How Do You Improve Being Coachable, Especially When You Don’t Want To?

“Why have a coach? Because a coach has you do what you don’t want to do so you can become amazingly successful!” Jeannette Seibly

Note: This is a reprint of the #1 article for 2022.

We’ve all been coachable and uncoachable. It’s part of being human.

Being coachable: You listen for feedback from people regardless of your feelings about them.

Being uncoachable and challenging to work with: You refuse to listen to others even when they are great results-producers.

Why are you uncoachable? It could be your:

  • Readiness to hear feedback or advice
  • Humiliation of what occurred (e.g., poorly done presentation)
  • Low self-esteem or ego
  • Workplace environment views coaching negatively
  • Need to do it your way or on your own

Regardless of your reasoning, developing your listening skills and being coachable is critical.

The bottom line is that every successful leader, boss, and high-performance person has a coach! Think of the NBA, business leaders, and sales teams with excellent sales results. They know that while the advice and feedback may not be delivered flawlessly to their liking, it’s important to be coachable. Setting aside their ego avoids costly errors, team conflict, and poor customer results.

How Do You Improve Being Coachable and Achieve the Success You Really Want?

Be Present and Make the Time. “Is it an appropriate time to talk?” For example, bosses may call you when your kids demand your attention, or you’re in a department store. When this happens, ask, “Can I call you back in ½ hour when I can hear you?” Then, make the call in ½ an hour! Why? When distracted, you cannot present what is being said and will overlook critical feedback details.

Listen to Feedback About You. Listen carefully when the feedback originates from a team member, customer, or executive. There is an important lesson to learn here. To be coachable, listen without defending your actions, words, or thoughts about the person who complained. Instead, a couple of questions to ask: “Can you be more specific?” and “What would you recommend that I do?”

Transform Your Mindset When You Make Mistakes. There will be days you don’t do your best, create team conflict, or say the wrong thing. When someone complains, your ego will feel the need to defend your actions and blame others for the results. Breathe! Apologize! Stick with the facts, not your feelings about the person, situation, or other factors. Instead, ask, “What can I specifically do to change the outcome?” Remember, your future career options require taking responsibility and being coachable!

Review All Project Results Before, During, and After. Too often, you’re open and ready to hear feedback when a project is working. But when a project has or is about to fail, you become defensive, stop listening, and turn it into a debate. Remember, there is always room for improvement. In preparation for these crucial conversations, complete this exercise: “What Worked?/What Didn’t Work?”

Seek Out Coaching When You Need Clarity. There is a myth that you need to know the answer before asking for help. It’s not true! Instead, be open to listening to the feedback and be coachable. For example, ask, “Do you have 5 minutes? I’m unclear on what I need to do to make this project work?” Share the specifics about the goal and actions taken. Always say, “Thank you.” Even when you don’t like their answers be coachable. It could make the difference between successful results and failure.

Listen for the Gold … especially when the little voice in your head is chirping, “I don’t want or need to hear it.” It takes practice to master the skill of being coachable. In turn, you will accelerate your leadership development, relationships, and business results.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She’s celebrating 30 years as an award-winning international executive consultant, speaker, and coach. Her clients value the listening and positive difference she brings to any conversation. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Contact Jeannette for a confidential discussion. PS: She’s also a three-time Amazon Best-Selling Author!

A Note from Jeannette about being coachable: Successful leaders have coaches. Being coachable isn’t hard if you’re open to feedback and asking for help. Start with your coach to resolve a challenging situation or relationship today. These issues rarely disappear on their own! Do you feel stuck? Not clear what the real problem is? You’re not alone. Contact me for a confidential conversation.

When was the last time you got honest about your leadership issues? Many employees today do not trust their bosses and leaders. Many leaders believe they already understand their blind spots. But they fail to get objective data to help them do the right things correctly. It’s essential to get actual objective data to improve your leadership. Click here for details.

Do You Want to Be a Successful Leader? Learn This All-Important Skill!

“Do you want to excel professionally and financially? Then, be coachable! It’s the #1 way to success.” Jeannette Seibly

“The paradox is that the very things that hold us back are the reasons we need a coach in the first place.” Seth Godin

Being coachable opens up unimaginable doors and opportunities!

  • All successful leaders and future leaders have coaches!
  • As a result, they develop the skills, competencies, and inner confidence that comes from being coachable.
  • In addition, being coachable uncovers blind spots that get in the way of receiving promotions, special assignments, and acknowledgments.
  • They become an influencer and leader that others want to follow.

What Does Being Coachable Mean?

“Coachability is not a technical skill or an inherent ability. It is a mental attitude.” It reflects your ability to ask for feedback, listen, and make appropriate changes. Learning from constructive criticism is also a reflection of your emotional intelligence (EQ). (mvorganizing.org)

What Does Being Uncoachable Look Like?

You roll your eyes, take things personally, and have myriad excuses for why you don’t or won’t ____ (fill in the blank). You are unhappy being stuck in your career and unwilling to do the right work to change it.

How To Improve Your Coachability!

  1.  Be Open to Learning. While you may want to seek out people more experienced than you, remember, you can learn something from anyone, anywhere!
  2. Seek Out Feedback. Ask team members, customers, and your boss for feedback, and leave your ego at the door! For example, ask, “What’s one thing that would help me improve my project results? Or, ability to work well with others?” Listen and be respectful, especially if the feedback isn’t what you want to hear. Remember to say “please” and “thank you.”
  3. Stretch Beyond Your Beloved Comfort Zone. These confining spaces get in the way of your success! Be willing to ask for help! Ask, “I tried this approach, and it didn’t work for me. What do you believe is missing?” Listen and don’t debate. This helps you discover your blind spots and how to overcome them. Now, do the work!
  4. Be Present When Interacting with Others. It starts with quieting the mental chatter of thoughts and distractions. Then, when you truly listen, you will discover insights between what you say you want and what you are actually doing.
  5. Make Positive Behavior and Attitude Changes. Talking the talk won’t make a difference. You must do the right work! If you don’t know what to do, ask an experienced coach, use a qualified job fit assessment to clarify “why,” and then get in action! (Stop thinking about it and get started now!)
  6. Hire the Right Coach. Successful leaders and future leaders hire the right executive coaches. They find the coach that can guide them to achieve what they really really really want, not what someone else believes they “should” have or do. Also, they select executive coaches that have coaches too! (Yes, coaches need to be coachable!)

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. Celebrating 30 years of award-winning international executive and family business management consulting, speaking, and coaching. She’s also an Amazon Best Selling Author with essential tips for busy employers! Her commitment has guided 1,000s of leaders to make a positive difference in their businesses. Feel stuck in a sticky situation or in challenging relationships? Want straightforward counsel to blast through it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about why being coachable is so critical: Forbes said it this way: “Many of us have the assumption that someday life will be easy.  … But this assumption that it gets easier is not true. It is never true because you change, the organization changes and the business environment is constantly evolving. A successful life means constant change and continuous learning. So set a goal now to remain coachable throughout your career.” Not sure where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Are you tired of hiring uncoachable employees? During the interview, ask: “When was the last time you made a mistake?” and “How did you handle it?” This is perhaps the most critical and revealing part of the interview. Get other tips and interview questions by grabbing, “Hire Amazing Employees!” (Amazon #1 International Best Seller)

How to Remove Elephants by Resolving Difficult Issues or Situations

“When you ignore the elephant in the room, you sabotage your team and their ability to produce great results.” Jeannette Seibly

When elephants are in the room, it means an obvious issue or situation is being avoided or ignored. While you may rely on the excuse, “if you ignore them, they’ll go away,” these elephants have a sneaky way of sticking around and sabotaging results — regardless of your feelings about their importance.

Team members quietly quit when unspoken issues or difficult situations are not vocalized and resolved. Usually, their reluctance to speak up is due to fears of personal or professional reprisals if they rock the boat. Or, the fear is due to not having the confidence, communication skills, or self-esteem to stay in the conversation when others don’t agree with them.

As the leader, it’s up to you to make the conversations safe and respectful and be committed to opening up the conversation to expose difficult issues or situations.  

Ironically, talking about these elephants clears the air, energizes the team, and produces unprecedented results. However, achieving these results requires straight talk and a willingness to stay focused on removing the elephant when it doesn’t want to readily lumber away!

How to Resolve Five Common Types of Elephants

When resistance is due to:

Overwhelm. Keep the conversation simple when the issue seems impossible or too big to handle. Use open-ended questions: “What is your experience with the new A/P system?” Allow others the opportunity to voice concerns without fear. Once everyone has had a chance to talk, brainstorm possible solutions. Now, create a focused action plan and speak directly with the person(s) that have the power to resolve it. Remember to stay focused on the solution, not personalities.

Egos. These can be the most difficult elephants to mitigate since egos involve executives’ sense of self-esteem and self-importance. Offer ideas in small pieces and let them choose which one to use since s/he ignores brainstorming. Then, give them credit when the idea succeeds, and offer one or two suggestions if it fails. Remember, the goal is to remove the negative impact on you and your team. As you gain the executives’ trust, you can have more effect.

Entrenchment. We’ve all heard the expression, “It’s the way we’ve always done it.” When team members offer ideas to resolve concerns, it’s essential to listen and learn and not take them personally. Set aside your ego as the leader, use critical thinking so that change isn’t for the sake of change, and manage the process to include everyone.

Bad Acts. If there is a claim of harassment or microaggression, or allegation of theft, it’s imperative to act responsibly now. Have a private conversation with your boss and human resources to determine how to proceed. This may mean letting a well-liked team member or coworker go. Remember, this elephant is negatively impacting others. And these observers are watching how you’ll handle the situation and are adjusting their work performance accordingly. Note: If you ignore this one, you’ll lose credibility, your team, clients, and your business.

Failure to Commit and Act. There are times when elephants have been addressed, but there is no change. Or the leader has agreed but fails to remove the elephant due to political reasons or is second-guessing their agreement. (Examples include continuing old hiring practices and resisting a needed strategic hiring system or asking a major financial contributor to stop smoking in a no-smoking office.) Get this resolved asap. Ask for help by talking with your executive coach for objective counsel. Stop hoping the elephant will eventually go away. Hope is not a strategy; elephants tend to stay too long when you avoid following through for win-win-win outcomes.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2011-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about removing elephants and creating win-win-win outcomes: Is an elephant residing on your team? With your client? Or, in your company? The longer you wait to resolve difficult issues or situations, the more entrenched these elephants become. In the meantime, you lose essential ideas and solutions along with team members and clients. Have questions about how to identify “elephants” and resolve them? Most do! Let’s chat now!

When employees “quietly quit,” it is often due to you quickly hiring on instinct and then slowly firing for poor job skills. It’s time to develop a strategic selection system to improve how and whom you hire! Get your copy of the newly released, Hire Amazing Employees: How to Increase Retention, Revenues and Results!

Do You Include All Members of Your Team?

“Including everyone isn’t hard. But it takes awareness, skill, and commitment to make it happen.” Jeannette Seibly

Have you ever attended a team meeting and sat with a smile plastered on your face? Then, left with your facial muscles hurting and your energy depleted? This is what happens when you are not included.

Many team members feel this way after attending team meetings. Lack of inclusion during team meetings is often due to cliques, not being part of the leader’s inner circle, or the leader being focused on him or herself.

As a leader, it’s your job to engage each and every person on the team! That’s being inclusive! Because including everyone creates more productive and engaging meetings. It also impacts the quality of results and meeting deadlines. This critical skill creates influential leaders in today’s workplace.

7 Tips to Be Inclusive

  1. Welcome Each Person as they Join the Meeting, Virtually or On-Site. Use their first name (or the name they wish to be called).
  2. Introduce People to One Another. Take responsibility for introducing people to one another at every meeting. Don’t assume team members know one another or feel comfortable socializing without some help. For example, on Zoom calls, allow 15 seconds for each person to give a quick intro. Being seen and heard sets a positive tone for the meeting or event.
  3. Ask for Each Person’s Opinion. During brainstorming and idea generation meetings, give everyone a chance to speak. And provide them with the option to “pass.” I go around the group more than once to ensure everyone has an opportunity to talk. And I almost always get better interaction the second time around.
  4. Acknowledge Each Idea. Say something positive, “Wow!” “That’s great.” “Hadn’t thought about that one.” When you value ideas, others feel comfortable offering their thoughts and insights. Reserve judgment about the quality of their ideas for later. It’ll be evident if an idea won’t work for a project or issue. Yet, I’ve seen the lamest ideas become epic solutions! So, learn patience and trust the process!
  5. Don’t Offer Your Ideas Upfront (as the leader or boss). During proper brainstorming activities, you want people’s unfiltered Otherwise, sharing your ideas first will have team members telling you what you want to hear. Even worse, team members won’t speak up because they are afraid to disagree with you. So, wait until everyone has an opportunity to share before offering your ideas. I use this tactic for every meeting. It’s incredible how this simple approach generates more engagement and better ideas.
  6. Assign Tasks Appropriately. When assigning tasks, base your decisions on the team member’s skills and not on whom you like the best. Allow people to volunteer first before making assignments. If the team member volunteering doesn’t have the skills, have them work with someone who is an excellent teacher. Otherwise, the tasks won’t get done correctly (if at all), and the person will disengage from the team. I use the PXT Select to ensure I know each team member’s skill level.
  7. Appreciate Each Person. Make sure to appreciate and acknowledge each team member for their contribution, whether large or small. Remember to use “please,” “thank you,” and “great job” often.

©Jeannette Seibly 2021-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about including every team member: Being inclusive isn’t hard. But it does take awareness, skill, and commitment to ensure all team members feel welcomed, respected, and valued during calls or on-site meetings. So if you are hesitant about what to do, let’s start a conversation to get you into inclusive and productive action. Let’s chat now!

Practices to Prevent Employees from Robbing You!

“Taking good care of your business includes ensuring employees are not stealing from you!” Jeannette Seibly

Throughout my career, I’ve listened to many stories and guided the clean-up of employee theft. Many times, it could have been prevented by following best practices and immediately addressing theft as it occurs. Unfortunately, while many companies focus on theft by hourly employees, the truth is that white-collar crime is on the rise!

Leaders, did you know?

  • The median amount lost in an employee theft claim is $150,000
  • 5% of an organization’s revenue is lost to fraud every year
  • 23% of employee theft cases cost $1 million or more
  • The average office fraud goes on for 18 months before being detected
  • The most frequent thefts involve billing and check tampering schemes

(Source: AICPA.com)

Employee theft includes:

  • Employer’s property for personal use, without authorization
  • Data, money, physical inventory, proprietary information, publications, workers’ comp, unemployment claims
  • Time theft for hours paid, but not worked
  • Payroll information (e.g., social security and banking information)
  • Service theft (e.g., allowing friends and family employee discounts)

1.Prevention Starts with Hiring and Selection (includes new hires, contract to full- or part-time, and rehires)

Companies today fail to conduct background, education, and other checks. These often occur when the boss knows the person, the person is a family member, or they believe they are too busy to conduct their due diligence. (Note: Always check with your legal counsel, human resource professional, or business manager for when and how this information can be obtained and used.)

Obtain Background Checks. These are public records. But remember, many companies do not prosecute employee theft. Therefore, it’s essential to use a qualified core value assessment too. These tools provide direct admission about what they’ve done, and pre-hires are likelier to tell the computer the truth than a human.

Conduct Appropriate Employment Checks and Verifications. They can wave red flags! These are important since over 85% of resumes contain inaccuracies and lies.

Remember to Hire for Job Fit. Why? Believe it or not, employee theft and misuse of company data can be due to boredom, hating the job responsibilities, or being promoted too soon because there was no job fit.

Source: Hire Amazing Employees (Revised): How to Increase Retention, Revenues, and Results! available in July 2022; SeibCo.com/books/

2.Handle Theft Issues Immediately (this will deter others)

Keep Your Eyes Open for “Dummy” Billings, Contracts, and Surprise Billables

A daughter stole over $1MM from her mother’s company using dummy billings over 2 years. Why did it go on for so long and for so much money? Her mother was in denial even after being told it was happening.  

  • Conduct unannounced internal audits
  • Use an outside financial auditor
  • Review your financials frequently for discrepancies
  • Stay in contact with your customers and listen for: surprise contracts, duplicate billings, unusual costs, or delivery of extra inventory

Don’t Retaliate Against the Thief

While you may wish to bash the person’s reputation or withhold their paycheck, don’t! Otherwise, you may end up in a libel suit. Or have a valid employment claim against you for unpaid wages.

  • Contact the police, and your attorney and insurance company
  • Follow the disciplinary process for letting the person go
  • Change passwords, and alert bank and credit card companies
  • If the employee was terminated, immediately change the locks and other security systems
  • If an unemployment or workers’ comp claim is filed, provide only factual information

Use Best Practices to Take Care of Your Business’s Future

An executive director stole several thousand dollars from a not-for-profit. She set up a personal account and deposited several of the organization’s checks into it. When confronted, she threatened to sue them, using her gender and race as excuses. The board backed off from firing and prosecuting her out of fear of “looking bad.”

How you handle this type of occurrence will determine your organization’s future. When someone steals money or data, it’s important to:

  • Tell customers IF there was a data breach by following best practices for your industry
  • Work with your attorney, human resource professional, and/or business manager to recover the money or value of items taken
  • Determine the return on investment before filing any lawsuit
  • Review practices and policies for weaknesses that allowed the theft or issues to occur
  • Don’t let threats of lawsuits keep you from doing what is right

3.Here Are Some Warning Signs You Should NOT Ignore

When an employee:

  • Complains about work, has poor job performance, or is in frequent disagreements with co-workers
  • Feels mistreated, not heard, or humiliated by their boss
  • Has others input overtime and/or expenses for them
  • Is dealing with debt, drug use, or a gambling problem
  • Is unwilling to train others to do their job
  • Works unusual hours (e.g., comes in too early or stays too late)
  • Accepts goods and monies for personal use from suppliers or others

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about preventing employee theft of time, money, and data: Many times, employee theft could have been prevented by following best practices and immediately addressing theft as it occurs. What do you need to do and become aware of to prevent employee theft? Does your strategic selection system need to be updated to avoid hiring mistakes? Let’s chat now before it’s too late!

Self-confidence allows you to address issues now. Self-confident leaders (current and future) address issues that cannot be ignored (e.g., employee theft, misuse of company data, etc.). Build the self-confidence you need to do the right thing now. Grab your FREE copy of 9 tips needed to develop self-confidence.

You Have Achieved Many Successes … So Why Do You Continue to Feel Like an Imposter?

You have what it takes to succeed. So, why do you feel like an imposter?” Jeannette Seibly

Imposter Syndrome: The persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills. Oxford Dictionary

Many high-achieving business professionals feel anxious. They’ve worked hard. They’ve learned invaluable lessons by working through challenging experiences. But … yet … they doubt their intelligence and talents and disregard acknowledgment of their accomplishments. They feel like a fraud … like they are an imposter.

This self-doubt occurs even though they pride themselves on doing excellent work. The high-achievers (aka top talent) are good team members despite enduring jealousy and microaggressions from less-qualified co-workers or when they make mistakes.

Can you identify with these feelings of being an imposter? Here are some tips to help you own your accomplishments. Now is an excellent time to shake loose from disempowering yourself!

How to Acknowledge, Appreciate, and Increase Your Successes   

  1. Hire a Coach and Be Coachable. This is the #1 key! Many successful people don’t believe they need a coach. Yet, anxiety or frustrations can increase the number of mistakes made and cause team conflict. Talking through the pros and cons expands your perspective. When you feel empowered, you will take focused actions and have straight talk Invest in yourself if your company is unwilling to do so. It is money well spent.
  2. Find a Company and/or Industry Mentor. Follow-through. These insiders can navigate you through sticky situations and relationships. But remember, they are not coaches! While they can provide insights and help you understand “why” someone is blocking your team’s (and your) results, they may not adhere to confidentiality.
  3. Complete Qualified Job Fit and 360-Degree Assessments. These tools can guide you to understand yourself and help you lessen your “imposter feelings.” They also expand your perspectives about “why” people do what they do! Some assessments also provide leadership insights for improving your leadership results. Remember, being successful in your current position is an opportunity to build your career.
  4. Attend and Participate in Leadership, Communication, and Other Workshops. Don’t be a bystander because observation alone will not develop your skills. Instead, get involved in company offered workshops and online presentations.
  5. Get Back to Basics. And learn the legalities and best practices through hands-on experiences. For example, don’t just learn how to crunch numbers, learn how to use them to make sound business decisions! Then, do the same with other business operations.
  6. Develop Your Emotional Intelligence. Handling nay-sayers, team conflict, and other interpersonal challenges are critical. Also, use this process to reduce anxiety.
  7. Overcome the Fear of Failure. While it’s important to succeed, learning from your mistakes is also essential. Don’t dismiss them as unimportant or overthink them. Instead, complete this exercise to build objectivity and provide feedback for future endeavors. What Worked? / What Didn’t Work?
  8. Learn How to Brag Humbly. Doing so in a business-savvy manner will allow you to share your achievements and ideas so others can hear you. Complete the exercises in the book “It’s Time to Brag! Business Edition.” It’s also a great confidence booster and will help reduce imposter syndrome.
  9. Own Your Successes! Using the eight points above, own your achievements, failures, and leadership style. Remember, knowledge of the job comes with experience. The key is to learn the basics as a foundation and then build on them. It will help you overcome feeling like an imposter.

©Jeannette Seibly 2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about overcoming the feelings of being an imposter: Many high-achievers (aka top talent) experience feeling like imposters, more so than others. How do you stop doubting yourself and own your successes? Read this week’s article and use the tips now. Need someone to listen and confidentially talk through concerns? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence can develop when working through mistakes. It’s the realization that how you handle mistakes either builds your confidence or diminishes it! Grab your copy of the 9 tips needed to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

How to Use Adversity to Make You and Your Team Stronger

“Want to take advantage of new opportunities? Then, don’t let adversity stop you.” Jeannette Seibly

Like it or not, every team will hit a “wall” when adversity knocks. But remaining stuck or feeling sorry for yourself is not an option. These misfortunes or difficulties can originate from bosses, co-workers, and customers because no one likes change. Some feel threatened by it and will sabotage or block your efforts. Or, it can be due to a company “elephant in the room” no one wants to deal with.

Hoping that the adversity will disappear is a lose-lose-lose strategy! Instead, use your commitment and the team’s resilience to transform a situation, project, and/or relationship. Doing so will make everyone stronger. Here’s how-to-do-it:

5 Tips to Blast through Adversity

Get Real About What Happened. It’s essential to tell the truth. Putting frosting on mud pie and calling it a cake doesn’t change it from a mud pie! When difficulties occur, there is no shame in it. Everyone has experienced failure and unexpected adversity. Adversity can be due to a lack of critical thinking, ignoring ideas, or company politics. Take responsibility and talk with your executive coach and mentor when adversity occurs. Then, take immediate action to get it resolved.

TIP: Complete this exercise with your team: What Worked? / What Didn’t Work? This exercise will have you and your team focused on the facts of what worked and the lessons learned. It will also infuse objectivity into the conversations you need to have with others. This process is a precursor to moving through adversity powerfully.

Develop Emotional Intelligence (EI). It can be challenging to see a situation from another’s point of view when you are emotionally attached to being right. Ask questions. Listen and learn. Now build a bridge between where you are now and the goal you and your team intend to achieve.

TIP: To develop EI, talk with your executive coach or therapist and do the inner work to acquire the critical skills needed.

Utilize All Team Members Based on Their Strengths. There are times adversity occurs due to mistakes made by team members assigned the wrong jobs. Instead of relying on your favorite team member(s) to tell you what you want to hear, give assignments to the best-qualified person.

TIP: Use a qualified job fit assessment to clarify each team member’s thinking style, core behaviors, and primary interests. This information opens new opportunities to develop each and every team member, utilize their strengths, and reduce mistakes.

Be Responsible for What You Are Saying and Sharing. Today’s focus on transparency can backfire when you share too much and publicly blame others. Your relationships can be damage and other will stop trusting you. Straight talk is key. Include diplomacy and kindness to ensure everyone is willing to listen and get on the same page with you.

TIP: Keep a private journal and write down your thoughts and feelings. Not everything needs to be shared with others!

Practice Thanks! Everyone loves being appreciated. Saying “please,” “thank you,” and “great work” is critical. When done authentically, your teams’ confidence grows, and your customers feel valued. Appreciation is especially essential during and after working through adversity of a difficult situation. Be generous with your appreciation!

TIP: For one week count, how many times you appreciate someone. The following week double it. You’ll be surprised by the elevated confidence of your team. And, this is really easy to do!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about using adversity to make you stronger: Big goals will cause adversity since most people don’t like change! Ask yourself, “Am I willing to do the work required?” Then, have the right conversations with the right people to move the project forward. What adversity are you dealing with? Are you willing to get unstuck? Need someone to listen? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence can be developed even when dealing with adversity. However, it takes a commitment to yourself to address “lessons being learned” and not shy away from them. Grab your copy of the 9 tips needed to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

How to Keep Your Job When Working with an Overconfident Leader

“Take care — overconfidence can sabotage working relationships irrevocably.” Jeannette Seibly

A new customer gave Allison’s company a similar project to what she had worked on with her former employer. She put together the plan and excitedly shared her knowledge with her boss, Stan. But Stan had his own ideas of what to do and how to proceed. While Stan allowed Allison to offer her plan first, he didn’t listen and scrutinized each point. So, even though Allison was well-prepared, she became inflexible that her plan was the right one. And the initial positive energy in the room deflated like a balloon losing air!

Finally, Stan said, “While this plan may have worked in your former company, we’re not them. So you need to do it my way.”

Not surprisingly, the customer was unhappy with Stan’s way. When Allison attempted to enlist several executives to help turn around the results, they refused. They cited a lack of time. But the truth was, they lacked the confidence to have the needed conversations with Stan and wanted to keep their jobs. He was known to overreact to anyone challenging his ideas on how to get things done. They did, however, recommend to Allison that she leave the company before being fired. (Side Note: The customer terminated the contract and hired Allison’s former employer to get the project done in a way that worked for them!)

This story demonstrates what happens when two overconfident people have to work with one another … disastrous results.

When egos interact with egos, no one is listening. Each person is attempting to outtalk the other and are inflexible to consider alternatives. The project or program is destined to fail, while the customer loses money and time, and at least one person will lose their job or be sidelined until finding another job.

So, how do you keep your job when working with an overconfident leader? First, check your ego at the door. Second … keep reading!

3 Keys to Work with an Overconfident Leader and Keep Your Job

Stay aware and mindful in conversations. Listen up when an overconfident leader shares a decision s/he is making or is about to make. It will impact you, your project, team, and budget, either directly or indirectly. Expand the leader’s opinions by asking open-ended questions for clarification rather than debating their decision. (I’ve coached lots of people who challenged the leader’s opinions. The results? Some were fired, and many were about to be and had no idea their overconfidence got in the way.)

Stand up and speak up. When the leader is overconfident, you will question your own point of view. (Harvard Business Review) Don’t let this deter you from being assertive and sharing facts. But(!) … diplomacy is crucial! (It’s an essential skill to learn!) Remember, while you may be right, overconfident leaders will ignore you when their ego feels threatened. The outcome can impact your future projects, results, budgets, resources … and career.

Avoid confrontation if the leader’s idea or assertion does not impact you. Choose which issues to pursue. If you confront every issue, the overconfident leader will stop listening to you. (And so will everyone else!) Instead, focus on significant issues that will impact you from a win-win-win perspective.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about working with an overconfident leader: First, set aside your ego! Second, be mindful, diplomatic, and ask questions to keep the conversation going. While it is a dance, the steps don’t need to be complicated. So, what challenge is on your plate to address this week? Need someone to listen? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence takes practice before you can master it (like all inner growth). What are the essential steps to achieve it sooner rather than later? It requires focused action! Grab the 9 tips needed to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

How to Prevent Overconfidence from Derailing Your Leadership

“If your ego is in the way, your overconfidence will derail your results.” Jeannette Seibly

Well, I think we tried very hard not to be overconfident, because when you get overconfident, that’s when something snaps up and bites you. Neil Armstrong, American Astronaut

Now, more than ever, confidence is essential for leaders. It encourages your team, customers, and communities to follow you. But problems arise when you become overconfident. You fail to listen to others, be coachable, and focus your team on intended results. To make matters worse, you don’t admit to and learn from mistakes or wrongdoings. Then, before you know it, “something snaps up and bites you” – now, you’ve derailed your leadership.

6 Tips to Develop Healthy Self-Confidence

Pay attention to your communication style. Learn to be aware of words or actions that signal you’re being overconfident (e.g., “I’ve got this handled!” “I never fail!” “This always works.”). Work with your executive coach to see what details you may be stepping over or issues you are failing to address when this happens.

Be honest about your skills. Take the time to conduct an accurate assessment of yourself and learn about your blind spots. Work with your executive coach and use objective data from scientifically validated job-fit assessments. This will broaden your awareness of how others see you as a leader.

Stop comparing yourself with others. Too often, we blame others for mistakes they make but excuse our own! Instead, develop healthy emotional intelligence, work through mistakes, and learn from them. It will build your inner self-confidence and humility.

Test your assumptions before declaring your decisions. We often make decisions based on fragments of information. And, we’re usually wrong. Develop your critical thinking by deep diving into the factual pros and cons. Use your network and team to test your assumptions. Remember, 90% of the world’s information is in people’s heads, not the headlines on the internet or the latest hubris being expressed on social media!

Listen to others’ feedback and concerns. Confident leaders welcome brainstorming and hearing others’ ideas. This includes managing healthy disagreements and building win-win-win outcomes. Remember, learn to listen to what you don’t want to hear to improve your results and keep you focused on what matters. It keeps you grounded in reality.

Recognize when it’s the right time. While many ideas may work with modifications, it may not be the right time or place to put them into action. Avoid circular logic to push through these ideas that your business and customers are not ready for. This is often a problem with overconfident leaders.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2019-2022

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about being an overconfident leader: It’s important to develop healthy confidence. Remember, you can avoid overconfidence by listening, being coachable, and admitting to mistakes. So, what challenges do you want to overcome? Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence is an inside job … a life-long practice … and an essential factor in others following your lead. Grab the 9 tips required to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).

Every Successful Leader Sparks Trust and Keeps It

“Without trust, your team, boss, and customers will not take you seriously and dismiss what you say or do.” Jeannette Seibly

A trusting team is a team made up of people who feel safe around each other—safe expressing their feelings, asking for help, talking about problems, and admitting to mistakes. Simon Sinek

Successful leaders have learned how to spark trust and keep it growing. They know trust builds credibility over time.

They’ve also learned the hard way that one wrong decision or withholding important information can diminish trust. To improve trust, some leaders have had to alter their management style. For example, stop micromanaging, demanding too much, and playing office politics at the expense of others. These are trust killers, not trust builders.

How to Spark Trust

Trust Your Team. First, you must trust your team members. It doesn’t mean you overlook half-truths, missed deadlines, or poor quality. If someone says they cannot get a task done by a specific time, listen and ask, “What do you need from me?” Team members that feel trusted will go above and beyond to achieve the intended results.

Learn from Mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, including you! Yelling or expressing frustration at team members will not build trust! (If you do this, it’s time to hire an executive coach to learn new ways of expressing yourself!) Instead, together, conduct an objective review of “what worked/what didn’t work?” Acknowledge things that were well-done. Then, specifically, address two things to improve. Use your natural curiosity and ability to ask good questions to guide the team to build new solutions. The process will build trust (and respect) for you as a leader and team synergy.

Embrace Tough Conversations. Most leaders will do anything to avoid them. But if you don’t uncover the underlying factual issues, progress on projects will fail. The team will stop trusting you, and mischief and finger-pointing will erupt–spark trust. Instead, encourage resourcefulness and brainstorming of new ideas, and champion your team’s ability to work through conflict or issues.

Be Known for Straight Talk. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Allow others the freedom to do the same, to disagree with you and others without repercussions. This makes THE difference between your team trusting you to look out for them or feeling manipulated to get the job done (while not believing a word you have to say). When a project has not met the customer’s needs, tell the truth about why. Avoid spinning the facts to make yourself look good and your team feels good. Remember, they want to learn and grow.

Brag about Your Team! Sharing successes about each and every team member makes a positive difference and builds trust. Be aware of each team member’s contribution … no matter how small. When speaking with others, brag about your team’s successes and mean it!

©Jeannette Seibly 2020-2022 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, keynote speaker, and author for over 29 years. Her focus is to guide leaders to make a positive difference. Feel stuck moving your team forward? Want straightforward counsel on how to do it? Let’s chat! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette about sparking and keeping trust: trust is required to be a successful leader. When you make a poor decision, you need to own it. When you assign the best-liked tasks to your favorite team members, you need to stop doing that! Building trust with your team, boss, and customers is how you achieve great results. Have you taken a misstep? (Don’t worry, many do.) It’s essential to “clean it up” asap. Let’s Chat!

Self-confidence is an inside job … a life-long practice. Developing confidence in your career and your life … without comparing these pursuits and results with others … allows you to pursue and achieve goals that are meaningful to you. Grab the 9 tips required to develop the self-confidence you’ve always wanted (FREE).