2022 is the Year of Hiring!

“Hiring the right people to fit the right positions creates stellar performance, productivity, and profitability.” Jeannette Seibly

This is the year of hiring! The Great Resignation saw a record 4.5 million Americans quit or change their jobs in November (Washington Post). Many of you are now attempting to fill these positions. Or review changes to current employees’ work assignments, which will lead to more employees leaving due to poor job fit with their new job duties.

It’s important to remember that this is a great time to level up, or your company will be left behind!

Here are 4 often overlooked tips as you move forward in your selection and hiring process. And, remember, when you use a qualified job fit assessment, you will improve your hiring decisions with objective data. If you have any questions or need someone to bounce off ideas, let me know. I’ve been hiring, coaching, training, and managing people for over 30 years.

Keep your word. Recruiters and hiring managers can give your company a bad name. While it may be obvious, there are way too many stories about recruiters and hiring managers not keeping promises. Or, they ghost candidates and/or lie about the job responsibilities. Consider how you treat candidates will impact your sales results and ability to attract top talent.

Can they work remotely? Not all employees are capable of working independently in a virtual environment due to a variety of reasons. Therefore, it’s essential to establish your expectations upfront and design your interview to ask the hard questions.

3 interview questions to get started:

  1. Why do you believe you would enjoy working in a remote job?
  2. Have you done this before? If yes, what did you like and dislike?
  3. Do you prefer working in a hybrid or fully remote position? Why?

Ask about mistakes. While everyone makes them, many job candidates don’t feel comfortable sharing them. But when they share the error and what they did to correct and learn from it, you’ll know they have the confidence and self-awareness needed for your company. If not, they will most likely become your future blamers and complainers.

One example (remember to keep the question open-ended): “Everyone makes mistakes. Please tell me about a recent one and what you did to correct it.”

Most expensive mistake companies make when promoting an employee! Failure to conduct due diligence before promoting employees IS a costly mistake. Avoid this by going through the same interview hiring process as an outside candidate. If you don’t, and they fail, they will leave taking other top talent and top customers. Use a selection process designed to include objective data.

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. During the past 29 years, she has become an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, and keynote speaker. Recently, she was able to add another brag. She has been an Authorized PXT Select/PXT Partner with Wiley/Profiles International for 30 years, guiding companies to hire the right person the first time. Have questions? Need help? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

Being a top influencer in 2022 is a great goal. But now you need to put the right action-plan into place and follow it!  Get started today with your FREE copy of Eight Tips to Increase Your Ability to Influence.

 

How to Stop Tactless Remarks from Hurting Your Leadership

“Words matter … so choose your words responsibly.” Jeannette Seibly

It only takes a second to blurt out a tactless remark, but it can take hours, weeks, and even years for your team, boss, or customer to forget … if they ever do.

As a leader, your words reverberate throughout the company and impact your team’s results. You have a choice … your words will either inspire or deflate others.

The words you choose will impact the results you, your team, and your business strive to achieve.

Words Matter to Achieve Team Results

Here are 7 common tactless remarks guaranteed to create conflict, frustration, and poor results. So again, choose your words wisely.

Yeah, but…! This only invokes debate, defensiveness, and poor solutions! Listen with an open mind and heart. You will learn something new!

“That’s stupid.” This tactless remark is a great way to block others from wanting to share their ideas and solutions! While you may not want to hear their ideas, get over it. It’s your job as a leader to listen. Instead, ask, “That’s interesting…how would that work?” Now ask yourself, “What new insights did I learn?”

“I have the wrong team.” Although this is a common remark, it’s doubtful you have the wrong team! In reality, there may be one or two underperforming team members not committed to the goal or causing team conflict. It’s your job to get everyone on the same page. While training and developing your team, you will uncover the real issues that have hindered progress. Now, it’s time to have the tough conversations without blaming others.

“I hate this project or customer.” Expressing this remark hurts your team’s ability to produce intended results. When you “hate” something, you limit new ideas and make bad decisions. It also limits your ability to be a positive influencer. Work with your executive coach and a mentor to transform this mindset.

“I never liked working here.” Did you know, according to Gallup, that over 70% of employees are in jobs that don’t fit them … including leaders? (Numbers are now climbing!) Use a qualified job fit assessment to clarify the reason for your dissatisfaction. Now, get back in action and build the leadership skills required to engage your team and produce dynamic results.

“My team or customer or boss is a moron…jerk…narrow-minded (the list is endless)” Insulting someone’s intelligence or labeling them hurts team productivity and results. And, unfortunately, your team (and others) will mimic you! Remember, there will be times you must effectively work with and through others to achieve win-win-win outcomes. So, make it a practice to facilitate good working relationships along the way!

[absolute silence].  When tragedy, terminal illness, or a life difficulty happens to a team member, saying something is better than saying nothing. Pick up the phone (don’t text or send emails). Let the person know, “I’m sorry” or “My thoughts are with you” and “Let me know if you need anything.” You only have this one chance to let the person know they are valued. Your effort, or lack of, will impact your team members and their results for a long time. In these situations, silence is not golden.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2020-2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals for almost 30 years. Her brags include being an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, and keynote speaker. Recently, she was able to add another brag. She is now an international Amazon Bestselling author of, The Old Wooden Rocker. Have questions? Need a speaker or facilitator? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette: How to Stop Tactless Remarks from Hurting Your Leadership. Every leader has made tactless remarks, even if it was only one time. While it may only take a moment to make a tactless remark, it can take hours, weeks, and even years for the team or person to forget. Apologize immediately when this happens. If the issue is still hanging around, call me now for a confidential conversation … let’s get it fixed now before it’s too late!

Know you’re making a difference by being a positive influencer. Learn how to share so that others will listen. Get your FREE copy of Eight Tips to Increase Your Ability to Influence

Build Confidence by Not Allowing Self-Doubt to Sabotage Your Career

“Overcoming self-doubt requires believing and trusting in yourself … as you are … right now.” Jeannette Seibly

Have you ever wanted to do something and the “little voice in your head” said, “NO! You’ll fail! You can’t! You’re not smart enough! You’re too old! You don’t have what it takes to succeed?”

Everyone has self-doubts. They occur when fear or uncertainty creeps in! But don’t let your self-doubt become the predictor of your goals, career choices, or leadership.

Building confidence is an inside job and erases self-doubt. It’s developing a belief and a trust in yourself each day … where you are … right now.

7 Ways to Erase Self-Doubt and Build Confidence

  1. Replace Negative Self-Talk with Your Brags! Internal mind chatter often gets in everyone’s way, especially when attempting something new. To overcome this, complete the Brag! work in It’s Time to Brag! Business Edition. Wow! Look at what you’ve already achieved! Remember, no matter what you’ve accomplished in life … and you’ve already accomplished a lot … self-doubt can sabotage your career if you allow it! So now, before you second-guess yourself, again, offer your idea, manage team conflict, and/or ask your boss for that promotion and pay raise!
  2. Banish the Fear of Feeling You’re Not Good Enough. We all experience the “Imposter Syndrome” when not feeling confident, especially women. This happens regardless of all the credentials and other awards you’ve won! When it occurs, talk it out with your executive coach. Uncover the real reason for your fear (e.g., getting your boss’s approval, managing a difficult team member, hiring the right person, etc.).
  3. Be Willing to Learn Something New. Yes, everyone started their career “not knowing how to do or accomplish something!” However, the ones that succeeded were willing to set aside their ego, admit they didn’t know, and learn the basics. They were also ready to practice and become masters while working through mistakes! Remember, when you set aside your ego, you learn at a faster and more advanced level!
  4. It Doesn’t Need to be Perfect … Just Very Good. This can be difficult for successful people to grasp … and, it doesn’t mean overlooking mistakes. Also, it doesn’t mean accepting mediocrity. Remember, perfectionism creates unnecessary stress, team conflict, and missed milestones. So relax, trust in the process, and allow your team to work their magic!
  5. Use the “Rule of 3” to Make the Best Decision You Can. Create 3 must-haves for your project, new vehicle, or next job. Now, get three different quotes or create three options for fulfillment. When selecting a book editor, I remember I found three viable candidates and had each submit their proposal. Then, I decided on the one that met my criteria. Remember, the cheapest isn’t always the best one!
  6. Accept Negative Feedback Graciously. When you receive negative feedback, instead of allowing self-doubt to take hold, get the specifics of the issue. Be open to feedback. It’s how you improve. Ask, “What were your 2 specific concerns and why are these important?” Listen and learn. Now, incorporate these as appropriate. If you’re not willing to learn from negative feedback, your self-doubt will win!
  7. Just Because You Fail, It Doesn’t Mean You Should Stop Trusting or Believing in Yourself. Of course, there will be times you fail (we all do). But it may be time to get real. If you’re unwilling to take focused-actions designed to achieve the results, work with your executive coach for other options. For example, if you’re reluctant to sell, being a financial planner will not be a successful career choice today.

©Jeannette Seibly 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals for almost 30 years. Her brags include being an award-winning international executive and family business management consultant, and keynote speaker. Recently, she was able to add another brag. She became an international Amazon Bestselling author of, The Old Wooden Rocker. Have questions? Need a speaker or facilitator? Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note from Jeannette about erasing self-doubt. Everyone experiences self-doubt when faced with uncertainty, especially when attempting something new. Learning to erase these fears builds confidence now and guides you in future endeavors. Are you stuck and uncertain where to begin? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

Want to be an influencer? Have your ideas heard and valued by your boss and team? Get your Eight Tips to Increase Your Ability to Influence

 

Do You Need to Hire Salespeople … What Are 5 Key Tips?

“Hiring the right salespeople impacts your customer’s experience and fulfillment … and your bottom line.” Jeannette Seibly

Hiring salespeople can be a challenge. Many will look and/or talk the part. But when hired, fail to produce the required results.

Remember, it’s always faster and easier (and so much less expensive) to determine their ability to sell before you hire them. If you don’t, you’ll spend too much money and energy, and face sleepless nights attempting to fix them (and this never works out well for anyone).

5 Tips to Improve Your Selection Process

1. Are They Listening? Can they hear you? Do they respond appropriately? Ask the candidate to summarize the interview or various parts of the conversation by asking, “Tell me what you heard?”

2. Do They Ask Questions? Do they have questions about your company, product, management style, etc.? If not, move on. Candidates that don’t ask questions lack the curiosity and skills to inquire further.

3. Are They Calm and Patient? Does the person squirm in his/her seat? Does the candidate rush the conversation or attempt to finish your sentences? Does the candidate look at you when speaking or listening? While closing is a required skill and requires the ability to not be too patient, failure to have the prospect feel comfortable is critical.

4. Do They Fit the Job? To determine key traits, most salespeople need prospecting, presenting, and closing. Use a qualified job-fit assessment. Can they do these things? Will they do these things? And, can they do these things for your company and product?

5. Do They Tell the Truth? To objectively answer this question, first, use an honesty/integrity assessment to uncover omissions that are not part of a public record. It saves time and money by not talking with candidates that stretch the truth (think, customer expectations and fulfillment). Second, with final candidates, check background, education, and other accomplishments.

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. During the past 29 years, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. Her brags include being an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker. If you continue to struggle to hire salespeople who can actually sell, now is a great time to contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about hiring salespeople that can actually sell. Many candidates for sales positions look and/or talk the part. The problem is, they fail to produce the required results. It’s up to you to improve your selection process to uncover salespeople that can actually sell your product and service. Need help? Contact me to improve your hiring and selection processes.

Do You Know How to Listen to Succeed?

“Misunderstandings, bad decisions, and team conflict create poor results. Avoid them by simply listening!” Jeannette Seibly

Most people would say, “Sure, I listen if …”

  • It’s something that interests me.
  • The speaker is engaging.
  • The boss is saying something that I need to hear.

But listening selectively doesn’t work.

Poor listening skills are the #1 reason for poor communication today! It impacts everything, everywhere in our lives, careers, and businesses…and leads to poor results.

There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak. Simon Sinek

You’re not listening when you are …

  • Engaging with the internal chatter in your head
  • Multi-tasking
  • Thinking about other things to do
  • Replaying old upsets (Hint: listening can resolve them)
  • Creating a new job and not engaged in the one you have

The costs of not listening are many. A select few include:

  • Teamwork and comradery are lost
  • New ideas and opportunities are missed
  • Logical discernment and cost-saving processes are overlooked
  • Trust — people feeling valued and respected disappears

8 Tips to Improve Your Listening and Your Results

1. Set Aside Your Ego. It’s the #1 reason you don’t listen. You believe you know-it-all or have already heard it! The truth is, you haven’t. Stop finishing people’s sentences or ideas. Not only is this rude, but you’re also usually incorrect. When your team does not speak up to correct you…you lose time and cost-saving ideas.

Max was a CFO for a large company. He had an uncanny ability to listen and sought out others’ ideas and opinions before making decisions. He didn’t just rely on executives’ opinions, he talked with others that would be impacted too. As a result, his decisions were better accepted and easier to implement. He’d learned the value of listening early in his career and believed it built trust. He was right!

2. Deep Dive. Hearing a tidbit of info and expanding and expounding on it isn’t listening. It’s your ego at work … and often it can be wrong. Listening and asking questions are part of developing critical thinking skills.

3. Stop the Internal Chatter. You have an internal chatterbox. (We all do!) It operates full-time every day, and many times keeps you awake at night too. Learn to meditate and disengage from mental chatter. Now, use these skills for listening.

4. Be Present. Focus and concentrate in the moment when interacting with others. This simple, but rarely used, listening practice makes all experiences more authentic and meaningful. Bonus … others will feel and see the difference too!

5. Set Aside Your Point of View. Set aside mental ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ about the person, task, or situation. This gets in the way of listening and hearing more than the words said. The creation of new ideas begins by listening and engaging in “Tell me more.”

Sabrina, a project manager had tons of experience and so she didn’t listen to anyone that didn’t agree with her. She said, “no” more than, “Tell me more.” As a result, she lost the trust of her team. They felt disrespected. In turn, they only did the work necessary making it difficult for Sabrina to execute customer projects. They also blamed her for not listening to them whenever something went wrong.

6. Don’t Shoot the Messenger. This metaphoric phrase is used to blame the bearer of bad news. (Wikipedia) Be willing to hear what you don’t want to hear. This. Is. Critical. (Yes, it’s hard, but worth the effort.) It will improve your results, save time and money, and have others feel respected. Also, it will save your job and career.

7. Show Me. Many people are not confident when sharing their concerns. They’ve learned that others don’t want to listen. So, if you’re not clear, don’t dismiss their concerns as unimportant. Instead, say, “Show me the concern.” Have the person physically show you from start to finish to ensure clarity.

8. Stop Multi-tasking. Everyone believes they are the exception to the rule and think they know how to multitask and listen at the same time. They don’t! This egocentric habit (lots of us have it) gets in the way of listening and paying attention to the details. When people need to repeat what they have already said, they don’t feel valued or respected. When you truly listen, it saves time and builds trust in you since you actually heard them!

Becky had a habit of sitting through “boring” meetings thumbing through her social media posts and texts. As a result, she missed her boss’s announcement about meeting with executive management. She didn’t show up prepared with the required 3-minute PPT and she attempted to wing-it. When asked by her boss why she didn’t come prepared, she said, “I’m too busy putting out fires.” His response was, “If you learned to listen, you wouldn’t have so many fires to extinguish.”

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. During the past 29 years, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. Her brags also include being an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker. If you’re struggling to get unstuck, now is a great time to contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A note from Jeannette about listening to succeed. The #1 communication skill overlooked today is listening! We are too focused on standing up and speaking up and forget to listen first! Contact me about providing the workshop, Everyone Is Talking, But No One Is Listening! for you and your leaders.

The 6 C’s Required to Create Crazy Amazing Success Starting Now!

“Achievement can only happen when you are willing to pursue what you really, really, really want.” Jeannette Seibly

It’s Q4! The craziness of 2021 is winding down. It’s time, if you haven’t done so already, to create new goals or pull them out from hiding in your drawer. Now, deal with the little negative voice in your head! Let’s create real success to support your goals for now and 2022.

The 6 C’s to Practice for Success

CREATE a Vision. What do you really, really, really want to achieve? Put aside what your parents and/or family and/or friends believe is the right vision. If it is a work goal, create the initial goal, plan, and budget before sharing it with your boss.

COURAGE is an Inside Job. Success requires authentically telling the truth about who you are and what you really want to achieve. Then, create the goal and take action instead of waiting for the perfect time (since it’ll never come). If this is an entrepreneurial pursuit, keep your day job until you have enough income to leave.

CONVERSATIONS Must Level Up. The conversations in your head and with others must focus on the outcomes you want to achieve, not on excuses or negativity. These only get in the way of success. Talk like a business person or community advocate when sharing your vision.

For example: Stop talking about feeling unmotivated this past year. Instead, talk about the new book you are writing. Or, the new project you are leading. Or, the new effort to create a community/family garden. The possibilities are endless. Share why it’s important and why it makes a positive difference for you and others. (PS: When having these types of quality conversations, allow others to contribute.)

COMMITMENT Requires Focused Action. Telling yourself, “I’m committed,” but not taking the right focused actions, normally creates failure. If you’re truly committed, create a blueprint supported by actions that lead to your intended results! Now, follow it! Do not create busyness as your new excuse.

CONSISTENCY Each and Every Day. Be bold and audacious by taking one step forward each day. Write in your journal (for your eyes only) and share your brags daily. This will motivate you to stay in action. If you have a day job, find the time and ask for help (e.g., have your family do chores, hire someone to tutor your kids, etc.). Then, honor the time you’ve set aside.

COACHABILITY: The Secret for Success. Asking for help and being coachable starts with hiring the right coach. It makes all the difference. Many entrepreneurs and small business owners fear a coach will change things and they will no longer be in control. Get over it! Be more committed to your success than your ego!

For example, an entrepreneur loved creating new products. But she hated creating the business infrastructure required to grow. She continued to struggle with sales until she learned how to work with her coach and do the work required.

Following these 6 C’s you will achieve crazy amazing success!

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. During the past 29 years, she has guided the creation of three millionaires and countless 6-figure income professionals. Her brags also include being an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker. If you’re struggling to get unstuck, now is a great time to contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation.

A Note About Achieving Crazy Amazing Success from Jeannette. It’s Q4! 2022 is only three months away. Although 2021 has not been business as usual, it’s offered many new opportunities for entrepreneurs. Don’t despair if you’re still thinking about your dream! Q4 is the time to learn the 6 C’s and take focused action. Need help? (We all do from time to time.) Contact me!

Want to Become Authentic? It Starts with Self-Awareness

“It takes courage to become who you authentically are and have others listen.” Jeannette Seibly

Being a chameleon or politically correct has its benefits. But so does being authentic and self-expressed. Both can bolster career and promotion aspirations. Both can also limit achieving these very same goals!

“… authenticity means you’re true to your own personality, values, and spirit, regardless of the pressure that you’re under to act otherwise.” (MindTools.com)

Self-awareness is when you’re being honest with yourself and others. Most importantly, you take responsibility for what you say and do, and the impact that it has on others.

7 Reasons You May Struggle with Authenticity:

You…

  1. Need to be part of the team
  2. Fear judgment or ridicule
  3. Suppress insights and ideas, even when they are correct
  4. Are unwilling to admit a blunder or mistake
  5. Dismiss emotional feelings with rational excuses
  6. Seek others’ approval as more important than your own values
  7. Fall victim to socially approved qualities that are not your own (e.g., extrovert v introvert; agreeable v being self-focused, etc.) (ScientificAmerican.com)

As a leader, right now your team (and your career) need your authenticity more than ever. But to be successful, you must also develop a strong self-awareness so that your authenticity creates a positive difference.

10 Tips to Develop Authenticity and Self-Awareness

1. Stop Worrying About What Everyone Else Thinks. (Yes, it’s easier said than done.) Worrying is an excuse for you to hide out and justify why you’re not sharing your ideas and experiences. When you recognize this, stop. Ask yourself, “What is my true commitment to this project and team?’ Now act authentically.

Richard worried about rocking the boat with a new idea since he was new on the team. So, he stayed silent. After the team failed to deliver the results to the customer, Richard shared his idea with his boss. His boss coached him to practice sharing his ideas in the mirror … this would help him set aside his fears and feel comfortable speaking up at team meetings.

2. Set Aside Your Ego. Dial-up your humbleness and dial down the ego when authentically sharing ideas and insights. It makes it easier for others to hear you.

3. Learn the Basics…It’s Time Well-Spent. When you learn the basics in your job, you will build inner confidence and self-expression that helps you create bold win-win-win outcomes.

4. Listen and Learn to Expand Your Beliefs. Confident people are open to listening to others’ ideas and opinions. It’s a great opportunity to stretch limitations without sacrificing your personal and professional values…or authenticity.

5. Take Responsibility for Mistakes by Apologizing. Say, “My apologies.” OR “I’m sorry.” These simple phrases when said authentically help build positive relationships.

6. Forgive and Love Yourself. When you’ve made an error in judgment, a mistake, or a blunder, it’s important to forgive yourself. The key is, what are you doing to “own it” and “make it right?”

7. Listen to Your Feelings. This is a slippery slope. Feelings and logic are both important when making decisions, but are not the same as intuition or gut reactions. Learn the difference. If it doesn’t “feel” right, keep looking for the “why.” It helps you reduce your biases and expand your beliefs.

Joan wanted to build a strong relationship with a new group of businesswomen. While she was self-expressed, her judgmental feelings about members got in the way of developing alliances. She relied on her feelings, calling them ‘intuition.’ These feelings stopped her from being part of the group.

8. Brag or Self-Promotion. Standing up and speaking up is important. But do so in a respectful manner. Also, share your own achievements in a way that guides others to pursue their dreams. Pretending you’re not proud of your achievements is being inauthentic.

9. Be Present. Focus and concentrate in the moment when interacting with others, completing tasks, and engaging in other activities. This simple, but rarely used, practice makes all experiences more authentic and meaningful … others will feel and see the difference too!

10. Develop the Self-Respect and Courage to Do the Right Things the Right Way. Ask for help and accept it. Be a parrot and repeat yourself when people don’t understand the issue after you have reviewed your concerns with your coach.

Jon was concerned about Tom’s decision and shared this with him. But Tom dismissed the concerns as being important. So, Jon spoke with his coach to develop a better way of sharing the impact of Tom’s decision before talking with him again. Tom listened and replied, “I appreciate you speaking up. It takes courage and a positive belief in yourself.” 

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. Her focus is getting leaders and their teams unstuck and able to achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. 

A note from Jeannette about developing your authenticity and being self-aware.  Being authentic starts with self-awareness of what you say and do and its impact on others! As a leader, right now your team (and career) need your authenticity more than ever. But to be successful, you must also develop a strong self-awareness so that your authenticity creates a positive difference for yourself and others. Need help to discover your authenticity? Contact me for a confidential conversation.

How to Ask for Help and Not Feel Weak When You Do

“Deep down inside each of us is a fear that ‘we’re not good enough.’ We overcome this fear by asking for help and discover, ‘we are good enough.’” Jeannette Seibly

“Asking for help is indeed not a weakness. It’s super powerful to understand when to ask.” Simon Sinek

Do you know how to ask for the help you need? Many would say, “sometimes.”

You’re not alone. No matter where you are in your career, understand all current and future leaders have the same fear and confusion. “When is the right time to ask for help?” and “How do I ask for help and not feel weak?”

The issue is, you, and many others, subscribe to the saying, “If they need help, they’ll ask.” But this is seldom true. That’s why your boss or project manager seldom asks you, “How can I help you?” They are waiting for you to ask or fear being labeled a micromanager. Either way, making assumptions doesn’t work.

When a project is late, you have a dissatisfied customer, or the boss keeps making changes, it’s time to ask for help! It’s time to stop the do-it-yourself thoughts. Otherwise, you risk poor work quality, team conflict, and team members watching from the sidelines. This bad habit will cost you future career opportunities.

Susan, a long-time project manager, knew from experience how to get the customer’s project done. She’d achieved great bragging rights. But refused to ask for her team’s help in building on past results. She didn’t trust their insights and experience. Even when team members would ask, “How can I/we help?” she ignored their questions and did it her way. But when the customer complained that Susan wasn’t listening, her boss interceded. “You need to delegate and allow others to help. If you don’t know the answer, don’t dismiss that it was unimportant. Ask the team for help! Otherwise, I’ll replace you with someone open to asking for help and accepting it.” Susan felt unappreciated after that meeting and quit her job the next day.

She failed to see the lost opportunity for leadership growth by asking for and accepting help.

Six Tips to Ask for Help and Feel Confident

1. Set Aside Your Ego. This is critical. If you’re unwilling to ask for help and listen to someone’s ideas, you will lose out on new ways to get the results that work for you and/or your project. For example, “But this is the way I was told it must be done at a recent workshop.” This is what it looks like when your ego takes over.

2. Don’t Wait Too Long or Until You’re Stuck. The sooner you anticipate needing help the better. It’s harder to ask for help once you’ve sabotaged yourself (usually unintentionally) and created a lot of excuses that now feel like facts. For example, “It’s due to the economy and COVID. Otherwise, I’d have gotten that promotion and pay increase by now.” Clearly, this person waited too long and failed to ask for help.

3. Don’t Wait for Clarity. (It seems counter-intuitive.) Instead, ask a person that is not a member of your team to act as an independent reviewer. Ask for their insights and take notes. This is NOT the time to defend and protect your own ideas of how you believe things should be done.

Share in concise statements:

  1. Goal of project or issue
  2. What has been done to-date
  3. What is slated for the future

Then, ask for help: “What do you see is missing?”

4. Be Coachable. Listen and learn from the “coach” or “mentor.” Don’t defend beliefs that can sabotage your success.

Recently an author told me that bragging was nonsense to her. She had a lot of experience and didn’t have time or the need to learn how to brag. Yet, marketing her book and self-promotion is paramount to selling copies! Instead of being coachable, she kept repeating, “I don’t see the value and I’m too busy.” Even after others chimed in, she refused their help to overcome a self-limiting belief of promoting herself for success.

5. Make Asking for Help a Habit. It helps you produce results faster and easier each time. It also helps you grow professionally and become a recognized leader when you are being coachable. For example, acting like you have it all handled, and failing to ask for help or ignoring help will derail your career.

6. Make Your Requests for Help Clear and Concise. Allow for the team member to say, “yes” or “no.” Also, include other’s ideas to make the “yes” work for everyone.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. Her focus is getting leaders and their teams unstuck and able to achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. 

A note from Jeannette about asking for help. Asking for help is a skill everyone needs to develop to achieve desired results. If you don’t develop this habit, you will risk losing out on good ideas, intended cost-effective results, and credibility. Do you fear looking weak when you ask for help? Do you want to become successful as a leader? If you do, it’s critical to develop the habit of asking for the help you need. Ask for help now … contact me for a confidential conversation.

Leadership Success Relies on Facilitating with Ease

“Excellent facilitation skills are often overlooked as essential for great leadership.” Jeannette Seibly

I have coached leaders on conflict resolution, meeting strategies, and project management skills. But the most important skill is facilitating teams. These skills are not hard to use and not hard to learn. Using them will achieve dynamic results every time.

Leadership Success Relies on Facilitating with Ease

Most leaders have many meetings to attend and projects to manage. Your success as a leader is demonstrated by your ability to facilitate these and achieve on-time and within budget results, while having team members feel valued. Developing these skills increases your effectiveness and productivity while saving time!

How to Facilitate for Dynamic Results

  • Hear from Everyone. Yes! I know that can be a scary thought. You may fear it’s too time-consuming to have everyone share their thoughts, opinions, and ideas. But consider…it’s pay now or pay later. The reality is, if you don’t give everyone a chance to voice their ideas and concerns, they will express themselves outside the meeting. This will cause disruptions with other teams and/or customers and cost you time, money, and good working relationships.
  • Manage the Outspoken Know-It-Alls. Some team members will share their ideas and concerns with little or no encouragement. But good facilitators encourage everyone to express themselves, while managing the know-it-alls who will talk over everyone and dismiss other’s ideas. Doing this shows you value and respect all ideas.
  • Develop Their Critical Thinking Skills. It’s important when team members hit a wall (and they will) that they gain the confidence to discover the answers. Good facilitators ask questions. Share stories. And, encourage team members to deep-dive below the media headlines for the correct answers. Use feedback (positive and negative) and coaching to encourage them to do the work.
  • Encourage Team Building and Inclusion. Cliques can be the downfall of any project or team effort. When these occur, pair-up one of the clique members with the person they disagree with. Assign the pair an issue or task to complete together. Remember, don’t encourage lone rangers to resolve team challenges on their own.
  • Guide Others to Resolve Conflict. The #1 reason teams fail is by ignoring or mismanaging conflict. Step up and facilitate win-win-win solutions. Remember, team conflict can open up new insights previously overlooked when facilitated effectively.
  • Be the Coach that Encourages Others. As the coach, your job is to guide team members to learn and develop their technical and people skills. A great way to help individual team members build confidence is to share with the person 1 or 2 good things s/he does. For example, “I find you have great listening skills and I appreciate you ensuring everyone has a chance to share. Thank you.”

©Jeannette Seibly 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. Her focus is getting leaders and their teams unstuck and able to achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. 

A note from Jeannette about developing your facilitation skills. All good leaders have learned the value of and developed excellent facilitation skills. These skills save time, value others, and ensure the achievement of intended results. If you are stuck and don’t know how to use facilitation skills to work with and through others, contact me for a confidential conversation.

How to Turn Negative Feedback into a Positive Learning Experience

“Successful leaders listen to negative feedback and turn it into a learning opportunity. When they don’t, they lose the respect of and the ability to lead their teams.” Jeannette Seibly

No one likes to hear negative feedback about themselves. It feels demotivating. But negative feedback can turn into a positive experience when you listen to learn and improve your productivity.

When you welcome all types of feedback, you will get promoted faster, make more money, and be on the fast track for new opportunities. It also builds stronger relationships with team members, management, and customers.

9 Tips to Turn ALL Feedback into Success

1. Listen with Intention. If you listen with the intention of learning, you will keep your mind open to hearing what is said. The key is to avoid debating who’s right and who’s wrong; instead, ask clarifying questions.

2. Let Go of the Past! When you hang on to negative feedback, you will get stuck. Immediately after receiving negative feedback, talk with your executive coach and/or mentor to turn negative feedback into a positive learning experience. Then, create a plan of action and take the first step within 24 hours.

A VP told a young manager that “…he was stupid for making such a suggestion…that he didn’t know what he was talking about.” When a director overheard the conversation, he coached the young manager on how to learn from the negative feedback. The young manager took the coaching and got into action. He was able to turn the relationship with the VP into a positive one and was promoted six months later.

3. Remember, It’s Not Personal. This can be hard to believe when you receive negative feedback. If you’ve lost out on an opportunity or promotion, schedule a 1:1 meeting. Ask, “What is the most important thing I can learn from not getting this job (or promotion)?” Remember, you may have the skills and experience, but the opportunity didn’t work out for you at this time. Learn from it and be ready for the next opportunity.

4. Release Emotional Attachments. Like many people, you love doing things your own way. You rely on your own ideas and sometimes fail to welcome or take into consideration your team’s opinions. When you blow off negative feedback and fail to learn from it, your team and results will suffer. Eventually, your career will be sidelined.

5. Stay Away from Always and Never Statements. When receiving (or giving) negative feedback, do not use these triggering words! “I’m always on time.” “I would never say that!”

6. Stop Making It Mean Too Much! When receiving negative feedback about a goal, work effort, or interaction, don’t hear it as criticism. (Yes, it can be difficult to do.) Instead, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Remember, negative feedback is about a specific issue, not about you as a whole person!

7. Use a Job Fit Assessment to Clarify “Why.” When someone says you are not a good fit for a job, use a job-fit assessment and work with an executive coach to find out why. You may find that financial planning, sales, and/or customer service jobs do not fit your strengths! It’ll be the best money you ever spent and can save you countless disappointments in the future!

8. Get Your Brag On! When you learn how to brag or promote yourself, it is a huge confidence booster. Don’t fall into the trap of sharing the negative feedback with everyone that’ll listen! Instead, share your “brags” to showcase your coachability to take feedback and use it.

9. Develop Mindful Resilience. Don’t allow negative feedback to sabotage your self-care. Take positive actions for your professional development by turning your internal monologues into dialogues with your coach and/or mentor.

©Jeannette Seibly, 2021 All Rights Reserved

Jeannette Seibly is The Leadership Results Coach. She has been an award-winning executive coach, management consultant, and keynote speaker for over 28 years. Her focus is getting leaders and their teams unstuck and able to achieve dynamic results. Contact Jeannette for a confidential conversation. 

A note from Jeannette about turning negative feedback into positive learning experiences. Paying attention and listening to ALL feedback is critical for professional growth. If you only listen to the positive, you’ll lose the opportunity to learn the truth! If you hate receiving any type of feedback, it’s time to get over it before you are bypassed for a promotion or pay increase! Contact me for a confidential conversation.