A couple of months ago I worked with a business owner, Joyce. Joyce shared she’d had a bad year and hated managing people. A previous coach had given Joyce a standard answer, “Learn to become a manager of people to grow your business.” Joyce tried but her business suffered. She believed something was wrong with her and was stuck not knowing what to do next.
After reviewing her job fit assessment, Joyce learned she was fine! She just didn’t have the interest in developing the skills to manage people. I let her know that it was OK to stop thinking she had to manage people to grow her business! (This encouraged Joyce to stop beating herself up.)
Now Joyce is back selling and restructuring her business model for success. She’s unstuck and happy again!
This often happens when you use a “standard cookie-cutter approach” instead of getting real about why you are stuck!
Do remember the cartoon, Wylie Coyote, and the number of times he hit the wall and slid down? Do you remember he’d get back up and hit that same wall again, over and over?
In real life, many of us are like that. We get stuck and stay stuck for too long out of fear there’s something wrong with us. Or, sometimes worse, listen to the wrong advice. And, sometimes rely on our feelings and become emotionally attached about the right way to go.
It doesn’t need to be that way! Everyone gets stuck! It’s what you do to get unstuck that matters!
5 Ignored Truths to Get You Unstuck!
1. The #1 Culprit: The Grass is Greener Syndrome. When you compare your life, jobs, and other factors to others, you can get jealous. You are stuck believing life will be better if you have what they have! But the reality is that the grass isn’t greener someplace else. It’s just different. In time, if you do leap to a new job, home, or relationship before you are ready, you’ll experience the same “stuckness” all over again! The key is to look inward! Use meditation, work with an experienced coach, and be willing to do the right work to find a new pathway for your success.
Years ago, I worked with a CPA, Darla. She’d been a great employee but over the past 6 months adopted a negative attitude. After we talked through her job fit results (she was a good fit), I asked, “What’s the problem?” Darla’s answer, “I want to travel.” I replied, “Then, aren’t you in a great job that can allow you to do that! Your heavy workload is during the 1st quarter of the year. After that, you can schedule time for travel!” She agreed, shifted her mindset, and became a good employee again!
2. The #2 Culprit. Poor Job Fit. Over 70% of people are in jobs that don’t fit them. (Gallup) Too many people have fallen into the trap of believing they can be successful in any job they want. In an ideal world, this might be true. But we don’t live there! We get stuck thinking we can be our own boss or get rich selling insurance (two of thousands of examples), instead, we fail! Here’s why: You don’t fit the thinking style, core behaviors, and occupational interests for success in those occupations. Use a qualified job assessment to objectively provide real data. It’ll tell you “why” you’re stuck. Then, talk it through with your coach before talking with your boss to make appropriate job changes.
3. A corollary to #2 … Expand Job Responsibilities. CAUTION: this is NOT about doing more work! Busy work can create boredom, frustration, and emptiness! It’s about taking on new responsibilities that expand your skills and engage you in your job. Develop your “brag statements” before pitching to your boss the need for job changes.
4. Get Real and Stop the Trial & Error. Honestly, it’s exhausting. Listen DIYers! Yes, I know. You think you have it all handled. But the reality is, if you stay stuck or keep getting stuck in the same place, you need to expand your perspective and change up your game plan. The most effective way to shift this is to work with a real and experienced coach. Stop relying on friends who tell you what you want to hear!
David, a former executive, found himself fired from his job of 15 years. He spent the next 5 years trying out different jobs, including buying a franchise. Exhausted from his failures and financially struggling, he finally reached out to his coach (me) to answer the question, “Why?”. Now, he is happy and working in a 6-figure job he loves.
5. You May Have Hit Your Ceiling. I have found there are times when people “max out.” It’s time to sell the business, work in a new company, retire, transfer to a new job, and/or create a new goal for their life. But before jumping to something new, talk it out with your coach. Uncover the real underlying issue. Remember, there is a difference between boredom and being antsy to move on before you’re ready.
©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved
Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.
A Note about Getting Unstuck and Thinking Something is Wrong with You from Jeannette. Too often we look at others, become jealous, and then, make changes that don’t work for us. We get “stuck.” When we allow ourselves to stay stuck in boredom, frustration, and emptiness, our emotional attachments sabotage our career and life choices. There’s a lot of hyperbole out there! Get real by working with a real coach to discover why you are stuck. This is the best time to move forward. Contact me to start a confidential conversation and feel energized again.