How Do You Improve Being Coachable, Especially When You Don’t Want To?

“Why have a coach? Because a coach has you do what you don’t want to do so you can become amazingly successful!” Jeannette Seibly

Note: This is a reprint of the #1 article for 2022.

We’ve all been coachable and uncoachable. It’s part of being human.

Being coachable: You listen for feedback from people regardless of your feelings about them.

Being uncoachable and challenging to work with: You refuse to listen to others even when they are great results-producers.

Why are you uncoachable? It could be your:

  • Readiness to hear feedback or advice
  • Humiliation of what occurred (e.g., poorly done presentation)
  • Low self-esteem or ego
  • Workplace environment views coaching negatively
  • Need to do it your way or on your own

Regardless of your reasoning, developing your listening skills and being coachable is critical.

The bottom line is that every successful leader, boss, and high-performance person has a coach! Think of the NBA, business leaders, and sales teams with excellent sales results. They know that while the advice and feedback may not be delivered flawlessly to their liking, it’s important to be coachable. Setting aside their ego avoids costly errors, team conflict, and poor customer results.

How Do You Improve Being Coachable and Achieve the Success You Really Want?

Be Present and Make the Time. “Is it an appropriate time to talk?” For example, bosses may call you when your kids demand your attention, or you’re in a department store. When this happens, ask, “Can I call you back in ½ hour when I can hear you?” Then, make the call in ½ an hour! Why? When distracted, you cannot present what is being said and will overlook critical feedback details.

Listen to Feedback About You. Listen carefully when the feedback originates from a team member, customer, or executive. There is an important lesson to learn here. To be coachable, listen without defending your actions, words, or thoughts about the person who complained. Instead, a couple of questions to ask: “Can you be more specific?” and “What would you recommend that I do?”

Transform Your Mindset When You Make Mistakes. There will be days you don’t do your best, create team conflict, or say the wrong thing. When someone complains, your ego will feel the need to defend your actions and blame others for the results. Breathe! Apologize! Stick with the facts, not your feelings about the person, situation, or other factors. Instead, ask, “What can I specifically do to change the outcome?” Remember, your future career options require taking responsibility and being coachable!

Review All Project Results Before, During, and After. Too often, you’re open and ready to hear feedback when a project is working. But when a project has or is about to fail, you become defensive, stop listening, and turn it into a debate. Remember, there is always room for improvement. In preparation for these crucial conversations, complete this exercise: “What Worked?/What Didn’t Work?”

Seek Out Coaching When You Need Clarity. There is a myth that you need to know the answer before asking for help. It’s not true! Instead, be open to listening to the feedback and be coachable. For example, ask, “Do you have 5 minutes? I’m unclear on what I need to do to make this project work?” Share the specifics about the goal and actions taken. Always say, “Thank you.” Even when you don’t like their answers be coachable. It could make the difference between successful results and failure.

Listen for the Gold … especially when the little voice in your head is chirping, “I don’t want or need to hear it.” It takes practice to master the skill of being coachable. In turn, you will accelerate your leadership development, relationships, and business results.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A Note from Jeannette about being coachable: Successful leaders have coaches. Being coachable isn’t hard if you’re open to feedback and asking for help. Start with your coach to resolve a challenging situation or relationship today. These issues rarely disappear on their own! Do you feel stuck? Not clear what the real problem is? You’re not alone. Contact me for a confidential conversation.

When was the last time you got honest about your leadership issues? Many employees today do not trust their bosses and leaders. Many leaders believe they already understand their blind spots. But they fail to get objective data to help them do the right things correctly. It’s essential to get actual objective data to improve your leadership. Click here for details.

Healing Our Inner Power Determines Our Leadership Success

Grateful Giving: Happy holidays! In appreciation to my readers, I will give an additional one-hour of coaching for 50% off during the month of December, 2022. To participate, complete your Leadership PXTS Report and one-hour review, then, schedule your extra hour. Here’s additional information and link: Your blind spots limit what is possible in your career and business. Too often, we get stuck in how we look at a problem or a relationship. It defines our results! As a leader, it’s critical you discover your blind spots and reclaim your ability to influence and inspire others before it’s too late. Learn more by clicking here.

THE ARTICLE:

“Our inner power needs care like every other aspect of our health and well-being.” Jeannette Seibly

Inner power is the quiet force within you that knows when to act and when to move and gives you the strength to do so. (Psychology Today)

Many leaders experience a loss of inner power during professional and life challenges. Inner power helps you stay resilient and resourceful and bounce back after a loss. But when there is the experience of the loss of a job title, money, family status, zip code, or health, many leaders attempt to hide their feelings of guilt or shame. Instead, take the time to recognize what occurred and do the work to move forward. (An excellent way to objectively discover what happened is to complete the worksheet “What Worked? / What Didn’t Work?)

How to recognize a loss of inner power or strength. When you feel ineffective, or no one cares, you are controlling and challenging to work with, or you are feeling fear due to a person’s upset, you’ve lost your ability to influence and inspire others.

Healing Ideas to Reclaim Your Inner Power

  1. Make the Decision. Nothing can genuinely change until you become responsible for where you are now and then commit to moving forward. In my many conversations with leaders who have experienced a loss of inner power, they remember this declaration. It became the line in the sand of before and after. It’s when they get into focused action to move forward.
  2. Hire a Coach. The best way to move past a business or career loss is to get help. Work with the right coach to guide you in the right direction without the devastating ups and downs of trial and error. Please don’t make the common mistake of doing it yourself to avoid feeling shame or guilt. It’ll be harder to move on and achieve the needed wins.
  3. Know Yourself. Many leaders believe they do know themselves. But forget they have blind spots and talents they are unaware of. Now is a good time to discover them and learn new ways to develop these strengths. Remember, you cannot build your inner power on weaknesses.
  4. Build Healthy Relationships. Take the time to build sound professional, personal, and family relationships. Spend time with like-minded people by reaching out and taking the time to learn about them. Don’t forget to offer help as appropriate.
  5. Get Focused. When a loss occurs, take time to grieve. If you don’t, it’ll come out unexpectedly and hurt your progress. For example, if your loss of power is due to a job or financial loss, it may be time to review the direction or path you’ve been pursuing.
  6. Hire a Therapist. It can speed up the healing process. Take the time to conduct a “brag” inventory, and include strengths and successes you’ve experienced. This helps you focus on “what’s next” instead of living in the past.
  7. Be Mindful. Practice mindful breathing and learn to be present during conversations. It’s where the aha’s occur! Love yourself for who you are and who you are not. Now is a great time for self-reflection. Journalling will help you learn from the experience.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about healing an inner loss of power: During this economic uncertainty, it’s easy to experience a loss of inner power. Pause and take the time to look at what’s working and what you are grateful for. Are your goals and life in conflict? Now’s the time to talk it out! Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Your blind spots limit what is possible in your career and business. Too often, we get stuck in how we look at a problem or a relationship. It defines our results! As a leader, it’s critical you discover your blind spots and reclaim your ability to influence and inspire others before it’s too late. Click here for details.

Many Employers Are Feeling the Pressure to Increase Wages

“Everyone thinks money keeps employees. But they forget money doesn’t motivate!” Jeannette Seibly

A friend had demanded a pay increase from his boss and got it. He felt excited to get the money until he realized it put him in a new tax bracket. So now, he’s looking for a different motivator to continue doing a job he doesn’t even enjoy.

Everyone wants to make more money. They believe it’ll motivate them to like their jobs! The truth is, if they are in the wrong position due to poor job fit, it won’t matter what you’re paying them. They’ll still experience job dissatisfaction. Therefore, employers must become innovative and create new ways to compensate their employees, along with fair wages.

The BIG question is, “How can I compensate and motivate employees to attract and keep them?”

9 Ways to Compensate and Retain Employees to Improve Job Satisfaction

Job Fit. Yes, I know, I mention this a lot. But the fact is, studies show that when people fit their work, they thrive. They are less likely to focus on money to offset job dissatisfaction. Use a strategic selection process and qualified job fit assessments to improve your selection decisions for new hires, rehires, and job transfers and promotions.

Ask. Ask, “What do you really really really want?” It’s the best place to start. You may be surprised that their requests are not about increasing their paychecks! (Unless you’re paying below industry standards.) If you do this, you’ll be surprised by what you learn.

Benefit Options. Provide spending dollars and options for additional vacation, childcare, personal time off, working remotely, and fun activities.

Perks and Gift Cards. Provide prizes for different challenges. Remember, some will enjoy group prizes, while others value individual recognition.

Education with Accredited Schools. Many are looking for education reimbursement or the company paying for tuition and books up front. This allows your employees to grow.

Company Workshops. Provide 1:1 training and development programs, both online and in-person. These should include technical, leadership, and soft skills training. Provide a certificate of completion and have it noted in their HR record.

Other Learning Opportunities. Partner with local experts to provide personal courses: money and financial management, how to buy your first home, Medicare options, and how to brag. These courses should include certificates of completion.

Provide Expanded Opportunities: Interdepartmental Teams, Association or Trade Boards, or Community Outreach Programs or Boards. These opportunities provide growth and development and are highly favored among many employees. They provide invaluable ways to develop and gain leadership skills and confidence in using them. Be sure they have a mentor to work through the sticky situations and political relationships in these groups.

Train to Be Coaches. Offer experienced employees the opportunity to coach newer employees. Provide a well-designed training program and certificate for these new coaches. The selling point is that these are invaluable skills to learn and develop and can be used on the job, at home, or in community activities.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about different ways to compensate and retain employees: Many employees today want more money. But they fail to realize that money is not a motivator. However, other perks, benefits, and opportunities can be. Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Do you know if you’re doing a poor job of managing others? Would you like to know whether or not you are? As a leader or future leader, you must learn how to get the job done by working with and through others for great results. To learn more, click here.

Do You Have the Leadership Wisdom to Influence Others?

“Your ability to influence others requires not taking yourself too seriously.” Jeannette Seibly

Often, as leaders, we take ourselves too seriously and lose our ability to influence others. Then, our results suffer, and so do our customers, team members, and bottom line.

How do you know when you’re taking yourself too seriously? When you …

  • Fail to build on ideas and create win-win-win outcomes.
  • Openly disparage others that disagree with you.
  • Exclude people with broader experience instead of learning from them.
  • Defend your limited experience in an attempt to feel better about yourself.

… you are taking yourself too seriously.

Instead, can you …

  • Discuss others’ opinions without being defensive?
  • Take an idea or concept and build it into a win-win-win outcome?
  • Laugh at yourself?
  • See the bigger picture and reframe it into bite-size pieces to get everyone on the same page?
  • Make decisions that balance both the facts and the human interests?

If you answered yes to these questions, good for you! You are on the right track as a leader and influencer. And you’re not taking yourself too seriously.

However, if you answered no to any of these questions, these are areas of your leadership style that can negatively impact your ability to influence others and need development.

Remember, influencing others is essential to effective leadership … not our technical know-how.

4 Key Ways to Influence Others and Achieve Intended Results

When you stop taking yourself too seriously, we create a workplace culture focusing on results, relationships, and meeting customers’ needs. The following four key ways to influence others are critical to that success.

Practice Persuasive Listening. The secret to becoming an influencer is to listen more – talk less! When listening, you must silence your internal mental chatterbox and refrain from thinking about your next response while others are talking. Effective and persuasive listening is one of the top leadership skills required to guide new solutions that might not be readily apparent.

Be Open to Differing Opinions. The fastest way to lose your ability to influence others is when you become defensive, belittle others, or take a stand against others’ ideas. To be an influential leader, put aside your ego, listen, and ask questions or you’ll miss important details required for seamless execution.

Be a Team Player. Many leaders don’t make good team players. To be a great leader and influencer, you must be a great team player! Otherwise, you lose the ability to influence others and the outcomes of any project. Ask how you can help. Roll up your sleeves and get involved. When others make suggestions, you don’t understand or agree with, say, “Interesting. I don’t see how that would work. Can you walk me through the details?” Now listen and learn.

Appreciate Each and Every Team Member. Many leaders have team members they don’t like or don’t value. They allow their personal feelings and egos to get in the way. If you wish to influence others, you must learn to appreciate others and their contributions. Be genuine. Say to your team members: “I appreciate you.” “Great ideas!” “I look forward to working with you!” And, mean what you say!

©Jeannette L. Seibly, 2011-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about being a leader with the skills to influence others: Listening, developing ideas with your team, and acknowledging others are marks of a leader that positively influences others. Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Your blind spots get in the way of achieving the results you want. Improve your ability to influence others by clicking here.  

Stop Quiet Quitting and Create Solutions

“Boredom results from not stretching beyond your current skills.” Jeannette Seibly

According to Fortune, 82% of GenZs and Millennials are quietly quitting. When I shared this shocking stat with a friend, she talked about a young family member ignored by her bosses! The GenZer would like to take on more challenging work and has often asked for more opportunities. But each time, she continues to be dismissed. So, she quietly quit her job.

As a member of any generation, you can be part of the problem or part of the solution, whether you’re the boss or employee. When employees of all ages feel bored, not challenged, or experience long-term job dissatisfaction, it creates quiet quitting! Remember, problems always have solutions. Left unaddressed, quiet quitting can sabotage your profitability and results too.

Bosses, remember, GenZs and Millennials are our future. Now is the time to train, develop, and coach them to create good work and results-producing skills … not discourage them further.

Two Points of View to Prevent Quiet Quitting

1. First, learn about career blind spots.

Boss: Create a strategic selection system to collect objective, valid, and reliable data for your hiring, job transfers, and promotions, and rehire decisions.

Employee: While you chose your profession for various reasons, you’re suffering because the job doesn’t fit you! Before you keep job hopping, discover your blind spots and focus on job fit. Talk with an executive coach. It’ll save you from career disillusionment and giving up on yourself or pursuing jobs that don’t fit you.

2. Do your homework.

Boss: Stop relying on the interview as your primary source during the hiring process. Using a strategic selection system will improve collecting objective, valid, and reliable data.

Employee: Before taking a job, conduct your due diligence by asking questions of the interviewers and your professional network. Talk about training, education reimbursement, and other opportunities available to grow that are important to you. Remember, you will have many career options during your lifetime … it’s your responsibility to build on these and not blame your employer for your lack of success.

3. Create Depth of Knowledge.

Boss: Many employees hate repetitive work or being micromanaged. Look for opportunities to allow them to make mistakes and learn.

Employee: Ask for opportunities to dig deeper into accounting, human resources, marketing, etc. Start with learning the basics (e.g., math, accounting, sales, hiring and assessment legalities). The knowledge and ability to use this information correctly can promote you further faster.

4. Create a Breadth of Awareness.

Boss: Provide new opportunities for upskilling, reskilling, and training and development as part of your team members’ career path.

Employee: Take an active role in interdepartmental teams addressing company-wide issues. Listen, ask questions, and learn. This helps you develop and use your knowledge and skills to positively impact the company and its clients.

5. Stay Current.

Boss: Provide weekly department meetings and monthly 1:1 sessions. Discuss what’s working, what’s missing, and the resources needed. Don’t forget to include coaching on taking initiative and being resourceful.

Employee: It’s easy to get bored. But actually, it’s easier to make an effort to learn more and expand your knowledge about your current job. It’s up to you to take the initiative!

6. Attend Professional Association and/or Trade Meetings.

Boss: Provide budget dollars and opportunities for employees to attend these events.

Employee: Don’t be shy. Get out there to meet and greet others. Ask and listen to current and future issues in the industry you work in … or wish to work in.

7. Stop Hoping for Job Satisfaction and Create It.

Boss: It’s up to you to provide appropriate initiatives or challenges for each employee to enhance their job satisfaction.

Employee: Hope is not a strategy. Grab your “Brag” book and complete the 5 easy steps. Now, share your brags with your boss and create action steps for what’s next in developing your career path. Yes, you need to take an active part! PS: Use your brags during Performance Appraisals and work reviews too.

8. Keep Learning!

Boss: Provide budget dollars for ongoing training and development. Include online and onsite workshops. Remember, you’re creating the next generation of leaders!

Employee: Your brain loves to learn. Even if you have a degree or trade certification, take advantage of company training and workshops. Primarily focus on skills required for career growth:  emotional intelligence, communication, project management, and leadership. (Yes, even before you need them.) Don’t forget critical, often overlooked education: financial planning, money management, technical certificates (for non-technical people), etc.

9. Hire a Coach!

Boss and Employee: Find the money. Hire the coach. Remember, successful people of all ages have coaches.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about how to create solutions for quiet quitters: The challenge is that all employees need to take the initiative to develop their technical and other skills to have job satisfaction. As the boss, it’s your responsibility to get into action to guide the development of these needed skills. Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Quiet quitters often have unrecognized blind spots that get in the way of job satisfaction. It’s essential for you to uncover them now, before you quit or are transferred or promoted to new positions (remember the Confucius quote: “Where ever you go, go with all your heart.”):  https://bit.ly/BeEffectiveLeader

Learn How to Spot Toxic Future Employees During Job Interviews

“Toxic employees diminish trust while sabotaging the company, customers, and team.” Jeannette Seibly

A leader recently asked me, “How do you spot a narcissist during a job interview?” He’d just fired one. I shared that they and other types of toxic employees can be challenging to spot. “It’s why using a structured interview approach, and a qualified assessment tool are important to help you spot them.” My recommendations are shared in this article.

Learning how to spot toxic future employees before hiring them can be tricky. However, it becomes easier when you use a well-defined strategic selection system and interview process. The challenge is, listening and not explaining away apparent signs.

“Toxic employees create discord, crush morale and reduce coworkers’ productivity.” (Insperity)

Many toxic workers have the skills to do the job. But due to “you owe me” attitudes, poor emotional intelligence, and not being coachable, they create unhealthy work environments. As a result, they diminish trust while sabotaging others’ work and the company’s growth.

Tips to Conduct Interviews to Uncover the Truth  

Listen and Be Present! You are more likely to spot toxic behaviors and attitudes if you do.

  • They change their story or lie about the facts
  • They answer your questions with questions
  • They are evasive in their answers
  • They tell you what you want to hear and blame others
  • They are always right
  • They make snarky or inappropriate comments

These job seekers may have the job skills but rarely fit into a healthy workplace.

Use a Structured Interview Focused on Job Skills. Their responses reveal their actual ability and interest in doing the work. Use the Rule of 3 to deep dive to understand their responses. Avoid asking about favorite colors, books read, or music they enjoy! Their responses can be misleading and cover up their genuine willingness to do the job.

Ask Interview Questions That Invite Negativity. Allow candidates to share experiences they’ve been coached not to talk about. But don’t ask more than two of these types of questions to prevent true top talent from ghosting you!

Two great questions:

  • “Tell me about a conflict you had with your boss or coworker.”
  • “What did you do when you received feedback you didn’t like from your boss or team?”

Listen for: blaming others, being unable to admit mistakes, or how people “should be.” Or conversely, “I always get along with everyone.” These are red flags!

Use a Qualified Job Fit Assessment. These tools have behaviorally based interview questions to help you uncover a person’s fit with the job. While they are not designed to state if a person is “toxic or not,” the questions help you learn more about the essential qualities the person will bring to the job.

I recently talked with a job candidate for a manager position. The person had an answer for everything and frequently spoke about enjoying conflict and debates with others. While these traits can be great in negotiations, most employees will revolt working for this type of boss.

Don’t Rely on Only One Interview. Many toxic people love to gossip or have other problematic attitudes they can turn on and off. Conduct several well-structured interviews instead of relying on your intuition or gut. During the process, you’ll learn more about the person’s true beliefs, work ethic, and ability to work with and through others to achieve intended results. Use a well-designed strategic selection system and follow it; most toxic future employees are less likely to stick around.

Don’t Dismiss Warning Signs. People’s choice of words conveys their thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Many poor job performers use negative words when talking about coworkers and bosses. They speak as the victim, are judgmental, and cannot empathize. They talk in absolutes: always and never. Don’t overlook their choice of words or explain them away.

Remember, toxic employees cost you time, money, and sleepless nights. A well-designed strategic selection system is a powerful tool to help you avoid hiring them.

Source for this article: Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about how to spot toxic future employees during job interviews: The challenge is that they often have the skills to do the job. But due to poor attitudes, being self-centered, and not being coachable, they can create unhealthy work environments. Need help upgrading your hiring practices? Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Leaders need to influence others to be successful. But many times, their blind spots speak too loudly and get in the way. For actual professional growth, use objective data to discover your blind spots now, before it’s too late:  https://bit.ly/BeEffectiveLeader

How to Use Failure to Grow Your Success and Opportunities

“Failure can lead to new successes and opportunities … are you ready?” Jeannette Seibly

Many leaders and bosses fear failure. Why? They want to look good in the eyes of their team, boss, and customers and be well-liked. The problem is that when leaders fear failure, they can become locked in a myopic point-of-view of what can be accomplished and how it should be done. This limits their successes and opportunities. Another result of being fearful is that team members and customers leave.

How to Attract New Career Success and Opportunities

Rock the Boat. Rocking the boat doesn’t mean someone or something has to go overboard! Instead, it means stretching outside your everyday thinking and including your team during this process. It strengthens everyone’s ability to brainstorm, use critical thinking, and disrupt the common limitations that hurt results. The key is to rock the boat without negatively impacting others.

When You Make a Mistake, Own it. What did you learn? Use “What Worked? / What Didn’t Work?”  individually and with the team to develop clarity. Then, share with your boss and customer.

Apologize. This reduces defensiveness when a mistake has been made. Remember, you must address the “elephant in the roombefore you can have a straight conversation and make a positive difference. For example, “I’m sorry this project went over budget. Here are the facts about why it happened and what I/we learned.”

Be Proactive, Not Reactive. Mistakes and failures are often avoidable when you are “present” in conversations. Learn to listen with an open mind. Then, ask questions for clarification about the impact new ideas could have on systems, people, and the bottom line. Be a guide for your team to be resourceful, resilient, and flexible when addressing change.

Hire the Right Team. You cannot achieve success alone. Let me repeat that you cannot achieve success alone. And hiring the wrong person for your team is the fastest way to fail! So instead, hire the right team the first time by using a qualified job fit assessment as 1/3 of your selection process. Included will be a coaching guide to develop your team and you and show you how to improve results now and in the future.

Uncover Your Blind Spots. Every leader and team has them. Your ability to recognize and work through them makes the difference between success, so-so results, or failure. Use a qualified job fit assessment and executive coach to move forward faster and with clarity.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about using failure to grow your career success and opportunities: Many leaders and bosses fear failure. They want to look good and be well-liked. The problem is that they become locked in a myopic point-of-view of what can be accomplished and how it should be done. This fear hurts career growth and opportunities for new projects. Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Leaders need to stretch themselves beyond their perceived limitations for professional growth. It starts with distinguishing your blind spots: https://bit.ly/BeEffectiveLeader

How Do You Use Interview Time Effectively?

“If you continue asking irrelevant job interview questions, you’ll continue to lose talent, customers, and money.” Jeannette Seibly

Many hiring managers believe relying on their instincts, and intuition/gut saves time and gives them all they need to make good hiring decisions. They think they’ll know the right candidate when they meet them.

Unfortunately, there are many problems with this belief. It creates:

  • Unconscious bias
  • Ghosting by job candidates and new hires
  • Turnover of talent, loss of customers, and litigation (think money and reputation)
  • Removal of a bad hire which can take up to 18 months (think again money and reputation)
  • Bad company reputation when making decisions without factual data … (Remember, this job candidate could become a future customer or decision-maker for a sales contract or award.)

Be Clear! Your Goals During the Interview Are to Determine:

  • Can the job candidate do the job?
  • Will the job candidate do the job?
  • Can the job candidate do the job in this company?

When you answer the above three questions in writing, you get real about the actual competencies required. Remember, business is changing, and so have business requirements.

  • What actual competencies are required?
  • What does the right candidate need to accomplish in 30-60-90-180 days?
  • What job fit assessment is best to see the “whole person?”

Example, if you’re seeking a salesperson, does s/he need to generate leads, close, and provide good ongoing customer care?

Preparation is Critical for Effective Interviews  

  • Ask job-related questions (not about the latest book read, hobbies outside work, etc.)
  • Create a structured interview with job-related questions

Review interview questions to ensure they do not create unconscious bias. Too often, we ask about recent books read, movies seen, and hobbies. These can get you in legal trouble. Why? You are inferring characteristics from their responses without factual data.

As you already know, stay away from questions about a candidate’s lifestyle, childcare, age, race, religion, etc.

Example, a hiring manager asked a candidate about the most recent book he’d read. He said, “Jaws.” She refused to talk with him further inferring he was an angry person. (Yes, this actually happened.)

Four Tips to Improve Your Interview and Selection Results

Note: Interviews should be only one-third of a well-designed strategic selection process. The other key parts include assessments (1/3) and due diligence (1/3). (Hire Amazing Employees)

1. Listen to their responses. Hear what they are saying. Don’t fill in the blanks with what you want to hear. Instead, ask questions for clarification before moving on to the next question.

2.Use Rule of 3 to determine the depth and breadth of job experience and skills.

An example of using the Rule of 3 to hire a project manager:

1) How do you handle team conflict? Can you give me an example?

2) What were the results?

3) If I talked with the team, how would they describe your leadership skills?

3. Ask about their coachability, how they handle mistakes, and flexibility with new assignments. Many will respond, “no problem.” Again, use the Rule of 3 to deep dive. You’ll hear their genuine willingness or unwillingness to answer these questions. Their core behaviors seldom change regardless of what they say.

4. Ask for examples. When asking job-related questions, always ask for examples. Example: Tell me about your working relationships with previous work teams, bosses, and customers.

Many years ago, I conducted a final interview with an experienced general manager for a business owner. I learned by asking for examples that each time she talked about her past three jobs, she expressed her upset with the business owners’ demanding ways. When I asked if she was aware of her upsets, she answered me honestly, “no.” I then shared that working with this business owner would be no different … he was very demanding too.   

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about using your interview time effectively: Many hiring managers rely too much on their intuition or gut, which leads to disastrous results: top talent and great customers leave, and the company’s bottom line looks grim. This week’s article covers the basics of conducting effective interviews. When done right, it saves time, money, and sleepless nights. Have questions? Most do! Let’s chat now!

Are you asking good, job-related interview questions? When hiring new employees or rehiring former ones, ask about their ability to handle mistakes. Why? 90% of new hires fail because they dismiss coaching or advice about how to improve. Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results! and suggested interview questions to get you started.

How to Listen When Receiving Advice to Achieve Results

“We want to realize our dreams, yet, we make it difficult by not listening to others.” Jeannette Seibly

What you ignore is that there is a choice regarding ‘how’ you listen to advice! Jeannette Seibly

Many people love to give advice … solicited and unsolicited. But many people don’t enjoy receiving it, and even when the advice is valid, they fail to use it to improve their issues, situations, or relationships.

The problems with giving and receiving advice:

  • we are overconfident about our perspectives
  • we fail to define the true problem
  • we fear hearing what we don’t want to hear
  • we learn we are not committed to doing the “real” work required

When Jonathan accepted a job to work for a well-respected leader, he looked forward to it. But when he shared the successes of his first assignment, the leader gave unsolicited advice for future improvements. Jonathan felt offended. He’d wanted to impress the leader by succeeding without help or advice.

When he shared his upset with Julie, his coworker, she laughed. “Here’s the deal. You can listen to his advice and run with it. Or modify it. Or, give factual reasons it won’t work. Or, feel offended … and most likely fail. But I would recommend you listen to his advice with an open mind. We focus on delivering great results in this company. Sometimes you may need to put on extra armor like the rest of us when he gives advice … but his style isn’t going to change. And he’s usually right on! It’s always your choice on how you listen. But feeling offended won’t help you succeed in your career here or anywhere else.” 

As results-oriented leaders, your willingness to listen to advice is how your teams and you achieve results further and faster.

How to Listen When Receiving Advice

Set Aside Your Ego. If you remember nothing else from this article, set aside your ego. When you are open to advice, regardless of how it’s offered, you’ll succeed further and faster in your career. Then, stay humble when deciding whether or not to accept the advice, and don’t let your blind spots derail you.

Ask Questions. “Can you please clarify what you mean? I want to be sure I understand.” OR, “Can you show me an example?” Don’t be obtuse … listen and be open to learning. Then, thank them. Now, either take their advice, modify it, or discard it.

Be Coachable. Discuss the advice given with your mentor or executive coach. Even the most off-the-wall suggestion can make a positive difference, or not. It depends on how you listen. Remember, the recommendation could be the catalyst for your success, or it could be naysayers expressing their opinions based on their own experiences. Either way, the advice taken or discarded can become a future powerful story when offering guidance or counsel to others.

Set Aside Being Offended or Annoyed. Being offended is not for professional people. And, being annoyed is something you can train yourself to stop doing. Why? There is usually a gold nugget when you truly listen. But, of course, if someone is deliberately offensive, move on.

Be Prepared When Asking for Help. You’ve seen people overwhelmed when asking for advice on social media. Instead, talk with one or two trusted advisers (your executive coach or a mentor). First, share the problem in 20 words, briefly outline what has been done, then ask, “what’s missing?” Now listen without being defensive. Remember to take notes and take focused action!

Your ability to listen to advice, whether right on or not, will take you further and faster than going it alone. Jeannette Seibly

How to Give Advice that is More Likely to Be Heard

Ask First. Are they open to hearing advice from you? If not, move on. If you’re the boss, ask if you can provide insights into a challenging issue, situation, or relationship they are experiencing. They usually will say “yes” and are now more open to listening to you. If they say “no,” you may need to make an unpopular management decision if the challenge continues.

Limit It. Offer only one or two valid points. If you offer more, you’ll lose their willingness to listen or their ability to comprehend of lot of information. Either use the sandwich approach or the straight talk approach, depending on the person.

Do it 1:1. Use the old saying, “Praise publicly, offer constructive guidance privately.” Always.

Be Open to Taking Advice. When you are willing and open to taking advice, your ability to offer advice and guidance to others increases tenfold.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about giving and receiving advice: If you are easily offended or annoyed when someone offers you advice, it’s time to reconsider how you listen. Successful leaders are open to receiving solicited and unsolicited advice. When doing this, they often move forward further and faster in their careers, in their projects, and in realizing their dreams. Have questions about how to listen when giving and receiving advice? Most do! Let’s chat now!

Are you asking the right job interview questions? When hiring new employees, ask about their ability to handle mistakes. Why? 90% of new hires fail because they dismiss coaching or advice about their poor interpersonal skills. Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results! and suggested interview questions to get you started

How to Remove Elephants by Resolving Difficult Issues or Situations

“When you ignore the elephant in the room, you sabotage your team and their ability to produce great results.” Jeannette Seibly

When elephants are in the room, it means an obvious issue or situation is being avoided or ignored. While you may rely on the excuse, “if you ignore them, they’ll go away,” these elephants have a sneaky way of sticking around and sabotaging results — regardless of your feelings about their importance.

Team members quietly quit when unspoken issues or difficult situations are not vocalized and resolved. Usually, their reluctance to speak up is due to fears of personal or professional reprisals if they rock the boat. Or, the fear is due to not having the confidence, communication skills, or self-esteem to stay in the conversation when others don’t agree with them.

As the leader, it’s up to you to make the conversations safe and respectful and be committed to opening up the conversation to expose difficult issues or situations.  

Ironically, talking about these elephants clears the air, energizes the team, and produces unprecedented results. However, achieving these results requires straight talk and a willingness to stay focused on removing the elephant when it doesn’t want to readily lumber away!

How to Resolve Five Common Types of Elephants

When resistance is due to:

Overwhelm. Keep the conversation simple when the issue seems impossible or too big to handle. Use open-ended questions: “What is your experience with the new A/P system?” Allow others the opportunity to voice concerns without fear. Once everyone has had a chance to talk, brainstorm possible solutions. Now, create a focused action plan and speak directly with the person(s) that have the power to resolve it. Remember to stay focused on the solution, not personalities.

Egos. These can be the most difficult elephants to mitigate since egos involve executives’ sense of self-esteem and self-importance. Offer ideas in small pieces and let them choose which one to use since s/he ignores brainstorming. Then, give them credit when the idea succeeds, and offer one or two suggestions if it fails. Remember, the goal is to remove the negative impact on you and your team. As you gain the executives’ trust, you can have more effect.

Entrenchment. We’ve all heard the expression, “It’s the way we’ve always done it.” When team members offer ideas to resolve concerns, it’s essential to listen and learn and not take them personally. Set aside your ego as the leader, use critical thinking so that change isn’t for the sake of change, and manage the process to include everyone.

Bad Acts. If there is a claim of harassment or microaggression, or allegation of theft, it’s imperative to act responsibly now. Have a private conversation with your boss and human resources to determine how to proceed. This may mean letting a well-liked team member or coworker go. Remember, this elephant is negatively impacting others. And these observers are watching how you’ll handle the situation and are adjusting their work performance accordingly. Note: If you ignore this one, you’ll lose credibility, your team, clients, and your business.

Failure to Commit and Act. There are times when elephants have been addressed, but there is no change. Or the leader has agreed but fails to remove the elephant due to political reasons or is second-guessing their agreement. (Examples include continuing old hiring practices and resisting a needed strategic hiring system or asking a major financial contributor to stop smoking in a no-smoking office.) Get this resolved asap. Ask for help by talking with your executive coach for objective counsel. Stop hoping the elephant will eventually go away. Hope is not a strategy; elephants tend to stay too long when you avoid following through for win-win-win outcomes.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2011-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about removing elephants and creating win-win-win outcomes: Is an elephant residing on your team? With your client? Or, in your company? The longer you wait to resolve difficult issues or situations, the more entrenched these elephants become. In the meantime, you lose essential ideas and solutions along with team members and clients. Have questions about how to identify “elephants” and resolve them? Most do! Let’s chat now!

When employees “quietly quit,” it is often due to you quickly hiring on instinct and then slowly firing for poor job skills. It’s time to develop a strategic selection system to improve how and whom you hire! Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!