Optimize Human Performance

Avoid Scapegoating to Improve Results

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“When you inspire others to achieve intended results, you do not need to create scapegoats.” Jeannette Seibly

Remember a time when you were blamed for a poor result, interaction, or situation? It happens to all of us.

  • How did you feel?
  • How did your attitude and behavior change?
  • What did you do next?

Unfortunately, some bosses and leaders resort to scapegoating. It hurts results and relationships. Team members lose trust in leadership.

Being scapegoated humiliates and diminishes a person’s feeling of value to the team and company. (Note: Humiliating anyone is rarely forgotten nor forgiven!) The team or team members withdraw, stop being innovative, and avoid accountability! They adopt a mindset of “going along to get along” until they find a better boss and employer.

When a leader or boss feels the need to blame others and designate scapegoats, it creates a toxic workplace culture of mistrust and distrust – sabotaging results now and in the future.

What is Scapegoating? In a business context, a scapegoat is an individual or group unfairly blamed for problems, failures, or negative outcomes within a company.

Scapegoating is one of the most destructive actions bosses and leaders can take. It can be individually targeted or systemic, where entire departments or roles are unfairly targeted.

When leaders fall into the malicious trap of scapegoating, it’s to avoid feeling like a failure. They attempt to deflect accountability from themselves and deflect focus from the true issue(s). This is especially prevalent during crises, the loss of major clients, or team failures to achieve intended results.

And, beyond team morale, scapegoating can lead to costly turnover, reputational damage, and even legal exposure.

By understanding when and how scapegoating occurs, leaders can foster a more transparent, accountable, and supportive work environment.

How to Stop Scapegoating

  • Hold Yourself Accountable: As a boss/leader, you need to hold yourself accountable for your team’s results. Conduct a deep dive into “What Worked?” and “What Didn’t Work?” to create an objective overview. Ask open-ended questions of the team, co-workers, and executive management to explore what changes could have been made or what issues were ignored.
  • Be an Effective Communicator: When you own your mistakes, it sets the tone for the team and company. Honest communication and straight talk encourage innovation, agility, and profitability, where everyone is engaged and not fearful of becoming a scapegoat.
  • Focus on Resolving Conflict: Resolving conflicts requires your involvement to ensure people are asking open-ended questions and actively listening. When scapegoating occurs, it’s time to stop so you don’t overlook the core cause of the issue or conflict. Ensure team training is provided (e.g., project management, critical thinking, emotional intelligence, etc.) for ALL team members (including you).
  • Build Ongoing Trust: Mistrust and distrust are rampant in a toxic environment where everyone blames everyone else. To build trust, talk straight. Acknowledge every team member’s contribution to the results. Leaders need to make this a daily practice to build and maintain trust with their teams.

What will you do today to foster accountability and eliminate scapegoating in your workplace?

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, has guided thousands of executives and business leaders to achieve remarkable success over the past 32 years. Her specialty is delivering innovative solutions for hiring, coaching, and leadership challenges—with excellence and accountability at the core.

🧭 How to Reduce the High Cost of a Poorly Designed Job Fit Selection System

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“Poor fit isn’t just inconvenient—it’s disruptive to morale, momentum, and mission.” Jeannette Seibly

Hiring isn’t just about filling a role—it’s about shaping the future of your organization. When leaders rely on outdated or misaligned selection systems, they invite costly consequences that echo across departments, customer relationships, and organizational culture. A poor fit isn’t just inconvenient—it’s disruptive to morale, momentum, and mission.

When organizations rely on flawed selection processes, the ripple effects extend far beyond hiring missteps:

  • 🚫 Overlooked Talent: Qualified candidates are often missed due to vague criteria or unconscious bias.
  • 📉 Lost Loyalty: Customers leave when service suffers from underqualified or mismatched employees.
  • 💸 Financial & Legal Risk: Frequent hiring and firing cycles damage reputation, increase turnover costs, and heighten liability concerns.
  • 🧠 Bias-Driven Choices: Selection decisions reflect unresolved beliefs and emotional residue, not data-driven clarity.

💡 How to Improve Hiring Precision and Integrity

To build a hiring process that honors both excellence and equity:

  • 🎯 Clarify the Role: Develop clear job specifications and descriptions to define success on the job—not just tasks, but traits and mindset.
  • 🛠️ Use Validated Tools: Employ legally compliant, scientifically sound assessments and structured interviews for hiring, promotions, and transitions.
  • 🔍 Treat Intuition as a Signal, Not the Verdict: Gut instincts offer clues, but they can’t answer who, what, where, when, or why. Let data and dialogue do the heavy lifting.
  • 📅 Prioritize Onboarding: Even returning employees (Boomerangs) need a fresh launch. A 180-Day Plan ensures integration, accountability, and cultural alignment. (See Hire Amazing Employees, Chapter 6 for practical tools.)

🧩 In Summary

A well-designed job fit system is a leadership imperative. When we align roles, tools, and onboarding strategies with clear standards and inclusive practices, we create space for true potential to emerge. The payoff? Stronger teams, greater customer trust, and a workplace built on confidence—not guesswork.

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, specializes in delivering innovative solutions for hiring, coaching, and leadership challenges. Over the past 32 years, she has empowered business owners, bosses, and leaders to achieve remarkable success. With a steadfast commitment to excellence, Jeannette champions those eager to elevate, expand, and excel in their results.

Are You Stuck? It’s Time to Move Forward!

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“Everyone gets stuck! Moving forward requires taking actions that make it happen.” Jeannette Seibly

Do you remember watching Wile E. Coyote in those classic cartoons? No matter how many times he slammed into a wall, he’d shake it off, only to hit the same wall again. Over and over. No new results.

Lately, I’ve been speaking with business professionals, bosses, and leaders who feel stuck, waiting, and hoping for change. When asked what actions they’re taking to move forward, every single one said, “I’m waiting to see.”

Many of us do this, wait and see. Feeling stuck can be excruciating—whether you need money, a promotion, or a resolution to a family drama. But waiting isn’t the answer. Staying stagnant drains your inner power and confidence. It limits your choices. It keeps you playing small, hoping for the best.

Getting unstuck requires action, step by step.

Get Unstuck Today!

Recognize the “Grass is Greener” Syndrome

Comparing your job, life, or circumstances to others can spark jealousy or frustration. You start believing that life would be better if only you had what they have. But the truth is—the grass isn’t greener elsewhere. It’s just different.

The solution? Get into action. Meditate to maintain momentum, work with an experienced coach, and commit to the steps that move you forward.

Change Your Perspective—Shift Your Mindset

A CPA named Darla was once a great employee. Then, she became negative and disengaged. After reviewing her job fit results (she was a great fit), I asked, “What’s the problem?”

Her answer? “I want to travel.”

I replied, “Then aren’t you in a perfect job that allows you to do that? Your workload is heavy in the first quarter, but after that, you can schedule travel!”

She paused, then agreed. A simple mindset shift changed everything.

Know What True Job Fit Means

Over 80% of people are in jobs that don’t fit them (Gallup). Too many believe they can succeed in any job, but that’s just not reality.

We get stuck thinking we should be our own boss or that we could get rich using someone else’s game plan or blueprint. But here’s the thing—many employed people do make great money when they manage their career choices wisely and invest their money well.

Want clarity? Use a qualified job fit assessment and work with an experienced coach. Then, take action before fear, doubt, and anxiety creep in.

Expand Your Responsibilities—Not Your Busywork

This isn’t about piling on mindless tasks. Busywork creates boredom, frustration, and emptiness—the very essence of feeling stuck.

Instead, focus on work that naturally aligns with your thinking, core behaviors, and occupational interests. Expanding responsibilities the right way keeps you engaged.

Want a change? Develop your brag statements, then pitch the job shifts that will serve you and your company.

Work Smarter—Not Harder

It’s time to ditch the trial-and-error do-it-yourself approach. I know—you think you’ve got it handled. But if you stay stuck too long, or keep experimenting without direction, you’ll drain yourself emotionally and financially. The essence of staying stuck.

Work with a coach who specializes in moving people forward. Stop relying on friends who just tell you what you want to hear.

Take David—a former executive fired after 15 years. He spent five years chasing opportunities, trying new roles, even buying a franchise. Exhausted and financially strained, he finally reached out to his coach (me). That conversation changed everything.

Now? He’s thriving in a six-figure job he loves.

Break Through the Ceiling—Before You Jump

Feeling maxed out can push people toward drastic decisions—selling their business, quitting their job, moving, or retiring. But making choices while emotionally drained can limit opportunities.

Before you leap, take time to talk it out with a coach. Do the brag work. Use an objective job fit assessment to clarify where you excel in today’s business world.

One young woman was pressured by her father to work for him, despite her own career aspirations. She hired me, followed the steps outlined in this article, and made her move. Years later? She’s still making six figures and loving her life.

You Can Do It Too

It all starts with the courage to say: “Yes! My goals and my life matter.”

Now, take actions that make it happen.

©Jeannette Seibly 2021-2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, specializes in delivering innovative solutions for hiring, coaching, and leadership challenges. Over the past 32 years, she has empowered business owners, executives, and managers to achieve remarkable success. With a steadfast commitment to excellence, Jeannette champions those eager to elevate, expand, and excel in their results.

Job Fit: How To Strategically Hire for Tomorrow’s Results

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“Successful hiring requires aligning skills, values, and potential to ensure resilience and results.” Jeannette Seibly

In a previous article, I focused on what job fit is and what it is not.

To continue, it’s critical to remember, hiring today isn’t just about filling empty seats—it’s about building resilient, adaptable teams that align with your company’s vision and values — and producing intended results. In other words, it’s about selecting employees who will fit the job requirements.

Yet here lies the challenge: too many leaders fail to refine their hiring strategies. Instead, they rely on gut instincts, skip deliberate planning, and ignore the importance of clarifying roles or expectations.

Some might even view a low turnover rate as evidence of a flawless strategic hiring process. But dig deeper, and you will find disengaged employees—doing just enough to avoid attention while costing the business in lost clients, missed opportunities, and sagging morale.

To ensure your team thrives today and tomorrow, it’s essential to rethink how you hire, coach, and manage. Job fit success hinges on prioritizing agility, shared values, and innovation, while using appropriate tools that align seamlessly with your goals.

Do you want to make job fit happen?

1. Hire for Agility and Mental Flexibility

Adaptability is non-negotiable in today’s fast-paced world. Resilient teams navigate change, tackle complexity, and creatively solve problems. Seek candidates who excel in uncertain situations and can pivot when circumstances demand it.

Job fit assessments are invaluable for uncovering potential beyond the resume and interview. These tools evaluate how candidates think, process information, and approach challenges—providing clear insights into how they will drive innovation and thrive in dynamic environments.

2. Prioritize Purpose, Passion, and Shared Values

The strongest teams connect deeply to your company’s mission and values. Candidates that fit the job have purpose and passion and will contribute more than just skills; they bring energy, commitment, and alignment with your culture. However, uncovering these traits requires going beyond superficial interviews.

Use layered questioning techniques, like the Rule of 3, to explore motivations and ensure alignment. Additionally, integrity and honesty assessments add confidence that you’re hiring individuals who genuinely fit your workplace values.

3. Leverage Technology and Predictive Insights

With advancements in AI and analytics, hiring decisions can extend beyond resumes. Modern tools analyze behavioral patterns, validate job fit, and predict compatibility—helping you make smarter, future-focused decisions.

Still, balance is key. Use technology strategically, allowing it to handle tasks like pre-screening or scheduling, but maintain genuine human connection throughout your recruitment process.

Note: Throughout the pre-employment phase, ensure that all assessments and other tools used comply with Department of Labor standards to safeguard fairness and accuracy, as well as other legal requirements (e.g., EEO, ADA).

4. Expand and Diversify Talent Pipelines

To build tomorrow’s results-focused team, broaden your horizons. Go beyond traditional recruitment channels—explore overlooked talent pools, mentorship programs, and upskilling initiatives. Diversity and critical thinking will fuel innovation and strengthen problem-solving within your teams.

Remember, recruitment is just the beginning to discover whether or not the person will fit the job. To keep good employees, robust onboarding processes, clear career paths, and continuous coaching will ensure new hires who fit their jobs stay engaged and committed to your company’s long-term vision.

5. Redefine Success with Growth-Focused Paths

Candidates today seek more than just a paycheck—they’re looking for development opportunities and a meaningful future where they can make a difference. Attract top talent by emphasizing pathways for continuous learning, leadership advancement, and impactful growth.

Expand your definition of success to include sustainability, innovation, and community contributions. Equip employees with the tools to take ownership of their development, fostering engagement and inspiring long-term loyalty.

Hiring for job fit isn’t just about recruitment. It requires refining and leveraging your selection and onboarding systems, prioritizing job fit. This is how you’ll build teams that embody your company’s vision, agility, and shared values.

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Working with small and family businesses, her expertise helps leaders and bosses refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.

Key Factors to Hire for Job Fit and Avoid Costly Loss of People

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“Job fit is crucial when hiring and promoting people to achieve intended business results.” Jeannette Seibly

Did you know: “Employee engagement in the U.S. fell to its lowest level in a decade in 2024, with only 31% of employees engaged?” (Gallup)

I would assert that many employers are unclear about what job fit is and what it is not. Employees who excel in jobs that fit their thinking style, core behaviors, and occupational interests stay longer and are more engaged.

If you are frustrated and annoyed with hiring great people into the wrong job, this article is for you.

Today, many qualified people are looking for work because they are retiring, being fired, being laid off, or looking for something better. Although there are a lot of great job candidates available – buyer beware – it doesn’t mean they will fit well into the job responsibilities of your company. Outdated hiring practices that rely on intuitive hiring, biases, and inappropriate pre-employment assessments will cause you to lose key customers and top talent while hurting profitability.

“Too often, we hire based on subjective reasons but fire for poor job fit.” Jeannette Seibly

What Are a Few Signs of Poor Job Fit?

• Work assignments are late, with a lot of excuses
• Promises are made without achieving the intended results
• Frequent mistakes occur, and the employee misreads what needs to be done
• Conflicts with team members, customers, and bosses
• Failure to listen, incorporate others’ ideas, and develop win-win-win outcomes
• Lack of business growth (sales) or overrun of expenses
• Constant change in direction – they are easily distracted by “shiny objects” or “crystal ball” syndromes

Why Does Poor Job Fit Happen?

• No real objective data collected (e.g., resumes are more than 80 percent inaccurate).
• Rely on intuitive hiring practices that reflect biases (e.g., the job interviews account for 90 percent of the hiring decision).
• Unwilling to improve the selection process, citing costs for improvement and ignoring costs for hiring mistakes.
• Failure to conduct thorough due diligence (e.g., relying on false data, such as name of employer, education).
• Use inappropriate assessments to determine job fit (e.g., overlook validity, reliability, predictive validity, and distortion factors)
• Believe any known limitations can be overcome with training and development. (Forgetting that no one works that hard to be someone they are not. This is a trap that almost every hiring boss/leader falls into!)

What Is Job Fit?

Job fit refers to the alignment between an individual’s skills, experience, values, and personality with the requirements, culture, and expectations of a specific job and organization. It encompasses several key aspects:

1. Skills and Experience Fit: How well an individual’s abilities and past work experience match the tasks and responsibilities of the role. While these required skills and experience may sound good on paper, the job candidate may not be able to use the skills effectively. It’s why valid job-fit assessments are required. When using highly validated and reliable assessments, you gain insight into the real person and their core behavior, occupational interests, and thinking styles.

2. Cultural Fit: The degree to which an individual’s values, behaviors, and working style align with the company’s culture and work environment. A startup or new business venture is very different from working in a well-established company. In a company that requires thinking outside the box, some job candidates may believe they can … but are unable to design and develop sustainable systems or results.

3. Motivation and Interest: The extent to which an individual’s career goals and personal interests are aligned with the job’s duties and opportunities for growth. With changes in people’s work ethic, their career or life aspirations may misalign with the company’s needs and goals. It’s critical to have very clear expectations: PTO, work-life balance, accountability for following up and following through, etc.

4. Team Fit: How well an individual works with existing team members and contributes to team dynamics and cohesion. Are they someone who can work well with others, be coachable, and keep their ego out of the way?

When job fit is strong, employees are satisfied, business excels, and customers keep coming back.

Strategies to Improve Job Fit

• Create a sustainable strategic job fit selection process.
• Get real about what you need and the type of person who can fulfill the desired results.
• Work with a talent advisor/hiring consultant to train managers on interviewing, due diligence, and using the proper job fit assessment. (Each should account for 1/3 of the selection decision.)
• Remember, many savvy job candidates will tell you what you want to hear, and hiring bosses have a low probability of discerning the truth. It’s why objective data is required.

To recap: Using a qualified job fit assessment that meets the validity and reliability requirements outlined by the Department of Labor, conducting proper due diligence, and structuring interview processes to affirm your intuition/gut will provide clarity and are crucial to improving employee engagement, customer retention, and improving the bottom line.

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Working with small and family businesses, her expertise guides leaders and bosses to refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.

Grab her book, “Hire Amazing Employees” — it provides overlooked issues when designing and using a strategic job fit selection system.

Results Aren’t Hard to Achieve When You Set Them as Big Goals

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“We need to change our mindset about how we go about achieving our goals!” Jeannette Seibly

Achieving results can be straightforward when you set them as achievable goals! Often, the problem is we play it safe and stick to results we know we can win instead of expanding our mindset and skill set. Setting small comfortable goals (aka tasks) often leads to distractions, boredom, and blaming external factors.

Getting outside your comfort zone with bigger goals can make a positive and impactful difference. (Remember, a goal is not a task … it’s intended to make you stretch yourself.)

Tips to Achieve Intended Results

1. Complete the “Get Your Brag On!” and learn how to sell yourself and win in five easy steps. These exercises create the positive mindset to expand or create your “winning game.”

2. Ask yourself, what do you really, really, really want to achieve? Write it down, cross it out, and ask again without any “yeah, buts!” This helps uncover your true (underneath the surface) goals.

3. Repeat the question above. Doing so helps bypass initial beliefs about what you should want to achieve, and goes beneath the surface.

4. Write down your goal and fine-tune it into 10 words or less. This make take some time. Don’t skip this step! Clear, concise goals are more engaging and meaningful. And, more likely to be achieved.

5. Review for intention. Clarity of your intention is crucial to influencing others while selling and achieving your results.

6. Declare a deadline for the goal. While achieving the goal is important, the transformation of your attitude and behavior requires commitment and focused action. Without a deadline, you will let yourself off the hook with too many excuses.

7. Work backward from the deadline to create milestones. Weekly or monthly indicators work best to ensure you’re on the right path.

8. Fill in the details. Include team members, communication, budget, ROI’s, operation, and technology aspects.

9. Hire an executive coach to hold you accountable and responsible for achieving your results. The right coach will guide you, simplify the process, and keep you focused. They will also hold you to a higher standard that you’ve always wanted to achieve but didn’t know how.

Remember, without structure and accountability, you’re more likely to dilute your goal, get distracted, or set it aside when obstacles arise … and they will.

Results can be easy to achieve when you set them as BIG, achievable goals!

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Her expertise helps leaders and bosses refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.

Communication Styles that Hurt Leadership Effectiveness

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“Good communication skills are required by everyone for a company, team, and project to achieve intended results.” Jeannette Seibly

Between 40% and 60% of conversational utterances are ego-related, focusing on our own feelings, opinions, and personal experiences. This self-centered conversational tendency is even more pronounced on social media, where some 80% of communication focuses on the self. (Wall Street Journal, January 2025)

The Problem: Poor communication is a widespread issue in workplaces today, worsening among leaders and bosses causes preventable conflicts.

Why This Matters: Leaders must listen, engage, and encourage employees. Otherwise, it will impede projects, budgets, timelines, quality, delivery, and other results.

Communication Styles That Cause Conflicts

• Self-Interest Approach: Asking questions just to turn the conversation to oneself (aka BoomerAsking). (Wall Street Journal, January 2025).

• Top-Down Approach: Dictating tasks without explaining “why” undervalues team members, stifles brainstorming, and leads to passive resistance.

• Passive Approach: Avoiding conflict and not asserting opinions leads to unresolved issues and perceived weak leadership.

• Aggressive Approach: Harsh, confrontational communication erodes trust and makes team members fear sharing ideas.

• Manipulative Approach: Deceit and fact-spinning create a toxic culture of mistrust.

• Inconsistent Approach: Frequently changing messages (aka relying on your feelings and indecisiveness) cause confusion and make leadership seem unreliable.

• Lack of Openness Approach: Unwillingness to listen to feedback and new ideas alienates team members and stifles innovation.

• Overly Technical Approach: Using complex language alienates non-experts and hinders understanding.

No one wants to believe that they are using these approaches. But take a moment and really look to see when, where, and why you engage in these bad habits.

How to Transform These Bad Habits

1. Hire an Executive Coach. Even if you need to pay for it yourself, it’s worth every dollar. Poor communication is why many bosses and leaders find themselves unemployed or sidelined. It’s avoidable with an executive coach.

2. Use a Qualified Job Fit Assessment. Understand “why” your thinking style, core behavioral traits, and occupational interests can get in the way of communicating effectively with others. This objective tool is priceless and helps you keep your job! And, when used as designed, can help you get promoted!

3. Develop Strong Meeting Leadership: Leading meetings effectively is crucial — on-site, remote, and hybrid. Work with your coach, take workshops, and watch videos to learn the nuances between mediocre and great meetings. Your communication style will determine the success of your teams’ results.

4. Become an Active Listener and Listen to and Give Constructive Feedback: Attend and participate in workshops, leadership coaching sessions, and other feedback programs. Don’t be afraid to provide quality feedback that makes a positive difference. It all requires good communication skills and an awareness of how you are perceived.

5. Develop Emotional Intelligence. Being mindful is key. Learn when and how to use humor, approach sensitive topics with empathy, and be willing to learn along with your team.

6. Pay Attention to Generational Differences. Older generations may use meetings to tout “this is the way it’s always been done,” making it difficult for newer employees to provide new ideas and solutions. Younger employees may rely too much on social media as “the way to get things done” and fail to understand “fake news” and “sensational podcasts designed to attract ‘Likes.’” It’s up to you to manage these interactions with communication finesse!

7. Train on Etiquette and Expectations: It starts with you! Become familiar with virtual conferencing systems and how to effectively communicate using them! Then, train your team members and others on how to get the most out of these meetings.

8. Be Coachable and Have a Willingness to Admit Mistakes: When you feel insecure about a situation or working relationship, you will tend to dominate the conversation instead of asking for help. Share your experience with brevity and admit when you don’t know something. (It’s a foundational skill required of great leaders.) Hold yourself accountable for implementing the feedback asap.

Good communication skills used during 1:1’s, team meetings, and other conversational moments can be beneficial to everyone … especially you! Remember, a good communication style will avoid conflict and will enhance your team’s cohesion and productivity while achieving great results!

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Her expertise helps leaders and bosses refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.

How to Address Issues and Keep Positive Working Relationships

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“Do you want to be right or effective? It’s a choice we need to make during every conversation.” Jeannette Seibly

There will be times when people do what they do and believe they are behaving appropriately. This includes saying something they believe is true (without supporting facts) or making a project more challenging (due to multitasking and not listening). As a team leader, what do you do?

A team leader has a remote team, and virtual meetings are essential. The problem? Many team members come unprepared, eat during the call, handle personal tasks, or have their cameras off. Instead of addressing the issue one-on-one, the team leader calls them out during the meeting and demands they behave in a way he believes is appropriate. The new problem? Once a person has been humiliated, they will not forget nor forgive!

Steps to Build and Keep Positive Working Relationships

1. Prepare

• Know Your Facts: Gather all relevant information and data to support your perspective.
• Understand the Other Side: Take the time to understand the other person’s viewpoint and the reasons behind it.

2. Use Mindful Communication Skills

• Active Listening: Listen carefully to other people’s arguments without interrupting. Always let them present first and share your own opinions last.
• Empathy: Show empathy by acknowledging the other person’s feelings and perspectives. Be sure to use the words or phrases they used, or you could create further upset (e.g., if they use the word “I’m feeling upset.” Do NOT say, “I understand that you are angry.”)
• Clarity: Clearly articulate your point of view using facts and logic.

3. Adjust Your Approach

• Choose the Right Time and Place: Disagree in a private setting and choose a time when both parties are calm and receptive. If it is a group issue, address the group without naming names.
• Stay Calm and Respectful: Maintain a calm and respectful tone throughout the conversation. If you feel emotional, wait to address the situation. Your tone of voice, when triggered, will get in the way of future interactions.
• Focus on the Issue, Not the Person: Critique the idea, not the individual presenting it. This is key—too often, bosses like to focus on a personality trait, which may be incorrect and leave the person feeling misunderstood and defensive.

4. Be Collaborative

• Find Common Ground: Identify areas where you both agree and build on them.
• Propose Solutions: Offer constructive solutions or compromises that address both parties’ concerns. Remember, win-win-win is the key!
• Stay Open-Minded: Be willing to consider alternative perspectives and solutions. You don’t know everything, so it’s important to allow other ideas to develop before final decisions are made.

5. Follow-Up

• Clarify Outcomes: Ensure that both parties have a clear understanding of the agreed-upon outcome. Write it down – memories are short!
• Express Gratitude: Genuinely thank the other person for their time and for engaging in the discussion.
• Maintain Professionalism: Continue to interact professionally and positively in future interactions. Be responsible for your tone of voice and say, “please” and “thank you.” Also, under all circumstances, avoid gossip!

Issues can lead to disagreements — they are a natural part of any working relationship. Handling them with empathy, respect, and a focus on collaboration can strengthen professional relationships and lead to better outcomes for everyone involved.

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Her expertise helps leaders and bosses refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.

Asking for Help Is Required to Achieve Intended Results

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“Asking for help is brilliant!” Simon Sinek

“Recognizing the value of asking for help in hiring, coaching, and managing challenges shows strength and will contribute to your company’s growth.” -Jeannette Seibly

Too often, people believe asking for help makes them look weak. It creates barriers to achieving intended results and hurts our boss/leadership skills.

When stuck in a working relationship, situation, or strategic issue, we freeze, flee, or change the goal (which diminishes the intended result)—all because we failed to ask for help!

Yet, asking for help is one of the cornerstones of achieving your intended results. With only 10 percent of teams achieving their required results, it’s crucial that you, as the boss/leader, confidently ask for help, use the art of listening, and make the necessary changes!

Why do we hesitate to ask for help?

Lack of …

• Willingness. Ego can be a significant barrier. Leaders should remember that seeking advice is a sign of strength, not weakness.

• Trust. Trust yourself and selectively seek insights from a few reliable people rather than broadcasting your query widely (e.g., social media or more than 2 or 3 people).

• Self-Awareness. Lack of self-awareness can lead to an inability to recognize when help is needed.

Seven Tips to Get the Help Needed to Achieve Results

1. Set Aside Your Ego. Take a moment to breathe and seek advice from the right sources. This is critical. Talk directly with the person(s) who can provide the help! For example, a training expert was asked, “I was told I needed to do XYZ when making a presentation. But at a recent workshop, everyone walked out. What happened, and what do I need to do differently?”

2. Don’t Wait Too Long. Anticipate the need for help early to prevent compounding issues. It’s harder to ask for help once you’ve sabotaged yourself (usually unintentionally), experienced a project failure, or damaged a relationship with a co-worker or customer. Ask for help earlier not later.

3. Listen. The art of listening goes beyond the words and includes asking open-ended questions to uncover deeper insights.

4. Don’t Wait for Clarity. (It seems counter-intuitive.) Seek objective feedback, especially when things seem murky and unclear. And remember, you asked for help. This is not the time to become defensive … you asked for help … this is the time to listen. Share in concise statements: The goal of the project or issue; What has been done to date; and What is slated for the future Then, ask for help: “What do you see is missing?”

5. Be Coachable. Stay open to learning and avoid letting ego and pride interfere with accepting help. Remember, your defensiveness will sabotage your success.

An author told me in a group meeting that bragging was nonsense to her, but then complained of poor book sales. She explained, “I don’t see the value and I’m too busy to learn how to brag.” Yet, marketing and self-promotion determine 90 percent of someone’s success as an author. Even after others chimed in, she refused their help! When you refuse to listen, people will stop helping you and your results will suffer!

6. Make Asking for Help a Habit. Seeking assistance regularly can foster your professional growth and build your leadership credibility. Also, it helps you produce results faster and easier each time while building your influence.

7. Make Your Requests for Help Clear and Concise. Clearly articulate what you need and be open to accepting a “yes” or “no” response. If a person is not available or is unwilling, ask someone else.

Important Question! How do you plan to incorporate these tips into your leadership approach?

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021-2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Her expertise helps leaders and bosses refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.

Want to Improve Results? Stop Creating Scapegoats

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“When you inspire others to achieve intended results, you do not need to create scapegoats.” Jeannette Seibly

Think briefly about a time you were blamed for a poor result, interaction, or situation.

• How did that feel?
• How did your attitude and behavior change?
• What did you do next?

For many, it may feel familiar to have bosses or leaders who normally create scapegoats! Being scapegoated humiliates and diminishes their value to the team and company. (Note: Humiliating anyone is rarely forgotten nor forgiven!) The team or team members withdraw, stop being innovative, and avoid accountability! They adopt a mindset of “going along to get along” until they find a better boss and employer.

When a leader or boss feels the need to blame others and designate scapegoats, it creates a toxic workplace culture of mistrust and distrust – sabotaging results now and in the future.

What is Scapegoating? In a business context, a scapegoat is an individual or group unfairly blamed for problems, failures, or negative outcomes within a company.

Scapegoating is one of the most destructive actions bosses and leaders can take. When leaders fall into the malicious trap of scapegoating, it’s to avoid feeling like a failure. They attempt to deflect accountability from themselves and deflect focus from the true causes of issues, placing blame on someone who may not be responsible. This is especially prevalent during crises, the loss of major clients, or team failures to achieve intended results.

Cecilia’s Story: Cecilia, a team leader, had a very toxic habit. She refused to take responsibility for her team’s poor results. She’d blame certain team members for the results but was careful not to blame those team members lacking strong self-esteem. If someone questioned her decisions or comments, she would find fault with their comments and then, use them as a scapegoat in future conversations.

By understanding and addressing scapegoating, leaders can foster a more transparent, accountable, and supportive work environment.

How to Stop Scapegoating

Hold Yourself Accountable: As a boss/leader, you need to hold yourself accountable for your and your team’s results. Conduct a deep dive into “What Worked?” and “What Didn’t Work?” to create an objective overview. Ask open-ended questions of the team, co-workers, and executive management to explore what changes could have been made or what issues were ignored.

Be an Effective Communicator: When you own your mistakes, it sets the tone for the team and company. Honest communication and straight talk encourage innovation, agility, and profitability where everyone is engaged and not fearful of becoming a scapegoat.

Focus on Resolving Conflict: Resolving conflicts requires your involvement to ensure people are asking open-ended questions and actively listening. When scapegoating occurs, it’s time to stop so you don’t overlook the core cause of the issue or conflict. Don’t forget to provide team training (e.g., project management, critical thinking, emotional intelligence, etc.) for ALL team members.

Build Ongoing Trust: Mistrust and distrust are rampant in a toxic environment where everyone blames everyone else. To build trust, talk straight. Acknowledge every team member’s contribution to the results. Leaders need to make this a daily practice to build and maintain trust with their teams.

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Her expertise helps leaders and bosses refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices to achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while guiding those ready to elevate their game to new heights.