Feel the Fear. What Are You Waiting For?

Yes, I’ve written about this topic … a lot … and I still get questions about waiting and stalling to take the actions required to pursue your dreams or next chapter. This article focuses on how fear is the underlying culprit and waiting becomes the excuse or trap for staying where you are.

Your fears quietly shape and limit your choices. They keep you waiting for situations and people to change so you feel comfortable moving forward. You may read self-help books and listen to podcasts to motivate yourself. These actions can help. But they often keep you waiting, thinking and dreaming instead of taking the actions required to move forward.

When you fail to acknowledge your fear — that apprehension lurks beneath the waiting. Let’s delve into the fear patterns and learn how to recognize them. This can provide the awareness needed to keep you moving forward and taking the actions required.

Fear Doesn’t Sound Like Fear

It often sounds very reasonable:

  • “I’ll start when…”
  • “I don’t have enough information…”
  • “I’ll be ready when …”

Fear shows up as:

  • overthinking
  • perfectionism
  • procrastination
  • staying busy instead of focused

But the underlying true fears are:

  • Not feeling safe
  • Alone and not belonging
  • Ability to make the right choices

Let’s shift these fears:

  • from waiting to choosing
  • from fear to awareness
  • from dreaming to doing

The Parts Most People Miss

What many people miss when addressing these fears – we all have them — learning how to acknowledge them and let them support us in moving forward. Remember, fear doesn’t occur when you’re comfortable. Fear pops up when you need to make changes … whether you want to change or not.

Notice I didn’t say “wait for the fear to dissolve.” Fear isn’t going to do that on its own.  You need to acknowledge your fears, take baby steps, and stay in action when the going gets tough.

Fear of not feeling safe.

Inner strength — physical, mental, and emotional — develops when you do the work instead of going through the mental gymnastics and excuses as to why you can’t. Consider hiring a trainer, therapist and coach to guide you through these processes.

Here’s the key: do the work to the best of your ability. (Yes, reread that and write it down.) Over time, you will see an amazing shift in results. Fear won’t be so loud. Let your new attitude shine.

Fear of not making the right choices.

Every choice has a benefit and a consequence. Feel the fear and stop waiting … do the best you can with the information you currently have.

I remember buying a nice new condo that I enjoyed the first few months before it turned into the condo from h$*&. I took a loss when I finally sold it. But since then, looking back, I can see the benefit of having had to move … I now live in a much nicer home.

Fear of being alone and not belonging.

This can be the hardest one for most people who aren’t deep introverts or hermits. The fear of being alone or not belonging has you and others hanging onto friends, family members, neighbors, or community members. This may not be in your best interest.

This fear of letting go keeps you from growing and evolving in your personality, knowledge, and capabilities.

As you move forward, determine who you stay in connection with, and in what circumstances you stay part of a group, because not everyone is rooting for your success.

A client shared about a family member asking, “Don’t you get lonely not attending family get-togethers?”

His reply: “Not really.”

What he didn’t say — because it would have created more brouhaha — was that he often left family gatherings feeling diminished and emotionally beaten up.

As You Move Forward

Stop waiting. It won’t get any easier as time goes on and fear hangs around.

Feel the fear and move forward with awareness and intention. Talk with your coach, therapist, or mentor (or all three) to determine if the fear is valid or just holding you back.

Embrace the freedom available when taking action and enjoying things you’ve put off, ignored, or haven’t yet discovered. Healthful pursuits help you grow and develop inner strength and safety.

Examples:

Take a chance:

  • You won’t know if you enjoy golf until you take lessons and play.
  • Artistic pursuits? Same thing — take the lessons and see what happens.

Don’t be afraid of one-and-done.

  • I really wanted to learn how to ski. It took a while, but I finally learned — and stopped once I hit the intermediate level. I haven’t skied since. My goal was accomplished.

Welcome a new-found goal.

  • Publishing books (best sellers). I learned, made mistakes, stopped waiting, and put the fear aside to publish my next books.

 The Truth About Fear

  •  Fear doesn’t magically go away.
  • Learn how to acknowledge your fear and stop waiting for that “perfect moment.”
  • Listen to your intuition … because there are times fears can be a good friend or ally.

Now … stop waiting and move forward.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Fear doesn’t disappear — but your willingness to act in the face of fear changes everything. If you’re ready to shift from waiting to doing, take the next step today and contact me. Your future self will thank you.

When You Need to Make Life Changes, How Do You Handle Old Relationships?

At 55+, stepping into a new chapter of being a leader and an advocate, and navigating life changes isn’t about learning how to lead — you’ve already done that throughout your career. It’s about the shift in your priorities and how those shifts impact long‑standing relationships. Over the years, people have relied on your friendship, your influence, and your support … and now you’re sharpening your focus on what matters most to you. And, that may no longer include them.

Long‑standing friendships can shift in unexpected ways as you enter this new chapter, and the power dynamics shift too. Some friends may no longer feel as connected, as equal, or as comfortable as they once did. That’s when you discover who truly supports your continued success, who stands with you through life’s ups and downs, and who you can keep close.

Over the past couple of years, as I’ve stepped into a new chapter of leadership, I’ve noticed subtle shifts in a few long‑standing friendships. People who once reached out regularly or valued my perspective became quieter and less engaged. One friend, who had often asked for my insight, pulled back and later commented to others, “She’s in a different place now.”

That moment reminded me of something important: when your life evolves — especially later in your life and career — not everyone knows how to adjust. Your priorities shift, your boundaries strengthen, and your influence changes. Some friends adapt with you. Some leave quietly. Others struggle with the transition, even if they never say it directly.

Remember, good and supportive friends don’t compete with you, punish you for changing, or demand you stay the same. They respect your new boundaries and responsibilities. They help you celebrate and get your brag on while giving you space to do what you need to do.

While everyone needs good relationships — and they are a major part of life — you may need to create new guidelines for supportive friends who stay:

  • Shift what you share and talk about.
  • Maintain connection differently (e.g., emails, texts).
  • Protect attention to different confidentiality and ethics issues that arise.

How to Handle Friends Who Unfriend You (or Quietly Pull Away)

Some friends will resent your changes. Some will quietly withdraw.

When friends unfriend you:

  • Accept the shift instead of chasing them
  • Don’t defend yourself or justify your changes or new successes
  • Don’t internalize their jealousy or insecurity
  • Stay factual and professional if their criticism spills into the workplace or with other friends
  • Don’t diminish or let go of the progress you’ve made

Remember, life changes … and so do you, especially at this time in your life. It’s time to develop friendships that support your life and career changes.

Friends You May Need to Unfriend

In this legacy phase of your career, you naturally become more selective about who has access to you. Not everyone can go with you into your next chapter — and that’s not failure. That’s wisdom.

Some friendships become liabilities when you hang on too long. They:

  • Expect more than you can give
  • Gossip or undermine your credibility
  • Make inappropriate comments at your expense (e.g., diminish your successes, or dismiss your changes as important)
  • Violate ethics or ask you to overlook their behavior

Clinging to old friendships causes a loss of self. Don’t hang on — move on. It’s a signal to develop new relationships in this new phase of your life.

How to Handle Your New Role and Your Friends

  • Don’t share confidential information about the past
  • Don’t overshare about your changes
  • Let your actions speak for themselves
  • Avoid being pulled backwards (it’s sneaky)
  • Don’t let old loyalties compromise you, your life, or what’s next

How to have the “tough” conversations with current friends:

  • Initiate conversations and stop waiting for your “friend” to do so
  • Don’t ghost them or ignore them if they reach out
  • Meet and share, in general terms, your new focus
  • Honor your inner power and don’t let anyone violate it
  • Don’t become their coach, instead remain their friend

Don’t be afraid to:

  • Talk with a therapist about changes occurring in your life
  • Work with an executive “legacy” coach to guide you forward
  • Invite new people for lunch, dinner, or get‑togethers — many have amazing stories that will inspire you
  • Value those long‑term friendships that make you feel good
  • Stop waiting for permission and make long overdue changes

Your legacy is shaped not only by what you achieve, but by the relationships you can and nurture and the ones you release. Protecting your emotional well‑being, your ethics, and your leadership presence is part of leaving a strong legacy.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Your legacy won’t wait — and neither should you. If you’re experiencing shifting friendships, new responsibilities, or changing priorities, now is the time to get the clarity and support you need. Contact me today and take the next step toward the legacy and future you’re building.

Boredom Is the Excuse We Use to Avoid What Matters

Boredom may feel familiar, but it’s not the root cause of dissatisfaction. It’s the early warning sign that something in your work, career growth, or life direction needs attention. When you ignore it, you repeat the same patterns. When you pay attention, it points to the real issues: poor job fit, stagnation, avoidance of goals, or a lack of meaningful focus. Your legacy is shaped by what you do next: avoid the signal or act on it.

When Boredom Shows Up, It’s Pointing to Something Deeper

Are You in the Right Job?  According to multiple studies, over 80 percent of employees are in jobs that don’t fit them. When job fit is off, boredom becomes a symptom, not the cause. Ask yourself whether your boredom is tied to tasks and challenges you don’t care about, or the overall job responsibilities. Work with a career coach or executive coach to get focused on what’s next. Then, take the steps required to move forward.

Do You Take Time to Learn? More than half of the workforce experiences job boredom daily, and one of the biggest contributors is stagnation. Learning, whether through online courses, on-site workshops, self-training, or talking with others about their roles, keeps your brain engaged and your career and life moving forward. Helping others achieve their goals can also reignite your own motivation.

Do You Volunteer? Volunteering is a powerful way to give back to your community or represent your company. It’s also a proven way to develop leadership, communication, and problem-solving skills. When you stretch yourself in new environments, you bring that energy back to your job, often feeling reenergized, more confident, and more capable than before.

Do You Pursue Long-Term Goals? Avoiding your personal goals creates frustration and, yes, boredom. You have the time, use it. Whether it’s writing a book, finishing a certification, or completing a creative project, progress in your personal life often boosts satisfaction at work.

Do You Have Something to Look Forward To? Hiring the right coach to pursue your passions (weight loss, exercise, learning a second language, music, woodworking, or anything else) creates momentum. When you have meaningful activities outside of work, you’re more focused and productive during the day so you can enjoy what matters most to you after hours.

Nearly 50 percent of Americans say they’re bored at work and employees report being bored at work for more than 10 hours per week. Remember, boredom is real, but it’s rarely the root issue of your dissatisfaction. It’s a signal. The question is whether you’ll use boredom as an excuse or as a catalyst to pursue your career and life goals.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people in empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Boredom is a signal, not a sentence. This week, choose one area in your life or career to deep-dive, volunteer, or pursue a long‑ignored goal. Take a single step forward. Momentum comes from action, not excuses. Reach out when you’re ready to get clear about what’s next.

Are You Feeling Restless and Not Clear About What You Need to Do?

There are many reasons you could be feeling restless in your career or job, and unsure what to do about it (pick one or two that resonate with you):

  • Poor job fit (you have the skills, but not the interest)
  • Plateau in career (hit a ceiling and need a new direction)
  • Doing the minimum work (lack of initiative)
  • Unable or unwilling to move forward (self-doubt)
  • Need more variety (boredom – your daily tasks or responsibilities haven’t evolved)
  • Time to expand (not clear how or what to do)
  • You’ve outgrown your current role or professional identity (your skills and capacity have expanded, but your job hasn’t)

Many times, when restlessness appears, there is a sense your current role isn’t matching your capacity or values. Or, another way of saying it, you may not be in the right job anymore. Yes, you have the skills, but the work doesn’t awaken your inner leader, or as others call it, your inner dharma or purpose.

Sometimes restlessness shows up when your professional identity has grown, but your current role hasn’t evolved to match it.

You may be bored because your boss fails to give you new projects, or because you fail to take initiative to ask for more or get involved in other opportunities.

You may have outgrown an old definition of yourself and your external world hasn’t caught up.

You blame your boss, company, or other external factors.

But … let’s look internally.

Here’s a quick self-check (a suggestion from AI):

“If I took a week away from work, would the restlessness disappear or still be there?”

  • If it disappears → it’s job fit or role design.
  • If it stays → it’s career direction or professional identity.
  • If it intensifies → you’re ready for a bigger role or new chapter.

What Can You Do?

Hire an Executive Coach. This is a smart step to ensure you’re clear about what you’ve done, what you want to do, and whether your current role is a true fit. Too many people stay in jobs that don’t fit them or try to mimic others’ careers and successes. This rarely works out well. Take the time. Get the coaching. Take the actions that actually move you forward.

An executive woman who had built her identity around being “a finance person” moved through several financial roles and clung tightly to that professional narrative. When a coach encouraged her to consider operations, which would have expanded her depth and breadth of career opportunities, she rejected the idea outright because it didn’t align with the vision she tightly held for herself. A couple of years later, she found herself once again searching for another finance position, illustrating how staying narrowly defined can limit growth rather than protect it.

This reflects how strongly people can resist paths that challenge their self‑concept, even when those paths might expand their long‑term opportunities and career fulfillment.

Complete a Qualified Job Fit Assessment. Again, job fit is key. Yes, I keep repeating this because so many people settle for a paycheck while doing work that either stresses them or bores them. Make sure you use a qualified job fit tool that focuses on interests, thinking style, and core behavioral traits. Most employers use assessments incorrectly, so it’s wise to work with an executive coach who uses the right tools.

Envision Your Career Future. Explore what exists beyond other people’s expectations, especially because many of us don’t actually know what we want. It’s easy to fall into imitation, apathy, or well‑meant advice that doesn’t match what we’re truly seeking. Unfortunately, it’s easier to stay in jobs that don’t fit simply because we like the people even while the work drains us.

Clarity becomes essential. If you’re not ready to branch into a more fulfilling role, you can still honor your interests by weaving them into your personal life. Whether that means taking a painting class, repairing bikes, or finding any outlet that reconnects you with what energizes you. This kind of personal expansion can then naturally morph into other areas of your life, including your job and career, opening doors you couldn’t see before.

Honor Yourself. It’s easy to give up and tell yourself that being stuck is for “the best.” Instead, take one small action step forward. Then, another. Keep steps small. For example, block one hour each week to explore roles, projects, or responsibilities that energize you now, not the ones you accepted years ago. Along the way, you will create clarity about what to pursue. Remember, talking about making changes over and over will NOT create a positive difference. Your actions create your motivation for what’s next.

Remember, restlessness is often the first sign that your career is ready for its next chapter.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

Remember, restlessness is often the first sign that your career is ready for its next chapter. It doesn’t disappear by waiting. Contact me for a confidential conversation today to explore what’s next.

 

Use Self-Doubt to Build Self Confidence

Self-doubt shows up in everyone’s career. Often it sounds like a “little voice in your head” insisting you’re not ready, not capable, or not enough. But that voice isn’t a stop sign. It’s a signal you’re stepping into growth. When you learn to use self-doubt instead of fighting it, you turn hesitation into confidence and momentum.

Have you ever heard the “little voice in your head” say:

  • “NO!”
  • “You’ll fail.”
  • “You can’t.”
  • “You’re not smart enough.”
  • “You’re too old.”
  • “You don’t have what it takes to succeed.”

You’re not alone. Everyone experiences self-doubt. It shows up when fear or uncertainty creeps in. It’s normal for anyone moving forward in their career or life. But don’t let it derail your goals, career choices, legacy, or leadership. Use it to build confidence by stepping into those moments of discomfort, uncertainty, and mental chatter.

Confidence is an inside job. It’s trusting yourself and recognizing that self-doubt often signals progress.

7 Ways to Use Self-Doubt to Build Confidence

  1. Self-Talk with Your Brags. Internal chatter can derail you, especially when trying something new. Complete the Brag! exercises in Get Your Brag On! Focus on what you’ve already achieved because you’ve achieved a lot and doing so turns self-doubt into confidence.
  2. Replace Fear. Repeat “I am enough!” at least 50 times in the mirror. (I know this sounds like too much but it works.) Many people experience Imposter Syndrome, especially women, because they don’t feel like they are enough or have enough … regardless of credentials or awards. When self-doubt appears, talk it out with your executive coach. Identify the real source of the fear (e.g., seeking approval, working with a difficult team member, making the right hiring decisions).
  3. Learn Something New. Everyone started their career not knowing something. Return to the basics and learn from the ground up. It builds confidence and influence because you understand how things work and where to adjust. When you set aside your ego, you learn faster and are more effective in achieving results.
  4. Perfection Isn’t Perfect. Perfectionism creates stress, conflict, and missed milestones. Even when we do a good job, there will be mistakes made along the way. Relax, trust the process, and ask for help when needed. More importantly, learn from your mistakes.
  5. Make the Best Decision You Can. Identify three must‑haves for your project, new vehicle, or next job. Then get three quotes or proposals. When selecting a book editor, I reviewed three viable candidates and chose the one that met my criteria. The cheapest or most expensive isn’t always the best.
  6. Accept All Feedback Graciously. When receiving negative feedback, don’t let self-doubt take over. Get specifics. Be open to hearing what’s being said. It’s how you improve. Ask, “What is your most specific concern, and why is it important to you?” Listen, learn, and incorporate what’s appropriate. If you refuse to learn from feedback, self-doubt wins.
  7. Trust and Believe in Yourself. Everyone fails at times. If you’re unwilling to work past your self-doubt and take focused action, you rarely achieve intended results. Work with your executive coach to explore options. For example, if you dislike selling, becoming a financial planner won’t be a successful career choice today.

Use your self-doubt as a guide, not a barrier. Lean into the discomfort, apply these seven practices, and take the next step forward … no matter how small. Confidence grows through action, reflection, and consistency. Start today.

©Jeannette Seibly 2021–2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

For success in 2026, leaders must use their self-doubt to learn about themselves and how to be unstoppable. Contact me to learn how.

 

Do You Allow Self-Doubt to Sabotage Your Results?

Self‑doubt is far more common among leaders than most people admit. It shows up when coaching team members, navigating project snafus, or learning new skills. The good news is that everyone experiences self‑doubt, including the most effective leaders.

The bad news is that self‑doubt often convinces leaders to stop doing the work needed to move forward, avoid needed conversations, or allow fear to take over the driver’s wheel. That’s precisely when self-doubt wins and you stop, which is the wrong move.

Self‑doubt may feel like a stop sign, but more often it’s a green light. It signals that you’re entering unfamiliar territory, a place where growth, innovation, and new results become possible. The real challenge is not the doubt itself, but the lack of clarity, skills, or perspective needed to move forward. That’s where mentors, coaches, and collaborators make all the difference.

Using Self-Doubt as Leverage

Take Time for Reflection: What Worked / What Didn’t Work

This simple exercise, grounded in objective data, reveals what needs attention: conversations, work assignments, your expectations, or structural changes to the project or how you leverage an opportunity. Without data, self‑doubt fills in the blanks with fear instead of facts.

Have the Tough Conversations

These conversations aren’t easy, but they don’t have to be painful. Preparation matters. Use your reflection data, stay open to feedback, and be willing to hear what you may have missed.

Plan to Listen for:

  • signals where you’re on the right track
  • where you went off-track
  • gaps in conversations or financial projections
  • team members doing the bare minimum
  • quiet changes that could derail the project

Ask Open‑Ended Questions

Listening is your competitive advantage. There may be unseen dynamics slowing progress: political, relational, or operational. A mentor, executive coach, or industry expert can help you interpret what you’re hearing. Always ask: “What would you do?”

Be Coachable

Admitting there’s a problem is uncomfortable. Hearing someone else point it out can be even harder. But coachability is a leadership multiplier. Stay more committed to results than to ego. If doubt persists, talk with one or two additional mentors (not five or ten) to uncover what’s really driving your hesitation.

A company owner frustrated with poor hiring results blamed candidates, recruiters, and the economy. The real issue? He wasn’t using valid, legal, and scientifically sound selection tools to understand a candidate’s thinking style, behavioral traits, and occupational interests. His biases were not objective data. But he used them to drive decisions. Retention dropped. Customers left.

To achieve true job fit (and keep customers), use objective, replicable data to transform hiring quality and your long‑term results.

Ask Yourself: “What Can I Learn?”

This is one of the most important questions. Self‑doubt always carries a message. Ask: “What is this teaching me?” Listen for the answer in silence, not in the noise of others’ opinions. Then turn insight into action by talking with your coach, taking a course (or teaching one), and having the conversation(s) you’ve been avoiding.

© Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience guiding leaders and executives to achieve exceptional results. She delivers practical coaching and innovative solutions for hiring, leadership development, and performance success. Successful leaders have coaches—connect with Jeannette to elevate your results and impact in 2026.

Overcoming self-doubt when faced with a challenge can be difficult. That’s why having an executive coach to guide you through the process is important. Contact me for a confidential conversation to discover where you are sabotaging your results.

Conversations That Create Solutions

As we move through different seasons of life and leadership, we often notice issues in how systems work, how departments communicate, or how some employees do just enough to get by. We can join the complaining. Or we can choose conversations that create clarity, collaboration, and solutions.

Practical approaches to turning problems into progress:

  1. Have preliminary conversations. Ask trusted people, mentors, or your coach, what they believe the problem is. What others inside the company share is rarely the whole story, so stay curious rather than believing the first explanation as the truth. Also, don’t keep having these types of conversations without forward moving progress.
  2. Ask what they would do to resolve it. When someone says, “It is what it is,” invite them to think outside the box: “Give me three possible solutions.” Then pause. Silence allows people to think. Write the ideas down even if you don’t agree with them. As you build a solution, keep them handy.
  3. Pull together only those involved to build a solution. Avoid calling in an entire team or department when the issue involves one or two people. Meet with the true influencers, title or not, and gather their insights. If it is a department- or team-wide issue, bring everyone together.
  4. Send out an agenda so everyone knows the purpose and discussion points. At the start, ask if anything else needs to be added. Also, ensure effective meeting protocols are followed (e.g., turn off electronic devices, listen, etc.).
  5. Conduct a psychologically safe meeting where every voice is heard and respected. Beware of your own biases or that of other leaders in the room that can shut down sharing and idea-generation.
  6. Identify a solution. If more information is needed, document who will do what by when. Never skip this step. Write it down and include in minutes of the meeting. Send out minutes within 24 to 48 hours.
  7. Follow up and follow through. Accountability and responsibility often solve the very issues that created the problem. Remember, you’re listening for resolution, inclusion of others, and current and future impact.
  8. Send a positive group update and keep your own leader informed.
  9. Start with a “debrief.” To bring teams together, have each person list a one thing that worked and one thing that did not work. Remember, this is sharing, a psychological safe space. Acknowledge everyone. Then share the issue that brought everyone together. You may find the issue resolved through this exercise.
  10. Use a job‑fit assessment with a qualified facilitator. This is a great way to bring team members together that are sniping or disparaging others. Then pair people to discuss differences. The relief and insights gained from the objective data can be remarkable.

©Jeannette Seibly 2026 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Leadership Results Coach, Talent Advisor, and Business Author with 33 years of experience activating greatness in leaders and companies. She delivers practical coaching and solutions that elevate performance today, build legacies that stand the test of time, and support people empowering themselves to lead with clarity and impact.

For success in 2026, leaders must stop ignoring issues and create viable solutions. Having effective conversations is crucial. Contact me for a confidential conversation.

How Do You Listen Effectively?

In creating our legacy and shaping our future, we must learn how to listen effectively. How you listen honors your legacy and the legacy of others. This is critical as you move forward in creating and fulfilling projects, supporting communities that are important to you, and supporting neighbors and family who enjoy being with you.

However, too often we listen through our own filters:

  • Biases, judgments, or assumptions about whether someone’s story “fits” what we already believe.
  • Listening to reply, not to understand.
  • Thinking of the next thing we want to say.
  • Making a quick decision that the person isn’t worth listening to.

The above are examples of not truly listening. In fact, if you have a response ready before the person finishes speaking, you’re not really listening!

Why Listening Matters for Your Legacy

Listening is more than a skill. It’s a way of honoring stories, discerning values, and building meaningful connections. For adults 55+, listening deeply allows us to:

  • Capture wisdom that might otherwise be lost.
  • Strengthen relationships by truly hearing what matters.
  • Shape our legacy by aligning words, actions, and values.
  • Create communities where every voice is valued, and every story has impact.

Other Considerations for Listening in Everyday Life 

  • Attention to detail: Do you notice the pauses, memories, and details that reveal care and intention?
  • Reactionary or calm: Do they respond with patience, or with quick judgment? A calm tone reveals resilience. A reactionary tone indicates they are still dealing with their anger and the unfairness of the situation.
  • Community spirit: Are they positively contributing to family, friendships, or community events?
  • Openness to growth: Even later in life, are they willing to learn, adapt, or grow?

Listening Beyond Words 

  • Consistency between words and actions: Do their stories match how they live? Listen for three examples or themes that reveal true values.
  • Ownership of mistakes and failures: Can they admit missteps and explain what they learned? That’s wisdom worth passing on.
  • Curiosity and initiative: Do they ask questions about others, the world, or legacy? Genuine curiosity signals engagement.
  • Values alignment: Notice whether their personal values resonate with the community you want to build. Do themes like autonomy, service, or sustainability keep surfacing?
  • Communication clarity: Can they share complex life lessons in ways others can understand and carry forward?

 Practical Listening Habits to Build Your Legacy

  • Pause before responding. Silence often reveals more than a rushed answer.
  • Listen for patterns, not isolated statements. One polished story doesn’t equal consistency in how one lives life.
  • Note emotional tone. Calm confidence differs from rehearsed charm.
  • Separate impression from evidence. Write down what you heard versus what you felt. Then, compare. If it’s not consistent, ask yourself: Are they truly sharing, or just talking to talk? Or, do I need to “level up” my listening?

Remember, what you do to honor your legacy and the legacy of others begins and ends with the way you listen.

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy-driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Amazon Best-Selling Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values-based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Do you want to improve your listening? Do you journal? Contact me, and I’ll send you a complimentary copy of Journaling Prompts: Practicing Deep Listening.

Do You Have Problems Working with Authority?

Do you:

  • Deny having authority issues and place blame for mistakes on your boss?
  • Look for approval from your boss and seldom get it?
  • Ignore advice and instead argue for your point-of-view?
  • Do it your way when your boss or board says, “No”?
  • Have a team that bickers a lot?

Can you imagine NFL team players thumbing their nose at the coach when told to adopt a new game strategy? I cannot either.

Yet, many times, business leaders fail to work well with authority! They believe they know how things should work and fail to listen to sage advice on how it normally works. This closed mindset costs them valuable time, money, and energy that could have been better used for business success.

7 Tips to Improve Effective Working Relationships

  1. Recognize You Have a Problem. Awareness is the first step toward meaningful change. When you cringe because someone sounds like your mom, dad, or teacher, you have a trigger. Heal the relationship with your parent(s) and you will go further faster as a leader.
  2. Learn to Positively Handle Feedback and Criticism. Many times, when you get triggered, it has nothing to do with the feedback. It’s an automatic reaction from your ego saying, “Don’t talk to me that way.” Breathe. Put your feelings into words. Learn to ask questions for clarification. If you truly listen, you will find your boss’s insights (or someone else’s) were “right on.”
  3. Encourage Brainstorming and Listening to New Ideas. When you or your team know-it-all and rely only on past efforts, you will fail to get to the core issue or true solution. Be open to listening to others … it saves time and money while creating viable solutions.
  4. Resolve Conflict Before It Derails Results. Leaders who avoid authority often create unnecessary conflict. Their poor communication styles and inconsistent work ethics make it hard for team members to succeed. Unresolved tension drains energy and stalls progress. Proactive leaders seek coaching and support to address issues early—before they escalate and negatively impact performance.
  5. Learn to Delegate. If you want to achieve true leadership, you must stop doing it yourself and learn to trust your team! To expand your business, sales results, and influence with your team, create a team that is resilient, reliable, and resourceful. That starts with your willingness to listen and work well with your boss, board, team, and customers.
  6. Get Over, “Do It My Way.” Life is not about doing everything “your way.” Yet, there are many stories on social media about DIYers. It takes maturity and experience to work well with your boss, team, customers, business, and bottom line. You will make mistakes. But your ability to learn from those mistakes and seek counsel will improve your results.
  7. Take a Good Long Look in the Mirror. If you are a leader that acts as a lone ranger, be aware your team members will mimic you! While you may believe this is OK, at some point, it will create irrevocable issues at the wrong time! Learn to be coachable and understand there are other workable ways to get the best results.

Everyone has an authority figure: boss, board, team, and/or customers. They that provide invaluable feedback and criticism when you listen. Failure to listen and learn will sideline your career.

© Jeannette Seibly, 2021–2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy-driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Amazon Best-Selling Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values-based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Take the time to develop effective working relationships, be coachable, and take feedback, while learning from your mistakes. This is can be impossible to do on your own. If this true for you, contact me for a confidential conversation.

Are You Open to Listening?

Most of you would say, “Of course.”

But earlier today, when a co-worker or employee needed to talk, you played Spider Solitaire or let your thoughts wander while they spoke. Then, when they asked a question, you replied, “Could you please repeat that? I wasn’t listening.” You do that more than once.

I remember coaching a young man whose company had asked me to support his leadership growth. During the call, I suspected he wasn’t listening. I asked what he was doing.

He twitched and said, “Listening.”

“No, what are you really doing?”

He gave a sheepish grin and admitted he was watching a newsfeed on his phone.

“You do remember the purpose of these calls is to prepare you for a promotion, correct?” He nodded.

“As a leader, you need to learn how to truly listen—especially when you don’t want to hear what someone is saying.”

He asked, “Why? If they’re boring or I’ve heard it before?”

I responded, “Because in your listening, you and others can hear something new … a solution … new opportunity … new possibility. It’s how you develop your leadership—and your people. Otherwise, your legacy might be, ‘He never listened.’”

Several years ago, I was walking in the one-mile parklike setting where I live. There are usually plenty of people out with their dogs. Sometimes, they’ll even talk with you!

I recognized a dog, so I stopped to pet her. I asked the woman, “How are you doing? How’s Sadie?” She’d adopted the dog just a month earlier.

She said, “I’m good. Sadie’s doing well, too.” I smiled. Then she added, “I had been visualizing this dog. Other opportunities fell through, but I kept visualizing. Now, here she is.”

Why was this important to me? My cat had just passed away. I wasn’t sure if I wanted another. But in that moment of being open and listening, I knew I did. Later, I started visualizing. Even cut out a picture. Within a short time, I adopted Remy from the local humane shelter.

It happened because I was open to listening.

What Do You Need to Do to Improve Your Openness to Listening?

  • Be Curious. You don’t know it all. You never will. When you bring curiosity to your listening, you learn, grow, and develop ideas or dreams.
  • Ask Questions. There are books filled with conversation starters. They’re helpful. When using these ideas, these prompts can also unlock deeper thoughts you’ve been mulling over. If you don’t have a book with question starters, use your curiosity and ask open-ended questions. This is much better than gossiping—or recycling the same old ideas.
  • Humble Up. Your ego will try to protect you by refusing to listen. When you hear new ideas, you might feel excited… then uncomfortable… then fearful. That’s a good sign. It means the ideas are nudging you forward. Acknowledge your feelings—and keep the ideas flowing. Then, take focused action on one of them! What opened up?

Here’s another way to look at it: Wouldn’t it be better if your legacy said, “He was a great boss because he really listened,” rather than, “I hated going to work each day because he never listened to anything I said.”

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a legacy-driven Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Amazon Best-Selling Business Author. For over 33 years, she has empowered thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve sustainable success through strategic hiring, values-based coaching, and intentional leadership development. Her work blends clarity, accountability, and soulful impact—activating performance and purpose at every level.

Ready to elevate your openness to positively impact your next chapter? Let’s talk.