Business

How Do You Improve Being Coachable, Especially When You Don’t Want To?

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“Why have a coach? Because a coach has you do what you don’t want to do so you can become amazingly successful!” Jeannette Seibly

Note: This is a reprint of the #1 article for 2022.

We’ve all been coachable and uncoachable. It’s part of being human.

Being coachable: You listen for feedback from people regardless of your feelings about them.

Being uncoachable and challenging to work with: You refuse to listen to others even when they are great results-producers.

Why are you uncoachable? It could be your:

  • Readiness to hear feedback or advice
  • Humiliation of what occurred (e.g., poorly done presentation)
  • Low self-esteem or ego
  • Workplace environment views coaching negatively
  • Need to do it your way or on your own

Regardless of your reasoning, developing your listening skills and being coachable is critical.

The bottom line is that every successful leader, boss, and high-performance person has a coach! Think of the NBA, business leaders, and sales teams with excellent sales results. They know that while the advice and feedback may not be delivered flawlessly to their liking, it’s important to be coachable. Setting aside their ego avoids costly errors, team conflict, and poor customer results.

How Do You Improve Being Coachable and Achieve the Success You Really Want?

Be Present and Make the Time. “Is it an appropriate time to talk?” For example, bosses may call you when your kids demand your attention, or you’re in a department store. When this happens, ask, “Can I call you back in ½ hour when I can hear you?” Then, make the call in ½ an hour! Why? When distracted, you cannot present what is being said and will overlook critical feedback details.

Listen to Feedback About You. Listen carefully when the feedback originates from a team member, customer, or executive. There is an important lesson to learn here. To be coachable, listen without defending your actions, words, or thoughts about the person who complained. Instead, a couple of questions to ask: “Can you be more specific?” and “What would you recommend that I do?”

Transform Your Mindset When You Make Mistakes. There will be days you don’t do your best, create team conflict, or say the wrong thing. When someone complains, your ego will feel the need to defend your actions and blame others for the results. Breathe! Apologize! Stick with the facts, not your feelings about the person, situation, or other factors. Instead, ask, “What can I specifically do to change the outcome?” Remember, your future career options require taking responsibility and being coachable!

Review All Project Results Before, During, and After. Too often, you’re open and ready to hear feedback when a project is working. But when a project has or is about to fail, you become defensive, stop listening, and turn it into a debate. Remember, there is always room for improvement. In preparation for these crucial conversations, complete this exercise: “What Worked?/What Didn’t Work?”

Seek Out Coaching When You Need Clarity. There is a myth that you need to know the answer before asking for help. It’s not true! Instead, be open to listening to the feedback and be coachable. For example, ask, “Do you have 5 minutes? I’m unclear on what I need to do to make this project work?” Share the specifics about the goal and actions taken. Always say, “Thank you.” Even when you don’t like their answers be coachable. It could make the difference between successful results and failure.

Listen for the Gold … especially when the little voice in your head is chirping, “I don’t want or need to hear it.” It takes practice to master the skill of being coachable. In turn, you will accelerate your leadership development, relationships, and business results.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A Note from Jeannette about being coachable: Successful leaders have coaches. Being coachable isn’t hard if you’re open to feedback and asking for help. Start with your coach to resolve a challenging situation or relationship today. These issues rarely disappear on their own! Do you feel stuck? Not clear what the real problem is? You’re not alone. Contact me for a confidential conversation.

When was the last time you got honest about your leadership issues? Many employees today do not trust their bosses and leaders. Many leaders believe they already understand their blind spots. But they fail to get objective data to help them do the right things correctly. It’s essential to get actual objective data to improve your leadership. Click here for details.

Easy Ways to Combat Energy Zappers

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“When you fail to honor your commitments to yourself and others, your energy gets zapped daily.” Jeannette Seibly

What is our #1 energy zapper? Our excuses! Stress, boredom, toxic people, lack of sleep, too much sugar, and caffeine rank right up there as energy zappers too! And these will occur regularly when not managed.

But procrastination and the excuses we mentally create to justify it win as #1. It’s incredible how much time we waste looking for excuses, feeding our procrastination, and seeking out “why” we don’t want to get it done. Ironically, it takes more energy to avoid doing the task or job than it does to get the work done.

When you have a job, task, or client need, the bottom line is that you want to get into focused action as quickly as possible. If you don’t, you will experience diminished self-confidence and self-worth. And you will find future career opportunities, and sales get zapped too.

6 Strategies to Stop Energy Zappers

Schedule. Use an online or hand-written calendar, scheduler, and/or planner. Schedule the time needed to get the task done. Now, honor it as an appointment with a VIP (a very important person).  

I remember using an online planner to get my first book written and published. Every week I would receive a notification of activities for the week. And I honored it! This process eliminated the excuses I usually created for not getting my book written and published sooner.

Do or Delegate. Just because you don’t want to do it doesn’t mean others won’t welcome the opportunity. Don’t be afraid to delegate the task or job to someone who would welcome it. Remember, they won’t do it the same way you would … but they often do it better because they enjoy the work!

Brandon hated accounting. But as an entrepreneur knew, it was essential to have up-to-date numbers. So, he set aside his excuses and hired a bookkeeper who completed the weekly work within a couple of hours. As a result, Brandon now speaks intelligently with banks, his coach, and his team about where they need to focus their attention and be profitable.

Set Aside 20 minutes. If you’re still finding or looking for excuses, STOP! Set a timer for 20 minutes and focus on doing the task during that time and see how far you progress. If you’re ready to do more at the end of the 20 minutes, go for it!

One sales rep avoided making his calls and following up with potential customers. His excuse was, “They don’t want to buy from me anyway.” When he worked with his sales manager and coach, he learned how to use those 20 minutes to follow up and follow-through. His sales improved dramatically.

Hire a Coach and Find an Accountability Partner. Find someone to be your cheerleader. This person will keep you in action. And guide you through complex situations and/or relationships that can also be energy zappers.

Write It Out, Walk It Out, and Talk It Out. These three activities will help you overcome the normal energy zappers of day-to-day stress, boredom, and toxic people.

© Jeannette L. Seibly, 2010-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. During the past 29 years, she has become an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, and keynote speaker. Have trouble getting into focused action and feeling energized to get your job done and goals completed? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Note from Jeannette about energy zappers. Honoring our commitments has become more critical today than ever. Keeping your commitments make you a top talent that your customers enjoy working with. Unfortunately, too many people fail to understand the impact of not keeping their commitments. Contact me today to talk confidentially about your energy zappers.

Being a top influencer means honoring your word and getting the job done in a high-quality and timely manner. So, grab your FREE copy of Eight Tips to Increase Your Ability to Influence.

 

Many Employers Are Feeling the Pressure to Increase Wages

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“Everyone thinks money keeps employees. But they forget money doesn’t motivate!” Jeannette Seibly

A friend had demanded a pay increase from his boss and got it. He felt excited to get the money until he realized it put him in a new tax bracket. So now, he’s looking for a different motivator to continue doing a job he doesn’t even enjoy.

Everyone wants to make more money. They believe it’ll motivate them to like their jobs! The truth is, if they are in the wrong position due to poor job fit, it won’t matter what you’re paying them. They’ll still experience job dissatisfaction. Therefore, employers must become innovative and create new ways to compensate their employees, along with fair wages.

The BIG question is, “How can I compensate and motivate employees to attract and keep them?”

9 Ways to Compensate and Retain Employees to Improve Job Satisfaction

Job Fit. Yes, I know, I mention this a lot. But the fact is, studies show that when people fit their work, they thrive. They are less likely to focus on money to offset job dissatisfaction. Use a strategic selection process and qualified job fit assessments to improve your selection decisions for new hires, rehires, and job transfers and promotions.

Ask. Ask, “What do you really really really want?” It’s the best place to start. You may be surprised that their requests are not about increasing their paychecks! (Unless you’re paying below industry standards.) If you do this, you’ll be surprised by what you learn.

Benefit Options. Provide spending dollars and options for additional vacation, childcare, personal time off, working remotely, and fun activities.

Perks and Gift Cards. Provide prizes for different challenges. Remember, some will enjoy group prizes, while others value individual recognition.

Education with Accredited Schools. Many are looking for education reimbursement or the company paying for tuition and books up front. This allows your employees to grow.

Company Workshops. Provide 1:1 training and development programs, both online and in-person. These should include technical, leadership, and soft skills training. Provide a certificate of completion and have it noted in their HR record.

Other Learning Opportunities. Partner with local experts to provide personal courses: money and financial management, how to buy your first home, Medicare options, and how to brag. These courses should include certificates of completion.

Provide Expanded Opportunities: Interdepartmental Teams, Association or Trade Boards, or Community Outreach Programs or Boards. These opportunities provide growth and development and are highly favored among many employees. They provide invaluable ways to develop and gain leadership skills and confidence in using them. Be sure they have a mentor to work through the sticky situations and political relationships in these groups.

Train to Be Coaches. Offer experienced employees the opportunity to coach newer employees. Provide a well-designed training program and certificate for these new coaches. The selling point is that these are invaluable skills to learn and develop and can be used on the job, at home, or in community activities.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about different ways to compensate and retain employees: Many employees today want more money. But they fail to realize that money is not a motivator. However, other perks, benefits, and opportunities can be. Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Do you know if you’re doing a poor job of managing others? Would you like to know whether or not you are? As a leader or future leader, you must learn how to get the job done by working with and through others for great results. To learn more, click here.

Stop Quiet Quitting and Create Solutions

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“Boredom results from not stretching beyond your current skills.” Jeannette Seibly

According to Fortune, 82% of GenZs and Millennials are quietly quitting. When I shared this shocking stat with a friend, she talked about a young family member ignored by her bosses! The GenZer would like to take on more challenging work and has often asked for more opportunities. But each time, she continues to be dismissed. So, she quietly quit her job.

As a member of any generation, you can be part of the problem or part of the solution, whether you’re the boss or employee. When employees of all ages feel bored, not challenged, or experience long-term job dissatisfaction, it creates quiet quitting! Remember, problems always have solutions. Left unaddressed, quiet quitting can sabotage your profitability and results too.

Bosses, remember, GenZs and Millennials are our future. Now is the time to train, develop, and coach them to create good work and results-producing skills … not discourage them further.

Two Points of View to Prevent Quiet Quitting

1. First, learn about career blind spots.

Boss: Create a strategic selection system to collect objective, valid, and reliable data for your hiring, job transfers, and promotions, and rehire decisions.

Employee: While you chose your profession for various reasons, you’re suffering because the job doesn’t fit you! Before you keep job hopping, discover your blind spots and focus on job fit. Talk with an executive coach. It’ll save you from career disillusionment and giving up on yourself or pursuing jobs that don’t fit you.

2. Do your homework.

Boss: Stop relying on the interview as your primary source during the hiring process. Using a strategic selection system will improve collecting objective, valid, and reliable data.

Employee: Before taking a job, conduct your due diligence by asking questions of the interviewers and your professional network. Talk about training, education reimbursement, and other opportunities available to grow that are important to you. Remember, you will have many career options during your lifetime … it’s your responsibility to build on these and not blame your employer for your lack of success.

3. Create Depth of Knowledge.

Boss: Many employees hate repetitive work or being micromanaged. Look for opportunities to allow them to make mistakes and learn.

Employee: Ask for opportunities to dig deeper into accounting, human resources, marketing, etc. Start with learning the basics (e.g., math, accounting, sales, hiring and assessment legalities). The knowledge and ability to use this information correctly can promote you further faster.

4. Create a Breadth of Awareness.

Boss: Provide new opportunities for upskilling, reskilling, and training and development as part of your team members’ career path.

Employee: Take an active role in interdepartmental teams addressing company-wide issues. Listen, ask questions, and learn. This helps you develop and use your knowledge and skills to positively impact the company and its clients.

5. Stay Current.

Boss: Provide weekly department meetings and monthly 1:1 sessions. Discuss what’s working, what’s missing, and the resources needed. Don’t forget to include coaching on taking initiative and being resourceful.

Employee: It’s easy to get bored. But actually, it’s easier to make an effort to learn more and expand your knowledge about your current job. It’s up to you to take the initiative!

6. Attend Professional Association and/or Trade Meetings.

Boss: Provide budget dollars and opportunities for employees to attend these events.

Employee: Don’t be shy. Get out there to meet and greet others. Ask and listen to current and future issues in the industry you work in … or wish to work in.

7. Stop Hoping for Job Satisfaction and Create It.

Boss: It’s up to you to provide appropriate initiatives or challenges for each employee to enhance their job satisfaction.

Employee: Hope is not a strategy. Grab your “Brag” book and complete the 5 easy steps. Now, share your brags with your boss and create action steps for what’s next in developing your career path. Yes, you need to take an active part! PS: Use your brags during Performance Appraisals and work reviews too.

8. Keep Learning!

Boss: Provide budget dollars for ongoing training and development. Include online and onsite workshops. Remember, you’re creating the next generation of leaders!

Employee: Your brain loves to learn. Even if you have a degree or trade certification, take advantage of company training and workshops. Primarily focus on skills required for career growth:  emotional intelligence, communication, project management, and leadership. (Yes, even before you need them.) Don’t forget critical, often overlooked education: financial planning, money management, technical certificates (for non-technical people), etc.

9. Hire a Coach!

Boss and Employee: Find the money. Hire the coach. Remember, successful people of all ages have coaches.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about how to create solutions for quiet quitters: The challenge is that all employees need to take the initiative to develop their technical and other skills to have job satisfaction. As the boss, it’s your responsibility to get into action to guide the development of these needed skills. Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Quiet quitters often have unrecognized blind spots that get in the way of job satisfaction. It’s essential for you to uncover them now, before you quit or are transferred or promoted to new positions (remember the Confucius quote: “Where ever you go, go with all your heart.”):  https://bit.ly/BeEffectiveLeader

Learn How to Spot Toxic Future Employees During Job Interviews

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“Toxic employees diminish trust while sabotaging the company, customers, and team.” Jeannette Seibly

A leader recently asked me, “How do you spot a narcissist during a job interview?” He’d just fired one. I shared that they and other types of toxic employees can be challenging to spot. “It’s why using a structured interview approach, and a qualified assessment tool are important to help you spot them.” My recommendations are shared in this article.

Learning how to spot toxic future employees before hiring them can be tricky. However, it becomes easier when you use a well-defined strategic selection system and interview process. The challenge is, listening and not explaining away apparent signs.

“Toxic employees create discord, crush morale and reduce coworkers’ productivity.” (Insperity)

Many toxic workers have the skills to do the job. But due to “you owe me” attitudes, poor emotional intelligence, and not being coachable, they create unhealthy work environments. As a result, they diminish trust while sabotaging others’ work and the company’s growth.

Tips to Conduct Interviews to Uncover the Truth  

Listen and Be Present! You are more likely to spot toxic behaviors and attitudes if you do.

  • They change their story or lie about the facts
  • They answer your questions with questions
  • They are evasive in their answers
  • They tell you what you want to hear and blame others
  • They are always right
  • They make snarky or inappropriate comments

These job seekers may have the job skills but rarely fit into a healthy workplace.

Use a Structured Interview Focused on Job Skills. Their responses reveal their actual ability and interest in doing the work. Use the Rule of 3 to deep dive to understand their responses. Avoid asking about favorite colors, books read, or music they enjoy! Their responses can be misleading and cover up their genuine willingness to do the job.

Ask Interview Questions That Invite Negativity. Allow candidates to share experiences they’ve been coached not to talk about. But don’t ask more than two of these types of questions to prevent true top talent from ghosting you!

Two great questions:

  • “Tell me about a conflict you had with your boss or coworker.”
  • “What did you do when you received feedback you didn’t like from your boss or team?”

Listen for: blaming others, being unable to admit mistakes, or how people “should be.” Or conversely, “I always get along with everyone.” These are red flags!

Use a Qualified Job Fit Assessment. These tools have behaviorally based interview questions to help you uncover a person’s fit with the job. While they are not designed to state if a person is “toxic or not,” the questions help you learn more about the essential qualities the person will bring to the job.

I recently talked with a job candidate for a manager position. The person had an answer for everything and frequently spoke about enjoying conflict and debates with others. While these traits can be great in negotiations, most employees will revolt working for this type of boss.

Don’t Rely on Only One Interview. Many toxic people love to gossip or have other problematic attitudes they can turn on and off. Conduct several well-structured interviews instead of relying on your intuition or gut. During the process, you’ll learn more about the person’s true beliefs, work ethic, and ability to work with and through others to achieve intended results. Use a well-designed strategic selection system and follow it; most toxic future employees are less likely to stick around.

Don’t Dismiss Warning Signs. People’s choice of words conveys their thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Many poor job performers use negative words when talking about coworkers and bosses. They speak as the victim, are judgmental, and cannot empathize. They talk in absolutes: always and never. Don’t overlook their choice of words or explain them away.

Remember, toxic employees cost you time, money, and sleepless nights. A well-designed strategic selection system is a powerful tool to help you avoid hiring them.

Source for this article: Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about how to spot toxic future employees during job interviews: The challenge is that they often have the skills to do the job. But due to poor attitudes, being self-centered, and not being coachable, they can create unhealthy work environments. Need help upgrading your hiring practices? Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Leaders need to influence others to be successful. But many times, their blind spots speak too loudly and get in the way. For actual professional growth, use objective data to discover your blind spots now, before it’s too late:  https://bit.ly/BeEffectiveLeader

When Coaching Is Required to Keep Your Job

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“Smart leaders and bosses hire the right coach before losing top talent and customers.” Jeannette Seibly

As a leader (boss, manager, individual contributor), have you:

  • Had a meltdown when situations didn’t go your way?
  • Used microaggressions to get others’ attention when not feeling heard?
  • Refused to listen to ideas and solutions you didn’t want to hear?
  • Had a tantrum when you lost a client, or the results were less than stellar?
  • Arrived at meetings late and disrupted the discussion with your own agenda?
  • Yelled at your boss when frustrated?

If you answered “yes” to even one of these questions, it’s time to get real and hire a coach to keep your job! Whether you know it or not, your career is now on a limited timetable, and you cannot succeed alone without the right help.

Improve Your Leadership Through a Variety of Coaching Opportunities

Hire the Right Coach. Start by hiring the right executive coach. Not all coaches are created equal or can turn leaders or bosses around. The right coach will guide you through difficult situations and sticky (often political) relationships to achieve your plan and goals while being a resource.

Discover Your Blind Spots and Ensure Job Fit. An essential part of your development and plan is to use qualified assessments that provide true clarity. Use a qualified job fit assessment for an objective leadership report. Also, include a 360-degree feedback assessment. Beware! Don’t get duped by the cheap assessments. These are notorious for not providing objective and valid data. Now, work with your executive coach to create your plan and goals. Remember, implement only one change at a time.

Emotional Intelligence Development. Another vital part of your plan is participating in workshops and programs designed to help you learn how to work with and through others to achieve intended results … including improving your communication skills. Also, consider talking with a therapist to uncover unresolved concerns or issues from your past.

Select an Industry Mentor. Whether or not it’s part of your plan, find an industry mentor. The right one expands your awareness of what is required in business today. Value these meetings by showing up on time, being ready to listen, and learning. But remember … industry mentors are not coaches! So, don’t ditch the coach! Instead, talk with your coach about insights and build them into your long-term plan. (Yes, plan to work with your coach for at least six months to ensure your changes are working!)

Let Go of Emotional Attachments. Last but not least, set aside your ego during the process and be open to making meaningful changes. This can be difficult. But consider the alternative (e.g., being fired, having a lousy reputation, unemployable). For example, if you’re a bad boss, ask your company to make you an individual contributor while maintaining the same pay and perks you had as a boss. If your company is unwilling to do so, find a forward-thinking company that does.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a two-time Amazon International Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about getting real and hiring a coach to keep your job when you’ve gone off-track: when your employees or customers are leaving or complaining, it’s time for you as the boss or leader to listen and hire an executive coach, pronto! Many times, your behaviors and attitudes will improve with the right guidance. But don’t wait until it is too late! Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Hiring the wrong person for an executive or critical position jeopardizes your company. However, this can be preventable when using a strategic selection system. Get essential hiring and selection tips by grabbing the Amazon International Best-Selling Book,  “Hire Amazing Employees!”

PRESS RELEASE – October 4, 2022

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OCT 4 2022

For Immediate Release
Contact: Jeannette Seibly
JLSeibly@SeibCo.com
303-917-2993

New Book on Hiring Top Talent Becomes International Amazon Bestseller

OCT 4, Denver, Colorado— Local bestselling author, Jeannette Seibly, also known at the Leadership Results Coach from her award-winning years as a business and leadership coach, is celebrating a new bestseller, along with a 30-year anniversary of helping entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners, and creating million-dollar results.

Almost 1000 people downloaded her new book Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results (Revised Edition)! over the weekend, and the book hit #1 in nine categories on Amazon across the United States, Canada and Australia.

With 40% of American’s currently considering quitting their jobs according to a McKinsey & Company study, or quietly quitting, it’s become the wild-wild west of hiring. Bestselling author Jeannette Seibly reveals the tools businesses need to hire top talent, and retain their employees in her new book Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results (Revised Edition)! (SeibCo.com/books/)

Right now, she’s offering “30 Tips from 30 Years”  https://seibco.com/30tipsfrom30years/ a free download for entrepreneurs, leaders, and business owners.

She also has published multiple books related to “bragging” to land your dream career, to get the promotion, and to sell yourself and your products anytime, anywhere. Her newest book, “Hire Amazing Employees,”  focuses on how businesses can hone in on top talent, and to stop using intuition as the key factor when hiring and promoting employees.

Making the wrong hire can cost business many thousands of dollars. As the hiring market remains unstable and people continue to quit jobs at record highs, there are many tools available to create and implement a practical strategic selection system, as outlined in Hire Amazing Employees, Revised Edition. (SeibCo.com/books/)

Her “straight talk with immediate results” has impacted many companies to increase retention, revenues, and results!

Press inquiries & book club inquiries: Jeannette Seibly is available for in-person and online interviews for all media formats. Contact her at JLSeibly@SeibCo.com or 303-917-2993 or visit her website: www.SeibCo.com

 

Do You Want to Be a Successful Leader? Learn This All-Important Skill!

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“Do you want to excel professionally and financially? Then, be coachable! It’s the #1 way to success.” Jeannette Seibly

“The paradox is that the very things that hold us back are the reasons we need a coach in the first place.” Seth Godin

Being coachable opens up unimaginable doors and opportunities!

  • All successful leaders and future leaders have coaches!
  • As a result, they develop the skills, competencies, and inner confidence that comes from being coachable.
  • In addition, being coachable uncovers blind spots that get in the way of receiving promotions, special assignments, and acknowledgments.
  • They become an influencer and leader that others want to follow.

What Does Being Coachable Mean?

“Coachability is not a technical skill or an inherent ability. It is a mental attitude.” It reflects your ability to ask for feedback, listen, and make appropriate changes. Learning from constructive criticism is also a reflection of your emotional intelligence (EQ). (mvorganizing.org)

What Does Being Uncoachable Look Like?

You roll your eyes, take things personally, and have myriad excuses for why you don’t or won’t ____ (fill in the blank). You are unhappy being stuck in your career and unwilling to do the right work to change it.

How To Improve Your Coachability!

  1.  Be Open to Learning. While you may want to seek out people more experienced than you, remember, you can learn something from anyone, anywhere!
  2. Seek Out Feedback. Ask team members, customers, and your boss for feedback, and leave your ego at the door! For example, ask, “What’s one thing that would help me improve my project results? Or, ability to work well with others?” Listen and be respectful, especially if the feedback isn’t what you want to hear. Remember to say “please” and “thank you.”
  3. Stretch Beyond Your Beloved Comfort Zone. These confining spaces get in the way of your success! Be willing to ask for help! Ask, “I tried this approach, and it didn’t work for me. What do you believe is missing?” Listen and don’t debate. This helps you discover your blind spots and how to overcome them. Now, do the work!
  4. Be Present When Interacting with Others. It starts with quieting the mental chatter of thoughts and distractions. Then, when you truly listen, you will discover insights between what you say you want and what you are actually doing.
  5. Make Positive Behavior and Attitude Changes. Talking the talk won’t make a difference. You must do the right work! If you don’t know what to do, ask an experienced coach, use a qualified job fit assessment to clarify “why,” and then get in action! (Stop thinking about it and get started now!)
  6. Hire the Right Coach. Successful leaders and future leaders hire the right executive coaches. They find the coach that can guide them to achieve what they really really really want, not what someone else believes they “should” have or do. Also, they select executive coaches that have coaches too! (Yes, coaches need to be coachable!)

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. Celebrating 30 years of award-winning international executive and family business management consulting, speaking, and coaching. She’s also an Amazon Best Selling Author with essential tips for busy employers! Her commitment has guided 1,000s of leaders to make a positive difference in their businesses. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about why being coachable is so critical: Forbes said it this way: “Many of us have the assumption that someday life will be easy.  … But this assumption that it gets easier is not true. It is never true because you change, the organization changes and the business environment is constantly evolving. A successful life means constant change and continuous learning. So set a goal now to remain coachable throughout your career.” Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Are you tired of hiring uncoachable employees? During the interview, ask: “When was the last time you made a mistake?” and “How did you handle it?” This is perhaps the most critical and revealing part of the interview. Get other tips and interview questions by grabbing, “Hire Amazing Employees!” (Amazon #1 International Best Seller)

How Do You Use Interview Time Effectively?

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“If you continue asking irrelevant job interview questions, you’ll continue to lose talent, customers, and money.” Jeannette Seibly

Many hiring managers believe relying on their instincts, and intuition/gut saves time and gives them all they need to make good hiring decisions. They think they’ll know the right candidate when they meet them.

Unfortunately, there are many problems with this belief. It creates:

  • Unconscious bias
  • Ghosting by job candidates and new hires
  • Turnover of talent, loss of customers, and litigation (think money and reputation)
  • Removal of a bad hire which can take up to 18 months (think again money and reputation)
  • Bad company reputation when making decisions without factual data … (Remember, this job candidate could become a future customer or decision-maker for a sales contract or award.)

Be Clear! Your Goals During the Interview Are to Determine:

  • Can the job candidate do the job?
  • Will the job candidate do the job?
  • Can the job candidate do the job in this company?

When you answer the above three questions in writing, you get real about the actual competencies required. Remember, business is changing, and so have business requirements.

  • What actual competencies are required?
  • What does the right candidate need to accomplish in 30-60-90-180 days?
  • What job fit assessment is best to see the “whole person?”

Example, if you’re seeking a salesperson, does s/he need to generate leads, close, and provide good ongoing customer care?

Preparation is Critical for Effective Interviews  

  • Ask job-related questions (not about the latest book read, hobbies outside work, etc.)
  • Create a structured interview with job-related questions

Review interview questions to ensure they do not create unconscious bias. Too often, we ask about recent books read, movies seen, and hobbies. These can get you in legal trouble. Why? You are inferring characteristics from their responses without factual data.

As you already know, stay away from questions about a candidate’s lifestyle, childcare, age, race, religion, etc.

Example, a hiring manager asked a candidate about the most recent book he’d read. He said, “Jaws.” She refused to talk with him further inferring he was an angry person. (Yes, this actually happened.)

Four Tips to Improve Your Interview and Selection Results

Note: Interviews should be only one-third of a well-designed strategic selection process. The other key parts include assessments (1/3) and due diligence (1/3). (Hire Amazing Employees)

1. Listen to their responses. Hear what they are saying. Don’t fill in the blanks with what you want to hear. Instead, ask questions for clarification before moving on to the next question.

2.Use Rule of 3 to determine the depth and breadth of job experience and skills.

An example of using the Rule of 3 to hire a project manager:

1) How do you handle team conflict? Can you give me an example?

2) What were the results?

3) If I talked with the team, how would they describe your leadership skills?

3. Ask about their coachability, how they handle mistakes, and flexibility with new assignments. Many will respond, “no problem.” Again, use the Rule of 3 to deep dive. You’ll hear their genuine willingness or unwillingness to answer these questions. Their core behaviors seldom change regardless of what they say.

4. Ask for examples. When asking job-related questions, always ask for examples. Example: Tell me about your working relationships with previous work teams, bosses, and customers.

Many years ago, I conducted a final interview with an experienced general manager for a business owner. I learned by asking for examples that each time she talked about her past three jobs, she expressed her upset with the business owners’ demanding ways. When I asked if she was aware of her upsets, she answered me honestly, “no.” I then shared that working with this business owner would be no different … he was very demanding too.   

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about using your interview time effectively: Many hiring managers rely too much on their intuition or gut, which leads to disastrous results: top talent and great customers leave, and the company’s bottom line looks grim. This week’s article covers the basics of conducting effective interviews. When done right, it saves time, money, and sleepless nights. Have questions? Most do! Let’s chat now!

Are you asking good, job-related interview questions? When hiring new employees or rehiring former ones, ask about their ability to handle mistakes. Why? 90% of new hires fail because they dismiss coaching or advice about how to improve. Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results! and suggested interview questions to get you started.

How to Listen When Receiving Advice to Achieve Results

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“We want to realize our dreams, yet, we make it difficult by not listening to others.” Jeannette Seibly

What you ignore is that there is a choice regarding ‘how’ you listen to advice! Jeannette Seibly

Many people love to give advice … solicited and unsolicited. But many people don’t enjoy receiving it, and even when the advice is valid, they fail to use it to improve their issues, situations, or relationships.

The problems with giving and receiving advice:

  • we are overconfident about our perspectives
  • we fail to define the true problem
  • we fear hearing what we don’t want to hear
  • we learn we are not committed to doing the “real” work required

When Jonathan accepted a job to work for a well-respected leader, he looked forward to it. But when he shared the successes of his first assignment, the leader gave unsolicited advice for future improvements. Jonathan felt offended. He’d wanted to impress the leader by succeeding without help or advice.

When he shared his upset with Julie, his coworker, she laughed. “Here’s the deal. You can listen to his advice and run with it. Or modify it. Or, give factual reasons it won’t work. Or, feel offended … and most likely fail. But I would recommend you listen to his advice with an open mind. We focus on delivering great results in this company. Sometimes you may need to put on extra armor like the rest of us when he gives advice … but his style isn’t going to change. And he’s usually right on! It’s always your choice on how you listen. But feeling offended won’t help you succeed in your career here or anywhere else.” 

As results-oriented leaders, your willingness to listen to advice is how your teams and you achieve results further and faster.

How to Listen When Receiving Advice

Set Aside Your Ego. If you remember nothing else from this article, set aside your ego. When you are open to advice, regardless of how it’s offered, you’ll succeed further and faster in your career. Then, stay humble when deciding whether or not to accept the advice, and don’t let your blind spots derail you.

Ask Questions. “Can you please clarify what you mean? I want to be sure I understand.” OR, “Can you show me an example?” Don’t be obtuse … listen and be open to learning. Then, thank them. Now, either take their advice, modify it, or discard it.

Be Coachable. Discuss the advice given with your mentor or executive coach. Even the most off-the-wall suggestion can make a positive difference, or not. It depends on how you listen. Remember, the recommendation could be the catalyst for your success, or it could be naysayers expressing their opinions based on their own experiences. Either way, the advice taken or discarded can become a future powerful story when offering guidance or counsel to others.

Set Aside Being Offended or Annoyed. Being offended is not for professional people. And, being annoyed is something you can train yourself to stop doing. Why? There is usually a gold nugget when you truly listen. But, of course, if someone is deliberately offensive, move on.

Be Prepared When Asking for Help. You’ve seen people overwhelmed when asking for advice on social media. Instead, talk with one or two trusted advisers (your executive coach or a mentor). First, share the problem in 20 words, briefly outline what has been done, then ask, “what’s missing?” Now listen without being defensive. Remember to take notes and take focused action!

Your ability to listen to advice, whether right on or not, will take you further and faster than going it alone. Jeannette Seibly

How to Give Advice that is More Likely to Be Heard

Ask First. Are they open to hearing advice from you? If not, move on. If you’re the boss, ask if you can provide insights into a challenging issue, situation, or relationship they are experiencing. They usually will say “yes” and are now more open to listening to you. If they say “no,” you may need to make an unpopular management decision if the challenge continues.

Limit It. Offer only one or two valid points. If you offer more, you’ll lose their willingness to listen or their ability to comprehend of lot of information. Either use the sandwich approach or the straight talk approach, depending on the person.

Do it 1:1. Use the old saying, “Praise publicly, offer constructive guidance privately.” Always.

Be Open to Taking Advice. When you are willing and open to taking advice, your ability to offer advice and guidance to others increases tenfold.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about giving and receiving advice: If you are easily offended or annoyed when someone offers you advice, it’s time to reconsider how you listen. Successful leaders are open to receiving solicited and unsolicited advice. When doing this, they often move forward further and faster in their careers, in their projects, and in realizing their dreams. Have questions about how to listen when giving and receiving advice? Most do! Let’s chat now!

Are you asking the right job interview questions? When hiring new employees, ask about their ability to handle mistakes. Why? 90% of new hires fail because they dismiss coaching or advice about their poor interpersonal skills. Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results! and suggested interview questions to get you started