
Leaders, bosses, and business professionals—this article is a must-read. It could make or break your career and business.
You can always tell how successful a boss or leader is by their ability to listen to and handle feedback.
Years ago, a plant manager called me. When I didn’t tell him what he wanted to hear, he yelled, “You don’t know what you’re talking about because you’re a woman!”
A colleague in the office next to mine overheard the exchange and called me into his office. He said, “Here’s what you need to do.” (No, I hadn’t asked for his feedback; frankly, I wasn’t sure I wanted it.)
Still, I followed his advice. As a result, I became the only person in my department that the plant manager would work with. He trusted me since I took the time to tour his plant and express interest in the operations.
The unsolicited feedback was a valuable gift—a lesson I still remember and appreciate to this day.
Feedback Can Make or Break Your Credibility:
• Egos in Overdrive. Phrases like “How dare you!” or “You don’t know how to do what I do” showcase your ego at work. The problem? When you truly need honest feedback, no one will give it to you.
• Debate Mode. Responses like “You don’t understand,” or “No one else mentioned it,” or “I didn’t have time to prepare” are counterproductive. They discourage people from sharing invaluable insights. Instead, you’ll hear only what they think you want to hear. Remember, standing your ground diplomatically during disagreements (e.g., contract negotiations) is not the same as receiving feedback.
• Being a Right-Fighter. Similar to debating, being a right-fighter often escalates into lengthy emails or rants defending why the feedback should be dismissed or is unimportant. This approach blocks leadership growth and improvement. Often, it will sideline you from the next promotion or new opportunity.
Another Personal Example:
Recently, I led a 40-minute breakout session titled “Get Your Brag On!” Overall, it was well-received:
• “I could have listened to you all afternoon!”
• “I rewrote my presentation introduction based on your advice—thank you!”
However, I also got less favorable feedback:
• “We didn’t have enough time to write out our responses.”
When feedback isn’t glowing, I’ve learned to respond with gratitude: “Thank you. I appreciate your participation.” Then, I review it with a trusted friend to see how I can improve if necessary.
Ways to Learn from Feedback and Win:
1. Listen. Whether the feedback was requested or unsolicited, set aside your ego and listen. Simply listening can positively impact your results. Remember, everyone makes mistakes. It’s how you acknowledge them and learn that makes the difference.
2. Ask Open-Ended Questions. Be curious and seek clarity to understand the feedback better.
3. Mirror Their Words. Avoid putting words into their mouth. For example, don’t say, “I’m sorry you’re disappointed” unless they’ve used the word “disappointed.” Reflecting their own words shows you value their input.
4. Express Gratitude. Even if the feedback stings, treat it as a gift. A simple “Thank you” can open doors to growth and learning. You never know the impact feedback can make in opening future opportunities for you.
5. Review and Apply. Thoughtfully consider the feedback. Talk with your executive coach and decide where it’s most appropriate to incorporate changes, and if so, how and when to do so.
Want to learn how to give and receive feedback? Click here for a previous article.
©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved
Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Working with small and family businesses, her expertise guides leaders and bosses to refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.