leadership coach

What Do We Do When Our Insecurities Get in the Way of Our Leadership?

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“Allowing our flaws to be seen is a step towards self-confidence.” Jeannette Seibly

Ah, insecurities—they have a sneaky way of showing up, don’t they? But fear not!

All leaders and bosses have insecurities. Some are more obvious than others (e.g., fear of conflict, unwillingness to stretch outside your comfort zone). As a boss/leader, you cannot let insecurities get in the way of your success, the team’s success, and your clients’ successes.

How to Navigate Our Insecurities and Lead with Confidence

Acknowledge Your Insecurities

• Be honest with yourself.
• Recognize and name your insecurities (e.g., fear, sadness, anxiety).
• Accept them as a part of you without letting them define you.
• Practice kindness towards yourself.
• Share appropriately with your team (e.g., “Oops! I had a human moment.”).
• Offer an apology when misspeaking or failing to honor your word.

Seek Feedback

• Reach out to one or two trusted colleagues or mentors for honest feedback.
• Ask for and be open to constructive criticism to identify future growth areas.
• Take actions consistent with developing the skills.

Continuous Learning

• Engage in leadership training or workshops, especially if you fear doing so.
• Listen to videos to expand your knowledge.
• Engage in conversations where you are not confident.

Shift Mindset

• Embrace challenges as opportunities to grow.
• Use positive affirmations to reinforce your strengths and capabilities.

Build a Support System

• Seek mentors who inspire and guide you.
• Surround yourself with supportive and understanding peers.
• Hire an experienced executive coach to confidentially talk through your concerns.

Set Clear Goals

• Create and celebrate small wins to boost confidence.
• Develop a clear vision and align your actions toward it.
• Learn how to self-promote to win a job or other opportunities.
• Stop chasing bright shiny objects or relying on the crystal ball syndrome that sabotages your goal.

Practice Self-Reflection

• Reflect on your experiences, challenges, and growth through private journaling.
• Incorporate mindfulness practices to stay grounded. Also, take programs designed to deepen these experiences.
• Develop positive self-talk.

Lead by Example

• Show vulnerability to create a safe space for others experiencing similar insecurities.
• Be true to yourself and your leadership style.
• Develop clarity of your true strengths and weaknesses by taking a job fit assessment.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

• Professional guidance can offer positive insights without relying on trial and error.

Remember, everyone, even the most renowned leaders, has faced insecurities. It’s not about being flawless but about continuously growing and evolving. You’ve got this!

©Jeannette Seibly 2025 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly, an award-winning Talent Advisor, Leadership Results Coach, and Business Author, boasts over 32 years of hands-on experience. Working with small and family businesses, her expertise helps leaders and bosses refine their hiring, coaching, and management practices and achieve their intended results. Along the journey, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and numerous six-figure earners, all while championing those ready to elevate their game to new heights.

Are You Experiencing a Crisis in Confidence? Want to Come Back Stronger?

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“Losing confidence in yourself means it’s time to review, re-engage, and come back stronger than before.” Jeannette Seibly

All bosses/leaders have experienced or will experience a crisis in confidence, self-doubt, or fear when working towards achieving a goal – the more significant and innovative the intended result – the more likely this will occur.

How can you tell if you’re experiencing a crisis in confidence?

You are:

  • Unable to make decisions
  • Making poor decisions by ignoring the facts
  • Concerned or fearful of what others will think, say, or do
  • Unable to sleep or fail to take good care of yourself
  • Not feeling comfortable with the changes being made
  • Unwilling to admit a mistake and take responsibility
  • Changing the goal (or intended result) to reflect current progress

When you face a challenging moment or experience doubt or uncertainty, it’s time to regain and revitalize your confidence. Remember, every boss/leader experiences these moments; it does not define your abilities or worth.

How to Regain Your Confidence

Acknowledge Your Feelings: Feeling uncertain or questioning yourself is okay. Recognize and accept these feelings instead of ignoring them. Contact your executive coach, industry mentor, or confidantes if it persists.

Reflect on Your Achievements: Take some time to review what you’ve accomplished in the past by completing the five easy exercises in “It’s Time to Brag!” A positive reflection on past successes reminds you of your capabilities.

Learn and Adapt: Learning from mistakes or setbacks is crucial. Complete “What Worked? / What Didn’t Work?” Then, with insight and renewed confidence, acknowledge the overlooked tasks and milestones or errors made when completing them.

Seek Advice and Support: Asking for help and talking with your executive coach, mentor, or one or two business professionals is wise. An outside perspective is often constructive and offers encouragement when you listen with an open mind and positive expectations and ask open-ended questions. Remember, the conversation will go faster, and your confidence will return quicker if you remain emotionally unattached to your point of view on how it “should” work.

Set Small, Achievable Tasks to Regain Momentum:

  • Adapt your strategies and approach based on what you’ve learned from the exercises and conversations listed above.
  • Create a “It’s Done List” (aka To-Do list).
  • Break the tasks into smaller, quickly accomplishable steps (e.g., getting a bank loan requires a P&L that is clean and up-to-date).
  • Schedule the completion of all of these items and take at least one focused action step now.

The natural confidence this process creates is priceless. But stay and keep in action – you’re not done until the intended result is accomplished.

Practice Self-Care: Ensure you care for your physical and mental health. Exercise, proper nutrition, and relaxation can all contribute to a more positive mindset while rebuilding confidence. Include journaling your brags and what you’re grateful for as part of a healthful ritual.

Stay Persistent: Confidence grows by experiencing and overcoming setbacks, frustrations, and failures. Keep moving forward, even if progress feels slow. Remember, the tortoise, not the racing rabbit, won the race!

When you embrace these steps and take the actions to overcome a crisis in confidence, you will return stronger than before. Don’t forget to acknowledge yourself for this achievement — and update your brags.

©Jeannette Seibly 2024 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor/Leadership Results Coach with over 31 years of practical experience guiding leaders and bosses to improve their hiring, coaching, and managing practices and produce amazing results! And yes, achieving business success always starts with having the right people in the right jobs! She has been an Authorized PXT Select® Partner for over 32 years. Contact Jeannette to learn more about these state-of-the-art job-fit assessment tools or how to coach and manage your people to achieve incredible results.

A note from Jeannette:  Are you experiencing a crisis in confidence? Do you want to come back stronger? This week’s article is a must-read for bosses and leaders wishing to work through these inevitable crises and come out stronger than ever before. Need an objective perspective? Contact me.

Now is the time to get into focused action! Are there days you dread doing what is needed to manage your people, projects, and team’s financial performance? You’re not alone! Everyone has those days! But continuing to hide behind excuses only hurts you and your future promotability. I have extensive experience and wisdom guiding bosses and leaders to hire, coach, and manage their teams successfully – this includes getting you out of the way and working with and through people effectively to achieve the results required. Contact me to learn more about my in-depth, one-on-one, customized coaching programs.

It’s Essential to Learn How to Coach Your Employees and Teams

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“Learning and using effective coaching skills improves team results.” Jeannette Seibly

Today, more than ever, coaching is an essential skill for bosses and leaders.

Why? The effectiveness of coaching is reflected in employee and customer retention, employee job satisfaction, and team results.

The challenge? Many bosses/leaders don’t understand what coaching is or how to do it. Or, they’ve tried it, and it didn’t work, leaving employees and teams deflated.

The good news is that bosses and leaders can become good coaches. But like any new skill, it takes consistent practice to improve and become effective.

How to Improve Your Ability to Coach Effectively

First, Let’s Define Coaching. Coaching is not telling employees what to do. That is what supervisors or managers do. Coaching involves guiding, empowering, and helping each employee and team grow by listening, making suggestions for improvements, and allowing the employee and team to stretch – which sometimes means they’ll make mistakes and experience failures.

Let’s Get Started

Create a Learning Environment. When learning, employees increase their natural curiosity and innovative spirits. Ensure you invest in each employee and team and work with them to use the new skills effectively.

Be Specific in Your Praise. Celebrate individual achievements, successes, and wins with specific acknowledgment. Learning how to brag appropriately is also important to build confidence.

Build a Win-Win-Win Decision-Making Model. Involve your team in decision-making processes to build trust and ownership. Remember, this involves true brainstorming, resolving team conflict, and encouraging respectful conversations — each person speaks up and feels comfortable doing so.

Learn from Failure. Everyone has an opportunity to learn from their mistakes and failures – in fact, it’s the best way to learn. This is not the time for “I told you so’s” or other disparaging comments. Instead, use the “What Worked/What Didn’t Work?” and review with the employee or team. Focus on lessons learned and what’s next.

Leverage Strengths. Identify and capitalize on each team member’s strengths using an objective job fit assessment. These objective insights help you, your employees, and your team members grow and develop. With the information provided, you will be able to provide laser-like coaching rather than the hated trial-and-error process which leaves employees disempowered.

Practice Emotional Awareness. Understand and manage your own emotions and those of your team. Use compassion, respect, and a sandwich approach when offering feedback to your team members without being critical or condescending.

Listen. Listen actively and ask open-ended questions. Sometimes, all you need to do is listen and facilitate the conversation. By being a sounding board, it allows the team member to work out the solution and have the confidence to implement it. Don’t forget to ask “By When” it will be done and mark it on your calendar. (An important coaching strategy.)

It’s critical to remember that developing practical coaching skills is an ongoing process and not a one-time event. Don’t forget to hire your own executive coach to guide you through those sticky situations and political working relationships. This helps you coach others!

©Jeannette Seibly 2024 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is a Talent Advisor/Leadership Results Coach with over 31 years of practical experience guiding leaders and bosses to improve their hiring, coaching, and managing practices and produce amazing results! And yes, achieving business success always starts with having the right people in the right jobs! She has been an Authorized PXT Select® Partner for over 32 years. Contact Jeannette to learn more about these state-of-the-art job-fit assessment tools or how to coach and manage your people to achieve incredible results.

A note from Jeannette: Today’s bosses and leaders must become effective coaches. Coaching is not the same as managing and telling people what to do. Do you need help developing an effective coaching style as a boss/leader without defaulting to the hated trial-and-error approach? Contact me!

Now is the time to get into focused action! Are there days you dread doing what is needed to manage your people, projects, and team’s financial performance? You’re not alone! Everyone has those days! But continuing to hide behind excuses only hurts you and your future promotability. I have extensive experience and wisdom guiding bosses and leaders to hire, coach, and manage their teams successfully – this includes getting you out of the way and working with and through people effectively to achieve the results required. Contact me to learn more about my in-depth, one-on-one, customized coaching programs.

Are you using your talents and abilities effectively? Many of us are not! Click Here for a Free Download on how to use your talents and enjoy a rewarding career!

How to Remove Elephants by Resolving Difficult Issues or Situations

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“When you ignore the elephant in the room, you sabotage your team and their ability to produce great results.” Jeannette Seibly

When elephants are in the room, it means an obvious issue or situation is being avoided or ignored. While you may rely on the excuse, “if you ignore them, they’ll go away,” these elephants have a sneaky way of sticking around and sabotaging results — regardless of your feelings about their importance.

Team members quietly quit when unspoken issues or difficult situations are not vocalized and resolved. Usually, their reluctance to speak up is due to fears of personal or professional reprisals if they rock the boat. Or, the fear is due to not having the confidence, communication skills, or self-esteem to stay in the conversation when others don’t agree with them.

As the leader, it’s up to you to make the conversations safe and respectful and be committed to opening up the conversation to expose difficult issues or situations.  

Ironically, talking about these elephants clears the air, energizes the team, and produces unprecedented results. However, achieving these results requires straight talk and a willingness to stay focused on removing the elephant when it doesn’t want to readily lumber away!

How to Resolve Five Common Types of Elephants

When resistance is due to:

Overwhelm. Keep the conversation simple when the issue seems impossible or too big to handle. Use open-ended questions: “What is your experience with the new A/P system?” Allow others the opportunity to voice concerns without fear. Once everyone has had a chance to talk, brainstorm possible solutions. Now, create a focused action plan and speak directly with the person(s) that have the power to resolve it. Remember to stay focused on the solution, not personalities.

Egos. These can be the most difficult elephants to mitigate since egos involve executives’ sense of self-esteem and self-importance. Offer ideas in small pieces and let them choose which one to use since s/he ignores brainstorming. Then, give them credit when the idea succeeds, and offer one or two suggestions if it fails. Remember, the goal is to remove the negative impact on you and your team. As you gain the executives’ trust, you can have more effect.

Entrenchment. We’ve all heard the expression, “It’s the way we’ve always done it.” When team members offer ideas to resolve concerns, it’s essential to listen and learn and not take them personally. Set aside your ego as the leader, use critical thinking so that change isn’t for the sake of change, and manage the process to include everyone.

Bad Acts. If there is a claim of harassment or microaggression, or allegation of theft, it’s imperative to act responsibly now. Have a private conversation with your boss and human resources to determine how to proceed. This may mean letting a well-liked team member or coworker go. Remember, this elephant is negatively impacting others. And these observers are watching how you’ll handle the situation and are adjusting their work performance accordingly. Note: If you ignore this one, you’ll lose credibility, your team, clients, and your business.

Failure to Commit and Act. There are times when elephants have been addressed, but there is no change. Or the leader has agreed but fails to remove the elephant due to political reasons or is second-guessing their agreement. (Examples include continuing old hiring practices and resisting a needed strategic hiring system or asking a major financial contributor to stop smoking in a no-smoking office.) Get this resolved asap. Ask for help by talking with your executive coach for objective counsel. Stop hoping the elephant will eventually go away. Hope is not a strategy; elephants tend to stay too long when you avoid following through for win-win-win outcomes.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2011-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about removing elephants and creating win-win-win outcomes: Is an elephant residing on your team? With your client? Or, in your company? The longer you wait to resolve difficult issues or situations, the more entrenched these elephants become. In the meantime, you lose essential ideas and solutions along with team members and clients. Have questions about how to identify “elephants” and resolve them? Most do! Let’s chat now!

When employees “quietly quit,” it is often due to you quickly hiring on instinct and then slowly firing for poor job skills. It’s time to develop a strategic selection system to improve how and whom you hire! Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

Hiring Practices Are Why Employees Are Leaving!

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“Instinctual or intuitive hiring is a major factor in the mass exodus of employees leaving to find better bosses and work they enjoy!” Jeannette Seibly

People keep quitting at record levels, yet companies are still trying to attract and retain them the same old ways. (McKinsey Quarterly)

It isn’t easy today to compete and keep talent. As a result, many potential job seekers are moving between jobs and industries, retiring early, or becoming entrepreneurs. Some leave without a plan because their co-workers left. And, competitors and other employers are openly poaching your best people.

Why is this happening?

One of the biggest challenges for most hiring bosses is their use of instinctual or intuitive hiring practices. This old practice puts new hires or promoted employees into positions that don’t fit their interests or core behaviors. So, while they may readily accept the job offer, they may not have the true interests or willingness to do the job. Or take the position for more money and the job title to help them get the next one. And, today, more than ever, some employees work a few weeks or months to get the money needed to pay for necessities, then leave. Many times, without even saying “Goodbye.”

What Can You Do?

First, accept that the job climate has changed and is continuing to change. Employees want to enjoy their work, and money won’t buy loyalty.

Second, do a much better job hiring, training, and coaching your employees.

Third, realize that your unconscious biases often get in the way of hiring the right people (e.g., ageism, fear of diversity, and other leadership blind spots).

8 Keys to Hire and Retain Top Talent

  1. Use the strategic selection system outlined in Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results! The system will reduce the “intuitive” selections that often fail. Also, as a boss, ensure the success of new hires, rehires, transitioning contract or gig workers to full- or part-time hires, and job transfers and promotions.
  2. Use a qualified job fit assessment. Job fit is #1. It helps employees, bosses, and employers keep and attract top talent and customers! Stop using assessments that “feel good” but don’t meet the Department of Labor guidelines for pre-employment hiring and selection. (See Chapter 9, “Use the Right Assessments and Skill Tests” in Hire Amazing Employees.)
  3. Develop a strong employee orientation and onboarding program. Employees want to know they matter. In addition, use a 180-Day Success Plan to guide new hires or employees in new positions through the first six months. (See Chapter 6, in Hire Amazing Employees.)
  4. Promote people that can and will manage with care. Many studies have shown that bad bosses are one of the top reasons employees leave. Too often, we promote the top salesperson or best-liked person and forget to conduct “reference checks” of internal employees and their experiences with the people we promote. Not everyone can be a good manager, nor has the skills and interest to develop them. Create separate job paths so all employees can excel.
  5. Provide training opportunities for all employees to support their individual career paths. Include soft skills, financial and technical skills, diversity management, etc. Examples include: Money management for those wanting to buy a home or start a business. Supervisory skills for those with an interest in managing others. Project management for those wishing to become team leaders.
  6. Offer remote and hybrid work opportunities. To help employees balance work and life, provide options that fit their needs. Remember, not everyone will do well working remotely. So, be sure that you (and they) are clear of the requirements to be successful by using the strategic selection system to ensure it. (See examples shared in Chapter 18, Hire Amazing Employees.)
  7. Consider a broader array of benefit options. Providing a smorgasbord of benefit options keeps top talent. Examples: GenZ employees might select education benefits v. increased life insurance options. Parents might opt for housecleaning services v. degreed education benefits. Older employees might enjoy job sharing or part-time work v. full-time employment.
  8. Encourage self-care. More and more employees today no longer value work over health. Provide classes, executive coaching, telemedicine for kids or pets, and perks (gift cards for massages) that are meaningful to the employee.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about why your hiring practices encourage employees to leave: Even though The Great Attrition and Great Resignation occurred in 2021 for millions of employees … many employees are still leaving in 2022! Often, it’s due to employers’ intuitive or instinctual hiring practices! Using a well-designed strategic selection system will improve your retention, revenues, and results! Do you need guidance updating your strategic selection system? Let’s chat now!

JUST RELEASED!

Are you making the most out of your hiring budget? Creating a sustainable system will improve your results and your bottom line. Grab your copy of Hire Amazing Employees (Revised Edition): How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

 

Practices to Prevent Employees from Robbing You!

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“Taking good care of your business includes ensuring employees are not stealing from you!” Jeannette Seibly

Throughout my career, I’ve listened to many stories and guided the clean-up of employee theft. Many times, it could have been prevented by following best practices and immediately addressing theft as it occurs. Unfortunately, while many companies focus on theft by hourly employees, the truth is that white-collar crime is on the rise!

Leaders, did you know?

  • The median amount lost in an employee theft claim is $150,000
  • 5% of an organization’s revenue is lost to fraud every year
  • 23% of employee theft cases cost $1 million or more
  • The average office fraud goes on for 18 months before being detected
  • The most frequent thefts involve billing and check tampering schemes

(Source: AICPA.com)

Employee theft includes:

  • Employer’s property for personal use, without authorization
  • Data, money, physical inventory, proprietary information, publications, workers’ comp, unemployment claims
  • Time theft for hours paid, but not worked
  • Payroll information (e.g., social security and banking information)
  • Service theft (e.g., allowing friends and family employee discounts)

1.Prevention Starts with Hiring and Selection (includes new hires, contract to full- or part-time, and rehires)

Companies today fail to conduct background, education, and other checks. These often occur when the boss knows the person, the person is a family member, or they believe they are too busy to conduct their due diligence. (Note: Always check with your legal counsel, human resource professional, or business manager for when and how this information can be obtained and used.)

Obtain Background Checks. These are public records. But remember, many companies do not prosecute employee theft. Therefore, it’s essential to use a qualified core value assessment too. These tools provide direct admission about what they’ve done, and pre-hires are likelier to tell the computer the truth than a human.

Conduct Appropriate Employment Checks and Verifications. They can wave red flags! These are important since over 85% of resumes contain inaccuracies and lies.

Remember to Hire for Job Fit. Why? Believe it or not, employee theft and misuse of company data can be due to boredom, hating the job responsibilities, or being promoted too soon because there was no job fit.

Source: Hire Amazing Employees (Revised): How to Increase Retention, Revenues, and Results! available in July 2022; SeibCo.com/books/

2.Handle Theft Issues Immediately (this will deter others)

Keep Your Eyes Open for “Dummy” Billings, Contracts, and Surprise Billables

A daughter stole over $1MM from her mother’s company using dummy billings over 2 years. Why did it go on for so long and for so much money? Her mother was in denial even after being told it was happening.  

  • Conduct unannounced internal audits
  • Use an outside financial auditor
  • Review your financials frequently for discrepancies
  • Stay in contact with your customers and listen for: surprise contracts, duplicate billings, unusual costs, or delivery of extra inventory

Don’t Retaliate Against the Thief

While you may wish to bash the person’s reputation or withhold their paycheck, don’t! Otherwise, you may end up in a libel suit. Or have a valid employment claim against you for unpaid wages.

  • Contact the police, and your attorney and insurance company
  • Follow the disciplinary process for letting the person go
  • Change passwords, and alert bank and credit card companies
  • If the employee was terminated, immediately change the locks and other security systems
  • If an unemployment or workers’ comp claim is filed, provide only factual information

Use Best Practices to Take Care of Your Business’s Future

An executive director stole several thousand dollars from a not-for-profit. She set up a personal account and deposited several of the organization’s checks into it. When confronted, she threatened to sue them, using her gender and race as excuses. The board backed off from firing and prosecuting her out of fear of “looking bad.”

How you handle this type of occurrence will determine your organization’s future. When someone steals money or data, it’s important to:

  • Tell customers IF there was a data breach by following best practices for your industry
  • Work with your attorney, human resource professional, and/or business manager to recover the money or value of items taken
  • Determine the return on investment before filing any lawsuit
  • Review practices and policies for weaknesses that allowed the theft or issues to occur
  • Don’t let threats of lawsuits keep you from doing what is right

3.Here Are Some Warning Signs You Should NOT Ignore

When an employee:

  • Complains about work, has poor job performance, or is in frequent disagreements with co-workers
  • Feels mistreated, not heard, or humiliated by their boss
  • Has others input overtime and/or expenses for them
  • Is dealing with debt, drug use, or a gambling problem
  • Is unwilling to train others to do their job
  • Works unusual hours (e.g., comes in too early or stays too late)
  • Accepts goods and monies for personal use from suppliers or others

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about preventing employee theft of time, money, and data: Many times, employee theft could have been prevented by following best practices and immediately addressing theft as it occurs. What do you need to do and become aware of to prevent employee theft? Does your strategic selection system need to be updated to avoid hiring mistakes? Let’s chat now before it’s too late!

Self-confidence allows you to address issues now. Self-confident leaders (current and future) address issues that cannot be ignored (e.g., employee theft, misuse of company data, etc.). Build the self-confidence you need to do the right thing now. Grab your FREE copy of 9 tips needed to develop self-confidence.

How to Use Adversity to Make You and Your Team Stronger

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“Want to take advantage of new opportunities? Then, don’t let adversity stop you.” Jeannette Seibly

Like it or not, every team will hit a “wall” when adversity knocks. But remaining stuck or feeling sorry for yourself is not an option. These misfortunes or difficulties can originate from bosses, co-workers, and customers because no one likes change. Some feel threatened by it and will sabotage or block your efforts. Or, it can be due to a company “elephant in the room” no one wants to deal with.

Hoping that the adversity will disappear is a lose-lose-lose strategy! Instead, use your commitment and the team’s resilience to transform a situation, project, and/or relationship. Doing so will make everyone stronger. Here’s how-to-do-it:

5 Tips to Blast through Adversity

Get Real About What Happened. It’s essential to tell the truth. Putting frosting on mud pie and calling it a cake doesn’t change it from a mud pie! When difficulties occur, there is no shame in it. Everyone has experienced failure and unexpected adversity. Adversity can be due to a lack of critical thinking, ignoring ideas, or company politics. Take responsibility and talk with your executive coach and mentor when adversity occurs. Then, take immediate action to get it resolved.

TIP: Complete this exercise with your team: What Worked? / What Didn’t Work? This exercise will have you and your team focused on the facts of what worked and the lessons learned. It will also infuse objectivity into the conversations you need to have with others. This process is a precursor to moving through adversity powerfully.

Develop Emotional Intelligence (EI). It can be challenging to see a situation from another’s point of view when you are emotionally attached to being right. Ask questions. Listen and learn. Now build a bridge between where you are now and the goal you and your team intend to achieve.

TIP: To develop EI, talk with your executive coach or therapist and do the inner work to acquire the critical skills needed.

Utilize All Team Members Based on Their Strengths. There are times adversity occurs due to mistakes made by team members assigned the wrong jobs. Instead of relying on your favorite team member(s) to tell you what you want to hear, give assignments to the best-qualified person.

TIP: Use a qualified job fit assessment to clarify each team member’s thinking style, core behaviors, and primary interests. This information opens new opportunities to develop each and every team member, utilize their strengths, and reduce mistakes.

Be Responsible for What You Are Saying and Sharing. Today’s focus on transparency can backfire when you share too much and publicly blame others. Your relationships can be damage and other will stop trusting you. Straight talk is key. Include diplomacy and kindness to ensure everyone is willing to listen and get on the same page with you.

TIP: Keep a private journal and write down your thoughts and feelings. Not everything needs to be shared with others!

Practice Thanks! Everyone loves being appreciated. Saying “please,” “thank you,” and “great work” is critical. When done authentically, your teams’ confidence grows, and your customers feel valued. Appreciation is especially essential during and after working through adversity of a difficult situation. Be generous with your appreciation!

TIP: For one week count, how many times you appreciate someone. The following week double it. You’ll be surprised by the elevated confidence of your team. And, this is really easy to do!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about using adversity to make you stronger: Big goals will cause adversity since most people don’t like change! Ask yourself, “Am I willing to do the work required?” Then, have the right conversations with the right people to move the project forward. What adversity are you dealing with? Are you willing to get unstuck? Need someone to listen? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence can be developed even when dealing with adversity. However, it takes a commitment to yourself to address “lessons being learned” and not shy away from them. Grab your copy of the 9 tips needed to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

How to Keep Your Job When Working with an Overconfident Leader

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“Take care — overconfidence can sabotage working relationships irrevocably.” Jeannette Seibly

A new customer gave Allison’s company a similar project to what she had worked on with her former employer. She put together the plan and excitedly shared her knowledge with her boss, Stan. But Stan had his own ideas of what to do and how to proceed. While Stan allowed Allison to offer her plan first, he didn’t listen and scrutinized each point. So, even though Allison was well-prepared, she became inflexible that her plan was the right one. And the initial positive energy in the room deflated like a balloon losing air!

Finally, Stan said, “While this plan may have worked in your former company, we’re not them. So you need to do it my way.”

Not surprisingly, the customer was unhappy with Stan’s way. When Allison attempted to enlist several executives to help turn around the results, they refused. They cited a lack of time. But the truth was, they lacked the confidence to have the needed conversations with Stan and wanted to keep their jobs. He was known to overreact to anyone challenging his ideas on how to get things done. They did, however, recommend to Allison that she leave the company before being fired. (Side Note: The customer terminated the contract and hired Allison’s former employer to get the project done in a way that worked for them!)

This story demonstrates what happens when two overconfident people have to work with one another … disastrous results.

When egos interact with egos, no one is listening. Each person is attempting to outtalk the other and are inflexible to consider alternatives. The project or program is destined to fail, while the customer loses money and time, and at least one person will lose their job or be sidelined until finding another job.

So, how do you keep your job when working with an overconfident leader? First, check your ego at the door. Second … keep reading!

3 Keys to Work with an Overconfident Leader and Keep Your Job

Stay aware and mindful in conversations. Listen up when an overconfident leader shares a decision s/he is making or is about to make. It will impact you, your project, team, and budget, either directly or indirectly. Expand the leader’s opinions by asking open-ended questions for clarification rather than debating their decision. (I’ve coached lots of people who challenged the leader’s opinions. The results? Some were fired, and many were about to be and had no idea their overconfidence got in the way.)

Stand up and speak up. When the leader is overconfident, you will question your own point of view. (Harvard Business Review) Don’t let this deter you from being assertive and sharing facts. But(!) … diplomacy is crucial! (It’s an essential skill to learn!) Remember, while you may be right, overconfident leaders will ignore you when their ego feels threatened. The outcome can impact your future projects, results, budgets, resources … and career.

Avoid confrontation if the leader’s idea or assertion does not impact you. Choose which issues to pursue. If you confront every issue, the overconfident leader will stop listening to you. (And so will everyone else!) Instead, focus on significant issues that will impact you from a win-win-win perspective.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about working with an overconfident leader: First, set aside your ego! Second, be mindful, diplomatic, and ask questions to keep the conversation going. While it is a dance, the steps don’t need to be complicated. So, what challenge is on your plate to address this week? Need someone to listen? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence takes practice before you can master it (like all inner growth). What are the essential steps to achieve it sooner rather than later? It requires focused action! Grab the 9 tips needed to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

We Hate Team Conflict, So Why Do We Allow It to Squash Team Results?

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“If you want great team results, resolve issues as they arise. If you don’t, you risk alienating the team members that can get the job done!” Jeannette Seibly

“If you want to achieve anything in this world, you have to get used to the idea that not everyone will like you.” Simon Sinek

Many leaders focus solely on being liked and refuse to do anything that can disrupt that focus. Unfortunately, when it comes to team conflict, many of them behave like ostriches hoping it will disappear on its own! But! If not addressed, conflict doesn’t disappear and will squash team results!

“If you’re hoping for team conflict to resolve itself, you’re in for a very long wait.” Jeannette Seibly

Even though resolving team conflict isn’t for the faint-hearted, it doesn’t need to be scary or impossible!

Keep in mind that managing team conflict (not trying to control it) requires having tough conversations, talking out different points of view, and encouraging critical thinking. While many leaders are not skilled in managing (or having) these types of conversations, these skills can be learned! It’s how new solutions are created, and teams excel! Plus, leaders become respected, confident, and liked.

How to Resolve Team Conflicts and Build Exceptional Results

  1. Be Intentional. Most team members attend meetings with the intention of “just getting through it.” However, as the leader, it’s up to you to listen, learn, and engage all team members in the process. Remember, you’re setting an example for team members to be heard and valued. Your intentional attitude minimizes conflicts and encourages everyone to get on the same page.
  2. Park Your Ego at the Door. Roll up your sleeves, admit to your mistakes, and don’t steamroll over issues! When inevitable issues arise, listen to team members’ rationale and guide them to build a solution that everyone can align with. Don’t rely on your leadership title as the deciding factor. Instead, the goal is to find common ground and ensure all concerns are addressed positively. This reduces the need for team members to take sides or engage in other disruptive behaviors.
  3. Set Up Your Team to Win. At the very beginning of a project or program, establish a clear goal, timeline, and budget. Define who the project or program is for (e.g., company-wide, department, customer, association, or community). Get buy-in from all team members. Naysayers should be excused from the team now, especially if they are your pal or BFF! Otherwise, you’ll squash opportunities for great team results while promoting team conflict!
  4. Ensure Everyone Has a Chance to Speak … especially if you fear dissension. Call on each and every team member, even if you don’t want to hear from them. Listen. Ask others for their thoughts. Encourage and value candor. Expecting team members to always agree with you only derails results while breeding team conflict and sabotaging progress.
  5. Encourage Brainstorming. This is a critical skill, often overlooked; instead of focusing on “busyness” as an excuse, brainstorm solutions. The process allows each team member to share insights and experiences without fear of others bashing their ideas. It saves time when done correctly, engages team members, and reduces team conflict.
  6. Don’t Take Sides. You’re the leader and need to keep an open mind. Be willing to have tough conversations and make difficult decisions while being diplomatic. While team conflict may erupt if they disagree with your decision, be prepared. Remind them you listened to both sides and give no more than three reasons for your decision.
  7. Ask for Help! Put aside your usual do-it-yourself approach. If you don’t, your team will feel muddled in avoidable turmoil. Hire a coach and talk with an internal company mentor. Take the coaching! When you learn and grow from these experiences, your team members will do the same. This approach resolves ongoing team conflict while getting to the heart of the issue.
  8. Learn and Master the Art of Working with Difficult Team Members. Instead of blaming them for problems, focus on their strengths and encourage their efforts in a positive manner. Your willingness to encourage everyone to excel reduces potential team conflict!

©Jeannette Seibly 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. As an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years, she guides others to make a positive difference. Feel stuck in a political work situation? Want clear advice on how to get out of it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette about resolving team conflict: We often become ostriches when there is team conflict. We put our heads in the sand and hope that the issue will resolve itself. It rarely does! With unresolved conflict, team members stop attending meetings, deadlines are missed, and customers are very unhappy. Team conflict can be prevented if you stand up and resolve it in the moment. Do you need a cheerleader or help getting your complex issues resolved? Let’s do it! Let’s Chat!

Have you mistakenly hired a team that loves conflict? This is a great way to lose customers! Improve your interviewing skills by grabbing your FREE copy of the best 16 Must-Read Tips for Productive Hiring Interviews.

To Achieve Great Results, You Need a Winning Attitude!

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“A healthy relationship with ‘winning’ will guide you to achieve amazing results.” Jeannette Seibly

Winning isn’t everything, but a winning attitude is required to achieve amazing results. The bonus? It also feels great when you win.

But many people today have conflicted feelings and attitudes about winning. They find it more comfortable to conform to peer pressure and not rock the boat, which can get in the way of winning for them and their teams. While it keeps them from overshadowing others, there is a huge personal and professional cost (e.g., overlooked for promotions, not selected for key opportunities, low self-esteem, confidence, etc.).

Why is having a winning attitude vital for you?

  • It builds your confidence and mindful awareness.
  • It increases your ability to take the initiative, be coachable, and be resourceful.
  • It creates healthy self-esteem while improving your results.
  • It makes you promotable while having more fun and making more money.
  • It provides you the courage to ask for help, hire a coach, and influence others.

Remember, especially when you want to throw in the towel and say, “I give up,” it’s not about whether you win or lose. It’s about your attitude towards winning. It’s about enjoying the process of gaining new knowledge, skills, and awareness that comes from a winning attitude. And these experiences are priceless.

4 Tips for You to Create a Healthy Winning Attitude

  1. Take Initiative. Too often, people dream the dream but fail to honor the commitments required. Instead, they blame people and situations to excuse their unwillingness to make a plan and follow it. To achieve any goal, focus on what’s important to you, get in the game, and go for it! That’s what taking the initiative looks like when you’re in action.
  2. Do the Work Instead of Creating Excuses. We all love our excuses. But they get in the way of winning! When the process isn’t working, don’t let it deter you from achieving the goal! Don’t change the goal; instead, change the process. Remember, the process rarely looks like you think it should! It requires stretching your comfort zone into a new one or leaving behind the old one.
  3. When Obstacles Occur, and They Will, Become Resourceful! Everyone hits a wall. Sometimes it’s a massive one. But giving up isn’t an option. Instead, be flexible, resourceful, and resilient. Adopt the winning mantra, “I can do this, and I do it.” Now, take it day by day, step by step, and moment by moment as you move forward. Yes, there will continue to be bumps in the road. But they don’t need to stop you.
  4. Celebrate the Wins with Gratitude, not Ego. When you win, it’s important to celebrate and acknowledge your accomplishments! Add the achievements to your resume and bio. Bragging in a humble manner works! Don’t forget to say, “Thank you!” to those that helped you along the way! (You didn’t achieve it without them!)

©Jeannette Seibly 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. As an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years, she guides others to make a positive difference. Feel stuck in a political work situation? Want clear advice on how to get out of it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette about having a winning attitude and achieving amazing results: We often rely on our excuses for not achieving fantastic results. The truth is, we need to adopt a winning attitude and stop accepting mediocrity. It’s not hard, and there are no shortcuts. The reward is that it feels great when you achieve amazing results! You just need to do the work! What do you want to accomplish in Q2? Let’s do it! Let’s Chat!

Have you hired a team that doesn’t have a winning attitude? Oops! But it could have been avoided by improving your interviewing skills. So grab your FREE copy of the best 16 Must-Read Tips for Productive Hiring Interviews.