professional development

Resilience Requires Leaders to Step Up

by
“Successful leaders must strengthen their resilience to achieve results.” Jeannette Seibly

Traditionally, resilience was about being mentally tough, stoic, and silent about your true feelings. In other words, don’t say anything and hide your reactions.

The American Psychological Association defines resilience: Resilience is the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.

I’m amazed by the number of younger employees who hate their jobs and say, “I’d rather be unemployed.” They jump from one position to another and are often surprised that there is no relief. Many older employees may not love their job responsibilities either. But they have developed a healthy resilience to adapt and become flexible to their jobs’ typical external and internal demands.

This is resilience today! Leaders need to acknowledge their feelings or emotions when triggered and not let them run the show! And, while it is healthy to express yourself, verbal dumping doesn’t work and only creates resentment, not resilience.

Resilience requires taking responsibility and addressing your reactions in a positive manner with your team. Doing so allows for new ideas, resolutions, and solutions to appear.

7 Tips to Create Resilience

Breathe. When you notice you are triggered, breathe in for 5 counts. Pause. Exhale for 5 counts. (Or any number that works for you.) Repeat this breathing pattern 3 times. Breathing reduces the fight, flight or freeze stress response triggered in your brain. Breathing also allows you to take responsibility for your reactions (aka triggers) and is critical before attempting to resolve any issue.

Self-Care. Self-care is essential today for leaders to strengthen their resilience. There are many changes occurring in jobs and workplaces where you have no control over the impact (e.g., loss of employment, work responsibilities, etc.). If you’ve experienced a loss (family member, pet, job, finances, etc.), take the time to grieve. Remember, you do have a choice in your reaction and the attitude you choose.

Get to the Heart or Core of the Problem. Conflicts between you and your team, or between team members, need immediate resolution. This requires a commitment and resilience to work through the apprehension and fear that often stop you and others from achieving the intended results.

Be Responsible for Your Communication Style (most people aren’t)! As a leader, take responsibility. It strengthens resilience. When you are responsible for how you communicate, you show others they can trust you.

Examples:

  • Apologize and stop using words or terminology that others don’t understand.
  • Ask team members questions when they present new ideas and be curious.
  • Remember, when presenting a new solution you’ve been thinking about, it’s the first time they’ve heard it.
  • Keep in mind that people learn at different rates of speed. So take it slow to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Have Reality-Based Conversations. Team members may hold onto upsets, exaggerate them, and use them to justify their poor job performance. Resilience and straight talk with compassion require having tough conversations. Before these conversations, get the facts. Then, talk with your executive coach, boss, or human resources to clarify how to create a positive outcome.

Learn How to Forgive, Even When You Don’t Believe You Should. As a leader, you will have arrows aimed at you when team members feel frustrated or upset. But resilience is vital. While this is easier said than done, forgive those that gossip about, criticize, or blame you. Remember, forgiveness is for you. Remember, don’t say, “I forgive you,” to the offender. This often only worsens the situation since they believe there is nothing to be forgiven for.

Hire the Right Coach. When you’re resilient, you can expand your point of view and step up as a leader. If sticky situations or political relationships are not going well, immediately talk with your executive coach to strengthen your resilience. Listen and learn. You can make things worse and sideline your career if you attempt to do it alone. The same mindset or lack of awareness that created the problem will not resolve it!

©Jeannette Seibly 2020 -2023 All Right Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. With over 30 years as an award-winning international executive coach, speaker, and business author, Jeannette’s clients effectively work through sticky situations and challenging relationships to become positive influencers. Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about strengthening your resilience: Being aware of your feelings and emotions is essential. When you verbally dump on others, it’s damaging and demonstrates a lack of resilience on your part. Contact me for a confidential conversation to strengthen your resilience.

Consider: Strengthening resilience takes time and the experience of successfully working through challenges. I have extensive experience guiding leaders (current and future) to achieve unprecedented results. Contact me if you want an in-depth, one-on-one hour over 13 weeks. Remember, coaching speeds up your ability to excel, starting with strengthening your resilience.

Have you met a challenge you’ve not been able to work through? Many managers and directors have, and their bosses may not be of much help. Now’s the time to develop your resilience and ability to achieve intended results! Waiting will not make a positive difference. Take action and contact me for a confidential conversation.

Want to Improve Productivity? Improve Your Meetings!

by
“Ineffective meetings drain productivity and results.” Jeannette Seibly

Harvard research found that 70% of meetings keep employees from doing productive work. The same study found that employee productivity was 71% higher when meetings were reduced by 40% … also, employee satisfaction improved by 52%.

But before you throw out the importance of meetings, be clear about their purpose: communicating, getting everyone on the same page and in the same book, and solving problems (current, past, and future). The biggest challenge? Too many meetings are poorly planned and facilitated!

We’ve all attended bad meetings (in fact, most of them). But, unfortunately, the negativity sticks with you! It creates a meeting recovery syndrome that hurts your productivity and drains you. But before you blame the facilitator, look at the three fingers pointing back at you! Everyone has a role in conducting effective meetings, one-on-one or group, and onsite or virtually.

These 8 Factors Improve Meetings and Increase Productivity

The biggest question to ask yourself before scheduling a meeting is: “Can I send an email instead of hosting a meeting?” In many cases, the answer will be “Yes!” Do that instead!

MEETING PREPARATION

Before the Meeting. Send out an agenda of specific items for discussion and include all documentation for review. Plan on keeping the meeting short and on point. Remember, some issues are better handled 1:1 or in small groups.

Start and End on Time. This requires everyone to be ready to begin 5 minutes before the actual start time. Turn off all distractions: electronic gadgets, phones, and mind wandering!

If you are the facilitator or presenter, arrive even earlier to ensure:

  • The room is set up physically, or the virtual meeting (or hybrid) is ready to go
  • Ensure PowerPoint presentation works
  • Printed materials are distributed (it’s best if they are emailed the day before)

Come Prepared. Everyone is responsible for coming prepared — that means reading all documents, agendas, and other materials before the meeting and having them readily available to refer to during the meeting. (NOTE: Remember, simple graphs with short narratives are the easiest to understand). Write down questions. Or, better yet, get the questions answered before the meeting!

MEETING PROTOCOL

Take Turns. Make sure you hear from everyone! Unless each person contributes, ideas get missed, important nuances get overlooked, and conflict can erupt! Team members will not voice their concerns if they fear ridicule! Remember, conflicts should not be ignored… there is usually a valid point no one wants to hear. But it’s pay now or pay later!

LISTEN! This is the most critical factor in improving your meetings now. Listening requires active involvement. It includes hearing things you don’t know, don’t agree with, or don’t believe in. Active listening has three components: 1) hearing what is said verbally, 2) hearing what is not said, and 3) being aware of non-verbal cues (e.g., attitude, tone, physical). Good listening skills can resolve old issues and formulate new ideas for products and services. It’s a skill everyone needs to develop.

State Your Point Upfront. Most attendees will stop listening when others talk too long, share gossip, or use technical jargon. Avoid monologues or lengthy responses by starting with the point first, then providing any supporting information to reinforce the point presented.

Ask Questions. Too often, we don’t ask questions to learn more. Instead, we believe we “get it” and then misuse the information. Or, we judge the idea or information as irrelevant without further investigation. Or, we don’t want to ask questions because we feel stupid. (Get over it!) Instead, learn how to drill down and clarify by asking questions out of a commitment to resolve the issue or move the project forward. Stay away from sounding like an interrogator – it puts everyone on the defense.

Reach Alignment. Consensus is non-productive since too much time is spent wooing a person(s) to agree with the majority, creating groupthink. When you reach alignment, you and the team have taken the best information available and made a decision.

Then consider the following:

  • Can everyone live with this decision?
  • Is it workable and doable?
  • If not, what needs to be added or changed so everyone is on the same page moving forward?
  • Then, stand firm and respond factually to the naysayers.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2016-2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. With over 30 years as an award-winning international executive coach, speaker, and business author, Jeannette’s clients effectively work through sticky situations and challenging relationships to become positive influencers. Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about meetings and productivity: Did you know most meetings sabotage productivity and employee satisfaction? The reasons: poor facilitation and quality, and they are time-consuming. It actually creates a “meeting recovery syndrome” where people feel drained and non-productive. It’s time to develop the skills required to hold productive meetings and hold less of them! Contact me for a confidential conversation about a training program!

Consider: It can be challenging to facilitate meetings as a manager or director (or anyone else, too!). I have extensive experience guiding meeting facilitators to improve their meeting management skills, virtually and onsite. Learning this skill takes time and practice. Contact me if you want an in-depth, one-on-one hour over 13 weeks. Remember, coaching speeds up your ability to trust yourself and get results.

How’s your leadership development progressing? Are you moving forward … or a tad stuck? Do you need a “nudge” or “kick-in-the-butt?” Want to accelerate and soar your results? Then, get into action by contacting me for a confidential conversation.

Producing Effective Results Requires Trusting Yourself

by
“Trusting yourself requires experience, resilience, and the willingness to learn from your mistakes.” Jeannette Seibly

Wanting to be a leader, boss, team member, and good citizen requires trusting yourself to take the right actions and asking for help on what to do to create effective results. What you do or do not do impacts others’ ability to trust you to make win-win-win decisions.

How often have you decided and second-guessed yourself because you didn’t trust yourself? Too often, we realize that if you’d asked the right questions or knew what you now know, you’d have made a better decision. But we didn’t trust ourselves, and every leader has been there.

So, how do we learn to trust ourselves?

Important Traits Required to Trust Yourself

Tell the Truth! We love to rationalize, justify, and lie to ourselves and others that we’re doing our best. Trusting yourself is built by asking for help when you don’t know what to do.

Example: What are you doing to make it difficult for your team members to trust you to achieve intended results or to ask you for help (e.g., gossiping, withholding resources, blaming others, etc.)?

Honor Your Word. This can be difficult for many people, including leaders. But, remember, while you may not believe your word impacts yourself or others, it does … and builds or diminishes trust.

Example: Pick up the phone and talk directly with the right person to solve a team conflict or other brewing issue (e.g., HR, boss, or coach). Then, follow through!

Stop Relying Solely on Intuition or Gut Feelings. Too many people rely on feelings, social media rants, and other lousy information and cite these as intuitive or gut reactions. While scientific studies indicate intuition and gut reactions are important, we can’t rely solely on them when making decisions.

Example: Too many hiring bosses rely on intuition and incorrectly use job fit assessments when selecting the right person for the job. This creates losses in retention, revenues, and results.

Learn the Rules. Many people today flaunt or ignore the rules; they are there for a reason. While they may need changing, complaining about them or signing a petition doesn’t make a difference. Building trust in yourself means being accountable for what you say and do with others.

Example: Are you working within your company’s policies and standard operating procedures? Or do you hope no one notices you aren’t? Learning the rules prevents you from planning your excuses if there is a huge and costly mistake.

Learn to Apologize for Mistakes. Instead of relying on your excuses when you make a mistake, genuinely use these words, “I’m sorry.” “I apologize.”  By trusting yourself to apologize for your mistakes, you will build trust with others so they know you take responsibility for your actions.

Example: A woman failed to show up twice in meetings she’d requested, set up with the same person, and then refused to apologize for being a no-show. This is what it looks like when you don’t trust yourself; it encourages others not to trust you.

Be Coachable! The fastest way to learn to trust yourself and encourage others to trust you is to be coachable. While no one can know what to do in every situation, trust yourself to seek the right person to coach you through the best way to resolve issues. Listen and follow the advice of your coach and boss.

©Jeannette Seibly 2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. With over 30 years as an award-winning international executive coach, speaker, and business author, Jeannette’s clients effectively work through sticky situations and challenging relationships to become positive influencers. Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about trusting yourself: Many leaders like to think they trust themselves. Yet, they don’t. How do you know? Watch their actions, which speak louder than words. Contact me to assess how to trust yourself more for better results.

NOTE: Learning to trust yourself requires making the right choices and the right changes. I love coaching and supporting current and future leaders during critical and strategic situations. Contact me if you want an in-depth, one-on-one hour over 13 weeks. Remember, coaching accelerates your ability to trust yourself. This, in turn, influences your team for unprecedented results that others applaud.

How’s your leadership development progressing? Are you moving forward … or a tad stuck? Do you need a “nudge” and “clarification?” Want to accelerate and soar your results? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

How Do You Quietly Hire Employees?

by

Quiet hiring is a way to develop talent without hiring new employees or moving current employees to work when you cannot hire the right people. It was declared a new trend by Gartner, a technological research and consulting firm: Quiet hiring will open up new doors for retaining talent without the cost of a lengthy recruitment process.

While “quiet hiring” is new, the strategy is not. Wise companies have used “internal mobility or upskilling” to keep top talent for many years.

But before you jump on this “newest trend,” here are the issues to address before considering this strategy.

How to Use Quiet Hiring

Quiet hiring is how employers fill positions with current employees and leverage current talent. Normally, it’s done on a temporary basis, or you risk employment law issues.

For example:

  • If your company is a bank and needs someone at the teller window for several hours a day, it’s an excellent opportunity for a loan officer to learn more about the bank and its customers’ needs.
  • If your insurance company needs help in the claims department for a month, you may have one of your underwriters work there temporarily.
  • If your company is in any industry and needs help auditing for a quarter, you may place one of your IT people in that role.

What Are Three Criteria to Implement Quiet Hiring?

  1. It would be best if you had buy-in from your employees. Remember, any change can be scary to them. Be sure to communicate the intention, what is expected, and the benefits to everyone, not just those being “quietly hired” into new roles. Remember, it’s a temporary change and will not affect their benefits and compensation plans.
  2. How to Start the Conversation. You may say, “We/I value your contribution and would like to temporarily use you in a different role (or to take on additional responsibilities). Are you willing to do so?”
  3. Stay Connected. If there are problems before or after the transition, it’s essential to address them immediately. Remember that different teams have different work styles, and bosses have different work expectations (e.g., remote v. onsite, punctuality v. lateness).

How You Use Quiet Hiring to Improve Your Employees’ Skills

  1. Provides Skill Development. It’s a great way to help broaden an employee’s knowledge of the company. It allows them to experience how their normal position impacts the temporary one. Acquiring these new skills prepares them for promotions, new work teams, and other future opportunities.
  2. Reduces the Need for Layoffs and Terminations. It’s a great way to keep good employees by temporarily moving them into different roles or departments.
  3. Helps Them Understand the Impact of Work Quality and Decisions. The added benefit of quiet hiring is that they can learn about the impact they create when making changes in how they do their work or when making decisions. For example: Moving a sales rep into customer service is a great way to experience the aftermath of how the company’s products and services work with customers. (Also known as cross-training.)
  4. Training is Critical! Like anything new, it’s essential that you provide a training program and on-the-job training coach to ensure consistency in how work is done. Remember, they are transitioned to the new position temporar If they make any changes, it can inadvertently impact the entire company and its customers.
  5. Participate in Job Rotation or Job Sharing. These are more formal ways that “quiet hiring” top talent can develop the skills required for future opportunities.

Beware of “Quiet Hiring” Pitfalls

  1. Job Fit Issues. Placing a good employee in a position that does not fit their capabilities means you will lose a good employee. Use a qualified job fit assessment to reduce these types of issues. Remind them it’s temporary. However, if there are consistent problems, you must move them back to where they were doing well.
  2. Unwillingness to Move to New Position. If the move requires the person to be onsite or the person has other concerns such as commute and flex time, address them upfront. It costs time, money, and energy to train people in positions they usually don’t work in; since it’s only temporary, it may not be worth the effort or upset.
  3. Keep the Same Benefits and Comp. If you don’t, you will risk employment law concerns. Contact your HR or employment attorney to determine local, state, and federal impacts — also the same for international employees.

©Jeannette Seibly 2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has over 30 years of award-winning international experience as an executive consultant, speaker, and business author. Her clients surpass the norm by working through sticky situations and challenging relationships to become positive influencers. Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion.

A note from Jeannette about Quiet Hiring: This old employment practice of moving people temporarily into different positions now has a new name: Quiet Hiring! Before you jump on this latest trend, understand the legal, practical, and employee impacts before using! Then, contact me to talk through your hiring and selection challenges!

NOTE: Do you want to win? All leaders who are winners have coaches! I love coaching leaders and have for over 30 years! Contact me if you want an in-depth, one-on-one hour over 13 weeks. Having a coach speeds up your ability to influence others, hire the right people, and coach your team for unprecedented results.

Announcing New Workshop! Traditional leadership (e.g., formal, metrics-driven) is being replaced with human leadership (e.g., focus on the human dynamics that impact results). For example, “That’s how it’s always been done.” vs. “Great idea. How do you recommend we implement it?” However, your managers and directors are being overlooked regarding the training required to be an effective boss and leader. Read about my newest workshop: Are Your Managers and Directors Effective Leaders?

Why Are So Many Leaders Struggling Today? They Are Uncoachable!

by
“Can you imagine wanting to win and ignoring the coach? Yet, many leaders refuse to be coachable.” Jeannette Seibly

Why is coaching essential today? The workplace has changed, and so have the unwritten rules. Trying to stay on top of people, projects, and performance while paying attention to profitability can be difficult. It’s why leaders must learn to be coachable but often are not due to ego, peer pressure, and fear of the unknown.

Why Being Coachable Causes Leaders to Win

Accelerate Self-Awareness. Being coachable helps leaders become mindful of what they do and say. As a result, they develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their motivations, leading to greater mindfulness, self-awareness, and personal fulfillment.

Develop Personal and Professional Growth. Being coachable allows leaders to reflect on their strengths and weaknesses, identify areas for improvement, and discover their blind spots. This process helps them grow and excel; two critical traits required to win.

Increase Effectiveness. Being coachable guides leaders to clarify their goals, create action plans, and be held accountable for their progress. This results in improved performance and increased effectiveness in their roles.

Improve Communication Skills. Being coachable also improves leaders’ abilities to develop their communication, listening, and speaking skills. These are critical to success in any role. Leaders and their teams win when they can articulate their vision, build consensus through team conflict, and negotiate more effectively!

Make Better Decisions. Being coachable helps leaders to clarify their values and priorities and to weigh the consequences of their decisions. Creating win-win-win outcomes due to informed and strategic decisions separates so-so leaders from those who excel and win.

©Jeannette Seibly 2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has over 30 years of award-winning international experience as an executive consultant, speaker, and business author. Her clients surpass the norm by working through sticky situations and challenging relationships to become positive influencers. Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion.

A note from Jeannette about being coachable: Imagine for a moment being part of a team of NFL players and ignoring the coach. Not going to happen! The team knows that being coachable is required to win the game. Yet, many leaders today are not coachable and make leadership harder than it is. As a result, they experience higher-than-average turnover, miscommunication, and failed team results. Contact me to talk through how to be coachable and win!

This week’s PODCAST: Listen to Want to Achieve Great Results? Use Peer Coaching with my guest, Meredith Bell, on The Entrepreneurial Leader.

NOTE: Do you want to win? All leaders who are winners have coaches! I love coaching leaders and have for over 30 years! Contact me if you want an in-depth, one-on-one hour over 13 weeks. Having a coach will speed up your ability to influence others, hire the right people, and coach your team for unprecedented results.

Hey You! Are You Ignoring What Needs to Be Changed?

by
“When you continue ignoring the need to make a difference, you’ll lose your ability to influence change.” Jeannette Seibly

Many leaders claim to be too busy and ignore the big picture and the details of a project or team. But the reality is, if you don’t pay attention, you will be even busier putting out fires, losing top talent and customers, and negatively impacting performance and profitability.

Definition of Ignore by Oxford Languages: “Refuse to take notice or acknowledge; disregard intentionally; fail to consider; reject as groundless (legal).

To stop ignoring, you need to stop relying on excuses.

Instead:

While you cannot change the aftermath of the pandemic, economic upheaval, or industry changes, if you stop ignoring issues, you can influence and impact how you lead your teams.

5 Tips to Stop Ignoring What Needs to Be Changed

  1. Hiring the Right Person, the First Time. When you ignore or overlook best hiring and selection practices, you will keep hiring the wrong type of person who fails. This costs you retention, revenues, and results each time! Example: One employer, each year, told a hiring consultant, ‘This year we had 40% turnover from firing or people leaving. So now we’ve got the right team.’ This was the same explanation each year for three years! The bottom line: nothing changes unless you stop ignoring how you hire and address the core issues!
  2. Resolving Team Conflict. Neglecting to care for the team and their relationships and resources will erupt into team conflict. Take the time now to resolve disagreements, personality differences, and differing points of view. Stop hoping and praying it’ll go away on its own because it won’t! Examples: 1) If it is a perception issue, use a qualified job fit assessment, which objectively shows people’s differences. 2) If it’s an issue with a process or system, brainstorm solutions by ensuring every voice is heard. Yes, they both take time! But it saves hours, days, weeks, months, and yes, sometimes years when you address the issue and stop ignoring it.
  3. Train Your Team. With companies watching their bottom lines, training is the first item slashed. This is very short-sighted. Make sure training skills are not ignored. Reinforce listening, asking questions, critical thinking, emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and project/system design, to name a few. Ignoring these essential skills will cost you!
  4. Develop Yourself. All successful leaders have a coach! (Yes, reread if you don’t already have one!) Unfortunately, many current and future leaders don’t see the need to hire a coach, practice daily ‘soft skill’ training, or behave as participants in workshops with team members. However, when you reject the training and ignore its benefits, you will lose credibility and the ability to influence anyone, anywhere.
  5. Impact of Your Decisions. Being an ostrich and putting your head in the sand will only cause you to ignore the impact of your decisions. Instead, collect and use objective, reliable, and valid data and avoid relying solely on your feelings or gut. Otherwise, if you don’t, the negative impact on customers, employees, work teams, finances, systems, etc. etc. etc. will cause leadership and career derailment!

©Jeannette Seibly 2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and business author. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. As a result, they can work through sticky situations and challenging relationships to become positive influencers. Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about ignoring situations, relationships, and results: Many leaders need to stop ignoring things they can and should impact. They will lose out on leadership and career opportunities if they don’t. Contact me to discuss what you’re ignoring and how to make the necessary changes. It’ll impact your ability to influence results and keep your job!

This week’s PODCAST: Listen to How to Be an Effective Advocate and Be Heard with my guest, Jill Tietjen, on The Entrepreneurial Leader.

NOTE: Do you have changes that need to be made but don’t know where to begin? I love coaching current and future leaders to support them in making important and strategic changes. Contact me if you want an in-depth, one-on-one hour over 13 weeks. It will accelerate your ability to influence others, coach your team for unprecedented results, and make changes that others applaud.

How Do You Bridge Communication Gaps and Create Positive Results?

by

Leaders often wait for a miracle to get the team on the same page. Yet, unfortunately, it rarely happens without the directed effort of the leader.

In my recent article, Are Your Relationships Working? I mentioned “Bridge Communication Gaps” as one of the essential tips for building good and effective working relationships.

Yet, many leaders are perplexed about how to do this in today’s workplace due to diversity, remote work options, and differences of opinion.

5 Essential Ways to Bridge Communication Gaps between Teams and Results

Appreciate Differences … Where Do I Start? You start by using a qualified job fit assessment that provides objective information (not the type of assessment that shows how people want to be seen). For many years, I’ve used the granddaddy of objective job-fit assessment products: PXT Select. Example: When team members (and business partners, boss/employee) are in conflict, I use it to provide an objective review of what’s working and where the communication problems exist. Everyone thinks they know the answers. But 99% of the time, there are surprises. This process and the knowledge you gain build comradery and resolve misperceptions.

Get Everyone on the Same Page. Share the goal, budget, and deadline with the team and allow them to contribute their ideas, thoughts, and opinions. Yes, this often requires training for you and the team on developing and using the skills necessary to communicate, create strategies, and execute results.

Include Everyone’s Ideas. It doesn’t mean all of their ideas are viable and will be used. But when everyone’s ideas are heard and acknowledged, they feel respected and valued. This closes many communication gaps while building positive working relationships.

Brainstorm for Solutions. The same mindset that created the problem will not solve the issue. It requires listening outside the norm and allowing new, off-the-wall ideas to take hold. It will require setting aside egos and judging what is or is not a good idea. Encourage everyone to construct the solution by asking questions for clarification.

Celebrate the Wins and Learn from the Failures. This is critical and often overlooked. Conduct a What Worked?/What Didn’t Work? for each and every project. This review is also a great way to get unstuck in a project, acknowledge the team, and fully appreciate their efforts.

©Jeannette Seibly 2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and business author. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. As a result, they can work through sticky situations and challenging relationships to become positive influencers. Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about bridging communication gaps: For many leaders, this can be scary. They either don’t know how, are afraid to ask for help, or are unwilling to admit there is a problem. However, failure to bridge communication gaps will derail your ability to create good working relationships. It will also negatively impact your retention, revenues, and results. Contact me if you know you should but don’t want to. Don’t worry. You’ll glean at least one idea you can implement immediately.

This week’s PODCAST:  Listen to How the pandemic led a professional copywriter, speaker and author to become an accidental artist with my guest, Debra Jason, on The Entrepreneurial Leader.

NOTE: I love coaching current and future leaders to support them in leading, managing, and hiring their teams. Contact me if you want an in-depth, one-on-one hour over 13 weeks. It will accelerate your ability to influence others, hire the right people, and coach your team for unprecedented results. SeibCo.com/contact/ 

Be Present When Listening

by
“When you’re present during conversations, you become an influential leader because you heard what was being said.” Jeannette Seibly

If we want people to talk to us more, we should start by listening to them more. Simon Sinek

  • Would you like to achieve epic results?
  • Have working relationships with team members that develop them to be leaders?
  • Keep reading!

When we’re in meetings or conversations, and someone else is talking, we often allow ourselves to think of other things. The problem? We stop listening. We miss what the other person said. We also miss nuances that make a big difference in the person’s meaning, even if they didn’t say it.

In my recent article, Are Your Relationships Working?, I mentioned “Be Present” as a key to building relationships. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel a positive affinity when someone is unable or unwilling to listen to what I have to say. Also, as an excellent listener, I am always amazed by others who fail to hear due to bad habits or an unwillingness to be present.

So, what are the critical tips for “being present” during conversations? How does being present impact retention (aka relationships), revenues, and results? Keep reading!

5 Key Tips to Be Present When Listening

Be Focused. When entirely focused on the person speaking, what you learn and hear, and the solutions that can evolve are incredible. It’s true. Just listening and setting aside internal mental chatter makes the person feel valued and respected (aka retention).

Stop Multi-tasking. When listening, set aside your work, negative feelings, and other distractions (e.g., social media posts, gadgets, email notifications). That will allow you to hear the genuine concerns you will otherwise miss (think, customer and employee satisfaction).

Stay Mentally Focused. Instead of allowing yourself to think of rebuttals or allowing yourself to be triggered by what they’ve said, be present and listen. Yes, I understand; this is easier said than done. However, successful leaders learn not to be offended and address issues at the appropriate time.

Set Aside Answers. Too often, when we listen, we listen to develop a solution or answer the person … even when they don’t ask a question! Instead, be present and listen. Don’t offer ideas. Listen to just listen. Be a facilitator and guide the person to brainstorm, allowing them to develop their own answers.

Ask Questions. When you are present, you can ask questions that ensure you understand what is being said. Being present and listening will allow you to inquire into gaps in their thinking or contradictions. Use facts, not feelings, when asking questions (feelings are fleeting and usually don’t reflect the speaker’s words spoken at that moment).

©Jeannette Seibly 2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and business author. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. As a result, they can work through sticky situations and challenging relationships to become positive influencers. Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about being present when listening: It can be challenging to listen when someone is long-winded, or you have no interest in what s/he is saying. The problem? As a leader, not listening hurts your retention (aka relationships), revenues, and results. And being present and listening can make a big difference in what you hear. It allows you to reduce misinterpretations and hurt feelings. Contact me if you’re unclear about how to be present, especially when you don’t want to listen.

This week’s PODCAST: Listen to the Moments of Brilliance: You Don’t Have to Have the Answers! with my guest, Denise Roberts, on The Entrepreneurial Leader.

When You Apologize, It Influences Results

by
“A good leader is unafraid to apologize because it positively influences relationships, revenues, and results.” Jeannette Seibly

A note from Jeannette about apologizing: Remember, no relationship is perfect, and all will have upsets. As a leader, learn how to apologize genuinely… it’s an essential part of communicating effectively. Contact me if you’re unclear about how to apologize or if your recent apology only created more upset.

An employee met with her boss to resolve a critical distribution issue. Unfortunately, he didn’t come prepared and didn’t have the answers. She kept pressing him for the answers she needed. Instead of apologizing for not coming prepared, he left the meeting upset with her. Thirty days later, she left the company.

In my last article, Are Your Relationships Working?, I was surprised by the number of leaders (and others) that said they never apologize. To them, it’s a sign of weakness! They are wrong. Actually, apologizing shows strength and confidence in yourself as a leader. It positively influences your results, retention (aka relationships), and revenues! If you don’t know if you apologize when needed, ask your coach and mentor.

It’s not hard to apologize for your mistakes, misunderstandings, or the words you chose (e.g., profanity, mispronouncing someone’s name, misusing jargon, etc.).

But when leaders refuse to apologize, they don’t realize the mischief and hurt feelings they’ve created:

  • Resentment
  • Gossip
  • Avoidance behavior
  • Snarky remarks
  • Turnover
  • Profitability
  • Loss of customers, jobs, promotions, or pay increases
  • The list is endless!

Let me state this again … as a leader, you don’t have the luxury of not apologizing. It’s your responsibility to keep relationships positive with employees, co-workers, vendors, customers, and even your boss.

How to Make a Genuine Apology

Always start with honesty, courage, and respect, and extend the “olive branch.”

  1. Be present with what you said or the mistake you made. Please keep an open door so that team members can express their concerns. Set aside your ego and openly listen! Then, communicate immediately with your executive coach if you’re uncomfortable offering a genuine apology. Remember, the longer you wait, the more likely a mushroom-size issue becomes the size of a mountain with everyone taking sides!
  2. Offer “I’m sorry” or “I apologize.” Make it 1:1 or with the team (if appropriate). Otherwise, the elephant in the room will stop team members from listening and participating, negatively impacting your results.
  3. Listen to their response. If they are angry because you waited too long or you’ve humiliated them, listen and learn without rebuttal. Apologize once more after they’ve said what they needed to say. But don’t keep on apologizing if it’s not making a difference. Wait for cooler heads to prevail.
  4. Stop defending yourself. The situation happened. Being right or making them wrong won’t get the issue resolved and everyone back in focused action. Start with an apology. Share the goal or intended outcome. Ask if anyone has anything else to say. If they do, don’t defend or use excuses (e.g., “Yeah, but”). If they don’t, move on.
  5. Ask what you can do to resolve it. What needs to happen to move forward? Ask for their opinion and input. Then, wherever possible, use their idea(s) and follow through immediately. If you don’t, the resentment will continue to build.
  6. Forgiveness works magic. Genuine apologies allow you and them to let go of resentments. Then, true forgiveness is possible.

PS: Remember to forgive others who have offended you or made inappropriate comments.

Remember, all relationships have their upsets. As a leader, learn how to apologize genuinely… it’s an essential part of communicating effectively.

©Jeannette Seibly 2019-2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or a challenging relationship? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

This week’s PODCAST:

Listen to Do Whatever You Can to Serve Others with my guest, Deb Krier, on The Entrepreneurial Leader.

Are Your Relationships Working?

by
“We all have relationships that work and those that do not. The common denominator is you. What can you do to improve them?” Jeannette Seibly

All leaders know that the quality of their leadership depends on the quality of their relationships. Yet, many lack clarity on maintaining and improving these valuable sources of information, comradery, and partnerships. Leaders know good working relationships produce better results, more fun, and increased job satisfaction. (Yes, even for the introverts reading this.)

But in professional relationships, we all have blind spots. Yet few of us take advantage of learning what they are and how to overcome them because we think we already know what they are. Do you see the irony? So let me help you: You have no idea what your blind spots are. That’s why they are called blind spots … they are blind to you. But they get in the way of others having a good working relationship with you!

7 Essential Tips to Improve Your Relationships

  1. Be Present. This is one of the most important yet overlooked ways to improve relationships. When in conversation, be present. Set aside distractions and mental chatter. It tells others, “They matter.”
  2. Listen. Just listening without responding makes a significant difference in people feeling comfortable talking with you. However, believing it’s not worth your time to listen causes future problems. Remember, failure to listen to a team member takes a mushroom-size issue and makes it an immovable mountain! After listening, be curious and ask questions (e.g., “Tell me more.” “Why is this important?” “How can I help?”)
  3. Apologize. Yes, this is a difficult one for many leaders (think, ego.) When you’ve upset someone or failed to honor your word (think, excuses), it’s time to apologize. All you need to say is, “I apologize.” Then, change the bad habit or forgetfulness that caused the issue.
  4. Stop Being Annoyed. Yes, this is a hard one. But the following exercise does work. (I know because I’ve used it!) First, write down three to five things that annoy you. Now, stop allowing yourself to be annoyed when these happen!
  5. Forgive Others. Holding onto grudges and being offended only hurts you! Talk it out with one trusted ally to gain perspective. Then, forgive yourself for being human and know that not everyone will like you as their leader. But, as the leader, you are responsible for creating a workable relationship with each and every team member. (Not the other way around. So, get to it!)
  6. Hire a Coach. Yes, the right coach can help you work through those “sticky-stuck” situations and politically charged relationships. So hire the right coach today and get the year off to a great start!
  7. Bridge the Communication Gap. I’ve found this an easy way to get people on the same page and talking with one another. First, use a qualified job fit assessment tool that provides objective information (not the type of assessment that shows how you want to be seen). For many years, I’ve used the granddaddy of objective job-fit assessment products: PXT Select. Example: I received a letter from two clients that needed to bridge a growing communication gap. They said, “I thought I knew the person. Yet, I discovered the other person wasn’t who I thought he was.” Remember, these assumptions and trying to be someone you’re not will always get in the way of building solid and effective relationships.

©Jeannette Seibly 2023 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or a challenging relationship? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A note from Jeannette about relationships that work: I observed a situation where a team member let another team member ‘have it.’ A third team member, watching the interaction, leaned over and whispered to me, “This is why I like doing things on my own and not being part of a group of people.” I’m sure this has happened to you. And maybe you’ve expressed the same sentiment. But the truth is, as a leader, you must work with and through others to build strong relationships. So address that complicated relationship now. Contact me to resolve it now before it gets worse because they usually do.

Listen to the Building Relationships in Your Business with my guest, Marsha Haygood, on The Entrepreneurial Leader.