Stop Sabotaging Your Results with Busyness

“Busyness is the #1 bad habit we need to disrupt for an amazing 2022!” Jeannette Seibly

The best advice I can provide you this new year is to stop busyness from sabotaging your results!

But how? What is getting in the way?

You have dreams and goals you hope to achieve someday. Some of you want a job promotion, early retirement, to travel, or to write a book. Consider that someday is today!

That’s why busyness must need disruption.

Busyness is a mindset, a bad habit. People pride themselves on being busy. It’s their way of feeling fulfilled and living a purposeful life. But they lose sight of what really makes them happy, fulfilled, and living a life on purpose.

Yesterday I wrestled with my own “busyness” and resisted writing this article/blog post. So, I took my own advice and went for a walk! It was just the disruptor I needed. I came back and wrote two articles, including this one! Then, I completed the other items I resisted that were on my list too!

For a successful 2022, let’s make it a year of success now and stop sabotaging future results with today’s busyness!

7 Ways to Stop Busyness from Sabotaging Your Results!

  1. Find Work that Is Important to You. With the Great Resignation, there are many employers today begging for employees. The challenge? Over 70% of you hated your job because it didn’t fit your natural thinking, core behaviors, and occupational interests! So first, use a qualified job fit assessment to clarify what engages you objectively. Then, work with your executive coach to design the job and goals that engage and inspire you into action.
  2. Limit Social Media. It’s a big-time suck! The biggest issue? You compare your life to others and become depressed, which gets in your way of taking the required actions. Remember, these posts are only quick snapshots of a moment. They don’t reflect the efforts needed! Do something you enjoy for a few hours a week if you feel stuck. Not social media. Volunteer for a cause. Help a neighbor or friend. Take a fun class or get a certification. This “feel-good” will expand into other areas of your life and inspire you to do the work necessary to achieve your results!
  3. Get Out in Nature. Many times, taking a 20-minute walk can rejuvenate you! Don’t listen to podcasts or talk on your cell. Walk. Breathe. Stop the inner mental chatter. Enjoy the sights. Now, you’re refreshed and ready to focus on the next step in your action plan. Just like I did yesterday.
  4. Create Something New. Don’t be afraid to stretch and create a new process, product, or book. But don’t let it take you off-track from your goal (which often happens when you allow busyness to intercede). You don’t have to be highly creative. Instead, ask yourself, “How can I simplify this to save time?” This question energizes your mind, body, and soul to expand, which they love to do!
  5. Truly Listen and Engage in the Conversation. Truly listening to others stops the distracting internal mental chatter. Nothing is more rewarding than the feeling of being truly heard! When you listen to others, they will listen to you. Together, you can create fantastic new opportunities in life and business!
  6. Enjoy Silence. Instead of running off to the next meeting or task, set aside a few minutes to enjoy the silence. Taking the time will reenergize and de-stress you while making you more alert for the next meeting or task.
  7. K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple and Smart! We often love to make everything too complicated (and, at times, impossible). It sabotages your self-confidence and the results needed to achieve your dreams and goals. Number 1! Hire the right coach for you to get unstuck and create clarity. Number 2! Take focused action. It’s the best way to overcome the busyness saboteur! Number 3! Start right NOW!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2020-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. During the past 29 years, she has become an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, and keynote speaker. Recently, she was able to add another brag. She has been an Authorized PXT Select Partner with Wiley/Profiles International for 30 years, guiding companies to hire the right person the first time. Have questions? Need help? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette about achieving results now and overcoming the busyness saboteur! You have dreams and goals you hope to achieve (e.g., a promotion, early retirement, travel, writing a book, etc.). The question I have for you … “Why can’t you achieve them now?” The answer … You allow busyness to get in the way and use it to sabotage your results. Do you feel stuck and not clear on how to get started? If yes, contact me for a confidential conversation.

You are an influencer! But when you lack awareness of your intentions, it sabotages your results. 2022 is the year to be a positive influencer! Get started today with your FREE copy of Eight Tips to Increase Your Ability to Influence.

How to Stop Tactless Remarks from Hurting Your Leadership

“Words matter … so choose your words responsibly.” Jeannette Seibly

It only takes a second to blurt out a tactless remark, but it can take hours, weeks, and even years for your team, boss, or customer to forget … if they ever do.

As a leader, your words reverberate throughout the company and impact your team’s results. You have a choice … your words will either inspire or deflate others.

The words you choose will impact the results you, your team, and your business strive to achieve.

Words Matter to Achieve Team Results

Here are 7 common tactless remarks guaranteed to create conflict, frustration, and poor results. So again, choose your words wisely.

Yeah, but…! This only invokes debate, defensiveness, and poor solutions! Listen with an open mind and heart. You will learn something new!

“That’s stupid.” This tactless remark is a great way to block others from wanting to share their ideas and solutions! While you may not want to hear their ideas, get over it. It’s your job as a leader to listen. Instead, ask, “That’s interesting…how would that work?” Now ask yourself, “What new insights did I learn?”

“I have the wrong team.” Although this is a common remark, it’s doubtful you have the wrong team! In reality, there may be one or two underperforming team members not committed to the goal or causing team conflict. It’s your job to get everyone on the same page. While training and developing your team, you will uncover the real issues that have hindered progress. Now, it’s time to have the tough conversations without blaming others.

“I hate this project or customer.” Expressing this remark hurts your team’s ability to produce intended results. When you “hate” something, you limit new ideas and make bad decisions. It also limits your ability to be a positive influencer. Work with your executive coach and a mentor to transform this mindset.

“I never liked working here.” Did you know, according to Gallup, that over 70% of employees are in jobs that don’t fit them … including leaders? (Numbers are now climbing!) Use a qualified job fit assessment to clarify the reason for your dissatisfaction. Now, get back in action and build the leadership skills required to engage your team and produce dynamic results.

“My team or customer or boss is a moron…jerk…narrow-minded (the list is endless)” Insulting someone’s intelligence or labeling them hurts team productivity and results. And, unfortunately, your team (and others) will mimic you! Remember, there will be times you must effectively work with and through others to achieve win-win-win outcomes. So, make it a practice to facilitate good working relationships along the way!

[absolute silence].  When tragedy, terminal illness, or a life difficulty happens to a team member, saying something is better than saying nothing. Pick up the phone (don’t text or send emails). Let the person know, “I’m sorry” or “My thoughts are with you” and “Let me know if you need anything.” You only have this one chance to let the person know they are valued. Your effort, or lack of, will impact your team members and their results for a long time. In these situations, silence is not golden.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2020-2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals for almost 30 years. Her brags include being an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, and keynote speaker. Recently, she was able to add another brag. She is now an international Amazon Bestselling author of, The Old Wooden Rocker. Have questions? Need a speaker or facilitator? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette: How to Stop Tactless Remarks from Hurting Your Leadership. Every leader has made tactless remarks, even if it was only one time. While it may only take a moment to make a tactless remark, it can take hours, weeks, and even years for the team or person to forget. Apologize immediately when this happens. If the issue is still hanging around, call me now for a confidential conversation … let’s get it fixed now before it’s too late!

Know you’re making a difference by being a positive influencer. Learn how to share so that others will listen. Get your FREE copy of Eight Tips to Increase Your Ability to Influence

Build Confidence by Not Allowing Self-Doubt to Sabotage Your Career

“Overcoming self-doubt requires believing and trusting in yourself … as you are … right now.” Jeannette Seibly

Have you ever wanted to do something and the “little voice in your head” said, “NO! You’ll fail! You can’t! You’re not smart enough! You’re too old! You don’t have what it takes to succeed?”

Everyone has self-doubts. They occur when fear or uncertainty creeps in! But don’t let your self-doubt become the predictor of your goals, career choices, or leadership.

Building confidence is an inside job and erases self-doubt. It’s developing a belief and a trust in yourself each day … where you are … right now.

7 Ways to Erase Self-Doubt and Build Confidence

  1. Replace Negative Self-Talk with Your Brags! Internal mind chatter often gets in everyone’s way, especially when attempting something new. To overcome this, complete the Brag! work in It’s Time to Brag! Business Edition. Wow! Look at what you’ve already achieved! Remember, no matter what you’ve accomplished in life … and you’ve already accomplished a lot … self-doubt can sabotage your career if you allow it! So now, before you second-guess yourself, again, offer your idea, manage team conflict, and/or ask your boss for that promotion and pay raise!
  2. Banish the Fear of Feeling You’re Not Good Enough. We all experience the “Imposter Syndrome” when not feeling confident, especially women. This happens regardless of all the credentials and other awards you’ve won! When it occurs, talk it out with your executive coach. Uncover the real reason for your fear (e.g., getting your boss’s approval, managing a difficult team member, hiring the right person, etc.).
  3. Be Willing to Learn Something New. Yes, everyone started their career “not knowing how to do or accomplish something!” However, the ones that succeeded were willing to set aside their ego, admit they didn’t know, and learn the basics. They were also ready to practice and become masters while working through mistakes! Remember, when you set aside your ego, you learn at a faster and more advanced level!
  4. It Doesn’t Need to be Perfect … Just Very Good. This can be difficult for successful people to grasp … and, it doesn’t mean overlooking mistakes. Also, it doesn’t mean accepting mediocrity. Remember, perfectionism creates unnecessary stress, team conflict, and missed milestones. So relax, trust in the process, and allow your team to work their magic!
  5. Use the “Rule of 3” to Make the Best Decision You Can. Create 3 must-haves for your project, new vehicle, or next job. Now, get three different quotes or create three options for fulfillment. When selecting a book editor, I remember I found three viable candidates and had each submit their proposal. Then, I decided on the one that met my criteria. Remember, the cheapest isn’t always the best one!
  6. Accept Negative Feedback Graciously. When you receive negative feedback, instead of allowing self-doubt to take hold, get the specifics of the issue. Be open to feedback. It’s how you improve. Ask, “What were your 2 specific concerns and why are these important?” Listen and learn. Now, incorporate these as appropriate. If you’re not willing to learn from negative feedback, your self-doubt will win!
  7. Just Because You Fail, It Doesn’t Mean You Should Stop Trusting or Believing in Yourself. Of course, there will be times you fail (we all do). But it may be time to get real. If you’re unwilling to take focused-actions designed to achieve the results, work with your executive coach for other options. For example, if you’re reluctant to sell, being a financial planner will not be a successful career choice today.

©Jeannette Seibly 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals for almost 30 years. Her brags include being an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, and keynote speaker. Recently, she was able to add another brag. She became an international Amazon Bestselling author of, The Old Wooden Rocker. Have questions? Need a speaker or facilitator? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette about erasing self-doubt. Everyone experiences self-doubt when faced with uncertainty, especially when attempting something new. Learning to erase these fears builds confidence now and guides you in future endeavors. Are you stuck and uncertain where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Want to be an influencer? Have your ideas heard and valued by your boss and team? Get your Eight Tips to Increase Your Ability to Influence

 

Leaders Today Must Increase Trust to Reduce Workplace Stress

“Building trust as a leader requires a daily practice of mindful awareness.” Jeannette Seibly

Many leaders today are uncertain and confused by what they need to do to keep top talent.

The key is to be a trustworthy leader. When you are, you will reduce the workplace stress on your team members. They can trust you to not over-react to mistakes … be fair when handling conflict … and, support them in developing skills for their next job or career.

Employees in high-trust organizations are more productive, have more energy at work, collaborate better with their colleagues, and stay with their employers longer than people working at low-trust companies. They also suffer less chronic stress and are happier with their lives, and these factors fuel stronger performance. Harvard Business Review

How to Build Trust and Reduce Stress

  1. Have Compassion. Empathy, optimism, and understanding can go a long way towards building trust. Team members will know that you care by what you say and do. Remember, over-the-top optimism can backfire … be positive without becoming a Pollyanna.
  2. Develop Mindful Awareness. Subtle gestures, words, and tone of voice (aka microaggressions) can diminish trust fast! Hire an executive coach to guide you in developing a positive and diverse workplace culture.
  3. Build Credibility. Use brags, share acknowledgments, and encourage the self-promotion of team members. This encourages them to trust their successes and understand the impact they have on others. In turn, they will trust your leadership.
  4. Self-Care. Take care of yourself. This may be the one area that is most often overlooked. When you take care of yourself, you set a positive tone for team members to develop trust in you as their leader. In turn, the team will relax, take better care of themselves, and create a health-focused workplace culture.
  5. Talk Straight. Conversations that make a positive difference are focused on feedback needed to achieve objectives and results.  Listen! Ask questions! Get them talking! These conversations are also “trust-building” opportunities to show that you are “there for them!”
  6. Walk the Talk. Practice doing what you say. If you’re a stickler for having team members arrive at meetings on time and prepared, you need to do so too.
  7. Be Fearless. Resolve conflicts or poor teamwork habits NOW. Your team members are watching to see if and how you’ll resolve these workplace saboteurs. How you handle these situations will either calm their stress levels or have them send out resumes.

©Jeannette Seibly 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals for almost 30 years. Her brags include being an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker. Recently, she became an Amazon Bestselling author of her first novel, The Old Wooden Rocker. Have questions? Need a speaker or facilitator? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette about becoming a trustworthy leader. Trust is more important today than ever. If you’re a trusted leader, then team members’ stress levels will be low. But you need to develop “trust” over time and do the right things the right way each time. If you don’t, trust will disappear. Are you uncertain how to get started? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Frequent Conversations Are Required to Achieve Intended Results

“Frequent conversations that are productive stay focused on moving forward.” Jeannette Seibly

Have you ever wondered why we need frequent conversations to achieve intended results? Especially, if you’re a leader with too many demands.

Due to many team members working from home and frequent changes in business, staying focused and staying in communication can be hard.

And, the best way to keep everyone focused on the objectives and key results is through frequent conversations. It encourages progress, keeps everyone productive, and allows for innovative ideas.

How to Have Conversations that Achieve Intended Results

  1. Meet Weekly. When working on any project, meet every week. This encourages team members to get their work done and keeps everyone focused on the objectives and key results.
  2. Keep Meetings On-Point. Put together a short agenda. Review before starting the meeting. Remember, general meetings are a time to keep everyone updated, not a time to tell someone how to do their work. Effective meetings focus on the who, what, when, where, and why of a project.
  3. Use Check-Ins. Instead of meeting with the whole team, meet 1:1 with the team leader and/or team members to stay updated. Also, this is a good way to address specific issues and get resolutions faster.
  4. Create Accountability. At the start of each project, no matter how big or small, create the goal and milestones. Once done, assign each team member to their area of expertise to manage. Now, as a leader, have frequent conversations to review progress and stay updated on any changes.
  5. Stay in Communication. When a team member becomes confronted by an issue, don’t allow the person to isolate. It’s important for everyone to rally together as a team by using straight-talk conversations to help members move forward. And, if the issue is of a personal nature, offer assistance.
  6. Listen to Learn. Instead of listening to rebut (which most of us do), listen to learn. Ask questions. Don’t be afraid to request examples (e.g., show me). This keeps lines of communication open and avoids surprises.
  7. Brag! It’s meaningful to acknowledge each and every person with kudos and congrats on the steps taken and the results achieved. When you sincerely acknowledge someone, your results will magically improve!
  8. Give Meaningful Feedback. Instead of saying, “This needs improvement.” Say, “There are a couple of things I would recommend changing. Can I share them with you?” Then, keep it simple and on-point. Don’t tell them how to do it (unless they ask). Also, be open to their feedback regarding the changes you have asked to be made.
  9. Develop Trust. Trust is critical. It starts with straight talk. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. During the past 29 years, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. Her brags include being an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker. Do you have questions? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette about having frequent conversations to achieve intended results. With many team members working remotely, it’s important for you to have frequent conversations with team members. If you don’t, it will negatively impact achieving intended results. If you want to learn how to manage conversations with a diverse and remote workforce, contact me for a confidential conversation. Your team and customers will thank you!

 

Get Unstuck and Find Clarity to Pursue Career Opportunities that Fit

“Being stuck in a job that doesn’t fit you doesn’t mean you should leap to the next one.” Jeannette Seibly

There’s been a great awakening during the past year for many workers. Work and business as usual no longer exist … The Great Resignation (Google for additional info) has occurred because many now value and are prioritizing their time, family, and life pursuits. The problem? Many remain stuck trying to figure out what they’d like to do. When you gain clarity, you will be able to pursue career opportunities that fit your talents and honor your newfound values.

Millie was fired from her job for no clear reason. For the next 7 years, she felt stuck. Because of her past successes, the first thing she decided was to become an entrepreneur. She started a company, but it failed because the work requirements didn’t line up with her desire to have more free time and do things her own way.

After this failure, she took any type of job she could find for the next few years. She also took free online assessments and listened to motivational techniques, but felt even more stuck and less clear about what she wanted to do with her career.

Finally, after all those years, she took the advice from a trusted friend. She hired an experienced coach and took a qualified job-fit assessment. With her new clarity and commitment, she quickly found a job she enjoyed.

Her comment, “Wow! The truth is, finding work that fits my values and talents isn’t hard … but it does require coming down to reality and developing clarity about jobs that fit me.”

Note: Millie represents many people I’ve worked with over the years that became resigned and stuck after leaving successful and unsuccessful jobs.

4 Tips to Get Unstuck, Find Clarity, and Confidently Move Forward

Talk It Out. Share your concerns with only a few trusted people and your executive coach. Too many opinions keep you stuck. First, complete this exercise by focusing on your career to date, “What Worked?/What Didn’t Work?” Second, share selected results with a trusted listener. Listen to the feedback and ask, “What do you hear?” and “What do you recommend?” Get into action immediately!  Critical note: Stay out of the common traps of overthinking it, believing what they did will work for you, or, grabbing on to every new idea presented!

Get Your Brag On. Many of us have no awareness of the results and the positive impact we’ve had during our careers to date. It keeps you playing small in your career and not pursuing jobs you’d enjoy. Use the five steps outlined in the book, The Secret to Selling Yourself Anytime, Anywhere: Start Bragging! These steps awaken awareness of your talents and build confidence in “selling you” to win new career opportunities.

Write It Out. Every job … no matter how well it fits you … will have times when projects, situations, and/or relationships become murky and confusing. Before you do anything, stop! Breathe. Take the time to write by hand your thoughts, feelings, and commitments to gain a broader perspective (e.g., no one is perfect and you cannot win every sale). Another way to gain clarity is by writing with your less dominant hand (e.g., if you write with your right hand, use your left hand). Ask a question. See what answers pop up. Now, take action to move forward with your new clarity (e.g., it’s better to work well with others than be right about how it should be done).

Hire the Right Coach. There are 100’s of coaches that promise you results. The key is to find the right one for you. Be sure to use a qualified job fit assessment to clarify why some professions are good fits for you, and why others are not (e.g., not everyone should be a financial planner or insurance agent or tech consultant, etc.).

©Jeannette Seibly, 2011-2021

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. During the past 29 years, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. Her brags include being an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker. Do you have questions? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about getting unstuck. We all experience being stuck about figuring out what is the right career or job for us. Today, over 85% of workers are in jobs that don’t fit them. (It’s shocking, right!?) That has created The Great Resignation with many quitting their jobs. The problem? Too many leave without a plan and then stay stuck! The answer? Ask for help, listen, and take the right actions before taking the leap. Need help finding clarity? Contact me for a confidential conversation now.

Do You Know How to Listen to Succeed?

“Misunderstandings, bad decisions, and team conflict create poor results. Avoid them by simply listening!” Jeannette Seibly

Most people would say, “Sure, I listen if …”

  • It’s something that interests me.
  • The speaker is engaging.
  • The boss is saying something that I need to hear.

But listening selectively doesn’t work.

Poor listening skills are the #1 reason for poor communication today! It impacts everything, everywhere in our lives, careers, and businesses…and leads to poor results.

There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak. Simon Sinek

You’re not listening when you are …

  • Engaging with the internal chatter in your head
  • Multi-tasking
  • Thinking about other things to do
  • Replaying old upsets (Hint: listening can resolve them)
  • Creating a new job and not engaged in the one you have

The costs of not listening are many. A select few include:

  • Teamwork and comradery are lost
  • New ideas and opportunities are missed
  • Logical discernment and cost-saving processes are overlooked
  • Trust — people feeling valued and respected disappears

8 Tips to Improve Your Listening and Your Results

1. Set Aside Your Ego. It’s the #1 reason you don’t listen. You believe you know-it-all or have already heard it! The truth is, you haven’t. Stop finishing people’s sentences or ideas. Not only is this rude, but you’re also usually incorrect. When your team does not speak up to correct you…you lose time and cost-saving ideas.

Max was a CFO for a large company. He had an uncanny ability to listen and sought out others’ ideas and opinions before making decisions. He didn’t just rely on executives’ opinions, he talked with others that would be impacted too. As a result, his decisions were better accepted and easier to implement. He’d learned the value of listening early in his career and believed it built trust. He was right!

2. Deep Dive. Hearing a tidbit of info and expanding and expounding on it isn’t listening. It’s your ego at work … and often it can be wrong. Listening and asking questions are part of developing critical thinking skills.

3. Stop the Internal Chatter. You have an internal chatterbox. (We all do!) It operates full-time every day, and many times keeps you awake at night too. Learn to meditate and disengage from mental chatter. Now, use these skills for listening.

4. Be Present. Focus and concentrate in the moment when interacting with others. This simple, but rarely used, listening practice makes all experiences more authentic and meaningful. Bonus … others will feel and see the difference too!

5. Set Aside Your Point of View. Set aside mental ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ about the person, task, or situation. This gets in the way of listening and hearing more than the words said. The creation of new ideas begins by listening and engaging in “Tell me more.”

Sabrina, a project manager had tons of experience and so she didn’t listen to anyone that didn’t agree with her. She said, “no” more than, “Tell me more.” As a result, she lost the trust of her team. They felt disrespected. In turn, they only did the work necessary making it difficult for Sabrina to execute customer projects. They also blamed her for not listening to them whenever something went wrong.

6. Don’t Shoot the Messenger. This metaphoric phrase is used to blame the bearer of bad news. (Wikipedia) Be willing to hear what you don’t want to hear. This. Is. Critical. (Yes, it’s hard, but worth the effort.) It will improve your results, save time and money, and have others feel respected. Also, it will save your job and career.

7. Show Me. Many people are not confident when sharing their concerns. They’ve learned that others don’t want to listen. So, if you’re not clear, don’t dismiss their concerns as unimportant. Instead, say, “Show me the concern.” Have the person physically show you from start to finish to ensure clarity.

8. Stop Multi-tasking. Everyone believes they are the exception to the rule and think they know how to multitask and listen at the same time. They don’t! This egocentric habit (lots of us have it) gets in the way of listening and paying attention to the details. When people need to repeat what they have already said, they don’t feel valued or respected. When you truly listen, it saves time and builds trust in you since you actually heard them!

Becky had a habit of sitting through “boring” meetings thumbing through her social media posts and texts. As a result, she missed her boss’s announcement about meeting with executive management. She didn’t show up prepared with the required 3-minute PPT and she attempted to wing-it. When asked by her boss why she didn’t come prepared, she said, “I’m too busy putting out fires.” His response was, “If you learned to listen, you wouldn’t have so many fires to extinguish.”

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. During the past 29 years, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. Her brags also include being an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker. If you’re struggling to get unstuck, now is a great time to contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about listening to succeed. The #1 communication skill overlooked today is listening! We are too focused on standing up and speaking up and forget to listen first! Contact me about providing the workshop, Everyone Is Talking, But No One Is Listening! for you and your leaders.

How to Turn Negative Feedback into a Positive Learning Experience

“Successful leaders listen to negative feedback and turn it into a learning opportunity. When they don’t, they lose the respect of and the ability to lead their teams.” Jeannette Seibly

No one likes to hear negative feedback about themselves. It feels demotivating. But negative feedback can turn into a positive experience when you listen to learn and improve your productivity.

When you welcome all types of feedback, you will get promoted faster, make more money, and be on the fast track for new opportunities. It also builds stronger relationships with team members, management, and customers.

9 Tips to Turn ALL Feedback into Success

1. Listen with Intention. If you listen with the intention of learning, you will keep your mind open to hearing what is said. The key is to avoid debating who’s right and who’s wrong; instead, ask clarifying questions.

2. Let Go of the Past! When you hang on to negative feedback, you will get stuck. Immediately after receiving negative feedback, talk with your executive coach and/or mentor to turn negative feedback into a positive learning experience. Then, create a plan of action and take the first step within 24 hours.

A VP told a young manager that “…he was stupid for making such a suggestion…that he didn’t know what he was talking about.” When a director overheard the conversation, he coached the young manager on how to learn from the negative feedback. The young manager took the coaching and got into action. He was able to turn the relationship with the VP into a positive one and was promoted six months later.

3. Remember, It’s Not Personal. This can be hard to believe when you receive negative feedback. If you’ve lost out on an opportunity or promotion, schedule a 1:1 meeting. Ask, “What is the most important thing I can learn from not getting this job (or promotion)?” Remember, you may have the skills and experience, but the opportunity didn’t work out for you at this time. Learn from it and be ready for the next opportunity.

4. Release Emotional Attachments. Like many people, you love doing things your own way. You rely on your own ideas and sometimes fail to welcome or take into consideration your team’s opinions. When you blow off negative feedback and fail to learn from it, your team and results will suffer. Eventually, your career will be sidelined.

5. Stay Away from Always and Never Statements. When receiving (or giving) negative feedback, do not use these triggering words! “I’m always on time.” “I would never say that!”

6. Stop Making It Mean Too Much! When receiving negative feedback about a goal, work effort, or interaction, don’t hear it as criticism. (Yes, it can be difficult to do.) Instead, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Remember, negative feedback is about a specific issue, not about you as a whole person!

7. Use a Job Fit Assessment to Clarify “Why.” When someone says you are not a good fit for a job, use a job-fit assessment and work with an executive coach to find out why. You may find that financial planning, sales, and/or customer service jobs do not fit your strengths! It’ll be the best money you ever spent and can save you countless disappointments in the future!

8. Get Your Brag On! When you learn how to brag or promote yourself, it is a huge confidence booster. Don’t fall into the trap of sharing the negative feedback with everyone that’ll listen! Instead, share your “brags” to showcase your coachability to take feedback and use it.

9. Develop Mindful Resilience. Don’t allow negative feedback to sabotage your self-care. Take positive actions for your professional development by turning your internal monologues into dialogues with your coach and/or mentor.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. Her focus is getting leaders and their teams unstuck and able to achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. 

A note from Jeannette about turning negative feedback into positive learning experiences. Paying attention and listening to ALL feedback is critical for professional growth. If you only listen to the positive, you’ll lose the opportunity to learn the truth! If you hate receiving any type of feedback, it’s time to get over it before you are bypassed for a promotion or pay increase! Contact me for a confidential conversation.

How to “Coach Your Boss” (and Keep Your Job)

“If you want to be an effective coach, and want others to listen and use what you have to say, first, you must be coachable.” Jeannette Seibly

When your boss gets stuck and could use your insights and coaching, it may be time to coach your boss.

“First off you may not want to use the term coaching. Consider it an open and honest conversation with your boss that focuses on feedback. Framing it this way opens the door for more honest dialogue.” (Forbes)

But beware! If it’s not done diplomatically, you could find yourself sidelined in your job.

A director hated his boss, a VP. When the executive coach asked the director to have an honest conversation with the VP, he resisted. He used the excuse “Everyone else hates the VP since he is difficult to work with.” Under the guidance of his coach, the director had an honest conversation to clear the air with the VP. Afterward, he started treating his boss with more respect and appreciating his boss’s insights when stuck in projects. Soon thereafter, the director became viewed as one of the very few people who could work well with this VP. If the director hadn’t been open to the coaching he received, he could have been sidelined in his job instead of being promoted.

Many team members today have insights, concerns, or problems with their bosses. The challenge is learning how to have an honest conversation to create a positive outcome.

Note for bosses and leaders: Encourage your team members and co-workers to give you honest feedback. It’s the only way you learn and grow, and catch those blind spots before they get in your way.

6 Tips to Coach or Have an Honest Conversation with Higher-Ups

  1. Be Diplomatic. Egos get in the way. So, it’s important to be diplomatic and set aside your own ego. Remember, there are always at least two sides to any issue. Be open to hearing what your boss has to say before offering your insights.
  2. Be Clear About the Issue. Take time to write down the specifics about “why” this conversation is important. Rehearse in front of the mirror until the person looking back at you feels comfortable and confident. Otherwise, your boss will dismiss what you have to say.
  3. Visualize the Conversation. Take the time to visualize or mentally think through the entire conversation. If you hit a snag, rewind, and replay in a positive manner.
  4. Breathe to Calm Your Nerves and Anxiety. Breathe to calm down the urge to go in too strong. Remember, being assertive is important; but, being aggressive will only limit your future job opportunities. Breathe in for a count of 10, pause, then, exhale for a count of 10. Do this at least 3 times before your conversation. This simple exercise will reduce stress and positively impact your results.
  5. Work Through Your Anger or Righteousness First. It’s natural for you to feel that your boss won’t understand or get what you have to say. But if you go into the meeting assuming your boss won’t understand and feel angry or righteous, your boss will only defend his/her actions. Work with your own executive coach first and role-play the conversation. Write out an agenda outlining facts and key points. Stay on-point during the conversation.
  6. Ask Permission. Start with a soft approach to get your boss’s attention. “I have something I need to talk about with you. And, I’m nervous about doing this. I fear you’ll hear it the wrong way.” Do this in a respectful manner. The boss is more likely to hear what you have to say.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Right Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. Her focus is getting leaders and their teams unstuck and able to achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. 

A note from Jeannette about coaching your boss (and keeping your job): Everyone can benefit from feedback. This includes your boss! Your challenge is the boss may not appreciate how you “coach” them. Instead, take the time to prepare for an honest conversation. If you know you need to have a difficult conversation with your boss but don’t know how contact me for a confidential conversation.

How to Be an Effective Coach

“If you want to be an effective coach, and want others to listen and use what you have to say, first, you must be coachable.” Jeannette Seibly

Many believe being coached is no big deal when they are the coach. Coaches love giving advice and it provides an ego boost. The challenge is, many have learned from a traditional approach of, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Or, they lack the confidence and insight required to be an effective coach.

Do you experience (check all that apply):

  • Giving advice that doesn’t reflect the person’s struggles?
  • Coming across as critical about how it should be done?
  • A lack of insight into what the true issue is?
  • Not having credibility in the listener’s eyes?
  • People ignoring your coaching and doing it their way?

If you answered “yes” to more than one question, it’s important to keep reading!

Today, it’s critical that leaders and managers effectively coach team members for success. The quality of the coaching provided impacts business growth, team member retention, and customer satisfaction.

Remember, if you lack the skills to effectively coach others, it can tarnish your working relationships for a very long time.

Nine Essential Coaching Skills to Improve Your Effectiveness

1. Set a Positive Example. Leaders, bosses, and managers are not perfect. But ethical issues, being late for meetings, or multitasking during conversations (to name a few) hurts your credibility as a coach. Improve your effectiveness by working with your executive coach to address these issues and blind spots.

2. Visualize a Positive Outcome. Take the time to visualize or mentally think through what you want to say. If you hit a snag during this visualization process, rewind and restart to ensure a positive outcome. Read Dr. Lynn Hellerstein’s newest book: Expand Your Vision: How to Gain Clarity, Courage, and Confidence for more information.

3. Be Specific. Write down the specific issues to organize your thoughts about why you need to coach a team member. Saying you found problems with the sales report or you don’t like a graphic is of no value. Instead, be specific about where the report is inaccurate or why the graphic doesn’t have visual appeal. Remember to manage the task, not a person’s personality.

4. Use a Job Fit Tool for Clarity. These tools often include “coaching” reports guiding the leader to be on-target when providing feedback.

One company president uses the coaching information when talking with his direct reports. When there is a problem, he scans the report for insights and adjusts his coaching style. By doing this, the other person feels valued and becomes coachable.

5. Talk Straight and Stay On-Point. Talking in generalities or going off on tangents leaves the team member or co-worker confused and frustrated.

A human resources director (HRD) counseled a financial director (FD) to stop the negative gossip about a vice president (VP). A week later, the FD continued to make negative comments about the VP. FD’s coach said, “I thought HRD had counselled you to stop making negative comments about the VP.” FD’s reply, “No… he stated we need to operate as a team. I was unclear what his point was since I am a team player.”  

This level of confusion is what happens when you speak in generalities.

6. Keep It Confidential and Private. Criticizing a team member in public has repercussions, even when the person says, “No problem. I don’t care if anyone else hears this.” If the person has a public negative reaction, it will often reflect negatively on you. Instead, set up a 1:1 private and confidential meeting immediately after an issue or problem has occurred. Don’t share publicly. During the 1:1, remember to share facts, not opinions. Otherwise, what you say will not be heard as objective feedback.

7. Choose the Appropriate Coaching Approach.

a. When to Use the Direct Approach. Be clear and concise with those that can handle or want that style of feedback. Keep in mind this approach will always depend on the situation (e.g., illness, passing away of a family member, etc.).

“Good report. But when including numbers in a report, you need to include a graph and bullet point the numbers. Any questions? How soon can you get this report updated and back to me?”

b. When to Use the Sandwich Approach. Talk straight and be specific. Use this approach when the situation may cause an emotional reaction, or the person is easily triggered. Share 2 positive actions the person has taken, 2 specific areas for improvement, and close with 2 positive actions the person has taken.

“Your proposal was good. The numbers supported the importance of this project. But when providing this type of information, it’s important to include a graph so the reader can visually see the value. And, bullet point the numbers to make them easier to read and understand. Again, good proposal and I appreciate you getting this done so fast. Any questions? How soon can you get this report updated and back to me?”

8. Have Compassion. Everyone has challenges, especially during this ongoing pandemic. Be empathetic, while sticking to the point.

“It’s hard when a family member has COVID. My heart goes out to those struggling during this pandemic. But when providing written reports, the information and spelling need to be proofread before submitting. Let me know what you need and how I can help.”

9. Share a Story. An effective way to coach others is by sharing a story about your own similar challenge and what you did to work through it. Then, offer one or two ideas for them to implement.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. Her focus is getting leaders and their teams unstuck and able to achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. 

A note from Jeannette about how to be an effective coach: Successful people have coaches. When leaders and others talk with their coach regularly, their productivity, confidence, and results improve. The challenge is, many don’t believe they need a coach, and hear feedback as criticism. As an entrepreneurial leader, make a commitment to coach others for success by being an effective coach. Want to get started, but don’t know how? Contact me for a confidential conversation.