Leadership

How to Stop Being a Difficult Team Leader

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“Instead of blaming your team for all of the problems, take a look in the mirror!” Jeannette Seibly

Most teams experience difficult team dynamics.

But what do you do when the problem is you and your poor leadership style?

Most team leaders are not well trained. They wing it and hope for the best. They attempt to follow the latest fad or gimmick with little success. Or, they lead one great meeting and believe they have it all handled.

When things go wrong (and they will), try on the idea the problem is not your team members, it’s your leadership style.

7 Tips to Transform Your Leadership Style

  1. Be Present. This is the #1 reason your team will respect you, or not. Put away your electronic gadgets and other distractions. Pay attention. It’s critical that you stay active in all conversations. Be fearless in addressing any conflict as it arises without bias.
  2. Have Integrity. Do what you say you will do by when you say you’ll get it done. (Sounds simple but is not easy.) Be accountable when making promises and take notes so you don’t forget.
  3. Talk Straight. Be clear about what you are saying and why you are saying it. Don’t tell people what they want to hear to be well-liked. It’ll backfire. Learn how to have come-down-to-reality conversations when your team is going off track.

    “Teamwork works when they have the right team leader.” Jeannette Seibly
  4. Allow Idea Generation. Brainstorming and listening are critical to uncovering solutions. You do-not-need-to-have-all-the-answers! (Reread that sentence!) Your team has hands-on experience and will share ideas if everyone is willing to listen and be open to new ideas!
  5. Be Focused on Their It’s not about you! It’s about the project, customer, and each and every team member. You’re the conductor to ensure all areas are moving forward together. Focus on finding resources and managing processes to achieve intended results.
  6. Use Mindful Resilience Skills. Every leader has emotional triggers. Yet, successful, effective leaders take responsibility and manage their upsets and frustrations effectively, without blaming others.
  7. Hire the Right Coach. This is critical for any leader that has gone off-track. Continued derailment is not an option. Get the right help you need NOW to get-on-track before your situation gets worse. The right coach will guide you and your team to address issues and create solutions.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. Her expertise is guiding 100’s of leaders and teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Note from Jeannette Seibly: I love coaching leaders and their teams to create win-win-win strategies and achieve dynamic results. I’ve been doing this for more than 28 years. During these challenging times, it’s not unusual to get stuck. To get unstuck, let’s talk and bounce ideas around to have you move forward. Please contact me for a confidential conversation. In your email, provide your name, phone number, the general issue, along with several times to talk. JLSeibly@SeibCo.com

Do you Know How to Influence Change with Others?

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Leaders Influencing Change
“Now more than ever, influencing change is a skill all leaders must learn.” Jeannette Seibly

Never underestimate the power of being a rebel. While rebelling can be effective, the results are often short-lived.

Instead, learn the key factors that influence positive change. You’ll become part of the solution, and not part of the problem. The results will be long-lasting and support your career aspirations.

5 Key Tips to Influence Change

Get the Facts. Overreacting to an issue will only make the issue bigger than it needs to be. Get the actual facts, not the facts you’ve made up to justify your reaction.

An example: A business owner felt offended by a comment a trusted employee made. Instead of asking for clarification, he ruminated about it. Then, a few days later when the employee asked for help, the business owner commented, “Why would I need to help you? You seem to have all the answers.” A few weeks later the employee rebelled by leaving to take another job.

Use Your Words to Inspire. Talk Straight. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Influencing others requires diplomacy, tact, and respect. Choose your words in a way that gets others’ positive attention and interest. Don’t use offensive words or humor since they will usually back-fire. Remember, others will interpret your words through their own filters. So, consider the make-up of your audience when crafting your messages!

Listen to others points of view
“If you want people to listen to your ideas, you must listen to their ideas too.” Jeannette Seibly

Be Open to Hearing Opposing Points-of-View. Dismissing someone’s opposing view will only make them defensive and unwilling to budge from their position. Be fearless when asking good questions to learn more about their perspective. Remember, they can have valid opinions too. A good way to build agreement is to repeat back what you heard the other person say (to his/her satisfaction) before responding to his/her remarks.

For example: Telling someone you won’t listen to their ideas will create a rebellion, covertly or overtly. A sales manager learned this the hard way when a sales rep suggested a new way of communicating with customers, current and future. The sales manager refused to listen, thinking it was a bad time to make any changes. A covert rebellion ensued. The sales rep left taking several other top sales reps with her. The company’s #1 competitor happily welcomed them and their ideas!

Be a Parrot. Plan on repeating yourself  over a period of time. Influencing change takes time. Often, leaders are blind to what is possible. They fear change and any loss of control…so they will resist new ideas. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge others’ positions with respect and help them determine what is in it for them.

Provide Your Plan in Writing. Yes, write it all down. Then, build your influence by getting others’ buy-in before fine-tuning. When making any change to the plan, don’t change the heart and soul of the idea. Present the plan, along with a budget and timeline. Remember, you’re looking to build alignment, not consensus.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. Her expertise is guiding leaders and teams to get unstuck and achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Note from Jeannette Seibly: I love coaching leaders and their teams to create win-win-win strategies and dynamic results, and have been doing so for the past 28 years. During this challenging time, if you need to talk and bounce ideas off of me, please contact me. In your email, please provide your name, phone number, the general issue, along with several times to talk.  JLSeibly@SeibCo.com

It’s Q4…Now is The Time to Get In Action for Success

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Recently I talked with a woman upset that her annual event could not happen due to COVID. When I suggested hosting a virtual event, she strongly reacted with a BIG NO! Yet, after talking with several of her team members, she reconsidered. Now, with her renewed efforts, she and her team created a powerful and successful virtual event! And still, she is lamenting about her lack of success in doing it the old way.

The truth is, when we lament about the old ways, it’s an indicator that we’ve hit the wall of life. We’re confronted by the need to expand ourselves for new successes, and just don’t want to do it. So, instead of moving forward, we focus on past failures (e.g., financial, health, etc.) and feelings of potential failure (“I’m waiting until things get better before I do anything.”).

The time spent lamenting would be better spent moving forward, step by step. Don’t wait for inspiration or until you are hit over the head because you waited too long.

Remember, it’s Q4! The good news is you still have 100% of 2020 left. There IS enough time to turn around your business, career, and life for success. But it does require rethinking your view of success and your willingness to take the right actions for it to happen!

6 Tips for Success to Happen Now

True goals are not achieved in a day…yet, success happens with each and every step forward!

First, get up and get moving!  Daydreaming and Internet surfing can be beneficial. But…like most things in life…too much will sap your energy and your ability to make a positive difference! Instead, write down your ideas. While you’re up and moving, allow these ideas to percolate and pop! Don’t discount them and don’t latch onto them without conducting your due diligence. Then, talk them out with the right advisor who is good at discerning fact from fiction. Next, pick one area to focus on and move forward.

Be willing to fail as well as succeed. You have a choice of whether or not you embrace Q4. This mindset is key. Too often when you have failed or perceive there will be failure you stop. Instead, create a stretch goal for Q4. You have 3 months to get it done! Start the process now with focused action! To stay on track, create a support team!

Develop an inner sense of power. When you don’t feel powerful, you diminish your value and accomplishments, especially when life doesn’t look like you think it should. You stop doing the things that create success. A strong indicator that you’ve lost your inner compass is when you fall into a power trap. A power trap is when you feel the need to micromanage people or resources, use a parental tone, or blame others for the problems. STOP! Conduct a review of your current challenge by talking with the right people to make the necessary changes. Success can be that close to happening!

Seek advice and make requests. Right now, your ego may feel fragile due to so much change. You may fear others will see you as incompetent if you ask for guidance. Instead, write down 3 goals. Map them. Now, pick one goal. Talk with 3 people to fine-tune it and make it achievable right now (not to get buy-in for a future pie-in-the-sky idea). Don’t forget to work with your executive coach to expand your perspective. This will save you time and money!

Create a rallying cry. It’s easy to go off course and into the weeds in thoughts and actions! This can happen at any time and anywhere. Create a rallying cry that reminds you to keep moving forward.

For me, this was an important habit to create! When things didn’t look like I thought they should, I use my rallying cry, “It’s my year to thrive and grow.” Also, every time I hit new challenges (and there have been plenty of them) I remind myself, “It’s my year to thrive and grow.”

Celebrate all successes, no matter how small. Acknowledgment, appreciation, and admiration work wonders for keeping you and your team moving forward. For yourself and your team, don’t forget to express these phrases, “Good work!” “Job well done!” “Please” and “Thank you!”

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

CONGRATS! 28 years and still guiding leaders to create unprecedented results!

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. Her expertise is guiding leaders to get unstuck and achieve unprecedented results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

It costs time and money to keep happy clients/customers…yet, we feel helpless when they want to leave. Learn how to keep customers from straying!  https://seibco.com/keep-customers-from-leaving-workbook/

Do you have so much to do that you do nothing? This is common, especially with all the #newnormal changes occurring. Get motivated. FREE: 5 Tips to Improve Your Productivity Right Now

How to Get Comfortable Seeking the Right Advice

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It can be lonely as a leader. When there is a challenge or the need to ask for advice, you may be unclear about who to talk with and who can provide you the right advice.

Here’s a simplified example. I’m sure many of you have read through social media postings where people are asking for advice or referrals. You may have posted your own “asks.” The problem is you receive an abundance of advice and go into overwhelm. Then, become stuck and don’t know how to proceed.

Sound familiar? Of course, most of us have experienced this in all areas of our lives. It can be very uncomfortable.

8 Tips for Getting the Right Advice Now

  • Be Open. Stay away from “yes” people telling you what you want to hear! Remember, too many ideas will have you undecided on what to do next. Instead, limit your “ask” to three key people: mentors, coach, and/or trusted advisors. If they provide recommendations for experts, limit these to three people.
  • Get Specific. Be clear about the advice you need by being specific about the issue and what you need to happen. For example: If you need to resolve a team dispute, include the key factors that must be considered, like team member satisfaction, team communication, and customer deadlines. 
  • Use the Rule of Three. Whenever you are making a big purchase or getting help with a problem, seek out only three proposals or bids. Provide the vendor/consultant with the specific goal and intended outcomes. Then, review these opportunities using your checklist to make your decision.
  • Seek out trusted advisors and mentors. Keep your network up-to-date. As a leader, you never know who you will need to talk with until after the issue has occurred or is about to happen. Remember, when they recommend an expert ask “why” this person would be a great source of information.
  • Deep dive and ask the right expert for factual information. Too often, we listen to what we want to believe, instead of what is factual. For example, there are over 3,000 publishers of assessments tools on the market today for pre-employment use. However, very few assessments meet the DOL Standards for Testing and Assessment: An Employer’s Guide to Good Practices. Check out PXT Select for your hiring, coaching, training, and managing needs.
  • Hire the right coach. Yes, this can be difficult if you’re not clear what you want or need. Remember, successful leaders have executive coaches. Your coach should be the first person to talk with before seeking out other advice. It’s also the most comfortable place to start.
  • Ask the right people. If you have a legal question, ask the right attorney. If you have a people management issue, ask a people management consultant. Don’t ask lots of people who have no actual hands-on experience or success on resolving the issue. Ask the people who know.
  • Listen! This will be especially difficult when someone’s point of view doesn’t match your own or triggers an emotional response (e.g., cost, process, looking good, etc.). Put aside your filter and listen…you will learn and receive new advice that can make a big difference!

You’re not the first leader, nor the last one, to have the same or similar challenges. It’s really about learning who the right advisors are, receiving the right advice, rather than receiving an abundance of opinions. Be vulnerable and professional when sharing information about you and your company will become comfortable over time. Remember to honor confidentiality, while being respectful of their time.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for 28 years. Her expertise is guiding leaders to get unstuck and achieve unprecedented results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Don’t forget to listen to On the Air with Jeannette Seibly: It’s Your Time for Success on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

Want to keep your customers? My clients have used this process to keep their customers and attract new ones!  https://seibco.com/keep-customers-from-leaving-workbook/

Are you feeling discouraged? Disempowered? Unsure how to get things done? Get re-inspired. FREE: 5 Tips to Improve Your Productivity Right Now

 

How You Can Help Your Team Be Their Best

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As a leader, it’s your responsibility to guide your teams and team members to be their best. This includes taking responsibility for their failures as well as their successes.

6 Tips to Develop the Best

  1. Believe in Them. This is #1. If you don’t believe in people, you won’t be the best leader and will fail to develop the best team members. It’s important to believe in each and every person and help them develop their strengths. Use a qualified assessment to coach them and develop the right skills for their success. The right assessment will guide all of you on how to do it.
  2. Hire Right the First Time. The right people in the right jobs is the least costly and the most beneficial to the health of the team. Design and develop a strategic hiring/selection plan and follow it!. Pay attention to the results of the qualified assessments you use. Your team members will thank you!
  3. Create a 180-Day Success Plan. This should be part of the on-boarding process. Also, conduct effective performance reviews quarterly with no surprises. Focus on the skills and opportunities needed for each team member to be their best.
  4. Keep an Open-Door. It’s important to hear about issues as they are occurring instead of after the fact. This allow you to advise and guide your teams and team members to resolve conflicts, stay in action, and develop confidence.
  5. Provide an Executive Coach. This is for you and for your team members. Studies have shown that the right coach develops you and your team members to achieve unprecedented results.
  6. Encourage Training and Development. Budget for team training plus allow a specific dollar amount for each employee to use as appropriate. In addition to developing technical, financial, and project management skills, don’t forget to include integrity, accountability, responsibility, decision-making, and critical thinking ALL of these skills will develop a competent and confident team!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for more than 27 years. Her expertise is guiding leaders to get unstuck and achieve unprecedented results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Don’t forget to listen to On the Air with Jeannette Seibly: It’s Your Time for Success on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

Are you confused about how to win the job, promotion, or pay increase? Learn how to do it in 5 easy steps:  http://CareerBragging.com

Want to keep your customers? This process has been used by several clients to keep their customers from straying!  https://seibco.com/keep-customers-from-leaving-workbook/

How to Become a Trusted Leader

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Did you know: team members that work for trusted leaders are far more innovative and achieve top-notch results?

That’s the value of being a trust leader. But to earn this reputation, you must build your credibility over time.

Right now, this can be difficult due to changes and the unexpected economic twists we’re experiencing. Yet, not trusting yourself and others will create the need to control others, micromanage, demand too many meetings, and play office politics. None of these behaviors or attitudes will earn the trust you need from others to be a successful trusted leader.

5 Key Factors to Build Trust

Trust Your Team. First, you must trust your team members. It doesn’t mean you overlook half-truths, missed deadlines, or poor quality. It means, if someone says they cannot get a task done by a certain time, listen and ask, “What do you need from me?” Teams that feel trusted will go above and beyond to get the intended results.

Learn from Mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, including you! Yelling or expressing frustration at team members is not the way to build trust! Instead, together, conduct an objective review of “what worked/what didn’t work?” Acknowledge things they did well. Then, specifically focus on two things to improve. When you develop an ear to listen, your natural curiosity and good questions will get you to the heart of the error or failure. Then, you can create new solutions.

Embrace Tough Conversations. Most leaders would much rather avoid them. But if you do and don’t get to the underlying issues making progress on projects difficult. The team either doesn’t believe in the outcome or fear failure. Some will complain they don’t have all the resources needed. Don’t buy into the excuses. Instead, encourage their resourcefulness, brainstorm new ideas, and champion their ability to work the conflict or issues.

Be Known for Straight Talk. Say what you mean and mean what you say. This makes THE difference between your team trusting you to look out for them or feeling manipulated to get the job done. When a project has not met the customer’s needs, tell the truth about why. Avoid spinning the facts to make yourself look good and your team feel OK. Remember, they want to learn and grow.

Brag about Your Team! Sharing successes about each and every team member makes a positive difference. This requires being aware of each team member’s contribution…no matter how small. Also, it’s imperative when speaking with others that you brag about their successes and mean it!

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker for more than 27 years. Her expertise is guiding leaders to get unstuck and achieve unprecedented results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Don’t forget to listen to On the Air with Jeannette Seibly: It’s Your Time for Success on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

Do you know the secret to selling yourself to win the job, promotion, or pay increase? Learn how to do it in 5 easy steps:  http://CareerBragging.com

Want more customers? Learn how to prepare and Be a Fabulous Podcast Guest who gets invited back!  http://SeibCo.com/workbooks/

Healthy Conflict Supports Collaboration When Done Right

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Many times, when there is conflict or disagreements, we view the other team members as enemies. Then, most team members will take sides, while others will want to remain neutral. Regardless, viewing others as a friend or foe impedes collaborative actions since the focus is no longer on win-win-win results.

The added challenge is, when there is conflict, many people get fearful. They do the “ostrich approach” and stick their heads in the sand. They hope for the best since they don’t have the confidence or skills to impact the conflict. They also fear the impact the conflict will have on future job opportunities.

Conflict and collaboration impact the results of any project. They also impact the effectiveness of the team. While avoiding conflict limits your effectiveness as a leader, failure to build collaboration limits your team’s results. It also hurts your future career opportunities.

7 Tips to Improve Collaboration

  1. Set the Right Example. It’s OK to disagree and have differing ideas, values, and experiences! This awareness is key so that you and your team members don’t overreact or stop listening. The key is to listen and be open to hearing others’ points of view. As the leader, it starts with you setting the right example and expecting your team members to do the same.
  2. Brainstorm. It isn’t hard when done right. When brainstorming ideas, list ALL ideas from each and every team member. If there are concerns, ask questions for clarification, not for debate.
  3. Ensure Everyone Speaks. Call on each person for his/her perspective and ideas. Allow them to “pass” if they don’t want to share at that time. Again, ask each team member until there are no new ideas offered. Go around the team at least 2 times after new ideas have stopped to ensure no one is hiding out.
  4. Respect Each Team Member. Remember, it’s OK to not agree with others. Conflicts arise, along with voices when people do not feel heard. Get the training necessary for you and your team to feel heard. As the leader, set the example of listening while valuing and respecting each and every team member’s perspective and ideas. Remember, off-the-wall or silly ideas can spark the right ones!
  5. Stop Multi-Tasking. Have everyone leave their electronic devices and other distractions at the door. If on a remote call, remind them to shut down other programs and minimize distractions. It’s important to remember when we truly listen new ideas get generated.
  6. Address the Fear as It Arises. Regardless of all the team training, some team members will get fearful during conflicts. Fear is contagious. As the leader, it’s up to you to learn how to recognize and manage it now. Work with your executive coach to develop a mindful resilience for yourself, which inspires team members to do the same.
  7. Align for Better Results. Many companies rely on 100% consensus as their way of resolving conflicts. However, it’s a poor strategy. The hoping and waiting costs time, money, and customers! It also breeds silos and distrust. Instead, align by agreeing on the best plan for right now. Understand how it will impact the company tomorrow. Then, put together a strategy to move forward.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker. For more than 27 years, she has been an expert in guiding leaders to excel in business and beyond.  Need help developing you and your team to achieve better results?  Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. Don’t forget to listen toOn the Air with Jeannette Seibly: It’s Your Time for Success on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

There are a lot of posted jobs right now. Selling yourself will attract the recruiter’s attention. Learn how to do it in 5 easy steps: http://CareerBragging.com

Expanding your business doesn’t need to be difficult. Learn how to Be a Fabulous Podcast Guest (and get invited back!) http://SeibCo.com/workbooks/

 

3 Bad Habits You Need to Break to Be a Confident Leader

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Leaders today are facing new challenges. Remember, it’s important to build true confidence in yourself and others during this time.

Building your confidence today and inspiring confidence in your team is critical! And, given what’s going on in the world, it’s even more important now.

What inevitably gets in the way of being a confident leader? Your bad habits.

Due to all of the uncertainty, as a leader, you are under more pressure than ever before. Now, is when your leadership habits…the good, not-so-good, and bad…can either support you and your team achieving great results or not.

It’s Critical You Breakthrough These 3 Bad Habits

  1. Poor Listening Skills. This #1 bad habit will sabotage your results!   

A leader had a bad habit of checking his emails and texts during meetings. He insisted he was only multitasking and could hear everything being said. He failed to understand the human brain is wired for one activity at a time. (Multi-tasking is a myth!) It wasn’t until he missed hearing critical information that he learned this lesson the hard way. Even after the team member repeated himself, he failed to understand or question the significance of it. As a result, the budget was exceeded and timeline was missed.

Always listen as though your results (and career) depend on it…because they do!

  • Lack of Awareness. One leader constantly found fault with how others did their work. He thought he could do it better and faster. The truth was, he didn’t have the skills to do their jobs. He lacked the awareness of the impact of his comments and did not understand these comments disengaged his team and hurt productivity.  

When someone fails to achieve the required results, it’s time to inspire confidence in your team members, not criticize their work habits. Remember, during this crisis, it’s NOT business as usual.

During ALL conversations stay present and aware:

  • State the intended goal or results in 10 words or less.
  • Listen to each team member’s input and concerns.
  • Work through any push-backs in a win-win manner (think, ethical considerations, workability, impact on others, etc.).
  • Align on the work and completion dates with your team to meet your client’s needs.
  • Provide necessary resources. Remember, working from home is not the same as working from the office.  

Your awareness determines the quality and timeliness of your team’s results.

  • Know-It-All Attitude. A new leader was a micromanager, a common trait of inexperienced leaders. She wanted everything done exactly as she thought it should be done. Whenever a mistake was made, instead of taking responsibility, she blamed her team (and others) for making her feel humiliated and for letting her down.

To break this bad habit, listen to your team members’ ideas. They are working on the front lines and can be resourceful when encouraged to do so. Also, listen from compassion since they are experiencing a lot of frustration, stress, and anxiety during these uncertain times. It’s up to you to inspire confidence in them!

Building true confidence in yourself and others starts inside you.

Remember, bad habits are amplified during a crisis. They will come out and be displayed in unexpected and unwanted ways. Work with an executive coach NOW to effectively navigate through these uncertain times. It’s the mark of a confident leader who inspires confident team members!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2012-2020

Jeannette Seibly is an award-winning dynamic results coach and keynote speaker. For the past 27 years, she has guided the creation of leaders to excel in achieving results. Contact Jeannette today for straight talk with dynamic results. Don’t forget to listen to her podcasts on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

I’ve got an invitation for you.

All leaders are bosses! If you want to be a better boss or hope to be a boss someday, I invite you to download “15 Ways to Be a Better Boss”  It’s free.

Mindful Resilience is Required to be a Successful Leader

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Life.Should.2Note: This is a reprint, originally posted on June 23, 2020. Last week I conducted a Mindful Resilience webinar for the Denver Financial Professionals. Participants shared: “This is very helpful…I love it…Thank you.” Due to so many changes occurring right now in the workplace and in life, I would recommend reviewing the 6 Tips.

What can you do to handle your emotional triggers while eliciting the best from others?

We are all triggered by certain words, facial expressions, and gestures. As successful, resilient leaders, we don’t have the luxury of hanging onto our upsets.

Mindful resilience is when we develop a conscious awareness of our triggers and address our reactions in a positive manner. It’s starts with you, as the leader, taking responsibility for your triggers when they occur so they don’t get in the way. Remember, clarity of what triggered your reactions is required before you can create win-win-win outcomes.

6 Tips to Create Mindful Resilience

Breathe. Remember, everyone gets triggered. The moment you notice you are triggered, breathe in for 5 counts. Pause. Exhale for 10 counts. Repeat this practice 3 times. Why should you practice breathing? Breathing reduces the fight, flight, or freeze stress response triggered in your brain. Breathing allows you to take responsibility for your reactions (aka triggers) and is critical before attempting to resolve any issue.

Have Come-Down-to-Reality Conversations. Team members can hold onto upsets and use them to justify their poor job performance. That’s why you, as the leader, need to be aware of when these upsets are brewing and take responsibility for resolving them before they turn into a major issue. Remember to use straight talk with compassion during these tough conversations.

Get to the Heart or Core of the Problem. When you as a leader inadvertently dis someone or ignore a festering issue, upsets will be covertly expressed. It’s like a mole hill expanding into a mountain. Remember, you are human and you will make mistakes! So, will everyone else. Instead of allowing your ego to justify your actions, ask and clarify what happened with your team member or team, then, talk it out. If you don’t, the upset will become an irreversible issue that overshadows the core problem.

Be Responsible for Your Communication Style (most people aren’t)! When you use words or terminology that others don’t understand, apologize. Start over by asking questions and be curious about their responses. It’s very easy to lose people when you present the same information over and over (think, you’re probably bored). Also, when you’re presenting a new idea you’ve been thinking about for a while, remember, it’s the first time they’ve heard it. Keep in mind, people learn at different rates of speed. Be prepared to draw a graph or show them a specific example. Remember, as a leader, it’s your responsibility to slow down and get everyone on the same page.

Learn How to Forgive, Even When You Don’t Believe You Should. As a leader, you will have arrows aimed at you when team members feel frustrated or upset. But you don’t have the luxury of hanging onto these insults without them impacting your mindset and success as a leader. Forgive those that gossip, criticize, or blame you. While this is easier said than done, remember, forgiveness is for you. Remember, you don’t to say, “I forgive you” to the offender to forgive them. If you do, it may make it worse.

Hire the Right Coach. Mindful resilience requires you to expand your POV. When a sticky situation or political relationship is not going well, talk immediately with your executive coach. Listen and learn. You can make things worse and sideline your career if you attempt to do it on your own.

©Jeannette Seibly 2020

Jeannette Seibly is an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker.  For more than 27 years, she has been an expert in guiding leaders to excel at working through difficult situations and political relationships. Contact Jeannette to improve your strategic hiring, coaching, training, and managing processes.  Don’t forget to listen to her podcasts on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

How do I interview to win the job offer? Selling yourself is key to winning the job, promotion, and/or pay raise you want! Learn how in 5 easy steps:  http://CareerBragging.com

One fun marketing idea: learn how to Be a Fabulous Podcast Guest (and get invited back!)  http://SeibCo.com/workbooks/

How to Develop a Great Relationship with Your Boss

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building-better-relationship-with-your-boss.4Every successful leader has times when his/her boss doesn’t like them! This happens for a variety of reasons. For example, you’ve made a series of bad decisions, your direct reports are complaining about you, or your ego hurts results.

Why doesn’t your boss like you? Because you’ve made more work for him or her!

The key to developing a great relationship with your boss is resolving issues as they arise. This requires 1:1 communication. Unfortunately,  you tell yourself to wait it out. You hope that you won’t need to talk it out. Yet, this strategy rarely works and hurts your relationship with your boss. You also miss out on new career opportunities.

6 Tips to Develop A Positive Working Relationship with Your Boss

Develop Trust. If you are someone that doesn’t listen to yourself when you make promises, it’s the reason your boss (and others) don’t trust you. Learn to be present and listen when you make promises. Also, listen to your boss, especially when you think you already know what the boss is going to say! Ask follow-up questions to clarify expectations for assignments.

Develop Confidence. While you may not have confidence in your boss’s ability to make the right decisions, set this aside. (If appropriate, recommend an executive coach!) It’s important you develop your boss’s confidence in your ability to manage your team or project. To develop this confidence, work with your own executive coach and focus on the inevitable ups and downs of managing others and projects. This makes less work for your boss! The added benefit is confidence breeds likability.

Develop Integrity. Bosses value honesty and candor. But, when telling the truth, be responsible to state it in a tactful and diplomatic way. There are 2 ways (hint: use the best one based on the boss’s type of personality):

  • -Warn the boss s/he won’t like your answer and then use straight talk; OR
  • -Use a sandwich approach: share 2 positive things before sharing 2 specific issues. Then, wrap up with 2 good things.

Develop Good Working Relationships with Others. If team members complain about your management or project style, this breeds discontent. Many bosses don’t like resolving people issues or getting in the middle of conflicts! To alleviate this from happening, learn to slow down when interacting with others. Build alignment by being present in all conversations and work through conflicts. Be a champion for team success not just your own success. Work with your executive coach and learn how to elicit better responses from others.

Develop Project Success. If you fail to meet your customers’ expectations, you will create distrust. And, eventually your boss will be forced to fire you! Instead, learn how to manage projects for success. Start with developing strong project management habits, brainstorming skills, people development skills, and meeting facilitation skills.

Learn How to Brag! Most bosses have no idea what you’ve been doing, and, when they do, they only hear about problems! Learn how to brag and bring your successes and your teams’ successes to your boss’s attention. Also, learn to appreciate your boss…it makes you more likable!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2020

Jeannette Seibly is an award-winning executive coach and keynote speaker.  For more than 27 years, she has been an expert in guiding leaders to excel in business and beyond. If you have a boss that doesn’t like you, get it resolved now before it’s too late! Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. Don’t forget to listen to On the Air with Jeannette Seibly: It’s Your Time for Success on Anchor.FM or YouTube.com.

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