Coaching Removes the Ways We Self Sabotage

Successful leaders and bosses know that having a coach isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. While business professionals believe the do-it-yourself approach works just fine, many learn the hard way it doesn’t work. Doing it yourself is how we self-sabotage our progress, awareness, and ability to move upward.

Many up-and-coming leaders quit, change their goal to reflect what progress they have made, or fall victim to the allure of some shiny object. At that point, the goal of being a leader has been sidelined, dreams diminished, and the vision for success forgotten. This happens more often than leaders realize.

In today’s 2026 workplace—where hybrid teams, AI-driven decisions, rapid change, and increased burnout are the norm—these patterns of self-sabotage are even more costly. Uncovering the ways we self-sabotage is why we need the right coach. Having the right coach allows you to get real about your goals, keeps you focused, and reawakens your commitment to succeed. It’s a critical component to your success as a leader.

11 Self‑Sabotaging Beliefs That Hold Leaders Back

  1. I can do it myself. Unfortunately, many DIYers think they can be their own coach. Listening to yourself is a fool’s game and rarely gets you to where you want to go. In 2026, self-coaching is even harder with constant workplace noise, shifting priorities, and increased pressure to perform.
  2. A good coach needs a certification. Certificate programs can be helpful and provide technical skills. However, the right coach with experience, powerful listening skills, and the ability to customize ideas to your unique situation is far more powerful. That kind of skill can only be learned by a coach with extensive experience.
  3. It’s too expensive. Not necessarily. How much are your career, time, family and financial future worth? Today’s leaders also recognize the cost of burnout, stalled promotions, and poor team relationships—areas where coaching pays for itself.
  4. My company won’t pay for it, so it must not be important. There comes a time when you have to value yourself, your career, and be willing to invest in both to ensure your success. Many companies today expect leaders to take ownership of their own development.
  5. Coaching is only for people who don’t have what it takes. Wrong! Coaching is for anyone and everyone wanting to take the next step up in their career. Every great leader has a coach! Having a confidential sounding board helps you become aware of your blind spots and transform them. Yes, everyone has blind spots … including you!
  6. If you work harder, you will be successful. Working harder is not the answer. Working smarter, not harder, means doing things in a way that is effective and efficient, and gives you the ability to achieve intended results. The right coach will guide you to work smarter—especially important now with AI tools, hybrid teams, and constant change.
  7. I’m doing fine and don’t need a coach to prepare me for the next step. This a very common blind spots for many leaders. Remember, moving up often requires knowing the “unwritten rules and practices.” Today, these rules are even more complex due to remote visibility challenges, shifting alliances, and evolving expectations.
  8. I have friends and family who provide me with lots of advice. Yes, many people do. While they mean well, most friends and family members don’t have the courage to tell you what you really need to hear. And, they lack the experience at your new level. As a result, you miss out on the critical factors required to make better decisions, build stronger teams, and achieve intended results. This is exactly why you need the right coach.
  9. I have too much work to do and cannot take on anything else. If this describes you, coaching should be at the top of your list. Most coaching comes just in time, when you need it and when it can provide the greatest impact. In 2026, leaders who delay getting support often experience burnout or stalled careers and missed opportunities.
  10. I’ve already hit the glass ceiling and no coach can change that. Nonsense! Anyone can be a successful leader with the right coach navigating them forward. Additionally, success today is about more than just technical and financial skills. It requires being forward-thinking, team-oriented, and goal-driven … all areas where the right coach makes a huge difference. Today, relationship intelligence (RQ) and credibility are now essential, in addition to emotional intelligence (EI) and emotional integrity.
  11. My assessment says I’m doing just fine. Most assessments are not focused on job-fit and becoming an effective leader. This is a major form of self‑sabotage. Many leaders rely on personality tests, team‑building tools, or “fun” assessments that have nothing to do with developing leadership. When you use the wrong type of assessment, you get misleading data, overlook real issues, and make decisions based on how people want to be seen rather than how they actually think, behave, and perform on the job. In 2026, with increased complexity, hybrid work, and rapid decision cycles, leaders cannot afford guesswork. Only qualified, validated job‑fit assessments provide the objective data needed to hire, promote, and coach effectively. Only work with coaches that use them.

When you uncover the ways you self‑sabotage, you will see that hiring the right coach is the most critical component for your success. In today’s fast-changing workplace, you cannot afford to rely on outdated beliefs or go it alone. What are you waiting for?

© Jeannette Seibly, 2018–2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.

Your leadership and legacy depend on the decisions you make now. If you’re ready to elevate your influence, strengthen key relationships, and accelerate your career in today’s fast‑moving environment, it’s time to get the support that gets results. Let’s start the conversation today.

When You Step into Leadership, How Do You Handle Your Relationships with Friends?

When you become a leader, it exposes who is genuinely for you and who only supported you when you stayed at their level. Some friends will celebrate you. Others will criticize, distance themselves, or resent your success.

Years ago, my employer offered an education reimbursement program that I took advantage of and got my Master’s Degree. Then, I stepped into stepped into a new leadership role. When I hosted a celebration several friends who attended told me about another friend who wasn’t there. The absentee friend had told everyone, “She doesn’t deserve success since the company paid for the degree.”

That moment made something very clear to me: not everyone adjusts well when you are successful.

Supportive friends don’t compete with you, punish you for succeeding, or demand insider information. They respect boundaries and your new responsibilities. They help you celebrate and get your brag on!

As the new leader, keeping and building relationships is important. It’s a major part of your new job.

With friends, you’ll need to:

  • Shift what you share and talk about
  • Maintain connection outside work
  • Protect confidentiality and ethics
  • Avoid talking about work the way you used to
  • You’ll need to keep supportive friends who stay in your life with the new rules

How to Handle Friends Who Unfriend You (or Quietly Pull Away)

Some so-called friends will resent your promotion, question your worthiness, or feel threatened. There will always be naysayers. Others may feel you’ve changed. While you may deny you’ve changed and believe it’s just a new job title, keep in mind: You will need to grow and transform with your new leadership opportunity … so change is inevitable.

When friends unfriend you:

  • Accept the shift instead of chasing them
  • Don’t defend your promotion or justify your success
  • Don’t internalize their jealousy or insecurity
  • Stay factual and professional if their criticism spills into the workplace

Remember, you did the work. It may be time to get new friends

Friends You May Need to Unfriend

Friends who rely on external accolades and put you at the mercy of others’ opinions are the ones to release. These types of friendships become liabilities when you become a leader, especially when they:

  • Expect favoritism
  • Demand insider information
  • Pressure you to take their side
  • Gossip or undermine your credibility
  • Disagree with company politics and expect you to change it
  • Make inappropriate comments at your expense
  • Violate ethics or ask you to overlook their behavior

Remember, if you support a friend who has violated ethical issues, management will no longer trust you to do the right things. This can be career-killing now and in the future.

Also, when a friend becomes toxic or misaligned with your new responsibilities, you may need to step back or walk away entirely. Clinging to old friendships will cause you to lose authority.

How to Handle Your New Role and Your Friends

Lead with boundaries since you are now “company management.”

  • Don’t share confidential information
  • Don’t play favorites
  • Don’t let old loyalties compromise fairness or achieving the intended results

Have the tough conversations by initiating conversations and stop waiting for your “friend” to do so.

  • Don’t ghost them or ignore them
  • Meet outside work
  • Outline what topics are allowed, then, honor that boundary
  • Keep it personal, not professional
  • Don’t become their coach, instead remain their friend

Don’t be afraid to let go and move on when a “friend:”

  • Resents you
  • Gossips about you
  • Pressures you
  • Undermines you
  • Cannot handle your new authority
  • Abuses your friendship (“She’ll tell me… we’re good friends.”)

Moving on will require new friends. Join professional and trade groups. Meet 1:1 with others since it is a great way to develop and build new relationships. This process will lessen the emotional need to hang on to old friendships that have moved on without you.

Leadership changes relationships. Some friends rise with you. Some fall away. Some you must release to protect your credibility, ethics, and authority.

As you move forward, get the advice and support you need. Hire an executive coach. This is critical because leaders are responsible for building and maintaining relationships. The right coach provides clarity, confidence, and guidance as you navigate new expectations, shift relationships (including friendships), and accept the realities of leadership.

Note: When your friend receives a new job, be sure to:

  • Congratulate your friend when something good happens
  • Not hold a grudge
  • Remember, life is not a competition

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.

If you’re ready to strengthen your leadership and develop and build new and strong relationships with confidence, contact me. Let’s talk about your next steps.

Want to Be a Great Leader? Create Your Successor Now

Being a great leader requires preparing your success for a smooth transition, now! Not later.

However, many leaders fear stepping aside.

  • They wait too long.
  • They allow egos to get in the way.
  • They wait until it’s too late due to mental health issues, physical disability, or death.

In fact, many times they leave the job or company, or bide their time hoping no one will notice there is no successor in place.

The other excuse many current leaders face when selecting a successor, is that many potential future leaders are uncertain if they wish to become future leaders. Often, this is due to lack of preparation: training, development, coaching, and being given opportunities now to learn from mistakes and failures, and successes too.

To effectively prepare your successor requires objective insights, accountability for real behavior changes, and a confidential space to work through real issues.

What Can You Do to Prepare Your Potential Successors?

Create Your Own Future. Too often, if you are hanging on too long, you don’t have a “What’s Next?” planned for yourself. But the truth is, you won’t be in your current position forever. So instead of continuing to talk about your future, make excuses, create issues, and ignore the focused action required to move on, hire an executive coach and make a legacy plan. Now, implement the plan.

Assess Who’s Next. When you have a key employee designated to step up, they may not have the skills and talents to do so at this time. Or, they are a great #2 person but do not have the ability or desire to become the #1 leader to move a business or team forward. While they may say they are interested, now’s the time to discover the truth.

Create an individualized succession plan and use an objective job fit and leadership assessment. This is critical in determining job fit in the new role. Use the assessment to guide your conversations and listen for consistency in their responses. Review their results to see where the gaps are, then provide the tools, resources, and coaching required to win. Objective, external insight is essential for successful successor plans, since internal relationships and politics often prevent honest conversations about readiness.

Hire an Executive Coach Now. Hire an executive coach to guide the future successor(s).  Using an executive coach from outside the company ensures any growth and development issues that might occur and limit the future leader remain confidential. An external coach also provides the accountability required to ensure new behaviors stick, something internal leaders often struggle to enforce without damaging relationships that are often overlooked by the boss, HR, and other insiders.

We all have our challenges. These should not restrict any future leader’s ability to move forward if the person has done the work, is ready, and there are no ethical or other integrity issues in the way. If there are issues, address them now, or move on to another person.

Remember, future leaders need a confidential space to work through fears, mistakes, and real challenges — something they cannot safely do with their mentor, boss, peers, or HR.

Select an Internal Mentor Now. The mentor’s role is to guide the future leader through industry, company, and professional changes, and provide executive sponsorship. Many mentors don’t make great coaches due to time limitations, and lack of effective coaching experience. The other consideration is confidentiality. Having a mentor as a coach can limit job transition or promotion opportunities if the future leader is going through a challenging work situation or difficult period in life. Again, if the person does the work, is ready, and has no ethical or other integrity issues, continue to move forward!

Invest in Training and Development. Have your potential successor attend leadership workshops to develop their interpersonal, emotional intelligence, managerial, and leadership effectiveness. Ensure, along with their coach and mentor, these new skills and awareness are being used appropriately and effectively. As mentioned at the beginning of this article, learning to be a leader is a process, not an event. It takes time, and requires holding them accountable and practicing the right skills.

Provide the Opportunities. Now is an excellent time to get them involved in company teams, critical client challenges, trade and professional associations, and other leadership opportunities. Hold them accountable for results, communication efforts, decisions, and the ability to work well with anyone, anywhere and at any time. While you know you can do it faster (and possibly better), you may have forgotten it’s because of your long-time experience. Allow your successor to develop their own experiences (and stories) while you can provide the benefits of your knowledge and guidance.

What Do You Do When the Person Changes Their Mind? This important question is often ignored. Have a conversation to learn why – it may take more than one. The purpose is to determine where you have made the process too difficult, or the person just isn’t the right one. But do not spend time attempting to talk the person into changing their mind — this rarely works out well for anyone. Move on to another person since you should always have more than one key employee who could become a successor.

©Jeannette Seibly 2024-2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.

Your legacy depends on more than training your successor. It requires preparing them with the insight, accountability, and support they need for success. If you’re ready to build the kind of future required for both yourself and your successor(s),  contact me and we’ll talk through your next steps.

Accountability Is a Leader’s Greatest Weakness

Many companies today are experiencing rapid change. With growth come gaps in leaders’ ability to improve revenues and results. These gaps often stem from leaders relying on easy-to-work-with relationships, likability, or mediocre communication skills as substitutes for delivering measurable outcomes.

While many companies value a current or future leader’s ability to build relationships, communicate effectively, and make good decisions, the reality is that many do not hold these leaders accountable for producing intended results, and developing the skills required to do so. As a result, only 10% of teams are actually producing intended outcomes. This costs companies the retention of top talent and customers. It also puts leaders’ jobs at risk.

In one company, a team missed quarterly goals for six straight quarters—not because of lack of talent, but because no one required follow-through. Once accountability systems were put in place, the team hit their goals over the next two quarters.

What is Accountability? It means honoring commitments, owning the process and the outcome, and ensuring the work gets done as promised. Without accountability, even strong skills and good intentions fail to produce intended results.

How to Improve Accountability

Be Responsible for Clarity of Expectations. Lacking clarity, developing real goals, and taking action can be difficult when a leader or boss fails to check in with progress or diminishes or dismisses new ideas or resources as viable possibilities. When you are clear about what is expected by your boss, company, and/or client, you must be accountable for ensuring progress to achieve it. Clear expectations prevent assumptions, excuses, and reworks—three of the biggest drains on results.

Keep It Simple and On-Track. This is a corollary to expectations. When you make it complicated, constantly change your focus, or chase “shiny objects” that have no direct bearing on the tasks at hand, team members stop. They simply stop doing the work and stop communicating. Get them back in action by staying focused and speaking in a manner others understand and can support. Simple systems such as weekly priorities, short check-ins, and visible scoreboards help teams stay aligned and accountable.

Have Those Tough and Not-So-Easy Conversations. Many times, leaders get fearful when they lack specifics about an employee’s so-so or mediocre performance. Or they fear blowback if the person is well-liked on the team but not highly effective. Not holding team members accountable—and not providing laser-like coaching—takes an otherwise good employee and makes them less effective. Take time. Talk with your executive coach. Ensure what you believe is the problem actually is the problem, and not based on gossip or others’ misperceived beliefs. Avoiding these conversations sends an unintended message: mediocre performance is acceptable.

Become Resilient. Yes, there will be mistakes and failures. Instead of wallowing in them or relying on excuses, get yourself and your team clear by using asking ‘What Worked?’ and ‘What Didn’t Work?’ Then brainstorm solutions for what was missed, overlooked, or ignored. Hold people accountable by having them get back to you by a specific time. If they fail to do so, reach out with a reminder. Resilience, especially when you believe you “shouldn’t have to,” keeps accountability from sliding into blame. And blame is where many leaders unintentionally shut down performance.

Stay Connected. Consistent connection eliminates surprises and is one of the biggest reasons leaders struggle with accountability. Feedback, 1:1 meetings, and scoreboards help keep everyone on track and in action. It starts with you, as the leader, staying in communication with your boss. Also, be accountable to your team. Hold weekly meetings and keep them short and on-point. When you stay connected with your team and team members, they will amaze you.

Hold Yourself Accountable. This can be more difficult than holding your team accountable. Listen and document when you make promises or say you will do something. Follow up and follow through with needed resources. Encourage initiatives. Talk with your executive coach consistently to ensure you’re aware of any potential pitfalls. Your team mirrors your behavior—your accountability sets the standard for theirs.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.

Want to become a stronger leader? Do you want a team that delivers instead of explains? Accountability is the place to start. If you’re ready to strengthen your leadership, improve your listening, and be held accountable, contact me. Let’s talk through your next steps.

Strategies that Decrease Stress for Type A Results Producers

Type A leaders rarely name their emotions, allow themselves to be vulnerable, and believe showing authenticity is risky. When your mindset overrides your stress and frustration, burnout follows. Yes, you get things done, often at a high level, but the cost can land on your team, peers, customers, and the company … while costing you your health and well-being.

Achieve Better Results Without Creating Unnecessary Stress

One small action at a time. Stop pushing, controlling, or manipulating outcomes. Smaller steps may feel slower, but they create healthier, more grounded results for you, your team, and the organization. “Slow is smooth and smooth is fast.” (Navy Seals)

Have tough conversations. Avoidance is a limited mindset. Write out the issue, review it with your executive coach, refine it, practice, and then have the conversation. Leadership requires two-way dialogue for positive results.

Use silence strategically. Not every moment needs noise, talking, or busy-ness. Silence creates space for clarity and better decision-making while reducing your frustrations.

Lead with calm presence. Frenetic energy, especially from a leader, destabilizes people and outcomes. Schedule moments throughout the day to breathe. In the evening, carve out time for yourself and do something you love (watch a movie, read, connect with others).

Rest and nourish your body. A healthy leader creates a healthy culture at work and at home. When you achieve your results — and you will — you’ll be able to enjoy them.

Practice mindfulness. When faced with a difficult challenge, breathe: one technique is to inhale for 10 counts, exhale for 10 counts, and repeat three times. This is a great reset before reacting.

Pause before speaking. This signals respect, helps others feel heard, and keeps you from cutting people off or missing their point of view. Build from others’ ideas and perspectives for stronger results. Listening intentionally reduces your stress, and others too, since they feel heard and valued.

Truly listen. Talking over people, controlling the conversation, or being dismissive erodes trust. Listen fully, build solutions, implement, and check progress frequently to ensure the best outcome.

Self-promotion with balance. Being clear about your accomplishments builds your voice and presence in any room, even when you remain silent. Humble-bragging and over-bragging diminishes credibility.

Acknowledge your people. Praise individuals and the team as you go. “Please” and “thank you” still matter and strengthens relationships.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

IMPORTANT NOTE for Type A Leaders: Contact me to get started with the PXT Select® assessment. This state‑of‑the‑art tool delivers clear insight into how you’re perceived in the workplace, and its leadership report pinpoints your strengths, flags potential challenges, and provides targeted coaching strategies you can put into action immediately to elevate your effectiveness.

Feeling the stress and plowing through it anyway, only makes it worse. Slow down, breathe, listen, and include others working on projects or solutions. Reach out to delve deeper into solutions that will work for you and your team.

The Ego Blind Spots That Derail Your Leadership

Some leaders don’t realize their ego enters the room ten minutes before they do. Their ego may help them win deals, but it quietly destroys trust, credibility, and every relationship required to sustain success.

Every leader (men and women) has an ego. The real question is whether yours is working for you or quietly working against you. Are you dialing up your humility and dialing down your ego? Or do you rely on others to continue bolstering your need to be right, talk over others, and be the center of attention?

The issue is that these individuals often lack genuine self‑confidence, seek constant validation, and give away their power. Early in life, people encouraged their stories; it became their success strategy. Now, as leaders, it has turned into a liability. The deeper truth: they never learned how to build real emotional intelligence, so ego became the substitute.

Many even recognize they talk too much and listen too little, yet instead of getting the help they need, they rely on inauthentic acknowledgments of the problem — as if naming it excuses them from developing real emotional intelligence and emotional integrity.

Do you…

  • Talk too much?
  • Listen too little?
  • Make everything about you?
  • Fail to understand the other person’s point of view?
  • Diminish or dismiss others’ contributions?
  • Cut people off because you think they’re talking too slowly or you already “know” what they’re going to say?
  • Ignore promises made because you don’t remember making them?

These behaviors don’t make you a leader others want to follow … at least not for long. They create turnover, lost sales, stalled careers, and eroded trust. Often, they make you the leader people tolerate until you’re removed from your role.

How to Transform from Egotistical to Influencer

Talking Too Much and Missing the Point. Talking too much, no matter how entertaining your stories are or how high your energy is, derails team meetings, workshops, and collaborative discussions where interaction is expected. It signals that you either don’t fully understand what’s happening or simply don’t care.

Some may even label you a “Chatty Cathy” (men and women), not because you add value, but because you’re a convenient source of gossip.

In sales, a big ego might help you close contracts, but it will never build customer loyalty, employee psychological safety, or sustainable results. People notice the disconnect long before you do. A large ego can make you feel successful right up until the moment it costs you your team, your customers, or your reputation.

Transformational Point: Pause before speaking and ask yourself, “Is this moving the conversation forward or just feeding my ego?”

Listening Too Little and Cutting People Off. Talking over others means you’re not listening, regardless of the excuse you give yourself. The truth is, you don’t actually know what they were going to say since you’re not a mind‑reader. Over time, this creates a psychological safety issue because when it’s time to participate in brainstorming or team meetings, people don’t trust you to honor their voice.

Transformational Point: Practice listening to understand, not to respond. Your influence grows when others feel heard.

Failing to Understand Others. If it’s always been about you and your ego, it’s time to shift. As a leader, it must be about the company, the product or service, the customers, vendors, and employees. You may say the right words, but if your actions don’t match, no one believes you. In sales, this is where customer satisfaction quietly disappears due to promises being made and not followed or remembered.

Transformational Point: Shift from “How do I look?” to “What does this person need from me right now to be successful?” Then, deliver.

Allowing High Sociability to Become a Liability. People with high sociability and “energizer bunny” enthusiasm can be fun … until they’re not. You may have great stories about the people you’ve helped, but there are just as many who feel you didn’t support their goals or vision. That disconnect matters now and, in the future, because people just don’t forget.

Transformational Point: Channel your energy into being present, not being the center of attention. Real connection beats charisma every time.

Lacking Self‑Awareness. Many ego‑driven leaders avoid feedback, skip reflection, and resist taking or using qualified assessments because they fear what they’ll learn. Ironically, this avoidance is what keeps them stuck.

Transformational Point: Build a weekly self‑awareness practice of reflection, feedback, and assessments. Awareness is the antidote to ego.

Working with an executive coach can help you temper the constant need to talk, explain, or entertain. Learning to listen, really listen, takes daily practice. And yes, you’ll still be highly sociable and full of energy. The difference is that now you will be effective, not exhausting, when working with others.

Transformational Point: Commit to one daily behavior change. Small steps that build consistent shifts create lasting influence … that’s mastery and building your influence in an effective way.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.

You don’t have to lose your confidence or energy to become a stronger leader — you simply need to balance how you are using your ego. If you’re ready to strengthen your influence, improve your listening, and build a leadership presence people trust, contact me. Let’s talk through your next steps.

When Employees Refuse to Be Satisfied or Communicate

Some employees, paid or volunteer, refuse to be satisfied. They’re never happy, something is always wrong, and they blame others for their frustrations. The key resolve? Acknowledge you cannot fix what they refuse to own or communicate about. And, if necessary, employment law will determine how and when to let them go.

The Real Issue Often Isn’t Obvious

Many employees, contractors, or volunteers avoid conversations because they lack the skills, confidence, or willingness to talk things out. Leaders avoid tough conversations for the same reasons. When both sides avoid the conversations that need to happen, resentment grows, stories get created, reasons multiply, and the situation spirals into a no‑win cycle for everyone involved.

Leadership isn’t about fixing people. It’s about creating the conditions for clarity, accountability, and growth. But beware, your ego may be doing the talking and thinking. Self‑reflection is required.

When employees are not satisfied, it can show up as:

  • Hiding behind emails and texts instead of talking
  • Reacting without facts
  • Responding emotionally to questions
  • Being triggered by small things
  • Being a victim
  • Needing to be right
  • Thinking everyone is against them

When leaders encounter these behaviors, it’s crucial to act, determine the real issue, and whether or not you can resolve it.

Good Intentions Aren’t Enough

Some employees (W2 or 1099) or volunteers genuinely want to do well, but they’re never satisfied. They’re unhappy, allow their skepticism free rein, blame others, and drain the team. Here’s what must be in place before you decide whether to keep them or let them go.

1. Job Fit. According to multiple studies, over 80 percent of people today are in jobs that don’t fit them. When job fit is off, communication breaks down, performance drops, and dissatisfaction skyrockets. Use a qualified job‑fit assessment to determine whether the person is correctly placed in the right role, and identify any coaching you may have overlooked and any adjustments to their job responsibilities.

In the future, when you hire, promote, or transfer someone, use a strategic job‑fit hiring process. When followed, it will reduce dissatisfaction and poor job fit. (Grab your copy of Hire Amazing Employees. Note: An employment attorney bought copies of Hire Amazing Employees for clients struggling with hiring. All but one improved. The one who didn’t? Never read the book.)

For a volunteer, the same principles apply: Ensure they’re in a role that matches their interests, strengths, and available time. Volunteers often say yes out of goodwill, not fit. When the role doesn’t align with who they are, they become frustrated, disengaged, or overly critical, just like an employee in the wrong job.

Have a simple conversation and deep dive into the real reason they volunteered. This conversation will usually clarify whether they’re in the right place, need to be reassigned to a role that better suits them, or it’s time for them to move on.

2. Training. Once you have the right person in place, onboarding and training must begin immediately, preferably before their first day. The right‑fit person appreciates training.

The wrong‑fit person:

  • Takes coaching personally
  • Fears feedback
  • Loathes training
  • Interprets direction as criticism

This should be a sign, not a surprise, when job fit is missing.

3. Communication Skills. Many people today lack strong communication skills. They rely on electronics, emojis, and avoidance. During their primary education years, they never developed the depth and breadth needed to express ideas, resolve upsets, or talk things out. This leads to misunderstandings, assumptions, and unnecessary drama. Provide ongoing training and lead by example.

4. Tough Conversations. Avoiding tough conversations only deepens resentment. Leaders must be willing to talk things out, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Role-play with your executive coach. Prepare. Get grounded. One well‑prepared conversation can shift everything or reveal that nothing will change.

It’s up to you as the leader to initiate and take responsibility for listening and communicating in a manner they can hear. Beware of using manipulation or being manipulated. This is an opportunity for dissatisfaction to decrease or for the person to find other opportunities.

5. Let Them Go. If you’ve had the conversations and it’s still not working, and the issue is not harassment or discrimination, it may be time to let them go.

If harassment or discrimination is involved, you must address it immediately with your attorney or HR and document everything.

Letting someone go isn’t failure. It’s leadership.

Leadership Requires Clarity and Courage

Leadership is about creating the conditions for clarity, accountability, and growth. When someone refuses to communicate, take responsibility, or participate in solutions, it negatively impacts the entire team. Strong leaders recognize when they’ve done their part and when it’s time to make a decisive, responsible choice for the health of their organization.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.

Review your team this week to identify where job fit, communication gaps, or unresolved issues are creating friction. Then take one decisive step: have the tough conversation, adjust a role, provide training, or reassign or release someone who is not a match. Leadership requires action. Contact me to address difficult concerns and move your team forward.

How to Move You and Your Team Through the Fog of Uncertainty

Many teams today are ineffective. Only about 10% actually achieve intended results. (It’s scary, isn’t it?) Yet many leaders and team members still excuse their ineffectiveness, “We lacked clarity about where to go and how to get there.”

The truth? The teams lacked initiative, resilience, resourcefulness, and the ability to operate in the fog of uncertainty to get to clarity.

Today, we allow ourselves to get stopped by uncertainty (aka fog). Yet there are no guarantees in life or business. Outside‑the‑company factors can impede results, and inside‑the‑company issues, such as silos, factions, and other mischief can do the same. This is how excuses and poor results become the acceptable norm.

But how we relate to uncertainty hurts leadership growth and prevent building a highly effective team.

How to Relate and Navigate Through Fog‑Like Conditions

  • Own your role in the outcome, not the story about why it’s hard.
  • Stay in motion even when the path isn’t fully visible.
  • Take initiative to find solutions and avoid letting issues or situations derail progress.
  • The right team. Select team members who have the interest, willingness, and capacity to do the work, not just what’s listed on the resume.
  • Ask questions. Curiosity and open‑ended questions clarify concerns and uncover blind spots.
  • Hear what people are actually saying, not what you assume they mean. Create psychological safety by listening for learning moments that come from mistakes, miscalculations, or miscommunication … they will spotlight solutions.
  • Keep conversations active so issues don’t grow in the fog of uncertainty.
  • Awaken inner power. Strengthen confidence by working through self‑doubt instead of waiting for certainty. Also, learn to take time and sit with uncertainty in silent reflection.
  • Coachable and responsible. Talk with your executive coach, industry expert, and internal mentor to learn what they and others have done in similar situations. Don’t naysay the people, situation, or process. Remember, these experts are not there to do the work for you.

If you’re leading a team through fog right now, don’t wait for perfect clarity. That’s not leadership; that’s hesitation or avoidance dressed up as caution. Take the next step. Start the conversation. Raise the standard.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience guiding leaders and executives to achieve exceptional results. She delivers practical coaching and innovative solutions for hiring, leadership development, and performance success. Successful leaders have coaches—connect with Jeannette to elevate your results and impact in 2026.

Equip your team with resilience, accountability, and the ability to perform in the face of uncertainty. Help your leaders move through the fog instead of getting lost or stopped by it. If you’re ready to explore what’s getting in the way, let’s talk. Together, we can identify the blind spots and strengthen you and your team’s ability to achieve intended results.

NOTE: A new presentation, Psychological Safety: The Leadership Advantage You Can’t Ignore, is now available. If you’d like to bring this conversation to your business leaders, bosses, or managers, reach out and I’ll share the details.

Are You Growing Your Career Value Through Skill Stacking?

Are you bored with your job? Lack clarity about how to improve your paycheck? Want a promotion that just isn’t happening? Skill stacking gives you a practical way to grow your value without waiting for someone else to hand you the next step.

What is skill stacking?

Skill stacking is when you build a set of skills that fit well together. These skills help you become more valuable and able to handle different tasks at work. Instead of trying to be the very best at one thing, you strategically and intentionally develop and grow a mix of skills that work together and open the door to new opportunities.

Why is this important?

Every legacy is built one skill, one insight, and one decision at a time. Most people don’t realize that the careers they admire, and the confidence they wish they had, are often the result of something simple and accessible: stacking skills over time.

When Daniel became a team leader, he wasn’t the most experienced person in the room. But he started stacking small skills that made a big difference. He learned how to run an effective meeting. Then he practiced giving feedback that people could actually use. Later, he took a short course on reading financial reports so he could understand how his team’s work affected the company.

None of these skills made him a superstar overnight. But together, they changed how people saw him. His team trusted him more. His decisions improved. Other departments began asking for his input because he understood the bigger picture.

Over time, Daniel’s stacked skills shaped his leadership style, and his legacy. He didn’t become a great leader because of one big moment. He became one by building skills that worked together and made a lasting impact.

Remember, skill stacking is about strategically and intentionally growing your value so your work, your impact, and your future reflect the legacy you want to leave.

4 Ways to Start Stacking Skills That Make You a More Valuable Leader

Learn the basics. Knowing how to place numbers in the right boxes doesn’t mean you know if they’re accurate or how they were created. Learn! Understanding the fundamentals gives you the confidence to ask better questions, catch mistakes, and see patterns others miss.

Expand your current skills beyond what you currently do. You may be able to do your job well, but do you understand what happens next, beyond the catchphrases you were taught to say? Understanding the upstream and downstream impact of your work helps you anticipate needs, solve problems earlier, and communicate more effectively with other departments.

Develop the depth and breadth of job responsibilities. Often, this requires meeting with industry experts and company mentors. The more you learn about your industry and profession, and learn how to use that knowledge well, the more valuable you become. Depth gives you credibility. Breadth gives you adaptability. Together, they shape a professional identity that stands out.

Engage in curiosity and ask open-ended questions. Take time to learn more from customers, coworkers, and others about your job or profession … and theirs too. This information can create new insights into how to do your job so that your company and its clients benefit. Along the way, you become a stronger employee and leader. Curiosity naturally expands your understanding, relationships, and influence.

Skill stacking is one of the simplest ways to grow your value without waiting for permission or a promotion. Each new layer of understanding, mastering the basics, expanding your role, deepening industry knowledge, and asking better questions, builds a stronger, more adaptable you.

As these steps compound, your professional identity stands out, your opportunities expand, and your confidence grows. Skill stacking isn’t about becoming everything to everyone; it’s about strategically and intentionally building strengths that make you unmistakably valuable to employers and clients.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Legacies aren’t built at the finish line; they’re built in the skills you sharpen every day. Stack them with purpose. Strengthen one, stretch another, and stay curious. Ready to grow your impact? Contact me.

Leaders, Your Results Suffer When People Feel Excluded

Even small acts of exclusion, like taking sides or avoiding one another, can ripple outward, but they are preventable. Years ago, I worked with a manager I admired. Whenever her employees didn’t get along, she’d seat them next to one another. Eventually, they learned how to work well together. This simple tactic prevented people from taking sides and reduced the likelihood of coworkers feeling excluded now and in the future. She understood that effective collaboration mattered to the entire company and its customers.

Today’s leaders face far more complex forms of exclusion, and the impact can be much greater than two people who don’t get along. When employees feel excluded, they become isolated, less able to do their jobs well, and more disengaged.

People knowingly and unknowingly create silos, factions, and cliques that gossip, limit productivity, and make it difficult to achieve quality results because not everyone is invited or included. These groups quietly undermine collaboration, slow down decisions, and create costly barriers.

The costs show up in delayed customer responses, rework caused by withheld information, turnover ripple effects, and even legal exposure when patterns of exclusion go unaddressed (e.g., harassment, discrimination).

When people don’t feel invited to contribute or are prevented from participating, collaboration breaks down, productivity drops, and your best talent quietly disengages.

Leaders unintentionally enable exclusion when they ignore subtle behaviors, reward “insider” groups, or allow cliques to dominate conversations or decisions. Leadership awareness requires noticing these patterns early and addressing them directly.

What Can You Do as a Leader?

Hold Weekly Team Meetings. Address: What’s been working? What do you need help with? Share updates on new issues or concerns. Acknowledge successes. These conversations help people feel included and strengthen teamwork.

Develop Facilitation Skills. Develop strong facilitation skills for on-site, hybrid, and remote meetings to ensure all voices are heard and no one feels sidelined.

Honor Each Person’s Ideas. Some ideas may evoke laughter or scrutiny, but leaders must recognize when reactions create alienation. Acknowledge all ideas and ensure everyone feels psychologically safe to contribute.

Provide Frequent Feedback. Offer insights to people who are causing logjams or difficulties for customers or coworkers. Clear feedback helps prevent behaviors that exclude others from participating fully.

Ask the Employee. When creating a project or event, invite people directly and let them decide yes or no. Too often, leaders assume someone doesn’t want to participate because they’ve declined in the past or because someone else is quietly excluding them.

Counsel Future Leaders About the Cost of Exclusion. Instead of communicating, people of all ages will exclude others as a power play, to show they’re upset, or simply because they don’t like someone. In effective teams and profitable companies, future leaders must work well with anyone, anytime, and anywhere to ensure no one is left out.

Become Aware of the Cost, Legalities, and Psychological Safety. Ignoring people being or feeling excluded is expensive. When good people leave, the time, money, and energy invested in them walk out the door … and they are often followed by other employees and customers.

Building Strong Team Results. Be intentional about team-building activities. Not everyone plays golf, wants to ride a horse, or can climb a wall. These activities naturally exclude people. Instead, focus on communication and getting to know one another as people. Tools like PXT Select® help teams understand strengths and communication styles, making inclusion easier and more natural. Note: PXT Select also improves job fit. Miscommunication and misinformation often come from people who are not fully engaged in their roles.

When leaders address exclusion early, they strengthen trust, improve results, and create workplaces where people want to stay and contribute.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience guiding leaders and executives to achieve exceptional results. She delivers practical coaching and innovative solutions for hiring, leadership development, and performance success. Successful leaders have coaches—connect with Jeannette to elevate your results and impact in 2026.

As a leader, ensuring everyone on your team feels included is essential to serving the company and its clients. Small groups can quietly undermine collaboration, slow down decisions, and create costly barriers. If you’re seeing signs of exclusion and are unsure how to address them, contact me for a confidential conversation so we can identify the blind spots and strengthen your team’s ability to work well together.

NOTE: A new presentation, Psychological Safety: The Leadership Advantage, is one you cannot ignore. Contact me for details on presenting this information to your business leaders, bosses, and managers.