The #1 Reason Teams Don’t Zap Conflict

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“If you want great team results, value different points-of-view while managing the process and moving the conversation forward.” Jeannette Seibly

The #1 reason team members are unwilling to zap team conflict is the fear of consequences (80%*).

The result surprised me because not much has changed over the years.

Years ago, I facilitated a team and there was a guy named Rob who didn’t like listening to people with different ideas. And, gave me a hard time for giving everyone a chance to speak. In fact, he would make snide comments like, “That’ll never work” or “You’re wrong” creating no-win disagreements with others. One time he wrote about me, “Must be her time of the month!” I felt humiliated.

But, as the facilitator, I didn’t allow it to deter the purpose of the team. Ironically, Rob was being fast-tracked by executive management. So, when Rob’s comments continued, I mentioned it to my VP. He responded, “You’re overreacting.” But, for whatever reason, Rob stopped attending the meetings to the relief of everyone on the team. The conflict he created was gone. They were now able to do a great job of achieving the intended results without Rob as a roadblock.

There are a lot of programs available on conducting effective meetings and managing conflicts. Every team leader and member must access this information to improve their confidence and their team’s results.

Remember, “If you’re waiting for someone else to take the initiative, so are they!” Jeannette Seibly

Keep in mind, team conflict is not a bad thing. But how you manage team discussions makes all the difference. If you don’t learn how to resolve team disputes constructively, your team will fail. Unresolved team quarrels are why only 10% of teams achieve their intended results! (Pritchard)

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash
“If you’re waiting for someone else to take the initiative, so are they!” Jeannette Seibly

11 Tips to Guide You to Resolve Team Conflicts and Build Better Result

  1. Be Intentional. Most team members attend meetings with the intention of “just getting through it” and use the time to think about other things. Attend each meeting with the intention of listening, learning, and ensuring the process is moving forward, great results will follow.
  2. Park Your Ego at the Door. Roll up your sleeves and go into the meeting to move the project or program forward. When issues arise, and they will, listen to the other person’s argument instead of thinking of a rebuttal. You may find you agree! This is required to build better ideas.
  3. Set Up the Team to Win. At the very beginning of a project or program, be clear about the goal, timeline, budget, and get buy-in from all team members. Define who the project or program is for (e.g., company-wide, department, customer, association, etc.). Address any naysayers now. If you wait, it’ll only get worse.
  4. Ensure Everyone Has Chance to Speak. Whether you are the team leader or not, encourage candor. Ask clarifying questions when needed and value each person’s responses. Call on each team member to ensure no one is missed. Allow them to say, “pass” if they have nothing to add. To manage time, remind team members they have 3 minutes each.
  5. Encourage Brainstorming. This is Critical. Brainstorming issues allows each person to share their insights and experiences without comments from others. Don’t make any decisions without hearing from everyone.
  6. Build on Other’s Ideas. To align on ideas, again, give each team member a chance to speak. When it’s your turn, focus on an idea already offered and add any new info. Don’t ever bash others’ ideas.
  7. Don’t Take Sides. When asked your opinion, share the positive attributes of both sides. If you have an idea that is win-win-win, offer it. Then, allow others to take credit for it.
  8. Bring in an Outside Influencer. Instead of feeling disheartened your team is in turmoil, ask for help. An outside influencer will review the facts, provide insights, and guide critical thinking. Remember your intention is to resolve the issue, not assess blame.
  9. Agree or Agree to Disagree. A quick way to resolve a disagreement: repeat back what the person said to his/her satisfaction before offering your own opinion. Have them do the same in return. (Often, you’ll discover that what you thought was a disagreement no longer exists.) This ensures the other person feels heard. Remember, only one person speaks at a time. This deters the triggers that can set people off on new tangents while confusing the core issue.
  10. Seek Out Mentoring and Coaching. Talk with your mentor or coach on how to best handle the conflict. Remember, the focus is not on who is right or wrong, it’s getting the issue(s) resolved. Don’t forget, bosses want results-producers that are committed to fulfilling the intended results.
  11. Learn and Master the Art of Working with Difficult Team Members. These skills will support you in all group and team efforts. You must practice them to master them!

 *The stat came from people responding to an online survey or participating in a focus group I conducted.

 ©Jeannette Seibly 2021

 Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

 A Note about Resolving Team Conflicts from Jeannette. Team conflicts can be disheartening to even the strongest of team leaders and facilitators. But team conflicts can be used to produce intended results when managed constructively. There are many training and coaching programs available to develop the skills required for conducting effective meetings. Need help? I’ve been running meetings that have produced unprecedented results for over 30 years…contact me and we’ll brainstorm answers for you. Contact me!

It’s a New Normal. Are You Ready to Get Employees Skill-Ready?

“You will lose key employees and customers if your people are not talent-ready.” Jeannette Seibly

In October 2020, the World Economic Forum released its report of the top 15 skills for 2025. While 2025 may seem a long way off, it’s not.

As you read the list note software development, cybersecurity and technology are not at the top of the list. Instead, it’s about creativity, problem solving, analytical thinking, and innovation.

It is critical companies develop these necessary skills today. Waiting until 2025 won’t work since your company will be left behind its competition. Start training at the top and cascade down now. This reinforces the skills training since your executives and managers will set a positive example.

3 Key Issues Often Overlooked

  • Discrimination practices will get in the way when designing individual training goals. Insert into your leaders’ job descriptions, “training and coaching the next leaders include each and every person!”
  • Failure to budget and use that money for training tells customers your business is not ready to be their vendor or contractor.
  • Hiring, coaching, and managing are much easier and less expensive if you hire and promote based on job fit. This requires using objective data on a consistent basis. Not everyone has an interest in learning and using the new skills appropriately.

Here is the “List of the Top 15 Skills” (click here for the full report):

(Note: most of these are considered “soft skills,” which are often ignored.)

  • Analytical thinking and innovation
  • Active learning and learning strategies
  • Complex problem-solving
  • Critical thinking and analysis
  • Creativity, originality, and initiative
  • Leadership and social influence
  • Technology use, monitoring, and control
  • Technology design and programming
  • Resilience, stress tolerance, and flexibility
  • Reasoning, problem solving, and ideation
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Troubleshooting and user experience
  • Service orientation
  • Systems analysis and evaluation
  • Persuasion and negotiation
Are you ready? Happy employees are well trained in all aspects of their work.

5 Key Factors to Prepare Your Company for Success

  • Create a strategic plan for ongoing training and skill development. Make sure your budget includes consistent communication reminders on how to use these new skills!
  • Develop skill levels (basic, medium, and advanced) required for different job responsibilities. For example, non-tech salespeople need systems awareness but don’t need advanced systems analysis and evaluation.
  • Select trainers who are shining examples of using these skills (internal and external). They must be able to engage participants and answer questions. Otherwise, your leaders and employees will lose interest.
  • Provide easy-to-access workshops, videos, coaching, and 1:1 training to reinforce skills. Ensure manager/executives receive the training first. This will set an example for all team members.
  • Encourage team members to work in cross-functional groups and rotate who leads the team. This will expand everyone’s knowledge on how to apply these new skills in different situations.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note about Getting Your Employees Talent-Ready from Jeannette. 2021 is not business as usual and employees are frustrated with the lack of new opportunities for skill development. (Yes, even your newly hired team members.) Now is the time to develop everyone, from the top-down, to expand their skills and knowledge. It gets team members excited to come to work each day!  Need help? Yes, we all need help from time-to-time. Contact me!

How to Prevent Overconfidence from Hurting Team Results

“Remember, 90% of the world’s information is in people’s heads, not the internet!” Jeannette Seibly

Overconfidence is a tendency to hold a false and misleading assessment of our skills, intellect, or talent. (Corporate Finance Institute)

Now, more than ever, confidence is important. It encourages your team, customers, and communities to follow your lead. But problems arise when you are overconfident. This occurs when you fail to understand that business is not the same as usual and fail to adjust for the “new normal.”

A leader worked in an IT company that had great financial success during 2020. But when he oversold a new project, the team balked when he shared the requirements! His overconfidence failed to consider the team was unwilling to come into the office and go into the customer’s office to work on it. The added challenge was, he lacked the skills to manage the new project virtually. He listened to his mentor and reached out to his coach. He got the help he needed. He learned a lot and learned how to brag about his skills in a business-savvy manner rather than be overconfident.

Remember, we’re in a new normal…what you did before may not work today. So, stop, listen, and welcome new ideas. Then, transform how you manage your team, projects, and results asap.

6 Tips to Develop Healthy Confidence

Be aware of your communication style is important. Learn to be aware of words or actions that signal you’re being overconfident (e.g., “I’ve got this handled!” “I never fail!” “This always works.”). Work with your coach to see what you may be stepping over or failing to address when this happens.

Be honest about your skills. Take the time to conduct an accurate assessment of yourself and learn about your blind spots. Work with your coach and use objective data from scientifically validated job-fit assessments. These tools guide you to go beyond how you want to be seen. Instead, they help you discover what it’s like to work with you from the team’s perspective!

Stop comparing yourself with others. Too often, we blame others for mistakes they make, but excuse our own! Develop your emotional intelligence (EI). Learn how to use compassion and empathy to work through mistakes and learn from them. This strengthens your ability to achieve intended results.

Test your assumptions before declaring your decisions. When we make decisions based on fragments of information, we’re often wrong. Develop your critical thinking by deep diving into the factual pros and cons. Use your network to test your assumptions. Remember, 90% of the world’s information is in people’s heads, not the internet!

Listen to others’ feedback and concerns. Leaders welcome brainstorming and hearing others’ ideas. Learn how to manage healthy disagreements and ensure all team members can express their concerns and ideas. Remember, a healthy skepticism will save your career and the financial impact of a bad decision. Most importantly, learn to listen to what you don’t want to hear to improve your results.

Recognize when it’s the right time. While many ideas may work with modifications, it may not be the right time or place to put them into action.  Avoid using circular logic to push through ideas your business and customers are not ready to handle.

“Overconfidence can derail results when your ego gets in the way.” Jeannette Seibly

How to Work with Overconfident Leaders

Stay aware and mindful in conversations. Listen up when your leader is sharing a decision s/he is making or about to make. It will impact you, your project, team, and budget, either directly or indirectly. Ask open-ended questions for clarification rather than debating the leader’s decision.

Stand up and speak up. When leaders are overconfident, we tend to question our own point of view. (Harvard Business Review) Stop! Be assertive and have a conversation armed with the facts. Remember, diplomacy is critical. While you may be right, overconfident leaders will ignore you when their ego feels threatened. The outcome of these types of conversations can impact your future projects and results as well.

If the leader’s idea or assertion does not impact you, avoid confrontation. Choose which issues to pursue. If you confront every issue, the leader and team will stop listening to you. Instead, address major issues that will impact you from a win-win-win perspective.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019-2021

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note About Being an Overconfident Leader from Jeannette. It’s not business as usual. During this new normal, take the time to develop your emotional intelligence (EI). Skills include listening, critical thinking, and managing virtually. Developing these skills now will impact the quality of your results, today and tomorrow.

2021 Is Here … It’s Time to Get Unstuck for Success

“2021 will only be as good as your willingness to do the work.” Jeannette Seibly, The Leadership Results Coach

Many of you have thought about your goals and resolutions. Some of you have written them down. Far fewer of you have taken focused action steps to make them happen.

One of my long-term goals has been to write a novel. I even have over 100,000 words written. Over the past decade, I’ve updated. Made changes. Added and deleted characters. Et cetera. Et cetera.

Yet the novel remains safely hidden on my hard drive waiting to be published and see the light of day!

My current excuse is “Writing a novel is different than writing a business book. It requires different writing skills.” While this is true, it is still an excuse. There are classes and writing activities designed to help authors get their ideas published.

So, I’m stepping out! I am declaring, “This year is the year!” (GULP!)

What will I do now that I’ve been unwilling to do in the past? I’ve made it one of my top 3 must-get-done priorities in 2021. My support includes being part of a weekly author coaching group and attending monthly author events. My focused actions are scheduling time to write and then, writing. (Whether I want to or not!) These actions will provide me the inspiration I need to write and the coaching I need to stay unstuck. Plus, my other coaches will keep me in focused action! (NO EXCUSES IN 2021!)

Questions for You to Get Unstuck

Where are you stuck? It’s a great place to start instead of “why am I stuck?” Is it making a declaration? Is it making the time? Is it finding the money? Be clear and be real. If you’re stuck, write down on one page what, when, where, why, and how you feel stuck. Don’t beat yourself up. This is simply an inquiry. Now reduce it to ONLY ten words. When I did this exercise, it was eye-opening.

What do you really really really want to have? Here’s a simple yet challenging exercise my friend, Judith Briles, The Book Shepherd, has her authors do every year. Take four pieces of post-it size paper. On each piece of paper write down your goal in one or two words (e.g., publish book, lose weight, exercise, get a new job, retire, buy a home, etc.). Now you have four pieces of paper, each stating a goal. Here’s the challenging part. Remove the piece of paper you are least likely to do, want, or have. This will tell you the other three are more important. Now, remove the second piece of paper. Now, remove the third piece of paper. Drum roll …. The last piece of paper is your #1 goal for 2021. Now, it’s time to get busy!

“Doing what you’ve done before will have you stay stuck while hoping for different results.” – Jeannette Seibly, The Leadership Results Coach

What is the end result? People do things when they feel motivated to do them. What is motivating you to fulfill your #1 goal? Why is it important? Doing what you’ve done before will have you stay stuck while hoping for different results. Hope is not a viable strategy. It absorbs energy and makes you feel bad about yourself and your capabilities. When this happens, get your brag on! Yes, becoming present to your past successes works! (Especially when selling yourself in a job interview or asking your boss for a raise)!

What new possibilities are there? Look at your #1 goal from a 180-degree perspective. Here’s what I mean. Start with the goal and list key milestones backwards that must be met back to today. Doing this helps you see new possibilities to achieve your goal. So while many of us focus on only our limitations, our creativity and innovation are stifled. Remember, the longer you stay stuck and indecisive the more the next step seems elusive.

Are you waiting until the right time? If you’re waiting for the right time, stop waiting. Remember inspiration comes and goes like rain. It’s never predictable. The added challenge is, when it is raining, are you willing to do the work right then and there? Or, do your excuses get louder? (It’s important, to tell the truth!)

Here’s the million-dollar tip! Hire the right coach to help you stay focused on your #1 goal! Then, be coachable. Both of these are commitments are required to get and stay unstuck. And, you know staying focused can be difficult when life circumstances get in the way. But here’s what I want you to consider: One year from now will be 2022. Do you still want to be sharing your excuses…or sharing your successes? Another way to look at it is, if you have 6 months to live, would failure to achieve your #1 goal be your greatest regret?

Here’s to an amazing 2021! Who’s willing to get unstuck and join me?

©Jeannette Seibly 2021

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note About Honoring Your Goals from Jeannette. Goal creation and resolution-making are common activities for individuals and businesses each year. Yet the problem remains that these goals are rarely fulfilled. Don’t start 2021 as another year with great goals, ideas, and promises with no structure for fulfilling them. Make 2021 the year you actually make them happen!

How to Optimize Trust When Saying “No”

“Saying no is less hurtful than saying yes and not delivering on your promise.” Jeannette Seibly

Many of you have learned the hard way that saying “yes” doesn’t always work. When you overcommit, it can come back to hurt your career, business growth, and customer relationships. There can be consequences and the most important is you break “trust.”

There are times it’s better to say, “no.” Yet, saying “no” can feel uncomfortable, especially for people-pleasers and those wanting to be well-liked.

If you say “yes” and are unable or unwilling to honor your commitment, trust is broken. It can become a career derailer when your team, boss, board, and/or customers stop trusting you.

As always, be selective and wisely choose when to say “yes” and when to say “no.”

How to Say “No” and Build Trust

When You Are Asked for Help. As a leader or entrepreneur, it’s your job to guide your team members. If you say “yes” and don’t follow-through, you lose trust. If you say “no,” you can instead recommend who or how they can get their questions answered by someone who is better qualified.

Don’t Offer Excuses. When you say “no,” it does not require an explanation. Offering excuses for the “no” is where many leaders (and others) get themselves in trouble. Instead, plan to negotiate requests that are important to create a win-win-win outcome.

For example, Sabrina was asked to work on a company-wide project for her boss. Because she didn’t have time she said “no.” Instead, she negotiated with her boss to do her part of the project remotely and attend monthly updates instead of weekly update meetings.

There are times it’s better to say, “no.”

When Invited to an Event or Provide a Financial Contribution. Be clear about your values (e.g., family, career, education, religion, etc.). It makes it easier to say “yes” or “no” to these types of requests. When you need to say “no,” here are some effective ways:

  • “No, thank you. I’d love to, but I’m unable to do so right now.”
  • “Thank you for asking and “no” I’m not able to do so.”
  • “Thank you for asking, but that doesn’t work for me right now.”

When You Don’t Have the Time or Interest. When you say “no,” include “That’s a great idea! But I don’t have the time or energy to add one more thing to my schedule. Good luck!”

When You Do Say “Yes.” Honor your “yes” by completing your commitment as promised and make sure to over-deliver. When you can say “yes” and you can say “no’s” to future requests, you will build trust with others.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note About “Saying No” from Jeannette. Saying “yes” can be too easy for many people. Yet, there are consequences when you don’t fulfill the promise you made with your “yes.” Learn how to say “no” diplomatically. That actually will help your career or business. Hire a coach to talk you through the pros and cons of “yes” and “no.”

How to Say Thank You to Others Right Now!

Receiving acknowledgement is something we all say, “I hate!” Many have the same sentiment when others say, “thank you” or “I appreciate your efforts.”

As a result, we end up being stingy, Grinch-like, when it comes to letting others know we appreciate them.

Yet the truth is, we secretly crave acknowledgement and thanks! (Stop denying it!)

Today it’s important that leaders, bosses, and team members say, “thank you.” This simple expression lasts longer than bonuses or other perks.

7 Often Overlooked Ways to Say, “Thank YOU!”

Listen to Their Ideas. Yes, this is a silent way we say, “I appreciate you.” It only requires we set aside our internal mental chatter and electronic distractions. Just listen!

Ask for Their Ideas. Introverts are not as likely to volunteer ideas and solutions. But it doesn’t mean they don’t have good ones. Be sure to ask each and every team member for their input before making decisions. It says, “I value your contributions.”

“Appreciating others’ efforts provides a greater reward than anything else you can do!” Jeannette Seibly

Coach Them to Solve Problems. Every job has its challenges. When team members share their frustrations, ask, “How would you recommend resolving it?” Then, coach them to implement the recommendation. Be sure to follow-up to hear about the outcome. This follow-through speaks volumes and lets them know matter.

Let Them Make Decisions. Allow each person to schedule time off, sign up for training programs, set up brainstorming sessions, or create team get-togethers without asking you for permission. Trusting others is an important way to “acknowledge others.”

Give Praise More Often Than Not. Too often we’re not mindful of the effort required for a team member to get a project or job done. Take the time to be open and curious. It lets you know about any Herculean efforts. Give praise for their ingenuity, commitment, and perseverance to build their self-confidence.

Encourage Participation. Whether it is for a service project, leading a team meeting, or attending trade/industry association meetings, encouraging participation makes a difference. Provide feedback and be available when they feel stuck.

Say “Please” and “Thank You”. These magical words seem too simple to make a difference. Yet they carry an inherent reward when you let team members know they are valued. Say them frequently.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note About Appreciation and Acknowledgement from Jeannette. Letting others know you appreciate them can be difficult for many leaders. But you cannot hide behind the excuse that you’re too busy or it’s just their job to get it done. This mindset only encourages team members to seek out other leaders to work for. A simple, “Thank you” is all it takes to get started and can become a fun part of your job! Hire a coach if you are unable to appreciate others…get it resolved…it could save your career!

How to Raise Your Visibility and Get Positively Noticed

Business-savvy bragging builds natural confidence and attracts new opportunities.

Everyone would like to believe that working hard and getting assignments done on time will get them positively noticed.

But the truth is, it doesn’t!

Bosses think, “Of course s/he gets things done on time…it’s what I pay her/him to do.”

If you want to be considered a high-performer and/or leader, you need to step up your visibility in a positive way.

6 Keys to Get Positively Noticed!

1. Learn How to Brag! Bragging or self-promotion in a business-savvy manner makes a big difference. Saying you’re great, wonderful, and fabulous only has your boss (and others) stop listening to you! And, seen as a braggart! Instead, get the book, “It’s Time to Brag! Business Edition” and raise your natural confidence and ability to brag to become positively noticed?

2. Talk with Your Boss. Whether you like your boss or not, s/he is the key to getting positive attention. Have a weekly 1:1 meeting, come with a written agenda, ask questions, and listen. When you’re discussing what’s working and what’s not working, make sure you don’t blame or complain. Instead, this is the time to listen, learn, and offer solutions.

 Questions to Create a Dialogue (remember…listen more than talk!)

  • What is your opinion about …?
  • Can you help me understand …?
  • What do you recommend …?

3. Be a Solutions Provider. Come prepared. Read agendas and minutes from previous meetings before scheduled meetings. This allows you to listen and hear new ideas offered by others. This simple preparation will help you develop the ability to create win-win-win outcomes. And, help build a positive reputation.

 Questions to Uncover Issues/Concerns (remember…. listen more than talk!)

  • “What is your #1 concern right now?”
  • “Tell me more about it.”
  • “Why is this important?”
  • “What solutions do you recommend?”
  • “How can I help you achieve this goal?
BizSavvyBrag.com

4. Create Positive Relationships. Integrity, communication, and speaking well of others are important when creating good relationships. This will also enhance a positive visibility. And, while you may not agree with someone or frustrated by their actions, take the higher road. Make sure to get both sides of the story without passing judgment. Plus…don’t burn bridges.

5. Hire a Coach. When you move up the company ladder, old habits can become bad habits. And worse, you may not even be unaware of them! (aka blind spots) Hire the right coach to uncover the bad habits and build the good habits, skills, and mindsets needed for positive visibility.

6. Build a Results-Oriented Team. “Only 10% of teams achieve intended results!” (Prichard) Bragging about your team and your results will have you gain high visibility.

Here are 3 ways to do it:

Remember, hard work alone isn’t enough to get positively noticed and valued. Use these 6 keys to raise your visibility and get positively noticed.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note About Getting Positively Noticed from Jeannette. Again, as mentioned in this article, grab the book, “It’s Time to Brag! Business Edition”, hire a coach, and follow the above-referenced tips. These will get you the positive visibility needed to be promoted, improve job satisfaction, and make more money!

Feedback Is the Gift of Sharing Your Experiences

“Many leaders hesitate and avoid giving needed feedback out of fear of retaliation.” Jeannette Seibly

Why do many of us hate giving or receiving feedback?

Because feedback triggers our brains for flight, fright, or freeze. When our boss (or someone else) provides feedback, our point of view about ourselves typically feels threatened. And, too often, feedback has people avoid one another out of fear that their self-perceptions are wrong. Yes, it’s unwarranted. But it happens way too often.

Why feedback is important:

  • It allows us to grow as successful leaders
  • Our projects to go from so-so to having stellar results
  • We broaden our perspectives about working with different people, including “difficult team members”

As a leader, be open to sharing experiences that only feedback can provide you. This mindset sets the tone for your team members to do the same. Remember, feedback requires tact and diplomacy. Otherwise, you will escalate conflict or create hurt feelings.

“Giving and receiving the gift of feedback creates stronger leaders.” Jeannette Seibly

6 Tips to Develop the Gift of Giving and Receiving Feedback

Be Open to Receiving. People will provide feedback, regardless of whether you ask for it or want it. Strong leaders listen, regardless of their feelings about it. If you don’t, you may miss some important information. Ask questions for clarification without sounding defensive. Then, review the feedback with your coach before making any changes.

Use a Qualified Job Fit Assessment. This type of assessment addresses your thinking style, core behaviors, and occupational interests when you embrace this feedback. You will gain job insights into how to effectively work with others, while appreciating their differences. Objectivity helps you accept the things you cannot change, while improving your effectiveness.

Value 360-degree feedback assessments. Use these quarterly, annually, and/or after major projects. These tools are great gifts for feedback when developing leadership strengths. The problem is many companies create their own 360-degree surveys. Because these tools lack objectivity and confidentiality, they fail to offer valid feedback that makes a positive difference. Make sure to select the right tool that has the validation and reliability for providing laser-like feedback.

Ask for Feedback. After a project or meeting, ask for feedback from several key employees. Start by asking “What worked? and “What didn’t work?” Listen. Take notes. Then, review with your coach before attempting to put any changes in place.

Develop a Straight Talk Approach. When offering feedback, talk straight. If you filter too much, you camouflage the true issue.

For example: A VP-HR provided feedback to the VP-Finance about gossiping. During the next coaching call, his coach could tell the VP-Finance didn’t understand what the VP-HR had said. The VP-HR had sugar-coated it. Straight talk is important when behavioral changes must happen…no matter how hard it might feel.

Learn Different Feedback Methods. The same approach doesn’t work for everyone!

2 different approaches to get you started:

  1. Direct approach works for people who want to know the truth. Be clear about the facts and share them, after getting their permission to do so.

For example: “Josie, are you open to feedback from your presentation this morning?” She nods yes. “Super. There was too much information on your slides and you read it to us. It’s important to engage the audience, not lecture them, when we need to learn about these new safety procedures.”

  1. Sandwich approach is for less tough-minded people. Share 2 positives, 2 specific areas that need improvement, and wrap-up with 2 positives.

For example: “Joe, you’re a valued member of our team and we appreciate your involvement.” (2 positives)

“However, we need you to read the minutes before each meeting and put away your phone during the meeting. It’s very distracting when you’re not fully engaged in the conversation. Remember, multitasking is a myth.” (2 specific areas for improvement)

“Again, we appreciate your commitment to the company and achieving our goals.” (2 positives)

These 6 tips will provide you the opportunity to share your experiences while giving and receiving the gift of feedback.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. She is an expert in guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note About Using Assessments from Jeannette. Scientifically validated and reliable assessments are the key to a great 2021.

They can help you:

  • Meet company and employee needs
  • Improve your hiring, coaching, training, and managing processes
  • Sleep better at night

Contact me now for a confidential conversation.

How to Change BAD Habits that Impact Your Success

“You are in control of your habits.” Jeannette Seibly

As a leader, are you questioning why your teams are not excited to work with or for you? The answer is, you’ve allowed “your bad habits” to get in the way.

Your bad habits will diminish the value of your words, the quality of your results, and the ability to attract and keep top talent.

4 Bad Habits that Must Change NOW

Poor Listening Skills. If you’ve been following my posts, you know that I mention the value of listening often. The reason? Listening is the foundation of any leader’s success. Checking emails during meetings, insisting on being right, and/or multitasking will derail your leadership. It shows that listening to your team is not important.

First, put away electronic distractions. Then, focus on what the person is saying and allow him/her to talk without interruption. When you listen, you make better decisions and hear important information.

Fear-Based Comments. Threatening others when the job is not getting done as you envisioned it, is a bad habit for any leader. It never builds loyalty or produces intended results. If someone is not achieving the intended outcome, take time to review your communication style and expectations.

Then, conduct an objective review of what is working and what is not working with the team or team member. Listen to their concerns and address them. Together, create a focused action plan. Now you’re ready to coach them one step forward at a time. Don’t forgot to acknowledge their efforts and brag about their accomplishments!

“Your habits as a leader speak louder than your words.” Jeannette Seibly

Being a Control Fanatic. A leader who must be in control at all costs tears down trust. When you believe you know it all and micromanage your team, mutiny will occur.

Instead, trust the process. Yes, life and projects are processes…not events! There is never a straight line toward achieving your goals. Mistakes happen. Your ability to handle these issues impact the quality of results and outcomes.

Being a Proud DIYer!  Many leaders, even today, are not coachable. They want to do everything themselves. But consider the do-it-yourself approach will get in the way of team success every time. When proud DIYers fail to hire a coach and listen to ideas that are not their own, they will often fail!

Instead, hire an executive coach. Brainstorm ideas, ask the hard questions, and listen to what you don’t want to hear. (Yes, please read that again.) Remember to listen, learn, and be coachable. These 3 skills will help you develop the confidence required to lead your team.

Once you do the work to change these 4 bad habits, you’ll see the dynamic results you’ve always wanted.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. Her expertise is guiding leaders and their teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note About Change from Jeannette

Change is happening whether you’re ready or not. Change can be daunting when you’re not prepared. It leads to frustration and turnover. Now is the time to get ahead of this curve for 2021 when hiring, coaching, managing, and training your employees, managers, and leaders. Contact me for a confidential conversation. We can talk about ideas to get you moving ahead with ease and confidence.

How to Stop Being a Difficult Team Leader

“Instead of blaming your team for all of the problems, take a look in the mirror!” Jeannette Seibly

Most teams experience difficult team dynamics.

But what do you do when the problem is you and your poor leadership style?

Most team leaders are not well trained. They wing it and hope for the best. They attempt to follow the latest fad or gimmick with little success. Or, they lead one great meeting and believe they have it all handled.

When things go wrong (and they will), try on the idea the problem is not your team members, it’s your leadership style.

7 Tips to Transform Your Leadership Style

  1. Be Present. This is the #1 reason your team will respect you, or not. Put away your electronic gadgets and other distractions. Pay attention. It’s critical that you stay active in all conversations. Be fearless in addressing any conflict as it arises without bias.
  2. Have Integrity. Do what you say you will do by when you say you’ll get it done. (Sounds simple but is not easy.) Be accountable when making promises and take notes so you don’t forget.
  3. Talk Straight. Be clear about what you are saying and why you are saying it. Don’t tell people what they want to hear to be well-liked. It’ll backfire. Learn how to have come-down-to-reality conversations when your team is going off track.

    “Teamwork works when they have the right team leader.” Jeannette Seibly
  4. Allow Idea Generation. Brainstorming and listening are critical to uncovering solutions. You do-not-need-to-have-all-the-answers! (Reread that sentence!) Your team has hands-on experience and will share ideas if everyone is willing to listen and be open to new ideas!
  5. Be Focused on Their It’s not about you! It’s about the project, customer, and each and every team member. You’re the conductor to ensure all areas are moving forward together. Focus on finding resources and managing processes to achieve intended results.
  6. Use Mindful Resilience Skills. Every leader has emotional triggers. Yet, successful, effective leaders take responsibility and manage their upsets and frustrations effectively, without blaming others.
  7. Hire the Right Coach. This is critical for any leader that has gone off-track. Continued derailment is not an option. Get the right help you need NOW to get-on-track before your situation gets worse. The right coach will guide you and your team to address issues and create solutions.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. Her expertise is guiding 100’s of leaders and teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Note from Jeannette Seibly: I love coaching leaders and their teams to create win-win-win strategies and achieve dynamic results. I’ve been doing this for more than 28 years. During these challenging times, it’s not unusual to get stuck. To get unstuck, let’s talk and bounce ideas around to have you move forward. Please contact me for a confidential conversation. In your email, provide your name, phone number, the general issue, along with several times to talk. JLSeibly@SeibCo.com