Team

How to Remove Elephants by Resolving Difficult Issues or Situations

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“When you ignore the elephant in the room, you sabotage your team and their ability to produce great results.” Jeannette Seibly

When elephants are in the room, it means an obvious issue or situation is being avoided or ignored. While you may rely on the excuse, “if you ignore them, they’ll go away,” these elephants have a sneaky way of sticking around and sabotaging results — regardless of your feelings about their importance.

Team members quietly quit when unspoken issues or difficult situations are not vocalized and resolved. Usually, their reluctance to speak up is due to fears of personal or professional reprisals if they rock the boat. Or, the fear is due to not having the confidence, communication skills, or self-esteem to stay in the conversation when others don’t agree with them.

As the leader, it’s up to you to make the conversations safe and respectful and be committed to opening up the conversation to expose difficult issues or situations.  

Ironically, talking about these elephants clears the air, energizes the team, and produces unprecedented results. However, achieving these results requires straight talk and a willingness to stay focused on removing the elephant when it doesn’t want to readily lumber away!

How to Resolve Five Common Types of Elephants

When resistance is due to:

Overwhelm. Keep the conversation simple when the issue seems impossible or too big to handle. Use open-ended questions: “What is your experience with the new A/P system?” Allow others the opportunity to voice concerns without fear. Once everyone has had a chance to talk, brainstorm possible solutions. Now, create a focused action plan and speak directly with the person(s) that have the power to resolve it. Remember to stay focused on the solution, not personalities.

Egos. These can be the most difficult elephants to mitigate since egos involve executives’ sense of self-esteem and self-importance. Offer ideas in small pieces and let them choose which one to use since s/he ignores brainstorming. Then, give them credit when the idea succeeds, and offer one or two suggestions if it fails. Remember, the goal is to remove the negative impact on you and your team. As you gain the executives’ trust, you can have more effect.

Entrenchment. We’ve all heard the expression, “It’s the way we’ve always done it.” When team members offer ideas to resolve concerns, it’s essential to listen and learn and not take them personally. Set aside your ego as the leader, use critical thinking so that change isn’t for the sake of change, and manage the process to include everyone.

Bad Acts. If there is a claim of harassment or microaggression, or allegation of theft, it’s imperative to act responsibly now. Have a private conversation with your boss and human resources to determine how to proceed. This may mean letting a well-liked team member or coworker go. Remember, this elephant is negatively impacting others. And these observers are watching how you’ll handle the situation and are adjusting their work performance accordingly. Note: If you ignore this one, you’ll lose credibility, your team, clients, and your business.

Failure to Commit and Act. There are times when elephants have been addressed, but there is no change. Or the leader has agreed but fails to remove the elephant due to political reasons or is second-guessing their agreement. (Examples include continuing old hiring practices and resisting a needed strategic hiring system or asking a major financial contributor to stop smoking in a no-smoking office.) Get this resolved asap. Ask for help by talking with your executive coach for objective counsel. Stop hoping the elephant will eventually go away. Hope is not a strategy; elephants tend to stay too long when you avoid following through for win-win-win outcomes.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2011-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about removing elephants and creating win-win-win outcomes: Is an elephant residing on your team? With your client? Or, in your company? The longer you wait to resolve difficult issues or situations, the more entrenched these elephants become. In the meantime, you lose essential ideas and solutions along with team members and clients. Have questions about how to identify “elephants” and resolve them? Most do! Let’s chat now!

When employees “quietly quit,” it is often due to you quickly hiring on instinct and then slowly firing for poor job skills. It’s time to develop a strategic selection system to improve how and whom you hire! Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

Are Your Team Members Quietly Quitting?

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“When team members don’t feel heard or valued, they quietly quit. It’s up to you as the leader to notice and reengage them!” Jeannette Seibly

Contrary to popular awareness, quiet quitting is not new. It used to be called employee disengagement. Before that, many called quiet quitters difficult people to work with! And still do.  Jeannette Seibly

Quietly quitting can be viewed from several different points of view: bosses and leaders vs. entrepreneurs and gig workers vs. employees and team members.

As a boss/leader, when you are unaware, in denial, or unwilling to transform a ‘quiet quitter’ into a productive team member, they multiply. As a result, your company suffers, and your customers leave. This article focuses on reengaging quiet quitters and transforming how you manage for intended results.

Team members that are ‘quietly quitting’ are not outright quitting their jobs. They’ll still perform basic job duties but are unwilling to go above and beyond. They refuse to glorify workaholic behavior like Boomers and Gen Xers used to succeed in their careers. These team members get enough done to avoid being fired, refuse overtime, and stop responding to emails and texts outside work hours.

This attitude of quietly quitting comes across in team members’ words and actions, causing customers to leave and leaders perplexed about what to do to change it.

Why Does This Covert Method of Quietly Quitting Fail to Work?

Failing to have straight and respectful conversations always fails to produce the intended results and create the innovative changes needed to grow your team, company, and customers!

The bottom line is that change requires two-way communication:

  • Allowing team members to speak up respectfully so they feel heard and,
  • You listening and transforming traditional work style behaviors and expectations.

Other perspectives to consider:

Employees/team members: Quietly quitting is not the answer when you are dissatisfied, stressed, or unclear about managing new work and family life challenges. It’s time to step up and speak up in a respectful manner that gets results. A covert power struggle will have customers leave, and your employer closes its doors.

Entrepreneurs/gig workers: Being a business owner requires a business mindset. What are you unwilling to ask for if you don’t feel fairly compensated? Talk with a coach for clarity. Expecting companies to pay more than your contract specifies isn’t realistic. And, quietly quitting is a very poor business tactic.

As the Boss and Leader, It’s Up to You!

Learn to Truly Listen. Team members check out when you fail to be present in meetings or conversations! Apologize and stop letting your mind wander! You’ll be amazed by how the simple act of genuinely listening can make a huge difference in someone feeling valued. When team members feel valued and respected, they’ll reengage.

Talk with Team Members 1:1 and as a Group. Learn about the person and what they need.

Questions to ask:

  • “Tell me about your work.”
  • “What do you like?”
  • “What don’t you like about it?” Or, “What is your #1 challenge?”
  • “What can we do to solve it?”

Have straight conversations and “come down to reality” conversations about changes you can make and those you cannot. (Remember, changing job duties to accommodate someone’s unhappiness won’t make them happier if they are in the wrong job!)

Transform Your Mindset. It’s a New Normal. COVID, economic, and societal disruptions have changed everyone’s mindset about work. Be open to making needed changes to ensure team members work in jobs they enjoy, are fairly compensated, and have time to pursue family/personal life goals. Remember, it’s important to meet customer needs and team members’ needs too.

Set Realistic and Attainable Goals. With only 10% of teams achieving their intended results, as a leader, you need to step up your game and learn how to set goals and manage the process. The place to start is to hold team members accountable and provide them with the tools and resources required to achieve the intended results. Team members are reengaged when winning individually and as a team.

Job fit is the #1 reason people succeed at work! Harvard Business Review

Use a Qualified Job Fit Assessment for Hiring and Job Restructuring. Many team members and their bosses/leaders are in jobs that don’t fit them. As a result, they are bored or overwhelmed and lack the skills and willingness to develop skills they’re not interested in learning. Use a qualified job fit assessment that provides valid and reliable data to guide restructuring job duties and creating clear career paths for transfers, promotions, and pay increases. Be sure to get their feedback before making any changes! Or, they will either quietly quit (again) or leave the company. (Hint: Adding more tasks to the current job responsibilities is not restructuring a job!) (Hint #2: Don’t make (or imply) promises for pay increases and promotions you cannot fulfill.)

Don’t forget to grab, Hire Amazing Employees and create a strategic selection system for job fit when hiring, rehiring, transferring, or promoting employees. It will reduce the number of quiet quitters and reengage team members in their jobs.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about “quiet quitters”: When you are unaware, in denial, or unwilling to transform a ‘quiet quitter’ into a productive team member, they multiply. Your company suffers, and your customers leave. Have questions about how to identify this issue and turn it around? Most do! Let’s chat now!

Why are employees “quietly quitting?” One of the critical issues is poor job fit for employees! And poor job fit for their bosses who got promoted without the skills to be leaders. It’s time to develop a strategic selection system to improve your hiring results! Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

 

Many Hiring Failures Are Due to Being Uncoachable

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Why are so many new hires failing in their jobs? The #1 reason? They are not coachable!” Jeannette Seibly

Poor interpersonal skills are why there are so many hiring failures today!

The #1 reason? They are uncoachable.

Here are shocking stats:

  • Almost 90% of the time, it’s due to the new hires’ attitudes and poor interpersonal skills.
  • Only 11% of failures are due to technical skills.
  • Almost half of new employees today will fail within 18 months of hire. (Leadership IQ)

Why is being coachable important? It reflects the ability to accept and put in place feedback from bosses, team members, customers, and others! (Leadership IQ) Being coachable is why leaders and teams succeed in business!

Many hiring managers admit overlooking or explaining away flaws they saw during interviews. But they were unsure what to do with these insights or biases. Moreover, they lacked objective data from qualified job fit assessments that would provide the boss critical on how to coach these new hires for success.  (See Chapter 9, Using Qualified Assessments and Skill Testing in the newly released: Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!)

So, they default to selecting job candidates based on technical and other hard skills. But, then, these new hires are fired due to poor interpersonal skills! So, it’s time to improve your selection system and use your interview time effectively.

How to Hire Coachable Employees

  1. Job Fit Is #1. According to a Harvard Business Review study, job fit is why people succeed! Use a qualified job fit assessment to ensure you’re seeing the whole person objectively. When using real and consistent data, you can delve deeper and learn more about the person before hiring them! This avoids surprises!
  2. Ask These Two Very Important Interview Questions. A coachable person is looking to improve and is willing to ask for help.

Ask: “When was the last time you made a mistake?” and “How did you handle it?”

Then, listen for:

  • “What did s/he learn?”
  • “Who did s/he talk with?”
  • “Why did the mistake happen?”
  • “What were the results?”

This is perhaps the most critical and revealing part of the interview.

  1. Gain Additional Insight During Reference Checks with Previous Co-Workers. Ask this question: “Would you work for this person? Why?” Listen. I’ve found this question to be a good indicator of a person’s on-the-job interpersonal skills.
  2. Focus on Results Required for the Position. Put together a 180-Day Success Plan. Share it during the final interviews with the job candidate and listen. The person’s reactions may change over time, so it’s essential to address any change of attitude asap. Remember, you’re not hiring lone rangers that want to do it their way! You need team players with the attitude of, “I’m open to learning from my mistakes and contributing to the success of everyone.”

©Jeannette Seibly 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about how to hire coachable employees: One of the top reasons new hires fail is being uncoachable! During the hiring process, ask the job candidates about mistakes they’ve made and how they were handled. Want to improve your hiring success rate? Grab your copy of the newly published book, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results! Have questions? Most do! Let’s chat now!

Did you know your interview questions are costing you top candidates? How do you ask job-related questions? What are useless interview questions? Why should you only use the interview as 1/3 of the hiring decision? Get your answers, suggested interview questions, and so much more! Grab your copy of the newly released Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

Hiring Practices Are Why Employees Are Leaving!

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“Instinctual or intuitive hiring is a major factor in the mass exodus of employees leaving to find better bosses and work they enjoy!” Jeannette Seibly

People keep quitting at record levels, yet companies are still trying to attract and retain them the same old ways. (McKinsey Quarterly)

It isn’t easy today to compete and keep talent. As a result, many potential job seekers are moving between jobs and industries, retiring early, or becoming entrepreneurs. Some leave without a plan because their co-workers left. And, competitors and other employers are openly poaching your best people.

Why is this happening?

One of the biggest challenges for most hiring bosses is their use of instinctual or intuitive hiring practices. This old practice puts new hires or promoted employees into positions that don’t fit their interests or core behaviors. So, while they may readily accept the job offer, they may not have the true interests or willingness to do the job. Or take the position for more money and the job title to help them get the next one. And, today, more than ever, some employees work a few weeks or months to get the money needed to pay for necessities, then leave. Many times, without even saying “Goodbye.”

What Can You Do?

First, accept that the job climate has changed and is continuing to change. Employees want to enjoy their work, and money won’t buy loyalty.

Second, do a much better job hiring, training, and coaching your employees.

Third, realize that your unconscious biases often get in the way of hiring the right people (e.g., ageism, fear of diversity, and other leadership blind spots).

8 Keys to Hire and Retain Top Talent

  1. Use the strategic selection system outlined in Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results! The system will reduce the “intuitive” selections that often fail. Also, as a boss, ensure the success of new hires, rehires, transitioning contract or gig workers to full- or part-time hires, and job transfers and promotions.
  2. Use a qualified job fit assessment. Job fit is #1. It helps employees, bosses, and employers keep and attract top talent and customers! Stop using assessments that “feel good” but don’t meet the Department of Labor guidelines for pre-employment hiring and selection. (See Chapter 9, “Use the Right Assessments and Skill Tests” in Hire Amazing Employees.)
  3. Develop a strong employee orientation and onboarding program. Employees want to know they matter. In addition, use a 180-Day Success Plan to guide new hires or employees in new positions through the first six months. (See Chapter 6, in Hire Amazing Employees.)
  4. Promote people that can and will manage with care. Many studies have shown that bad bosses are one of the top reasons employees leave. Too often, we promote the top salesperson or best-liked person and forget to conduct “reference checks” of internal employees and their experiences with the people we promote. Not everyone can be a good manager, nor has the skills and interest to develop them. Create separate job paths so all employees can excel.
  5. Provide training opportunities for all employees to support their individual career paths. Include soft skills, financial and technical skills, diversity management, etc. Examples include: Money management for those wanting to buy a home or start a business. Supervisory skills for those with an interest in managing others. Project management for those wishing to become team leaders.
  6. Offer remote and hybrid work opportunities. To help employees balance work and life, provide options that fit their needs. Remember, not everyone will do well working remotely. So, be sure that you (and they) are clear of the requirements to be successful by using the strategic selection system to ensure it. (See examples shared in Chapter 18, Hire Amazing Employees.)
  7. Consider a broader array of benefit options. Providing a smorgasbord of benefit options keeps top talent. Examples: GenZ employees might select education benefits v. increased life insurance options. Parents might opt for housecleaning services v. degreed education benefits. Older employees might enjoy job sharing or part-time work v. full-time employment.
  8. Encourage self-care. More and more employees today no longer value work over health. Provide classes, executive coaching, telemedicine for kids or pets, and perks (gift cards for massages) that are meaningful to the employee.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about why your hiring practices encourage employees to leave: Even though The Great Attrition and Great Resignation occurred in 2021 for millions of employees … many employees are still leaving in 2022! Often, it’s due to employers’ intuitive or instinctual hiring practices! Using a well-designed strategic selection system will improve your retention, revenues, and results! Do you need guidance updating your strategic selection system? Let’s chat now!

JUST RELEASED!

Are you making the most out of your hiring budget? Creating a sustainable system will improve your results and your bottom line. Grab your copy of Hire Amazing Employees (Revised Edition): How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

 

Do You Include All Members of Your Team?

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“Including everyone isn’t hard. But it takes awareness, skill, and commitment to make it happen.” Jeannette Seibly

Have you ever attended a team meeting and sat with a smile plastered on your face? Then, left with your facial muscles hurting and your energy depleted? This is what happens when you are not included.

Many team members feel this way after attending team meetings. Lack of inclusion during team meetings is often due to cliques, not being part of the leader’s inner circle, or the leader being focused on him or herself.

As a leader, it’s your job to engage each and every person on the team! That’s being inclusive! Because including everyone creates more productive and engaging meetings. It also impacts the quality of results and meeting deadlines. This critical skill creates influential leaders in today’s workplace.

7 Tips to Be Inclusive

  1. Welcome Each Person as they Join the Meeting, Virtually or On-Site. Use their first name (or the name they wish to be called).
  2. Introduce People to One Another. Take responsibility for introducing people to one another at every meeting. Don’t assume team members know one another or feel comfortable socializing without some help. For example, on Zoom calls, allow 15 seconds for each person to give a quick intro. Being seen and heard sets a positive tone for the meeting or event.
  3. Ask for Each Person’s Opinion. During brainstorming and idea generation meetings, give everyone a chance to speak. And provide them with the option to “pass.” I go around the group more than once to ensure everyone has an opportunity to talk. And I almost always get better interaction the second time around.
  4. Acknowledge Each Idea. Say something positive, “Wow!” “That’s great.” “Hadn’t thought about that one.” When you value ideas, others feel comfortable offering their thoughts and insights. Reserve judgment about the quality of their ideas for later. It’ll be evident if an idea won’t work for a project or issue. Yet, I’ve seen the lamest ideas become epic solutions! So, learn patience and trust the process!
  5. Don’t Offer Your Ideas Upfront (as the leader or boss). During proper brainstorming activities, you want people’s unfiltered Otherwise, sharing your ideas first will have team members telling you what you want to hear. Even worse, team members won’t speak up because they are afraid to disagree with you. So, wait until everyone has an opportunity to share before offering your ideas. I use this tactic for every meeting. It’s incredible how this simple approach generates more engagement and better ideas.
  6. Assign Tasks Appropriately. When assigning tasks, base your decisions on the team member’s skills and not on whom you like the best. Allow people to volunteer first before making assignments. If the team member volunteering doesn’t have the skills, have them work with someone who is an excellent teacher. Otherwise, the tasks won’t get done correctly (if at all), and the person will disengage from the team. I use the PXT Select to ensure I know each team member’s skill level.
  7. Appreciate Each Person. Make sure to appreciate and acknowledge each team member for their contribution, whether large or small. Remember to use “please,” “thank you,” and “great job” often.

©Jeannette Seibly 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about including every team member: Being inclusive isn’t hard. But it does take awareness, skill, and commitment to ensure all team members feel welcomed, respected, and valued during calls or on-site meetings. So if you are hesitant about what to do, let’s start a conversation to get you into inclusive and productive action. Let’s chat now!

You Have Achieved Many Successes … So Why Do You Continue to Feel Like an Imposter?

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You have what it takes to succeed. So, why do you feel like an imposter?” Jeannette Seibly

Imposter Syndrome: The persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills. Oxford Dictionary

Many high-achieving business professionals feel anxious. They’ve worked hard. They’ve learned invaluable lessons by working through challenging experiences. But … yet … they doubt their intelligence and talents and disregard acknowledgment of their accomplishments. They feel like a fraud … like they are an imposter.

This self-doubt occurs even though they pride themselves on doing excellent work. The high-achievers (aka top talent) are good team members despite enduring jealousy and microaggressions from less-qualified co-workers or when they make mistakes.

Can you identify with these feelings of being an imposter? Here are some tips to help you own your accomplishments. Now is an excellent time to shake loose from disempowering yourself!

How to Acknowledge, Appreciate, and Increase Your Successes   

  1. Hire a Coach and Be Coachable. This is the #1 key! Many successful people don’t believe they need a coach. Yet, anxiety or frustrations can increase the number of mistakes made and cause team conflict. Talking through the pros and cons expands your perspective. When you feel empowered, you will take focused actions and have straight talk Invest in yourself if your company is unwilling to do so. It is money well spent.
  2. Find a Company and/or Industry Mentor. Follow-through. These insiders can navigate you through sticky situations and relationships. But remember, they are not coaches! While they can provide insights and help you understand “why” someone is blocking your team’s (and your) results, they may not adhere to confidentiality.
  3. Complete Qualified Job Fit and 360-Degree Assessments. These tools can guide you to understand yourself and help you lessen your “imposter feelings.” They also expand your perspectives about “why” people do what they do! Some assessments also provide leadership insights for improving your leadership results. Remember, being successful in your current position is an opportunity to build your career.
  4. Attend and Participate in Leadership, Communication, and Other Workshops. Don’t be a bystander because observation alone will not develop your skills. Instead, get involved in company offered workshops and online presentations.
  5. Get Back to Basics. And learn the legalities and best practices through hands-on experiences. For example, don’t just learn how to crunch numbers, learn how to use them to make sound business decisions! Then, do the same with other business operations.
  6. Develop Your Emotional Intelligence. Handling nay-sayers, team conflict, and other interpersonal challenges are critical. Also, use this process to reduce anxiety.
  7. Overcome the Fear of Failure. While it’s important to succeed, learning from your mistakes is also essential. Don’t dismiss them as unimportant or overthink them. Instead, complete this exercise to build objectivity and provide feedback for future endeavors. What Worked? / What Didn’t Work?
  8. Learn How to Brag Humbly. Doing so in a business-savvy manner will allow you to share your achievements and ideas so others can hear you. Complete the exercises in the book “It’s Time to Brag! Business Edition.” It’s also a great confidence booster and will help reduce imposter syndrome.
  9. Own Your Successes! Using the eight points above, own your achievements, failures, and leadership style. Remember, knowledge of the job comes with experience. The key is to learn the basics as a foundation and then build on them. It will help you overcome feeling like an imposter.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about overcoming the feelings of being an imposter: Many high-achievers (aka top talent) experience feeling like imposters, more so than others. How do you stop doubting yourself and own your successes? Read this week’s article and use the tips now. Need someone to listen and confidentially talk through concerns? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence can develop when working through mistakes. It’s the realization that how you handle mistakes either builds your confidence or diminishes it! Grab your copy of the 9 tips needed to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

How to Use Adversity to Make You and Your Team Stronger

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“Want to take advantage of new opportunities? Then, don’t let adversity stop you.” Jeannette Seibly

Like it or not, every team will hit a “wall” when adversity knocks. But remaining stuck or feeling sorry for yourself is not an option. These misfortunes or difficulties can originate from bosses, co-workers, and customers because no one likes change. Some feel threatened by it and will sabotage or block your efforts. Or, it can be due to a company “elephant in the room” no one wants to deal with.

Hoping that the adversity will disappear is a lose-lose-lose strategy! Instead, use your commitment and the team’s resilience to transform a situation, project, and/or relationship. Doing so will make everyone stronger. Here’s how-to-do-it:

5 Tips to Blast through Adversity

Get Real About What Happened. It’s essential to tell the truth. Putting frosting on mud pie and calling it a cake doesn’t change it from a mud pie! When difficulties occur, there is no shame in it. Everyone has experienced failure and unexpected adversity. Adversity can be due to a lack of critical thinking, ignoring ideas, or company politics. Take responsibility and talk with your executive coach and mentor when adversity occurs. Then, take immediate action to get it resolved.

TIP: Complete this exercise with your team: What Worked? / What Didn’t Work? This exercise will have you and your team focused on the facts of what worked and the lessons learned. It will also infuse objectivity into the conversations you need to have with others. This process is a precursor to moving through adversity powerfully.

Develop Emotional Intelligence (EI). It can be challenging to see a situation from another’s point of view when you are emotionally attached to being right. Ask questions. Listen and learn. Now build a bridge between where you are now and the goal you and your team intend to achieve.

TIP: To develop EI, talk with your executive coach or therapist and do the inner work to acquire the critical skills needed.

Utilize All Team Members Based on Their Strengths. There are times adversity occurs due to mistakes made by team members assigned the wrong jobs. Instead of relying on your favorite team member(s) to tell you what you want to hear, give assignments to the best-qualified person.

TIP: Use a qualified job fit assessment to clarify each team member’s thinking style, core behaviors, and primary interests. This information opens new opportunities to develop each and every team member, utilize their strengths, and reduce mistakes.

Be Responsible for What You Are Saying and Sharing. Today’s focus on transparency can backfire when you share too much and publicly blame others. Your relationships can be damage and other will stop trusting you. Straight talk is key. Include diplomacy and kindness to ensure everyone is willing to listen and get on the same page with you.

TIP: Keep a private journal and write down your thoughts and feelings. Not everything needs to be shared with others!

Practice Thanks! Everyone loves being appreciated. Saying “please,” “thank you,” and “great work” is critical. When done authentically, your teams’ confidence grows, and your customers feel valued. Appreciation is especially essential during and after working through adversity of a difficult situation. Be generous with your appreciation!

TIP: For one week count, how many times you appreciate someone. The following week double it. You’ll be surprised by the elevated confidence of your team. And, this is really easy to do!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about using adversity to make you stronger: Big goals will cause adversity since most people don’t like change! Ask yourself, “Am I willing to do the work required?” Then, have the right conversations with the right people to move the project forward. What adversity are you dealing with? Are you willing to get unstuck? Need someone to listen? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence can be developed even when dealing with adversity. However, it takes a commitment to yourself to address “lessons being learned” and not shy away from them. Grab your copy of the 9 tips needed to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

How to Keep Your Job When Working with an Overconfident Leader

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“Take care — overconfidence can sabotage working relationships irrevocably.” Jeannette Seibly

A new customer gave Allison’s company a similar project to what she had worked on with her former employer. She put together the plan and excitedly shared her knowledge with her boss, Stan. But Stan had his own ideas of what to do and how to proceed. While Stan allowed Allison to offer her plan first, he didn’t listen and scrutinized each point. So, even though Allison was well-prepared, she became inflexible that her plan was the right one. And the initial positive energy in the room deflated like a balloon losing air!

Finally, Stan said, “While this plan may have worked in your former company, we’re not them. So you need to do it my way.”

Not surprisingly, the customer was unhappy with Stan’s way. When Allison attempted to enlist several executives to help turn around the results, they refused. They cited a lack of time. But the truth was, they lacked the confidence to have the needed conversations with Stan and wanted to keep their jobs. He was known to overreact to anyone challenging his ideas on how to get things done. They did, however, recommend to Allison that she leave the company before being fired. (Side Note: The customer terminated the contract and hired Allison’s former employer to get the project done in a way that worked for them!)

This story demonstrates what happens when two overconfident people have to work with one another … disastrous results.

When egos interact with egos, no one is listening. Each person is attempting to outtalk the other and are inflexible to consider alternatives. The project or program is destined to fail, while the customer loses money and time, and at least one person will lose their job or be sidelined until finding another job.

So, how do you keep your job when working with an overconfident leader? First, check your ego at the door. Second … keep reading!

3 Keys to Work with an Overconfident Leader and Keep Your Job

Stay aware and mindful in conversations. Listen up when an overconfident leader shares a decision s/he is making or is about to make. It will impact you, your project, team, and budget, either directly or indirectly. Expand the leader’s opinions by asking open-ended questions for clarification rather than debating their decision. (I’ve coached lots of people who challenged the leader’s opinions. The results? Some were fired, and many were about to be and had no idea their overconfidence got in the way.)

Stand up and speak up. When the leader is overconfident, you will question your own point of view. (Harvard Business Review) Don’t let this deter you from being assertive and sharing facts. But(!) … diplomacy is crucial! (It’s an essential skill to learn!) Remember, while you may be right, overconfident leaders will ignore you when their ego feels threatened. The outcome can impact your future projects, results, budgets, resources … and career.

Avoid confrontation if the leader’s idea or assertion does not impact you. Choose which issues to pursue. If you confront every issue, the overconfident leader will stop listening to you. (And so will everyone else!) Instead, focus on significant issues that will impact you from a win-win-win perspective.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about working with an overconfident leader: First, set aside your ego! Second, be mindful, diplomatic, and ask questions to keep the conversation going. While it is a dance, the steps don’t need to be complicated. So, what challenge is on your plate to address this week? Need someone to listen? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence takes practice before you can master it (like all inner growth). What are the essential steps to achieve it sooner rather than later? It requires focused action! Grab the 9 tips needed to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

How to Prevent Overconfidence from Derailing Your Leadership

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“If your ego is in the way, your overconfidence will derail your results.” Jeannette Seibly

Well, I think we tried very hard not to be overconfident, because when you get overconfident, that’s when something snaps up and bites you. Neil Armstrong, American Astronaut

Now, more than ever, confidence is essential for leaders. It encourages your team, customers, and communities to follow you. But problems arise when you become overconfident. You fail to listen to others, be coachable, and focus your team on intended results. To make matters worse, you don’t admit to and learn from mistakes or wrongdoings. Then, before you know it, “something snaps up and bites you” – now, you’ve derailed your leadership.

6 Tips to Develop Healthy Self-Confidence

Pay attention to your communication style. Learn to be aware of words or actions that signal you’re being overconfident (e.g., “I’ve got this handled!” “I never fail!” “This always works.”). Work with your executive coach to see what details you may be stepping over or issues you are failing to address when this happens.

Be honest about your skills. Take the time to conduct an accurate assessment of yourself and learn about your blind spots. Work with your executive coach and use objective data from scientifically validated job-fit assessments. This will broaden your awareness of how others see you as a leader.

Stop comparing yourself with others. Too often, we blame others for mistakes they make but excuse our own! Instead, develop healthy emotional intelligence, work through mistakes, and learn from them. It will build your inner self-confidence and humility.

Test your assumptions before declaring your decisions. We often make decisions based on fragments of information. And, we’re usually wrong. Develop your critical thinking by deep diving into the factual pros and cons. Use your network and team to test your assumptions. Remember, 90% of the world’s information is in people’s heads, not the headlines on the internet or the latest hubris being expressed on social media!

Listen to others’ feedback and concerns. Confident leaders welcome brainstorming and hearing others’ ideas. This includes managing healthy disagreements and building win-win-win outcomes. Remember, learn to listen to what you don’t want to hear to improve your results and keep you focused on what matters. It keeps you grounded in reality.

Recognize when it’s the right time. While many ideas may work with modifications, it may not be the right time or place to put them into action. Avoid circular logic to push through these ideas that your business and customers are not ready for. This is often a problem with overconfident leaders.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about being an overconfident leader: It’s important to develop healthy confidence. Remember, you can avoid overconfidence by listening, being coachable, and admitting to mistakes. So, what challenges do you want to overcome? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence is an inside job … a life-long practice … and an essential factor in others following your lead. Grab the 9 tips required to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

Every Successful Leader Sparks Trust and Keeps It

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“Without trust, your team, boss, and customers will not take you seriously and dismiss what you say or do.” Jeannette Seibly

A trusting team is a team made up of people who feel safe around each other—safe expressing their feelings, asking for help, talking about problems, and admitting to mistakes. Simon Sinek

Successful leaders have learned how to spark trust and keep it growing. They know trust builds credibility over time.

They’ve also learned the hard way that one wrong decision or withholding important information can diminish trust. To improve trust, some leaders have had to alter their management style. For example, stop micromanaging, demanding too much, and playing office politics at the expense of others. These are trust killers, not trust builders.

How to Spark Trust

Trust Your Team. First, you must trust your team members. It doesn’t mean you overlook half-truths, missed deadlines, or poor quality. If someone says they cannot get a task done by a specific time, listen and ask, “What do you need from me?” Team members that feel trusted will go above and beyond to achieve the intended results.

Learn from Mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, including you! Yelling or expressing frustration at team members will not build trust! (If you do this, it’s time to hire an executive coach to learn new ways of expressing yourself!) Instead, together, conduct an objective review of “what worked/what didn’t work?” Acknowledge things that were well-done. Then, specifically, address two things to improve. Use your natural curiosity and ability to ask good questions to guide the team to build new solutions. The process will build trust (and respect) for you as a leader and team synergy.

Embrace Tough Conversations. Most leaders will do anything to avoid them. But if you don’t uncover the underlying factual issues, progress on projects will fail. The team will stop trusting you, and mischief and finger-pointing will erupt–spark trust. Instead, encourage resourcefulness and brainstorming of new ideas, and champion your team’s ability to work through conflict or issues.

Be Known for Straight Talk. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Allow others the freedom to do the same, to disagree with you and others without repercussions. This makes THE difference between your team trusting you to look out for them or feeling manipulated to get the job done (while not believing a word you have to say). When a project has not met the customer’s needs, tell the truth about why. Avoid spinning the facts to make yourself look good and your team feels good. Remember, they want to learn and grow.

Brag about Your Team! Sharing successes about each and every team member makes a positive difference and builds trust. Be aware of each team member’s contribution … no matter how small. When speaking with others, brag about your team’s successes and mean it!

©Jeannette Seibly 2020-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette about sparking and keeping trust: trust is required to be a successful leader. When you make a poor decision, you need to own it. When you assign the best-liked tasks to your favorite team members, you need to stop doing that! Building trust with your team, boss, and customers is how you achieve great results. Have you taken a misstep? (Don’t worry, many do.) It’s essential to “clean it up” asap. Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence is an inside job … a life-long practice. Developing confidence in your career and your life … without comparing these pursuits and results with others … allows you to pursue and achieve goals that are meaningful to you. Grab the 9 tips required to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).