How Do You Improve Being Coachable, Especially When You Don’t Want To?

“Why have a coach? Because a coach has you do what you don’t want to do so you can become amazingly successful!” Jeannette Seibly

Note: This is a reprint of the #1 article for 2022.

We’ve all been coachable and uncoachable. It’s part of being human.

Being coachable: You listen for feedback from people regardless of your feelings about them.

Being uncoachable and challenging to work with: You refuse to listen to others even when they are great results-producers.

Why are you uncoachable? It could be your:

  • Readiness to hear feedback or advice
  • Humiliation of what occurred (e.g., poorly done presentation)
  • Low self-esteem or ego
  • Workplace environment views coaching negatively
  • Need to do it your way or on your own

Regardless of your reasoning, developing your listening skills and being coachable is critical.

The bottom line is that every successful leader, boss, and high-performance person has a coach! Think of the NBA, business leaders, and sales teams with excellent sales results. They know that while the advice and feedback may not be delivered flawlessly to their liking, it’s important to be coachable. Setting aside their ego avoids costly errors, team conflict, and poor customer results.

How Do You Improve Being Coachable and Achieve the Success You Really Want?

Be Present and Make the Time. “Is it an appropriate time to talk?” For example, bosses may call you when your kids demand your attention, or you’re in a department store. When this happens, ask, “Can I call you back in ½ hour when I can hear you?” Then, make the call in ½ an hour! Why? When distracted, you cannot present what is being said and will overlook critical feedback details.

Listen to Feedback About You. Listen carefully when the feedback originates from a team member, customer, or executive. There is an important lesson to learn here. To be coachable, listen without defending your actions, words, or thoughts about the person who complained. Instead, a couple of questions to ask: “Can you be more specific?” and “What would you recommend that I do?”

Transform Your Mindset When You Make Mistakes. There will be days you don’t do your best, create team conflict, or say the wrong thing. When someone complains, your ego will feel the need to defend your actions and blame others for the results. Breathe! Apologize! Stick with the facts, not your feelings about the person, situation, or other factors. Instead, ask, “What can I specifically do to change the outcome?” Remember, your future career options require taking responsibility and being coachable!

Review All Project Results Before, During, and After. Too often, you’re open and ready to hear feedback when a project is working. But when a project has or is about to fail, you become defensive, stop listening, and turn it into a debate. Remember, there is always room for improvement. In preparation for these crucial conversations, complete this exercise: “What Worked?/What Didn’t Work?”

Seek Out Coaching When You Need Clarity. There is a myth that you need to know the answer before asking for help. It’s not true! Instead, be open to listening to the feedback and be coachable. For example, ask, “Do you have 5 minutes? I’m unclear on what I need to do to make this project work?” Share the specifics about the goal and actions taken. Always say, “Thank you.” Even when you don’t like their answers be coachable. It could make the difference between successful results and failure.

Listen for the Gold … especially when the little voice in your head is chirping, “I don’t want or need to hear it.” It takes practice to master the skill of being coachable. In turn, you will accelerate your leadership development, relationships, and business results.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A Note from Jeannette about being coachable: Successful leaders have coaches. Being coachable isn’t hard if you’re open to feedback and asking for help. Start with your coach to resolve a challenging situation or relationship today. These issues rarely disappear on their own! Do you feel stuck? Not clear what the real problem is? You’re not alone. Contact me for a confidential conversation.

When was the last time you got honest about your leadership issues? Many employees today do not trust their bosses and leaders. Many leaders believe they already understand their blind spots. But they fail to get objective data to help them do the right things correctly. It’s essential to get actual objective data to improve your leadership. Click here for details.

Easy Ways to Combat Energy Zappers

“When you fail to honor your commitments to yourself and others, your energy gets zapped daily.” Jeannette Seibly

What is our #1 energy zapper? Our excuses! Stress, boredom, toxic people, lack of sleep, too much sugar, and caffeine rank right up there as energy zappers too! And these will occur regularly when not managed.

But procrastination and the excuses we mentally create to justify it win as #1. It’s incredible how much time we waste looking for excuses, feeding our procrastination, and seeking out “why” we don’t want to get it done. Ironically, it takes more energy to avoid doing the task or job than it does to get the work done.

When you have a job, task, or client need, the bottom line is that you want to get into focused action as quickly as possible. If you don’t, you will experience diminished self-confidence and self-worth. And you will find future career opportunities, and sales get zapped too.

6 Strategies to Stop Energy Zappers

Schedule. Use an online or hand-written calendar, scheduler, and/or planner. Schedule the time needed to get the task done. Now, honor it as an appointment with a VIP (a very important person).  

I remember using an online planner to get my first book written and published. Every week I would receive a notification of activities for the week. And I honored it! This process eliminated the excuses I usually created for not getting my book written and published sooner.

Do or Delegate. Just because you don’t want to do it doesn’t mean others won’t welcome the opportunity. Don’t be afraid to delegate the task or job to someone who would welcome it. Remember, they won’t do it the same way you would … but they often do it better because they enjoy the work!

Brandon hated accounting. But as an entrepreneur knew, it was essential to have up-to-date numbers. So, he set aside his excuses and hired a bookkeeper who completed the weekly work within a couple of hours. As a result, Brandon now speaks intelligently with banks, his coach, and his team about where they need to focus their attention and be profitable.

Set Aside 20 minutes. If you’re still finding or looking for excuses, STOP! Set a timer for 20 minutes and focus on doing the task during that time and see how far you progress. If you’re ready to do more at the end of the 20 minutes, go for it!

One sales rep avoided making his calls and following up with potential customers. His excuse was, “They don’t want to buy from me anyway.” When he worked with his sales manager and coach, he learned how to use those 20 minutes to follow up and follow-through. His sales improved dramatically.

Hire a Coach and Find an Accountability Partner. Find someone to be your cheerleader. This person will keep you in action. And guide you through complex situations and/or relationships that can also be energy zappers.

Write It Out, Walk It Out, and Talk It Out. These three activities will help you overcome the normal energy zappers of day-to-day stress, boredom, and toxic people.

© Jeannette L. Seibly, 2010-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. During the past 29 years, she has become an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, and keynote speaker. Have trouble getting into focused action and feeling energized to get your job done and goals completed? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Note from Jeannette about energy zappers. Honoring our commitments has become more critical today than ever. Keeping your commitments make you a top talent that your customers enjoy working with. Unfortunately, too many people fail to understand the impact of not keeping their commitments. Contact me today to talk confidentially about your energy zappers.

Being a top influencer means honoring your word and getting the job done in a high-quality and timely manner. So, grab your FREE copy of Eight Tips to Increase Your Ability to Influence.

 

Do You Have the Leadership Wisdom to Influence Others?

“Your ability to influence others requires not taking yourself too seriously.” Jeannette Seibly

Often, as leaders, we take ourselves too seriously and lose our ability to influence others. Then, our results suffer, and so do our customers, team members, and bottom line.

How do you know when you’re taking yourself too seriously? When you …

  • Fail to build on ideas and create win-win-win outcomes.
  • Openly disparage others that disagree with you.
  • Exclude people with broader experience instead of learning from them.
  • Defend your limited experience in an attempt to feel better about yourself.

… you are taking yourself too seriously.

Instead, can you …

  • Discuss others’ opinions without being defensive?
  • Take an idea or concept and build it into a win-win-win outcome?
  • Laugh at yourself?
  • See the bigger picture and reframe it into bite-size pieces to get everyone on the same page?
  • Make decisions that balance both the facts and the human interests?

If you answered yes to these questions, good for you! You are on the right track as a leader and influencer. And you’re not taking yourself too seriously.

However, if you answered no to any of these questions, these are areas of your leadership style that can negatively impact your ability to influence others and need development.

Remember, influencing others is essential to effective leadership … not our technical know-how.

4 Key Ways to Influence Others and Achieve Intended Results

When you stop taking yourself too seriously, we create a workplace culture focusing on results, relationships, and meeting customers’ needs. The following four key ways to influence others are critical to that success.

Practice Persuasive Listening. The secret to becoming an influencer is to listen more – talk less! When listening, you must silence your internal mental chatterbox and refrain from thinking about your next response while others are talking. Effective and persuasive listening is one of the top leadership skills required to guide new solutions that might not be readily apparent.

Be Open to Differing Opinions. The fastest way to lose your ability to influence others is when you become defensive, belittle others, or take a stand against others’ ideas. To be an influential leader, put aside your ego, listen, and ask questions or you’ll miss important details required for seamless execution.

Be a Team Player. Many leaders don’t make good team players. To be a great leader and influencer, you must be a great team player! Otherwise, you lose the ability to influence others and the outcomes of any project. Ask how you can help. Roll up your sleeves and get involved. When others make suggestions, you don’t understand or agree with, say, “Interesting. I don’t see how that would work. Can you walk me through the details?” Now listen and learn.

Appreciate Each and Every Team Member. Many leaders have team members they don’t like or don’t value. They allow their personal feelings and egos to get in the way. If you wish to influence others, you must learn to appreciate others and their contributions. Be genuine. Say to your team members: “I appreciate you.” “Great ideas!” “I look forward to working with you!” And, mean what you say!

©Jeannette L. Seibly, 2011-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about being a leader with the skills to influence others: Listening, developing ideas with your team, and acknowledging others are marks of a leader that positively influences others. Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Your blind spots get in the way of achieving the results you want. Improve your ability to influence others by clicking here.  

Stop Quiet Quitting and Create Solutions

“Boredom results from not stretching beyond your current skills.” Jeannette Seibly

According to Fortune, 82% of GenZs and Millennials are quietly quitting. When I shared this shocking stat with a friend, she talked about a young family member ignored by her bosses! The GenZer would like to take on more challenging work and has often asked for more opportunities. But each time, she continues to be dismissed. So, she quietly quit her job.

As a member of any generation, you can be part of the problem or part of the solution, whether you’re the boss or employee. When employees of all ages feel bored, not challenged, or experience long-term job dissatisfaction, it creates quiet quitting! Remember, problems always have solutions. Left unaddressed, quiet quitting can sabotage your profitability and results too.

Bosses, remember, GenZs and Millennials are our future. Now is the time to train, develop, and coach them to create good work and results-producing skills … not discourage them further.

Two Points of View to Prevent Quiet Quitting

1. First, learn about career blind spots.

Boss: Create a strategic selection system to collect objective, valid, and reliable data for your hiring, job transfers, and promotions, and rehire decisions.

Employee: While you chose your profession for various reasons, you’re suffering because the job doesn’t fit you! Before you keep job hopping, discover your blind spots and focus on job fit. Talk with an executive coach. It’ll save you from career disillusionment and giving up on yourself or pursuing jobs that don’t fit you.

2. Do your homework.

Boss: Stop relying on the interview as your primary source during the hiring process. Using a strategic selection system will improve collecting objective, valid, and reliable data.

Employee: Before taking a job, conduct your due diligence by asking questions of the interviewers and your professional network. Talk about training, education reimbursement, and other opportunities available to grow that are important to you. Remember, you will have many career options during your lifetime … it’s your responsibility to build on these and not blame your employer for your lack of success.

3. Create Depth of Knowledge.

Boss: Many employees hate repetitive work or being micromanaged. Look for opportunities to allow them to make mistakes and learn.

Employee: Ask for opportunities to dig deeper into accounting, human resources, marketing, etc. Start with learning the basics (e.g., math, accounting, sales, hiring and assessment legalities). The knowledge and ability to use this information correctly can promote you further faster.

4. Create a Breadth of Awareness.

Boss: Provide new opportunities for upskilling, reskilling, and training and development as part of your team members’ career path.

Employee: Take an active role in interdepartmental teams addressing company-wide issues. Listen, ask questions, and learn. This helps you develop and use your knowledge and skills to positively impact the company and its clients.

5. Stay Current.

Boss: Provide weekly department meetings and monthly 1:1 sessions. Discuss what’s working, what’s missing, and the resources needed. Don’t forget to include coaching on taking initiative and being resourceful.

Employee: It’s easy to get bored. But actually, it’s easier to make an effort to learn more and expand your knowledge about your current job. It’s up to you to take the initiative!

6. Attend Professional Association and/or Trade Meetings.

Boss: Provide budget dollars and opportunities for employees to attend these events.

Employee: Don’t be shy. Get out there to meet and greet others. Ask and listen to current and future issues in the industry you work in … or wish to work in.

7. Stop Hoping for Job Satisfaction and Create It.

Boss: It’s up to you to provide appropriate initiatives or challenges for each employee to enhance their job satisfaction.

Employee: Hope is not a strategy. Grab your “Brag” book and complete the 5 easy steps. Now, share your brags with your boss and create action steps for what’s next in developing your career path. Yes, you need to take an active part! PS: Use your brags during Performance Appraisals and work reviews too.

8. Keep Learning!

Boss: Provide budget dollars for ongoing training and development. Include online and onsite workshops. Remember, you’re creating the next generation of leaders!

Employee: Your brain loves to learn. Even if you have a degree or trade certification, take advantage of company training and workshops. Primarily focus on skills required for career growth:  emotional intelligence, communication, project management, and leadership. (Yes, even before you need them.) Don’t forget critical, often overlooked education: financial planning, money management, technical certificates (for non-technical people), etc.

9. Hire a Coach!

Boss and Employee: Find the money. Hire the coach. Remember, successful people of all ages have coaches.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about how to create solutions for quiet quitters: The challenge is that all employees need to take the initiative to develop their technical and other skills to have job satisfaction. As the boss, it’s your responsibility to get into action to guide the development of these needed skills. Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Quiet quitters often have unrecognized blind spots that get in the way of job satisfaction. It’s essential for you to uncover them now, before you quit or are transferred or promoted to new positions (remember the Confucius quote: “Where ever you go, go with all your heart.”):  https://bit.ly/BeEffectiveLeader

How to Use Failure to Grow Your Success and Opportunities

“Failure can lead to new successes and opportunities … are you ready?” Jeannette Seibly

Many leaders and bosses fear failure. Why? They want to look good in the eyes of their team, boss, and customers and be well-liked. The problem is that when leaders fear failure, they can become locked in a myopic point-of-view of what can be accomplished and how it should be done. This limits their successes and opportunities. Another result of being fearful is that team members and customers leave.

How to Attract New Career Success and Opportunities

Rock the Boat. Rocking the boat doesn’t mean someone or something has to go overboard! Instead, it means stretching outside your everyday thinking and including your team during this process. It strengthens everyone’s ability to brainstorm, use critical thinking, and disrupt the common limitations that hurt results. The key is to rock the boat without negatively impacting others.

When You Make a Mistake, Own it. What did you learn? Use “What Worked? / What Didn’t Work?”  individually and with the team to develop clarity. Then, share with your boss and customer.

Apologize. This reduces defensiveness when a mistake has been made. Remember, you must address the “elephant in the roombefore you can have a straight conversation and make a positive difference. For example, “I’m sorry this project went over budget. Here are the facts about why it happened and what I/we learned.”

Be Proactive, Not Reactive. Mistakes and failures are often avoidable when you are “present” in conversations. Learn to listen with an open mind. Then, ask questions for clarification about the impact new ideas could have on systems, people, and the bottom line. Be a guide for your team to be resourceful, resilient, and flexible when addressing change.

Hire the Right Team. You cannot achieve success alone. Let me repeat that you cannot achieve success alone. And hiring the wrong person for your team is the fastest way to fail! So instead, hire the right team the first time by using a qualified job fit assessment as 1/3 of your selection process. Included will be a coaching guide to develop your team and you and show you how to improve results now and in the future.

Uncover Your Blind Spots. Every leader and team has them. Your ability to recognize and work through them makes the difference between success, so-so results, or failure. Use a qualified job fit assessment and executive coach to move forward faster and with clarity.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about using failure to grow your career success and opportunities: Many leaders and bosses fear failure. They want to look good and be well-liked. The problem is that they become locked in a myopic point-of-view of what can be accomplished and how it should be done. This fear hurts career growth and opportunities for new projects. Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Leaders need to stretch themselves beyond their perceived limitations for professional growth. It starts with distinguishing your blind spots: https://bit.ly/BeEffectiveLeader

When Coaching Is Required to Keep Your Job

“Smart leaders and bosses hire the right coach before losing top talent and customers.” Jeannette Seibly

As a leader (boss, manager, individual contributor), have you:

  • Had a meltdown when situations didn’t go your way?
  • Used microaggressions to get others’ attention when not feeling heard?
  • Refused to listen to ideas and solutions you didn’t want to hear?
  • Had a tantrum when you lost a client, or the results were less than stellar?
  • Arrived at meetings late and disrupted the discussion with your own agenda?
  • Yelled at your boss when frustrated?

If you answered “yes” to even one of these questions, it’s time to get real and hire a coach to keep your job! Whether you know it or not, your career is now on a limited timetable, and you cannot succeed alone without the right help.

Improve Your Leadership Through a Variety of Coaching Opportunities

Hire the Right Coach. Start by hiring the right executive coach. Not all coaches are created equal or can turn leaders or bosses around. The right coach will guide you through difficult situations and sticky (often political) relationships to achieve your plan and goals while being a resource.

Discover Your Blind Spots and Ensure Job Fit. An essential part of your development and plan is to use qualified assessments that provide true clarity. Use a qualified job fit assessment for an objective leadership report. Also, include a 360-degree feedback assessment. Beware! Don’t get duped by the cheap assessments. These are notorious for not providing objective and valid data. Now, work with your executive coach to create your plan and goals. Remember, implement only one change at a time.

Emotional Intelligence Development. Another vital part of your plan is participating in workshops and programs designed to help you learn how to work with and through others to achieve intended results … including improving your communication skills. Also, consider talking with a therapist to uncover unresolved concerns or issues from your past.

Select an Industry Mentor. Whether or not it’s part of your plan, find an industry mentor. The right one expands your awareness of what is required in business today. Value these meetings by showing up on time, being ready to listen, and learning. But remember … industry mentors are not coaches! So, don’t ditch the coach! Instead, talk with your coach about insights and build them into your long-term plan. (Yes, plan to work with your coach for at least six months to ensure your changes are working!)

Let Go of Emotional Attachments. Last but not least, set aside your ego during the process and be open to making meaningful changes. This can be difficult. But consider the alternative (e.g., being fired, having a lousy reputation, unemployable). For example, if you’re a bad boss, ask your company to make you an individual contributor while maintaining the same pay and perks you had as a boss. If your company is unwilling to do so, find a forward-thinking company that does.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about getting real and hiring a coach to keep your job when you’ve gone off-track: when your employees or customers are leaving or complaining, it’s time for you as the boss or leader to listen and hire an executive coach, pronto! Many times, your behaviors and attitudes will improve with the right guidance. But don’t wait until it is too late! Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Hiring the wrong person for an executive or critical position jeopardizes your company. However, this can be preventable when using a strategic selection system. Get essential hiring and selection tips by grabbing the Amazon International Best-Selling Book,  “Hire Amazing Employees!”

How to Use Adversity to Make You and Your Team Stronger

“Want to take advantage of new opportunities? Then, don’t let adversity stop you.” Jeannette Seibly

Like it or not, every team will hit a “wall” when adversity knocks. But remaining stuck or feeling sorry for yourself is not an option. These misfortunes or difficulties can originate from bosses, co-workers, and customers because no one likes change. Some feel threatened by it and will sabotage or block your efforts. Or, it can be due to a company “elephant in the room” no one wants to deal with.

Hoping that the adversity will disappear is a lose-lose-lose strategy! Instead, use your commitment and the team’s resilience to transform a situation, project, and/or relationship. Doing so will make everyone stronger. Here’s how-to-do-it:

5 Tips to Blast through Adversity

Get Real About What Happened. It’s essential to tell the truth. Putting frosting on mud pie and calling it a cake doesn’t change it from a mud pie! When difficulties occur, there is no shame in it. Everyone has experienced failure and unexpected adversity. Adversity can be due to a lack of critical thinking, ignoring ideas, or company politics. Take responsibility and talk with your executive coach and mentor when adversity occurs. Then, take immediate action to get it resolved.

TIP: Complete this exercise with your team: What Worked? / What Didn’t Work? This exercise will have you and your team focused on the facts of what worked and the lessons learned. It will also infuse objectivity into the conversations you need to have with others. This process is a precursor to moving through adversity powerfully.

Develop Emotional Intelligence (EI). It can be challenging to see a situation from another’s point of view when you are emotionally attached to being right. Ask questions. Listen and learn. Now build a bridge between where you are now and the goal you and your team intend to achieve.

TIP: To develop EI, talk with your executive coach or therapist and do the inner work to acquire the critical skills needed.

Utilize All Team Members Based on Their Strengths. There are times adversity occurs due to mistakes made by team members assigned the wrong jobs. Instead of relying on your favorite team member(s) to tell you what you want to hear, give assignments to the best-qualified person.

TIP: Use a qualified job fit assessment to clarify each team member’s thinking style, core behaviors, and primary interests. This information opens new opportunities to develop each and every team member, utilize their strengths, and reduce mistakes.

Be Responsible for What You Are Saying and Sharing. Today’s focus on transparency can backfire when you share too much and publicly blame others. Your relationships can be damage and other will stop trusting you. Straight talk is key. Include diplomacy and kindness to ensure everyone is willing to listen and get on the same page with you.

TIP: Keep a private journal and write down your thoughts and feelings. Not everything needs to be shared with others!

Practice Thanks! Everyone loves being appreciated. Saying “please,” “thank you,” and “great work” is critical. When done authentically, your teams’ confidence grows, and your customers feel valued. Appreciation is especially essential during and after working through adversity of a difficult situation. Be generous with your appreciation!

TIP: For one week count, how many times you appreciate someone. The following week double it. You’ll be surprised by the elevated confidence of your team. And, this is really easy to do!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about using adversity to make you stronger: Big goals will cause adversity since most people don’t like change! Ask yourself, “Am I willing to do the work required?” Then, have the right conversations with the right people to move the project forward. What adversity are you dealing with? Are you willing to get unstuck? Need someone to listen? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence can be developed even when dealing with adversity. However, it takes a commitment to yourself to address “lessons being learned” and not shy away from them. Grab your copy of the 9 tips needed to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

How to Prevent Overconfidence from Derailing Your Leadership

“If your ego is in the way, your overconfidence will derail your results.” Jeannette Seibly

Well, I think we tried very hard not to be overconfident, because when you get overconfident, that’s when something snaps up and bites you. Neil Armstrong, American Astronaut

Now, more than ever, confidence is essential for leaders. It encourages your team, customers, and communities to follow you. But problems arise when you become overconfident. You fail to listen to others, be coachable, and focus your team on intended results. To make matters worse, you don’t admit to and learn from mistakes or wrongdoings. Then, before you know it, “something snaps up and bites you” – now, you’ve derailed your leadership.

6 Tips to Develop Healthy Self-Confidence

Pay attention to your communication style. Learn to be aware of words or actions that signal you’re being overconfident (e.g., “I’ve got this handled!” “I never fail!” “This always works.”). Work with your executive coach to see what details you may be stepping over or issues you are failing to address when this happens.

Be honest about your skills. Take the time to conduct an accurate assessment of yourself and learn about your blind spots. Work with your executive coach and use objective data from scientifically validated job-fit assessments. This will broaden your awareness of how others see you as a leader.

Stop comparing yourself with others. Too often, we blame others for mistakes they make but excuse our own! Instead, develop healthy emotional intelligence, work through mistakes, and learn from them. It will build your inner self-confidence and humility.

Test your assumptions before declaring your decisions. We often make decisions based on fragments of information. And, we’re usually wrong. Develop your critical thinking by deep diving into the factual pros and cons. Use your network and team to test your assumptions. Remember, 90% of the world’s information is in people’s heads, not the headlines on the internet or the latest hubris being expressed on social media!

Listen to others’ feedback and concerns. Confident leaders welcome brainstorming and hearing others’ ideas. This includes managing healthy disagreements and building win-win-win outcomes. Remember, learn to listen to what you don’t want to hear to improve your results and keep you focused on what matters. It keeps you grounded in reality.

Recognize when it’s the right time. While many ideas may work with modifications, it may not be the right time or place to put them into action. Avoid circular logic to push through these ideas that your business and customers are not ready for. This is often a problem with overconfident leaders.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about being an overconfident leader: It’s important to develop healthy confidence. Remember, you can avoid overconfidence by listening, being coachable, and admitting to mistakes. So, what challenges do you want to overcome? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence is an inside job … a life-long practice … and an essential factor in others following your lead. Grab the 9 tips required to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

We Hate Team Conflict, So Why Do We Allow It to Squash Team Results?

“If you want great team results, resolve issues as they arise. If you don’t, you risk alienating the team members that can get the job done!” Jeannette Seibly

“If you want to achieve anything in this world, you have to get used to the idea that not everyone will like you.” Simon Sinek

Many leaders focus solely on being liked and refuse to do anything that can disrupt that focus. Unfortunately, when it comes to team conflict, many of them behave like ostriches hoping it will disappear on its own! But! If not addressed, conflict doesn’t disappear and will squash team results!

If you’re hoping for team conflict to resolve itself, you’re in for a very long wait.” Jeannette Seibly

Even though resolving team conflict isn’t for the faint-hearted, it doesn’t need to be scary or impossible!

Keep in mind that managing team conflict (not trying to control it) requires having tough conversations, talking out different points of view, and encouraging critical thinking. While many leaders are not skilled in managing (or having) these types of conversations, these skills can be learned! It’s how new solutions are created, and teams excel! Plus, leaders become respected, confident, and liked.

How to Resolve Team Conflicts and Build Exceptional Results

  1. Be Intentional. Most team members attend meetings with the intention of “just getting through it.” However, as the leader, it’s up to you to listen, learn, and engage all team members in the process. Remember, you’re setting an example for team members to be heard and valued. Your intentional attitude minimizes conflicts and encourages everyone to get on the same page.
  2. Park Your Ego at the Door. Roll up your sleeves, admit to your mistakes, and don’t steamroll over issues! When inevitable issues arise, listen to team members’ rationale and guide them to build a solution that everyone can align with. Don’t rely on your leadership title as the deciding factor. Instead, the goal is to find common ground and ensure all concerns are addressed positively. This reduces the need for team members to take sides or engage in other disruptive behaviors.
  3. Set Up Your Team to Win. At the very beginning of a project or program, establish a clear goal, timeline, and budget. Define who the project or program is for (e.g., company-wide, department, customer, association, or community). Get buy-in from all team members. Naysayers should be excused from the team now, especially if they are your pal or BFF! Otherwise, you’ll squash opportunities for great team results while promoting team conflict!
  4. Ensure Everyone Has a Chance to Speak … especially if you fear dissension. Call on each and every team member, even if you don’t want to hear from them. Listen. Ask others for their thoughts. Encourage and value candor. Expecting team members to always agree with you only derails results while breeding team conflict and sabotaging progress.
  5. Encourage Brainstorming. This is a critical skill, often overlooked; instead of focusing on “busyness” as an excuse, brainstorm solutions. The process allows each team member to share insights and experiences without fear of others bashing their ideas. It saves time when done correctly, engages team members, and reduces team conflict.
  6. Don’t Take Sides. You’re the leader and need to keep an open mind. Be willing to have tough conversations and make difficult decisions while being diplomatic. While team conflict may erupt if they disagree with your decision, be prepared. Remind them you listened to both sides and give no more than three reasons for your decision.
  7. Ask for Help! Put aside your usual do-it-yourself approach. If you don’t, your team will feel muddled in avoidable turmoil. Hire a coach and talk with an internal company mentor. Take the coaching! When you learn and grow from these experiences, your team members will do the same. This approach resolves ongoing team conflict while getting to the heart of the issue.
  8. Learn and Master the Art of Working with Difficult Team Members. Instead of blaming them for problems, focus on their strengths and encourage their efforts in a positive manner. Your willingness to encourage everyone to excel reduces potential team conflict!

©Jeannette Seibly 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. As an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years, she guides others to make a positive difference. Feel stuck in a political work situation? Want clear advice on how to get out of it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette about resolving team conflict: We often become ostriches when there is team conflict. We put our heads in the sand and hope that the issue will resolve itself. It rarely does! With unresolved conflict, team members stop attending meetings, deadlines are missed, and customers are very unhappy. Team conflict can be prevented if you stand up and resolve it in the moment. Do you need a cheerleader or help getting your complex issues resolved? Let’s do it! Let’s Chat!

Have you mistakenly hired a team that loves conflict? This is a great way to lose customers! Improve your interviewing skills by grabbing your FREE copy of the best 16 Must-Read Tips for Productive Hiring Interviews.

To Achieve Great Results, You Need a Winning Attitude!

“A healthy relationship with ‘winning’ will guide you to achieve amazing results.” Jeannette Seibly

Winning isn’t everything, but a winning attitude is required to achieve amazing results. The bonus? It also feels great when you win.

But many people today have conflicted feelings and attitudes about winning. They find it more comfortable to conform to peer pressure and not rock the boat, which can get in the way of winning for them and their teams. While it keeps them from overshadowing others, there is a huge personal and professional cost (e.g., overlooked for promotions, not selected for key opportunities, low self-esteem, confidence, etc.).

Why is having a winning attitude vital for you?

  • It builds your confidence and mindful awareness.
  • It increases your ability to take the initiative, be coachable, and be resourceful.
  • It creates healthy self-esteem while improving your results.
  • It makes you promotable while having more fun and making more money.
  • It provides you the courage to ask for help, hire a coach, and influence others.

Remember, especially when you want to throw in the towel and say, “I give up,” it’s not about whether you win or lose. It’s about your attitude towards winning. It’s about enjoying the process of gaining new knowledge, skills, and awareness that comes from a winning attitude. And these experiences are priceless.

4 Tips for You to Create a Healthy Winning Attitude

  1. Take Initiative. Too often, people dream the dream but fail to honor the commitments required. Instead, they blame people and situations to excuse their unwillingness to make a plan and follow it. To achieve any goal, focus on what’s important to you, get in the game, and go for it! That’s what taking the initiative looks like when you’re in action.
  2. Do the Work Instead of Creating Excuses. We all love our excuses. But they get in the way of winning! When the process isn’t working, don’t let it deter you from achieving the goal! Don’t change the goal; instead, change the process. Remember, the process rarely looks like you think it should! It requires stretching your comfort zone into a new one or leaving behind the old one.
  3. When Obstacles Occur, and They Will, Become Resourceful! Everyone hits a wall. Sometimes it’s a massive one. But giving up isn’t an option. Instead, be flexible, resourceful, and resilient. Adopt the winning mantra, “I can do this, and I do it.” Now, take it day by day, step by step, and moment by moment as you move forward. Yes, there will continue to be bumps in the road. But they don’t need to stop you.
  4. Celebrate the Wins with Gratitude, not Ego. When you win, it’s important to celebrate and acknowledge your accomplishments! Add the achievements to your resume and bio. Bragging in a humble manner works! Don’t forget to say, “Thank you!” to those that helped you along the way! (You didn’t achieve it without them!)

©Jeannette Seibly 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. As an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years, she guides others to make a positive difference. Feel stuck in a political work situation? Want clear advice on how to get out of it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette about having a winning attitude and achieving amazing results: We often rely on our excuses for not achieving fantastic results. The truth is, we need to adopt a winning attitude and stop accepting mediocrity. It’s not hard, and there are no shortcuts. The reward is that it feels great when you achieve amazing results! You just need to do the work! What do you want to accomplish in Q2? Let’s do it! Let’s Chat!

Have you hired a team that doesn’t have a winning attitude? Oops! But it could have been avoided by improving your interviewing skills. So grab your FREE copy of the best 16 Must-Read Tips for Productive Hiring Interviews.