching, and leadership challenges—with excellence and accountability at the core. When was the last time you stopped long enough to really look at the strengths and weaknesses of your working relationships? If you have any concerns, let’s talk and put you on the path toward achieving unprecedented results.