Some employees, paid or volunteer, refuse to be satisfied. They’re never happy, something is always wrong, and they blame others for their frustrations. The key resolve? Acknowledge you cannot fix what they refuse to own or communicate about. And, if necessary, employment law will determine how and when to let them go.
The Real Issue Often Isn’t Obvious
Many employees, contractors, or volunteers avoid conversations because they lack the skills, confidence, or willingness to talk things out. Leaders avoid tough conversations for the same reasons. When both sides avoid the conversations that need to happen, resentment grows, stories get created, reasons multiply, and the situation spirals into a no‑win cycle for everyone involved.
Leadership isn’t about fixing people. It’s about creating the conditions for clarity, accountability, and growth. But beware, your ego may be doing the talking and thinking. Self‑reflection is required.
When employees are not satisfied, it can show up as:
- Hiding behind emails and texts instead of talking
- Reacting without facts
- Responding emotionally to questions
- Being triggered by small things
- Being a victim
- Needing to be right
- Thinking everyone is against them
When leaders encounter these behaviors, it’s crucial to act, determine the real issue, and whether or not you can resolve it.
Good Intentions Aren’t Enough
Some employees (W2 or 1099) or volunteers genuinely want to do well, but they’re never satisfied. They’re unhappy, allow their skepticism free rein, blame others, and drain the team. Here’s what must be in place before you decide whether to keep them or let them go.
1. Job Fit. According to multiple studies, over 80 percent of people today are in jobs that don’t fit them. When job fit is off, communication breaks down, performance drops, and dissatisfaction skyrockets. Use a qualified job‑fit assessment to determine whether the person is correctly placed in the right role, and identify any coaching you may have overlooked and any adjustments to their job responsibilities.
In the future, when you hire, promote, or transfer someone, use a strategic job‑fit hiring process. When followed, it will reduce dissatisfaction and poor job fit. (Grab your copy of Hire Amazing Employees. Note: An employment attorney bought copies of Hire Amazing Employees for clients struggling with hiring. All but one improved. The one who didn’t? Never read the book.)
For a volunteer, the same principles apply: Ensure they’re in a role that matches their interests, strengths, and available time. Volunteers often say yes out of goodwill, not fit. When the role doesn’t align with who they are, they become frustrated, disengaged, or overly critical, just like an employee in the wrong job.
Have a simple conversation and deep dive into the real reason they volunteered. This conversation will usually clarify whether they’re in the right place, need to be reassigned to a role that better suits them, or it’s time for them to move on.
2. Training. Once you have the right person in place, onboarding and training must begin immediately, preferably before their first day. The right‑fit person appreciates training.
The wrong‑fit person:
- Takes coaching personally
- Fears feedback
- Loathes training
- Interprets direction as criticism
This should be a sign, not a surprise, when job fit is missing.
3. Communication Skills. Many people today lack strong communication skills. They rely on electronics, emojis, and avoidance. During their primary education years, they never developed the depth and breadth needed to express ideas, resolve upsets, or talk things out. This leads to misunderstandings, assumptions, and unnecessary drama. Provide ongoing training and lead by example.
4. Tough Conversations. Avoiding tough conversations only deepens resentment. Leaders must be willing to talk things out, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Role-play with your executive coach. Prepare. Get grounded. One well‑prepared conversation can shift everything or reveal that nothing will change.
It’s up to you as the leader to initiate and take responsibility for listening and communicating in a manner they can hear. Beware of using manipulation or being manipulated. This is an opportunity for dissatisfaction to decrease or for the person to find other opportunities.
5. Let Them Go. If you’ve had the conversations and it’s still not working, and the issue is not harassment or discrimination, it may be time to let them go.
If harassment or discrimination is involved, you must address it immediately with your attorney or HR and document everything.
Letting someone go isn’t failure. It’s leadership.
Leadership Requires Clarity and Courage
Leadership is about creating the conditions for clarity, accountability, and growth. When someone refuses to communicate, take responsibility, or participate in solutions, it negatively impacts the entire team. Strong leaders recognize when they’ve done their part and when it’s time to make a decisive, responsible choice for the health of their organization.
© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved
Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author with over 33 years of experience guiding people to empower themselves, transforming workplaces into places that work, and shaping leaders who truly lead.
Review your team this week to identify where job fit, communication gaps, or unresolved issues are creating friction. Then take one decisive step: have the tough conversation, adjust a role, provide training, or reassign or release someone who is not a match. Leadership requires action. Contact me to address difficult concerns and move your team forward.
This is an excellent presentation on several fronts. it goes to the heart of comprehensive leadership by virtue of its focus on process.
It is my experience that when an employee or former employee returns to the workplace to exact their vengeance it is typically over a period of justification and rationalization.
Using the above as a risk factor analysis to consider Jeannette Seibly’s key points behind the leader’s role underscores the importance of proactive leader involvement in making appropriate decisions.
While intended to promote a modern, empowering, and introspective leadership style, the statement—”Leadership isn’t about fixing people. It’s about creating the conditions for clarity, accountability, and growth. But beware, your ego may be doing the talking and thinking. Self‑reflection is required”—can contribute to misunderstanding and conflict if misinterpreted or poorly implemented. It often leads to conflict by encouraging a passive approach to direct problems, allowing ego to masquerade as “high-level thinking,” and causing leaders to focus on internal reflection rather than external impact.
Here is how this statement contributes to misunderstanding and conflict:
1. “Leadership isn’t about fixing people”
The Misunderstanding: Leaders may interpret this as a mandate to avoid difficult conversations, ignoring performance issues or behavioral problems to avoid appearing “controlling.”
The Conflict: Avoiding hard conversations doesn’t protect a team; it creates confusion, resentment, and a vacuum where small issues grow into major conflicts. It allows poor performance to damage the morale of high performers.
The Risk: It can feel to employees like “benign neglect” rather than empowerment, leading them to feel unsupported when they actually need guidance or intervention.