When You Feel Stuck, Stop Believing Something Is Wrong with You!

“To get unstuck, stop believing there is something wrong with you. Only then, can you discover ‘why.’” Jeannette Seibly

A couple of months ago I worked with a business owner, Joyce. Joyce shared she’d had a bad year and hated managing people. A previous coach had given Joyce a standard answer, “Learn to become a manager of people to grow your business.” Joyce tried but her business suffered. She believed something was wrong with her and was stuck not knowing what to do next.  

After reviewing her job fit assessment, Joyce learned she was fine! She just didn’t have the interest in developing the skills to manage people. I let her know that it was OK to stop thinking she had to manage people to grow her business! (This encouraged Joyce to stop beating herself up.)

Now Joyce is back selling and restructuring her business model for success. She’s unstuck and happy again!

This often happens when you use a “standard cookie-cutter approach” instead of getting real about why you are stuck!

Do remember the cartoon, Wylie Coyote, and the number of times he hit the wall and slid down? Do you remember he’d get back up and hit that same wall again, over and over?

In real life, many of us are like that. We get stuck and stay stuck for too long out of fear there’s something wrong with us. Or, sometimes worse, listen to the wrong advice. And, sometimes rely on our feelings and become emotionally attached about the right way to go.

It doesn’t need to be that way! Everyone gets stuck! It’s what you do to get unstuck that matters!

“Everyone gets stuck! It’s what you do to get unstuck that matters!” Jeannette Seibly

5 Ignored Truths to Get You Unstuck!

1. The #1 Culprit: The Grass is Greener Syndrome. When you compare your life, jobs, and other factors to others, you can get jealous. You are stuck believing life will be better if you have what they have! But the reality is that the grass isn’t greener someplace else. It’s just different. In time, if you do leap to a new job, home, or relationship before you are ready, you’ll experience the same “stuckness” all over again! The key is to look inward! Use meditation, work with an experienced coach, and be willing to do the right work to find a new pathway for your success.

 Years ago, I worked with a CPA, Darla. She’d been a great employee but over the past 6 months adopted a negative attitude. After we talked through her job fit results (she was a good fit), I asked, “What’s the problem?” Darla’s answer, “I want to travel.” I replied, “Then, aren’t you in a great job that can allow you to do that! Your heavy workload is during the 1st quarter of the year. After that, you can schedule time for travel!” She agreed, shifted her mindset, and became a good employee again!

2. The #2 Culprit. Poor Job Fit. Over 70% of people are in jobs that don’t fit them. (Gallup) Too many people have fallen into the trap of believing they can be successful in any job they want. In an ideal world, this might be true. But we don’t live there! We get stuck thinking we can be our own boss or get rich selling insurance (two of thousands of examples), instead, we fail! Here’s why: You don’t fit the thinking style, core behaviors, and occupational interests for success in those occupations. Use a qualified job assessment to objectively provide real data. It’ll tell you “why” you’re stuck. Then, talk it through with your coach before talking with your boss to make appropriate job changes.

3. A corollary to #2 … Expand Job Responsibilities. CAUTION: this is NOT about doing more work! Busy work can create boredom, frustration, and emptiness! It’s about taking on new responsibilities that expand your skills and engage you in your job. Develop your “brag statements” before pitching to your boss the need for job changes.

4. Get Real and Stop the Trial & Error. Honestly, it’s exhausting. Listen DIYers! Yes, I know. You think you have it all handled. But the reality is, if you stay stuck or keep getting stuck in the same place, you need to expand your perspective and change up your game plan. The most effective way to shift this is to work with a real and experienced coach. Stop relying on friends who tell you what you want to hear!

David, a former executive, found himself fired from his job of 15 years. He spent the next 5 years trying out different jobs, including buying a franchise. Exhausted from his failures and financially struggling, he finally reached out to his coach (me) to answer the question, “Why?”. Now, he is happy and working in a 6-figure job he loves.

5. You May Have Hit Your Ceiling. I have found there are times when people “max out.” It’s time to sell the business, work in a new company, retire, transfer to a new job, and/or create a new goal for their life. But before jumping to something new, talk it out with your coach. Uncover the real underlying issue. Remember, there is a difference between boredom and being antsy to move on before you’re ready.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Are you frustrated that your team loves conflict and chaos more than achieving intended results? Discover how to step up and work through these saboteurs now, before it’s too late!

A Note about Getting Unstuck and Thinking Something is Wrong with You from Jeannette. Too often we look at others, become jealous, and then, make changes that don’t work for us. We get “stuck.” When we allow ourselves to stay stuck in boredom, frustration, and emptiness, our emotional attachments sabotage our career and life choices. There’s a lot of hyperbole out there! Get real by working with a real coach to discover why you are stuck. This is the best time to move forward. Contact me to start a confidential conversation and feel energized again.

A Costly Management Practice That is Avoidable

Employees today feel stressed, unclear about new expectations, and ready to bail for another job.

Companies not knowing what else to do, attempt to soothe and keep these employees by providing promotions or job transfers.

This IS the most expensive unrealized management practice in companies today. And, has been for a very long time. Why?

Promoting someone before they are ready or moving someone into a job that is not a good fit will have them leave. (Remember, they were once good employees.) They will take with them customers and top talent.

How do you stop this costly management practice?

There are 3 places you can impact your employees and keep top talent:

Ø  Hire: The least expensive and most effective place to start. When was the last time your company designed a selection process that used real objective data to achieve consistent results?

Ø  Coach: Most bosses and executives are poor coaches. What is the cost of hiring qualified coaches for bosses vs. top talent leaving?

Ø  Before They Leave: Bosses ignore the signs and offer more money (or other perks) to keep them! What are you doing to keep top talent engaged and looking forward to work each day? (Hint: Giving them more money or perks doesn’t last since they’ll still leave in the near future. Same with ill-advised promotions or job transfers.)

Is there a better way? Definitely! If you’re struggling or uncertain how to use the right tools and practices to stop this expensive management practice, contact me. We’ll start a conversation of how to improve your management practices. JLSeibly@SeibCo.com Or if urgent, 303-917-2993

It’s the 2nd Quarter! Let’s create a new normal that supports each and every employee.

Your customers, top talent, and bottom line will thank you!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

How to Make It Easy to Create Viable Solutions

“Win-win-win solutions means: you win, I win, and others impacted win too!” Jeannette Seibly

Many of us are struggling today to create viable solutions during this new normal. The challenge is we don’t have a crystal ball to foresee new options. As a result, we default to the same old ways because it seems easier and faster. But problems will arise when outdated solutions get in the way of real results because we missed important details.

Now, more than ever, it’s important to work with and through your team for solutions. The process builds confidence and trust in each other, while creating new momentum for better solutions. So, stop relying on your own counsel and set aside the excuse that it takes too much time to ask for others’ input! Listen now or pay later!

“Listen now or pay later!” Jeannette Seibly

6 Ways to Create Win-Win-Win Solutions

  1. Identify the real issue. How many times have you created solutions only to learn it wasn’t the real issue? This occurs when team members are afraid to tell the truth. They fear the consequences of speaking up and being judged. Company politics also squelches getting real. To overcome these barriers, deep dive by asking good open-ended questions. Be willing to listen to what you don’t want to hear (e.g., poor team performance, bad system design, lack of training, etc.). Armed with the truth, you and your team can now create win-win-win solutions.
  2. Accept potential solutions that are not your own. How many times have you stopped listening to ideas that were not your own? Yes, this happens more often than you think! This bad habit limits your teams from offering new possibilities. Be open, listen, and be curious! Create three viable options (Rule of 3) before determining which one to pursue first.
  3. Encourage each team member to share. Inclusion is key. Ask each and every team member for their input. Go around the table, whether it’s virtual or on-site. Then, do it again. Write everything down so all team members can see the information during the meeting.
  4. Value contributions. Don’t judge! While you may argue some ideas are nonsense, be patient and trust the process. Some ideas will be off-the-wall, some ideas may be before their time, and others will be the same old ones. But these will spark solutions if you value each person’s ideas! The process also creates energy and momentum for moving forward.
  5. Use critical thinking before aligning on the final solution. Conduct due diligence to uncover any legal, financial, or other limitations that will impact your chosen solution. This requires you and your team to deep dive behind the internet headlines. Remember, while the solution may have worked for your competition or in your best friend’s company, it does NOT mean it will be appropriate for you and your business. That’s why you use the “Rule of 3.” When you don’t become emotionally attached to only one solution, you are less likely to overlook critical key points.
  6. Manage the bumps and distractions along the way. Team conflict, new budget constraints, or new legal concerns (to name a few) can derail any solution. Don’t let it stop you or get you stuck! Talk with your coach to work through the challenges and learn from them. It’s your role to manage these roadblocks along the way and create win-win-win solutions.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Discover why team upsets and frustrations cannot be ignored. No! Waiting it out won’t solve it!

A Note about Creating Viable Solutions from Jeannette. Too often we review the tactics we’ve used in the past to create solutions for today. The problem is, relying on the same old ways of doing business during the new normal will derail results. “Listen now or pay later!” Take the time to create new viable solutions. It doesn’t need to be time-consuming or difficult! Review this week’s 6 Tips to keep you moving forward! If you get stuck, contact me to start a confidential conversation.

Create a Results-Producing Customer-Focused Culture

“If you want to create a customer-focused culture, you must start by being accountable for the results!” Jeannette Seibly

As a leader, creating results-producing, can-do customer-focused teams requires being accountable! You must develop laser-like attention to hiring, coaching, training, and managing your team and team members. If you don’t, you will create a chaotic workplace culture, and customers will fire you and seek out your competition!

Many leaders operate as elite helicopters flying at 30-feet above the action. While they are hovering, they fail to plan for and handle important details. They tend to cause team conflicts and they are often considered a difficult team leader!

Remember, it’s not business as usual! It’s time to get real before you lose customers and top talent!

5 Required Tips for Creating a Results-Producing, Can-Do Customer-Focused Team

  1. Promote the Right Bosses! Yes, it starts here! Stop promoting people that are not already exhibiting good people management skills. Instead, create a separate career ladder for them that recognizes their strengths. Otherwise, they will become toxic bosses and top talent will leave! Your customers will leave with your top talent!
  2. Hire Right the First Time. Use data-driven, objective, and consistent information to select the right people for the right jobs Regardless of what job candidates tell you about their experiences, use the right tools to ensure they fit your job requirements. Hiring great team members will attract top talent and great customers too! Your customers will thank you since they don’t have to keep training new employees that soon leave!
  3. Create Company Values that Inspire. It’s not business as usual. You must set aside your ego and remember your team members are watching and emulating what you do! Dust off the company mission and value statements. Get your executives and bosses onboard and trained! Your customers seek vendors and service providers to give them what they requested the first time!
  4. Value Learning and Development. Creating a customer-focused workplace culture starts with you. Are you holding your teams accountable for meeting customer needs and achieving intended results? Are you ensuring all workshops, online and on-site, include all employees, bosses, and executives as participants? Are you including the right training? Must have training includes: Inclusion, Conducting effective meetings, Critical thinking, True brainstorming, Alignment, and Achieving intended results.
Are you holding your teams accountable for meeting customer needs and achieving intended results?

Your customers value teams that are working on the same page at the same time!

  1. Expand Your Team’s Mindset. Life and work experiences, education, and other beliefs create a person’s mindset. It influences how you and your team members interact with customers and each other. Your job as the leader is to hold your team members accountable for fulfilling the customers’ needs. Your customers experience value by what you do and how you do it!

©Jeannette Seibly 2021

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Do you want your team to be part of the elite 10% that achieves intended results? MUST READ! “7 Reasons Why Teams Don’t Resolve Conflict”  Reason #2 is especially important!

A Note about Creating a Results-Producing Customer-Focused Culture from Jeannette. Do you consider yourself the type of leader that operates like an elite helicopter flying at 30-feet above the action? Do you know that by hovering, you fail to plan for and handle important details? Do you know you also become a difficult team leader? If you want to inspire your teams to produce intended results,  contact me to start a confidential conversation.

Are Your Mental Abilities Feeling Foggy?

“A new challenge emerging from the pandemic is not recognizing people, things, and situations as we remember them.” Jeannette Seibly

A couple of weeks ago I called a consultant who does HR work. We’d talked off and on for the past 18 months about using assessments. He had several clients that needed to resolve management issues. In the meantime, he had introduced me to a new client needing to hire someone. The last time we talked was in December 2020. I called him a couple of weeks ago to follow-up. He told me, “I don’t know who you are, and I remember faces.”  

Whoa! What a surprise. He was sure we’d never spoken with each other before. I painted a picture of our call in December. His response was, “I receive 116 emails daily.” So, I sent an email for a Zoom meeting, but doubt I will hear back from him.

You are not alone if you have had a similar experience. If you’re in sales, business development,  management consulting, or leading virtual teams, you are more likely to face this new challenge for remembering people, completing normal tasks, and recalling specific points during a conversation. Many find they are “not functioning with normal mental quickness or struggling to find the right word.” (Why Your Brain Feels Broken, NYTimes Parenting)

Also, there are the memory challenges experienced by people who are COVID long-haulers, working baby boomers, and people multi-tasking instead of listening. Additionally, mental health challenges (e.g., depression, anxiety, and stress), can lead to false memories too. (PsychologyToday.com)

As you physically go into offices and business meetings, you must interact with people as they are today, not as you remember them from over a year ago! People change. These changes will impact conversations and situations since perspectives have changed too.

Some of you will even question your own memory if you failed to listen and allowed distractions!

7 Tips to Create Mental Clarity

  1. Paint a Picture. If someone says, “I don’t remember …” or they appear not to remember, paint a picture of the last conversation. Describe where you were. Include any unusual situation (the coffee shop didn’t sell tea). Stay factual.
  2. Offer Your Name. Don’t play the guessing game. This will leave someone frustrated or upset they can’t remember. Instead, give them your name, business focus (10 words or less), and a quick overview of your last interaction. If you don’t remember your last interaction, start fresh and have a conversation about today.
  3. Stay Focused by Putting Away Distractions. “A lot of people think they are good at multi-tasking. The sad truth is they are not.” (Dr. Sanjay Gupta, author of Keep Sharp: How To Build a Better Brain at Any Age) If you multi-task during discussions, you will miss hearing important information and feel lost in future conversations. Some of you will even question your own memory if you failed to listen and allowed distractions!
  4. Send an Email. Recap and outline three key points. Do this before a scheduled meeting to get both of you on the same page faster. Be aware, if the person remembers it differently, ask for his/her version. Again, stick with the facts.
  5. Listen Anew. Put aside what you believe you already know or remember about the person, thing, or situation. Remember, you can be right or you can be effective. Instead, build a new bridge from yesterday to today by listening and being curious. It’s a great opportunity to create a “new normal.”
  6. Exercise, Eat, and Stay Active. This keeps your brain sharp. Sudoku, jigsaw puzzles, and word games are several ideas to help keep your brain active. Eat a healthful diet and get up from your desk every hour and move for a few minutes. (Gupta)
  7. Remember to breathe when you feel agitated, frustrated, or you’re struggling to remember a word, phrase, or person! This is a simple and effective technique. It calms your brain from its automatic reaction of fight, flight, or freeze. Also, it reduces your stress of having to get it right and calms you so you can be present during the current conversation.

 ©Jeannette Seibly 2021

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Want to know what egos and team results have in common? Get your answers by click here.

A Note about Feeling Mental Fogginess from Jeannette. “At the University of California Irvine, research is beginning on how the lockdown has affected people’s memories. It’s been reported that even some of those amazing people who usually remember events like buying a cinema ticket 20 years earlier because they have highly superior autobiographical memory are finding they are forgetting things.” (BBC) The bottom line is, be kind to yourself and to others when memories are not clear as usual. If you want clarity on how to build a bridge from yesterday to today when talking with people, contact me to start a confidential conversation.

The #1 Reason Teams Don’t Zap Conflict

Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash
“If you want great team results, value different points-of-view while managing the process and moving the conversation forward.” Jeannette Seibly

The #1 reason team members are unwilling to zap team conflict is the fear of consequences (80%*).

The result surprised me because not much has changed over the years.

Years ago, I facilitated a team and there was a guy named Rob who didn’t like listening to people with different ideas. And, gave me a hard time for giving everyone a chance to speak. In fact, he would make snide comments like, “That’ll never work” or “You’re wrong” creating no-win disagreements with others. One time he wrote about me, “Must be her time of the month!” I felt humiliated.

But, as the facilitator, I didn’t allow it to deter the purpose of the team. Ironically, Rob was being fast-tracked by executive management. So, when Rob’s comments continued, I mentioned it to my VP. He responded, “You’re overreacting.” But, for whatever reason, Rob stopped attending the meetings to the relief of everyone on the team. The conflict he created was gone. They were now able to do a great job of achieving the intended results without Rob as a roadblock.

There are a lot of programs available on conducting effective meetings and managing conflicts. Every team leader and member must access this information to improve their confidence and their team’s results.

Remember, “If you’re waiting for someone else to take the initiative, so are they!” Jeannette Seibly

Keep in mind, team conflict is not a bad thing. But how you manage team discussions makes all the difference. If you don’t learn how to resolve team disputes constructively, your team will fail. Unresolved team quarrels are why only 10% of teams achieve their intended results! (Pritchard)

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash
“If you’re waiting for someone else to take the initiative, so are they!” Jeannette Seibly

11 Tips to Guide You to Resolve Team Conflicts and Build Better Result

  1. Be Intentional. Most team members attend meetings with the intention of “just getting through it” and use the time to think about other things. Attend each meeting with the intention of listening, learning, and ensuring the process is moving forward, great results will follow.
  2. Park Your Ego at the Door. Roll up your sleeves and go into the meeting to move the project or program forward. When issues arise, and they will, listen to the other person’s argument instead of thinking of a rebuttal. You may find you agree! This is required to build better ideas.
  3. Set Up the Team to Win. At the very beginning of a project or program, be clear about the goal, timeline, budget, and get buy-in from all team members. Define who the project or program is for (e.g., company-wide, department, customer, association, etc.). Address any naysayers now. If you wait, it’ll only get worse.
  4. Ensure Everyone Has Chance to Speak. Whether you are the team leader or not, encourage candor. Ask clarifying questions when needed and value each person’s responses. Call on each team member to ensure no one is missed. Allow them to say, “pass” if they have nothing to add. To manage time, remind team members they have 3 minutes each.
  5. Encourage Brainstorming. This is Critical. Brainstorming issues allows each person to share their insights and experiences without comments from others. Don’t make any decisions without hearing from everyone.
  6. Build on Other’s Ideas. To align on ideas, again, give each team member a chance to speak. When it’s your turn, focus on an idea already offered and add any new info. Don’t ever bash others’ ideas.
  7. Don’t Take Sides. When asked your opinion, share the positive attributes of both sides. If you have an idea that is win-win-win, offer it. Then, allow others to take credit for it.
  8. Bring in an Outside Influencer. Instead of feeling disheartened your team is in turmoil, ask for help. An outside influencer will review the facts, provide insights, and guide critical thinking. Remember your intention is to resolve the issue, not assess blame.
  9. Agree or Agree to Disagree. A quick way to resolve a disagreement: repeat back what the person said to his/her satisfaction before offering your own opinion. Have them do the same in return. (Often, you’ll discover that what you thought was a disagreement no longer exists.) This ensures the other person feels heard. Remember, only one person speaks at a time. This deters the triggers that can set people off on new tangents while confusing the core issue.
  10. Seek Out Mentoring and Coaching. Talk with your mentor or coach on how to best handle the conflict. Remember, the focus is not on who is right or wrong, it’s getting the issue(s) resolved. Don’t forget, bosses want results-producers that are committed to fulfilling the intended results.
  11. Learn and Master the Art of Working with Difficult Team Members. These skills will support you in all group and team efforts. You must practice them to master them!

 *The stat came from people responding to an online survey or participating in a focus group I conducted.

 ©Jeannette Seibly 2021

 Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

 A Note about Resolving Team Conflicts from Jeannette. Team conflicts can be disheartening to even the strongest of team leaders and facilitators. But team conflicts can be used to produce intended results when managed constructively. There are many training and coaching programs available to develop the skills required for conducting effective meetings. Need help? I’ve been running meetings that have produced unprecedented results for over 30 years…contact me and we’ll brainstorm answers for you. Contact me!

It’s a New Normal. Are You Ready to Get Employees Skill-Ready?

“You will lose key employees and customers if your people are not talent-ready.” Jeannette Seibly

In October 2020, the World Economic Forum released its report of the top 15 skills for 2025. While 2025 may seem a long way off, it’s not.

As you read the list note software development, cybersecurity and technology are not at the top of the list. Instead, it’s about creativity, problem solving, analytical thinking, and innovation.

It is critical companies develop these necessary skills today. Waiting until 2025 won’t work since your company will be left behind its competition. Start training at the top and cascade down now. This reinforces the skills training since your executives and managers will set a positive example.

3 Key Issues Often Overlooked

  • Discrimination practices will get in the way when designing individual training goals. Insert into your leaders’ job descriptions, “training and coaching the next leaders include each and every person!”
  • Failure to budget and use that money for training tells customers your business is not ready to be their vendor or contractor.
  • Hiring, coaching, and managing are much easier and less expensive if you hire and promote based on job fit. This requires using objective data on a consistent basis. Not everyone has an interest in learning and using the new skills appropriately.

Here is the “List of the Top 15 Skills” (click here for the full report):

(Note: most of these are considered “soft skills,” which are often ignored.)

  • Analytical thinking and innovation
  • Active learning and learning strategies
  • Complex problem-solving
  • Critical thinking and analysis
  • Creativity, originality, and initiative
  • Leadership and social influence
  • Technology use, monitoring, and control
  • Technology design and programming
  • Resilience, stress tolerance, and flexibility
  • Reasoning, problem solving, and ideation
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Troubleshooting and user experience
  • Service orientation
  • Systems analysis and evaluation
  • Persuasion and negotiation
Are you ready? Happy employees are well trained in all aspects of their work.

5 Key Factors to Prepare Your Company for Success

  • Create a strategic plan for ongoing training and skill development. Make sure your budget includes consistent communication reminders on how to use these new skills!
  • Develop skill levels (basic, medium, and advanced) required for different job responsibilities. For example, non-tech salespeople need systems awareness but don’t need advanced systems analysis and evaluation.
  • Select trainers who are shining examples of using these skills (internal and external). They must be able to engage participants and answer questions. Otherwise, your leaders and employees will lose interest.
  • Provide easy-to-access workshops, videos, coaching, and 1:1 training to reinforce skills. Ensure manager/executives receive the training first. This will set an example for all team members.
  • Encourage team members to work in cross-functional groups and rotate who leads the team. This will expand everyone’s knowledge on how to apply these new skills in different situations.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note about Getting Your Employees Talent-Ready from Jeannette. 2021 is not business as usual and employees are frustrated with the lack of new opportunities for skill development. (Yes, even your newly hired team members.) Now is the time to develop everyone, from the top-down, to expand their skills and knowledge. It gets team members excited to come to work each day!  Need help? Yes, we all need help from time-to-time. Contact me!

How to Prevent Overconfidence from Hurting Team Results

“Remember, 90% of the world’s information is in people’s heads, not the internet!” Jeannette Seibly

Overconfidence is a tendency to hold a false and misleading assessment of our skills, intellect, or talent. (Corporate Finance Institute)

Now, more than ever, confidence is important. It encourages your team, customers, and communities to follow your lead. But problems arise when you are overconfident. This occurs when you fail to understand that business is not the same as usual and fail to adjust for the “new normal.”

A leader worked in an IT company that had great financial success during 2020. But when he oversold a new project, the team balked when he shared the requirements! His overconfidence failed to consider the team was unwilling to come into the office and go into the customer’s office to work on it. The added challenge was, he lacked the skills to manage the new project virtually. He listened to his mentor and reached out to his coach. He got the help he needed. He learned a lot and learned how to brag about his skills in a business-savvy manner rather than be overconfident.

Remember, we’re in a new normal…what you did before may not work today. So, stop, listen, and welcome new ideas. Then, transform how you manage your team, projects, and results asap.

6 Tips to Develop Healthy Confidence

Be aware of your communication style is important. Learn to be aware of words or actions that signal you’re being overconfident (e.g., “I’ve got this handled!” “I never fail!” “This always works.”). Work with your coach to see what you may be stepping over or failing to address when this happens.

Be honest about your skills. Take the time to conduct an accurate assessment of yourself and learn about your blind spots. Work with your coach and use objective data from scientifically validated job-fit assessments. These tools guide you to go beyond how you want to be seen. Instead, they help you discover what it’s like to work with you from the team’s perspective!

Stop comparing yourself with others. Too often, we blame others for mistakes they make, but excuse our own! Develop your emotional intelligence (EI). Learn how to use compassion and empathy to work through mistakes and learn from them. This strengthens your ability to achieve intended results.

Test your assumptions before declaring your decisions. When we make decisions based on fragments of information, we’re often wrong. Develop your critical thinking by deep diving into the factual pros and cons. Use your network to test your assumptions. Remember, 90% of the world’s information is in people’s heads, not the internet!

Listen to others’ feedback and concerns. Leaders welcome brainstorming and hearing others’ ideas. Learn how to manage healthy disagreements and ensure all team members can express their concerns and ideas. Remember, a healthy skepticism will save your career and the financial impact of a bad decision. Most importantly, learn to listen to what you don’t want to hear to improve your results.

Recognize when it’s the right time. While many ideas may work with modifications, it may not be the right time or place to put them into action.  Avoid using circular logic to push through ideas your business and customers are not ready to handle.

“Overconfidence can derail results when your ego gets in the way.” Jeannette Seibly

How to Work with Overconfident Leaders

Stay aware and mindful in conversations. Listen up when your leader is sharing a decision s/he is making or about to make. It will impact you, your project, team, and budget, either directly or indirectly. Ask open-ended questions for clarification rather than debating the leader’s decision.

Stand up and speak up. When leaders are overconfident, we tend to question our own point of view. (Harvard Business Review) Stop! Be assertive and have a conversation armed with the facts. Remember, diplomacy is critical. While you may be right, overconfident leaders will ignore you when their ego feels threatened. The outcome of these types of conversations can impact your future projects and results as well.

If the leader’s idea or assertion does not impact you, avoid confrontation. Choose which issues to pursue. If you confront every issue, the leader and team will stop listening to you. Instead, address major issues that will impact you from a win-win-win perspective.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019-2021

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note About Being an Overconfident Leader from Jeannette. It’s not business as usual. During this new normal, take the time to develop your emotional intelligence (EI). Skills include listening, critical thinking, and managing virtually. Developing these skills now will impact the quality of your results, today and tomorrow.

How to Use Adversity to Make You Stronger

“Want to take advantage of new opportunities this year, then, learn from 2020.” Jeannette Seibly

Many leaders, bosses, and businesses experienced difficult challenges, hardships, and misfortune during 2020. This includes closing companies, losing top talent, and facing financial hardships. And, many also dealt with health and family challenges.

It takes brave and committed leaders to use adversity as a launching pad to transform a situation, project, and/or relationship. Doing it the right way makes individuals, teams, and businesses stronger.

Working through adversity is never an easy process, especially when it’s forced on you. But the good news is, you can do it.

A year from now in 2022 when you look back to 2021, you will see how you turned adversity into a great opportunity. You’ll also experience how it made you, your team, and your business stronger.

Now, not tomorrow, is the time to do the right work and use 2020 adversity to make you stronger.

“Seeing situations from others’ points of view make it easier for people to feel heard by you.” Jeannette Seibly

6 Tips to Make You and Your Team Stronger

Get Real About What Happened. Everyone has experienced failure and unexpected adversity. There’s no shame in it. Breakdowns in projects and relationships can be due to things you did or didn’t do. Some catastrophes were beyond your control. (COVID) Regardless, it’s important that you stop and assess what truly happened and tell the truth. Putting frosting on mud pie and calling it a cake doesn’t change it from a mud pie!

TIP: Infuse objectivity into conversations by completing the year, project, and/or situation. Complete this exercise: What Worked? / What Didn’t Work? Then, ask, “What were the lessons learned?” This exercise must be done before you can move forward powerfully.

Develop Empathy. This can be difficult when you have little empathy for yourself and others. But it’s important during 2021 and beyond to develop emotional intelligence (EI). Seeing situations from others’ points of view make it easier for people to feel heard by you. It will also make it easier for them to listen to you!

TIP: To develop your empathy skills, talk with a qualified coach or therapist, and do the inner work required.

Develop Inner Confidence. Fake it until you make it is an old cliché where people imitated confidence, competence, and an optimistic mindset. The problem is today, fake confidence can be easily spotted. Instead, develop true inner confidence which in turn creates success.

TIP: To develop your inner confidence, work on a project with your team. Hire the right coach to guide you and the team along the way to ensure success and keep everyone focused.

Be Responsible for What You Are Saying and Sharing. Today’s focus on transparency can backfire when relying on TMI (too much information). It can damage relationships and the ability of people to trust you! This includes what you share with customers and top talent.

TIP:

  • Keep a private journal and write down your thoughts and feelings. Not everything needs to be shared.
  • Develop mindful resilience by forgiving yourself and others. (This is an inner exercise for you only. Do not tell others, “I forgive you.” Why? Because doing so only creates more adversity.)
  • Work with your coach and craft conversation points to share with your team and customers.

Focus Forward. Stop rehashing what happened by completing your “What Worked? / What Didn’t Work?” exercise. Remember, emotionally strong leaders lead the way by focusing on what’s next, not in the past. Look for new opportunities inside adversity.

TIP: Work with a trained facilitator to guide you and your team through this inquiry. In the process, you will uncover new systems, products, and services for 2021.

Practice Thanks!  Everyone loves appreciation. Saying “please”, “thank you”, and “great work” is important. When done authentically, your teams grow and your customers feel valued.

TIP: Get your copy of “It’s Time to Brag! Business Edition”. Learn how to brag in a business-savvy manner. Then, share with confidence the successes you, and your team and customers have had without sounding like a braggart!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note About Using Adversity to Make You Stronger from Jeannette. 2020 was a good year for some and a bad year for many. Stop lamenting about the awful things that happened. Instead, get unstuck and focus on moving forward. 2021 will be a great year if you learn from adversity and become stronger as a leader. Now is the best time to get started!

How to Be a Better Boss When Your Team Believes You’re a Bad One

“Being a good boss is an inside job. It requires mindful resilience and emotional intelligence to succeed.” Jeannette Seibly

Being told you’re a bad boss isn’t fun. But it can be a gift. Remember, it took courage for your team member or team to tell you they hate your bad management style.

It’s 2021 and time to get busy. Use the feedback as a great opportunity to get real about how to manage your team members. It will improve your results and make you more coachable.

7 Important Tips to Become a Better Boss

Listen to Learn. This is key! Usually, bad bosses are poor listeners. They listen to defend, minimize their responsibility, and blame others. STOP! Don’t fall into that trap. You’re better than that. Remember, listening is a lifelong skill that you must develop each and every day.

Value Feedback. Complete a 360-degree feedback assessment. Then, review with each of your team members. Do this to learn about how they feel about working for you. This is NOT to find out who said what about you. This very important feedback can advance your career if you’re willing to listen and learn. Remember, your team members may feel hesitant to tell you what they really think. Give them permission to tell the truth and DON’T HOLD IT AGAINST THEM!

  • First, ask, “What’s the #1 thing I do that upsets you?” Listen to understand, not defend or out-talk them.
  • If you’ve offended them in the past, apologize.
  • Then ask, “How do you believe I should handle this type of situation differently in the future?” Listen to understand, not defend or out-talk them!
  • Thank them.
  • Now, talk it out with your coach about what to do next

Learn How to Delegate. Too often we give our favorite team members the best assignments. These may not be the ones with the best skills to get the job done. A good boss delegates to people’s strengths and gives them opportunities to expand their skills. Your focus as the boss is to manage the process and coach your people to grow and succeed while meeting customer deadlines and budgets. Note: If you’re a micromanager, stop it! Learn how to trust your team members to get the job done and focus on managing the results.

Developing your people is one of the key job responsibilities for any good boss, manager, and/or leader.

Develop Your People. This is one of the key job responsibilities for any good boss, manager, and/or leader. What are you doing today that is helping your team members excel? What do they need from you to help them achieve their personal and professional goals? What can you do to provide them the necessary resources to excel? Ask them … never assume you know the answer.

Stop Hiding Out. When things get tough, and they can at inconvenient times, be ready to get involved. This normally requires resolving conflict, project snafus, and/or customer upsets. Plan on rolling-up your sleeves and become your team members’ assistant. Focus on uncovering the issue and providing needed resources to resolve it, not assessing blame.

Set Expectations. One of my expectations as a boss was for employees to get along. And, they did. Whenever one person would come to me with an issue, I’d ask if they had talked it out with the person. Then, added, “If you need me to get involved, let me know. But I know the two of you can resolve this.” Normally they resolved it better than if I had gotten involved. One of the keys for this to work is being clear about your expectations. Keep them real and not pie-in-the-sky. Also, remember, if you expect your team members to get along, you need to get along with others too. 

Hire a Coach. If you haven’t done so already, hire the right coach immediately. Successful bosses have coaches. Have the coach include a qualified assessment as part of the process. This high-quality assessment uncovers your blind spots and provides insights to overcome them. Plan on talking with your coach weekly to ensure you’re moving forward. It’s easy to go off into the weeds when you attempt to use an approach you found on social media.

Remember, becoming a good boss is a process, not an event. Make 2021 the year you enjoy the journey.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note About Being a Good Boss from Jeannette. Becoming a good boss isn’t easy. Many companies make the very costly mistake of promoting their best team members into boss roles. Too often these are not the best career paths for these once successful employees. Work with the right coach to help you learn the skills necessary to manage people. If this isn’t the best job for you, move on once you can. But use the time to learn how to work with and through others to achieve win-win-win outcomes. It’s a priceless skill.